SPORTS - Celebrity High Magazine

Types of Abuse
Dating violence may look different
in each relationship. Here are
just a few examples of what each
type of abuse can include:
• Physical abuse is any unwanted
physical contact like hitting, slapping,
holding you down, pulling your hair,
pushing, blocking your way or spitting.
It doesn’t have to leave a mark or even
hurt for it to be abusive.
• Verbal/emotional abuse includes
threatening you, calling you names,
setting rules for you or trying to control
your behavior. Verbal and emotional
abuse is sometimes disguised as jokes.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend makes
jokes that make you feel threatened or
bad about yourself – that’s not okay.
• Sexual abuse can be pressuring you
into doing something sexually you
don’t want to do, rape, unwanted touching
or kissing and refusing to use or
damaging your birth control method.
It’s important to remember: No matter
what you’ve down with someone sexually
in the past, you always have the
right to say “no” and be respected for
that choice.
• Technological abuse is when your
partner demands your passwords to social
networking sites like Facebook or
mySpace, sets rules about who you can
be friends with online, sends unwanted
texts or phone calls, checks your phone
history or damages your computer.
Cycle of Abuse
In many abusive relationships,
abuse is not a one time incident.
While every relationship is different,
many abusive relationships
follow a repeating pattern called
the Cycle of Abuse. The Cycle of
Abuse has three phases: Tension
Building, Explosion and Honeymoon.
1. In the Tension Building phase,
things start to become difficult between
you and your dating partner. You may
feel like you need to tip-toe around him
or her, or that you’re always getting
into fights and taking the blame.
2. During the Explosion, an incident
of abusive behavior happens. It can be
something like yelling at you in front of
people or hitting you for the first time.
Explosions tend to get more severe
each time and happen more often as the
relationship goes on.
3. In the Honeymoon, an abuser tries
to make you forgive and forget whatever
happened in the Explosion. He or she
might apologize, promise it will never
happen again, buy you gifts or blame it
on something else like being drunk or
stressed out.
What Can You
Do?
If you see warning signs of
abuse now, it is likely that it will
get worse. Here are some tips on
how to keep
as safe as possible if you
or someone you know is thinking
about leaving an abusive
relationship:
• Tell someone you trust (a family
member, a friend, teacher or coach)
about the abuse
• Keep records of anything the abuser
sends like texts, voicemails and
emails and store them in a safe place.
They may be helpful later in getting a
restraining order.
• Create a safety plan. To learn
more about safety planning, visit
breakthecycle.org.
• File for a restraining order. It’s
free and can keep an abuser from
threatening, contacting or coming
near you or your friends. Visit
breakthecycle.org to find out the law in
your state.
Spotlight on
Technology
Abuse
We often think of love like it is
portrayed in the movies, consumingcan’t-stop-thinking
about-you, wantto-spend-every-waking-minute-withyou
love. But in the real world,
that kind of love is not only
unrealistic, it’s unhealthy. Telephone
by Lady GaGa featuring Beyonce
makes the important point that
obsessive relationships can be
stressful and exhausting:
The stress from being in constant
communication with your partner can
affect you in
many negative ways. Checking your
phone constantly and nonstop texting
can make it
impossible to live in the moment. This
song sends an empowering message
to anyone
in this kind of unhealthy relationship.
Change your routine, ditch your
phone,
hang out with friends, family or just
have some “me” time.
To learn more visit:
www.thesafespace.org
thesafespace.org
popQuiz: Is Your
Relationship
Healthy?
Everyone deserves to be in a safe and
healthy relationship. Do you know if
your relationship is as healthy as you
deserve? Answer “yes” or “no” to the
following statements to find out! Have
a piece of paper and pen nearby. At the
end you’ll find out how to score your
answers. (QUIZ IS ON NEXT PAGE)