Tattoos Music Horror Skate Art - Absolute Underground

Vol. 6 - #3 - Issue 32 - Feb./Mar. 2010
Absolutely FREE
Tattoos Music Horror Skate Art

Punk, hardcore and Metal
The scum also rises
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Tattoos , Music , Horror , skate and Art

Master of Ceremonies - Ira Hunter
Inukshuk Carver / Art Director - Chad Persley
Riot Control - Willy Jak
Torch Desecrater / Music Editor - Ryan Dyer
Mitten Knitter / Graphic Design - Demonika
Corporate Sponsor Division / Advertising Design -
Clayton Hall, John Warnock
Time Keeper / Office Manager - Dan Johannessen
Global Watchdogs / Web Masters - Emily Kendy,
Adam Blainey, Adam “Goatlord” Hughes
COVER ART by Robin Thompson
Writers - E.S. Day, Liam Lux, Erik Lindholm, Pauly Hardcore,
Ryan Dyer, Chuck Wurley, Les Wiseman, Ira Hunter, Denis Maile,
Ryan Coke, Dyerbolique, Uncle Anus, Jake Jackoff, LOLO, Ricky
Jak, StEvil, Dustin Jak, Chris “Super-Terrorizer” Finch, David
Barnes, Brad Reckless, Gerald the Happy and Abstinent Police
Clown, Andrea Chirulescu, David Prodan, Krissi Steele, Jef Tek,
Emily Kendy, Demonika, Pamela Porosky, Shawn Central,
Sarah Graves, Ty Stranglehold, PeeStain Elliot, Glen Bitters,
Crystal Walts, Kristopher Murder, Lacey Morris, Jimmy Miller,
Jen Warnock, Jelena Petkovic, Julia Totino, Brenin Barrow, Art
Godoy, Paul Merkl, David Warren, Kyle Harcott, The Dirty D,
Markus Jak, Jeff Valentine, Tony Foresta, Tim Vaillancourt, Lexi
Fatale, Miss Gory Rae, Laceration Lacey, Victor Creed, Michael
Gignac, Henry Mud, SWATSON, Chris Walter, Cunt Eyes, Jade
Cooper, David Bertrand, David Von Bentley, Wendythirteen
Photographers - John Warnock, Pauly Hardcore, Chad
Persley, Demonika, Ira Hunter, Jake Jackoff, Keith Norton,
Justin Poulsen, Mike Chow, Chris McKibbin, Ryan Dyer, Justin
Schneider, Scott Alexander, Ryan Dyer, Krista Robson, Zia
Marashi, Travis McDermid, Brad Reckless, Nathaniel Shannon, ,
Nick Parson, Brydon Parker, Pamela Porosky, Dani Eggen,
Robin K, Mr. Sable, Jen Warnock
Comic Artists – Robin Thompson, Randy Chaos, Dick Kaupf
Horoscope - David Zunker - www.mysticmountainlodge.com
Crossword - Dan Scum
Transcription – Crystal Walts, Erik Lindholm, Pauly Hardcore,
Sarah Larson, Gena Meldazy, Julia Hunter, Krissi-Steele, Gena
Maldozy, Sarah Graves, Alli Pickard, Chuck Wurley,
Interns – Needed Desperately!!! Apply within to
info@absoluteunderground.ca
Logo Design – Robin Thompson
Distribution -
Vancouver - Amber Lamoureux, Manly Mark, Mr. Plow, Stiff
Josh, Michelle Everaert, Robin Thompson, my Mom
Whistler - Brydon Parker, Black Ohm Robin
Victoria/Vancouver Island - Big Rick, Cabby Craig, Hippy
Dave, DJ, Jesus, Lackie, Champs of Hell Dan
Seattle - CC & Gravy
Calgary - Chad Persley, Guido
Edmonton - Rich Bastard
Winnipeg – Jamie Vertigo,
Saskatoon - Keith Corbett, Wes Funk
Lethbridge/Medicine Hat - Jeff VandenElzen
Toronto - Glen Dirty Bird
Montreal - Shawn Central
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Co-Published by Ira Hunter and Willy Jak
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table of contents
victoria’s locals only - alcoholic white trash...........................................page 4
vancouver vengeance - the winston campaign .......................................... page 5
calgary carnage - akakor .............................. ..................................... .........page 6
ink slingers - hansom jeff - pair-o-dice tattoo.................. ........... ............page 7
waste for your face - toxic holocaust ........................................................page 9
american import - six feet under ............................................................. page 10
montreal massacre........................................... ...........................................page 12
toronto trash - oi polloi ......................... ....................................... ...........page 13
metal n’ budz.................................................... ............................... .............page 14
charred walls of the damned............................ ............................ .............page 15
barn burner..................... .............................................. ... ............................page16
hardcore alley - outbreak............................. ............................... .............page 18
gorgoroth interview with infernus............ ............................. ................page 20
21 and under with suicidal tendencies ..................... ..... ............................page 21
fyiyfi - surviving the olympics........ ....................... ................................page 22
do you believe? by wendy13...................................... .......................... .....page 23
toxic toast ska report - chase long beach..................................................page 24
blast from the past - alice cooper ........ ................... ................................page 25
legendary uk punks - g.b.h. ............ ...........................................................page 26
the bonitos - billy hopeless returns! ........................ .............................page 27
r.i.p.- marsha ellen meidow...................................................... ......... .......page 29
at the buffet - purple garden..................................................................... page 30
live reviews.................................................... ........................................ ....page 31
album reviews....................................................... ......................... ............page 33
dvd reviews........................ ............................................................ .............page 34
r.i.p.- ryan fox...................................................... .............................. .......page 35
absolute horror - lucifer valentine 666.............. .....................................page 36
artist profile - will young........................................................................page 38
book and dvd reviews....................................... ..........................................page 40
horoscopes - absolute mix-tape... ............................................................ .page 41
crossword - comics - sex column xxx... .................................................. page 52
next issue:
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www.capitalcitytattoo.ca
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read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 3

ALCOHOLIC
WHITE TRASH
Reborn Alcoholics
interview with Knuckles (Bass)
and Ratboy Roy (Vocals)
By Ira Hunter
In the late summer of the year
2000, cosmic forces combined like a
great flush of a giant toilet to bring
together four separate turds into one
fantastic turd known as Alcoholic
White Trash, and they’ve been
leaving their stain on Victoria and
Canada ever since.
AU: Tell us the origin of Alcoholic
White Trash?
Ratboy Roy: The origin of the band
Alcoholic White Trash was 10 yrs ago
when all the bands we were in at
the time (me and Gino (guitar)- Ted
Bundy Project, Knuckles- Drunktank,
and Jason Brown (first drummer)-
Boner Dogs) all kind of dissolved
around the same time. We thought
we’d give it a go and while we were
getting pissed at the bar Jay worked
at, he said let’s call it Alcoholic White
Trash.
AU: Is it also some sort of drinking gang?
Ratboy: Gang? Gang is such an ugly word and it
implies organization which most of our people
aren’t capable of. It’s more of a drinking team and
we are all just teammates enabling each other’s
alcoholism... cause that’s what good friends do.
Knuckles: It’s like the fucking American Express -
being a member has its privileges.
AU: Who’s in the band?
Ratboy: Ratboy
Roy-Vocals. Gino Trash-
Guitar. Knuckles- Bass.
Big Ricky Logjam-
Drums.
Knuckles: Paul
Newman, Jimi Hendrix,
E.T.
AU: What other bands
were you assholes in?
Knuckles:I was in
Drunktank, then The
Shivs. I am now in The
Capital City Stalkers.
Ratboy: I’ve been in 4
bands: The Peckers, Ted
Bundy Project, AWT,
Ratboy Roy and the
Gloryholes.
AU: What are some of
your favourite local bands to play with?
Ratboy: Dayglos, LFM, Keg Killers, Hoosegow,
Fuck You Pigs, Blackie and the Triumphs, LID,
Junkie Death Squad.
AU: Describe the type of sound you guys dish
out?
Ratboy: We play hard fast no bullshit Scumbag
Rock and Fucken’ Roll!
Knuckles: Audio diarrhea served on a backhand.
4 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
us laugh.
victoria’’s locals only
AU: What are most of the
songs about?
Ratboy: All over the fucken’
place. There are tons about
getting fucked up and
defiling pretty girls. There’s
others about shit that
pisses us off, like the blatant
corruption in every level of
government and organized
religion, or sometimes they
are about shit that makes
Knuckles: If you read the lyrics Rat boy is
surprisingly intelligent for a dirt bag. Of course
everyone remembers the songs like “Suck My Dick
Bitch” and “I Shit My Cunt” which are Gino’s fault.
AU: What’s your favourite city to score hard
drugs on the streets after midnight in?
Knuckles: Bogota. From my experience, the
further East you go the shittier the blow gets.
AU: Best A.W.T. tour story?
Ratboy: One night in van after our set, I got a
room upstairs at the Cobalt so I could be alone
with a classy young lady. Well it turns out this
young lady was fucken’ crazy, and I don’t mean
the good kind either, this bitch was psycho.
Sparing you the details of my bottle throwing,
face biting, head smashing evening, when I
showed up for breakfast the next morning the
guys could barely eat their food from laughing at
my fat lip and bite marked face.
Knuckles: It’s really creepier than anything but
Big Rick and Gino always end up spooning in the
motel. Roy woke up on a crack stem in van after
wondering what was pokin’ him all night. Many of
our funny stories upon reflection are kind of sad
and disturbing.
AU: Any news on the new album?
Ratboy: The new album is called Reborn
Alcoholics, it will be out in march. To me this
album has the feel of “I Can’t Skate” and “Punk
Rock Jihad” combined. It definitively has Brian
“Who” Else’s fingerprints on it.
AU: Craziest show you’ve ever played?
Ratboy: At FouFounes in Montreal on a Dayglos
tour was fucken awesome. But my favorite was
the last show at the Cobalt with the Subhumans.
The Cobalt was our favorite room by far and it
ruled getting to play the finale.
AU: Who is the biggest fuck up in the band?
Knuckles: What are you trying to start a rock
fight? But seriously, those guys are all equally
fucked. I don’t know how they made it this far.
Down the road of failure that is.
Ratboy: We all take turns; we are very democratic
that way. Whether it’s Gino too high to play in
the studio, Knuckles completely incoherent to
everyone but himself (Boomhauer), or me puking
on everything. There is no clear winner.
AU: Are the legends about the midget
strippers true?
Knuckles: Little people.
Ratboy: No comment.
AU: Let’s get serious for a minute and talk
about your former drummer and founding
member, Jay Brown, and his memorial show.
Ratboy: Jason Brown was our bro, he was taken
way too early and it sucks. So every year on the
day he died, Jan 29th, we play a show to get
pissed drunk with bros and remember him, and to
raise some dough for the Victoria hospice society.
AU: Upcoming tour plans?
Ratboy: AWT 10 Year Anniversary Cross-Cuntry
Extravaganza supported by the mighty Lesbian
Fist Magnets. To Montreal and back is the plan.
AU: Thanks douche bags. Now get those kneepads
on and get back to work!
www.myspace.com/alcoholicwhitetrashpunkrock

The Winston
Campaign – From
Rags to Riches.
Interview w/ Dan (Drummer)
and Mike (Guitarist/Wordsmith)
By: denis maile
I got together with Mike and Dan of The Winston
Campaign and 18 beers and three doobies later
had quite the story on my hands.
Absolute Underground: So you guys went to
Mexico to play with NOFX. I was surprised to
hear you made it when I saw how wasted Mike
was the night before you left.
Dan: The last thing I told him was you can’t be
smelling like pussy, cocaine and whiskey when I
pick you up in the morning because we’ve got to
cross the border.
Mike: This guy called us a bunch of pussies for
playing and running.
AU: I didn’t call you a pussy. I called you a rock
star.
Dan: And I shrugged it off
casually.
Mike: But I’m thinking I’m
an alcoholic and gonna stay
and get wasted on all the
free beer.
AU: There was a lot of free
beer.
Mike: I’m pretty sure lesbians
fed me whiskey and white
wine.
AU: It was a cross-dressing
party.
Mike: Around 2am they
threw me into a cab blacked
out drunk and I demanded
to get out 12 blocks from my
house.
AU: That’s not too far.
vancouver vengeance
Mike: It was December and I was wearing a dress
and had only one shoe on. I’m thankful I didn’t
get arrested.
Dan: I wake up at 3:45am, pick up Hugh and go
to Mike’s. He’s sleeping on the floor stinking like
party and whiskey with the alarm going full blast.
Luckily the door was unlocked.
AU: Are you still in the dress?
Mike: No, I’m in my nighttime attire sleeping on
a pile of unfolded laundry and my hair that I’d
shaved off the night before.
Dan: I had to shake him awake and he lets out an
incoherent scream. I tell him he’s got ten minutes
to get ready. After hearing him swear and crash
around the room for ten minutes I knock and go
in. He’s walking away, ass naked and he looks over
his shoulder like he’s the Terminator and yells,
‘Fuck off!’ I’m like ‘oh shit! Put some clothes on.’
From there it was smooth sailing to Monterrey. In
the airport we find a little Mexican guy holding a
The last thing I
told him was you
can’t be smelling
like pussy, cocaine
and whiskey when
I pick you up in the
morning because
we’ve got to cross
the border.
sign with our three names on it. He takes us to a
super nice motel and tells us a DJ called Girl Talk is
performing at the club across the street. The same
venue that will host the NOFX show.
Mike: We go to the club with minimal Spanish
trying to explain to people who can’t speak
English that we’re supposed to get in for free.
Finally we realize this guy who looks a bit sketchy
is our guy Roberto and he waves us in.
Dan: We walk in and there is 2000 Mexicans
raging and the venue was amazing. Everyone
was looking at us and I realized we were on
stage with about 80 people dancing around
the DJ. After the show it’s 1:30am, we’re getting
wasted, meet back up with Roberto and pull
down some huge white barricade and throw it
onto the ground in the middle of the club. Next
we’re chugging Jagermeister straight from the
bottle until Roberto hurls it against the wall being
super drunk. We go backstage into the ‘Girl Talk’
greenroom and there’s nobody there. At Roberto’s
request I put on our new record and he cranks the
volume as high as it goes. Then he pulls a bong
out of a huge china vase, hands it to Hugh and
smashes the vase against the wall. Next he grabs
a chair and smashes it on the ground. We ask him
what he’s doing and he yells, ‘I own all this shit,
let’s fuckin’ destroy it!’
Mike: He picks up another
chair and throws it into a
picture frame, then says to
me, ‘you have to help do this.’
I ask him if he’s serious and
he is, so I pick up a chair and
whip it into the same picture
frame that he just broke.
Then I go over to Hugh and
we’re both agreeing that this
is really fucked up.
Dan: But I’m fully committed.
Mike: I hear laughter over my
shoulder and turn around to
see Dan and Roberto flipping
a table and the marble top
smashing all over the place…
Dan: Granite. Anybody who says it was marble is
full of shit.
Mike: Or ignorant which is my excuse. Now I’m
thinking there is no stopping this so I throw the
chair into the picture frame a couple more times.
Hugh’s taking pictures, and something is not
sitting right with me so I leave the room and see a
girl who I tell to look inside the room. She opens
the door and sees Roberto looking up at her
holding a chair while Dan’s got a table leg and the
room is fucked up.
Dan: Shattered glass, shattered wood and
shattered granite in all directions. The next time
the door swings open seven giant Mexican
bouncers with bulletproof vests storm in with a
well-dressed Mexican guy who is screaming in
Spanish. All of a sudden we’re thinking there are
other people with a stake in this massive club.
To be continued next issue. If you can’t wait that
long check out The Winston Campaign March
6th @ The El Dorado and ask them the rest of the
story…
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 5

AKAKOR
By Ryan D
When I first saw ex Ost Est Ima guitarist and old
friend Crag Reaburn’s new band Akakor in a dingy
bar in Calgary, it was the musical equivalent of
drinking eight cups
of coffee with three
laxatives to chew on. I
was soiled, somewhat
sordid, and my pants
haven’t been cleaned
yet. Recently playing
the third annual
Noctis festival, Akakor
are quickly becoming
one of Calgarys
more formidable
metal bands. While
all seemed well, an
automobile accident
swept the band
early in the New
Year. Thankfully no
one was seriously
injured. The resilience
of metal has again
shown itself as
Akakor are pushing
themselves to stay
steady after such
a scare. Before
this, I caught up
with Reaburn to
summarize the origins
and philosophy of
Akakor.
Absolute Underground - What is Akakor and
how does the name relate to the subject
matter the band presents?
Craig Reaburn - Akakor is a name of a fabled
inner earth city located under Guatemala. There
are said to be secret societies that follow esoteric
agendas which include a hollow earth theory
proposed by Eckhart Tolle. During WWII there was
a supposed expedition to seek the entrances to
the inner earth through the South Pole. Lyrically,
we touch upon many subjects which relate to
secret societies and hidden knowledge.
AU - How has the transition been into doing
vocals and lyric writing as well, compared to
your previous bands, did you always want to
write about these
subjects?
CR - In other projects
there hasn’t been
the freedom to
explore controversial
ideas. Lyrics can be
interpreted in any way
but the intent behind
the lyrics is something
that is focused upon in
Akakor. We can write
about duality or the
worship of ancient
Gods and still make it
fit into the aggressive
sound that is Death/
Grind. In past projects
the lyrics mainly
focused on the goreish
side and that left
the song’s content
really worn out and
over done. There is a
lot more satisfaction
when you express
an idea or expose a
truth that will spark
someone’s imagination
or curiosity.
AU - What are some of the other topics
you bring up in the lyrics, you brought up
pharmaceutical drugs, secret societies, etc?
CR - The song “Codex” refers to an international
food regulation called “Codex Alimentarius”. This
new food code reclassifies nutrients as toxins and
puts restrictions on the production or distribution
of all foods and supplements. “Unreal” focuses
6 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
on the properties of existence
and human will which chooses
to believe what it sees. “Silent”
talks of people trapped by their
unwillingness to speak out and their fear of the
reaction or consequence.
AU - I read that it takes you quite a while to
complete one song; are enough finished to
record an album yet?
CR - We are working out a demo right now which
should be out very soon. A full length will be
started once we get enough material. We use an
abstract approach to songs which strays from the
generic song writing structures.
AU - Is it difficult to be original, technical,
brutal and socially conscious all in one song?
CR - Short answer no, long answer yes. No it is
not difficult to want to be original, technical,
brutal or socially conscious. To achieve all of
these aspects is meticulous and time consuming.
Making music that is aggressive and technical
is difficult because you can fall into the trap of
calgary carnage
being just aggressive or just technical and lose
sight of making interesting music. When a song is
completed we all can agree on the ideas we put
out in our music and that is the bread and butter
which keeps us alive in the hole.
AU - Anything else to add, time for tea?
CR - “You know the taste when you put Red
Hot hot sauce on pepperoni pizza and it’s just
awesome? Well that’s the feeling that I get when I
listen to Akakor. Ya that’s right. Quote that shit.”
Brian: You guys wanna get rad?
Craig: Hittin’ you up wif real trufs.
Eliane: Akakor is number one brand shreddies in
a box.
Rory: I let the riffs do the talkin’.
Check out www.myspace.com/akakormetal to
listen to some tunes.

Absolute Underground: Who are you and where are you from?
Hansom Jeff: I’m me and come from the planet earth.
AU: How long have you been an artist?
HJ: A long time I think?! Like way over a week!
AU: What got you into tattooing?
HJ: I didn’t want to end up designing packaging for some mega
company.
AU: Who did you apprentice under?
HJ: Bert Jackson and an honourable mention to Greg Garrat and
Stan Wong, not to mention all the others that gave me tips, advice,
and encouragement.
AU: Artistic influences?
HJ: All those that came before me and life.
AU: Who are some of your biggest inspirations in tattooing?
HJ: All the Sailor’s and Gypsy’s and Tattoo such and such’s that made
tattooing what it is today.
AU: What style of tattooing are you best known for?
HUGE SELECTION!
PIPES, BONGS, VAPORIZERS,
ROLLING PAPERS, SCALES,
BUBBLE BAGS, GRINDERS,
GROW BOOKS & APPAREL
HJ: Monkey style
AU: Where are you currently Tattooing?
HJ: Pair-O-Dice Tattoo in Victoria B.C
AU: Describe the other artists who work at Pair-O-Dice with you,
and what makes them special?
HJ: The other guys at the shop are all great, no rock stars, no huge
egos, just people that love the work they do. The level of experience
is astounding and I look forward to gaining as much knowledge as I
can from them.
AU: What do you want the readers to know about you as a
Tattooist?
HJ: I take bribes.
AU: Does most of your work tend to lean to the side of Good or
Evil?
HJ: Whatever side is winning.
AU: What music do you listen to when working?
HJ: I like something fast and aggressive when I’m working, but I
listen to a wide range of music while drawing depending on mood
and type of piece I’m trying to achieve.
AU: What types of art do you work on when not tattooing?
HJ: Oh um I like all the arts as long as I can get seasonal vegetables
and gravy with them for dipping.
AU: If you weren’t an artist, what would you want to be?
HJ: I would want to be an artist. It’s the only job I have ever really
wanted.
AU: Where and when did you see your first tattoos?
HJ: National Geographic those tribal ladies had tattoos all over
them, and no shirts too!!
AU: What tattoo would you do for free?
HJ: Your payin one way or another!
AU: What’s the craziest request for a tattoo you have ever
gotten?
HJ: Wendy’s Baconator!!!
AU: Why should someone come get a tattoo from you?
HJ: If you want a good tattoo without a Rock N’ Roll attitude then
I’m your man.
AU: Future Plans?
HJ: Make Mr. Noodles with hot chilli sauce, tattoo and stuff and
probably watch some homeless guy piss himself in the square..
AU: Website?
HJ: No but it’s in the works.
ink slingers
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 7

8 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv

waste for
your face
Interview with Joel Grind
(Vocals/Guitar)
This is a new regular column written by Municipal
Waste frontman Tony Foresta. Catching up with the
Waste for the third time in the last 5 years, Tony told
us he loved everything the magazine was about
and wanted to help out. Here’s a convo he had with
another of our favourite bands here at AU, Toxic
Holocaust.
Municipal Waste, Toxic Holocaust and Warbringer
are looking at a tour of Japan this Spring.
by Tony Foresta
I’ve been trying really hard not to be the torch
bearer for this record label hyped “thrash revival”
thing. When people ask me in interviews what
new thrash bands I like I usually try to dodge the
answer like the plague. The truth is I don’t like
a lot of the newer thrash bands. I mean I’m not
saying I hate all of them, there are some great
ones. You can’t really deny that Ghoul isn’t a
fucking great band. I also dig Early Man too. I’m
just saying there is also a sea of shitty ones out
there as well and I’m not trying to be responsible
for all that noise. Anyways, all of that aside I would
have to say that my favorite of the more recent
bands playing this style would have to be Toxic
Holocaust. I harassed the shit out of Joel (who’s
the brains behind T.H.) to do this quick interview
with me. He’s a great guy and one of my favorite
people to drink with. Thanks Joel!
T) Tony Foresta
J) Joel Grind
T) Hey Joel can you tell us where the hell are
you are right now?
J) Tony, thanks for the interview. I’m at home
(finally) in Portland, Oregon. Last year was a
looong one, so it’s good to be at home just
relaxing and being lazy.
T) You just got back from Europe touring with
Skeleton Witch and Goatwhore how was that
run?
J) It was pretty intense; it was the first time we’ve
been back to Germany since 2006, so it was
long overdue. The shows were wild, lots of head
banging and obscure patches on vests.
T) Please tell us, how many times did Ben
Falgoust try to grab your dick?
J) Believe it or not, Ben didn’t try at all on the Euro
tour. We toured with Soilent Green and I was like
one dick grab away from having to go out and by
a cup, but this time around it was mellow. Actually
though, I just saw Goatwhore in Portland a couple
of days ago and he got me good. He’s got those
long arms, and sometimes you just can’t see it
coming.
T) So you’re going to Japan with us (Municipal
Waste). Looking forward to that?
J) I can’t fucking wait! That is gonna be some
crazy shit. This is your first time going there with
the Waste right?
T) Yeah I’ve never been. I’m really excited
about it.
J) You better wear a diaper over there, cause
you’re gonna lose your shit.
T) What Japanese punk and metal records are
you looking to score while your over there?
J) Well, I’m looking for a lot, but I can’t afford any
of it. G.I.S.M. – M.A.N. LP, Bastard – Wind of Pain LP,
Ghoul (from Japan)- Carry Out Fucking EP, Venom
– Welcome to Hell (Japanese Pressing) LP etc etc.
Boy Records and Disc Heaven in Tokyo are always
good to check out.
T) How many times has Toxic
Holocaust been to Japan?
J) I have been twice before this.
This time is gonna rage. I’ve
never played anywhere but
Tokyo, so I’m looking forward to
seeing some more of Japan.
T) Didn’t you have a band from
Japan play as your back up
band when you first toured
there? Explain how that
worked and why you did that?
J) Yeah, I had the band Abigail
backing me up. I did that
because at that point Toxic
was still a solo project and in
order for me to tour I had to get
people to play my shit.
T) Overdose of Death has been
out for a while now is there a
new LP in the works?
J) Yep, I’m hoping the new one
will be out this year. I have a
bunch of new street jammers. I’m
pretty proud of the new stuff.
T) You have a split 7” coming
out with Inepsy on Tankcrimes
can you hype us up about that?
J) I can’t wait for this to
come out. We do two Inepsy
songs (Conspiracy WWIII and
Bombshell Rock) and they do
two Toxic songs (Hell on Earth
and Atomik Destruktor). I think
Inpesy is just finishing up their guitar tracks and
it’ll be out. Our side is finished already and just
waiting on artwork.
T) Do you or have you ever rode BMX bikes?
J) I used to ride a little when I was an early
teenager but I totally sucked. I could bunny hop
and that’s it. I’m a piece of shit.
T) Haha awesome. What are your touring plans
for this year? Besides Japan of course.
J) We have some shit unconfirmed yet, but it will
probably be a lot of overseas stuff this year. I’m
glad we are going to Japan together, it’s gonna be
next level retardedness.
T) I can’t wait! Thanks again for doing this
interview!
Check out Toxic Holocaust here
www.myspace.com/toxicholocaust
Follow Tony Forestra’s online Blog:
leastmost.com/sounds-good/
or on twitter @tubuzz666
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 9

Digging graves
with Chris Barnes
-By Erik “Silent Violence” Lindholm
Six Feet Under is known best for their decade-plus
run of brutal apocalyptic missives – killing sprees,
cannabis consumption, and the zombie lifestyle.
In the previous two cover records, Graveyard
Classics I and II, you’ve heard them take on AC/
DC and even Jimi Hendrix with (tongue firmly in
cheek) in their distinctive, stripped down style.
Now they’re back with a third installment of
classic metal tracks. We get in touch with Chris
Barnes, lethal vocalist, to dig up: why covers, what
next?
Absolute Underground: Where are you
at? Right now, it’s three in the morning in
Afghanistan.
Chris Barnes: That’s unbelievable, bro. That’s a first
for me.
AU: We are tying together the brutal death
metal and the brutal tank and airplane metal
in this issue.
Barnes: Anything I can do to help! It’s the least I
can do to get you some good music to kill people
to! [laughs heartily] As far as me, in Tampa, at
home, hanging out. Ready for the new CD to be
released on the 19th. It’s been a long year of work,
and we’re happy to see it emerge.
AU: Do you feel you’re pregnant right now, and
about to give birth? About to shoot a record
out into the world?
Barnes: [laughs] It’s a bit like giving it up for
adoption. I have it in my hands, my baby, and
now I have to give it to someone else. Here’s
hoping they don’t beat the shit out of it! [laughs]
AU: The State will put it in a home.
Barnes: Look at it like CD returns; and hope
nothing is returned or put into protective
custody!
AU: Doubt it – it’s start to finish a greatest hits
of metal. How did you come up with this list of
classics?
Barnes: I started listing to songs that fit our vibe.
They are songs that I liked growing up, and still
enjoy today. I presented the songs to the band,
and we are on the same wavelength. I asked
them, “do you like these?” and they were like
“yeah!” so we went from there. I have a good
perception of what works within our style. There
was some that I took into consideration: people
wanted to hear a Slayer song, a Metallica song,
we’ve heard that over the years from the fans.
AU: Prong to Van Halen – a wide range. On the
Canadian side, Exciter and Anvil! Anvil has
been hot the past year opening for AC/DC. Do
you have a mutual fanbase?
Barnes: Perhaps. I always really liked those bands,
I grew up in Buffalo, New York, so I am more
Canadian than a “New Yawker”. I was so close
to Toronto, I’d go see shows there. Exciter was
one of my first favourite bands in the early 80’s,
and Robb Reiner from Anvil – best drummer
of all time, what a pioneer. Brian Slagel from
Metal Blade, he suggested BTO. I knew their hits,
obviously, and the heavy bass riff spoke to our
style. The Canadian bands are underrated!
AU: Some of our rock ‘n roll makes it south to
the States... do you know Bryan Adams?
Barnes: Of course! We covered Bryan Adams on
Maximum Violence, the KISS song “Warmachine”
was actually written by him!
AU: [shocked silence]
Barnes: No kidding! Everyone likes our KISS cover,
10 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
but I say, “hey man, it’s a Bryan
Adams song”! That is some
trivia for you!
[laughs]
AU: Enormous!
Have you
gotten
feedback from
him?
Barnes: [laughs]
I wish, I’d love
to sit down with
Bryan and pick
his brain for
a while. To go
fishing and talk.
AU: That is a
“Behind the
Music” special!
With Six Feet
Under, there
are always
morbid
themes. What’s
going on in
your life right
now?
Barnes: I’m
trying to get my personal life on track. That fuels
my writing as I get set for the new album. Life is a
funny thing, I don’t need to tell you that – you’re
in the warzone – it can get fucked up and weird
living everyday.
AU: Can you give some direction on what the
new record will sound like?
Barnes: We’re just getting started on it in the
rehearsal space and brainstorming – feeling the
vibe and jamming. That’s how it starts, just see
what comes up and go from there. No one knows
where it will go yet. I hope it will be challenging
for me and this is my favourite part of being in the
band, putting together the puzzle pieces of riffs
and lyrics that will eventually become an album.
AU: Given the theme of Graveyard Classics III,
can you reccomend an album to our younger
american import
readers which is considered “must have”?
Barnes: One of the greatest bands of all time is
Thin Lizzy, “The Very Best Of Thin Lizzy” is the CD
you are talking about right there. That is such
a heartfelt and intriguing record. It is such an
influential record and band, that many younger
people might not have gotten into.
AU: Looking forward to seeing you drop the
new covers live. Final message for Canadians?
Barnes: Shout out to the Canadian fans and the
troops over there. I’d love to play a show there for
the troops, lets line it up! Much love to you guys
overseas, wishing you luck and safety.
erik@absoluteunderground.ca
www.myspace.com/sixfeetunder

ead absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 11

Boredom and
Hibernation brings
out Resilience
and Creativity in
Montreal
By Shawn Central
So look, I’ll be honest, nothing’s going on really.
Ok maybe there’s a shit load of things going on
but quite frankly, I don’t give a fuck... and it seems
that’s the general consensus here in Montreal.
Simply enough, when it starts to get cold, people
hibernate. I guess there was a bunch of shows
recently like: Oi Polloi, Exodus & Arch Enemy,
Between The Buried And Me, Chuck Ragan &
Tim Barry, Hatebreed and Cannibal Corpse just
to name a few. So yeah, there are shows and
yeah there are parties. So what?!?! Why describe
the same scenario over and over again. Ok, how
‘bout this. There was something a little different
that transcended over the last month of sorts. It
was this oddball show that was held in a cinema
but not just any cinem, a dollar cinema (www.
dollarcinema.ca). It is just that, a buck or two for
the flick and the beverages and food are all a
buck as well. The theater is in the heart of Decarie
Sqaure, better known as the ghetto mall. The bill
featured an array of up and coming local artists
such as Dopethrone (Sludge, sludge, sludge and
more sludge. Fans of Iron Monkey, Buzzo-ven,
Eyehategod, Bongzilla. You get the picture...) - visit
their site at www.myspace.com/dopethronemafia.
Let see who else ...Ultrathin (http://www.myspace.
com/ultrathinmtl), Dead Wife (http://www.
myspace.com/deadwifemontreal), Squalor (http://
www.myspace.com/squalormtl), Denialtone
(http://www.myspace.com/denialtone),
Team Canada (http://www.myspace.com/
teamcanada514) and more... All bands played
to either movies of their choice or DIY films that
played in the background to add to the surreal
atmosphere granted that night. For more fun
and frenzy, whether before during or after show
banter, check out this thread on stillepost.ca
(stillepost.ca/boards/index.php?topic=132181.0).
Ok, so imagine the mall from Dawn of the Dead
(1978), now picture it had been preserved and
then time warped to present day and you now
have the mall in which the dollar cinema resides.
Everything about the environment belched
wrong and creepy. No alcohol was “permitted”.
Uh-Oh!!!! Let’s just say when the cops did in fact
come, all they had to say was keep it in the cups
and Happy St-Jean. Woohoo! It wasn’t the best of
attendances but considering it was -30 to -35 that
night with wind-chill, it fared well after all. Not
to mention, not necessarily the most convenient
of locations to get to. Perhaps a ten minute walk
from the Metro in the tundra, going up and
around overpasses and the like! Phew! All that
was said and done, sure things could have been
12 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
done a bit different but in my
humble opinion the boys at
Team Canada (who helped
book and promote the gig)
did an amazing job considering the odds. There
was an article in the local rag, flyers all over town
and viral campaigns up the ass! I hear there’s
another one in the works for spring. Now it’s a
matter of not killing one’s self slowly with alcohol
FEB. 6 Kataplexis with Exit Strategy,
Mark of Cain and Kilyakai
FEB. 9 Doom Cannon with Breaking The
Fourth Wall and As The Romans Do
FEB. 12 Meggido with Candaria , Bravado ,
Train Bigger Monkeys
FEB. 13 The Gypsy Bears with Keith
Morrison ,rN , Mares Of Thrace and
Junkies Rush
FEB. 14 Valetines Day with Aparatus
Theory and Machete , The Savants
, Deluge and Adies Irish Rose
FEB. 16 Scincerly Autumn with The Fall ,
Floods and Assault
FEB. 17 Karaoke
FEB. 19 Ingneus Audio with Haggard Beat
, Rodney Guitarsplatt and The
Reckless Heroes
FEB. 20 Oh Lenore with Chad Kichula
,Ebenezar and Caught Off Gaurd
FEB. 24 Bell Tower and Revenant
FEB. 25 Bankai with Beautiful Unicorn ,
Diatesseron and Apollo Jones
FEB. 26 Gales Of Avalon with Ashes In The
Fall and Viveset
FEB. 27 The Promethean Labyrinth
montreal massacre
while waiting for the groundhogs to surface.
Maybe next article I’ll follow the recent trend I
see here at AU and interview someone like, oh... I
don’t know, let’s say ... hey Costa!!!
Got a minute?
MAR. 5 Night At The Chelsea with
Monarch , Warbird
MAR. 06 Solid Gold with Second Guess ,and
Twenty Centuries Of Stoney Sleep
MAR. 12 Damn Dirty Ape with The Gaze ,
Jet Fighter and Exploding Pigs
MAR. 13 Grimzen with Jessica Rabbit ,
Epidemic and Me Three
MAR. 16 Camaromance with Ian Kelly
MAR. 17 The Shilleghs with Seven Shots
From Sober , Roaring Fourties and
Three Good Men
MAR. 19 United We Fall with Black Reign
and Imortal Sacrifice
MAR. 27 Jezibelle with Demon Republic
APR. 11 Ball and Chain Gang
APR. 18 Redrick Sultan
MAY 5 Unknown Culprits
MAY 14 Derelict with Kataplexis
MAY 19 Bell Tower with Texting Mackenzie
and Good Question

Oi Polloi
By: Uncle Anus
I’m here with at the Kathedral
for one of the last punk shows
ever in the legendary Big-Bop
building which is closing Jan
31. We’re in the dungeonlike
depths of the basement
which has already begun its
demolition and new foundation work, and joining
me for Absolute Underground are Scotland’s
anarcho-punk band Oi Polloi!
Absolute Underground - Tell us when Oi Polloi
started. Don’t make me go to Wikipedia!
Ruairidh (/Deek – vox): Well that’s the thing; you
should never believe everything you read on
Wikipedia. Much of the Oi Polloi entry isn’t true.
But yeah, the band started in 1981 when we were
a bunch of 14 year old kids at school.
Oigridh: Well, I was just one. I was born quite
recently actually. When Oi Polloi first started. I’m
relatively new comparatively speaking.
Deek: Oigridh is the youngest in the band; I’m the
only original member. But we don’t think that’s
very important because the stuff has always been
the same. The original lineup split-up before we
even got into the studio for the first time. It isn’t
a million miles different from those early days.
It’s still political, sing-along punk songs with fast
music.
AU: You explain your lyrics thoroughly
between songs.
Deek: A lot of times at a punk show, especially
when it’s noisy crust-punk, or something where
people shout like dogs or whatever, you can
never hear what the bands are trying to say. Many
times the sound system is just shit. Tonight the
sound was very good, but that’s a rare thing. Don’t
forget too, there are always people who have
never heard the band before. They don’t have the
records. So we like to explain what the songs are
about. There were some people who came up to
me tonight who said, “Hey, you said some pretty
interesting things!” Maybe they didn’t hear the
lyrics, but at least they understood what it was all
about.
AU: You all seem to be having a really good
time, what makes Canada fun so far this tour?
Oigridh: Everybody we have met, and the gigs we
have played have been awesome. Everybody has
just been so into it. It’s been great, to be honest,
absolutely fantastic.
AU: Quebec City, Montreal, Toronto tonight,
Ottawa tomorrow, why only four dates in
Canada?
Deek: Unfortunately we didn’t have much time.
We have a European tour after this which takes
up the better part of 3 weeks. We all work so it’s
a matter of getting time off. We had one week to
work with and thought we would have a much
easier time getting let into Canada, as opposed
to the United States. And unlike the US, we
wouldn’t get fucking finger printed and all that
shit. Still, entering Canada proved to be difficult.
They questioned him (Cameron - drums) for half
and hour. Phoning his work back in Scotland and
everything! In the end, with our disguises on, we
fooled them.
AU: It’s Canada’s policy to interrogate all
drummers before letting them visit. You know
what kind of trouble they can be.
Olssen (guitar): That’s for sure!
Deek: We’ve been to the US three times and
Canada only once. So fair’s fair, you know?
And to be honest, the French-Canadian part
(Quebec), is very interesting to us.
AU: Quebec is awesome. It has a very European
flavour.
Deek: Exactly. People from America write to us
and ask when we are going to come and play,
and to be honest, why
would anyone want to
go and spend time in
the USA? We can go on
tour in Europe and it’s
really interesting. You can
drive just a few hours and
go through completely
different cultures. When
you tour the States, you
can drive for a week and
every place is the same.
Here in Canada we have
gone from a culture
where everybody speaks
French, to Toronto, a city
with a huge diversity in its
people.
AU: What’s new with Oi
Polloi?
Oigridh: Well, we just
got the first run of a new
album called ‘SS Politician’, a compilation of the
last single and split release. It’s got ten songs and
it’s great!
Deek: New music is always inspiring. Promoters
will promote nonsense like ‘Punk Legends’, ‘Punk
Dinosaurs’ or something with older bands and we
just don’t feel like that. Many bands that played
the late 70’s and early 80’s split-up for ages, going
to work in an office or something shit, and then
they come back…
AU: …and charge ridiculous door fees!
Deek: Exactly. WE recognize that a few bands
that get back together in their 40’s just to try
and relive the good times they had when they
toronto trash
were teenagers. To them, we wish good luck. But
you’re right; there are many people that think
‘money, money, money!’ We don’t give a FUCK
about money! All we care about is covering our
transport charges. The little we do make comes
from the T-shirts. That money is used for practice
time and studio costs. We are
just not interested in money.
If we were, we wouldn’t
be playing in a punk band,
and… I’m ranting because
I’ve drunk too much of the
energy! (holds up not one
but two beers to cheers!)
AU: Why does the singer
answer the questions most
of the time?
Deek: Because we have the
big mouths! Remember
when you and I were talking
about the militant side of
anti-fascism, earlier tonight?
Well, I would never make any
kind of pretence that I was
some kind of street fighter
or something I’m not. But
everyone CAN do their own
thing. My thing is I have a fucking big mouth. I
figured I may as well use it.
AU: I can tell Oi Polloi enjoys their THC. Where
is the best pot in the world?
Oigridh: Here and now.
Cameron: This is the first time I’ve smoked BC
skunk bud and I must say it’s pretty fucking
amazing.
AU: Any last words?
Cameron: Yes, can you show me where the bar is
at again?
AU: Gladly!
www.myspace.com/oipolloialba
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 13

Golden Years
Alice Cooper’s, “I’m Eighteen” is playing
on the cable music station and I was
just imagining what I’d tell my 18 yearold
self if - I could go back in time with
the collective knowledge of my almost
45 year-old self.
Truth be told, most
18 year olds now
know much much
more than we did
then, so therefore;
would I ask my
theoretical 18 year
old self questions
rather than give
information? I
doubt it. What
would I tell me?
Heavy Metal Music
will never last,
that’s what they
told us back when
Saturday Night
Live was just in
its infancy, back
in 1975 - now
celebrating their
35th Anniversary
and Metal is still evolving, echoing
and entertaining the masses like never
before. My 20 year old friend, Anna,
is living proof, with a full belly tattoo
of Eddie, that she is in the process of
coloring. That is an awesome display of
true dedication, a Maiden fan for life.
The last time I saw Aerosmith, Kiss,
and then Van Halen, the crowd was
eight to 80 with every generation
represented, all getting along and
singing the songs. When my wife
Michelle and I saw Iron Maiden in 2007
there was a row of preteens singing all
the words to all the songs, songs that
were written and performed decades
before these kids were even born. Same
thing for Megadeth and Slayer last
year. Obviously, these kids were born
rocking!
You, reading this magazine, hey, what’s
your deal? Were you born to rock,
or what? Don’t worry, Metal will be
around forever.
Some things were
just meant to be.
Like, I was meant
to be a medicinal
Marijuana
advocate. I don’t
think I’d tell my 18
year old self this,
though, I might
scare me! Would
I tell me that pot
still won’t be legal
in the year 2010?
No! I have to
encourage myself,
not discourage.
If I told me that
marijuana was
medicine, would I
take that info the
right way, or would
that simple phrase
derail me before I
even left the station?
Fact is fact Jack, and you can’t go back.
That is a good thing because if there
is truly anything, even a miniscule
microdot of information to be shared
here it is this: These ARE the “golden
years” we are living in NOW! It don’t get
any better ‘n this...
Enjoy this day in its entirety, don’t dwell
on pasts and don’t focus on futures.
That - to me -is gambling. I’d rather be
rambling, rambling on, singing a song.
With my bong.
Dig the now.
Jef Tek
14 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
Step up & rub the
crystal ball…
By Krissy Steele
Looking back thru an open window there are many beats on
my mind.
I reminisce about all the kick-ass, Indie bands I have seen
over the past decade. The most memorable band is a new
Vancouver Island death metal group called Necrotrench. Why
is Necrotrench on my mind? Two hard hitting bass players
& a monster drummer are why I remember this group. The
lead bass player sings their best songs in French and English.
“Don’t Drop My Bong.” is my new favourite song. These three
guys keep their promise to deliver it heavy.Waiting for the
century to turn into a reality; as we collectively held our
breaths in anticipation of the massive power outage we
were prompted to believe would see many in the face of ruin
come the year 2000. Were you disappointed by the lack of
drama? We finished this first decade off having weathered
a national financial crisis and numerous over dose deaths
of those who should have known better. We started the
next decade of the new millennium off with a devastating
hurricane that needs
all of our extra cash
to repair the damages
done. Is this some sick
cosmic joke??? So,
with all that in mind,
what does the future
hold? Well, metal
heads, headbangers
& anarchists - step up
& rub the crystal ball!
The prediction for our
new “fear focus” is the
environment. If you
need a business idea
for the next decade,
think green; recycling,
self sustaining
housing, solar power,
water collection
and growing your
own food. I can get
behind the “grow
metal n’ budz
your own” food philosophy because that supports my
latest goal; to become an avid medicinal cannabis grower.
What more could I ask for? My favourite herb and it’s good
for the planet…I can smell the excitement! This summer
I’m headed to the wastelands of eastern Quebec to learn
the sacred trade of growing cannabis outdoors. And I’ll
throw a party while I’m there! Metal n budZ basH 2010
where the bloody tunes serenade the sticky budZ into
Metal oblivion. My blood runs sticky just thinking about it!
The 6000 mile adventure will see me with video camera in
hand. The Metal~Mentary Road Trip; my latest venture into
video making. I will reveal the strength of the Indie metal
scenes across Canada in search of the answer to this simple
question. Where did Metal start in Canada? Maybe you will
view some of my shit on the new AU.tv site! Currently on
Drop the Hammer Monday’s (11pm-3am pst) on chly.ca
101.7fm you can listen to the Indie bands you love. From Pop
Metal to Punk and every song in-between; we spend our
spare time searching for those bands you need to hear in
4:2010. Featuring the higH~larity & grow expertise of JefTek.
Listen to the podcasts on chly.ca

Charred Walls
of the Damned
Interview with Drummer
& Writer for Howard Stern,
Richard Christy
By David Von Bentley
Richard Christy came into my life when I was 17.
I heard his drumming on Death’s last and best
record ‘Sounds of Perseverance’ (top 10 essential
metal record in my humble opinion). From the
opening seven and a half second drum solo I
knew he was a special kind of musician. He had
chops and style. But it was his gig on ‘The Howard
Stern Show’ that has
endeared me to the
point where I feel as
though I know the guy
personally.
I know about
how during the
Thanksgiving holiday
in the States that he ate
so much rich food that
he was stricken with a
case of the gout. I’ve
seen his cock, taint and
asshole far too many
times for my liking.
And he has made
me laugh more then any other drummer on the
planet. But that doesn’t summarize the man. He’s
a complicated character that can be perceived to
be a simple country boy at first, but in actual fact
is a focused individual who has separated himself
from the rest of the pack.
Having grown up in Redfield Kansas (which had a
population of 140 people, last checked in 2000),
Richard quickly outgrew his small town roots
moving to Florida in 96’. During that time the
metal scene there was picking up momentum
with bands like Cannibal Corpse, Obituary, and
Death actually selling a great deal of albums.
Richard ended up becoming
the drummer of Death
in the summer of 1997.
He worked closely with
founding member Chuck
Schuldiner. But sadly Chuck
developed a brain tumor
and by December 2001 had
lost his battle with Cancer.
Said Richard, “Chuck maybe
be gone but his music will
live forever. It’s the hugest honor to have
played on a Death album. I became best
friends with Chuck and we had so many great
times together.” Richard moved on after the
devastating loss of Chuck, but says “I miss him
everyday.”
His music career took a back seat in 2004 after
winning a contest for his dream job of working on
the Howard Stern Show after Stuttering John left
to become the announcer for the Tonight Show.
“I worked as electrician for 12 years. One of
the things that got me through the day was
listening to the Howard Stern show. I’m now so
lucky to be apart of it and do
what I love for a living.”
Howard’s On-Demand TV
channel (www.howard.tv) gave
Richard an opportunity to have
his own drumming special,
which helped ignite the passion
to create music again. “I wrote
an original song that came
out about two years ago. It
was called ‘Frost’ and it was
just an instrumental I did for
fun on the show. It showcased
the drums and it turned out
to get a really good response.
I started to get a lot of e-mails from people
which really inspired me to keep writing
songs.”
With the music itch engulfing him during his
down time from the show, Richard set out to
start a band, not a solo project, “About a year
ago I had nine full songs when I started
talking to Brian from Metal Blade about doing
an album and working with them. About a
year and a half ago I called up Jason Suecoff
(Capharnaum, Crotch Duster), Tim Owens
(Judas Priest, Iced Earth), and Steve DiGiorgio
(Death, Testament) to see if they wanted to
work on an album. Luckily they all said yes. I
consider this a band. I’ve had a lot people go
“Is this a solo project, or is this a band?”, It’s a
band”
Now having his cast of characters set and all song
demos ready, “I record all of my tracks with
me playing the guitar, bass, drums and even
I sing on them” Rich found that his band mates
really added their own styles during the recording
process with their own takes on his song writing
“When we go into the studio Jason (who also
served as the producer) would improve on the
guitar riffs. Steve will do his own thing on the
bass, which will be amazing and same with
Tim’s vocals. He will take the ideas that Jason
or I had and make them incredible. I’m good
enough to lay down a blue print on the demo’s
but everything gets so much more
improved when we get into the
studio.”
Now that Charred Walls of the
Damned is ready to release its debut
album on Feb. 2 through Metal Blade
records, Rich isn’t slowing down for a
second “I want to keep this going.
I was so inspired in the studio with
Jason, Steve and Tim that I can’t
wait to do it again. I remember the
days of Black Sabbath when they
would put out an album or two
every year. I want to keep this going
as long as possible. I might record
more this summer or in the fall. This
is just something that I want to take
on the road if everybody’s schedule permits it.
I want to stay in the heavy metal scene as long
as I can.”
You can check out Richard’s band at myspace.
com/charredwallsofthedamned. Or look for
updates on possible tours or new releases at
facebook.com/charredwallsofthedamned or
twitter.com/cwotd. For all things Richard Christy
visit richardchristy.com/
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 15

BARn BuRnER
By David Bertrand
Barn Burner hail from Montreal, bursting with
bro-friendly balls-rock, super-sweaty riffs and
far too much beer! A heavy-assed rock/metal
one-two-puncheroo – with two boots in 70s fuzz
riffin’, two boots in 80s thrash, and two boots on a
skateboard in the back alley!
I met with guitarist/
vocalist/mainman
Kevin Keegan (the rest
of Barn Burner being:
Nick Ball – Bass, Taylor
Freund – Drums, Marc
Doucette – Guitar), a
hilarious, charismatic,
fun-loving dude. On
stage, he’s like your
metal-jonesin’ kidbrother
– babyfaced,
skin-tight jeans,
glorious metal
mane, proud Misfits
T-shirt and eyes that
screams, “I AM SO
UTTERLY STOKED to
be playing my metal!
Goddaaammn!” Even
the chilliest armcrossing
hipsters will
smile! Excitement
abounds as Barn
Burner prepare to
reissue their debut
album, the marvelously
titled Bangers, via
Metal Blade Records on
Feb. 16th!
Absolute
Underground: Kev –
way back, you were
the original drummer
for Vancouver
pop-proggers Bend
Sinister, and then you
pulled a Dave Grohl...
Kevin Keegan: I ‘tolla
the Grohl, yeah I did! I was playing drums with
these guys, and Dan (Moxon, Bend Sinister’s
keyboardist/vocalist/leader) was writing most
of the songs. I was just following his lead,
doing what I could behind the kit, but if you
listen to that stuff, you can hear me throwing
in blast-beats in a total progressive pop song.
So obviously, I had my metallic leanings! In
Vancouver, I was playing guitar in a band called
16 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
Jaws (awesome!), and a band called A Javelin
Reign (double awesome!). Drumming was just
something I’d done forever, but I was always more
interested in writing stuff for guitar, and then I
started singing as well, and I thought I’d give this
a shot!
AU: When did you move to Montreal?
Kev: Some friends of mine played in a band out
here called The Gorgeous – a hardcore band.
They were goin’ pretty well,
and I was kinda in-between
things at the time, feeling like
what the fuck...? I was sick of
Vancouver, basically. And they
were like, “Hey, do you want
to come out and do this tour
with us in the UK?” So I moved
out, learned the chops and
did a couple of tours. Then the
band sort of fizzled out, and
the whole time I was writing
my own stuff anyway. They
wanted me to write songs for
them, but I was like, “Yeah...
but these songs are too cool...
I’m fuckin’ starting my own
band!”
AU: Where’d the name Barn
Burner come from?
Kev: My old band A Javelin
Reign had a song called ‘Barn
Burner’. I wrote the song,
and the fucker was just sooo
ripping that I was like, man, this one’s a real barn
burner! Let’s call it that! And then later on when I
was stumped for a name for this band, I was like,
“Hey...”
AU: My first introduction to Barn Burner –
this amazing gig poster: a toque’d skeleton
devouring a gigantic pizza slice as naked ladies
& businessmen drown in rivers of mozzarella!
The same skeleton is on the Bangers cover
holding a “Wizard Staff” of duct-taped beer
cans! Who is this dude?
Kev: The character? Bernard Burner! He’s our
mascot. He’s like our Eddie. He’s everywhere!
AU: How’d you hook up with Metal Blade?
Kev: That was super random, actually. Almost a
year ago when we first recorded, I did a whole
bunch of mail-outs to labels. And I was thinking,
ah fuck, Metal Blade, they’d never have us on
there. It’s all pretty extreme stuff, maybe they
won’t like the fuckin’ proto-metal thing I got
goin’... So I wrote them off. The one label – out
of all my favourite labels – that I didn’t send
anything to! Which is weird
because no one got a hold
of us, then out of the blue
Metal Blade’s like, “Hey! We
like you guys!”
AU: What’s new for the
re-release?
Kev: The Metal Blade version
of Bangers will be longer,
with two extra songs (‘Half
Past Haggard’ and ‘Medium
Rare’). It’s remastered and
remixed and everything too,
so it sounds waaaay better.
But this new master is not
going to be pressed on vinyl,
so the vinyl (New Romance
for Kids Records) is gonna be
a commodity.
AU: Lyrically, Barn Burner
often delve into darkness,
paranoia – not that you
would know from songs
called ‘Wizard Island’,
‘Beer Today, Bong Tomorrow’, or my personal
favourite: ‘Brohemoth’!!!
Kevin: ‘Brohemoth’! Well that song is a total
apocalyptic theme about standing on the brink
of devastation, fuckin’ with a tall can of fuckin’
brewski in one hand and a big, fine maiden in the
other. But you’re embracing the end. “Behemoth”,
in Biblical terms, is one of God’s unpredictable
fuckin’ monsters, kind of indifferent, and
represents this chaos. So it’s like the ‘Brohemoth’
is the Lord of all Bros, that represents chaos and
devastation and absolute fuckin’ utopia.
AU: Sure. Thanks Kev!

ead absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 17

18 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv

“the exits are sealed &
no-one is escaping!”
Interview with: Ryan
O’ Connor / Vocals
By: Pauly Hardcore
Absolute Underground: The framework of the
band has been significantly re-structured, how
has this impacted Outbreak?
Ryan O’ Connor: We had a pretty drastic lineup
change a year and a half ago, so we went through
a few months of trying out different members.
We were attempting to get things solid again
- finding out who was going to work on tour
and who wasn’t. Anyway, things started coming
together, and our other guitarist, Brian, pretty
much had everything mapped out before we
finished writing and recording the new album,
but we decided we wanted a second guitarist, so
Billy joined up. He stepped in and helped write a
couple of the new songs, and handled a lot of the
leads. Billy’s a great guy, and brings an awesome
vibe with him…on stage and in the van.
AU: You also went to Think Fast records, how
did that materialize and what made you decide
that?
Ryan: I run the label so it was a pretty natural
choice. It’s basically like self-releasing. We sort of
get the best of both worlds – we have complete
control over everything, but at the same time,
have a brand backing us. We had a few decent
labels making offers, but nothing that was
enticing enough to jump on. With Think Fast, I
had previously released a bunch of Outbreak
records too – I re-released our first EP, put out
the vinyl for our first LP, and more recently put
out our split with Only Crime and a 7” single…
basically I had done everything except a proper
full length album. The label has built up quite a
bit of momentum over the last couple of years,
so I felt like I was in a
position where I could
put it out and push
it properly. So far, so
good.
AU: Who did the
album art for the
new release &
inspiration behind
it?
Ryan: Ryan Eyestone.
Local Maine guy.
When we were talking
about art themes, it
was difficult to try
and come up with a
“central theme” – ya
know, something that
would represent the
album as a whole. The
lyrics are all over the
place, so I didn’t want
to settle on something
that didn’t show this.
So I came up with the
idea of just throwing
as many different
themes as possible
into it, and somehow
tying it all together.
What you see is what
you get. I’m happy
with it. It’s sort of a
cluttered, colorful, crazy mess, but that’s basically
what was going on in my head with the lyrics, so
that’s why it works well.
AU: How did you approach writing and
recording this record?
Ryan: Brian (guitars) and Perkins (drums) would
basically get together, go over ideas that they had
come up with on their own, and that’s where the
songs would start to take shape. From
there, “the skeletons” would get stripped
of anything unnecessary, tightened up,
etc. Billy (second guitarist) joined later
in the process, but he came up with a couple
of the songs as
well. We demo’d
everything, and
then sat on it for a
few weeks before
we went into the
studio. So when
we recorded the
album, we had a
pretty good idea
of where things
were at, which is
always nice. In the
end, it tends to
lessen the amount
of things you wish
you could change,
ya know? That’s
the worst feeling,
when you leave
the studio, and
have a million
things you wish
you could change
about your record
– it’s almost always
inevitable too!
AU: Tell us about
the album,
themes, lyrics,
mood?
Ryan: Mood? Fast,
crazy, dark, and a
melodic moment or two thrown in to keep things
interesting. Like I said before, the lyrics are sort of
all over the place. There’s songs about having no
faith in humanity, songs about feeling like I am a
target to authority figures, songs about wishing
I was a kid with no responsibility or bills, songs
about not buying into politics, etc.
AU: Any horror stories crossing the border?
hardcore alley
Ryan: One time, Canadian customs wouldn’t
let our bass player into the country because of
a really, really stupid charge that he had on his
record. It was clearly one of those power trips/
moments where you can tell you got the wrong
person on the wrong day. Our bassist ended
up taking a Greyhound to Seattle (from North
Dakota), and we continued on with our western
Canada shows without him. I think his bus ride
was like three days. More recently, I had a bad
experience at the border, but this time it was on
the U.S. side (ya know, the country I’ve lived in
my whole life?) It was this long, drawn out ordeal,
with a customs agent who clearly was bored and
had nothing better to do than fuck with me. I
have no criminal record whatsoever, but I was
treated like a terrorist on 9/11. I filed a complaint
and am still diligently working on getting an
apology from the guy. It’ll be a bitter sweet
personal victory if I do, but he seems to have a lot
of pride, so I’m not sure if he’ll be able to get off
his high horse to admit that he was in the wrong.
There’s a song on the new record about a very
similar experience. It’s called “Human Target” ha
ha.
AU: What’s the significance behind the band’s
name?
Ryan: Nothing too interesting – I wanted a short
band name that had potential for cool artwork.
Also, at the time, it seemed like every single band
had a really “deep” band name – something long,
complicated, and sometimes something that was
really ridiculous and made no sense. “As Blood
Runs From The Wounds Of The Weak” was the sort
of thing that I wanted to make sure I was at the
opposite end of the spectrum of ha ha.
AU: Final words for the Canadians?
Ryan: As long as your customs agents take it
easy on us we’ll be seeing you all soon! Looking
forward to it! Thanks for the interview.
Myspace.com/outbreak
Thinkfastrecords.com
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 19

20 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
21 & under
With Suicidal
Tendencies
By E.S. Day
Suffering from member and label changes,
physical damage and constant touring, the
current line-up of Venice, California’s legendary
Skate/Thrash/Hardcore Kings Suicidal Tendencies
are back and
heavier than
ever. With 2 new
albums on the
horizon and
a slew of tour
dates, vocalist
Mike Muir spoke
to Absolute
Underground
Magazine’s E.S.
Day to give him
the lowdown
on their new
Live DVD and all
things Suicidal
(and Infectious
Grooves) for 2010.
Absolute Underground: We are here with
legendary vocalist, and singer-songwriter
Mike Muir, how are you sir?
MIKE MUIR: Doing really good. Long story short,
I’m just sitting at home in Venice, California
AU: The first ever DVD “Live at The Olympic
Auditorium” is in stores January 26th on
Suicidal Records I had a peek at it this
morning…fucking brilliant!, truly captures
the essence of Suicidal in their purest form. So
my first question Mike, what the fuck took so
long?
MM: Well, as I said everything is a little bit of a
long story, but basically, the Olympic Auditorium,
going back in history, was originally built for
the Olympics and was the biggest venue in LA
at the time, then over the years it has gone into
disrepair, to the point that in the early 1980’s,
they actually let bands do big punk rock shows,
which wasn’t very common. It was a great big
building, basically a fortress that could put up
with anything. Then we got a call, saying ‘They’re
selling the Olympic Auditorium, there hasn’t
been any shows there for a while, we want you
do headline one last show’ which is all good and
would have been a no-brainer, but I just had back
surgery…
AU: Oh fuck!
MM: … We got another call about headlining
a festival in Columbia, so we did the festival,
headlined to 95,000 people, the week after that,
the Olympic show. Two days before, I wake up,
and I can’t walk. Because of all the stuff going on,
we decided to go ahead and do the show, and
afterward, I had to have another back surgery.
AU: You guys are as fresh, and as vibrant as you
were back then, and it’s fucking wicked.
MM: Funny story, we were in France, and they
had me go to this doctor, who was the national
rugby physician, and I walked in, and the guy
is not the typical person you would think who
knows Suicidal Tendencies, but he looks at me
and says, “You’re Mike from Suicidal Tendencies!
You may not know it from looking at me, but I am
a Suicidal fan”.
AU: No fucking way!
MM: He looked at me right away, and knew I
needed surgery, but I had another week of shows.
As a doctor, he told me I should jump on a plane,
and just head home
AU: Drummer Eric Moore is absent from the
drum throne, what happened there?
MM: The footage was actually from 2005, so pre-
Eric. Back when Suicidal was touring in California,
Eric came to the show, he was friends with Steve,
asked me what we were doing with Infectious,
and if we ever did anything, he wanted to try out.
We gave him the call, got him in the band. It was
one of those things that was just too obvious.
When we went to Europe, I had people coming
up to me saying ‘You’re bringing Eric to Suicidal,
aren’t you?’ We
just did a show
at Long Beach
arena, we had the
drummers from
the other bands
filming him, going
‘Dude, that guy
is insane!’ and I
think that is what
Suicidal should be.
AU: New Suicidal
album when and
who’s producing?
MM: We haven’t
done a record in
10 years, but we have done a lot in that time. We
have people coming up to us saying ‘You know,
you guys are doing shows, why don’t you put
a record out and tour off that?’ That’s not what
Suicidal is about. Its not doing it just because you
don’t think you will get another chance, I want
to get out there and prove we are better than
we ever were. So going out there the last two
years, we have kind of re-baptized the converted,
reminding people why they love Suicidal, get
them on the phone after the show calling up their
friends. We’re kind of putting out the old stuff,
clearing the deck, like with the DVD, we’ve got a
live CD straight from the board from 1995 when
Infectious grew, Robert Trujillo on bass and stuff,
something straight off the board that you can say,
wow, that was 15 years ago.
With Suicidal, we have two CDs coming out, the
one, I call it the Mike Clark record, and I call it that
because we got Mike (ST rhythm guitarist) into
Suicidal after working with him and the band No
Mercy he came in on “How Will I Laugh Tomorrow”
after 1987’s “Join the Army”. Half of ‘How will I
laugh’ was actually songs for No Mercy. That was
another no brainer, like with Eric, why weren’t we
using this for Suicidal?
We re-recorded some of the No Mercy and Join
the Army songs with Mike Clark, who isn’t on
the originally recordings. With him, we take it to
a further level, that’s why I call it the Mike Clark
record.
And of course, there is the new Suicidal Record
coming out at the end of the year, which
everyone is always asking, does it sound old,
does it sound new, and for me, I think the whole
thing with doing a record, is ultimately having
people know it’s Suicidal. Suicidal in a sense that
it’s different than what other people are doing.
Some people won’t like it because of that, but
ultimately, I think 15 years from now people will
still be listening to it, and saying wow, that was a
really fucking crazy record.
“Live At The Olympic Auditorium ” is in stores
January 26th, 2010
www.suicidaltendencies.com
www.twitter.com/officialstig
www.myspace.com/infectiousgroovesofficial

Chase Long Beach
Whatever Happened to
Suburban Rhythm ?
By Chuck Wurley
Up and coming Long Beach California ska outfit,
Chase Long Beach tour a lot. They even came to
Victoria and played the Cambie last year. I had
the pleasure of speaking with several of them,
and then watching them play an extremely
energetic set to a very small crowd. Some bands
really give it their all, night after night, no matter
who is watching. The year 2009 also saw Chase
Long Beach put out an album on Victory Records,
Gravity is What You Make It.
Karen: I am Karen, and Pat is drunk.
AbsoluteUnderground: Nothing wrong with
that.
Karen, No, he is not drunk, haha.
AU: Describe yourselves as a band, briefly.
Pat: Big bunch of party animals, we like to tour, we
like to make music.
Karen: We play music, which could be considered
in the ska genre, we are creating our own wave
of ska! The fourth wave, unless someone wants to
give it a cooler name.
AU: You guys tour lots?
Karen: Quite frequently.
Pat: The past two years, after the release of out
debut record, we put the pedal to the metal.
Karen: We tour at least half of the year.
Pat: Last year it was seven months, this year much,
much more.
AU: You have been overseas before?
Karen: Twice.
Pat: We have been to Europe twice, and we are
going back for a full European festival tour!
Karen: Doing it DIY is hard.
Pat: We are one of the few bands who actually go
to Europe DIY. Lots of bands play seven shows in a
month. We have four days off in six weeks.
AU: That is rigorous! What are some of your
favorite bands from Europe and the UK?
Pat: Fandangle, Sonic Boom Six, Mr. Shiraz.
Karen: Mr. Shiraz!!
Pat: We brought them to
the States actually.
Karen: Sonic Boom Six
toured with us in the
States as well, and we
toured with Fandangle in
Europe.
AU: This show came
about actually, because
I was trying to get Sonic
Boom Six to play up
here.
CLB: Aaaahhh!
Pat: Looks like Meghan
just joined us. Say who
you are!
Meagan: Hi, my name is
Meagan, I play trumpet.
AU: You guys ever had
any comparisons to Dance Hall Crashers?
.Pat: Yeah, especially when the debut record came
out. With Meagan, there were dual female vocals,
which generated a lot of comments like that.
Karen: I think the only thing that really compares
us to DHC, is that we are female fronted and
we have harmonies. Meagan and I do switch
off a little bit, not as much as they did. We get
compared to everyone in ska with a female
vocalist.
AU: Save Ferris?
Karen: Yes, Mealticket, etc.
AU: I like Dance Hall, that is why I threw it out
there. They were great, I saw them open for
toxic toast
Bad Religion in 1996.
Karen: Bad Religion? Wow!
AU: Yeah, it was DHC, Bad Religion and
Unwritten Law.
Karen: Oh my god!! I was in 3rd Grade.
AU: What do you guys think of Suburban
Rhythm?
Pat: I have got an awesome story for you.
We were doing some PR for the Sonic
Boom Six tour and one of the kats from
Suburban Rhythm owns a record store in
Long Beach. He actually wrote into the local
newspaper, The District, and said there is this
amazing ska band Chase Long Beach, why don’t
you check them out? And the next day our PR guy
actually sent in a press kit to them. The lady from
the newspaper actually got the letter and then
opened our press kit the same day!
AU: Helped open a door for you!
Pat: Yeah, yeah yeah!
AU: I just discovered them in the last year
actually. Over the years listening to Reel Big
Fish, I always wondered…
Karen: …who is Suburban Rhythm?
Pat: Suburban Rhythm is pretty cool! You can find
a lot of older flyers for shows with No Doubt, and
Reel Big Fish, opening for Suburban Rhythm!
AU: Funk mixed with ska!!
Pat: They were a big influence for the majority of
the bands who were a generation before us. There
would not have been the SoCal scene if it wasn’t
for them.
AU: They are underrated, nobody I know
knows them. I thought instantly that they were
amazing! That is pretty much the end of the
interview though, best of luck with your tour!!
CLB: Cheers, thanks!
www.myspace.com/ChaseLongBeach
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 21

FYIYFI: SURVIVING THE OLYMPICS
“WITH GLOWING HEARTS”
by Liam Lux
There’s more rain than parade when the doobie-doppelganger
torch finally arrives in Terminal City this month. Somebody must
have cared, but nobody is sure just who. After two years of the
pre-Olympic hype machine spouting a constant barrage of rhetoric,
locals are too burnt on the bullshit to bother sparking up any
excitement. And with the steadily mounting waves of conflicting
information and misinformation on everything and anything to do
with the whole thing, nobody really wants anything to do with it
anymore.
Nobody, of course, except the army of anagrams in charge of the
party: the IOC, VANOC, the COV, INSET, V2010 ISU, RCMP, VPD, and
not to mention the CAF. That’s not code. That’s the International
Olympic Committee, Vancouver Organizing Committee, and
22 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
City of Vancouver working with the Integrated National Security
Enforcement Team and the Vancouver 2010 Integrated Security
Unit, which consists of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, the
Vancouver Police Department, and the Canadian Armed Forces.
Sounds like some party. But it’s OK. You’re not invited.
The main message: Welcome to Vancouver – unless you live here.
Thanks for letting us use your place, now please make yourself
scarce and keep your hands off the hors d’ouvres. Like loser
roommates, it feels like we’ve been told to beat it while cooler
company comes over. Our stuff has been shoved aside, our messes
have swept under the carpet, and our dirty laundry chucked into
the closet, effectively eradicating any evidence that someone
actually lives here. Just take a look at Gastown, if you can find it
beneath its squeaky-clean new surface. They even painted Pigeon
Park stark white, as if that’s enough to cover up Van City’s most
conspicuous dirty little secrets. Most of whom, by now, have been
forcibly relocated to less conspicuous locations.
Not just the poor and the homeless are affected by the evergrowing
Olympic menace.
For once, the inconvenience
of reckless progress will
affect us all equally as our
civic rights and civil liberties
are crushed under the heel
of a giant Inukshuk-looking
monster stomping its way
through every community in
the city. Sure there are those
who say they’re at the reigns,
reeling in the rampage. But
it’s hard to know how, since
if they’re doing anything to
maintain responsibility to the
people who live here, they’re
keeping it top secret. From us,
anyway. The powers that be
seem to deem it necessary to
operate on a need to know
basis, but to them that means
we basically don’t need to
know anything at all. It’s just
easier that way, but that’s OK
since they’re doing it all for us
anyway. Aren’t they?
While the five-eyed
megolympic monstrosity
distracts us with its five-ring
circus, the anagram army is
perpetrating its plans to keep
us - the pesky inhabitants
of their perfect Olympic
backdrop – out of sight and
under control. Random road
closures, massive shifts in traffic patterns, and sweeping changes
to transit services are all executed with minimal announcement
to keep us guessing. No-go zones and ‘protest pens’ are
simultaneously confirmed and denied by different branches of the
same agencies. Bylaws have been written and rewritten, becoming
vaguer, more arbitrary, and more powerful with each draft. The
Vancouver Charter itself has been altered by permission of the
same federal government that’s ignoring IOC policies that violate
the Canadian Charter of Rights. Police have more powers than ever
before, and there are more police in Terminal City than ever before.
The 1300 strong VPD and the RCMP E Division assigned to the area
have been combined with imported law enforcement officers and
paramilitary personnel to form the V2010 ISU, bolstering the private
VANOC army by another 1700 soldiers. That’s 3000, before you start
counting the thousands of Private Security Professionals. Sweeping
legislation has transformed the Private Security industry, issuing
security licenses to private citizens across the province and granting
them more authority than ever before. Under the ‘need to know’
policy mentioned above, nobody will disclose how much money
has been spent on these measures, or the price tag for the 1000+
surveillance cameras being installed throughout downtown. But
don’t worry. It’s all for your protection. And who knows… like the
cameras, if the private armies and panoptical politics really do the
job, maybe we’ll get to keep them when the games are done.
All these extra measures will come in handy enforcing the Host-City
criteria laid out by the IOC during the games, like the banning of
anti-Olympic slogans - and sentiments - or any logos, images, or
messages that infringe upon the corporate sponsor’s complete
saturation of the Olympic corridor. It’s not enough that you can be
arrested, fined up to $10,000, and imprisoned for six months for
wearing a Riot 2010 T-shirt, but technically it’s just as illegal to drink
a Pepsi in public or flash your Mastercard. Companies like Coke and
Visa paid big bucks to secure exclusive contracts, and where do you
think the money for the security budget came from?
So we’re not invited to our own party. We’re not even allowed to
know what it’s all about. We’ll be okay as long as we steer clear of
the monstrosity it’s become, and toe the line for the powers that be
and their private TV screens. We’re told we’ll be able to get wherever
we want to go, but not how. We’re told that we’re allowed to express
ourselves, just not now. We can do anything we want as long as
we want what they allow. So the only way to survive, it seems, is
to simply take a bow. Stay home on the couch, spark one up, and
watch the whole thing unfold on TV. Or better yet:
“Turn off the TV just for a while, let us whisper to each other instead
And we’ll hope that the Corporate ears do not listen
Lest we find ourselves committing some kind of treason
And filed in the tapes without rhyme, without reason
While they tell us that it’s all for our own protection,
I swear we never asked for any of this”
(-New Model Army, “225”)

DO YOU BELIEVE?
DO YOU BELIEVE?
WELL I CERTAINLY DO BELIEVE THAT
VANCOUVERITES WILL BE SO SICK OF THAT CTV
SLUNG SAYING EVERYTIME YOU SEE OR HEAR
ANYTHING TO DO WITH THESE GAMES THAT THE
GENERAL ATMOSPHERE OF NEGATIVITY WILL
REIGN DOWN LIKE SHITWATER ON THE ATHLETES
…
DO YOU BELIEVE THE OLYMPICS IS ABOUT
SPORTS ANYMORE?
YOU’D CERTAINLY ASSUME IT WAS ABOUT
MONEY….A MILLION HERE.. A BILLION
THERE….THE RESENTMENT WEIGHS HEAVY
ON THE COMMON MAN….MAKES YOUR
MEAGRE EXISTENCE SEEM SO FRAUGHT WITH
HELPLESS APATHY….YOUR OPPOSITION TO
THE MAGNITUDE OF THE CORPORATE GREED
FALLS ON DEAF EARS….THE COMMON SERFS
RESIGNATION TO BE SWALLOWED UP BY THE
CORPORATE PARTNERED POLITICIANS SWOLLEN
EGOS….I GUESS THEY CAN SPIN IT WITH THEIR
MEDIA PARTNERS TO BE PROUD ENOUGH FOR
ALL OF US…..
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT WE CARE ABOUT AN
UNAFFORDABLE ELITE PARTY?
I’M SURE THE GREEK GODS ARE SHAKING
THEIR HEADS WHEN CONTRADICTORY
UNHEALTY CORPORATIONS ARE THE MAIN
FOOD SPONSORS OF THE OLYMPICS….
ATHLETES SLOGGING THROUGH FAT LADEN EGG
MUFFINS GRINNING FROM EAR TO EAR….IS THE
GOVERNMENT OF CANADA REDESIGNING THE
FOUR FOOD GROUP MODEL WITH PICTURES OF
BIG MACS?....HOW DOES THE INTERNATIONAL
OLYMPIC COMMITTEE ALLOW THIS HYPOCRISY?
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT WORLD CLASS
ATHLETES EAT AT MCDONALDS?
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY OR SUPPORT
GROUPS THAT DO OR IN ANYWAY POSE AN
ORGANIZATIONAL THREAT THAT OPPOSES
VANOC’S STANCE ON THE PROPOSED MOOD
OF VANCOUVER…DELETED…..WE CERTAINLY
CAN’T HAVE AN ACTIVE GATHERING PLACE…..
CURIOUSLY IT’S AS THOUGH ALL LANDLORDS
WERE DISPATCHED TO EVICT THE ANTI2010ERS
SIMULTANEOUSLY…AND IN THE COBALTS
CASE HAND THE PLACE OVER TO THE HIGHLY
DESIRABLE AND OLYMPICLY ACCEPTABLE
HIPSTER YUPPIES…
DO YOU BELIEVE ACTIVISTS, PUNKS AND
METALHEADS ARE WELCOME IN OUR OWN
CITY ?
….WHAT ABOUT THE HOMELESS PEOPLE
BEING SCUTTLED INTO THE TEMPORARY
SHELTERS OF OUR WHITEWASHED GENTRIFIED
CITY COURTESY OF THE NEW BYLAWS MADE
JUST FOR THE OLYMPICS?…..CERTAINLY ISN’T
THE INCLEMENT WEATHER THAT JUSTIFIES
THE STREETSWEEPING OF THE UNSIGHTLY
HOMELESS…..I’M SURE THERE IS ANOTHER
PLAN TO GATHER UP ALL THE JUNKIES WITH
JAYWALKING WARRANTS….IS THERE GOING TO
BE A RASH OF DOPE DEALER AND USER ARRESTS
RIGHT QUICK SO THAT THOSE UNDESIRABLES
ARE OUT OF SIGHT ALSO….AND OUT OF SIGHT
THEY WOULD BE SINCE ALL COURT FUNCTIONS
ARE SUSPENDED DURING THE OLYMPICS…
HOW ABOUT THE THIEVES….CAN YOU SAY
REMANDED?….
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS SMELLS A BIT LIKE
MARTIAL LAW?
NOW WHILE I WISH ALL THE ATHLETES THE BEST
AND CONGRATS ON ACHIEVING THEIR OLYMPIC
COMPETITION DREAMS WHILE GOBBLING THEIR
QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESES….. I HAVE
TO WONDER WHERE IT LEAVES THE VANCOUVER
COMMONER….I KNOW I FOR ONE WILL BE
LOCKED UP TIGHT IN MY HOUSE AVOIDING
ALL SORTS OF CONSIGNMENT ‘AUTHORITIES’
THAT WILL BE STRANGLING THE CITY….STOCK
UP…HUNKER DOWN AND ENJOY FOLKS….
ANOTHER MONTH TO GO UNTIL WE CAN START
REBUILDING ALL THE CULTURE THAT HAS
SLOWLY BEEN STRIPPED AWAY….
DO YOU BELIEVE?
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read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 23

Gorgoroth and Infernus
are reborn in hate
By Ira Hunter and Erik Lindholm
Evil power and controversy have surrounded
Infernus and the Gorgoroth since their harrowed
start in Norway in 1992. Most recently, two
hired members broke away from the original
Gorgoroth, and claiming rights to perform the
material, toured extensively. In one of the stranger
Norwegian copyright law cases on record, the
breakaway band, led by Gaahl and King, lost the
name and performance rights and were forced
into restitution payments and to change their
name into God Seed. From northern Norway,
black metal luminary and originator Infernus tells
us of his trials and his way forward with a new
album.
AU: How long did the court
process take on the band
name, were you happy with
the decision?
Infernus: It took a very long time
to get the lawyers, and get the
issue in front of the courts. Once
we went to court – it was the
28th of January and the verdict
was made clear and public
about five weeks later. I am very
happy. Not surprised at all.
AU: Before you started the
band, you made a pact with
the devil. Can you tell me
about your beliefs regarding
Satanism?
Infernus: Basically it goes with
all of my views on life. I have
been a Satanist as long as I can
remember. For me Satanists
represent a striving for complete
goodness and freedom, this
is something I bring into all
aspects of life, not just the
musical aspect of being a
songwriting and composer.
AU: What was your feeling
on the church burnings on
Norway?
Infernus: It was great. There were many and there
should have been more.
AU: It was a purging of a religion that took
over the existing Norse religion. Many people
were not supportive of Christianity.
Infernus: Thinking about it in that perspective,
yes. But as I see it, Christianity represents a
spiritual test – something that is hindering or
blocking someone with an upstanding character,
something standing in their way and that is to be
removed. It is the ideology and religious system
which is based on worshiping bureaucracy.
Something which hates and fears everything that
has true colors, everything which is strong and
good.
24 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
AU: What caused the last rift with Gaahl and
King and why did they continue on using
the same name? Last year the Gaahl version
of Gorgoroth played Wacken, and they
were making money off the name and the
controversy you built.
Infernus: That is their problem of explanation.
Why not “x”? It would seem as if they could not
choose not to. But anyway, whatever reasons
behind the conflict, whatever reasons they come
up with, it is irrelevant. It’s my way or the highway.
If they were not happy with working with me,
they should have gone and started their own
bands. They did not, therefore they were sued
and had to pay what to be coming. They used the
name and it was illegal. So therefore they were
not authentic when they performed at Wacken.
Why they did it, can be their issue to explain. I
heard a lot of hopeless legitimization about it. For
me, they are ex-members and they have been exmembers
for long time. I’m now removing them
in the terms of law, and then I’m looking forward
to the future. They are what they are, ex-members.
AU: So do you have new members and full
band ready, as I know you have album coming
out?
Infernus: I had a new drummer and bass player
within the week we terminated our old lineup in
October 2007. I had a phone call from Frank from
Obituary and Tomas from Dissection in the band.
And now I have two other guys which I’ve been
working with before in the 90’s in Gorgoroth,
Tormentor and Pest. We have been working on
the new record for about a year now in Tomas’
studio Monolith in Stockholm. We are looking for
an October release.
AU: Who do you think are the actual true black
metal bands which exist today?
Infernus: I don’t know and I do not care. I don’t
listen to black metal today. I listen to the same old
stuff I have been listening to through the years.
The people representing themselves as black
metal today, they do not know much about it.
AU: The one show in Poland in 2004 where
they stole your camera and footage, what kind
of imagery were they worried about at that
show?
Infernus: I don’t know what was so bad about
it myself. It was so hyped up and motivated by
greed and economy. It some laborer, someone
who worked for us, who brought the media and
claimed that we had desecrated their whole
religious feelings. Now, the DVD is released now,
and anyone who wants can see it and have their
opinions. I don’t understand the fuss.
AU: Can you tell me about your philosophy and
the divisions within Satanism? I have read that
you do not support the American church of
Satan’s outlook.
Infernus: Satan as I see it is a humanistic
approach to the concept of Satan and Satanism.
I have belief in God, I have a chaos-gnostic
understanding of being, so there is fundamental
issues which I disagree upon in terms of the basic
doctrines of the church of Satan.
AU: I’ve been to Norway once, but could not
find any black metal shows. Where do the
bands play in Norway?
Infernus: I don’t know because I am not the most
social person. I sit at home and rehearse. I do not
want to meet people and sit in a pub and talk
about metal. If I am to go to a show, it is for a
big event, such as seeing Yngwie Malmsteen or
something like that.
AU: Do your neighbours fear you?
Infernus: I don’t think so.
AU: I live in Victoria, Canada, we have the
famous cemetery it is supposed to be the
Satanic capital of Canada. Do you plan to
come?
Infernus: I would love to come, but I cannot
promise anything. We are working now getting
back touring, we had to build the band up from
the bottom again. Our intention is to be touring
again, and we have strict demands. We are hard to
negotiate with as we don’t compromise. We hope
to be touring this summer, but whether we are
coming to Canada, I cannot promise.
AU: Last words for Canadian Satanists?
Infernus: Thanks for your attention and I hope
you’ve not waited so long. We are happy to
release the new album, hopefully in October. I
hope you will be satisfied.

Blast from the Past
I was 18 and I
loved it…
By R. Harrison
Some people might argue that
I still am. Be that as it may, I
was an Alice
Cooper fan on
or just near
my eighteenth
birthday and
I still am. You
can imagine my
dismay and utter
disappointment
when I learned
that the Cooper
Concert at Ivor
Wynn Stadium
was sold out
before I even
heard about
it. Not to be
deterred we
headed into
Hamilton
anyway; hoping
for a miracle, or at
least a scalper.
The tickets were
gold—you could
not get inside
the Home of the
Ticats for love
or money. Alice
was promising
in the press that
he would hang
himself on stage
that night—it
was not to be
missed. There
was a sizable
mob milling
about the big
green plank fence
that corralled
the Sports Field
at the back end.
A ringleader
made himself
known and he
was encouraging
all of us to join
him—together,
if we were to put
our collective
shoulders into it, we can push
the fence over and get in.
That’s just what happened and
after rocking the fence back
and forth several times a post
or two snapped and the one
section of green fence before
us fell inward. There was one
lonely security guard in place
and he sorta hunched over like
a linebacker with his hands
stretched outwards and he
rocked back-and-forth from one
foot to the other like he was
about to blitz the quarterback.
After a pregnant pause, the
ringleader who had been
calling the play up to now
stepped forward and after
waving his arm like a sword
he cried “Charge!”—and we
did. Dozens of us poured in
over the broken fence and to
my knowledge it was only the
quarterback that got sacked on
the way in. Too bad really, cuz
his plan was otherwise flawless.
We dispersed among the crowd
gathered nearer the stage at
the opposite end of the field.
Eventually I worked my way up
very close to the stage front and
I could have reached up and
touched old Alice at one point
I was so close. Too close, and
at some point I realized I was
in great peril—I no longer had
control of my feet and yet I was
moving ever closer to the stage
wall, the riotous crowd pressing
forward and jostling me;
pressing me, against
the stage and others.
So bad was the crush,
that I was having
trouble breathing.
In a futile effort to
control the crowd,
shortly after he had
bitten the head off a
chicken, Alice pulled
the plug on the show
and he and the band
ran off the stage.
It didn’t help—the
full press continued
and in an attempt to
survive I fought my
way to the ground
and found myself
facing a sea of legs
on hands and knees,
but at least I was still
breathing. Someone
had taken control
of the mike and he
was pleading for
calm—the show
could only continue
if the crowd would
move back—way
back from the stage.
They kept pressing
ahead and I had taken
to pounding on feet
to try and work my
way to the relative
safety of the sidelines.
I don’t think I bit
any ankles but I do
remember picking
up a Popsicle stick
and using it to stab
at uncooperative feet
in an attempt to free
myself by tunneling
to freedom.
I didn’t think
Hamilton had it in
them, but to their
credit they eventually
complied and the
crowd backed away from the
stage front. In the true spirit of
a showman—Alice returned
to the stage after a very long
intermission and he finished the
show. The grand finale, as billed,
did not fail to thrill and the
great mascara-ed one hanged
himself in his leathers, right
there on stage as promised! I
saw the rest of the show from
the back—way back.
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 25

Legendary uK punks
GBH Take the Piss
By Chris Walter
Colin Abrahall of GBH is 105 years old now.
The singer easily remembers when Sid Vicious
was just a little baby, crawling around the floor
gnawing on dirty needles and blackened spoons.
In fact, GBH axeman Ross Lomas showed Johnny
Ramone how to play guitar, and Jocko, who plays
bass, wrote “Blitzkrieg Bop” on the shitter when
he was just seven years old and gave it Joey.
After 914 tours and 142 albums, it is safe to say
that GBH has been around for a while. Yes, GBH
were punks before you were a punk, and they are
waaaaaaaaaay more punk than you will ever be.
Deal with it.
But seriously, GBH have been around for a long
time. The seminal UK punk act formed in 1978,
and though many of their contemporaries broke
up and didn’t get back together until Green Day
and The Offspring made punk rock commercially
viable, GBH has been going strong the entire
time. Although several members took a few
days off and were replaced by new guys, the
original players have all been back for ages; even
the drummer Scott has been with the band for
sixteen years. Granted, the space between albums
went from two years to four years starting in the
early 90s, but even then, the persistence and
longevity of the band is remarkable. Even if the
boys merely wanted to avoid taking real jobs,
they should be commended for sticking to their
guns and staying true to their roots. Of course,
none of that would make the slightest bit of
difference if GBH made crappy records and played
lousy songs, but they don’t, so give them a hand.
Or maybe a beer.
For an angst-ridden and aggressive punk rock
singer, Colin is surprisingly soft spoken. He talks
about the new record, and how the inspiration for
the song which the record is named after came
from their drummer Scott, who returned from
the washroom on an airplane and reported that
it “smelled like perfume and piss in there.” Colin
jotted down the words, and GBH had a name for
the new album, their first in four years. Luckily,
Perfume and Piss is well worth the wait, and the
26 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
songs are as fiery
as ever. From the
opening track
“Unique” to the
closer “Time Flies,”
everything is as
it should be on a
GBH album, with
Colin’s raspy voice
and Ross’s stun
guitar turned up
loud n’ nasty. The
hooks are good, the
arrangements tight,
and the delivery
furious. GBH do
not have to look for
work in the food
industry quite yet.
Despite the fact
that it takes GBH
four years to make
each album these
days, Colin says he
writes lyrics all the
time. “Sometimes
it takes a while
and you have to
work a bit, but
they all get there
in the end.” Even if
the drummer has
to take a piss on
an airplane to get
the creative juices
flowing.
GBH were last in
British Columbia
with Warped Tour
in 2008, but when
they return this
summer they will
be playing a regular
venue. Mostly, they
tour Europe, where
Colin reports that
punk has been on
another upswing in recent years. “We can’t even
make all the engagements we’re offered,” he says,
sounding both pleased and slightly surprised. “It’s
great everywhere.”
With Perfume and Piss coming out on Hellcat
Records sometime this spring, GBH will return
to British Columbia, but this time they will be
playing a regular venue, not Warped Tour, which
no longer stops in Vancouver. Colin won’t admit
that they are having problems keeping up to
the young punks. “We still party just as hard as
we used to––but not for as long,” the frontman
confesses. Good bloody thing, too.
Anyone who wishes to see what the old dogs
can do these days should keep their eyes open
for upcoming news. They might even take a
page from Gymbo Jak and splatter the band with
spaghetti sauce as they play. Just make sure to
bring Colin a bottle of Jack later.

“Handsome Men in
Fancy Blouses”
By Emily Kendy
(Band photo by Mark Cuzzetto Bonito. Photos of
Billy Hopeless by Darren Lulka)
Billy Hopeless hops off his long board and
waltzes into Castle Hopeless to sit down at his
computer for this interview. An interview that
was supposed to be face to face but due to some
Dumb and Dumber directions and navigating to
the designated meet-up spot, by interviewee and
interviewer (respectively) this option fell apart
faster than a plan on a Sunday. Hopeless, now
seated at his computer, looks up and ponders
the first interview question. He can see the cast
iron waffle iron his grandfather brought back
from WWII, in Germany. It says, “Ve Get Too Soon
Old Und Too Late Smart.” He reminds himself to
get Dustin to tattoo this on his body. Speaking
of his body, he takes a moment to slip into
somesthing more comfortable and dons a black
and white satin Kung Fu outfit. After the interview
he will practice his forms for his next Shaolin
King Fu Lesson. It’s just another day in the life of
Vancouver’s most notorious rock monster.
AU: Doesn’t Bonitos mean “girls”, in Spanish?
Billy Hopeless: No my Bonita, we’re the Bonitos,
which means handsome men if you can get
past the fancy blouses, tight pants,
eyeliner, nail polish and panty-like
undergarments. Under all of it you’ll
find five of the hardest rocking
Canadian dicks.
AU: Tell me about the band. What do
you sound like?
Hopeless: We play both kinds of music:
punk and rock! To me it sounds like
what the Black Halos originally was
formed to create and destroy. I’m still
in love with the stuff and ain’t never
cared if raw, un-neutered animalistic
forbidden sex is in fashion or not. To
mine own heart I’m true.
AU: Describe the band members for
me.
Hopeless: Well it’s kinda like the movie
The Magnificent Seven but we only need five, see.
I was doing these punk cover/tribute things and
the bassist Kato and me started talking about
writing originals – as having people tell you you’re
band’s got the best songs is kinda weird when
they ain’t yours. And the guy’s got a vocal talent
like Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys (he snores
in harmony with me) plus he’s got the same name
as the Green Hornet’s side-kick so he was my
second finger. Next I called up Pinto (ex Saddle
Sores, Crystal Pistol). Even though I didn’t really
play nicely with either of his past bands, I always
thought he was a really cool guy and reminded
me of a Dolls’ Johnny Thunders-type on stage,
and then there was three. Which brings us to the
middle finger or as the new elementary school
kids call him Tall Man, but we call him Chris Taco
Bonito (ex Calgary’s The Daggers). A balls to the
Walmart guitarist, whom I won from a drunken
and flirtatious friend of mine Adam Payne, in a
naked lazer tag match. Finally, in The Back of The
Bus we got Mark Cuzzetto Bonito on drums who
I’ve known since high school and grabbed after
he went starry from his position as the Cat Man in
Black Diamond, the official Kiss tribute band. He
is currently driving an uber rock and roll party bus
for a living.
AU: Did you ever consider retirement after the
Black Halos?
Hopeless: To quote the late – but still great – Duke
Ellington, “Retirement wouldn’t look good on me.”
When the Halos broke up again it was like a great
load, dump or however you want to say it that
was taken off of me. Like a dog that just broke
the leash it was natural to start sniffing around,
running hard chasing and wagging my tail and
humping my masters leg.
AU: There’s no Cobalt anymore. Are there any
good venues left? It seems like punk is getting
squashed by condos.
Hopeless: Well this group of Warriors has just
started bopping around town so The Bonitos
didn’t get to play the Cobalt, but I think The
Rickshaw Theatre – where well be playing on the
13th of February is the coolest live underground
venue the city has had in ages. It’s an old Chinese
movie theatre. I used to go see martial arts
movies at as a kid. It’s now open as for both all
ages and bar shows. The shows must go on!!!
It’s up to everyone to keep a scene alive. In My
opinion as a non-profit prophet the first step is to
stop segregating ourselves and dancing chic to
chic and clique to clique and start just partying
together. WHAT IS THIS LITTLE SO CALLED SCENE?
YOUR SCENE, MY SCENE… IT COULD BE OUR
SCENE!!! CAN YOU DIG ITTTTT????!!!!
AU: Speaking of scenes, the Olympics are
around the corner. If your band could compete
in an event together, what would it be?
Hopeless: As down hill bobsledding is my
personal fave, I’ll choose it as my metaphor. You
got five individuals working as a team and trying
to reach the bottom as fast as they can. Hugging
the curves, holdin’ each other and tucking in
tight… risking breaking their necks if the thing
flips over.
AU: That doesn’t sound gay at all.
Hopeless: There’s nothing gay about UFC. Two
muscle bound gladiators bashing heads until
one has pinned the other’s back to ther floor
by straddling the others neck with his crotch
in his face. I mean Robin Black (remember the
Intergallactic Rock Stars ) is even doing it, and he’s
a hairdresser. How ungay is that .
AU: I read in an older interview with you that
you have a lot of scars. How many do you
have?
Hopeless: Yeah, that’s what happens when you
have a wild passionate relationship with a bitch
Goddess called rock and roll. As for how many I
don’t know, but let’s just say the answer is truly
written in the scars.
AU: What inspires you to write songs, besides
your scars?
Hopeless: I can’t explain the magic if I tried,
although the Shaolin teach that there is a energy
inside us all that can be found in the lower
abdomen, and if harnessed can give us incredible
strength – to the point of even breaking bricks
with youre bare hands. I believe that the same
energy can be channeled into music. We’re
smashing through your stone cold concrete of
what has become known as rock.
AU: If you were the old cowboy in City Slickers
what would you say is the secret to life?
Hopeless: I’d simply look at Billy Crystal and say,
“There is no choice of deal or no deal. It’s simply
life, deal with it!”
AU: What does your band have planned for
2010?
Hopeless: We’re going to get our music out in
every way and to everyone we can. We’re having
a war party against boredom and everyone’s
invited! We’re going to pick up the dead beat and
wake yer feet ‘cause to me they fell asleep! We’re
going to bring the nightlife back to life and like
a roller coaster ride you can either jump in smile
and scream on a wild ride, or you can just be one
of those people standing at the fence acting like
you’re having a good time.
(Myspace.com/thebonitos. Make sure to check
out the Bonitos at the Frankenstein Valentine
Cabaret, February 13th, at the Rickshaw Theatre,
254 East Hastings St, Vancouver. Other bands
on the bill include the Keg Killers and Vancouver
Killing Spree. There’ll also be Burlesque girls, with
B-Movies playing on the big screen. On Feb. 27
the Bonitos will be in Victoria at Logan’s Pub for
AbsoluteUnderground.TV, with the Keg Killers and
Class of 1984.)
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 27

28 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv

Marsha Ellen Meidow
rest in peace
Early in 2010, Absolute Underground lost one of our
own. Marsha was an avid supporter of Absolute
Underground, featured for her Femme Fatale
shows in Calgary, she contribued each year to our
end of the year “Best of” articles and her husband,
Calgary artist Tank Standing Buffalo has been
featured in our artist profile, and was the artist of
our Evil Dead the Musical cover last April.
Our thoughts are with Tank and Marsha’s family.
Marsha Ellen Meidow. For so many, those three
names evoke so
much joy, love and
empowerment.
From her
counselling at
the YWCA’s Safe
Haven Program,
organizing the
Vagina Monolgues
and producing the
Annual Femme
Fatale Carnivals
Marsha provided
hope, opportunity
and environments for women, from all walks of
life, where they could feel safe yet frolic in the the
innocence of their youth, find their inner voice,
surpass their goals and attain enlightenment. And,
1710 Government Street
Victoria, BC, Canada
250·590·5379
oldetymejerrys.com
let's not forget, they also were fortunate to have
shared their journey with Marsha Ellen Meidow.
Marsha wasn’t just a member of a community.
She was known to all as a member of the
Performing Arts Community, the Rockabilly
Community, The Artist Community, the Volunteer
Community, the Rock Band Community, the Circus
Community, the Underground Community...
needless to say if it was out there, SHE was in
there standing proudly alongside her man,
Tank Standing Buffalo. Recognized by Mayor
Bronconier and her peers, Marsha received the
YWCA's Humanitarian Award. She shared so
much, and reached so many that the news of her
death ripples over our oceans.
Marsha's legacy is that she continues to help
others here on Earth. Marsha chose organ
donation. Her mother and father, Beverly Jean
Meidow and Alfred Meidow, shepherded Marsha
through her greatest gift finding solace in the
impact of their daughter's wish. Her organs
have gone
on to help so
many people.
According to
the Alberta
Health Services
HOPE Program,
Marsha’s gift
will go on to
help 50 to 75
people.
Her friends and
family want to reiterate the epic impact organ
donation can and does have.
Marsha assisted an infinite number of women
and young girls dedicating her life to ending
violence toward women. She will be missed
but not forgotten. A paypal account is currently
accepting donations (see Facebook: In Memory
of Marsha Ellen Meidow) and her friends
intend to continue her goodwill and love of
entertainment with the creation of The Marsha
Ellen Meidow Foundation.
- Jade Cooper
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At the Buffet...
PURPLE
GARDEN
Glen Says:
Judging from the décor it’s well known
this was a Mexican karaoke bar at
some point.
We got
seated and
hit it. Now
don’t get
me wrong,
they’re
putting in a
good effort
but I’ve
been here
three times
and that’s
probably it for me. Flat pop and really
greasy food; I’ve never tasted grease
like that in my long buffet career.
And no one else I was with seemed
to notice. They seemed to have
lost all their pro tongs and spoons
somewhere along the line and decided
to replace them with some brought
from home, flimsy plastic numbers.
That doesn’t fly with me. Well what
can I say, I did get full and had no after
effects so I’ll give ‘em that n’ that’s all!
Shape up or ship out!
Service 2: You sit me take Money
Cleanliness 4: it was clean looking
Quality 3: looked good but
greasy
Affordability: 2 need to class it up for
a $14 dinner
Purple Garden Three strikes and you
are out, any less and I would have run
away.
I hope it turns out better next time at
the buffet
Ty Says:
While Glen thought that it
was very Mexican looking, I
thought the Purple Garden
had a very distinct “Greek
Tavnera” type of vibe. There
is little caves and nooks
everywhere! But who cares
about the ambiance, right?
What about the food man?!
Well, I liked it a bit more
than Bitters, but not much.
The won-ton soup sucked
and that’s a big negative
from me
right off
the bat.
The one
big bonus
was the
tray full
of BBQ
Pork. My
favorite!
Other
than that
it’s all
pretty
forgettable... Oh wait. I liked the
vannila, chocolate and strawberry
hard ice cream bar too. With places
like Crystal Jade and the renovated
Szechuan City on Burnside, I think I’ll
pass on the Purple Garden.
Service: 1 (I stood around waiting to
get in and to pay)
Cleanliness: 4
Quality: 3
Affordability: 2
The Garden is OUT!

Absolute Live Reviews Send us your Live Reviews by Email admin@absoluteunderground.ca
Electric Wizard
September 7 The Scala, London
England
Admist Saint Vitus shirts and
chainsmokers, stacks of cheap lager
cans, we wandered into The Scala
half cut, missing Blood Ceremony
completely. No matter, we were right
at the start. In the packed sweaty
club, Wizard brought monolithic
walls of filthy fuzz; unabated bonebreaking
doom metal. Praising
deeply at the altar of Sabbath,
the analog dimensions are pulled
apart and with screaming feeback
rebuilt on “Funeralopolis” and the
disgustingly heavy “We Hate You”.
The heavy flanger and wah usage,
alongside the downtuned, pointed
drum sound led to a riotous reaction
from the crowd, heads banging
relentlessly under strobes and green
stage lights. A new album is soon
forthcoming... fanatics rejoice under
regal banners.
Erik Lindholm
Municipal Waste/DFA/Cauldron/
Kabuki Guns Burlesque
November 30 The Warehouse,
Calgary AB
Amongst the headband wearing
thrash punks that stood around
the Warehouse waiting for any
semblance of entertainment to
begin onstage, a latex maid poked
her head around the corner of the
backstage area. Municipal Waste
– good choice in groupie sluts!
Around twenty minutes later, she
was onstage – whoops! That’s right:
the opening slot for this show was,
oddly, the Kabuki Guns burlesque.
“Are you ready for some death metal
tonight?” asked one of the scantily
clad performers to the not-drunkenough-for-burlesque
audience.
When an assortment of boos and
“Municipal Waste is gonna fuck
you up” chants came as a reply,
the onstage cutie then asked, “It is
death metal tonight, right?” Doh!
Cauldron was the first official band
of the night, who played a stoner
rock set which failed to tantalize any
more than the bent over Kabukis.
Sadly enough, their sound probably
translated better live than on CD.
DFA, Canada’s version of MW, sped
through their set like a naked man
running from a security guard. Life
imitated this review, as a naked man
danced about onstage and helped
sing a song. Security didn’t care. The
Jagerettes arrived and handed out
free shots. Could they please be at
every show? Municipal Waste, finally
getting a chance to give a full set
to Calgarians (playing barely half
an hour at this year’s Lamb of God
outing) had circle pits going all night
as they played some “death metal”
songs to the hungry, and now drunk,
thrashheads. They thumbed through
all of their releases, with much
emphasis on The Art of Partying,
playing “Beer Pressure”, “Headbanger
Face Rip”, and “Sadistic Magician”.
The pace refused to die down, with
each speed metal number fueling
(with the help of armpit sweat)
the leather and denim bonfire of
humanity. As the cliché goes – The
Warehouse was laid to WASTE.
Ryan Dyer
GWAR/Job For A Cowboy
November 30 The Commodore
Ballroom, Vancouver BC
So no Red Chord opening,
apparently their trailer broke down?
Would be nice to go to a show
where all the bands show up. Job for
a Cowboy started 1hr45 after doors.
Was not expecting much from these
guys, and didn’t get much either.
Maybe you like boring south west
metal core, but I don’t. Nice light
show at least. GWAR took awhile to
start due to the long line to get their
autograph for $20. Way too much
bass made it hard to hear vocals
or guitar. I moved around a lot and
sound didn’t change. However,
tons of fluids as expected. Played
a lot of new album Lust in Space
(which I like). Michael Jackson, Space
Baby, and Barrack Obama showed
up briefly before being mutilated
on stage. Obviously great job on
the tons of costumes and props.
Background videos were very funny
and geeky at times. Hadn’t seen
eight foot tall monsters since Iron
Maiden in 2008. Sad really. Lots of
theatrics that were appreciated,
but setup between songs felt a bit
rushed.. maybe too much trying to
match with video. Plasma Cannon
personal favourite, spraying the
crazy amounts of jocks in the pit.
‘Sick of You’ and ‘Have you Seen Me’
were the high points. Overall good
show, and if you missed you can
count on GWAR being back next
November!
David Warren
GWAR/Job For A Cowboy/ The Red
Chord
December 3 Macewan Hall,
Calgary AB
Openers The Red Chord played their
first show in Canada for this tour,
and it came with a message – “If I
were Canadian, I would have myself
ripped apart routinely, so that the
hospital could just put me back
together.” With this, bodies were
mashed like potatoes, and a rarely
seen wall of death made complete
strangers get to know each other
more quickly than E tards at a gay
bath house. Job for a Cowboy
returned with beards and muscular
frames, which sort of reflected
their somewhat more masculine
(though monotonous) change in
musical style. When “Entombment
of a Machine” was played from their
Doom EP, only the hogs in the crowd
were heard squealing. These hogs
still brought the slaughter. When I
reviewed the GWAR show last year,
I stated that it was, in my opinion,
the best GWAR show I had ever
seen: it had wrestling, the return
of Sleazy P. Martini, and enough
throwback/vintage props/songs to
satisfy any GWAR fan interested in
experiencing their entire mythology
in one concert. I still stand by that
claim as unfortunately, the Lust in
Space tour felt like a step down from
that. I am a fan of the album and
the concept of GWAR soon leaving
Earth, but this concert felt like
somewhat of a rehash from the last
few. Nearly the whole new album
was played, leaving nearly no room
for classics besides “Sick of You”, “The
Salaminizer” and “Bring Back the
Bomb”. The notable “kills”, Obama
and Michael Jackson, were used
previously as well. But hell, this was
GWAR live, once again, and if you’ve
never experienced it – you would be
shocked to find your face was just
jizzed all over. One high point in low
taste was - instead of a dead dog,
a space baby was impaled through
its ass. Better a sword than Michael
Jackson’s prosthetic cock.
Ass Musk in Space
ANTI CHRIST MASS VI
Rise of Ruin/Funeral Circle/
Stryker/Merciless Onslaught
December 18The Asbalt (Astoria),
Vancouver BC
Odd to be in the Astoria again. Much
cleaner and only one stage. No real
lighting for some reason. Sound
could be better but Jon the Sound
Guy did his best. Not sure if they
were waiting for the Canucks game
to finish, but Merciless Onslaught
got it going late with some youthful
thrashy power chords, and some
effects heavy shredding. They are
doing it all right, but gotta make
it personal. Lots and lots of covers.
Stryker took us back to early 80’s
just to show us they were awesome.
Very light hearted but way better
than Cam’s last band! There are
plenty of other bands like them,
but can’t think of many in B.C. Lots
of covers too but welcome ones!
Sure they were a little sloppy, but
put their own spin on things. Some
guest vocals from Funeral Circle,
who were on next. This was their CD
release and first show in awhile, so
lots of excitement for sure. Singer
was sans his usual cloak, but hadn’t
lost the great voice. Truly great
drumming too! Not sure if I’d still call
them ‘doom’, but they are definitely
awesome. ‘When I say hail you say
Satan’ is still a wonderful way to
get the crowd going, which it did.
Amazing set. Rise of Ruin are fairly
black even if they don’t think so.
They were going so hard you could
feel the floor bumping below you,
so yes, very heavy. Unfortunately
the show went pretty late and I had
to catch the last skytrain so I didn’t
get to catch their whole set, but
from what I saw I liked. Good local
blackened death style, which was
the band that best suited the theme
for the night. Hope to see more
shows like this at the Astoria (Asbalt
for the night), as it’s pretty much the
closest we’ll get to the good Cobalt
days (for now).
David Warren
AFI, Cage the Elephant, Melissa
auf der Maur (MAdM)
December 19 Macewan Hall,
Calgary, AB
Arriving to the Big Four Building
only familiar with AFI’s material,
and Cage the Elephants radio hit
“Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” I
wasn’t really sure what I was in store
for, considering AFI’s direction
away from punk. First to stage was
Montreal’s Melissa auf der Maur or
MAdM. She came to stage ripping
on a bass. This girl certainly knows
how to put together a set, building
up towards her song, “Followed a
Wave”. To top it off she can actually
sing well live. Up next was Cage the
Elephant, who I was unprepared for.
The singer, Mathew Shultz, is insane.
Drums count in, and for the entire
set he is convulsing, in time, like a
small child throwing a fit. Jumping
into the crowd and running around,
he brought excitement to the
fans. His crowd surfing would end
up being the only physical crowd
interaction the Calgary fans would
receive that night. AFI finally took
stage opening with Crash Love’s
“Torch Song”. Davey sported a silver,
old fashioned suit that seemed a
tad like MJ. They played a range of
their material including older songs
such as “Nyquil” and “Wester”. For
the most part their song choice was
off the last three albums. Although
they didn’t approach the crowd, AFI
put on a good performance. I was
surprised that throughout the night
pushing was very minimal and front
row persons only had someone
touching their backs for moments
throughout the entirety of the show.
Overall the bands were good, but
the people were boring.
Lexi Fatale
The Dwarves
December 31 The Distillery,
Calgary AB
6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... the countdown
began. I realized I had forgotten
the real reason we had gathered...
to usher in 2010. Could have been
the four dollar Luckys but I thought
they were counting down the
Dwarves arrival to the stage. Once
the required rendition of Auld Lang
Syne was done, we got to the real
reason I was at the Distillery on
December 31st. Blag and company
hit the stage and immediately
brought the hundreds of revelers
with “Anybody Out There”. Punks,
Metalheads, Skins, and middle aged
Social Workers alike forgot about the
-30 temperatures outside and the
flooded toilets inside as the Dwarves
raced through offerings from Thank
Heavens for Little Girls, Blood Guts
and Pussy, The Dwarves are Young
and Good Looking, et al. The sound
was muddy, the beer was warm, but
the Dwarves New Year’s in Calgary
was one not to be missed. A 45
minute set could easily be one of the
longest shows in their history. No
blood, no violence, no little people,
but one hell of a good time. Blag
led the crowd in a string of stage
diving and surfing, and sing along
choruses. And for dessert we got a
helping of “HeWhoCannotBeNamed”
to close out with “You Gotta Burn”.
Guess even Calgary’s subzero
climate couldn’t keep him clothed
and offstage forever. Then they were
gone and I was left to ponder my
2010 Resolution...quit drinking...
no...quit smoking...no...join a gym...
no...and then I realized what I would
promise to do this year...FEFU!
SWATSON
Black Wizard/ Hugenelk/
Rorschach
January 2 Logan’s Pub, Victoria,
BC
In a dingy bar on a quiet night
in Victoria, a pale kid wearing a
green tie-dyed shirt and brown
jeans steps up to a microphone;
“Hey, we’re Black Wizard,” he says
cracking a nervous smile while
gazing somewhere above the
packed bar. Barely an introduction,
hardly a statement and absolutely
not a precursor to what was about
to unfold. Adam Grant, the band’s
singer and rhythm guitarist then
launched the band into their set
with the crushing opening riff to
“Long Way Home”. The song serves
as an introduction to the band’s
unique sound. The opening riff,
reminiscent of Black Sabbath’s
eponymous song, is eventually
layered with a harmony that would
make Phil Lynott proud. As the song
progresses, Black Wizard takes the
audience on a tour of their twisted
musical landscape, stopping and
starting on a dime. When Grant and
fellow guitarist Johnny DeCoursey
get bored of a riff, they discard it for
a better one, eschewing traditional
song structure and refusing to
stay in one genre for more than
three minutes. Think stoner-doom
meets classic rock, with a strong
rhythm section anchored by the
solid bass playing of Kyle Fee and
the heavy-handed drumming of
Eugin Parkamenko. Black Wizard is a
throw-back, no doubt, but the band
manages to rise above the heap of
stoner metal bands with a strong
stage-show, creative songwriting
and rare chemistry. Hugenelk,
while long on chops, was short on
stage presence and didn’t have
the hooks to match Black Wizard.
While Rorschach was clearly in their
element playing to a home-town
crowd. They delivered an energetic
set worthy of the last spot on the
bill.
Henry Mud
Fallen Decade/Excruciating Pain/
Ancient Obliteration/Makuria
January 10 The Funky
Winkerbeans, Vancouver BC
Funkys appears to have upgraded
the stage and beer since I was
there last, but still poor sound and
lighting. The good turnout however
is suggestive of this becoming
a permanent metal venue for
Vancouver. Makaria’s first show ever,
and was pretty decent. Interesting
compared to the previous nights
opener. A pretty wide range of
styles... which made them a bit
tedious with some over indulgent
guitar playing. Decent at times,
with some good harmony but need
to decide what they’re trying to
be. At least the families made it.
Ancient Obliteration’s first show
in awhile, and first with the new
bass-free setup. I still miss Leslie’s
vocals, but two guitars gives the
illusion of a bigger sound for these
live shows where you wouldn’t hear
the bass half the time anyway. Oh,
and Marcell is still a good drummer.
The drunken jocks who wandered
in seemed to enjoy it, but made it
hard to get in close. Most interesting
band of the night. Excruciating
Pain are fast and fairly catchy. Lots
of energy and headbanging, and
seem to know what they’re doing.
Some solidly written songs that
change things up constantly. Got
the moshes going real good. Fallen
Decade was better than ever before.
First time I’ve really gotten into them
at all: maybe the copious amounts
of booze are required. Either way,
they ended the night in style. Some
pretty scorching and heavy hitting
metal. Can get a little slow in spots
and struggles to sound particularly
unique. However, the last few songs
were very strong with some great
chugging guitars. Surprisingly good
show overall, and hopefully a sign
that metal will continue to thrive in
Vancouver.
David Warren
Devildriver/Suffocation/
Goatwhore/Thy Will Be Done
January 13 The Rickshaw Theatre,
Vancouver BC
Definitely a good crowd size for
an early wet Wednesday night in
DTES. First time I’ve seen them open
the balcony. Good lighting tonight
too. Thy Will Be Done had a pretty
strong showing if you are going by
crowd response. Didn’t seem too
special to me, but maybe the kids
were still hyper from chugging the
energy drinks in the line-up. Bonus
points for not stopping the last song
when the sound got all messed up,
leading the guitar player to rip all
his strings off during the song! A
good laugh. Nice to see Goatwhore
actually do have an audience,
after the abysmal showing at their
headlining show a few months ago.
They played a few ‘newer’ songs as
well as the usual greatest hits. All
went over well, with a great circle
pit and whatnot. Still my favourite
overall blackened death band, but
they seem to be tipping into the
bro metal pit a bit.. hope I’m wrong.
Suffocation was JUST headlining
here the other day, but somehow
even more people showed up
for them this time, and easy to
see why! Despite the somewhat
macho image of singer, band is
surprisingly techie while remaining
interesting and accessible. Some
really great drumming, while
guitars suffered from distortion. A
display of skill regardless. Too bad
about the repeated scripted song
intros from last show. My biggest
criticism would be too many of their
songs sound the same, but I guess
whose don’t? DevilDriver were…
DevilDriver-like. But better than
expected at least. They put on a
high energy show and all, but don’t
really stand up to earlier bands.
Kicking the security guard out was
a little gimmicky (and seems to be
done regularly in California all ages
shows) but fans seemed to go for it,
so whatever. So much crowd surfing,
which helped ebb the overall
boredom. An ok groove metal band.
Overall a good night.
David Warren
Titans Eve/Archon Legion/Fetus
Grinder/Aeterna
January 15 The Asbalt (Astoria),
Vancouver BC
Ah, another Asbalt reunion show.
Breathe it in while you can. Even
better turn out to this show then
the last, so looking good. Aeterna
are a ‘sort of kind of’ progressive
classic power… something… band.
Reminded me of old Nintendo
games. Some reasonably impressive
vocals featuring a wide range
though. Got things going near the
end of their set, and hey, it’s always
nice to have a girl in the band. Fetus
Grinder continue to prove that
having a fetal influenced name =
automatic success, and edge cymbal
= head banging. First official mosh
pit of the night. Awesome that
these guys have finally built a fan
base who were chanting for their
songs. One of the better local death
metal bands. Archon Legion had
two new members, but besides the
lack of headbands I could hardly tell
the difference from last time I saw
them. Really got the older metal
heads rolling! ‘In Battle We Will Ride’
is still a favourite. The three guitar
battles can be great at times, with
a very polished sound. Very groovy,
like Deep Purple meets Death. Glad
I could finally catch a Titans Eve
headlining show. Unfortunately, the
vocals didn’t translate too well at
the time, but still great drums and
guitar! Great stage presence despite
having no dedicated vocalist. The
Gamblin brothers shred like crazy,
easily making Titans Eve one of the
best local thrash bands. Really blew
everyone away, and the beer flying
all over the place. Looking forward
to hearing more from these guys
soon.
David Warren
Behemoth/ Septic Flesh/Lightning
Swords of Death/Kataplexis
January 21 The Republik, Calgary
AB
Kataplexis were brought out of
album writing hibernation to open,
and a good mood setter they turned
out to be tonight. As if anyone had
any doubt. I’m going to use the
term “rip roaring” to describe their
set, but I would never say that out
loud. “Razor Ramon”, “Force Fed”,
and their magnum opus cover of
Napalm Death’s “You Suffer” were
somewhere in the maelstrom. If
you don’t live in Calgary and are
reading this, see them when they
come see you. Lightning Swords of
Death, what a name eh. Their dark
cloaked front man commanded the
first in a series of “HEYS” chanted by
the crowd in succession to funeral
blasting beats. It was planned that
Shining were to play instead, which
would have been a more interesting
experience, though LSOD brought
their chops. Septic Flesh made their
return in grand style. For most of
their songs, I could say they do some
of the best atmospheric blackened
death metal out there, and live it’s
as powerful and majestic as it is evil.
With more top tier records, they
could be a great new sensation.
The only thing which irks me is
the absence of an actual keyboard
player in the mix when so many of
their songs rely on samples. Before
Behemoth played, the old Tequila
staff which once inhabited the
premises were carried out in brown
burlap sacks and smashed naked
into a hole of snakes and thorns,
sacrificed for the black clad corpse
painted demi-gods. Not really, but it
would have been a fitting end to the
former spray tan trove. Nergal and
company (who smelled of death as
they walked through the crowd) led
a chariot of blasphemy made flesh
to the kingdom of the white winged.
The crowd ate up the rotting
heap of “Conquer All”, “Demi-God”,
“Slaves Shall Serve” and “As Above,
So Below” like it was fresh monkey
brain from a Japanese stir fry. Make
it Christ brain from a Roman’s skillet.
Speaking of Christians, the bible
tried its best to stay together, but
out came its pages, one by one, as
one lucky fan had some firewood to
use for later on during “Christians to
the Lions”. He would need it, as his
bones would be chilled, as on that
night the Polish heretics brought a
chill not seen for weeks until then.
Cunt Eyes
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Absolute Album Reviews
Arsis - Starve for the Devil
Nuclear Blast Records
Arsis’ 5th full length album Starve
for the Devil is not even officially out
yet and it already has every asshole
with an opinion taking aim and
firing. Produced by Zeuss at Planet Z
Studios who has done previous Arsis
albums as well as Municipal Waste,
Agnostic Front, Hatebreed, etc,
these Virginia boys threw us more
than a curve ball with this release.
Busting out of the gates with a
fun, almost power metal sounding
anthem “Forced To Rock” it kind of
makes you wonder what the hell
will come next. Sounding NOTHING
like the other Arsis records I was a
bit disappointed but understand
that nothing in life is stagnant,
especially with front man James
Malone facing an eating disorder
which he went public with last year.
Not surprising a lot of the songs are
focused around self destruction and
reflect everything he has trudged
through. This is also a completely
different line up from the last album
We Are The Nightmare, but many
are excited of the return of Cofounding
member, Mike Van Dyne.
Some of the highly technical guitar
work we’ve heard in past albums is
devoid and perhaps also the deadly
edge they once had. Somewhere
mid-album things start to stand out
with the catchy “Beyond Forlorn”
and hold the interest high for the
remainder of the record. Definitely
not the best Arsis album, but I’m
sticking with them as a favorite for
the long haul.
-Demonika
CBGB OMFUG Masters / TERROR
Live: June 10/04 the Bowery
Collection
MVD Audio
Well as far as live albums are
concerned, this one is decent
enough. The sound quality is above
average on the 11 tracks included.
I’m actually surprised it took until
the beginning of the 3rd song for
Scott Vogel to cry for more stagedives...
I thought for sure after the
first song he’d start in with his Vogel
isms. Terror is a band that I just can’t
take too seriously these days, be
it the inflated egos, the lackluster
material produced in the last five
years or just my dis-interest in
anything Scott has to say. It’s short
and sweet, and if you’re into Terror
still, then by all means add this to
the collection – it’s certainly a slice
of Terror from a time when they may
have still been relevant & in their
prime.
-Pauly Hardcore
Congress – Demo
Independent
Congress is made up of ex-members
of 3 Inches of Blood, Pride Tiger and
Jaws, but may not really hold any
of those bands as an influence. The
opening track ‘H-Bomb’ starts with
a funky drumbeat, distorted bass
and crunchy guitar, then the deathly
vocals of Jamie Hooper (former
singer of 3IOB) kick in with fierce
intensity. It’s good to hear him back
behind the microphone and with
songs titles like ‘Sybian Fuck Unit
7X’ and ‘Rotten Snake Corpse’ you
know he doesn’t disappoint in the
lyrical department either. The music
may be metal at heart, but has rock
drumming that keeps it honest.
The lack of double bass or blast
beats doesn’t steal any of the evil
tendencies this music still portrays.
And the tempo is all over the map,
slow, fast AND mid, they do it all.
Trying to pin this band with a genre
wouldn’t be easy as the band grabs
the best parts from many different
styles, with rock n roll drums! What
more could you ask for?
-denis maile
Doom Riders - Darkness Come
Alive
Deathwish Inc
Fronted by Nate [Converge] and
often times channeling all that was
great about Danzig, Doom Riders
return with the follow up to “Black
Thunder”. This time around the riffs
are thicker and more prominent
while the songs themselves
almost have a pop flavor to them.
Addressing the issues facing those
in power Nate belts out the lyric
“Heavy lies the crown, upon the
head of kings...” with conviction
while the title track is a dead ringer
for an early Danzig song. This troupe
are poised to sit at the metal throne,
drink of the goblet of rock and
command the heavy music scene
with righteous, thunderous jams fit
for the gods - whichever you may
pray to. Raise a fist or two and bang
your fucking head!
-Pauly Hardcore
Fallen Decade - Under No God
FDM
With old school thrash still reigning
supreme on the metal circuit today,
Canada definitely still contributes
its fair share of talented metal
acts. Vancouver-based band Fallen
Decade is the next on board to show
& prove that fact. With hardcore
elements and straightforward thrash
crossover influences seeping in, the
boys obviously listen to old Pantera,
Slayer etc, but it certainly does
not sound “Canadian”. Thank god.
Featuring ex-Cradle to Grave vocalist
Greg Cavanagh, he has stepped up
his game in the vocal department
and sounds more vicious, energetic
and potent than ever. Greg’s style
can be called somewhat original
as he almost has a punk feel in his
delivery especially on the title track
“Under No God”. Drummer Dave
Vokey “gets his Lars on” with the
third track and first single and video
“The Smoke” with its somewhat
“Disposable Heroes” lifted intro,
not a bad thing but a noticeable
one. The twin six-string onslaught
of Andrew Murrin and Rod Davis
complement the “chugga-chugga”
bulldozer that is bassist Andrew
Mann especially on the track “Dead
by Morning”. We cannot help
but mention you also have great
musicianship here, for the simple
fact that there are Newfoundlanders
in this line-up, making the riffage
as crunchy as some fatback
scrunchions. The rest of the album
oozes pure metal, straightforward –
not too garbled, not too mushy, just
crisp, sharp and straight to the point;
the way it should be. Produced by
the band and Brandon Cherrington
it’s all Canadian throughout, making
this disc a Maple Leaf masterpiece
for 2010.
www.myspace.com/fallendecade
-E.S. Day
Fear Factory – Mechanize
Candlelight Records
A strapping young factory has
grown out of a much needed
direction change in the lineage
of one of the most iconic bands
in metal, and with that some of
the fat was cut off. Actually, a lot
of the fat was brought in, as Gene
Hoglan, Dino Cazarez and Byron
Stroud tip the scale with a solid steel
backbone for Burton C Bell to wax
mechanically over. It seems ironic to
me that Devin Townsend was heavily
influenced by Fear Factory when he
wrote City, as now half of his hired
muscle is this band. Musically, this is
the best Fear Factory record I have
heard in years. Crushing moments
pop up everywhere, with a lot of the
rhythmic verse sections sounding
like the even more inhuman
passages of one Meshuggah.
Topically, Bell’s ideas seem like a best
of collection, with many borrowed
wires and data chips from previous
albums. Definitely an upgraded and
heavy set product, but here’s hoping
that it doesn’t take only an iceberg
to derail it.
-Rymanufacture
Frostbacks-S/T LP
(True North records)
These guys may look like a bunch of
hosers who wish the Winnipeg Jets
were still around, but this is actually
ripping street Punk in the TKO vein
.Members of the Dayglo Abortions,
Keg Killers and Rod Iron Haulers
join forces to create one serious
punch in the toque! Songs about
stubby bottles, Igloos ,fish factories
and killing the Prime Minister of
America make this one serious laugh
riot, however the strength of these
numbers breaks through the comic
facade, Leaving your ears numb
from the same kind of battering one
would receive from Bonecrusher,
Anti-Heroes, Blitz, or anything else
on TKO these days. Go out and buy
this, grab a toque, crack a stubby
and light an export green!!!
Dustjak Oak Slay 2010
Gears-Rockin at Ground Zero
(re issue)
Amazing original beach punk from
So Cal, the Gears mixed rockabilly
w/straight ahead Ramones riffs,
creating the beach sound that
would become a standard for bands
like the Blades, China White, the
Mau Maus, Slashers, Non-Fascists,
Simpletones, The Crowd, The Screws,
Agent Orange, The Flyboys, The
Outsiders and of course Vicious
Circle(who would turn into T S O L).A
lot of Hostage bands sound like this
nowadays, so if you are as big a fan
as my homie TY STRANGLEHOLD
then go buy this shit, hit the beach
and get ready to SURF and SLAM!
Comes with bonus CD of The D.I.’s,
who feature lead singer Axl G Reese,
and drummer Dave Drive.
DustJAK OAK GAY 2010
High Five Drive - Fullblast
Independent
True to the albums namesake,
this Winnipeg group come out
of the gates full boar. Straight-up
speed punk (think Belvedere or
Choke) with little filler. When I
interviewed Greg [vocals, guitar] he
had mentioned that he was most
proud of this album and it is easy
to see why. In a genre riddled with
complacency, “punk by numbers”
and lack of creativity High Five Drive
have crafted a genuine, passionate
and above all, thoroughly enjoyable
album to listen to. After going over
the bands tumultuous history,
realistically these guys shouldn’t
even be a band any longer but
luckily for us they are & still
delivering valuable contributions to
a music scene & genre in desperate
need of quality over quantity.
-Pauly Hardcore
The Mcgillicuddys – Sin Lane
Independent
I could really start off this review
by saying something cliché about
the length of time between
McGillicuddys albums. After all it
has been seven years since they last
put out a CD. But instead let me just
concentrate on two things here, the
fact that this album contains more
originals and less covers than the
first one, and that it is an awesome
album. From start to finish the
McGillicuddys give their all on their
second effort. I am very impressed
to see more original tunes, and
the songs they chose to cover this
time around are stellar (not that
they ever cover lame songs). The
albums start out with a good one,
two punch of Celtic punk rock on
the first two tracks, mellows a wee
bit, then builds back up as they
cover The Nips, “Gabrielle”(the
inclusion of female lead vocals on
this classic is a nice touch). The mid
tempo, “The Siren’s Drone” makes
a nice midway point. After that the
album speeds up a bit, and really
kicks into the gems, “Bones”, “A Hard
Way”, and the cover of “1952 Vincent
Black Lightning” are my favourites,
all featured on the latter part of the
record. “A Hard Way” is an amazing
tune; it captures everything this
band can do well, brilliant quick
guitar, beautiful accordion, gang
vocals, and very touching, catchy
lyrics.
-Chuck Wurley
Outbreak - Outbreak
Think Fast! Records
Stripped down and pure are the
descriptive words I’d associate
with this release. Angst driven,
uncompromisingly aggressive and
extremely fast all fit the bill as well.
Melody? Scratched, Breakdowns?
Axed, Singing? Fuck no. Ultra Fast
drumming? Check, Rage fueled
lyrics? 10-4 good buddy. Frenetic
guitars? You bet your ass. What
your left with is 15 tracks that flow
seamlessly together over 20 some
odd minutes to create the distinct
feeling that these dudes from Maine
are unhappy about the state of
affairs in the world and generally
dissatisfied with humanity for the
most part. A dizzying combination
of 80s inspired punk/thrash/
hardcore with the ethos of today’s
youth at heart. Combined with Ryan
Eyestones vibrant and appealing
cover art, this album is the highlight
of their tenuous career and one I’m
sure a few years ago if you’d asked
Ryan O’Connor if he was going to
make, the answer would be vague
and elusive. Thankfully it did, and it’s
been playing in my stereo non-stop.
- Pauly Hardcore
Sigh – Scenes from Hell
The End Records
January is not even over yet, and I
cannot fathom another album cover
beating Sigh’s Scenes from Hell. Sigh
have definitely gone back to darker
roots, as Scenes from Hell sounds
more like Hair Horror Hail than the
sometimes “happy” and bewitched
sound of Hangman’s Hymn. The
symphonic elements have gone
to new heights here, sounding as
if this album was composed by
Christopher Young and played by
Pinhead and his cenobites. Evil and
beautiful make great bedfellows.
The first thing I noticed with this
album is that it is much harder to
decipher the vocals than in past
releases. This could be due to the
sheer depth of instrumentation on
this album. The “rock” instruments
take a rhythmic back seat to the
orchestral annihilation of this opus,
with Mirai’s and newcomer Dr
Mikannibal’s enflamed vox raging
like persecuted demons from the
red mists. Some were worried
with her coming to the band, but
seriously, you cannot tell half the
time who is singing – it sounds like
they both have cockroaches on their
breath. It may take two or three
ingestions to fully grasp all of Scenes
From Hell, but like Dante’s Inferno,
it is not a journey that is without
discovery and wonder.
-Dr. Dyer
Sub City – Where’s The Noise?
Transistor 66
Where’s The Noise? is the newest
release from Winnipeg, Manitoba’s
Sub City, who were until recently,
the Sub City Dwellers. They are
still the same band, with the same
members, putting out the same
mix of punk, ska, reggae and blues
influenced music. This album is on
par with their last excellent effort, if
not better. It busts open with, “Too
Loud For this City”, and “Drag Me
Down”, the latter of which contains
the instantaneously catchy line,
“Something in the water gonna
make you move your feet”. The third
track, “Silence” starts off with an
extremely eerie horn intro, busts
into a more raucously punk rock
sound, and has a shot of Tom Waits
in it. The album then slows down
a bit, but that is not a bad thing,
“Sweet Misery” just oozes with
soul, driven by beautiful organ
work. The album peaks with noise
and intensity in the middle, with
“Gasoline”, but does not necessarily
let the listener down after that.
“The Hounds Part 1” is once again
introduced by slow and intense horn
work, and is a bluesy masterpiece
despite its short length, before it
segues into the more upbeat, “The
Hounds Part 2”. The second to last
track “St. David” prides itself on it’s
on combination of guitar and organ
to create a reggae track you just
can’t help but resist. Sub City may
have shortened their name, but they
have not compromised their sound
whatsoever. There is no lack to the
layers and textures of music here
that combine together brilliantly.
-Chuck Wurley
Titans Eve – Into the Fire EP
Independent
Coming seemingly out of nowhere,
over the last year or so Titans Eve
has quickly risen through the ranks
of the Vancouver metal scene,
quickly becoming one of the best
thrash bands in town. Kyle and Brian
Gamblin provide the foundation
for this machine, both provide the
ludicrous guitar riffs as well as the
screaming vocals. Alexander Giles
(bass) and Casey Ory (drums) add
the HEAVY layer that brings the
whole group to their equilibrium
between clean and dirty. This four
track EP has been circulating for
awhile now, and everyone I talk
to about it has nothing but praise.
Comparisons to Anonymous,
early-Metallica, and early-Anthrax
are warranted, but perhaps
unnecessary. Yes, the CD is only four
tracks – but they’re four ridiculously
good tracks! Very easy to get into,
and hard to forget. ‘Living Lifeless’
is my favourite track, but it took me
many many play throughs to decide
on that one. Into the Fire is available
at Scrape Records for free with any
purchase.
-David Warren
Tribune - Rotting Core EP
Independent
With an army of hooks and a high
degree of accessibility on their side,
Burnaby’s Tribune are tossing their
hat into the Vancouver metal scene
with their 3 song, 12 minute EP,
“Rotting Core”. Blasting out what I’d
categorize as melodic thrash metal
with more than a tinge of metalcore
and death creeping around the
edges (think a more evil God
Forbid minus breakdowns), Tribune
manage to balance massive groove
and ear candy with occasional burst
of nastiness (see “The Shadow”
mid-section). All three of the tunes
are up-tempo and energetic pieces
that are buoyed mainly, by my ears,
on the considerable strength of
the vocals. The vox is constantly
shifting between intense screams,
soaring cleans and even a voice in
between that I found to be fairly
unorthodox, sounding sort of like a
tuneful Hetfield growl. Interestingly
enough, I found the clean vocals in
the choruses sound akin to those of
one Dallas Green. The gem in this
pack has to be the single, “Coming
of Cain”, despite possessing a bit of a
purposeless outro. The song’s many
twin guitar excursions are prime
examples of why it was a great move
to expand the capabilities of the
band by adding a second guitarist.
After listening to their older tunes,
I couldn’t help but remark on how
drastically the Tribune sound has
been altered with the addition of a
second six-stringer. Though lacking
in any guitar noodling solos, every
member seems to have been given
parts to step into the spotlight,
which balances the songs out nicely.
In summary, while Tribune is not
exactly re-inventing the wheel here,
“Rotting Core” stands tall among its
peers, delivering solid, to-the-point
songs that will be in your head for
days while still maintaining their
metal cred.
-Michael Gignac
The Turrettes - Not Heavy, Just
Awkward To Lift
This CD is getting a lot of play out
here in Victoria, and so it should! It
fucking rips and it’s fucking funny!
You won’t find these scumbags
blabbing about drinking energy
drinks in their songs, more like
dirtbag subject matter set to really
speedy tight thrash-style punk.
This should appeal to fans of the
Meatmen,Mentors,Bloody Mess,The
Accused, and the Dayglo Abortions
I also heard these are the dudes that
run The Distillery in Calgary, so give
them some free cocaine or a hooker,
and they will help you out. This is
also ONE disturbing album cover
with someone’s anus exploding from
lifting weights! Can’t wait to play a
show with these dicks!
-DustJak OAK SLAY 2010
The Zap Straps – Holy Moly It’s the
Zap Straps
Independent
Smart, catchy, and aggressively
sassy. Fuzz and surf guitar, snappy
drums, and bass that makes your
head bob. And the lyrics? The lyrics
range from telling you how things
are going to be, to, well, just plain
bizarre. Every time I see/hear them,
I am constantly reminded of the
fact that they are ever so necessary
in the Victoria music scene. It is
not every day that a three-piece
garage/surf band just pops up. They
remind me of countless bands I have
listened to over the years, whose
styles are not represented in our
local scene. So no matter whether
this band is telling you how great
a beach party is in, ‘Beach Party”, or
the singer/guitarist is trying to give
a boy the slip in “Later Alligator”, or
they are embarking on trips to other
galaxies, “Psychedelic Palace”, trust
me, they will grab your attention.
Maybe if Hunter S. Thompson, Kim
Deal, Dick Dale, and Sun Ra were
all on a fishing trip together… this
could be their sound track?
-Chuck Wurley
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 33

Absolute DVD Reviews
Alien Trespass
Anchor Bay
After over 50 years of being
buried and forgotten, a group of
construction workers unearthed the
famed lost film, Alien Trespass, to
be viewed by a new generation of
sci-fi fans. Will a modern audience
appreciate a film which could have
been screened next to The Day
The Earth Stood Still and War Of
The Worlds today as much as they
would have after straightening
their bee-hive hair dos and waving
to the milk man after he passed by
their suburban home? On a first
impression, seeing as this is a direct
to DVD release, you wouldn’t think
so. Imagine you’re at a drive in with
a bubblegum chewing chick as you
suck back a soda while she holds
your hot dog, and you will be “taken
back to the past” with Alien Trespass.
Everything here looks 1950s, except
Robert Patrick. It somewhat throws
this whole revival thing off; he’s good
in his role, but did they need a big
name actor? The plot is as follows
- a meteor brings to earth some
Earthbound looking aliens, “tentacles
attached to huge eyes” – aesthetically
appealing to the max. If the film was
in black and white, which would
have made more sense, you wouldn’t
get the full effect of these baddies.
Along with them, a benevolent alien
takes over a human body (think “The
Hidden”) in order to find them. We
eventually find out that the hideous
looking aliens are equivalent to sheep
on earth. Funny. This type of film
is the more serious brother of The
Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. It’s quirky,
charming and fun for the whole
family. Yeah, I couldn’t believe it too.
Included are faux news releases on
the finding of the film, interviews
with the cast and director, and other
standard extras. Don’t watch without
PSI!
New Age Retro Hippie
The Alphabet Killer
Anchor Bay
The letter M was found dead today at
his New York City apartment. It is the
fourth in a series of killings involving
other letters of the alphabet,
where each of the letters has been
somewhat disfigured. “Boy looks more
like the letter V,” said Sheriff John
Hills at the scene, “We’re gonna get
that Alphabet Killer, no doubt about
it, but I have to stress to all of you
letters out there – dress as a number
if you’re going out alone.” I wish.
The Alphabet Killer is a spit shined
and polished direct to video thriller
which recounts a series of murders
in Rochester, New York where girls
would turn up dead in nearby towns
that were spelled with the same first
letter as their first name (i.e. Carla
Castille in Churchville, Wendy Walsh
in Webster). Because the case remains
unsolved, The Alphabet Killer uses
the story of the trailing detective and
the distortion of her reality when
becoming totally immersed in the
mystery to lead the movie. This works
in films like From Hell and Zodiac,
but as the protagonist dwells deeper
into the case, with the cheesy looking
ghosts of the killer’s victims haunting
her, the film sometimes begins to feel
reminiscent of a second rate Japanese
ghost story. Like I mentioned above,
the film looks as if as if it was shined
by a poor kid in an alley war for a
10 dollar tip. Real nice for direct to
DVD. Bill Moseley is listed on the box,
but his cameo is nothing more than
being questioned in a public park
because of suspicions to his being
the Alphabet Killer leading from his
past crimes as a child molester. The
proceedings will have you wondering;
but ultimately, the film doesn’t spell
out a sense of satisfaction for this
case.
D
Blitzkrieg – Escape from Stalag 69
Wild Eye Pictures
Just as the Third Reich has made
its way back to the DVD players
via decomposed flesh in films
like Dead Snow, a revitalization of
concentration camp rumpus room
torture sagas has also been thrown,
like a malnourished dreidel, into the
horror fire. The general movie going
public may not have been chomping
at the bit to see and updated version
of 70’s Nazisploitation flicks, but I
am not the general movie going
public. But does Blitzkrieg deliver
the degradation of films like Men
Behind The Sun, or does it bait and
switch with a badass title and cover
art only to excessively bore like SS
Experiment Camp? I’d say it’s in the
middle. Being that the film is ultra low
budget, the whole thing just doesn’t
seem too believable. The setting and
costumes look just a smudge better
than what you’d find your local drama
club producing. What is convincing
about Blitzkrieg is its heart. At over
two hours, it’s no picnic, and the cast
and crew worked with what they had
to create an interesting throwback to
a lost era. While the director claims in
the DVD’s “making of” that Blitzkrieg
has more in common with Stalag 17
than say, The Gestapo’s Last Orgy,
I found it hard to get too into the
human drama of Blitzkrieg. When
the gore does happen, it doesn’t
feel too disturbing, and I’m not sure
that’s due to desensitization. If you’ve
seen a couple of Nazisploitation
films, not much will seem new
here, besides a nice malice of the
phallus. The whole film has an air of
satire and comedy about it – not so
much like a John Waters film, which
Blitzkrieg’s advertisements proclaim,
but like a Cabin Fever, film school
type of vibe. The special SS edition
is a death camp gold tooth bonanza
of goods, including a vast “making
of” featurette, cast interviews after a
screening, trailers, deleted scenes, a
gag reel and the original short film
which acted as the blueprint for
Blitzkrieg. One sieg heil up.
Dyer – He Wolf Of The SS
The Bloody Ape
Wild Eye
Maybe it was because I just had
a Planet Of The Apes marathon,
but when viewing The Bloody
Ape for the first time, I just didn’t
find the prospect of a malignant
monkey terrorizing the citizens,
raping women, and causing general
havoc much of a stretch in terms
exploitation plot devices. You could
say I was rather used to seeing
humans abused by their hairier
counterparts. The Bloody Ape,
originally shot in 1997 on Super 8mm
film, moves along like a faithful terror
ride at the fair – with all its creaks
and strings showing. No renovations
here, this is low budget love 101, a
tale of an abused ape (tempted by his
handler swinging bananas in his face
and spraying banana scented mist
around his quarters, driving the poor
beast into a mad frenzy) who escapes
from the circus to soon go on a spree
of rape and rampage. Influenced by
other beastly films such as Night Of
The Demon, The Beast In Heat and
most likely, Night Of The Bloody
Apes, The Bloody Ape is a short, just
over an hour, romp which, like many
“authentic” exploitation films, has
more bark than bite. The DVD cover
features a savage looking simian
shrieking at a scared slut. The tagline
exclaiming “400 Pounds of Fury –
Hungry For Female Flesh”. Must not
have been that hungry… If you only
view the trailer for The Bloody Ape,
you’ll get the gist of the excitement in
the movie in a span of two minutes.
Shot before production started, this
scene shows the ape (played in this
scene by director Keith Crocker)
ravaging a woman in her shower
before slamming her skull against
the tiles. This scene is intact in the
film, but is only complimented by a
couple more occurrences of statutory
ape. This includes a very H. G Lewis
inspired scalping scene. A director’s
commentary puts a lot of insight into
the making of the film – I know that
sounds cliché, but if you have ever
thought of making your own low
budget exploitation film, take a listen.
Also included is a not too revealing
“making of” doc and One Grave
Too Many, a short film by the same
director. Can’t quite recommend this
one, but for exploitation, and Edgar
Allen Poe (!) completists, it’s worth
a watch.
Roddy McDyer
Happy Birthday To Me
(1981, 2009 Anchor Bay release)
This is a familiar memory to many,
I assure you, especially if you are
Canadian. You were young, a slightly
curious Canadian kid, possibly at a
sleepover, still sugar-smacked up
after two fright flicks, but nobody
is sleeping. One of your fiends
gets that look, you know the one,
suddenly producing a VHS, saying
“Who wants to see blind ‘Mary’
from ‘Little House on the Prairie’
go nuts and kill all her friends…
My big brother scored it for me..it’s
supposed to be nas-teeeee…Who’s
up?” Indeed, that’s how it happened
to me. Director J.Lee Thompson, just
like his unsurprising Canadian peer
and producer for HBTM came up
with another Canadian (This time,
Montreal, Quebec) shot film that was,
is and will always be remembered as a
critical CDN horror, along with BLACK
CHRISTMAS, R.I.P. Bob Clark (The
Cursed Canadian Holiday Trio is what
I call it…) Synopsis? 10 Beautiful kids
who have been ‘The Beautiful’ kids in
the college town since way back have
a co-ed frat thing goin’ down. Virginia
‘Ginny’ Wainwright (Anderson) is
of course, the ‘newest’ to earn her
scarf, the fashion accessory that is an
identity to anyone who aren‘t one
of the rich lil’ snots contingent. We
see that Ginny has mental problems
and unseen secret past weird nutcase
issues, plus she just may be
killing her new mates in macabre
ways. HBTM was not released on
DVD until 2004, and Man…It BLEW!
After waiting decades for the first
proper DVD release, and *wretch*,
It was an awful one. Hacked like a
1st year film student whilst getting
head, the original music GONE,
with an ill advised ‘new & improved’
complete soundtrack, and THEE
worst damned cover to grace such
a highly anticipated release. It was,
to put mildly, the largest way to lose
wood EVER! Yes, this was all we had,
and seemed to be getting for the last
five years. It was depressing, and only
those of us whom were fortunate to
own the original VHS seemed to win
still. Until this year. Anchor Bay saves
the day again. 2009 was the year
34 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
that HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME finally
received the release it was shutting
its mouth patiently, and waiting for.
Now available, we can all once again
enjoy the sweet memories of real
AM rock gold whilst Ginny does a lil’
mirror dance, and the motorcycle
scene…Oh? The wonderful seconds
of gore added back where it belongs!
Considering this is the ONLY one of
my Horroly Trilogy that has never, nor
expects to ever be re-made, this is
when I smile.The world seems so right
for a moment.
Miss Gory Rae
Heaven and Hell
Independent
Horror and holiness. While I was
never seriously into some yarns
of the good vs evil ilk such as The
Prophecy series, movies featuring
the devil, his incarnations, his
influence, or his minions in films
have always interested me. Just look
to The Exorcist or John Carpenter’s
Prince Of Darkness for compelling
tales of unstoppable doom brought
forth by one of the oldest villains in
fiction (there, I said it), Satan. What
we have in Heaven and Hell isn’t a
documentary on the Ronnie James
Dio fronted Black Sabbath, but a good
looking, albeit low budgeted effort
from self proclaimed “religious horror
director” Richard Chandler which, like
many holy horrors, deals with a plot
to bring upon the apocalypse, this
time by the resurrected Lilith, first
wife of Adam. The story ambitiously
goes back to circa mid 1940s and
back again, but like many low budget
films attempting to be quasi period
pieces, suspension of disbelief is
required as costumes begin to look
like, well, costumes. The apocalyptic
device doesn’t look all too convincing
as well – though we are treated to a
“making of the rocket” special feature,
in case you were curious. The makeup
effects, on the other hand, look more
than decent. Visceral gunk that would
make you want to skip The Last
Supper. With a short running time,
coupled with some charming lines
and performances, not to mention
a sudden and satisfying ending, you
could do worse with your time than to
watch Heaven and Hell. Doesn’t feel
as if it will stop an unholy apocalypse,
but is something fun to view while
you’re not going to mass on Sunday.
Father Dyer
Long Weekend
(1978) Synapse Films
This film from the land down
under can fall into several different
genres; thriller, horror, Ozploitation,
adventure, revenge, etc. Whichever
category you assign it to however,
won’t change the fact that it’s a
powerful and well-made Aussie gem.
What starts out as a simple camping
trip on a long weekend turns into a
nightmare for a young couple hoping
to save their marriage. As soon as they
arrive at their destination it becomes
apparent that they have about as
much respect for their surroundings
as they do for each other, which
as we soon find out, isn’t much at
all. After a weekend of hunting,
bickering and general disregard for
the environment it becomes evident
that nature has had enough with
these people, and the animals don’t
plan on letting them leave without
a fight. Now, I know you’re probably
thinking that since this falls into the
“when animals attack” subgenre it
must be full of camp and cheese, but
that isn’t the case at all. In fact you’ll
be hard up trying to find a single
piece of cheese in the entire 95min
runtime! What you will find is some
effective (but not overpowering)
symbolism throughout and
although there is a healthy amount
of foreshadowing, the film remains
considerably unpredictable right up
until it’s shocking conclusion. Those
that are used to more action-packed
Oz features such as “Mad Max” or
“Razorback” may find this one a
bit slow for your liking, but there
is plenty here for the adventurous
film fan; creepy atmosphere, good
acting, nail-biting suspense and even
a vengeful manatee! If you’ve seen it
already, good onya! If not, what are ya
waintin’ on, mate?
Brenin Barrow
Skull Heads
Full Moon Features
Full Moon Features and Charles
Band have released a somewhat
disappointing DVD in Skull Heads;
at least in comparing it with their
previously mostly entertaining
releases. This one tells the tale of a
very neurotic family who live in an
Italian house which is guarded by
the Skull Heads – a Day-Glo, cartoony
looking pack of Puppetmaster rejects
who look like they would be more at
home in a Mexican “Day of the Dead”
themed puppet film. They do not
harm anyone unless they are evil, and
can bring back the dead – but none
of this really happens until the last
20 minutes– until then if there was
supposed to be tension built until
the supernatural horror starts, it fails.
Perhaps they should have just saved
the puppets for a weirdo Mexican
massacre film. Perhaps they just didn’t
need puppets this time around at all!
One thing that makes these Full Moon
releases interesting is the seemingly
random interview they splice in
for each DVD. This time we have
William Shatner having a round table
discussion with Jeffrey Combs and
Stuart Gordon. Shatner mostly talks
about alien encounters while Combs
seems to be tipsy at the table. They
should release a DVD only consisting
of these interviews, but then people
would be wondering if it’s still Full
Moon if there are no puppets…
Victor Creed
Spider Baby: The Maddest Story
Ever Told
(1968, 2009 Dark Sky release)
Spider Baby is one of those
clamorous, chiller cult films from
the late 60’s, with Lon Chaney (Jr.)
not only starring in it, but singing
that wonderful old spooky style
of Hot Rod Horror creepin music
spellbinding opening credits that
eek of Addams and Gorey. This film
is as about as genuine as it gets. Star
Sid Haig made a helluva ‘Retard’ (Oh
yes, all 3 ‘children’ are deemed quite
‘retarded’) The other two ‘children’ are
females, ‘The Merrye Sisters’. I would
put at 18, but they dress like unkempt
lasses in their dirtied girls frocks, hair
tied in disheveled old ribbons…A
charade and a fetish, as they certainly
do not act like the two ‘retarded
sisters’. Then, quickly mentioned,
but most important, Ralph, played
by a frightening youth with natural
pinhead characteristics, Sid Haig. (I
don’t dare surmise on his relations
with his sisters). What ensues for the
initial scene of ‘breaking bread with
the inbred’, so to speak; Ralph seems
extremely happy that, as the Social
Workers demanded, to ‘experience’ a
meal at The Merrye House, and one
he proudly provided, applauded
by his family at what looks like an
overcooked sinewy ‘something’,
apparently ‘rabbit’. This is when we
see that the young hip ‘not in on the
plan’ social worker is the one with a
hard on gold, er…and treats these
misfortunates and the care keeper
with ambition, equality, and a God
given mission to help these poor
souls (But a drinking, partying, and
hot blooded one at that) After all. Like
most of the great films FINALLY being
released by companies like Dark Sky
Films, giving it the treatment so many
more films deserve. The Interviews,
deleted sequences, history, images,
and even a visit to the original house,
still standing, which many budding
filmmakers could learn a few things
about major creativity on the camera
work could appreciate. Again, if the
whole Rock’n’roll sinister 60’s style
sinema is why you dress like it, Or?
You either want to see Sid Haig
(and why he was made for Capt.
Spaulding) climbing Victorian turrets
to watch social workers getting nude,
Or? You just LOVE this film as much as
I do. Treat yourself, for the price of a
couple drinks, (coming from a drinker)
I highly recommend the sacrifice.
Sins Eerily, Miss.Gory Rae
Train
Millenium Films
Over the past few years, the ‘Terror
on a Train’ concept has risen from the
dead (for the first time since classic
slasher hit Terror Train was put to rest
alongside countless other horror film
favorites of the 1980s) with titles like
End of the Line, Midnight Meat Train,
and the latest of the bunch, director
Gideon Raff’s, TRAIN. Coincidentally,
the new millennium has become the
stomping ground for a whole new
kind of brutality–an entirely new style
of horror that has been stamped with
the notorious ‘Torture Porn’ label.
So I guess it’s safe to say that it was
pretty much inevitable; someone
out there was bound to create the
ultimate ‘terror-on-a-torture-porntrain’
UN-loved child. Director Gideon
Raff was the poor fool who actually
had enough courage—or rather,
lack-there-of—to try and meld two
unoriginal concepts into something
that potentially could have been
worth-while, had there been some
genuine heart and thought put into
it. Unfortunately his efforts were
in vain–or, to put it blatantly, he
probably wasted way too much time
and money on this vile piece of crap.
I mean really, all he did was “borrow”
some ideas from Eli Roth and change
the setting so that the characters
would all have to suffer from a bad
case of motion sickness (the only
notably unique thing about this film)
while undergoing the same ruthless,
tiresome torture we’ve seen how
many freak’n times before. The film
kicks off with an elite group of college
league wrestlers–played by the lovely
Thora Birch and a cast of otherwise
unknown, untalented nameless
faces– making their way to Eastern
Europe with a chance at winning an
important international tournament.
I wasn’t particularly turned on by this
little fecal fragment of a film, I do have
to give Gideon Raff props for keeping
the degradation degree set at max—
and for the hearty helping of all the
bloody, rancid-meaty goodness you’ll
need to keep your stomach churning
for a few days afterwards. I guess if
all you need to satisfy your insatiable
craving for a “good” horror flick is
a predictable outcome, cardboard
characters, and a shit-ton of gore,
by all means, Bon Appetite! I, on
the other hand, will be saving my
appetite for something with a juicier
heart.
Laceration Lacey

WWW.CAPITALCITYTATTOO.CA
A GOOD FRIEND HAS LEFT US...
Calgary's music scene is mourning the loss of a
true original musician and friend. Ryan Fox was
known for his kindness, unusual charismatic wit,
and his big heart. He wasn't afraid of being totally
different from the crowd and had his own unique
style and personality. Ryan played in many bands
over the years, the most recent of which being
the Nightstalkers. Ryan had a great passion
and talent for music, a fine taste for scotch and
enjoyed jamming with friends. He always made
sure everyone around him had a good time and
had a good laugh. He will be dearly missed...
RYAN FOX December 3,1975 - January 8, 2010
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 35

Absolute Horror
LuCIFER VALEnTInE 666
By Ryan D
On February 14, 2006, Slaughtered Vomit Dolls was released,
introducing the world to a new genre of film, vomit gore. Now, the
barf is back in town – director Lucifer Valentine has already outdone
himself with the Empire Strikes Back of vomitry, ReGOREgitated
Sacrifice. Now, no seasoned gag reflex will be able to handle the
rising tides of his tentatively untitled upcoming third flick, and
hands will clap vehemently in the grasp of a Satanic hallucination– if
they aren’t stuffed down throats already.
Absolute Underground - Give us an update on the happenings
of Lucifer Valentine
Lucifer Valentine
666 - These days I am
editing the 3rd movie
in the Vomit Gore
Trilogy ! Next month
I will shoot the final
scene, then it’ll take a
few more months for
me to edit, create the
sound design for the
film, and do all the final
color correction, but
then the Trilogy will be
complete !
In the next few
months, on Unearthed
Films, I will re-release
SLAUGHTERED VOMIT
DOLLS (in it’s second
edition), then rerelease
ReGOREgitated
Sacrifice, then I will
release the 3rd movie
in the Vomit Gore
Trilogy !
The next movie for me to edit and release after the Vomit Gore
Trilogy will be BLACK METAL VEINS ; I am very excited to release
this documentary I shot last year about a group of friends that are
Heroin Junkies and love Black Metal music.
36 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
AU - You are a Satanist in the true form of the word, that being
putting faith in the complete self over shady idols.
How does this life choice affect the philosophy of
your films?
LV666 - Well, I guess I’ll quote myself from my myspace
where I state my personal definition of
Satan and being Satanic:
“To me Satan means whatever
people can’t fathom or understand;
the Unknown, whatever breaks the
commonplace and predictable mental
patterns of conventional thought
and experience; Satan represents the
opposite of people’s fears, weakness,
and crushing self-doubt about their
world and the entire Universe.”
When I make my movies, I want
the capturing and depiction of the
Satanic Energy of the people and the
story we are telling to be pure and
unadulterated; I want to be genuinely
caring and helpful to my subjects,
which are the people that I am filming,
and guide them, filtering their initially
human mind and its contents through
the Satanic realm using the art form
of cinema. During the film making process, no
matter what darkness and beauty we encounter
on our mental/spiritual journey, I am dedicated to
being my subjects’ friend and, at times, master.
AU - That being said, one can assume that your message to
Satan on the Slaughtered Vomit Dolls site is mostly tongue in
cheek?
LV666 - The Pact with the Devil on the SLAUGHTERED VOMIT DOLLS
website shows the actual original document that I wrote and gave
to Ameara LaVey for her performance of the character Angela
Aberdeen. When I wrote the Pact, I was in Ameara’s character, sort of
“channeling” Angela, and the various ideas I had about her character
based in part on stories I watched on the Satanic Panic themed
Geraldo Rivera shows of the 1980’s. I thought that kind of note, as
a Pact with Satan was the kind of thing teenagers in the ‘80s were
writing as suicide notes or diary entries to symbolize their rebellion
against the dysfunctional families they came from that were for the
most part christian.
AU - When did you realize you were an emetophile?
LV666 - I was vacationing in Helsinki Finland when the friends that
I was staying with spontaneously decided to have a “Maxhardcore
Marathon”; they bought a bunch of beer and we sat and watched
Maxhardcore’s nastiest unedited European versions of his “pukefucking”
videos for three days straight !
I had never seen a Maxhardcore video before, but soon realized that
he is the Godfather of puke-fucking;
that means that he would deep throat
gag a girl with his cock till she puked on
it, then he would immediately fuck the
girl in the ass using her puke as lube !
I was immediately fascinated with
puke-fucking; I loved it, I enjoyed
seeing the transformation of the
hot girl in the porn to a retching,
contorted kind of alien-insect-like
creature that pukes on its sex partner
for lubrication. The inhuman guttural
sounds of the gagging and puking and
the involuntary, violent, convulsive
movements combined with the
sheer barbarism of the act caused
an automatic transformation in me
and from that moment on I was an
Emetophile.
READ PART TWO
ABSOLUTEUNDERGROUND.CA

BRING HOME THE BUTCHERY.
ONLY AT
PLOTDIGGER.COM
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 37

Will Young
By Demonika
I first came into contact with Will while he was
shooting at a friend’s variety show in Calgary. He
was all business, busy, and gave good direction,
and that is all good qualities to have as a
photographer, especially dealing with so much
action. In the sea of endless photographers it’s
nearly impossible to wade through them all, but
Will Young is one who is always willing to help
out the underground scene and contribute to
creative, fun and sexy projects. I had a chance
to work with Will recently at the Calgary Tattoo
& Arts Festival during the official after-party,
Conventia De Mentia and thought I’d shine a light
on this particular photographer.
Absolute Underground - How did you get your
start in photography?
Will Young - I’ve always had a creative talent and
I’ve been drawing as long as I can remember.
My dad took up photography as a hobby and
introduced me to it, giving me a camera for
Christmas when I was 12. That spring I made my
first sale at a folksy art fair, and it’s been part of my
life ever since.
AU - What was your experience studying it at
ACAD [Alberta College of Art & Design]? What
did you walk away with?
Capturer of Phlegm &
Wild Voodoo Women
Young - It was an excellent opportunity to explore
new creative realms and it gave me the ability to
start treating photography as an art form similar
to illustration or painting, rather than a medium
of documentation. In that respect, I approach
most of my work with the intention of telling a
story of expressing an idea.
AU - Do you have a favorite walk around lens, if
so what is it?
Young - A fixed 50mm is my favorite, mostly
because it forces me to get up close and interact
with the person I’m shooting. It also provides the
most natural looking perspective.
AU - Which one item of equipment would you
say is the most important to you?
Young - My immediate answer would be my eyes,
without them I’d be hooped. I’m confident that
without digital cameras, computers, lighting, or
any advanced technology, I could still do what
I love with a pinhole camera and homemade
photographic emulsion.
AU - How do you decide on locations and
subjects?
Young -I have ideas that dawn on me at random
times, mostly while falling asleep or in the shower.
It’s handy to keep a notebook to scratch them
38 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
down. I also spend a considerable amount of
time researching other photographers’ work
and imagery in our culture and media. If I come
across an interesting concept, style, or design,
I’ll try to integrate those into my work. The more
challenged and stimulated I feel, the better.
AU - I love the sneeze photos on your website,
was that for something specific?
Young - Those were a personal project of
mine I started in College. The impetus was to
photograph someone in an unconventional
way, and few people desire being photographed
with snot and spit spraying out of their face, so I
figured it was pretty unique. After some research,
it turns out it has been done for scientific
illustrations in the past, but rarely as an expressive
portrait.
AU - Are you still teaching photography and
how is/was that experience?
Young - Absolutely! I’m teaching at ACAD in
the Extended Studies program, which is great
for amateurs and hobbyists who want to
improve their skills and study in a more casual
environment. I love to pass on knowledge and
introduce new ideas to others, so it’s definitely
something I’ll continue with.
artist profile
AU - What is your favorite thing to shoot?
Young - I love to shoot people who are expressive
and comfortable playing around in unusual
situations. That’s part of the appeal of alternative
and underground shoots; if there’s anything
I’ll get bored of if I do too much, it’s traditional
photography.
AU - What is your five year plan?
Young - Five years from now I hope to be
shooting for a variety of local and national
editorial publications, with some advertising
work for good measure. Ultimately I’d like to own
a studio and draw attention from the creative
community at large. I’ve also been toying with the
idea of moving out of Calgary to a larger city in
search of that goal.
AU - And if you had a dream job what would it
be? (photography related or not!)
Young - Billionaire James Bond villain with an
army of animals to do my bidding. I can’t think of
much else that’s greater than photography.
For more information on Will Young, please visit
his website at www.willyoungphoto.com

ead absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 39

Absolute Music DVD
Eargoggles – the cobalt
They say you can never go home again, well
that may be true, but Eargoggles sure the
hell comes close! Reverting back to my old
ways and dwelling alone with Jim Beam
on Christmas Eve, I found myself thinking
of days gone past, deciding it was time to
finally give the 2009 compilation of live
performances at the Cobalt the proper
viewing it deserves. The DVD begins with
one of my favorite Cobalt family members,
the one and only Dan Scum, acoustically
playing “Get off the Dope, And Get on
My Dick”. It doesn’t take long to get into
the hardcore brand of music the Cobalt is
known for as the next band appropriately
called Hard Charger tears into a fist pumpin
rage. From there on in there is everything
from Dayglos to Aging Youth Gang, Blackie
Hanoi Rocks-The
Nottingham Tapes
Raging footage of these
Finnish freaks tearing up a
British stage only months
before drummer Razzle’s
tragic death in LA. It’s
good to hear songs from
Two Steps from the Move
on here, and Nasty and
Andy lay down some of
the best Thunders style
licks you will ever fucking
hear!!! Find this and learn
where GNR, Bullet Boys,
Buckcherry and the rest of
those assholes got their
schtick!
-Dustin Jak
DOA-Men of Action
This is an amazing
collection of DOA footage
worth the price alone
for the live footage shot
in 1978 w/Brad Kent on
guitar! as well as the
Target Video footage of
40 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
Leblanc to Bison! Bison being a band I
cannot watch without thinking of my good
friend Eddy Anarchy. And in that vein, as
the bands roll on so do the memories the
beers swilled, the shots pounded, and the
ever degrading commentary of Mr.Plow....
Each set taking me back to a place I can no
longer go. As we all know the fate of the
Cobalt has come to an end. I’d say R.I.P, but
if I know Wendy 13, there will be neither
rest nor peace in her search to bring to
the Vancouver fans of hardcore a safe and
friendly environment to get their rawk on in
the near future! This shot’s to the hope she
does! Cheers my friends, thanks for all the
memories!
eargogglesdvd.com
Jake Jackoff
Absolute Book Review
the On Broadway in SF
1980.All you drummers
out there take note!!!
Awesome footage of
Chucky, Dimwit, John
Card, Ken Jensen (RIP) and
even Greg (Verbal Abuse)
James, all amazing skin
bashers! Top it off with a
cool commentary from
Shithead and a copy of
their new CD and you
got yourself a pretty cool
package! Buy this!!!!
-Dustjak OAK SLAY 2010
Custody Battle
Local skate video with way
too much smiling and cute
stuff. I was disappointed
in the lack of blast ramp
footage, also there was
no one using cocaine or
acting abusive towards
women. A scene from
a KKK meeting or NAZI
atrocity footage would
have made this more
Punch the Boss by Chris
Walter
Only three pages in and I
knew I was hooked. Chris
instantly had me giggling at
the opening pages of his book,
where the story began in a
familiar working class of my
own youth: hell’s kitchen. His
pragmatic storyline is written
so frankly, that everyone who
has experienced the injustices
of the kitchen life, the zone-out
sessions on factory lines or
the backbreaking bitch work
on construction sites will all
get a kick out of Chris’ brutal
memorable, also maybe
a couple of street inverts
and boneless plants. Devin
Doyle still owes the JAKs
money for drugs, and
might actually be able to
pay us back someday if he
keeps tearing up shit like
this! Brendan and Zane
also throw down some
pretty tight shit, but I was
disappointed that none
of these guys skated to
humour. Lost band-aids,
blood in the tomato sauce
and greasin’ the monkey in a
broom closet were only a few
of my favourite highlights. I
will have to say that I’m slightly
disappointed that there was
no punching of bosses faces
throughout this book, but do
not let that disperse your thirst
for another of Chris’ books,
because there is something
much more savage that can
be done. The vengeance is an
adoration.
-Crystal
SKREWDRIVER or BRUTAL
ATTACK; also no nudity
,vomiting, cock jousting,
urinating, bondage, or
jacking off Doberman
pinchers made for kind of
a dissapointment. C’mon
guys smarten the fuck up!
SUPPORT LOCAL SKATERS
AND BUY THIS.........IT
RIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-DustJak Still on probation
OAK GAY 2010
WAREHOUSE NIGHTCLUB,
CALGARY ALBERTA
1984-2010
RIP
ABSOLUTE UNDERGROUND WISHES TO
THANK THE WAREHOUSE & UNDERGROUND
NIGHTCLUB FOR THEIR SUPPORT

“Find These Songs and Make a Fuckin’ Mix Tape”
Here are some rather
colorful love songs
for your Valentine!
1)Wayne County and the Electric Chairs
-Fuck Off
This is one excellent sleazoid anthem supplied
by one of the best ever to come out of the big
apple!”If you don’t want to fuck me baby, baby
fuck off!” He is now known as Jayne County.
2)GG Allin and Bulge-Caroline and Sue
Amazing love song about our fearless hero’s
craving for a three way with a junky hooker and
a transvestite. This guy did not fuck around!
3)TSOL-Code Blue
Moving number about sexual intercourse with a
corpse, these Long Beach stalwarts still play this
in their set!
4)Stranglers-Sometimes
Brooding, violent romper off of their debut LP,
where singer Hugh Cornwell theatens his spouse
with violence, these guys were the real deal, and
are still playing!!!
5)The Stooges-TV Eye
Iggy used to say that chicks
who had a crush on him
had a “Twat Vibe”, So do the
math and you kinda get
the picture. Iggy rules
6)Alice Cooper-Cold Ethyl
Rippig track from
Nightmare lp about the
coop’s love affair with a
dead hottie with some
seriously amazing leads
supplied by Dick Wagner.
7)Kiss-Nothing to Lose
Excellent number from
the first album finds Gene
Simmons trying to talk his
date into taking it in the ass.”Thought about the
back door” awesome shit kiddies!!
8)Rolling Stones-Stray Cat Blues
Only Jagger can pull off a tune about openly
fucking underage girls. This is so bad it’s
good!”Betch Mamma don’t know ya can screw
like that”
9)Viletones-Dog Style
Nazi dog sure knows how to love the ladies and
this is no exception, some truly gritty material
from one of Canada’s earliest punk groups.
10)Dead Boys -I Need Lunch
Stiv sounds like he needs a lot more than lunch
in this cute bowery ditty. He also threatens to
punch his lover in the lips. Maybe some of these
guys should consider going to a respectful
relations course!
This season before your birthday reveals
the social and cultural environment
where you are playing for the coming
months. The few days after the New
Moon February 13th make or break
your participation in a social group or set of friends.
Sometimes you have to cut your losses; sometimes
you want to try to fit in. Don’t mistake glamour for
something of spiritual value. Full Moon February 28th
may seem lucky, but you may not be ready for the work,
skills, effort required. That’s OK. Fake it until you make
it. March 15th New Moon brings a creative connection.
Don’t mistake inebriation for inspiration.
Your career is going through a
period of fluidity. Even if your gig
is stable this is a time to consider
options for change. After the
New Moon February 13th you
may better see what role is viable. Around the Full
Moon February 28th your social life is supposed to be
picking up. Get out and about over the next 3 weeks.
The second week of March, keep healthy and stick to
obligations. You are finally able to apply yourself to
fixing up your place and organizing your family. With
the New Moon March 15th you are making new and
interesting contacts.
You have some pull, but you are
more interested in being right than
diplomacy. With the New Moon
February 13th consider a new
map of personal and professional
boundaries; one that is more inclusive
of differing opinions. Allies and supporters may be more
prevalent than they now seem. Gemini is at its best
when collecting pertinent data. Later February brings
important information about the agenda of family,
friends, and higher-ups. In March you are juggling the
divergent expectations of others, yet you can handle
it. In late March be careful with finances and letting
someone untrustworthy too close.
You are building up power and
influence in February. There are
choices to be made with the New
Moon February 13th. Will you take
the high road and take the time
to build a solid foundation financially and emotionally,
or will you piss away your advantages on instant
gratification? The Full Moon February brings common
sense into your decisions about with whom you bond
and upon whom you rely. Mid-March brings inspiration
and revelations, which encourage you to establish fresh
goals and plans. Pay attention then, too, to hints about
coming relationship and career tension.
There is an emphasis upon close
relationships in February. With the New
Moon of the 13th you are better able
communicate your vision of how great
things could be, but you have to make
an effort. The more significant others
in your life are going to be acting in surprising ways.
You want to be kept up with their decision making
processes. Your psychic powers are a bit off now, so
communicate clearly and pry. In March professional and
personal relationships continue to fluctuate. Through
this emerges opportunity to seize power and improve
business. Don’t let the wool be pulled over your eyes in
late March.
There is a strong undercurrent of change.
You may not be sure where your life is
going, but you are certain your path has
taken a turn. You want to envision where
you want new paths to go. Do not give
attention to rumors and conjecture in
regard to work or health matters. Maintain your grip on
what you can control. Close relationships become more
of a focus late February through March. Maybe you can
let your guard down a little. Be open to the inspiration
and opportunities that new contacts and close friends
bring. Later March is bad for money risks.
FEBRuARY & MARCH 2010
February is mostly about bringing
inspiration to your creative vision and
finding a broader audience for your
antics. Make a push for public adoration
with the New Moon February 13th. Try
on a “type A” personality, just for fun. Be aware of the
implications of success, such as more work. February/
March make an effort to exercise, eat healthy, budget
money, etc. and new good habits may form. The Spring
Equinox March 20th ushers in a period when your
closest relationships need attention. The Full Moon
March 29th people want to know where you stand and
you want to go with the flow.
You are making decisions about what you
need. Some of this is space, so you will be
pushing your position at home and with
family in February. You need this space so
you may spread your wings and find some
fun. Doing stuff with kids, artsy projects,
and flirting are some ways that you can put a smile on
your face. The Full Moon February 28th may even see
you volunteer in your community; a good way to get
out of the house. March brings smart intuitions about
creative projects and business. From March 20th you can
get working on a couple of these.
Busy time for you. You should be out there networking.
You are extra persuasive in February. You can get
your way. The tricky part seems to be deciding what
that is. Sagittarians have a natural
wanderlust and that quality is being
emphasized now. Some will be
embracing a gypsy life style for some
months this year. Consider quickly a
career opportunity around the Full
Moon February 28th because is fleeting. Much of March
seems a bit boring, except for some family weirdness.
A social crisis looms in late March. Hide your wallet and
MYOB. Little wonder you want to get away.
Much of February holds a focus upon translating your
productive energy into income. A fresh inspiration
comes with the February 13th New Moon. Then into
March comes the legwork and networking needed
to flesh out your ideas. You can get a 3 year career
development plan, up and running.
You may even find solid support
and investment. In early March deal
with stress arising from balancing
home/family obligations and career
demands, because it is likely to get
worse. The Full Moon at the end of March a build up
of tension may discharge into a disruption of a close
relationship.
Happy Birthday. You are caught between trying to
rearrange your closest relationships to
bring you more of what you want, and
changing your personal outlook. The
New Moon February 13th reminds you
that you cannot change anyone except
yourself. There is some tangible spiritual
inspiration coming into your life; hokey but real. Try to
relax about your close relationships being in a state of
flux. And learn to live with the boundless potential of
your own personality being transformed. Then, you are
better able to focus upon improving your finances. A
year of money making opportunities is underway. Self
promotion is warranted.
Through the first 3 weeks of February the Sun is in
Aquarius. This is a time of karmic repercussions and
inner reflection for you. Areas that could
bring challenges are health (have you
been looking after your self?), and work
(have you made an honest effort?). With
the New Moon February 13th comes an
impetus to create some deep healing for
your self. If the right guidance comes your way, don’t
reject it. From the 18th the Sun enters Pisces and you are
better able to take control of your life. In March, be open
to fresh insights about how to make it all work.
David Zunker is an Astrologer, Tarot Card Reader, and occult guy in
Victoria, who does readings and classes.
www.mysticmountainlodge.com
read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv 41

ove e.g.
ther
g.
les
erson and
candidate
ame of US
like
in Cuba
ith which to
rty
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blime
ing League
itzgerald
kname
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k’s __ __
Crossword & COMIX
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16
17 18 19
20 21 22 23
Dear Dr. (Va) JJ,
CribbageCan
I get
pregnant from
anal sex? Oh,
and can I put a
pickle in your
bum?
-Dardy Hicks
Dear Dardy
Hicks,
Depending on
your position,
the little soldiers
can sneak/
leak/ ooze from
back to front,
infiltrating the
cervix, (storming the gates, if you will)
eldof doesn’t
24 25 26 27
28 29 30 31 32 33 34
35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42
43 44 45 46
47 48 49 50
51 52 53 54 55
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16
17 18 19
56 57 58 20 59 21 60 22 23 61 62
28 29 30 31 32 33 34
63 64 65 66 67 68 69
70 71 72 73
74 56 57 58 7559 60 61 62 76
70 71 72 73
77 78 79
Across
1. Sask Premier
5. Aids
10. Mourning Dove e.g.
14. Sunburn soother
15. Workers’ org.
16. Actor Morales
17. ED spokesperson and
former
Presidential candidate
Bob
18. Shorthand name of US
detention camp in Cuba
19. Orient
20. Implement with which to
kill Dracula
22. Obama’s Party
24. Music genre of The
Specials and Sublime
26. Take back
27. Small Island
28. Int’l Wrestling League
31. Legendary Fitzgerald
33. Stallone nickname
35. Where the Mets play
37. Jiminy Glick’s __ __
wood
39. Same here
43. Days Bob Geldof doesn’t
48. Have a word
45. Sarajevo 50. native Vend
51. Mine’s Judy Young (Hi
47. Anwar of Mom!) Egypt
53. Extremely
48. Have a word 55. Wild Blue Yonder
56. Home alarm corp.
59. Da Vinci’s Lisa
50. Vend 61. East-West road
63. Due portion
51. Mine’s Judy 66. Bat’s Young method of (Hi
navigation
70. Platter
Mom!) 71. Arab girl’s name
meaning justice
53. Extremely 73. Grow weary
74. Bronte novel “Jane
55. Wild Blue _____” Yonder
75. Fantastic jazz fusion
drummer Dave
56. Home alarm 76. Dutch corp. cheese
77. Ribonucleic acids
59. Da Vinci’s 78. Maltese Lisasoft
drink
79. “Nibs” in French
Cribbage
61. East-West road
63. Due portion
66. Bat’s method of
navigation
70. Platter
71. Arab girl’s name
meaning justice
73. Grow weary
74. Bronte novel “Jane
_____”
75. Fantastic jazz fusion
drummer Dave
76. Dutch cheese
77. Ribonucleic acids
78. Maltese soft drink
79. “Nibs” in French
24 25 26 27
35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42
43 44 45 46
47 48 49 50
51 52 53 54 55
63 64 65 66 67 68 69
74 75 76
77 78 79
45. Sarajevo native
47. Anwar of Egypt
Down
1. Down Rolls of cash
2. Many
3. Showgirl at The Copa
Cabana 1. Rolls of cash
4. Big green onions
5. 2. Embrace Many
6. Author and Playwright
Bagnold 3. Showgirl at The Copa
7. Word for word
8. Apple in Anjou
49. Greed
9. Cabana Looks for clues
10. Lager or Pilsner
11. 4. Soul Big Singer green Hayes onions
12. Marley’s religion
13. Like a dumb blonde
5. Embrace
21. Scrape out a living
23. Common ailments
25. 6. Antonym Author of enemy and Playwright
28. Beliefs
29. Bagnold Command to a horse
30. Borrow out
32. Endure
34. 7. Yangs’ Word counterparts for word 68. Saudi
8. Apple in Anjou72.
Elev.
9. Looks for clues
10. Lager or Pilsner
11. Soul Singer Hayes
12. Marley’s religion
13. Like a dumb blonde
21. Scrape out a living
23. Common ailments
25. Antonym of enemy
28. Beliefs
29. Command to a horse
30. Borrow out
32. Endure
34. Yangs’ counterparts
Sex Column XXX
and ultimately ending in a less than
Immaculate Conception. Can you
imagine being the baby born from
leftover butt juice? Leakage in the
night? Gnar. 2 words for all of you
beloved butt fuckers: PULL OUT.
“Oh, and can I put a pickle in your
bum?” That depends, are you going to
eat it after?
Kisses, Dr. Vaj
Dear Dr. Sexy- err…J.
I’ve been fornicating frequently (a
few times a day) in front of a religious
building. We can see into each other’s
windows and I’ve made eye contact
while we’re both in the “prayer
position”. Does this mean I’m going
to hell?
36. First man of Genesis (not
Phil Collins)
38. Competent
40. Bonds
41. Speak
42. Jerry of The Misfits
44. Fundamental building
blocks of matter
46. Gumbo ingredient
52. Punker’s hairstyle
54. Regina airport code
56. Succeeding
57. Co-host Jones on “Buzz”
58. Small crown
60. 4 time US presidential
candidate Ralph
62. Consumed
64. Canadian Whiskies
65. B.P.O.E. members
67. “Hunter” who’s “No
Angel” (“Thank You”)
69. Rapid Eye Movements
By Dan Scum
42 read absoluteunderground.ca watch absoluteunderground.tv
36. First man of Genesis (not
Phil Collins)
38. Competent
40. Bonds
41. Speak
42. Jerry of The Misfits
44. Fundamental building
blocks of matter
46. Gumbo ingredient
49. Greed
52. Punker’s hairstyle
54. Regina airport code
56. Succeeding
57. Co-host Jones on “Buzz”
58. Small crown
60. 4 time US presidential
candidate Ralph
62. Consumed
64. Canadian Whiskies
65. B.P.O.E. members
67. “Hunter” who’s “No
Angel” (“Thank You”)
68. Saudi
69. Rapid Eye Movements
Sincerely, Sin Dee.
Quadra Village
72. Elev.
Dear Sin Dee,
Well, it all depends on what KIND of
religious building. By Dan I’ll Scum break it down
for you.
Hindus have no restrictions on
particular “kinds” of sexual affairs, as
long as they don’t kiss and tell. You can
shit on your mother’s chest and fuck
her poodle up the ass, as long as it is a
highly private affair. Otherwise it’s just
distasteful.
Neopagans, or as your granny would
say, “witches”, occasionally do this
groovy swinging thing known as sex
magick. This particular trick can be
broken down and categorized into oral
sex, butt sex, voyeurism, girl on girl,
boy on boy, group sex, mutual oral sex
stoned on hashish, and last but never
ever least, goat sex. So basically…
anything goes. (Anything goats?)
In 1208 AD, the Catholic Church
officially declared sexual union
(within a good Christian marriage,
mind you) as a special participation
in the union of Christ in the church
(whatever the fuck that means), as long
as it does NOT include “fornication,
masturbation, homosexuality, sodomy,
incest, adultery, prostitution, beastiality
and pornography.” You lost me at
fornication. The doctor is going to hell.
Even the smiling Buddha himself
says “one should not pursue sensual
pleasure, which is low, vulgar, coarse,
ignoble and unbeneficial…” *yawn*
There’s more to that but frankly I think
unless you’re a monk in a monastery
up a fucking mountain somewhere
meditating you’re a fucking poser if
you claim to be a Buddhist. *ducks*
and they’re never as peaceful as they
say either. The doctor knows.
And then there’s Islam. Believe it or not,
they discourage celibacy, and it’s one
of the few cultures that is incredibly
strict about making sure the man
doesn’t leave the bed until the woman
is satisfied… as long as it’s not your
sister, on her period, in her ass. Incest
is a no no, pussy is strictly prohibited
during menstruation, and sodomy
is punishable by death. And I quote;
“Cursed is the one who approaches his
wife in the rectum.”
So basically, if it wasn’t boring, don’t
expect 70 virgins to be waiting at the
gates for you.
Hugs and kisses,
Dr. J