Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit Script - Dialogue ... - CPAC Studio

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Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit Script -
Dialogue Transcript
Announcer And now. Ladies and gentlemen...the Luxurious Stars Desert Inn
Hotel in Las Vegas... is proud to present the final performance...
of an exciting engagement. the incomparable singing sensation...
Miss Deloris Van Cartier!
Deloris
Started my life
in a worn, torn dress
That somebody threw out
Somebody threw out
I knew the way it felt
to always live in doubt
To be without
the simple things
So afraid my friends
would see the guilt in me
So I got a good job
in the city
Working for the man
every night and day
But I never lost
one minute of sleepin'
Worryin' about the way
that things might have been
I was a devil with
the blue dress, blue dress Blue dress
I was a devil with the blue dress on
Oh, and I was a ho
Sugar pie, honey bun
Sugar pie, honey bun
You know that I love you
Love you
I can't help myself
I love you and nobody else
Wait
Oh, yeah, wait a minute, Mr Postman
Wait
Wait, Mr Postman

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Mr Postman, look and see
Oh, yeah
If there's a letter in your bag for me
Please, please Mr Postman
I've been waiting such a long, long time
Deliver the letter
The sooner the better
She wore an itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie
Yellow polka-dot bikini
Stop in the name of love
But my mama told me you better shop around
So that's what I did. ladies and gentlemen. I shopped.
I shopped and I shopped and I shopped.
And I found myself something special.
I got myself a brand-new hustle.
Do the hustle Do the hustle Do the hustle
Do the hustle
Money, money, money, money
Money
Money, money, money, money
I was a bad girl
Toot-toot, beep-beep
Talkin'about a sad girl
Toot-toot, freak out
Mr Big Stuff
Who do you think you are
Mr Big Stuff
You're never gonna get my love
Whoa! See how they treat me?
He got my cousin!
He got my coat!
And when I tried to get it back he whipped out this great big...
Shotgun
Shoot him before he runs now
Do the jerk, baby
Do the jerk now
Hey! I had...
Nowhere to run to, baby
Nowhere to hide
I had Nowhere to run to, baby
I didn't have nowhere to hide until

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Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Imagine that!
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelu...
All right. Y'all. You know this song.
Let's sing it. All right?
Nothing you could say could tear me away from my God
From my God
SISTER MARY ROBERT- Shh. She's coming.
Deloris Nothin'you could do 'cause I'm stuck like glue
To my God My God, my God,
Hello! Hey!
These are my friends. Ladies. Sing this for me.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- Sister Mary Patrick- Sister Mary Lazarus We are
Deloris Come up and join us. Come on. Come on.
And hurry up. Ladies!
Come on!
There's not a man today
who can take me away...
Hey! Come down.
Bg singers I love him, I love him
Deloris Hey!
Bg singers I love him, I love him, whoo
Deloris Pull it up. Please. Pull it up.
Bg singers I will follow Him
Follow Him
Deloris Look out!
Oh. Jeez!
Bg singers Follow Him wherever He may go
There isn't an ocean too deep Too deep
A mountain so high it can keep Keep

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Keep me away Away from His love
Deloris What the heck are you doing?
We are family
Go. Go. Go. Go. go. Go. Go!
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up, everybody and sing, sing
We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family, family
Get up, everybody, get up, everybody
Get up! Well, get up
Get up, everybody, and sing
Deloris Thank you! Thank you!
Scene 2
Deloris and Nuns leaving stage, going to Deloris’ suite.
Joyce- Deloris. You were fantastic. Thank you. Thank you.
Deloris. Excellent. Oh. My!
SISTER MARY PATRICK- Nice outfit. I'm glad I didn't wear mine.
Joyce I gotta tell you. Sisters that that last bit was great.
Just great. I'm a very big fan of yours. I got your album.
If you...
deloris This is my manager. This is Joyce. What do you want?
Joyce Now. Hold it. Are you currently represented?
deloris They're nuns. Joyce. God represents them. Come on.
Now. L...
Joyce God is good. But can He get you your own
dressing room? This l... You were great.
Sister Mary Patrick Oh. Thanks. I love to sing. She taught me.

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Deloris I am so glad to see you guys. I can't believe it.
What are you doing here?
SISTER MARY PATRICK-- Well. We're... came to see you.
Deloris Are you gonna stay a long time?
SISTER MARY LAZARUS We have to be back on the road tonight.
Now. Listen. We don't have any time to chat.
SISTER MARY PATRICK- - Well. Maybe a little chat. We do have to get back.
Though. We're teachers now. It's a school night.
Teachers.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- And really it's all because of you. I mean. You
inspired us to... to go out into the community and.
and do some good in the hood. Oh. My Wow!
deloris Can I get you guys something? Sit down.
Sister Mary Robert- - No. Mighty
Sister Mary Patrick- - No.
deloris Can they even hear you in the back of the room when
you're teachin'?
Sister Mary Robert Oh. I'm getting better at it. Oh. We're teaching...
at St Francis Academy in San Francisco.
deloris I went to that school. Oh! It was... Oh! Ooh!
They need good teachers, trust me.
Sister Mary Patrick- Well. We're having a barrel of laughs. Although the
kids sometimes get a little unruly. Just a little.
Actually. They're out of control.
Sister Mary Lazarus It was so bad last week Sister Mary Patrick frowned
twice.
deloris Ooh. Goodness!
Sister Mary Lazarus Oh. Now let's get down to business.
Joyce Oh. Excuse me. Any matters of business have to go
through me. See...
deloris No. Excuse me. Excuse me. These are my friends.
Joyce I'm talking to them.
Joyce I would like...

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Deloris I'm talking to my friends.
Joyce Well. I just want to talk about the...
deloris I'm talking to my friends now.
Joyce I am your manager.
deloris Forgive us. Excuse me.
Joyce- Go ahead. No.
deloris Thank you. Now. Come on. You guys. You come up here.
You come to see me. What's going on? Does Mother
Superior
really know you're here?
SISTER MARY ROBERT- She sent us on this mi-mission to...
Sister Mary Lazarus The Reverend Mother said we're not to come back without
you.
deloris Well. What does she want? What's...
Sister Mary Patrick Well. We're not entirely certain. But we know that she
needs you... and she wants us to come and bring you
back.
deloris Well. Is she okay. I mean. Health-wise? Is she in
danger? What?
Sister Mary Patrick- Oh. No. She's fine. - No. She...
Well. She's a little desperate.
deloris She's desperate?
Scene 3
Running thru church
End of vegas scene
Sister Mary Robert What. What? What. What? Oh. Sit. Sit. Sit.

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sit. Sit. Sit.
REVEREND MOTHER Welcome. Oh. Welcome. Welcome. It's good to see you.
deloris It's so good to see you. Too.
REVEREND MOTHER But I'm sorry I couldn't join the Sisters in Las Vegas.
I've heard you are truly a spectacle.
deloris Well. Yeah. You know. I work at it.
Reverend Mother You're probably wondering why I asked the Sisters to
bring you here.
deloris I am a little curious. What's all the mystery?
Reverend Mother Well. You see. Deloris... we need your help here...
at St Francis. We seem to have got in slightly over our
` heads.
deloris What do you want?
REVEREND MOTHER Help us by becoming a teacher.
deloris A teacher? Me? Oh. No! Listen. I'm not cut out to be a
teacher. Who would I teach? What would I teach?
REVEREND MOTHER Teach the children. Teach music. You weren't cut out to
be a nun either. But look what you accomplished at St
Katherine's. You brought a new spirit into the convent
and into the community. You were infectious. You
could be just as infectious here.
deloris You're makin' me sound like a disease.
REVEREND MOTHER We are struggling here with a community that is
tired... and worn and despairing. We saw this school
as some sort of renewal... but it's. It's becoming a
hopeless situation. We have nowhere else to turn. We
are desperate women. Deloris. We need you.
deloris Oh! I don't...
REVEREND MOTHER Now. Come. Look. Think of the children. We must invest
in their future. It is our duty. And who better to help
us than you?
deloris I'm a lounge singer.
REVEREND MOTHER You are the perfect example of how a sow's ear...can be
turned into a silk purse.

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deloris Hmm. Well. I probably wouldn't put it quite like that.
I mean. look... I mean. Really. I mean. my career's
startin' to take off. You know. I kind of wanna get
into my success.
REVEREND MOTHER A success you might not have had... without the help of
certain supportive friends... who shall remain
nameless.
deloris Oh. So you're gonna be like that. Huh. With the guilt?
REVEREND MOTHER Guilt? Huh. I would never use guilt. I'm a nun.
Deloris All right. I'll do it for you.
REVEREND MOTHER Oh. Thank you. Deloris. I knew we could count on you.
Deloris But you're just talkin' about like a week. Right?
REVEREND MOTHER I don't think we should restrict ourselves to a time
frame. Sisters. Sisters. Deloris has agreed to join our
teaching staff. So could you take her to the changing
room?
Sister Mary Patrick Sure. Absolutely.
Scene 3a
Sister Mary Patrick He...
Deloris Somebody tell me why I'm dressed like this again.
SISTER MARY ROBERT The Fathers here at St Francis are. Uh. Very strict...
Sister Mary Patrick Well. I-if they were to find out that you're neither a
nun or a teacher. Well. They might...
deloris- What. Ask me to leave?
Sister Mary Lazarus In a New York minute.
deloris- Yeah. Well. Now I'm undercover again.
Sister Mary Patrick- Eh. It could be fun. Convent living's kind of grim.
Sister Mary Lazarus All I need's a bed and a place to kneel.
Sister Mary Patrick- Wait till you see what we have in the room for you.
Deloris Oh. Come on. You didn't go out and do something silly.
Did you?

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Sister Mary Patrick Well. Maybe.
deloris- What did you put in. A bidet?
Sister Mary Lazarus- A bi-what? Wh... No.
deloris- Never mind. Don't worry. What is it?
Sister Mary Patrick-- A watched pot never boils. You'll wait.
SISTER MARY ROBERT-- No. No. No. Don't tell her.
Sister Mary Patrick-- Okay.
SISTER MARY ROBERT-- It's a surprise.- Ready?
deloris- Aw. C'mon.
Sister Mary Patrick- One. Two. Three. Curtains.
Scene 4
School Grounds to Classroom
Sister Mary Patrick Sometimes it resembles a battleground at recess here.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- Yeah. For the most ca... part. The kids are really
well-behaved.
Sister Mary Lazarus Yeah.
Across the way
MR CRISP- A new... A new nun.
FATHER Yeah. Sister Mary something-or-other. I'm. I'm terrible
with names. Come in. - Mm-hmm.
deloris - Who was that?
SISTER MARY ROBERT- - Uh. Well. The older one is our principal. Uh. Father
Maurice. and the other one is our school administrator.
Mr Crisp. He's only been here just a few months.
MR CRISP Looks familiar. I think I've seen her somewhere before.
FATHER Oh?
Sister Mary Lazarus- Just long enough to hate us.

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Sister Mary Patrick- Yeah. Well. Some of the kids call him the devil
incarnate. I just think he's got a bad case of the
grumps.
deloris I don't care who he is. I just wanna put the top up on
my car.
Sister Mary Patrick If there's a car left.
deloris What does she mean by that? Is that a joke? Hey!
Scene 4a
SCENE OVER SHIFTS TO INSIDE BOARDROOM
FATHER I'd like you all to join me in welcoming the new
addition...to the teaching staff here at St Francis.
Sister Mary...
FATHER IGNATIUS - Clarence.
FATHER - Clarence, Who will be teaching our. Uh...
FATHER IGNATIUS- Music.
FATHER- Music. Is there still a music class?
FATHER IGNATIUS- In a manner of speaking.
Deloris Why is he asking. "Is there a music class?" How come he
doesn't know there's a music class?
Sister Mary Patrick Shh. Don't.
FATHER Sister Mary Clarence will be teaching our music class.
Yeah.
(CLAPPING)
FATHER Now. I. Uh. Think each of you should. uh. Introduce
yourselves.
FATHER IGNATIUS Uh. I'll start. I'm Father Ignatius. I teach math.
FATHER THOMAS I'm Thomas. Ave, magistra nova.
SISTER MARY ROBERT Latin teacher.

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deloris Oh. Good.
MR CRISP Excuse me.
FATHER- Ah. And. Uh. This is Mr Crisp. Uh. This is. Uh. Sister
Mary Clarence.
MR CRISP Oh. Yes. The new nun. Sister Mary Clemens.
deloris- Clarence.
MR CRISP- Clarence. I'm sorry.
deloris- Like in Thomas. You know.
MR CRISP- Oh.
deloris- Yeah. I'm the music teacher.
MR CRISP- The music teacher?
deloris- Yeah.
MR CRISP- I see. Oh.
deloris- You're grippin' me here. Just... Yeah.
MR CRISP- Oh. Yes. I'm sorry.
Deloris Thank you. Thank you.
MR CRISP Yes. I. I just stopped by to. Uh... uh. Remind you of
our meeting this afternoon.
FATHER Yes. Yes. Oh. Yeah.
MR CRISP Well. Pardon the intrusion. And bon appétit.
F4- Gruss Gott.
FATHER- Ah. And this is Father Wolfgang... who. Uh. Cooks so.
uh. Uh. Diligently... to administer to our dietary
needs.
F4 For luncheon. bratwurst a la Provence.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- He only knows how to cook one thing: German sausage.
Sister Mary Lazarus Day after day. Liverwurst. bratwurst. Bierwurst.
Sister Mary Patrick- It's the worst.

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Deloris Oh. No. No. Jenny Craig. I just couldn't. Thank you so
much.
FATHER This. Uh. Needs a prayer.
END OF DINNER SCENE Everyone gets up to leave…
Scene 4b
FATHER Oh. Sister! Oh. Sister Clarence...I wonder if I could
have a word with you in private.
deloris- Oh. No. I. I need to...
FATHER- No. Please.
Deloris Sure.
FATHER Thank you. Oh. Uh. Won't you. uh. Won't you sit down?
Yes. The Sisters tell me that. Uh. Your last posting...
was at a women's prison facility in the Louisiana
bayou.
Deloris - What?
FATHER - It wasn't?
Deloris No. No. It was. It was. It was. It was... Yes. Of
course. I mean. S... Yeah. No. the prison was really
rough on me... and so. I. I b... . I b... . I b...I
been trying to. To... wipe this experience from my
mind because it was so traumatic for me.
FATHER- Really?
deloris- Yes!
FATHER They'd led me to believe that you enjoyed it.
Deloris Well. In a m... Yes. I did! It was... It was... a
traumatic enjoyment of an experience that I should not
have had... and appreciated the way that I did because
I'm a nun. And nuns are not meant to have enjoyable
experiences.. because they lead to all kinds of
situations... which is where I found myself. which is
why I'm here now... and I know that you understand
that.

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FATHER Oh. Well. Yes. Indeed. I do see what you mean.
deloris- I knew. I knew you would.
FATHER- Well. Well. Now. As I do with uh. All my new
teachers... I'd. Uh. Like to share with you my theories
about education... gleaned from my years of experience
here….. as the principal of St Francis.
Deloris I am an open book.
FATHER Discipline.
Deloris Mm-hmm. Anything else to go with that? That's it?
Discipline?
FATHER Unfortunately. I think that's pretty much all we can
expect here. Do you have any questions?
Deloris No. I. I feel as though I have absorbed all I can from
you.
FATHER Well. Then. I wish you good day.. And good luck.
Deloris - Thank you. Your Eminenceship. Thank you so much.
Okay. Your Royal Pappyness.
DELORIS WALKS OUT TO SEE NUNS EAVESDROPPING
Sister Mary Lazarus Piece of work. Isn't he?
deloris A prison? Oh. You lied to me. and you're gonna go to
hell.
END OF MEETING scene
Scene 5
Father I takes SMC to music classroom
FATHER IGNATIUS- Sister Mary Clarence? Ah. Oh. You look a little lost.
deloris- Yes.
FATHER IGNATIUS Who isn't? What. Can't find the music room?
deloris- No.

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FATHER IGNATIUS Oh. It's downstairs. You take a left. a right. A right.
Another left. All right. I'm sorry. It's tricky. I'll
help you find it. Just follow me. and I'll show you
exactly where it is. Come down here. I know exactly
what you mean. When I first got here... one hall looks
like another hall. One stairwell looks like another
stairwell. Sometimes I'll find myself just stopping
dead in my tracks and going… "Oh. Lord. Come to my
rescue. come to my aid." Watch your step.
deloris- Yeah.
FATHER IGNATIUS Well. Here we are. It's the. Um... music class.
Deloris Well. Thank you.
FATHER IGNATIUS Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Remember. Nothing ever is bad
as it seems at first. Fight the good fight.
deloris- Okay.
FATHER IGNATIUS- Cercum corda.
Deloris Oh. Wait a minute. What? What was that?
FATHER IGNATIUS It's Latin. It means. "Lift up your heart."
Deloris I thought you said. "Insert some quarters." I'm sor...
I don't know if I'm cut out for this.
FATHER IGNATIUS- You're jokin' me. The children are waiting.
deloris- Thanks. Yeah. Ain't they?
Scene 6
Students chanting to a beat as SMC enters room
Cold beans, hey
and collard greens, hey
Cold beans, hey
and collard greens
Hey, cold beans...
TANYA_ Oh. No. See. That's why your mama deejays for the icecream
truck.
Sister Mary Lazarus- - Oh. It's you!

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Students chanting –
And collard greens, hey
Cold beans, hey
Sister Mary Lazarus Thank heaven you're here.
Students chanting –
And collard greens, hey
Sister Mary Lazarus-- Class. This is your new teacher...
Cold beans, hey
and collard greens, hey
Sister Mary Lazarus- - Sister Mary Clarence. Class!
MARGARET Your mama is so fat. She sat on a rainbow and Skittles
popped out.
Sister Mary Lazarus- - Class!
Students chanting –
Cold beans, hey
Sister Mary Lazarus- Well. Congratulations. You're the new mayor of Sodom
and Gomorrah.
Students chanting
Cold beans, hey
and collard greens, hey
Cold beans
TANYA- That's why your mother's so fat. She's on both sides of
the rainbow.
Students chanting
Cold beans, hey
and collard greens, hey
FATHER IGNATIUS Keep the faith. Sister. Just keep the faith.
Remember. Our Lord said. "O be ye strong of will."
Sister Mary Lazarus- And ye better be tough as nails too.
Deloris Yeah.
Students chanting
Cold beans, hey
and collard greens, hey
Cold beans, hey
and collard greens, hey

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Cold beans, hey
and collard greens, hey
(Deloris scratches her nails on blackboard)
Deloris Good morning. I'd like to introduce myself.
Would you all put your seats back in order. Please?
TANYA Watch my shoes. Watch my new shoes!
Deloris I have this funny problem with my ears. I don't like a
lot of noise. So maybe you could do it quietly? Thank
you so much. I'd like to introduce myself. My name is
Sister Mary Clarence. And I am...
FRANKIE Yo mama?
deloris- No. Sir. Let's talk about your mama...who's so dumb she
got hit by a parked car. Thank you. Let's try
attendance.
TAYLOR CHASE I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Taylor Chase...and on
behalf of the whole music class as we are...
RITA WATSON- Taylor. Taylor. You got a little something on your
nose.
AHMAL- Yeah. Taylor. A big. Big brown thing right around here. "Hello. I'm
Taylor Chase."
Deloris Thank you. Ms Chase. Richard Pincham.
FRANKIE- Wake up. Fool!
SKETCH - Paper or plastic?
Deloris I beg your pardon. Are you Richard?
SKETCH - Yeah.
Deloris - Did you do these?
SKETCH- - Yeah. S-S-Sorry. Sorry.
deloris- Let me see.
SKETCH- - That's why they call me Sketch. I do sketches. Sorry.
deloris- These are real good.
SKETCH- - Thanks.

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deloris- Try to stay awake in my class. Though.
SKETCH- - All right.
Deloris - All right. Wesley James. Wesley Glen James.
AHMAL- Respectfully. My sister...James is the slave name
forced upon my ancestors. While Wesley. That's some
name my assimilationist parents came up with. But
today. In honour of all my brothers and sisters who
died in the struggle... I wish to be called by my true
name: Ahmal M'jomo Jamaael... which means. "He who is
spirited."
deloris - And long-winded.
FRANKIE- - Yeah. A simple "present" would've done it. Bro.
deloris - And who are you?
FRANKIE- - Fran-kay.
Students chanting –
Hey, ho, hey, ho
FRANKIE- - Check it out. Check it out.
Hello there, miss,
and let me kick an introduction
Flute, violin, bass guitar
and then percussion
AHMAL- - Man. That's wack. Man. Man. Just stop. Can't you come
up with your own thing? Or must you continually come
behind my people and steal our expressions? First
jazz. Then rock and roll. Now rap. What you gonna try
to take next. Man?
FRANKIE- I'm gonna take your girl if you ain't careful.
AHMAL- - Keep talkin' there. Boy. - Excuse me.
deloris Let's leave this display of manhood outside. Shall we?
Thank you so much.
RITA WATSON- Yo. Could we hurry this up. Some of us got things to
do.
Students chanting –
Word up.
RITA WATSON- - You know what I'm sayin'? Goodness.

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deloris - Are you Rita Watson?
RITA WATSON- - Yeah. That's me. And I'm sorry I don't have any cute
stories or antidotes to tell you.
AHMAL- - Anecdote.
RITA WATSON- - Ahmal. Shut up. Mind your business.
deloris Well. How 'bout we just call you Rita Diva-with-a-
'tude?
RITA WATSON- Hey. Sister. Maybe I can help you out? Are we all here?
Students chanting - Yeah!
RITA WATSON- - We're here.
deloris Thank you. All right. what have you been doin'?
TANYA - Is she jokin'?
FRANKIE- - Chillin'.
deloris All right. Let me give you an easier question. Where
are the music books?
Students chanting - Up there.
deloris - Oh.
RITA WATSON- Maybe I should explain something to you. Sister. See.
Um. This is what we call a bird course. Now. The reason
we call it a bird course is because we. Uh... fly right
through it. See. All you gotta do to pass in this
class is show up.
deloris Hmm. So you come to class...you do nothing and you
pass?
RITA WATSON- Oh. No. We don't exactly do nothing. We have a good
time. Too. Yo. Frankie.
FRANKIE- - Yeah.
Students chanting –
Cold beans, hey

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And collard greens
Cold beans, hey
and collard greens
Cold beans, hey
and collard greens
Cold beans, hey
and collard greens, hey
(End of 1 st classroom scene)
Scene 7
Father’s office scene
FATHER `Money? You're asking for money?
deloris Yes! You know. It's that. that little green stuff...
that has pictures of dead presidents on it...and you
use it to buy things like instruments or songbooks.
MR CRISP Sister Mary Clemens.
deloris Mr Crisp. My name is Mary Clarence.
MR CRISP Clarence. I think you're confusing St Francis...
with Loyola Marymount or the University of Notre Dame.
There is no money here.
deloris - Yet they manage to pay you. Crispy.
FATHER Mr Crisp is right. Frankly. We're lucky to be open for
business at all.
deloris Well. Then I wish one of you would tell me wha...
what it is I'm supposed to do with these children.
MR CRISP Teach them to play soccer.
FATHER We don't have the balls for that.
Scene 8a
End of scene
Outside street scene
TAYLOR CHASE The question at hand is. how do we get this nun...
to extricate herself from us quickly and expeditiously?

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Maria In other words. let's get this nun to run.
SKETCH- Yeah. But I'm not sure I'm down for this. Man. That's
like messin' with higher power.
FRANKIE-- Yeah. Word up. Plus. This Sister is like a sister
Sister. Know what I'm sayin'?
AHMAL’ JAMES- She ain't no sister of yours.
Margaret- Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey! Chill. Okay?
SKETCH- - I heard that.
RITA WATSON Listen. Yall. We all gotta agree on this. Are we in or
` are we out?
Store keeper- Young man! Picasso! Keep this job. Get your butt back
in here. Boy.
SKETCH - I guess you know what that means. I'll stick with the
majority on this one. But I gotta go. so I'll check
y'all later.
FRANKIE-- All right. Homey.
SKETCH- - All right.
RITA WATSON-- Peace.
TAYLOR CHASE- Adieu.
SKETCH- - Peace.
FRANKIE-- See you. Man.
RITA WATSON-- There's no dialogue. Man. Come on. What's wrong?
Mrs W- Rita Louise Watson! You better get your behind in this
house now. You got homework to do!
RITA WATSON- Ma! Ma. We're just chillin'!
Mrs W Rita. Don't make me come down there after you.
RITA WATSON- Listen. Y'all call me tonight so we can figure out a
plan.

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Maria - All right.
Mrs W - Rita!
RITA WATSON- - See ya. On second thought. Call me in the mornin'.
Peace. Y'all.
FRANKIE- - All right.
Margaret - We'll. See ya later. Rita.
(End of Street scene)
Scene 9
Music Class
(Class is jumping to seats after putting glue on nun’s chair)
MARGARET Hey. Here she comes.
deloris Well. You look like my class. Is. Uh. Something goin'
on?
Students chanting No. Sister Mary Clarence.
deloris I saw a scene like this once in a horror movie. They
subdued an entire community by putting some kind of
weird drug in the water. Is that what's going on here?
All right. Uh. Today... I'd like to talk about music.
'cause that's what I am. I am the music teacher. and
it's what I love. Now. When you think about various
people and what they like... you think. Well. This one
likes this. this one likes that. Me. I'm what you call
eclectic.
SKETCH -- Eclectic?
TANYA - What's that?
FRANKIE- You plug your box into the wall and it gives you power.
Stupid.
AHMAL- Not electric. Eclectic. Stupid.
deloris Let me simplify it for you. When I say eclectic...
what I mean is. I like lots of different types of
music. Opera. Rock and roll. Rap. I like it all.
But my favourite. my absolute all-time favourite...
are the girl groups from the '50 s and '60 s.
TAYLOR CHASE - Like who?

22
Students chanting - Taylor! Shut up!
AHMAL- - What an idiot. Man.
deloris - Ladies and gentleman...
RITA WATSON- - Taylor. Shut up!
deloris - Let us not badger this one who wants this information.
TANYA - Hi. Are we dumb?
deloris I like Patti LaBelle and the Bluebells. and I like the
Supremes.
TAYLOR CHASE - Who are the Supremes?
TANYA - Oh. Taylor. Shut up!
deloris You don't need to get physical with her.
FRANKIE- - Oh. You're gonna get jumped after school. Taylor.
deloris - Yes. It is a shocking question:"Who are the Supremes?"
You never heard of Diana Ross?
(Deloris sit down in glue)
TAYLOR CHASE - Oh. Diana Ross.
(Kids start snickering)
deloris - Well. Let me tell you. They were the premier group.
Students chanting - Yes!
!
deloris - As you hear. your comrades-in-arms say. "Yes!"
Because they were incredible. And what I love when I
think about music...
AHMAL’ JAMES About time.
deloris is how you can take this type of music... and that type
of music and fuse it together. Mmm!
Students chanting - Fusion.
deloris Yeah. Fusion. I'm really glad you're into this. The
best example I can give you. Now...

23
(Deloris tries to get up and hears a ripping sound, the kids burst out in
laughter)
FRANKIE- You got busted!
Students chanting Fusion! Fusion! Fusion! Fusion! Fusion! Fusion!
Fusion! Fusion! Fusion!
deloris darn it. Stu... Oh. Man! Yeah?
Scene 10
Nuns talk to Deloris about chair incident
REVEREND MOTHER Now. We want you to know that we understand... and that
you're quite free to leave whenever you please.
I'm sure you'll be much better off in show business.
Goodness knows. the money is better. I'm sure bright
lights and sequins are far prettier to look at than
anything we have here.
deloris Do you know what I hate most about this place? There's
nothing to pick up and throw.
REVEREND MOTHER - We understand.
deloris - Yeah.
Sister Mary Patrick- - Bye-bye.
REVEREND MOTHER - Would you like a cup of tea?
Scene 10
Father Maurices office, with Delores eavesdropping
FATHER Oh. This mustn't happen. It can't happen. It would be
criminal. absolutely criminal. If this happened. St
Francis' school and church have been a beacon of
hope... to the people of this community for many. Many
years. lf. If they close down the school. I bet...

24
It would be an absolute and total disaster. You're
absolutely sure that there's nothing can be done?
MR CRISP - I'm afraid not. Father.
FATHER - I was hoping that maybe... we could keep it open until
the end of the school year.
School board1- - We know it's unfortunate. - We don't like it either.
School board2- The Archdiocese has decided that St Francis should
close... at the end of the current semester.
FATHER - Why does it have to happen so quickly?
MR CRISP - You're totally in the red... with very little hope of
recovery. You must realize. Father Maurice... the
community contributions have been nil. The school has
no outstanding academic or achievement records. I've
been exploring the possibility of other uses for the
property.
FATHER - What?
MR CRISP - Yes. And the bottom line is it's more valuable... as a
parking lot than it is as a school. I'm sorry.
School board1- The recommendation is to close.
FATHER Well. I suppose there's nothing more to be said. Well.
Thank you.
School board2. You should be commended for your work... and your
excellent analysis of the situation.
MR CRISP Oh. Well. Thank you very much. But I do wish you'd
consider my application for early retirement. After
all. I have been working for the Archdiocese doing this
work... for almost 30 years now. and I would just
like my due.
School board1-- Why. Absolutely.
MR CRISP - Thank you. Thank you. Now let's go out and have some
lunch now. Shall we?
School board2-- Excellent idea.
End of scene

25
Scene 11
Deloris With the 3 sisters and REVEREND MOTHER
SISTER MARY ROBERT- - What?
Sister Mary Patrick- - What?
Sister Mary Lazarus- - When?
deloris - The end of the semester.
REVEREND MOTHER - Where did you hear that?
deloris I happened to be eavesdropping in s... Father Maurice's
office. and I heard him talking... To a bunch of
people.
REVEREND MOTHER - Oh. We were afraid this might happen. I've been
expecting it for some time.
deloris - Well. What do we do now?
REVEREND MOTHER - Well. We'll probably be reassigned...and the children
will be bused to a public school in another district.
Sister Mary Lazarus- What a stupid thing to do! This is the only school left
in this community.
Sister Mary Patrick- Well. We've gotta do something. Otherwise we're gonna
lose our students...and we're not gonna get them back.
deloris Well. Then I guess we are going to do something.
Sister Mary Lazarus- Now. You do mean "we." don't you? We!
deloris - Yes. Yes. We!
SISTER MARY ROBERT- You mean. You're not leaving?
deloris Listen. I said I was gonna come and help. Here I am.
REVEREND MOTHER - Thank you. Deloris.
deloris - Oh. Just call me M-Mary Clarence.
Outside in the hallway
Scene 11a
FATHER - Oh. Reverend Mother.

26
REVEREND MOTHER - Oh. Father Maurice.
FATHER I'd like to speak to you for a moment. My mind is
consumed with trying to deal with...
REVEREND MOTHER - Oh. Sister Mary Clarence.
FATHER - Well. Yes. As a matter of fact.
REVEREND MOTHER Mmm. I am familiar with the dilemma.
FATHER I'm told that she presided at the ecclesiastical
equivalent...of a pep rally last night.
REVEREND MOTHER - Mm. Yes. I am aware of this.
FATHER - You are? Well. How did you know?
REVEREND MOTHER Oh. You'll find that when one deals with Sister Mary
Clarence... one is smothered with more information
than one wishes to possess.
FATHER Uh. I'm afraid she's becoming quite disruptive.
REVEREND MOTHER Well. Disruption is the way Mary Clarence communicates.
FATHER I worry about raising false hopes among the children.
Advise me. Reverend Mother. Eh. Tell me about your
experiences with Mary Clarence.
REVEREND MOTHER No. I wouldn't want to frighten you. Well. In my
experience. I found it easier...and ultimately quite
effective... to give Mary Clarence a free hand.
FATHER Aren't her ideas extremely radical?
REVEREND MOTHER If I remember correctly...the term "radical" was
applied to us in our day. Or have you forgotten the
trouble we caused Bishop O'Malley?
FATHER Oh. Yes. Bishop O'Malley.
REVEREND MOTHER Give Mary Clarence a chance. If the school is on the
road to closure... at least she'll make it an
interesting ride.
End of scene

27
Scene 12
Classroom scene
deloris Good morning. Ladies and gentlemen. Please take your
seats. Do it quickly and quietly. Welcome to the first
day of your new scholastic lives. This is no longer a
bird course. The bird has flown. If you want to pass
this course... you gonna have to earn it. 'cause I
have no problems... not one. Failing each and every
one of you.
SKETCH -- Yo. I never thought this was no bird course.
deloris - I'm glad for you. Very. Very glad. 'cause this is a
new day. Things are going to be a little different
around here.
FRANKIE- - Oh. Yeah?
deloris - Uh-huh.
FRANKIE- - Like how? Like when I talk. Fran-kay. You don't.
(Deloris grabs a note being passed)
deloris Is this somethin' you wanna share with the rest of the
class?
TANYA - No. I'm just kickin' it with my girl.
deloris - Well. I'll tell you what. You gonna kick it with me. Or
I'm gonna kick you out. What you think of that?
MARGARET - Cold.
deloris - Put 'em away. And you. This is not Elizabeth Arden.
Miss Thing. You want to beat that mug of yours. You do
it at home before you come to my class. You understand
me? Put it away. And you. Sketch. I like you a lot.
But I don't want you... Catchin' Z's in my class no
more.
SKETCH - I be tired. I got a job ...
deloris Baby. Save it for Oprah. This is a brand-new day.
Ladies and gentlemen. A brand-new day. We're gonna
start with respect. You're gonna respect me. and I'm
gonna respect you. And the first thing you're gonna
do. gentlemen. Is take off those hats.
(Class giggling)

28
deloris This is a brand-new day. I guess that means you're
gonna be combin' your hair before you come to my class.
And I know you laughin' over there. So you think this
is very funny. Miss Thing? There is no sun in this
room. You will not get a tan. Take off those
sunglasses. That goes for you too. If they're not
prescription. I don't wanna see 'em. I want to see
you. I want to look into your eyes. I want you to be
able to look into mine. Yes. Miss Watson?
RITA WATSON- We don't want no new way. The old way was fine for us.
Right?
Students chanting - Right.
Students chanting - That's right.
RITA WATSON- Okay. So if you're gonna fail us. then you might as
well go ahead... 'cause. Um. I ain't doin' nothin'.
deloris Fine. That's how you feel. there's the door. Don't let
it hit you in the butts on your way out.
SKETCH - Yo. Yo. Sis. I can't afford to fail this class.
deloris Hey. You better tell your friends you can't afford to
fail this class.
TAYLOR CHASE My parents wouldn't be pleased.
RITA WATSON- Come on. Y'all. We. We ain't gotta take this from her.
Come on. Shi... Sketch. come on, man. Fran-kay?
FRANKIE- - Yo. Rita. You know I'm usually down for stuff like
this... but. Yo. I'm gonna take care of business this
time.
deloris A little lonely out on that limb by yourself. Miss
Watson?
RITA WATSON- So much for friendship. (Rita walks out of class)
(Song in the background)
If you wanna be somebody
If you wanna
go somewhere
You better wake up
and pay attention
deloris All right. Let's get down to business. ladies and
gentlemen. You wanna go somewhere and you wanna be
somebody... you better wake up and pay attention.

29
(song)
If you wanna be somebody
If you wanna
go somewhere
You better wake up
and pay attention
Pay attention, wake up, baby
You gotta wake up,
Scene 13
Conference room with fathers and nuns
Honey. 'cause the real world is out there.
And they don't care how hip you think you are...
or who you kick it with. It don't matter. If you don't
have an education. you don't have anything. And
that's the truth. Honey.
deloris But we cannot do it by ourselves. We need the help.
I mean. We're here for the children. right? If not for
them. For who? Look. Let's start with the curriculum.
Okay? Let's talk about boring.
Sister Mary Lazarus- I can barely stay awake to teach it.
Sister Mary Patrick- I have some good ideas for goosing up sex ed. And what
are we gonna do about the graffiti? It's awful. I
mean. Not that a bucket of paint couldn't fix it.
FATHER IGNATIUS - I'd love to see us teach new math.
deloris - Yes!
FATHER THOMAS No. No. You've got to face facts. We're closing down.
deloris Yes. We may be closing. but we're not closed yet. So
why don't we go out with a little class?
End of scene
Scene 14
Classroom scene
deloris Come on. People. let's hear it again.
Students chanting If you wanna be somebody. if you wanna go somewhere...
you better wake up and pay attention.

30
deloris - Come on. Make me believe what you're sayin'.
TANYA - Can we waken this up a little?
deloris - Well. Yeah. If you think you can.
MARGARET - Okay. Tonya.
TANYA (singing) If you wanna be somebody
Students singing
If you wanna
go somewhere
You better wake up
and pay attention
If you wanna be somebody
If you wanna
go somewhere
You better wake up
and pay attention
deloris Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Talk about
a wake-up call. Where did this come from?
TANYA Well. This is a music class. Isn't it?
deloris Yes. This is a music class. Are you tellin' me you guys
can sing? No. Really. That was great! My... I just
figured out how I'm gonna get you through this music
class. Oh. No. Really? Yes. Yes. I'm gonna turn you
guys into a choir.
FRANKIE- Nope!
SKETCH - Come on. I mean. Most choirs are just a bunch of
people... singing wack songs that nobody care about.
deloris Maybe not. Maybe not.
End of scene
Scene 15a
SKETCH - Look. Sis. I think we should just 86 this choir
thing. I mean. Some of us actually got reps to think
about.

31
FRANKIE- Hey. Yo. Word up. If we start wearin' robes and singin'
hymns and all that... My homeboys are gonna think we're
a bunch of punks. Right
AHMAL- - Slim. That's not true. Man.
FRANKIE- - And I ain't with that. - That's not really true.
AHMAL- 'Cause in Nigeria. Singin' and wearin' ceremonial robes
is a mark of honor.
SKETCH -- Oh. Man!
AHMAL- - In fact. It was...
FRANKIE- - Spare us Roots, man! All I'm sayin' is. Can't we sing
somethin' that ain't gonna get the crap kicked out of
us. Yo?
deloris Now. I understand you gotta think about your image...
'cause image is very important to everybody. Because.
Of course. Your friends are gonna dictate your
actions... through your life. So. Hey. I wouldn't want
you to step away from them and be an individual.
That would almost be too much.
FATHER THOMAS Oh. That's very funny. I'm sure you still won't be as
humorous... after you talk to Father Maurice who wants
to see you right now!
Scene 16
Father’s office
FATHER Sister. During school hours. we are responsible for the
children. They can't go on a field trip without
parental consent.
deloris Okay. I'll buy that. I made a mistake. I'm sorry. It
will never happen again.
FATHER Indeed. It won't. because from right now...
authorized or unauthorized field trips are cancelled.
deloris Bu... But why?
FATHER Sister. In a very. Very short time. St Francis will
close for good. I'd like that time to be safe and
pleasant for everyone concerned. Do I make myself
clear?

32
deloris - Yes. Abundantly. - Thank you.
End of scene
Scene 18
Old music room
deloris This used to be the old music room. The acoustics in
this room are incredible. You can't buy them.
Maria - Oh. Look.
FRANKIE- - It's like a monster's crypt.
MARGARET Oh. God. This is gross.
FRANKIE- Oh. No. This is wack. This is wack.
deloris Come on. You guys. I'd hate to see those spiders...
get into those weaves I know some of you are wearing. I
can tell.
TANYA Let's go.
SKETCH - Go. Go. Go. C'mere. C'mere. Bugs.
deloris Now. Does anybody play an instrument?
danny I can play piano.
deloris - C'mere. - Yeah. Right.
FRANKIE- - He can play that? - Oh. He can. Wait.
deloris It. It. It still has some sound in it. Gimme an "A" on
this. see if it works. See? Very nice. Very nice.
Okay. Let's see. Sketch. "Mary Had a Little Lamb."
Go ahead. Sing it.
SKETCH -- Yo. I don't sing. I rap.
FRANKIE- Yeah. That's right. I rap. Too. But you wouldn't know
anything about that. Now would you?
deloris Oh. Well. Excuse me. Fran-kay. Hey-ho. I happen to be
a big fan of Run D.N.A.
AHMAL- Run D.M. C... my sister. Run D.M.C.

33
deloris He got it. It was a joke. Will you lighten up? Look.
I like Big Daddy Kane. Okay? Will you just rap for me.
Please?
FRANKIE- Oh. You wanna hear "Mary Had a Little Lamb." right?
deloris - Yeah.
FRANKIE- - Check it.
Mary had a little lamb.
SKETCH -- Feet was white as snow.
FRANKIE- - Her. Her. Her fleece. Yo.
SKETCH -- Oh. Okay.
FRANKIE- - Okay. Mary had a little lamb.
SKETCH -- Her fleece was white as snow.
FRANKIE- - And yo. And everywhere that Mary went.
SKETCH -- The lamb was sure to go.
FRANKIE- - Boo. Yah! Boo. Yah.
SKETCH -- Boo. Yah!
deloris Not bad. So. We'll go on. Ahmal. Sing for me.
kids- Come on. Ahmal.
kids- Come on. Ahmal.
AHMAL- (singing) Mary had a little lamb Lamb Yeah!
deloris A little tentative. But hey. we can work on that. That
was very nice.
AHMAL- Well. You know. Shaka Zula said word sounds have power.
FRANKIE- Yeah. Well Chaka Khan said. "It's my thing." So what?
deloris Tanya. Let's hear it. "Mary had a little lamb."
Tanya- (singing) Mary had a little lamb
deloris That was beautiful! Go ahead. Girl. You just saved that
lamb's life. No lamb chops tonight. Huh? Very nice.
What do you say we try it. just for fun. As a group?
Huh? You up for that?

34
Students (singing) Mary had a little lamb
On three... Give me an "A." He's so multitalented.
isn't he? That was very nice the way you did that.
Well. Thank you. Yes. All right. On three.
One. Two. Three.
deloris Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay! Maybe I went a little too fast
for you. Okay? We'll. We'll go back and take it nice
and slow. Uh. Maria. Let me hear "Mary Had a Little
Lamb."
Tanya- Come on. Maria.
deloris - What's the matter? - C'mon. Maria. What's up?
TAYLOR CHASE - Come on. Maria.
SKETCH -- She's shy. She's just shy.
deloris What?
Maria I don't know "Mary Had a Little Lamb."
Students chanting - Oh.
FRANKIE- - Oh. No!
deloris Hey. Hey. Hey. hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Excuse me! It's not
funny. It is not Maria's fault...
FRANKIE- - No?
deloris if she does not know that Mary had a lamb. It is not
and I say this to you... it is not Maria's fault...
because maybe. Maybe where Maria came from. Mary had a
dog.
AHMAL- - Yes!
deloris - Or a little kitty cat. Or a little baldheaded brother
named Bart. It is not her fault that she doesn't know
it... and we're not gonna hold that against her. Are
we?
Students chanting - Nah!
deloris - No. We are not. You sing whatever it is that is in you
to sing.

35
Students chanting - Right.
deloris - All right.
Maria Thank you. Okay. Uh...
- (singing) The love boat
-
Students chanting - Ah. Don't sing that.
Maria-(singing) Soon will be making another run All aboard!
Deloris Okay. Okay. Stop. “The Love Boat."
All right. All right. That's nice. That's...
Mary Lazarus this is your soul mate.
Sister Mary Lazarus- Do you know the theme song from Gilligan's Island, too?
I do. It's one of my favorites.
Deloris Listen. You guys. This is not about whether you can
sing or not. We know you can sing. We've heard you do
it. This is about singing together as a group. Hit
it! All right. On three. One. Two...
(Rita outside looking in Deloris motions inviting her to join,
Rita walks away.)
Scene 20
Piano scene Tonya and Rita
Tonya (Singing)
When Jesus is
My portion
A constant friend
Is He
His eye
Is on the sparrow
Tonya I mess up on that part every time!
The sparrow
Tonya What's the matter. Rita?
RITA WATSON- That was beautiful.
Tonya Don't even try. Girl. 'cause you can sang. Too.
RITA WATSON- Yeah. But you got that type of voice. you could really
make it.
Tonya Uh-uh. This is for church. What's wrong with you. Girl?

36
RITA WATSON- I don't know. I just been thinkin' about things.
My mother thinks singin' is a dead end. No security.
Tonya And that's cool. Rita. But what do you think?
RITA WATSON- I don't know.
Tonya Look. Let's do the song I was doin'... but this time
let's do it together.
RITA WATSON- I can't sing with you. Girl.
Tonya C'mon. I know you're with it. You take the top.
and I'll take the bottom. Just try it.
RITA WATSON- - All right.
Tonya & RITA WATSON- (singing)
I sing
Because I'm happy
Because I'm happy
And I sing
Because I'm free
Because
His eye
Is on the sparrow
(nun walks up)
SISTER MARY ROBERT- Please don't stop.
Tonya I'll see you later. Rita. (Tonya leaves)
RITA WATSON- Yeah.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- You have a beautiful voice.
RITA WATSON- So what?
SISTER MARY ROBERT- So? So why aren't you in the choir? I know you want to
be.
RITA WATSON- Yeah. Well. There are a lot of things I wanna do. But I
ain't gonna get to do 'em. So...
SISTER MARY ROBERT- Yeah. I know. I. I used to feel that way. Too. You
know. You should talk to Sister Mary Clarence. She
helped me so much. Um. Rita? You're just barely 17

37
Now. How do you know what you're going to get to do and
not do?
RITA WATSON- Have you walked around this neighborhood lately? I'm
not exactly livin' in the land of opportunity. I might
want to sing. but it ain't gonna happen. So. What's
the point?
Welcome to the real world. Sister.
Sister Mary Patrick- Rita? Ri-Rita! Rita? Rita. You...
Scene 20a
(SMC see Rita leave)
Deloris What's the matter? This chick's got a lot of attitude.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- No. No. No. I think it's deeper than that. Si...
Delor... Uh. Sister Mary Clarence... I think that she
needs help.
Deloris Well. Why you lookin' at me?
SISTER MARY ROBERT- Well. Okay. I thought that maybe you could help her.
You know. Kind of the way you helped me?
Deloris No. No. No. No. You were different.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- Look. She really. really wants to sing.
Deloris She any good?
SISTER MARY ROBERT- Oh. Yes. Yeah. I think so. God bless you.
Sister Mary Clarence.
Deloris All right. All right. Chapel time.
SISTER MARY ROBERT-- God bless you.
deloris- Now. Get in there.
Scene 20b
(Deloris caught up with Rita)
Deloris Ah. Rita! Hey!
RITA WATSON-- What?

38
Deloris Listen. You have just a little bit more attitude than I
like... but I've decided I'm gonna dog you no matter
what. Okay?
RITA WATSON-- I'm listenin' to you. Go ahead.
deloris- Okay. I know you want to sing. See. I love to sing.
Nothing makes me happier. I either wanted to be a
singer or the head of the Ice Capades. Hey. Do you
know who the Ice Capades are?
Don't roll your eyes. They were very cool.
I went to my mother. who gave me this book...
called Letters To A Young Poet. Rainer Maria Rilke.
He's a fabulous writer. A fellow used to write to him
and say:
"I want to be a writer. Please read my stuff."
And Rilke says to this guy: "Don't ask me about being a
writer. lf. When you wake up in the morning. you can
think of nothing but writing... then you're a writer."
I'm gonna say the same thing to you.
If you wake up in the mornin' and you can't think of
anything but singin' first... then you're supposed to
be a singer. Girl.
RITA WATSON- What's the point of your story. Sister? ... What's the
point?
Deloris Read the book. And don't roll your eyes about the Ice
Capades. It was a very good living. I just want
to point that out.
End of scene
Scene 21
(Classroom kids singing scales, Rita rejoins class)
Deloris That's good. Let's try some energy. Hey!
And as a group. From the diaphragm.
(Rita walks in and joins class)
Welcome back. Hey! Let's do Fran-kay. Hey!
Hey! Ho! Hey! See. Go right down the scale.
Okay. La Ouch.
Yes. Go on. Go on. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
Sister Mary Lazarus Okay. You got it? This is so corny. What were you
doin' spinnin' this around?
Deloris Now. Listen. You're always talkin' about Shaka Zulu.

39
Oh, happy day
Oh, happy day
AHMAL- Oh, happy day
Do you think Shaka Zulu could repel a bunch of
troops... ith a little teeny-tiny voice like you're
usin'? Here. Gimme "Oh. Happy Day" in "C."
You listen to what I'm gonna do. Okay?
This is you.
That ain't gonna scare nobody. Shaka.
That's what I want you to do. Okay?
Take it up a half a step for me. All right. Repel me.
Deloris That ain't gonna scare nobody!
AHMAL- Oh, happy day
Deloris See. Now you've got it.
Class scales and teaching scene over
Scene 22
(Assembly with choir)
Deloris Okay. You guys. Relax. Okay? Take a deep breath.
Be fine! Don't worry. You ready?
(Class singing)
Oh, happy day
Oh, happy day
Oh, happy day
deloris C'mere. C'mere and stand over here.
-
Oh, happy day
- When Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
- Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
- Washed my sins away
deloris- Y'all gonna have to do better than this.
- Oh, happy day
- Oh, happy day
- Oh, happy day

40
deloris- All right. You guys. Take your cue from me.
You.
- Sing.
‘AHMAL’ JAMES- Oh, happy day.
Oh, happy day
- Oh, happy day
- Oh, happy day
- When Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
- When my Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
He washed my sins away
deloris- Let's party. –
He taught me how
Oh, he taught me how
- To wash
- To wash, to wash
- Fight and pray
- To fight and pray
Fight and pray
- And he taught me how to live rejoicing
- And live
- Rejoicing
- Yes, He did, oh yeah
- Every
- Every
- Every day
- Every day
- Oh, yeah
- Every day
Oh, oh, happy day
Oh, happy day
- Oh, happy day, yeah
- Oh, happy day
- When Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
- When my Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
- When Jesus washed
- My sins away
- Oh, happy day
Come on, I'm talkin'
'bout happy days

41
- Oh, happy day
- Oh, yeah
- Sing it, sing it,
sing it, yeah, yeah
- Oh, happy day
- I'm talkin' 'bout
- Oh, oh, happy day
Deloris Take your bow. Go on. Take a bow. All right!
Ladies and gentlemen... I believe we are now a choir.
Scene over
Scene 23 discovered trophies
Sister Mary Lazarus- Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Show me the man
that a woman can trust. So. Where does it say.
"On the eighth day he dusted"?
Sister Mary Patrick-- Look at all these trophies.
"All State Music Competition. 1971, 1970, 1969 .
SISTER MARY ROBERT-- Wow!
Sister Mary Lazarus- Looks like this school's been winning competitions for
a long time.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- Yeah. Do you think they still have these contests?
Sister Mary Patrick- Focus.
Scene 23a Classroom
Contest announcement
Sister Mary Patrick- What if I told you that we have just entered you all...
in the All State Music Competition?
Sister Mary Lazarus- - Six weeks from Saturday in Hollywood! Hollywood?
Deloris - What?
Students chanting - Let's go!
AHMAL JAMES- We be doin' some crazy stuff. Man!
MARGARET- Oh. My God. That is so cool!

42
Sister Mary Lazarus- Well. Sister. You put this choir together. We took our
cue from you. And we found out that in the past. This
school has won a lot of competitions. What's the
matter with you kids? Don't you have any faith in
yourselves? We have faith in you.
TANYA- Hollywood. - W-W-Wait. Are you sure we're good enough
to compete against other choirs? I mean. Right now
I don't think so.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- Y-You could be if you rehearse every day before class
and after school. So. How 'bout it?
RITA WATSON-- Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Sisters. Sisters! We
need to discuss this. I mean. What's up. Y'all?
Y'all ready for an all-state thing?
Students chanting No. No! Absolutely not! You guys. No. We shouldn't go.
FRANKIE-- ` Oh. Yo! C'mon. Y'all. Don't be a bunch of punks. Man.
Listen. Nobody has ever cared what we was good at...
except for Sister Mary Clarence and her homegirls up
there. you know what I'm sayin'?
Sister Mary Lazarus-- Oh. Fran-kay!
FRANKIE-- Her and her sisters were hookin' us up. Yo. Plus. We
can go to Hollywood. You know what I'm sayin'?
Hollywood!
MARGARET Wait a minute! What're we gonna wear?
TANYA- Airhead!
SG5 - Clothes. Margaret.
SG4 You guys. You guys. Come on. You guys. We owe this to
ourselves. I think we should do it.
SG6- What about our boyfriends?
MARGARET- Yeah. Oh. Please. Jessica. - Well. Y'all.
SG6 there may be some all-boy choirs at this competition.
TANYA- We're in.
MARGARET- We're in.
Sister Mary Patrick- And I say that if we win this thing. Then the
Archdiocese is gonna be pleased as punch.
And maybe we'll have a prayer to keep this school open.
Eh?

43
Sister Mary Lazarus-- Right.
Deloris So. Does this mean we're going to the all-state
competition?
Students chanting - Yes!
Students chanting - Yes!
FRANKIE- Let's turn this mother out and rock the house! Dope!
Sister Mary Lazarus- They wouldn't bring drugs in here. Would they?
Sister Mary Patrick-- No.
SISTER MARY ROBERT-- No.
End of scene
Scene 24
Fathers office scene
FATHER No. No. Absolutely not!
Deloris How can you keep saying no? Now. You've heard them.
They're good. They are so ready for this.
FATHER Sister. Once again you've made a promise to the
students that you can't keep. Now. I told you before.
Field trips are absolutely out of the question!
Deloris This is not a field trip. This is something that can
save the school.
FATHER- You have my answer.
deloris- And it's the wrong one!
FATHER Sister Mary Clarence! You're being insubordinate.
Deloris I know. And. Uh. Surely you can understand why. I mean.
These kids have worked so hard for this.. and they're
good. they're really good. They could win! Y...
This school used to win that competition every year.
Every year they won. Now. Come on. If they're gonna
close this school. Let's go out with a bang.
FATHER IGNATIUS Yes. Let her. Very awesome.

44
FATHER Well...Very well. Then. you seem to have the support of
everyone. So I'll... I'll give my permission.
(SISTER MARY ROBERT- Father Ignatius Father Thomas and Deloris clap)
FATHER You've got to raise the money yourself. And you've got
to get parental consent for each child.
Deloris I can do that. That is not a problem. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. My brothers.
Come on.
(End of scene)
Scene 25
Rita’s house
(Rita at home with headphones on)
RITA WATSON- (SINGING)
Everything
Everything
Joyful, joyful
Joy...
J... Joy...
Fill us with
the light of day
Fill us with
the light of...
Fill us with
the light
Mrs W- Rita?
RITA WATSON--
Come and join the chor...
Mighty chorus
Which the mornin'...
Father of love
is rising o'er...
- Ooh ooh ooh
Mrs W- Rita?
RITA WATSON- Mama. What are you doing home so early?
Mrs W Mrs Gibbs needs me to do her hair.

45
- What are you doin'?
RITA WATSON-- I was just foolin' around with some stuff.
Mrs W- Give me that. Please.
RITA WATSON-- Huh?
Mrs W Give me that. And the ipod. Too.
What is this?
RITA WATSON- It's just some music. Ma. Sister Mary Clarence wants
us to learn it... for the choir.
Mrs W Now. Just when were you gonna tell me that you're in a
choir? Rita. How many times do we have to go through
this? Singing does not put food on the table. Singing
does not pay the bills. Singing is no guarantee to a
future. even if you have got talent.
RITA WATSON- - Mama. Did you know I can sing?
Mrs W - So could your daddy. And he died still tryin' to make
it.
RITA WATSON- But what does that have to do with me? Mom. We're.
we're a good choir. they want to take us to this allstate
music competition. We could win. We're good.
Mrs W- Baby. If you want to win in life. then keep your
nose...In them books and out of the clouds.
RITA WATSON-- Mommy. If you could just listen to me. Let me explain.
Mrs W Baby. I know how you feel. Really. I do. But there
are a lot of talented people right down there on the
streets...singin' their "shoulda-coulda-woulda's."
Now. Is that how you want to end up?
RITA WATSON-- you kNow That's not what I wa...
Mrs W Good! Then you don't have time for any choir 'cause you
got to study.
RITA WATSON- Mommy. We have a chance of winning.
Mrs W The choir and the competition are out.
RITA WATSON- - Mommy.
Mrs W - If you "But. Mama" me one more time...

46
RITA WATSON- Yes. Ma'am.
End of scene
Scene 26
Nuns planning fundraiser and competition
Now. I said the choir and the competition is out. You
understand?
Deloris As far as I can tell. With food and lodging and
costumes and transportation and gas...
This is gonna cost us about $2000.00
SISTER MARY ROBERT-- Oh. My!
Deloris which is a lot of money. Ah.
Sister Mary Lazarus- Don't look at me. I took a vow of poverty.
Sister Mary Patrick- The only person I can think of that ever made money as
a nun: Sally Field. God love her.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- $2000 ? Might as well be a million!
Deloris I mean. It's absolutely do-able. I just think we have
to get the community involved.
It's about time this community took care of the school.
I mean. All the kids go here.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- - Yeah. That's true.
Sister Mary Patrick-- We could have a car wash... - I think that's the only
way.
Sister Mary Patrick-- Or a bake sale.
RITA WATSON-- Sister Mary Clarence.
SISTER MARY ROBERT-- Hey! Oh. Rita. I'm glad you're here. Um. Would you
take one of these consent form and make sure that your
mom signs it?
Sister Mary Lazarus- - If we can raise the buckaroos. Ha.
RITA WATSON- Look. I need to talk to you. I have to quit the choir.
I got a lot of reasons I can't explain. And I'm sorry;
but I gotta leave the choir.
Sister Mary Lazarus- Give us back our consent form.
deloris- Stop that!

47
Sister Mary Lazarus- - Well.
Scene over
Scene 27
Rita’s house Deloris knocks…
Mrs W Just a minute. Please.
Deloris Hi. I'm. Uh. Sister Mary Clarence. L...
Mrs W I know who you are. What can I do for you. Sister?
Deloris Well. Uh. Rita left the choir...and I was kinda hopin'
I could get you to talk her into comin' back.
Mrs W Oh. I don't think I can do that. You know something.
Sister. I really don't want to discuss this with you.
As you can see. I've got some work to do. And. Uh. If
you'll excuse me. good day to you.
Mrs Wilson closes the door in sisters face scene over
Scene 28
Fundraising scene
Deloris Hey. We're here to collect some money from you.
That means we need your help.
We're not playing. Put that basket out there!
Get that money. Give that money. Baby. Give that
money. C'mon. Girls. You do what I do.
- Hey!
- Ahh!
Get up off of that thing
and dance till you feel better
Get up off of that thing
Just try to release that pressure
Sing!
Get up off of that thing
- Go 'head. Girl.
- Dance till you feel better
- Hey!
- Get up off of that thing
Try to release
that pressure
Callin'out
around the world

48
Are you ready for
a brand-new beat
Sing it if you know it.
Summer's here
and the time is right
For dancin'
in the street
- Get down!
- They're dancin'in Chicago
Get up!
- And down in New Orleans
- Dancin'in the street
- Yeah!
- In New York City
Dancin'in the street
- Oh, it doesn't matter
what you wear
- Oh. Yeah!
Just a long as
you are there
So, come on
Every guy grab a girl
Everywhere
around the world
- They'll be dancin'
- Dancin'in the street
- They're dancin'in the street
- Dancin'in the street
This is an invitation
across the nation
A chance for folks to meet
- Get up off of that thing
- Dancin'in the street
I said get up off of that thing
All right! All right!
- Get up off of that thing
- Come on up.
- No. You're right.
- You okay?
- Okay.
- Okay.
Get up off of that thing
You're all right.
- Okay.
- Get up off of that thing
Ow! Ow! Ow!
- I said get up off of that thing
- Dancin'in the street
I'm done now. I'm goin'.
Get up off of that thing
In the street
Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Get up off of that thing
- Dancin'in the street
Ow! Ow! Ow!

49
Get up off of that thing
Hey! Hey! I said
just get up off of that thing
I'm goin'. Thanks.
- Get up off of that thing
- Dancin'in the street
- I said get up off of that thing
- Dancin'in the street
Ah!
Scene over,
Scene 29
money counting scene next
Sister Mary Patrick And the grand total is. minus expenses...
Drumroll. Please. $1920
Sister Mary Lazarus Wow! That oughta get us down there and back. Ooh!
SISTER MARY ROBERT You're... You're not driving again. Are you?
Sister Mary Lazarus Listen. I can drive anything on wheels. You have a
problem with that?
SISTER MARY ROBERT - Uh-uh.
Sister Mary Lazarus C'mon. It's been a long day. We all better get to bed.
C'mon.
SISTER MARY ROBERT Yeah. Yeah. We got a lot to do in a few days. Oh. And
don't forget to get the consent forms from the kids.
Deloris Ha. All right. What?
Sister Mary Patrick - Nothing. No. Something.
Deloris - What?
Sister Mary Patrick I just... I just can't believe you came here and did it
again. I mean. You m-m-made all this happen.
Everything's gonna be fine now.
Deloris You think so?
Sister Mary Patrick I really think so.
Deloris Thanks. Do you want some help?
Sister Mary Patrick - Please.
Deloris - All right.

50
Sister Mary Patrick Look. We have another helper. Oh. Go get it. Hurry up.
Deloris I don't know about you sometimes. You. You just scare
me.
Scene 30
End of scene
Kids confront Rita about quitting
FRANKIE Yeah!
Maria Yo. look who it is. Man.
TANYA - Hey. Yo. Rita!
SKETCH -- Yo. Rita! C'mere!
Maria - Yo. What's up. Rita?
MARGARET - Hey. What's up with her?
Maria So. Uh. Sister Mary Clarence said you quit the choir.
RITA WATSON Yeah. I did. So?
Maria So. Inquiring minds want to know.
MARGARET - Yeah.
RITA WATSON - If I want to quit the choir. that's my business.
FRANKIE Sometimes I feel that this whole choir gig's a big joke
to everybody. Yo!
AHMAL- I'm sure we'll have a. Uh. plethora of other
opportunities.
Students chanting - Yeah. The kid's right. Right!
SKETCH - Rita. look. We got a real shot. You know. If we're
ever gonna do anything worth somethin'...
we've got to stick together. I mean. Don't you
understand? This is all we got. This is all right
here. You have to be down. I want you to. Rita.
FRANKIE Bye. Rita!
End of scene

51
Scene 31
Boarding the bus
REVEREND MOTHER Come along. Children. Quickly now. Quickly. Okay.
Margaret.
Sister Mary Patrick - There! Ooh! Oh. This is a mess.
REVEREND MOTHER - Is that everybody now? We've got
RITA WATSON Wait for me! Wait for me. Thank you. Sister.
Deloris Nice to see you.
Sister Mary Patrick Oh! Excuse me. Consent form. A must.
Thank you.
Deloris - Now. C'mon. C'mon. C'mon.
End of scene
Scene 32
Father’s office
MR CRISP - Look what I found in the library.
FATHER - "Deloris Van Cartier."
MR CRISP - Mm-hmm.
FATHER - A lounge singer?
MR CRISP - I knew I'd seen her somewhere before.
FATHER "Girlfriend of a vicious mobster." Oh. Dear! A gun
moll.
MR CRISP Sister Mary Christine... Uh. Clift...
Uh. Sister... Sister Mary Fake!
FATHER I'll have to call the officials and remove St Francis
from competition at once!
MR CRISP Well. No. No. I don't think that's such a good idea.
FATHER Well. What would you suggest?
MR CRISP Well. She's our responsibility. I think we should
handle it personally.
End of scene

52
Scene 33
Drive to LA Father angry driving the van…
FATHER IGNATIUS Thomas. You don't usually drive.
Perhaps one of us who has a driver's license should
take...
FATHER THOMAS Nonsense!
FATHER Thomas. Uh. Thomas. I know... I know you're busy.
but see that little stick on the left there?
That... That's your turning signal.
FATHER THOMAS - Yeah!
FATHER Perhaps... Perhaps the other drivers wouldn't be so
hostile... if you'd consider using it.
FATHER THOMAS I've had enough of this. Where in the Sam Hill did you
people learn how to drive?
All Fathers except Thomas- No! Turn!
FATHER THOMAS - Jackass!
MR CRISP - Thomas! Jesus Christ!
Scene 34
Rita’s House
End of scene
Mrs W Rita! I'm home. Rita? Rita. Rita?
(reads Rita’s note) "Dear Mama. I went to the All State Music Competition.
I never meant to hurt you. but I had to follow my
heart. Please forgive me. I love you. Rita."
End of scene

53
Scene 35
At the competition
Announcer - Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. ladies and gentlemen...
to the th Annual All State Music Competition...
a gathering of the most talented young musicians...
in the state of California.
Sister Mary Patrick Let's go. Margaret. That is Margaret. Isn't it?
I can't tell who it is under all that paint. Hello?
MARGARET Sister. I hate this thing. I mean. It does absolutely
nothing for my figure. Could I wear something tighter
you know. More form-fitting?
Sister Mary Patrick - No. Dear. Listen to me. You're here to impress those
judges with your beautiful voice... not your heinie.
Come on. Let's go.
Choir 1
- He sent His man
- He sent His man
- Unto her day
- Unto her day
- To tell where she
- To tell where she
- Was waiting
- Was where
- And all she said
- And oh when will she be
Maria - Oh. Rita. Look what you did!
RITA WATSON - Oh. Maria. I'm sorry.
Sister Mary Patrick I know. Put one on the other side. Start a fashion
trend.
AHMAL- You know. The women of the Mangbetu tribes...
put lines on their cheeks as signs of fertility. Maria.
Sister Mary Patrick - Well. On second thought. Off. Take it off. Take it off
now. Please.
RITA WATSON - I got it.
Maria - Thanks.
FRANKIE - Dang. Man! Dang!
Sister Mary Patrick - What. What. What. What. What?

54
FRANKIE Look. This thing ripped. Now what the heck am I
supposed to do now. Huh?
Sister Mary Patrick Listen to me. Don't fret. My mother used to say.
"Nothing is impossible if you always carry with you...
a little bit of faith and a big roll of duct tape."
- Hello!
SKETCH -- Oh. Man! Look at my hair! Yo. Frankie. you like my
hair. Man?
FRANKIE No. I think it looks like a bowl of lard and you look
wack.
SKETCH - Man. I'm just gonna wash it out.
Maria I'm so nervous. L-I think I'm gonna throw up. L-I don't
think I can go on.
Sister Mary Lazarus Just think of it this way: Never mind how you feel.
Think how great you're gonna make them feel. That
audience. when y'all sing so beautifully.
Now. Take a deep breath. and yawn.
See how that relaxes you? Ooh. My!
Announcer Now. From San Diego...the Oceanview High School
Gospel Choir.
Choir2 –
Lord
Send a revival
Ooh
And let it begin in me
Lord, send a revival
Lord, send a revival
Lord, send a revival
And let it begin in me
Well, now we need a revival
To rock this world today
Satan is loose
and on the rampage
That is why we pray
Yeah
- Lord, send a revival
Girls looking on- They're good. They're really good.
- Send it, Lord
- Lord, send a revival
- Lord, woo-oo-oo-ooh
- Lord, send a revival
And let it begin in me

55
Scene 35a
Fathers arrive at theatre
FATHER IGNATIUS If we're gonna find them. we have to go backstage.
FATHER Yeah. But there's so many here. How we going to find
them?
MR CRISP Oh. Well. that shouldn't be too hard. We just look for
the choir that looks like it just robbed...
a convenience store.
Knock on stage door and giant bouncer opens it
FATHER THOMAS - Great Caesar's ghost!
BEAR- Passes.
Scene 35b
back inside theatre
Announcer Three-time state champions. the Chapman Choir...
from Orange County's Grant High School.
FRANKIE Yo.
Choir3 –
Joyful, joyful
We adore Thee
God of glory
Lord of love
Hearts unfold
like flowers before Thee
Opening to the sun above
AHMAL- - Man. They're singin' our song. Man.
TAYLOR CHASE - They're like an army.
Choir3
...sadness
Drive the dark of doubt away
Giver of immortal...
Scene 35c
Sister Mary Patrick - Notice.

56
SISTER MARY ROBERT - Is this the green room?
Sister Mary Patrick - I guess it is. Yeah.
SISTER MARY ROBERT - Wow!
Sister Mary Patrick Yoo-hoo. Hello! Father Thomas! It's us. Hi!
Oh. My goodness! You're here!
Well. Color me surprised! We weren't expecting you.
The kids are gonna burst when they find out you've come
to support them. Come on.
FATHER THOMAS I'm here with the other Fathers. But we didn't come to
support the children. Father Maurice and Mr Crisp...
are going to pull them out of the competition.
Sister Mary Patrick - Well. Why?
SISTER MARY ROBERT - Why... Why would they want to do that?
FATHER THOMAS Because it turns out Sister Mary Clarence isn't a
sister at all. She's a Las Vegas showgirl.
Sister Mary Patrick - A showgirl! Well!
FATHER THOMAS - Can you believe it?
Sister Mary Patrick Who'd have thunk? Ha... She has so many nun-like
qualities.
Sister Mary Lazarus Not to mention the whole outfit. Ha.
FATHER THOMAS - Yeah!
SISTER MARY ROBERT - Yeah. She d...
FATHER THOMAS Father Maurice and Mr Crisp are looking for them right
now.
SISTER MARY ROBERT Oh. My! Really. Well. That's. Uh. That's interesting.
I think that's a very good idea. and I think that we
should go look for her. Too.
Sister Mary Patrick - Good idea. I do. Too. Oh. I agree. You two coming?
Yeah. Okay. Bye-bye.
SISTER MARY ROBERT - See ya.

57
Scene 35d
Back inside theatre
Choir3
Ever singing
march we onward
FRANKIE - Yo. They got it goin' on.
SKETCH -- And look at those robes. Man. We gonna look like
suckers. Man.
RITA WATSON You know what? All of a sudden I don't feel so good.
Choir3
In the triumph
Song of life
Judge - Yes. Very good. Yes.
Announcer Please welcome the Captain High School...
Scene 36
backstage
Deloris Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Why aren't you guys ready?
Maria - Well. You saw that other choir.
AHMAL- - We can't win against them. Mary Clarence.
FRANKIE Yo. He's right. If we go out there. we'll be laughed
off the stage.
SKETCH - And I didn't come this far to be embarrassed.
Maria And they sang our number and they sang it much better.
RITA WATSON We're not goin' on. We're goin' home.
Deloris So because you think they sang it better... y'all are
ready to leave 'cause you got scared.
Kids mumble yea all together
Deloris Oh. Yeah. No. That's your M.O. See. That's how y'all
operate. "Ooh. Somethin' new. Better run away."
Forget about all the people who busted their behind...

58
to get you here 'cause they believed in you. Let me
remind you of somethin'. Okay? If you wanna go
somewhere and you wanna be somebody...
you better wake up and pay attention.
Because if every time something scary comes up you
decide to run... y'all are gonna be runnin' for the
rest of your lives.
SG6 - You guys. She is right.
SKETCH - Yeah. And if we gonna do this. We gotta be slammin'.
You know what I'm saying?
Choir4-
In the still of the night
Shoo-wop shoo-wah
Shoo-wop shoo-wah
Shoo-wop shoo-wah
- Bum-bum-bum bum-bum-bum
Stage manager- St Francis Academy? Get ready.
Choir4
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
In the still of the night
Scene 36a
Father Maurice backstage
FATHER Forgive me. I'm... I'm terribly sorry. What a sea of
humanity! Sorry.
SKETCH - Yo. Father Maurice. We thought you wasn't coming.
What's happenin'. Man? What's up?
FATHER - How are you? Well! How are you? Yes.
SKETCH -- Well. We’re glad you here.
FATHER - Thank you.
MARGARET Father. We need all the help we can get.
Maria - We're sure to win with you here.
FATHER - Oh. Well. I'm... I'm very glad to be here to. uh.
Support the choir and. Uh... But I'm afraid something

59
All the kids laugh
has just been brought to my attention. Something that
I'm afraid... Well. I don't know how to say this
exactly. But I just have to say that... Well. You...
You children are amazing!
I almost didn't recognize you. Why... Why. There's
such a glow in all of you! Remarkable! You... You just
all look like angels!
Deloris Wait till you hear 'em sing.
All right. You guys. Places. Let's go.
All the kids cheer
FATHER Ah. Yeah. Good luck. Good luck.
MR CRISP Father Maurice. what are you doing?
FATHER Well I. I decided to let them sing.
MR CRISP Oh. G...! Do you know what you've done?
FATHER - Well. What'd I do?
MR CRISP - Well. I mean. D-didn't you tell...the Archdiocese
people when you called them about Sister Mary Fake?
FATHER Uh. Well. I thought I'd tell them when I saw them.
MR CRISP - Well. A-are they here?
FATHER - Uh. Well. I think they're here. Yes. I think they're
here.
MR CRISP - But you haven't told them?
FATHER - Uh. Well. Uh. Not yet.
MR CRISP - Ah. Well. I'm going to tell them. I'm gonna make sure
they know about her. Where the heck are they?
FATHER IGNATIUS - Uh. Uh. Uh. Mr Crisp.
MR CRISP - What?
FATHER IGNATIUS Uh. We'll help you find them. won't we. Guys?

60
MR CRISP - Are you sure?
As a matter of fact. just a few minutes ago I saw
them. They were headed in that direction. down the
hallway.
FATHER THOMAS - Yes. Well. I saw. Too. I saw w... him.
MR CRISP - Well. Let's go!
FATHER THOMAS - This way! Yes!
MR CRISP - Down here? We just came from down here.
FATHER IGNATIUS - I saw 'em right down the hall there.
MR CRISP - Right?
FATHER IGNATIUS - No. No. Really. Mr Crisp. I saw them...
and they were. They were saying something about. Uh.
the ventilation system.
MR CRISP Ventilation system! What have you been drinking? Some
of that sacramental wine again. Father?
FATHER IGNATIUS Uh. Uh. Mr Crisp. Uh. They're right in here. I can hear
voices.
MR CRISP - Oh. I'm sure you can hear voices.
FATHER IGNATIUS - Oh. There they are! After you.
MR CRISP - What the heck are you talking about?
FATHER IGNATIUS - Forgive me!
MR CRISP - Wait a minute! Hey!
FATHER IGNATIUS Hurry! Get something to hold this door with! Hurry. I
mean. 'cause he's a big guy. C'mon.
MR CRISP Hey. Let me outta here.
FATHER THOMAS Not this! This is dessert.
FATHER IGNATIUS - We need something to bar the door with. Give me that
thing!
MR CRISP - Open the door! Hey. It's dark in here.

61
FATHER THOMAS - In nomine Patris. Father. Forgive us. We know exactly
what we do!
End of scene
Scene 36b
Back inside theatre
FATHER That last choir was rather good. don't you think?
You know. What she's done with those children is
nothing short of amazing.
REVEREND MOTHER Well. Sister Mary Clarence is no ordinary nun.
FATHER Oh. You don't have to tell me that.
REVEREND MOTHER You're not angry with me for misleading you?
FATHER Not at all. As a matter of fact... you're free to fool
me anytime you want.
Announcer And now. ladies and gentlemen...from San Francisco.
The choir of St Francis High School... under the
direction of Sister Mary Clarence...
also singing "Joyful. Joyful."
(Mrs Watson makes her way into the theatre)
St Francis Choir
Joyful, joyful
Lord
We adore Thee
God of glory
Lord of love
Hearts unfold
like flowers
Before Thee
Stage manager Your teacher says take off your robes.
kids- Huh? What?
Stage manager - Take off your robes. Do it quickly. C'mon.
TANYA - What?
MARGARET - I don't know.

62
Deloris Just take off your robes. Put on anything you want.
If we're gonna go out there... we're gonna go out there
comfortable. some of us.
St Francis Choir
And fear and sadness
Drive the dark of doubt
Away
Giver of immortal
Gladness
Fill us with the light
Fill us with the light
Oh, fill us
With the light
Of day
Joyful, joyful
Lord, we adore Thee
God of Glory
Lord of Love
Hearts unfold
like flowers before Thee
Hail Thee
as the sun above
Melt the clouds of sin
Sin and sadness
Drive the dark of doubt away
Drive it all away
Giver of immortal gladness
Fill us
Fill us with the light of day
- Light of day
- Check the rhyme
Hey, Chaka, joyful, joyful
Lord, we adore Thee
- And in my life I put none before Thee
- Yeah
But since I was a youngster I came
to know that You was the only way to go
So I had to grow up and
to come to an understanding
And I'm down with the King
so now I'm demanding
That you tell me
who you're down with, see
'Cause all I know is
that I'm down with G-O-D
- You down with G-O-D
- Yeah, you know me
- You down with G-O-D
- Yeah, you know me
- You down with G-O-D
- Yeah, you know me

63
- Who's down with G-O-D
Everybody
Come and join the chorus
The mighty, mighty chorus
Which the morning stars began
The Father of love
is rising o'er us
By the way
What have you done
for Him lately
Ooh ooh ooh, yeah
- Oh, yes
- What have you done
for Him lately
He watches over everything
So we sing
- Joyful, joyful
Lord, we adore Thee
- Oh, joyful
- Oh, God, oh, God
- God of Glory, Lord of love
- Hearts unfold
- Like flowers before Thee
- Hail Thee
- Hail Thee as the sun above
- Oh, melt the clouds
- Melt the clouds of sin and sadness
Drive the dark
of doubt away
- Drive it all away
Giver of immortal gladness
- Oh, immortal
- Fill us
- Fill with the light of day
- Lord, fill us
- Fill us
Oh, we need ya
Yes, we do
- Fill us
- Fill us
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, oh-oh
- Fill us
- Oh, yeah
With the light of day, Lord
- Fill us
- Hear us as we pray, Lord
- Fill us, fill us
- With the light of day, Lord
We need you, don't walk away
We need you, need you today
We need you, I'm here
Fill us, fill us
Fill us, fill us
- Eh eh eh

64
- Fill us
Fill us with the light of day
- Oh, yeah
- Light of day
(End of scene)
Scene 36b
Announcer And now the moment we've all been waiting for.
But first. Let's give all the contestants a nice. Big
hand.
Thank you. The third runner-up:
Pinewood High School. San Bernardino. Quartet.
The second runner-up: Oceanview High School...
San Diego. Gospel Choir.
First runner-up: Grant High School...
Orange County. Chapman Choir!
The Grand Prize winner:
St Francis High School. San Francisco!
Scene 37
Schoolboard members greenroom
School board1- Simply outstanding.
FATHER - Oh. Thank you. Thank you.
School Board2- What a performance! My heart is still racing.
School Board3- Congratulations.
REVEREND MOTHER Good evening. What a surprise to see you here.
You're aware. Of course. that the school that has just
won... is the school you are about to close.
School board1 You must be kidding! With a choir like that?
We've gotta get ready for next year's competition.
REVEREND MOTHER I'm so pleased you feel that way!
MR CRISP - Ha!
School Board2- Oh. Mr Crisp. Mr Crisp. Just in time.
MR CRISP You're the people I wanna see. You have been deceived.
School Board3- What? What's he talking about?
MR CRISP Yes. This Sister. Sister Mary Clarence.

65
REVEREND MOTHER He's quite right. You have been deceived. You see.
actually. It was Mr Crisp...
School board1- It was Mr Crisp's idea?
FATHER- Yes. Yes. Indeed.
REVEREND MOTHER Yeah. I suppose he did it to keep St Francis from
closing. And it worked.
MR CRISP - St Francis isn't closing?
REVEREND MOTHER No. St Francis isn't closing.
School board1 We knew you wanted to be considered for early
retirement. We didn't know you were just being modest.
MR CRISP - Oh. I di...
REVEREND MOTHER- Oh. They can't let a prize bull like you be put out to
pasture. No. There must be a real trouble spot
somewhere in the Archdiocese... that could use Mr
Crisp's extraordinary talents.
MR CRISP That woman! That. That woman!
REVEREND MOTHER Go with God. Crispy.
Scene 37a
backstage
Sister Mary Patrick I don't how the heck Sister Mary Clarence does this.
Performs night after night in Vegas. Huh! How does she
do it?
Sister Mary Lazarus She's used to all this. We're the nervous wrecks.
SISTER MARY ROBERT- Yeah. All these people.
Sister Mary Lazarus- Yeah.
FRANKIE- Vegas?
Maria- Vegas?
RITA WATSON Mama. It was just this one time. I'm sorry. I'll never
disobey you again. This meant a lot to me. Please
don't be mad at me. 'cause I'm sorry if y...
Mrs W- Just stop! You're incredible. And I'm proud of you.

66
I'm very proud of you.
FATHER- Congratulations! Congratulations to all of you. Well.
Congratulations!
REVEREND MOTHER Sister Mary Clarence. you've done it again.
And because of your resounding and well-deserved
success...
the Archdiocese have decided to keep St Francis open!
Deloris You owe me.
SISTER MARY ROBERT - Oh. My gosh. I feel so happy. I think I'm gonna cry.
Sister Mary Patrick- Oh. Don't say that.
Sister Mary Lazarus I know how you feel. I'm a sucker for happy endings
myself.
Sister Mary Patrick Oh. You two! Oh. What the heck!
FRANKIE- You ain't really a nun. Are you?
RITA WATSON- Yeah. 'Cause you don't talk like a nun. and you
definitely don't act like one.
AHMAL- And rumor has it that you're a Las Vegas showgirl?
Deloris Let me point out one thing. my dear Ahmal.
I am not now nor have I ever been a Las Vegas showgirl.
I am a headliner.
End of scene