February 16, 2013 Debi Torres Gifted Education Coordinator Austin ISD

TAGT Parent Conference
February 16, 2013
Debi Torres
Gifted Education Coordinator
Austin ISD

“Parenting a gifted child is like
living in a theme park full of thrill
rides. Sometimes you smile.
Sometimes you gasp. Sometimes
you scream. Sometimes you
laugh. Sometimes you gaze in
wonder and astonishment.
Sometimes you’re frozen in your
seat. Sometimes you’re proud.
And sometimes the ride is so
nerve-racking, you can’t do
anything but cry.”
-Whitney, S.S. & Hirsch, G. Helping Gifted Children Soar, 2011.

Objectives
Explore a brief history of gifted education.
Discuss asynchronous development patterns
in gifted children and in society.
Recognize the differences between introverts
and extroverts.
Discuss ways to help gifted children develop
a self-awareness of self and build friendships.

Early 20 th Century
Lewis Terman’s Descriptions
of GT students …
Mature
Dependable
Wise
Witty
Healthy
Excellent memory
Enjoys company of adults
Youngest chronologically in class
-J. Jolly, 2005.

Dr. Benjamin Spock’s
thoughts on raising
children…
Mid 20 th Century
Parents need to find a mix of
love and discipline that helps a
child become the happiest and
most successful adult possible.
Well-rounded children will
grow up to become wellrounded
adults.

Late 20 th Century
Asynchronous
development…
Giftedness is asynchronous
development in which advanced
cognitive abilities and heightened
intensity combine to create inner
experiences and awareness that are
qualitatively different from the norm.
This asynchrony increases with higher
intellectual capacity. The uniqueness of
the gifted renders them particularly
vulnerable and requires modifications in
parenting, teaching and counseling in
order for them to develop optimally.
-The Columbus Group, 1991.

What We Have Learned About
GT Children
Gifted
Linda Silverman, Gifted Development Center, 2009.
children are
asynchronous.
They tend to
have uneven
development.

Asynchronous Development
Intellectual
Physical
Emotional
Social

Asynchronous Development
Parents as
Kathi Kearney, Hoagies Gifted Website.
Multi-level
Mediators.

Asynchronous Development
Asynchrony
Kathi Kearney, Hoagies Gifted Website.
in the Family
System.

Asynchronous Development
Asynchrony
Kathi Kearney, Hoagies Gifted Website.
in the Larger
Society.

Asynchronous Development
Asynchrony
within
Bureaucracies.
Kathi Kearney, Hoagies Gifted Website.

Extroverts
Get energy from interaction
Feel energized by people
Have a single-layered personality (same in public and
private)
Are open and trusting
Think out loud
Like being the center of attention
Learn by doing
Are comfortable in new situations
Make lots of friends easily
Are distractible
Are impulsive
Are risk-takers in groups
Silverman, L. (1993). Counseling the gifted and talented. CO: Love.

Introverts
Get energy from themselves
Feel drained by people
Have a persona and an inner self (show best self in
public)
Need privacy
Mentally rehearse before speaking
Avoid being the center of attention
Learn by observing
Are uncomfortable with changes
Are loyal to a few close friends
Are capable of intense concentration
Are reflective
Fear humiliation; quiet in large groups
Silverman, L. (1993). Counseling the gifted and talented. CO: Love.

What We Have Learned
About GT Children
Approximately…
30% of general population
60% of gifted children
75% of highly gifted
children
Are introverted
Linda Silverman, Gifted Development Center, 2009.

Aloneness v. Loneliness
It may be difficult to
determine if the child is
spending time alone because
they have a need for solitude
or if they lack social skills
and thus are reluctant to
reach out because they fear
rejection.

Introverts: Points to Remember
Introverts rarely talk to others about their
problems.
Introverts prefer to re-think and re-think and
re-think through problems. This is where
reflection goes awry.
When introverts share their problems they
are seeking advice. They do not want to
bounce ideas off others and they do not want
to talk it over. They want solutions.

Introverts: Points to Remember
Introverts are not holding back or being
uncommunicative when they refuse to
elaborate or provide details.
Introverts do not need “fixing.” Societal
attitudes toward introversion often leads to a
negative perception of introverts. However,
introverts are our thoughtful reflectors that
do not feel compelled to embrace mainstream
society’s impulsivity, quick fixes, and need
for instant gratification.

What We Have Learned About
GT Children
Gifted children
have better social
adjustment in
classes with
children like
themselves.
Linda Silverman, Gifted Development Center, 2009.

What We Have Learned About
GT Children
Creative children,
mathematically
talented children,
highly gifted
children, learning
disabled children,
are often visualspatial
learners.
Linda Silverman, Gifted Development Center, 2009.

Developing Self-Awareness
Grades K-5: Emotional Awareness Blossoms
Find and name their feelings
Identify that their own feelings have a
range and intensity that may be different
than others
Understand that they can interpret feelings
in different ways
Know how to separate awareness of
feelings from action in response (impulse
control)

Developing Self-Awareness
Grades 6-8: Identity Emerges
Comprehend the “idea of
themselves” – their self-concept
Understand patterns of emotional
temperament
Aware of peer group dynamics

Developing Self-Awareness
Grades 9-12: Transition to Adult Life
Understand the need to “fit” to a
certain work or occupation
direction
Determine values, natural
abilities, and interests that may
suggest a life purpose or pursuit

Emotional Intelligence:
Definitions
“The ability to perceive emotions,
to access and generate emotions
so as to assist thought, to
understand emotions and
emotional knowledge, and to
reflectively regulate emotions so
as to promote emotional and
intellectual growth”
-Mayer & Salovey, 1997, p. 5.

Abilities such as:
Emotional Intelligence:
Definitions
"being able to motivate oneself and
persist in the face of frustrations";
"to control impulse and delay
gratifications";
"to regulate one's moods and keep
distress from swamping the ability
to think";
-Goleman, 1995, p. 34.

Emotional Intelligence:
Abilities such as:
"to empathize";
"to hope".
Definitions
“Emotional and social intelligence is a
multi-factorial array of interrelated
emotional, personal, and social abilities that
influence our overall ability to actively and
effectively cope with daily demands and
pressures”
-Goleman, 1995, p. 34.

Stages of Friendship
Stage 1: "Play
Partner": In the earliest
stage of friendship, the
relationship is based on
"play-partnership". A
friend is seen as someone
who engages the child in
play and permits the child
to use or borrow her
playthings.
Gross, M. (2002). "Play Partner" or "Sure Shelter": What gifted children look for in friendship .
SENG Newsletter. 2002 May 2(2) 1-3.

Stages of Friendship
Stage 2: "People to
chat to": The sharing of
interests becomes an
important element in
friendship choice.
Conversations between
"friends" are no longer
related simply to the game or
activity in which the children
are directly engaged.
Gross, M. (2002). "Play Partner" or "Sure Shelter": What gifted children look for in friendship . SENG
Newsletter. 2002 May 2(2) 1-3.

Stages of Friendship
Stage 3: "Help and
encouragement": At this
stage the friend is seen as
someone who will offer help,
support or encouragement.
However, the advantages of
friendship flow in one
direction; the child does not
yet see himself as having the
obligation to provide help or
support in return.
Gross, M. (2002). "Play Partner" or "Sure Shelter": What gifted children look for in friendship .
SENG Newsletter. 2002 May 2(2) 1-3.

Stages of Friendship
Stage 4:
"Intimacy/empathy": The
child now realizes that in
friendship the need and obligation
to give comfort and support flows
both ways and, indeed, the giving
of affection, as well as receiving it,
becomes an important element in
the relationship. This stage sees a
deepening of intimacy; an
emotional sharing and bonding.
Gross, M. (2002). "Play Partner" or "Sure Shelter": What gifted children look for in friendship .
SENG Newsletter. 2002 May 2(2) 1-3.

Stages of Friendship
Stage 5: "The sure
shelter." At this stage
friendship is perceived as a
deep and lasting
relationship of trust,
fidelity and unconditional
acceptance.
Gross, M. (2002). "Play Partner" or "Sure Shelter": What gifted children look for in friendship .
SENG Newsletter. 2002 May 2(2) 1-3.

Friendship
As a highly gifted 12 year old
described it…
"A real friend is a place you go
when you need to take off the
masks. You can say what you
want to your friend because you
know that your friend will really
listen and even if he doesn't like
what you say, he will still like you.
You can take off your camouflage
with a real friend and still feel
safe."
Gross, M. (2002). "Play Partner" or "Sure Shelter": What gifted children look for in friendship .
SENG Newsletter. 2002 May 2(2) 1-3.

Friendship
& Asynchronous Development
Gifted children begin to look for friends with whom
they can develop close and trusting friendships at ages
when their age-peers of average ability are looking for
play partners.
In grades 3 and 4, even moderately gifted children have
the conceptions of friendship which characterize average
ability children at least two years older.
Gifted children look for friends among other gifted
children of approximately their own age, or older
children of above average ability.
Gross, M. (2002). "Play Partner" or "Sure Shelter": What gifted children look for in
friendship . SENG Newsletter. 2002 May 2(2) 1-3.

Friendship
& Asynchronous Development
They may not only be seeking the intellectual
compatibility of mental age peers; they may also be
looking for children whose conceptions and expectations
of friendship are similar to their own.
The social isolation experienced by many highly gifted
children is most acute between the ages of 4 and 9.
Gross, M. (2002). "Play Partner" or "Sure Shelter": What gifted children look for in
friendship . SENG Newsletter. 2002 May 2(2) 1-3.

Friendship
& Asynchronous Development
Exceptionally gifted children (children of IQ 160+) tend to
begin the search for "the sure shelter" - friendships of
complete trust and honesty - four or five years before
their age-peers even enter this stage.
Exceptionally gifted girls aged 6 and 7 already displayed
conceptions of friendship which do not develop in
children of average ability until age 11 or 12.
Exceptionally gifted boys who begin the search for
intimacy at unusually early ages may be at even greater
risk of social isolation than girls of similar ability.
Gross, M. (2002). "Play Partner" or "Sure Shelter": What gifted children look for in
friendship . SENG Newsletter. 2002 May 2(2) 1-3.

“Life affords no
greater
responsibility, no
greater privilege,
than the raising
of the next
generation.”
- C. Everett Koop
Final Thoughts