CHATTERBOX - Lochwinnoch Online

last winter taken by Pat Smith. The
snow scenes of areas and wildlife
around the village were simply
stunning. Others showed the brave
individuals who were curling on the
frozen loch.
In the interval Margaret served tea/
coffee and cream scones.
It was all very relaxing and enjoyable.
We hope to repeat this because there
are lots more pictures out there.
On Thursday after the lunch 32
members were taken to Erskine
garden centre to do some Christmas
Shopping. For those who haven't been
there yet it is well worth a visit. Plus
you will be supporting Erskine
hospital when you shop there or have
a coffee in Nick Nairn's Vanishing
Willows cafe. I can recommend the
apple squares.
By the time this goes to print 65 of us
will have enjoyed our St Andrew's Day
lunch at the golf club.
We wish to thank all local businesses
who are currently donating prizes for
the raffle to be held at the lunch. A
more comprehensive mention will be
in the next issue.
ROAR events still to come this month
in the McKillop are . . .
Thurs Dec 2nd 1pm - 3pm St
Andrew's Day celebrations.
Thurs Dec 16th 1pm - 3pm
Christmas party with Dave Lennox.
After the 16th the lunch club will
have a break and resume on
Thursday 13th January 2011.
The Tbar will be open on 7th Dec as
usual then close until Tuesday 11th
January 2011.
There is no forum monthly meeting in
December. The next one is on
Thursday 27th January when a
representative from RC will be telling
us what happens to all the paper,
plastic, tins, glass and garden waste
we put into the recycling bins.
Gordon Nicholl
Met Iona Biggar-Carr
on the Hill
Hello, dahling, you're looking SO
WELL. I hear your Felicity has joined
a club, I hope she enjoys it. I saw her
last week and if you don't mind my
saying she seems to have put on
QUITE a bit of weight. Is she still
seeing Jonny from the gymkhana?
Well, I suppose he does come from a
military family although the Foreign
Legion does seem AWFULLY exotic.
Such a shame, they seemed made for
each other. It seems like just
yesterday that Isolde and Felicity
were ROMPING with the Sea Scouts
and look at them now!
We're SO pleased, Isolde is doing SO
WELL. You know she is in... the
name escapes me... somewhere
where fur is still fashionable. Yes,
she's teaching IDIOTS no, sorry,
I N U I T S d e p o rt m en t . V E R Y
WORTHWHILE! She tells us that
kayak etiquette is much improved
since she's been there. Ivor is SO
PROUD especially since that horrid
headmistress was SO unreasonable.
Still, the saving in school fees was
useful.
Isabelle, Selwyn and Honor are fine,
thank you but Isabelle is becoming
QUITE tiresome, she's determined
to become an ACTRESS! Every time
she comes comes into a room she
bows, turns round, leaves, and
returns to bow again. She's
practising curtain calls! She assures
me that Cobbler Drama Club will
vastly improve once she leaves
boarding school and joins them.
WELL, here's hoping!
YES, my charity work takes as much
of my time as always. Noblesse
Oblige! Where would Lochwinnoch
Ancient Monument Enthusiasts be
without me and, although I say it
myself, my liquorice and fig
traybake was the talk of this years
Fete! Someone asked for my recipe
as they had been so moved by the
taste! One has one's gifts and is
OBLIGED to use them.
On a sadder note, my reading group
– the DRINK N' DISH - is in
disarray! It seems the Library may
be moving to a COSIER location.
Cosier my foot! That just means less
5
space! Where will the bar and disabled
pole-dancing podium go? What is a
reading group without a BAR?
UNCIVILISED! Darling, the girls are
even now choosing which outfit to go
with tarmac – one wouldn't like to lie
in the road in protest and find oneself
wearing the wrong colour, imagine if
one BLENDED! What height heels
does one wear when protesting, SUCH
a conundrum. Darling, dander is
definitely UP!
I've heard there is a plan to kidnap
local Councillors and force them to
read Dostoevsky or was it Dan Brown
– anyway READ until they've had
ENOUGH and give in. I voted for
water-boarding instead but too many
SOFTIES voted against!
MUST DASH, the Oldies' Circus have
asked me to come and give a cookery
demonstration. I hope they are as
moved by my traybake as LAME were!
BYEEE!
Swedish Style Wedding
A couple in Sweden wanted to get
married on the 10th October 2010
(10/10/10) which as you know was a
Sunday. The local church wouldn‘t
have a wedding on a Sunday so the
disappointed couple had to think of
somewhere else and they did - the
local IKEA store.
T h e s t o r e m a n a g e m en t w a s
sympathetic to the couple‘s plight and
so they were married between the
bookshelves and sofas. Not only
that,they had their reception in a
specially cordoned-off part of the
IKEA restaurant.
So with the average wedding these
days costing in excess of £20,000,
could this be the answer in these cashstrapped
times? Try suggesting it to a
bride-to-be, but be ready to run away
quickly!