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CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

English Language Arts Curriculum<br />

Published by<br />

The University of California, Davis,<br />

School/University Partnerships Program<br />

2006<br />

Director<br />

Sarah R. Martinez, School/University Partnerships, UC Davis<br />

Developed and Written by<br />

Syma Solovitch, School/University Partnerships, UC Davis<br />

Reviewers<br />

Jennifer Osborne, UC Davis English Graduate<br />

Faith Paul, School/University Partnerships, UC Davis<br />

Linda Whent, School/University Partnerships, UC Davis<br />

Sarah Rees, School/University Partnerships, UC Davis<br />

Design and Layout<br />

Bo Botelli, Publications Coordinator<br />

Jack Zhang, Publications Assistant<br />

Advising Services, UC Davis<br />

The CAHSEE on Target curriculum was made possible by<br />

funding and support from the California Academic Partnership Program,<br />

GEAR UP, and the University of California Office of the President.<br />

We also gratefully acknowledge the contributions of those teachers<br />

and administrators at Sacramento High School and Woodland High School<br />

who piloted the CAHSEE on Target curriculum.<br />

© Copyright The Regents of the University of California, Davis campus, 2005-06<br />

All Rights Reserved. Pages intended to be reproduced for students activities<br />

may be duplicated for classroom use. All other text may not be reproduced in any form<br />

without the express written permission of the copyright holder.<br />

For further information,<br />

please visit the School/University Partnerships Web site at:<br />

http://sup.ucdavis.edu


CAHSEE CAHSEE on on Target<br />

Target<br />

Introduction to the CAHSEE<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

The CAHSEE stands for the California High School Exit Exam.<br />

The English Language Arts section of the CAHSEE consists of<br />

72 multiple-choice questions (45 reading items and 27 writing items)<br />

and one essay (accounting for 18% of the section).<br />

The items span across 6 distinct strands:<br />

• Word Analysis: 7 Questions<br />

• Reading Comprehension (Informational Text): 18 Questions<br />

• Literary Response & Analysis: 20 Questions<br />

• <strong>Writing</strong> Conventions: 15 Questions<br />

• <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong>: 12 Questions<br />

• <strong>Writing</strong> Applications: 1 Essay (18% of the total score)<br />

What is<br />

CAHSEE on Target?<br />

CAHSEE on Target is a tutoring<br />

course specifically designed for<br />

the California High School Exit Exam<br />

(CAHSEE). The goal of the program is to<br />

pinpoint each student’s areas of weakness<br />

and to then address those weaknesses<br />

through classroom and small group instruction,<br />

concentrated review, computer tutorials and<br />

challenging games.<br />

Each student will receive a separate workbook for<br />

each strand and will use these workbooks during<br />

their tutoring sessions. These workbooks will<br />

present and explain each concept covered<br />

on the CAHSEE, and introduce effective<br />

strategies for reading comprehension,<br />

essay writing, and text revision.


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

<strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> for the CAHSEE<br />

The <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> section of the CAHSEE consists of 2 multiple-choice questions.<br />

You will be given several short passages that are grammatically correct but that contain<br />

stylistic errors. You will be directed to individual paragraphs, sentences, or parts of sentences<br />

in these passages and asked to edit them.<br />

CAHSEE Example<br />

CAHSEE release questions based on the passage “Essay <strong>Writing</strong>”:<br />

Essay <strong>Writing</strong><br />

( ) To begin an essay, a student should have some knowledge of the topic or be willing<br />

to search out information. (2) Then one must focus clearly on the prompt, addressing all<br />

its major points, and making sure that the central purpose is evident throughout the<br />

entire essay. (3) Interesting and convincing examples with lots of specific details are always<br />

helpful. (4) The details must show some kind of clear arrangement—chronological, spatial,<br />

or order-of-importance. (5) A student writer will also want to revise a first draft so that any<br />

errors in grammar and mechanics can be got rid of. (6) Steps can be taken to edit essays.<br />

(7) Relying solely on “SpellCheck” can be risky; (8) It does not catch the common errors<br />

that students make, such as confusing “your” and “you’re.” (9) If students meet all these<br />

requirements, then they will have written very effectively.<br />

2


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

. Which of the following sentences, if inserted before sentence , would make the<br />

MOST effective opening sentence?<br />

A. <strong>Writing</strong> an essay is easy if one uses a computer.<br />

B. Good essays are always written in black pen.<br />

C. Any student can write a successful essay<br />

D. Teachers sometimes assign difficult essays.<br />

2. Which is the MOST effective substitution for the underlined part of sentence 5?<br />

A. and ridding of errors in grammar and mechanics.<br />

B. to get rid of errors in grammar and mechanics.<br />

C. and getting rid of errors in grammar and mechanics.<br />

D. Leave as is<br />

Source: California Department of Education, 2004<br />

Note: You do not need to answer these questions now.<br />

We will return to this exercise later.<br />

Notice that these questions focus on style. There are no grammatical errors in the text,<br />

yet the writing does not flow. There is no opening sentence to introduce the reader to<br />

the topic or main point of the essay. There are awkward sentence constructions, such as<br />

the one that is underlined. These passages and questions are typical of those you will see<br />

on the <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> section of the CAHSEE.<br />

In this packet, we will look at three broad areas:<br />

• Coherence: Things fit together in a logical and clear way.<br />

• Unity: Everything belongs; there are no sentences or phrases that are unnecessary<br />

• Information Resources: Sources (such as books, magazines, Web sites) needed to<br />

find information and do research<br />

information resources<br />

UNITY3<br />

COHERENCE


I. Coherence<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

In coherent writing, sentences fit together and flow in a logical and clear way.<br />

The ideas tie together smoothly and clearly, and readers can easily follow along.<br />

There are many factors that contribute to a coherent piece of writing:<br />

• Appropriate paragraph breaks<br />

• Appropriate transitions<br />

• Sentence variety<br />

• Concise and precise language<br />

• Appropriate verb form (emphasis on the active voice)<br />

A. Paragraphs<br />

Paragraphs tell the reader when a new point or new information is presented.<br />

Each paragraph tells the reader something new and important.<br />

Indent to begin new paragraphs . . .<br />

• at the beginning of a story<br />

• when you’re changing the topic<br />

• when you’re making a new point<br />

• when the speaker changes<br />

• when the place changes<br />

• when the action changes<br />

• when the time changes<br />

4


CAHSEE on Target<br />

Paragraph Exercise: Tutor Version<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Read the essay below and mark wherever a new paragraph is needed.<br />

The character “ ” means begin a new paragraph.<br />

Bright Lights, Green Spaces<br />

Many people are attracted to the bright lights and hustle bustle of the big city. They<br />

love the frenetic energy and pulsating rhythm that only a major metropolis can<br />

provide. Others prefer the peacefulness and natural beauty of the countryside.<br />

They find the people friendlier, the air cleaner. Often overlooked, however,<br />

is the small college town. For those who seek a safe environment for their<br />

children, as well as a broad range of cultural diversion, the small college town is<br />

worth exploring. First, college towns offer the kind of cultural diversity<br />

found in big cities. Students and faculty come from every major continent<br />

on the globe. There are Africans, Asians, Europeans, South Americans, and<br />

Australians. They bring their customs, languages, and music with them, thus<br />

transposing the small college town into a tiny cultural oasis. On a walk across<br />

campus, one might hear snippets of French, Italian, Arabic, and Hebrew. On<br />

the college green, one can hear West African drumming, Cuban salsa, or music<br />

from the Andes. In addition, college towns attract a highly educated workforce.<br />

Colleges bring college professors, along with doctors, lawyers, and high-level<br />

administrators. In fact, college towns boast the highest number of residents with<br />

doctoral and professional degrees. Moreover, most of these residents were<br />

born and raised elsewhere and, as a result, they bring with them a certain<br />

continued on<br />

next page<br />

5


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

sophistication and worldliness not typically found in a small town. They enjoy the theater, art,<br />

film, and foreign cuisine, and they can afford to partake of all of these. Consequently, most<br />

college towns have a performing arts center, as well as several movie theaters, art galleries,<br />

and ethnic restaurants. At the same time, small college towns are ideal for those who love the<br />

great outdoors. Often the layout of the town itself encourages people to be physically active.<br />

There are large, sprawling parks, bike paths that meander through woods and along streams,<br />

and horseback riding trails. Many students and professors choose to leave their cars at home<br />

and get around town and campus by bike. Outdoor, family-oriented events encourage residents<br />

to engage with one another. In the summer months, there are outdoor concerts on the college<br />

green, community picnics and barbecues at the park, and Saturday shopping at the farmer’s<br />

market. Everyone seems to know one another, and it is not uncommon to see people stopping<br />

on the street to hug someone and chat for a few minutes. The small college town is ideal for<br />

those who seek cultural diversity within a small, intimate setting. It offers many of the advantages<br />

of the big city, from the visual and performing arts to opportunities to meet interesting, educated<br />

people from all over the world. Yet people tend to be more open than in a big city, and it is<br />

easier to make friends. Indeed, the small college town offers the best of both worlds.<br />

6


B. Transitions<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Readers want to know when changes are coming or when important points are going<br />

to be made. Transitions give us this information.<br />

Transitions are words and phrases that serve as bridges from one idea to the next,<br />

one sentence to the next, or one paragraph to the next. Without them, sentences and<br />

paragraphs come across as choppy - - as just a list of points or facts that have no<br />

connection with one another. We can group transitions into seven basic categories:<br />

Transitions to Compare Transitions to Contrast<br />

• Also<br />

• In the same way<br />

• Just as …<br />

• Likewise<br />

• Like<br />

• As in …<br />

• Here, too,<br />

7<br />

• Although<br />

• While<br />

• On the contrary<br />

• Nevertheless<br />

• Yet<br />

• Unlike<br />

• However<br />

• On the other hand<br />

Transitions to emphasize Transitions to clarify<br />

• Indeed<br />

• Truly<br />

• For this reason<br />

• Simply stated<br />

• In fact<br />

• Another key point<br />

• Most importantly<br />

• More importantly<br />

• Surprisingly enough<br />

• For example<br />

• For instance<br />

• In other words<br />

• Simply stated<br />

• Therefore


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Transitions to add info Transitions to Conclude<br />

• In addition<br />

• Moreover<br />

• Furthermore<br />

• Equally important<br />

• Second<br />

• Third<br />

• Finally<br />

• Another factor<br />

Transitions to list info<br />

• First<br />

• Second<br />

• Third<br />

• In addition<br />

• Another factor<br />

• In the beginning<br />

• At the end<br />

8<br />

• Finally<br />

• In summary<br />

• In conclusion<br />

• Lastly<br />

• Therefore<br />

• For this reason<br />

• To conclude


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Transitions Exercise: Tutor Version (Possible Transitions)<br />

Add appropriate transitions to the following essay.<br />

Refer to your list of transition words and phrases.<br />

Did you know that driving can be the most risky activity in which people engage?<br />

_______________, among professional drivers (people who drive for a living), the risks are<br />

even higher. According to a recent report published by the Center for Disease Control<br />

and Prevention, driving is the most dangerous activity workers engage in while on the job.<br />

There are many factors that contribute to the high rate of accidents among<br />

professional drivers. _______________, those who drive for a living, such as truck drivers,<br />

often drive long distances and are therefore more likely to experience driver’s fatigue.<br />

_______________ it is recommended that all drivers stop every two hours and rest for ten<br />

to fifteen minutes, those who drive professionally are often under pressure to make good<br />

time. _______________, they tend to drive straight to their destination.<br />

_______________, professional drivers are more likely to eat, drink, and change music<br />

CD’s while they drive. These activities are distracting and lead to a higher incidence of<br />

accidents. _______________, the National Safety Council has estimated that between 20<br />

and 30 percent of all motor vehicle accidents in the United States can be attributed to<br />

engaging in distracting activities while driving.<br />

_______________, the advent of the cell phone has revolutionized driving, for better or for<br />

worse. For those who spend long hours on the road, cell phones have become indispensable;<br />

they provide an essential link to their employers, clients, and loved ones. _______________,<br />

there are serious disadvantages to using cell phones while driving. Studies have shown<br />

that drivers are less attentive to the road when using their cell phones. _______________,<br />

they are much more likely to cause or become involved in an accident.<br />

Next time you consider the risks of flying on an airplane, think about your drive to<br />

the airport. Driving is a serious activity; without serious drivers, it can be a dangerous activity.<br />

9


Transitional Statements<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Transitions are not limited to words and phrases. They can also be whole sentences.<br />

Reread the passage “Essay <strong>Writing</strong>” on page 2. What is the main idea in the passage?<br />

Is it ever stated? There is no one sentence that pulls the entire passage together in a<br />

coherent manner.<br />

The following question, based on the passage, focuses on this weakness:<br />

CAHSEE Example<br />

Which of the following sentences, if inserted before sentence , would make the MOST<br />

effective opening sentence?<br />

A. <strong>Writing</strong> an essay is easy if one uses a computer.<br />

B. Good essays are always written in black pen.<br />

C. Any student can write a successful essay<br />

D. Teachers sometimes assign difficult essays.<br />

Source: California Department of Education, 2004<br />

Explain Your Answer:<br />

0


C. Sentence Variety<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Readers become bored with words and sentences that never vary.<br />

Weak writing often contains short, choppy sentences, in which the same pattern<br />

is repeated over and over again.<br />

Examples of choppy sentences:<br />

. Ramona is my best friend. She lives across the street.<br />

2. Carolyn is a high school senior. She will be graduating in June.<br />

There is no variety in the structure of the above sentences. Notice that in almost<br />

every sentence, the pattern remains the same. This repetitive pattern makes<br />

the writing seem choppy.<br />

There are five ways to avoid short, choppy sentences:<br />

1. Use Commas to Combine Sentences<br />

Example: Ramona is my best friend. She lives across the street.<br />

Revised: Ramona, my best friend, lives across the street.<br />

Example: Carolyn is a high school senior. She will be graduating in the spring.<br />

Revised: Carolyn, a high school senior, will be graduating in June.<br />

On Your Own: Combine the sentences by using commas.<br />

Evelyn is a cheer leader at Douglass High School. She is dating a college junior.


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

2. Use Conjunctions to Combine Sentences<br />

You can combine sentences that have the same subject and/or verb by<br />

using conjunctions.<br />

Example: Phyllis is attending college and working part time.<br />

Conjunctions are the short little words that are used to connect words,<br />

phrases, and ideas. Examples of conjunctions include the following: but,<br />

and, or, so, yet.<br />

Example: Andrew spends two hours each night on his homework. He is still<br />

having problems in his math class.<br />

Revised: Andrew spends two hours each night on his homework, but he is still<br />

having problems in his math class.<br />

Note: When connecting two sentences with a conjunction, place a comma<br />

before the connecting conjunction.<br />

On Your Own: Combine the sentences by using conjunctions.<br />

. I cannot find her number in my address book. I will look it up in the phone book.<br />

2. I studied until two o’clock in the morning. I still don’t feel ready for my history exam.<br />

and but or<br />

2


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

3. Use Relative Clauses to Combine Sentences<br />

A relative clause is a clause that begins with a relative pronoun:<br />

who, which, whom, that, whose.<br />

You can combine sentences that begin with the same subject by using<br />

a relative clause.<br />

Example: John, who is my three-year-old brother, is very smart.<br />

Example: My brother John, who is three years old, is very smart.<br />

Note: Enclose your relative clauses in commas.<br />

On Your Own: Combine the sentences by using relative clauses.<br />

. Sacramento is the capital of California. It is a fascinating city.<br />

2. My teacher was born in Tennessee. She moved to California when she was<br />

twelve years old.<br />

3. The exam is scheduled for tomorrow. It will consist of fifty multiple-choice questions.<br />

whom<br />

whose<br />

WHICH<br />

THAT<br />

3<br />

who


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

4. Use Participles to Combine Sentences<br />

A participle is an adjective made from a verb (specifically, from the -ed or –ing<br />

form of the verb). Participles can be helpful in combining two short sentences.<br />

Example: The baby cried all the way home. He was tired and hungry.<br />

Revised: Tired and hungry, the baby cried all the way home.<br />

Example: Sam was exhausted from basketball practice. He collapsed on the couch<br />

and fell asleep.<br />

Revised: Exhausted from basketball practice, Sam collapsed on the couch and<br />

fell asleep.<br />

Note: Enclose your participial phrase in commas.<br />

On Your Own: Combine the sentences by using participles.<br />

. She was homesick for her family. She decided to return home for the week<br />

of Thanksgiving.<br />

2. Miriam wasted no time in starting on her research project. She was anxious to<br />

show her teacher that she was serious about improving her grades.<br />

4


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

5. Use Subordinate Clauses to Combine Sentences<br />

A subordinate is a word that shows a relationship. Subordinate clauses are phrases<br />

that begin with a subordinate. They often begin with one of the following words:<br />

after although because if<br />

until when while since<br />

You can combine sentences that are related (cause and effect, etc.) by using<br />

subordinate clauses.<br />

Example: Sam woke up late yesterday. He missed basketball practice.<br />

Revised: Since Sam woke up late yesterday, he missed basketball practice.<br />

Example: I want to believe you. You’ve lied to me twice already.<br />

Revised: Although you’ve lied to me twice already, I want to believe you.<br />

On Your Own: Combine the sentences by using subordinate clauses.<br />

. I won’t be able to go with you to the movies tomorrow. I have a mid-term exam<br />

on Friday.<br />

2. I’ll see you on Friday. I’ll bring the book that I promised you.<br />

5


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Practice: Edit the following short, choppy sentences, using one of the strategies covered:<br />

. I need to study for my math exam. The exam will cover five units.<br />

2. I have already spent two hours preparing for the exam. I need to review the material<br />

one more time.<br />

3. She stayed home all week. She was overwhelmed with grief.<br />

4. My nephew is home for vacation. He attends college in Arizona.<br />

5. Matthew is a junior at UC Davis. He is majoring in Engineering.<br />

6


CAHSEE Example<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

The following passage appeared on the CAHSEE. Read it through quickly and then<br />

answer the question, which focuses on combining sentences.<br />

My Brain<br />

Sometimes I think I am probably more right-brained, but other times I feel more<br />

left-brained. I love to play music and I especially like to make it up as I go along.<br />

For anybody else to hear my music, they might think it sounds like noise. My brother,<br />

for one, always complains about it. ( )<br />

I also like to write poetry. It is a way for me to put down on paper how I am really<br />

feeling. I write things in my poetry I would probably never tell anyone else. I am also<br />

pretty good at giving prepared speeches in my English class. Because I really like to do<br />

these kinds of things, I feel that I must be right-brained.<br />

But there are other times I am not so sure about it. For example, I am really pretty good<br />

at math and other things that require me to be logical. I also think I am pretty good at<br />

writing essays about technical things, like explaining how things work. And I’m good<br />

at remembering things too. (2)<br />

Though I guess I prefer right-brained activities and can do them more easily, I can do<br />

left-brained things pretty well if I have to. I like doing math problems. So I am not sure<br />

what that makes me!<br />

7


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

CAHSEE release question based on “My Brain”:<br />

What is the BEST way to combine the underlined sentences labeled 2?<br />

A. I am good at writing technical essays explaining how things work, and I also have<br />

a good memory.<br />

B. <strong>Writing</strong> technical essays, I am good at explaining how things work and I have<br />

a good memory.<br />

C. I am good at explaining how things work by writing technical essays and<br />

remembering things too.<br />

D. Explaining how things work and technical things are things I am good at writing<br />

essays about, and I have a good memory.<br />

Source: California Department of Education, 2004<br />

8


D. Concise <strong>Writing</strong><br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Use as few words as possible to make your point.<br />

While short, choppy sentences are a sign of poor writing, so too is wordiness.<br />

Example: Going to the party on Friday may present a difficulty.<br />

The above sentence is very wordy. Here is a much simpler and clearer way<br />

to state the idea:<br />

Revised: It may be difficult to go to the party on Friday.<br />

Writers often make the mistake of believing that the more words, and the bigger<br />

these words, the better the writing. This is not true. Good writers use words that<br />

are familiar to the reader and use just enough words to be clear.<br />

Factors Contributing to Wordiness:<br />

I. Redundant Words<br />

Certain words are redundant (unnecessary and repetitive) and add little to the meaning<br />

of a sentence.<br />

When you write, try to avoid the following words:<br />

• kind of<br />

• sort of<br />

• type of<br />

• really<br />

• basically<br />

• actually<br />

9


II. Redundant Expressions<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Certain expressions are redundant (unnecessary and repetitive); they tell us<br />

something that we already know.<br />

Example: All applicants who are interested in the job must complete this form.<br />

In the above sentence, the clause “who are interested in the job” is unnecessary,<br />

since anyone applying for a job is, by definition, interested in the job.<br />

Here is a much simpler and clearer way to state the idea:<br />

Revised: All job applicants must complete this form.<br />

On Your Own: There is a redundancy in each of the following expressions.<br />

Cross out the redundant word and explain why it is redundant.<br />

a. past memories:<br />

b. future plans:<br />

c. true facts:<br />

d. completely finished:<br />

e. large in size:<br />

f. often times:<br />

g. cheap price:<br />

h. honest in character:<br />

i. at an early time:<br />

j. period of time:<br />

k. round in shape:<br />

redundant<br />

20


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Practice: The following sentences are wordy and contain many redundancies.<br />

Try rewriting each sentence, using as few words as possible.<br />

. Many car buyers prefer cars that are pink in color and shiny in appearance. ( 4 words)<br />

2<br />

( ) words<br />

2. That is an expensive price for a diamond that is so small in size, but if this diamond is<br />

really something that you want, however, then buy it if you see that you have enough<br />

money to afford to pay for it. (42 words)<br />

( ) words<br />

3. I might add that we have taken the first steps to build a large number of new schools.<br />

( 8 words)<br />

( ) words<br />

4. It should be pointed out that we had an unfortunate and unexpected accident. ( 3 words)<br />

( ) words<br />

5. It is necessary that I spend a period of time to think about and reflect upon this. ( 7 words)<br />

( ) words


E. Precise Language<br />

Use specific words.<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

General terms, such as “nice,” “good,” or “thing” are overused and make the writing<br />

dry and uninteresting.<br />

Example: The man is good.<br />

How is the man good? Is he compassionate? Is he generous? Is he equitable?<br />

Merely stating that he is good does not tell the reader very much.<br />

Good writers use precise and descriptive terms. They choose words that are specific<br />

and that most closely capture their intended meaning. On the CAHSEE, you will be<br />

given passages that use common, overused words and asked to substitute them with<br />

more precise and descriptive terms.<br />

CAHSEE Example:<br />

The following CAHSEE question, which is based on the passage “The Abominable<br />

Snowman”, focuses on concise and precise language.<br />

Which of the following words is the BEST way to express the meaning of the word<br />

thing in sentence ?<br />

A. object<br />

B. item<br />

C. creature<br />

D. article<br />

Read the passage on the next page and then answer the above question.<br />

22


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

The Abominable Snowman<br />

( ) The Abominable Snowman is a hairy, apelike thing that is said to live in the<br />

Himalayan Mountains of Nepal. (2) Natives of this region have believed in<br />

the existence of this beast for many centuries. (3) However, since no one has ever<br />

found a Yeti (the Nepalese name for the Abominable Snowman), doubts still remain.<br />

(4) Some people who believe in the Yeti point to the discovery of peculiar footprints<br />

found above the snowline of the Himalayas. (5) There were footprints left by animals,<br />

and some people think that they were very much like human footprints but that they<br />

must have been made by animals which were much heavier and larger than humans.<br />

(6) Scientists who have studied the footprints, however, agree that they were most<br />

likely left by bears. (7) “Bears are quite capable of walking on their two hind legs,”<br />

says zoologist Hans Miller. (8) “This also explains many supposed Yeti sightings.<br />

(9) At a distance, a bear walking in such a way could easily appear to be a creature<br />

of human form. ( 0) In fact, three of the five Yeti sightings last year were determined<br />

to be bears. ( ) The others remain unexplained.” ( 2)<br />

23<br />

continued on<br />

next page


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Nonetheless, many people remain convinced that the Yeti is real. ( 3) “There has to,”<br />

says Raju, a mountain guide, “be something out there. ( 4) There have been too many<br />

sightings for this all to be the product of overactive imaginations.” ( 5) And, yet, it seems<br />

that the world will not be convinced of the existence of the Yeti until it is confirmed by<br />

hard evidence, a live specimen, or at least a skeleton. ( 6) For now, it appears that<br />

the Yeti will continue to inhabit the shadowy region between legend and reality.<br />

Source: California Department of Education, 2004<br />

24


CAHSEE Example<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

The following passage appeared on the CAHSEE. Read it through quickly<br />

and then answer the question, which focuses on precise language.<br />

ROUGH DRAFT<br />

Shower of Light<br />

( ) The black sky seemed to go on forever. (2) The silence of the night was broken<br />

only by the gentle chirps of crickets and the rhythm of the cicadas. (3) Each star<br />

shimmered with a white light that seemed to sparkle like a diamond on a piece of<br />

black velvet. (4) Suddenly the darkness came alive as a meteor shot across the sky,<br />

leaving a trail that instantly vanished into the darkness. (5) Mika saw another one,<br />

then another. (6) Some of the meteor trails glowed orange or red for a moment,<br />

then went away.<br />

(7) While Mika looked at one, more would appear in a different area of the sky,<br />

and her head moved double time as she tried to make sure she didn’t miss one.<br />

(8) The meteor shower continued to escalate, with a dozen or more meteors arcing<br />

across the sky at the same time. (9) Meteor showers usually appear only at certain<br />

times of the year. ( 0) They flew by so rapidly that she almost doubted she had<br />

seen them at all. ( ) These so-called shooting stars lit up the darkness with their<br />

shower of light and then quickly disappeared, but for Mika, they made the moment<br />

memorable. ( 2) Mika would hold the memory of these unique showers in her mind<br />

for many years.<br />

25


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

CAHSEE release question based on “Shower of Light”:<br />

Read this sentence from the passage.<br />

Some of the meteor trails glowed orange or red for a moment, then went away.<br />

What is the MOST effective way to write the underlined part of the sentence?<br />

A. and then they were really, really gone<br />

B. then they disappeared and went away<br />

C. and then they could not be seen any longer<br />

D. then faded away as if they never had existed<br />

Source: California Department of Education, 2004<br />

26


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Practice: Each of the following sentences contains a general, overused word.<br />

Replace this word (which is underlined) with one that is more specific<br />

and descriptive.<br />

. After all of the hot, muggy weather that we’ve been having,<br />

I would find a rain shower nice.<br />

A. good<br />

B. refreshing<br />

C. fine<br />

D. excellent<br />

2. Jennifer and her sister had a fight and are no longer on speaking terms<br />

with one another.<br />

A. battle<br />

B. combat<br />

C. quarrel<br />

D. difference of opinion<br />

3. The movie was funny; we couldn’t stop laughing.<br />

A. hilarious<br />

B. strange<br />

C. fun<br />

D. amusing<br />

4. I find my teacher interesting; he spent ten years in China and studied<br />

Buddhism with a famous monk.<br />

A. attractive<br />

B. fascinating<br />

C. motivating<br />

D. exciting<br />

27


F. The Active Form of the Verb<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Strong writers use the active form of the verb whenever possible.<br />

Sentences written in the active voice are usually clearer and more concise<br />

than those written in the passive voice.<br />

Active Verb: The pitcher threw the ball.<br />

Passive Verb: The ball was thrown by the pitcher<br />

To understand the concept of the active and passive voice, we need<br />

to identify the “agent” of the sentence. The agent performs the action.<br />

Example: Melinda bought the bike.<br />

What action is being performed? Answer: Buying the bike<br />

Who is performing the action? Answer: Melinda<br />

Melinda is the agent.<br />

She is the one who is performing the action (buying the bike.)<br />

The Active Voice: In sentences written in the active voice,<br />

the agent performs the action.<br />

Example: Kim sent the letter.<br />

On Your Own: Underline the agent in each sentence.<br />

The first one has been done for you.<br />

. The boy threw the ball.<br />

2. The chimpanzee has eaten the banana.<br />

3. The secretary will type the report.<br />

4. The mother takes her children for a stroll through the park.<br />

5. I have signed the lease.<br />

28


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

The Passive Voice: In sentences written in the passive voice, the action is performed by<br />

the agent.<br />

You can recognize the passive voice because . . .<br />

i. The verb phrase includes a form of “be,” (am, is, was, were, are, been)<br />

ii. The word “by” precedes (comes before) the subject.<br />

Example: The letter was sent by Kim.<br />

Here, Kim is still the agent, but the sentence is written in the passive voice.<br />

On Your Own: Underline the agent in each sentence.<br />

The first one has been done for you.<br />

. The ball was thrown by the boy.<br />

2. The banana was eaten by the chimpanzee.<br />

3. The report will be typed by the secretary.<br />

4. The children were taken by their mother for a stroll through the park.<br />

5. The lease has been signed by me.<br />

Your Turn: Write one sentence in the active voice and one sentence in the passive voice.<br />

Active Voice: __________________________________________________________________<br />

______________________________________________________________________________<br />

Passive Voice: __________________________________________________________________<br />

______________________________________________________________________________<br />

29


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Comparing the Active and Passive Voice<br />

Sentences in the passive voice often appear wordy and awkward.<br />

A. Passive: The CAHSEE will be taken by all eleventh graders in the spring.<br />

B. Active: All eleventh graders will take the CAHSEE in the spring.<br />

Which is clearer?<br />

Which is more concise (i.e. uses fewer words)?<br />

A. Passive: A gift was given to the child by the teacher.<br />

B. Active: The teacher gave the child a gift.<br />

Which is clearer?<br />

Which is more concise?<br />

A. Passive: The letter was received by me in the mail.<br />

B. Active: I received the letter in the mail.<br />

Which is clearer?<br />

Which is more concise?<br />

A. Passive: The vacation was enjoyed by the family.<br />

B. Active: The family enjoyed their vacation.<br />

Which is clearer?<br />

Which is more concise?<br />

30


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Changing from the Passive Voice to the Active Voice<br />

On the CAHSEE, you will be given sentences in the passive voice<br />

and asked to evaluate them and determine whether they could be<br />

stated more clearly. Usually, the clearer substitute is the sentence<br />

written in the active voice.<br />

Changing from the passive voice to the active voice is easy:<br />

Just make the agent the subject of the sentence, and change<br />

the verb.<br />

Example:<br />

Passive: The CAHSEE will be taken by all tenth graders next spring.<br />

Active: All tenth graders will take the CAHSEE next spring.<br />

On Your Own: Change to the active voice.<br />

. A large pepperoni pizza was shared by them.<br />

a large pepperoni pizza.<br />

2. Homework was assigned by the teacher.<br />

3. The fire was caused by a cigarette.<br />

3


CAHSEE Example<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Reread the passage “Shower of Light”, which appears on page 25.<br />

Then answer the following question, which focuses on the active and passive voice.<br />

What is the BEST way to state the action in sentence 2?<br />

A. Only the gentle chirps of crickets and the rhythm of the cicadas broke<br />

the silence of the night.<br />

B. Breaking the silence of the night was only the gentle chirps of crickets<br />

and the rhythm of the cicadas.<br />

C. Broken only by the gentle chirps of crickets and the rhythm of the cicadas<br />

was the silence of the night.<br />

D. The silence broken in the night was by only the gentle chirps of crickets<br />

and the rhythm of the cicadas.<br />

Source: California Department of Education, 2004<br />

CAHSEE Example<br />

Reread the passage “Essay <strong>Writing</strong>”, which appears on page 2. Then answer<br />

the following question, which focuses on the active and passive voice.<br />

Which is the MOST effective substitution for the underlined part of sentence 5?<br />

A. and ridding of errors in grammar and mechanics.<br />

B. to get rid of errors in grammar and mechanics.<br />

C. and getting rid of errors in grammar and mechanics.<br />

D. Leave as is<br />

Source: California Department of Education, 2004<br />

32


Unit Review<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Read the essay and evaluate it for coherence. Use the next page to write your comments.<br />

The thing that is the most demanding in a young person’s life is the senior year in<br />

high school. Many things are faced by students during this year: the application<br />

to college, the taking of the SAT, the writing of college essays, the keeping up of grades<br />

in school. Just the application alone can take a lot of time. Some students choose<br />

to take night classes to prepare for the SAT. Some students have private tutors. It all<br />

takes time if you want to get a high score. What does the future hold? It is a good time<br />

in a person’s life. It is also very frightening. Decisions must be made. Where should<br />

the student go to college? There are so many colleges out there. Which is the right one?<br />

They all have certain advantages. They all have disadvantages too. It is helpful to<br />

speak to a guidance counselor at school. They know a lot about all of the different<br />

colleges out there and can give the student information. Then do your own research.<br />

There are advantages to taking time off. There are disadvantages to taking time off.<br />

It is hard to know the good thing all alone. Most people find it good to talk to their<br />

counselors at school.<br />

33


comments on the essay<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

_____________________________________________________________________________________<br />

34


II. Unity of Purpose<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

In a well-unified essay, every word contributes to its purpose. That purpose should be<br />

clear to the reader. There are no irrelevant details that take away from that purpose.<br />

Read the following letter to establish whether there is a clear and unified purpose.<br />

Dear San Martino Bee,<br />

I have a subscription to your paper. In fact, I have been a loyal customer for<br />

the past two years. Although I do not always find the articles interesting, I do enjoy<br />

the real estate section and find some of the editorials very good. Your last editorial<br />

on the mayoral election, for instance, was fascinating! However, I am not pleased<br />

with your delivery man. I do not always receive the paper and sometimes it arrives<br />

so wet that I cannot read it. I have spoken with him in the past about the poor service.<br />

He is a very nice person and I realize how demanding his paper route is. Still, this<br />

is a problem for me. I have also spoken with your customer service department.<br />

They have also been very nice. I would like to point out that Cynthia, in particular,<br />

has been very kind to me. I know she makes a special effort to respond to my requests,<br />

and yet my replacement paper does not always arrive. I am sure it’s not her fault.<br />

She has probably been reassured by someone else that the paper is on its way or<br />

has been redelivered. So what can she do? Still, I am sure you’d agree that I can’t<br />

afford to keep paying for papers I don’t receive. This will have to end now.<br />

Sincerely,<br />

Esther Johnson<br />

35


CAHSEE on Target<br />

Unity of Purpose (continued)<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

What is the author’s purpose for writing the letter?<br />

________________________________________________________________________________<br />

________________________________________________________________________________<br />

________________________________________________________________________________<br />

________________________________________________________________________________<br />

Does the letter have a unified purpose? (Does every word contribute to the author’s purpose?)<br />

Explain.<br />

________________________________________________________________________________<br />

________________________________________________________________________________<br />

________________________________________________________________________________<br />

________________________________________________________________________________<br />

Go back to the letter and cross out any words and/or sentences that do not fully contribute<br />

to the author’s purpose.<br />

36


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Evaluation of the letter to the San Martino Bee:<br />

In the above letter, it is not clear what Ms. Johnson intends to do. She is clearly<br />

unhappy about the level of service she is receiving, yet she never mentions what<br />

she wants done about it. She includes many comments that are irrelevant to<br />

the issue, such as her poor delivery service.<br />

When you write, state your purpose clearly in one sentence. This will help you<br />

organize your ideas and avoid comments and details that detract (take away) from<br />

the main point you wish to make. Even if you do not use this sentence in your final<br />

version, your writing will be more focused, and the point you wish to make will<br />

be stronger.<br />

If, for instance, Ms. Johnson had said to herself, before she began to writing her letter,<br />

“I want the San Martino Bee to know that I wish to discontinue my service and that<br />

I expect to be fully reimbursed for all of the papers that were delivered wet or that<br />

never arrived,” she would have written a very different letter. The result might look<br />

like the letter on the next page.<br />

37


March 8, 2005<br />

Dear San Martino Bee,<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

I am writing this letter to end my subscription to your newspaper. In addition, I request<br />

a refund of $27.00. I would like this matter resolved quickly and professionally.<br />

Over the course of the last two months, I have received nine wet newspapers; these<br />

papers were not placed in plastic wrap (as I understand to be the normal procedure<br />

on rainy days), nor were they placed under the awning of the house, where they would have<br />

been protected from the rain. On each of these occasions, I called your customer service<br />

department and requested a new paper; each time I was assured that the paper would be<br />

redelivered before the end of the day. Only three papers were redelivered.<br />

Furthermore, within the same two-month period, 3 newspapers were never delivered<br />

at all. Each time I contacted your customer service department and was promised a new<br />

paper by the end of the day. Only one of the 3 missing newspapers was redelivered.<br />

I have also spoken with the newspaper boy. I have explained to him that I have not been<br />

happy with the service and that I intended to end my subscription if delivery did not<br />

improve. While he was attentive and courteous at all times, the situation has not improved.<br />

In all, you have overcharged me for 8 newspapers. Please send a refund of $27.00<br />

( 8 newspapers @ $ .50 per paper). Since I do not believe that your service will improve,<br />

I also wish to discontinue my subscription to your paper, effective immediately. Please<br />

confirm receipt of this letter and send a check for $27.00 by the end of the week.<br />

Sincerely,<br />

Esther Johnson<br />

38


CAHSEE Example<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Reread the passage “My Brain” on page 7. Then answer the following question,<br />

which focuses on unity.<br />

Which of the following sentences does NOT fit well in the paragraph in which<br />

it is found?<br />

A. “I love to play music and I especially like to make it up as I go along.”<br />

(first paragraph)<br />

B. “I also like to write poetry.” (second paragraph)<br />

C. “I like doing math problems.” (fourth paragraph)<br />

D. “For example, I am really pretty good at math and other things that require<br />

me to be logical.” (third paragraph)<br />

Source: California Department of Education, 2004<br />

CAHSEE Example<br />

Reread the passage “Shower of Light”, which appears on page 25.<br />

Then answer the following question, which focuses on unity.<br />

Which sentence is NOT related to the main idea of paragraph 2?<br />

A. sentence 9<br />

B. sentence 0<br />

C. sentence<br />

D. sentence 2<br />

Source: California Department of Education, 2004<br />

39


CAHSEE on Target<br />

III. Information Resources<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

When conducting research on a subject, there are a variety of information resources<br />

that you can draw upon. All of them can be found in a good library. Some can be accessed<br />

on the Internet.<br />

A. Almanacs<br />

Almanacs give up-to-date facts, figures, charts, and tables in a very brief and<br />

concise format. Almanacs cover a wide range of topics, including famous people<br />

and events, weather, geography, and economics. Since almanacs are updated<br />

each year, make sure you have the most recent edition if you need the latest<br />

available facts and figures. On the other hand, if you need data from an earlier year<br />

(for example, the population of China in 956), consult the almanac for that year<br />

(in this case, 956). Most libraries collect almanacs that go back many years.<br />

To find a particular topic in an almanac, consult the index at the back of the book.<br />

(An index is an alphabetical list of names, places, topics and sub-topics covered in<br />

the book, along with the pages on which they are mentioned or discussed.)<br />

B. Encyclopedias<br />

Like almanacs, encyclopedias provide information on a wide range of topics.<br />

In encyclopedias, however, the information is much more thorough and<br />

comprehensive; while an almanac will provide you with the facts and a brief<br />

overview on a topic, an encyclopedia will contain an entire narrative, which may<br />

span several pages (depending on the topic).<br />

Encyclopedias generally consist of several volumes, which are alphabetically<br />

organized. Sometimes, there is one volume for each letter of the alphabet;<br />

other times, volumes may combine two or more letters (e.g., M/N). Within each<br />

volume, broad topics are listed in alphabetical order; sub-topics are organized<br />

in terms of importance. For example, if you were searching for information on the<br />

Han Dynasty of China, you would begin with the “C” volume of the<br />

encyclopedia and search alphabetically for China. Once you found<br />

China, you would skim the pages until you came to the<br />

sub-heading entitled “History”; then, within the History<br />

sub-heading, you would skim again until you found the<br />

sub-heading for “Han Dynasty.”<br />

40


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

C. Biographies<br />

Biographies are articles or books written about one person.<br />

There exist biographies about almost every major historical<br />

person that you can imagine. While most biographies are<br />

written about famous people, they are not limited to the<br />

famous; in fact, many writers have written biographies of their<br />

fathers, mothers, or siblings.<br />

Note: An autobiography is also a book written about one<br />

person, but the author is the same person being written<br />

about. Remember: “auto” means self, so the biography is<br />

written about oneself.<br />

D. Atlases<br />

Atlases are books that contain maps. World atlases contain<br />

maps of the continents, countries, states, provinces, and<br />

major bodies of water (oceans, rivers, lakes). In addition,<br />

they provide brief facts about each country and a picture<br />

of the country’s flag.<br />

E. Dictionaries<br />

Dictionaries list all of the words in a language and provide<br />

their definitions and pronunciations. Words in the dictionary<br />

are listed in alphabetical order.<br />

F. Directories<br />

Directories, such as phone books, give very brief information<br />

(addresses, phone numbers, fax numbers, email addresses,<br />

and web sites) about people, organizations, companies,<br />

or institutions.<br />

G. Gazetteers<br />

Gazetteers are geographical dictionaries. They list places<br />

(countries, states, cities, towns, villages) and their locations.<br />

These locations are identified through coordinates,<br />

such as lines of longitude and latitude. Most atlases<br />

contain gazetteers.<br />

4


H. Periodicals<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Periodicals are publications that are published on a regular basis. They are<br />

called “periodicals” because they are published periodically (recurring at regular<br />

intervals, or periods, of time.)<br />

Examples of periodicals include newspapers, magazines, and journals:<br />

• Newspapers contain the news. They provide, in summary form, factual<br />

information about an event (i.e. the “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,”<br />

and “how”). Newspapers cover recent events in world politics, national<br />

politics, and local politics; the financial markets; and the sports scene.<br />

National newspapers, such as The New York Times concentrate on world<br />

and national news, whereas local newspapers, such as The Sacramento Bee,<br />

focus more on state and local news. Since newspapers are published daily,<br />

they provide the most up-to-date information available.<br />

• Magazines also cover major news events, often in more detail than newspapers.<br />

While many magazines cater to a general audience and cover topics of broad<br />

interest, there are those that are more specialized and aimed at a narrower<br />

section of the population (for example, magazines that specialize in gardening,<br />

music or sports.) Even more specialized are the “trade magazines”; these are<br />

aimed at those in a particular trade (or profession), such as advertising executives<br />

or interior designers. Magazines are generally published weekly (Time) or<br />

monthly (The Atlantic).<br />

• Journals are scholarly publications. They contain long, detailed articles written<br />

by specialists in an academic discipline, such as sociology, psychology, or<br />

medicine. Unlike magazine articles, journal articles are research oriented.<br />

They are generally published monthly, bi-monthly (every two months), quarterly<br />

(every three months - - four times a year) or semi-annually (every six months).<br />

42


I. Textbooks<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Textbooks are books that contain information on an academic subject and are<br />

commonly used in the classroom by students and teachers. They are organized by<br />

“chapter,” each of which focuses on a particular topic. Often the knowledge base<br />

deepens from one chapter to the next, with a topic introduced in the first chapter<br />

and expanded upon in subsequent chapters. For this reason, textbooks should be<br />

read sequentially (in the order in which the material is presented); otherwise, a<br />

student may have difficulty following the explanations and examples that appear later.<br />

For a quick overview of the topics presented in a textbook, consult the table of contents<br />

at the beginning of the book. To locate more specific information, consult the index<br />

(an alphabetical list of names, places, topics and sub-topics covered in the book, along<br />

with the pages on which they are mentioned or discussed). The index appears at the<br />

back of the book. To quickly find the definition of a technical or specialized term used<br />

in the book, consult the glossary (a list of terms and their definitions, arranged in<br />

alphabetical order), which also appears at the back of the book.<br />

J. Documentaries<br />

Documentaries are films or TV programs that present facts about a person or event.<br />

Like a biography, a documentary may tell the story of a person’s life; like an encyclopedia,<br />

it may cover the major facts about an event; and like a magazine article, it may provide<br />

a detailed narrative on an event. The major difference is the format in which the<br />

information is presented: a documentary is an audiovisual resource.<br />

43


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Practice: Match each question with the correct resource.<br />

Choose from the following resources:<br />

almanac, atlas, biography, dictionary, encyclopedia, gazetteer, newspaper, and directory.<br />

. When did the Civil War begin and end?<br />

__________________________________________<br />

2. What’s the latitude and longitude of Paris, France?<br />

__________________________________________<br />

3. What is the proper pronunciation of the word “museum”?<br />

__________________________________________<br />

4. What are the major museums in Sacramento, California?<br />

__________________________________________<br />

5. Where can I find more about the life of William Shakespeare, particularly his childhood?<br />

__________________________________________<br />

6. What was the population of Kentucky in 200 ?<br />

__________________________________________<br />

7. What was the score for the game between the Chicago Bulls and the Sacramento Kings<br />

last night?<br />

__________________________________________<br />

8. Is Charleston, South Carolina on the Atlantic Ocean?<br />

__________________________________________<br />

44


CAHSEE Example<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Reread the passage “The Abominable Snowman”, which appears on pages 23 and 24.<br />

Then answer the question, which focuses on information resources.<br />

Based on the essay, which of the following would be the BEST source of information<br />

to demonstrate that the Yeti most likely does NOT exist?<br />

A. a book of Nepalese legends which contains stories about the Yeti<br />

B. a documentary about the Yeti containing interviews with Yeti believers<br />

C. a poster which has pictures of all known Himalayan mammals<br />

D. a magazine article which demonstrates the falsehood of all supposed Yeti sightings<br />

Source: California Department of Education, 2004<br />

45


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

IV. How to Write and Interpret a Bibliography<br />

On the CAHSEE, you may be asked to interpret parts of a bibliography. A bibliography is<br />

a list of all of the references, or sources of information, used in any research report or study.<br />

There are different bibliographical styles that are used, but the most common one, as well as<br />

the one used on the CAHSEE, is the one we will examine in this packet.<br />

A. Order of Entries<br />

As we said above, a bibliography is a list of references. The list is compiled in<br />

alphabetical order, based on each author’s last name.<br />

Example: Look at the three bibliographical entries below:<br />

Harrison, Abigal. The Invention of Superglue. New York: Pearson Press, 2003.<br />

Martin, Julia. The Age of Superglue. Boston: Mint Press, 2004.<br />

Wheeler, Beatrice. The Dangers of Superglue. New Orleans: Crescent Press, 2004.<br />

Notice that the entries above are listed alphabetically by the authors’ last names:<br />

Harrison, Martin & Wheeler.<br />

46


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

On Your Own: Rewrite the four entries below in their correct order.<br />

Cramer, Elizabeth. A Day at the Races. London: Rein Press, 2004.<br />

Brent, Gerald. The Kentucky Derby. Philadelphia: Bryce Books, 2000.<br />

Baker, Amy. A History of Race Horses. San Francisco: Penwick Press, 2004.<br />

Caiter, Ronald. A History of the Kentucky Derby. New York: Brighton Press, 2003.<br />

47


B. Bibliographical Format<br />

CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

The most common bibliographical format is the following:<br />

Author’s Last Name, Author’s First Name. Title of Book. City in which book was<br />

published: Name of Publishing Company, Year in which the book was published.<br />

Notice the punctuation:<br />

. A comma (,) separates the author’s last name from his/her first name.<br />

2. A period (.) separates the author’s first name from the book title.<br />

3. A period (.) separates the title of the book from the city in which the book<br />

was published.<br />

4. A colon (:) separates the city from the name of the publishing company.<br />

5. A comma (,) separates the name of the publishing company from the year<br />

in which the book was published.<br />

6. A period (.) ends the entry.<br />

Here is an example of an entry in proper bibliographical format:<br />

Example:<br />

Thackery, William. Vanity Fair. New York: Random House, 200 .<br />

On Your Own: Answer the questions based on the above entry:<br />

. Where was the book published? ____________________________<br />

2. In what year was the book published? ____________________________<br />

3. Who published the book? ________________________________________________<br />

4. What is the name of the book? ____________________________________________<br />

5. What is the author’s complete name? ______________________________________<br />

48


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Practice: Read the following bibliography and answer the questions that follow:<br />

Balmuth, Miriam. The Roots of Phonics: A Historical Introduction.<br />

New York: Teachers College Press, 995.<br />

Barth, Roland. Improving Schools from Within.<br />

San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers, 99 .<br />

Bowen, William & Bok, Derek. The Shape of the River.<br />

Princeton: Princeton University Press, 998.<br />

Lemann, Nicholas. The Big Test.<br />

New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 999.<br />

Questions:<br />

. Who wrote The Shape of the River?<br />

_______________________________________________________________________<br />

2. In the second entry, what does “San Francisco” refer to?<br />

_______________________________________________________________________<br />

3. In the third entry, what does “Princeton University Press” refer to?<br />

_______________________________________________________________________<br />

4. Which of the four books listed above is the most recently published?<br />

_______________________________________________________________________<br />

5. Where was The Big Test published?<br />

_______________________________________________________________________<br />

6. Who published The Roots of Phonics?<br />

_______________________________________________________________________<br />

49


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

Strand Review: Read the following passage, which appeared on the CAHSEE, and then answer<br />

all of the questions that follow.<br />

Amelia Earhart: An Aviation Pioneer<br />

( ) Earhart began her flying career soon after airplanes were first invented. (2) As a child,<br />

she was fascinated by the idea of being a pilot. (3) At the age of 23, she took flying lessons<br />

from Neta Snook, one of very few women pilots at the time. (4) In 92 Earhart bought<br />

her own airplane. (5) And she used it to set the first of many aviationrecords. (6) She flew<br />

up to 4,000 feet, setting the women’s altitude record.<br />

(7) In 928 Earhart was the first woman to cross the Atlantic by air. (8) The trip took about<br />

2 hours. (9) She published a book about her experiences and followed it with a lecture<br />

tour. ( 0) A few years later, in 932, she piloted a plane from Newfoundland to Northern<br />

Ireland, making her the first woman to fly across the Atlantic alone. ( ) Then she went<br />

on to do many other things in aviation. ( 2) In fact, Earhart became an important pioneer<br />

in the world of aviation.<br />

( 3) In June of 937 Earhart and her navigator Frederick<br />

Noonan left Miami, Florida, in an attempt to fly around<br />

the world. ( 4) The pair made it to New Guinea on<br />

June 30. ( 5) Earhart and Noonan had traveled a<br />

distance of 20,000 miles across the Pacific Ocean before<br />

their plane was lost. ( 6) Amelia Earhart, one of the most<br />

renownedaviators in history, dared to attempt the most<br />

hazardous flights of her time. ( 7) In her own words,<br />

she summed up her philosophy: “Courage is the price<br />

that life exacts for granting peace with yourself.”<br />

50


CAHSEE on Target<br />

UC Davis, School and University Partnerships<br />

Student Workbook: <strong>Writing</strong> <strong>Strategies</strong> Strand<br />

CAHSEE release questions based on “Amelia Earhart”<br />

. Which sentence would BEST begin the essay?<br />

A. This paper is about Amelia Earhart, a famous pilot.<br />

B. Most people like to red about famous pilots.<br />

C. There are several interesting facts about Amelia Earhart, a famous airplane pilot.<br />

D. Amelia Earhart was one of the most famous airplane pilots of her time.<br />

2. What is the BEST way to combine the sentences labeled 4 and 5?<br />

A. In 92 Earhart bought her own plane and used it to set the first of many<br />

aviation records.<br />

B. Buying her own plane in 92 , the first of many aviation records was set<br />

by Earhart.<br />

C. The first of many aviation records was set in 92 by Earhart when she bought<br />

her own plane and used it.<br />

D. Setting the first of many aviation records in 92 , Earhart bought her own plane.<br />

3. Which of the following would be the MOST precise way to state the underlined<br />

words in the sentence labeled ?<br />

A. have several other good times<br />

B. take some other actions<br />

C. find other adventures<br />

D. set other records<br />

4. What source is BEST for finding out what happened on Amelia Earhart’s flight from<br />

Newfoundland to Northern Ireland?<br />

A. a chapter in a history textbook<br />

B. an encyclopedia article on Earhart<br />

C. a book on the construction of airplanes<br />

D. a biography of Earhart<br />

Source: California Department of Education, 2004<br />

5

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