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chapter five<br />

To: Anna Oliphant<br />

<br />

From: Bridgette Saunderwick<br />

<br />

Subject: Don’t look now but . . .<br />

... the bottom right corner of your bed is untucked. HA!<br />

Made you look. Now stop smoothing out invisible<br />

wrinkles. Seriously. How’s Le Academe du Fraunch?<br />

Any hotties I should know about? Speaking of, guess<br />

who’s in my calc class?? Drew! He dyed his hair black<br />

and got a lip ring. And he’s totally callipygian (look it<br />

up, lazy ass). I sat with the usual at lunch, but it wasn’t<br />

the same without you. Not to mention freaking Cherrie<br />

showed up. She kept flipping her hair around, and I<br />

swear I heard you humming that TRESemmé<br />

commercial. I’ll gouge out my eyes with Sean’s Darth<br />

Maul action figure if she sits with us every day. By the<br />

way, your mom hired me to babysit him after school,<br />

so I’d better go. Don’t want him to die on my watch.<br />

You suck. Come home. Bridge<br />

P.S. Tomorrow they’re announcing section leaders in<br />

band. Wish me luck. If they give my spot to Kevin<br />

Quiggley, I’ll gouge out HIS eyes with Darth Maul.<br />

Callipygian. Having shapely buttocks. Nice one,<br />

Anna and the French Kiss | 44

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