DAVID SEDARIS

Recommendations

Info

my candy keep out!
Out in the hallway I could hear my mother straining for something to talk about. “A boat!” she said. “That sounds marvelous. Can you just drive it right into the water?” “Actually, we have a trailer,” Mr. Tomkey said. “So what we do is back it into the lake.” “Oh, a trailer. What kind is it?” “Well, it’s a boat trailer,” Mr. Tomkey said. “Right, but is it wooden or, you know … I guess what I’m asking is what style trailer do you have?” Behind my mother’s words were two messages. The first and most obvious was “Yes, I am talking about boat trailers, but also I am dying.” The second, meant only for my sisters and me, was “If you do not immediately step forward with that candy you will never again experience freedom, happiness, or the possibility of my warm embrace.” I knew that it was just a matter of time before she came into my room and started collecting the candy herself, grabbing indiscriminately, with no regard for my rating system. Had I been thinking straight, I would have hidden the most valuable items in my dresser drawer, but instead, panicked by the thought of her hand on my 55
Page 1:
What About Understanding Owls? a co
Page 7 and 8: What About Understanding Owls? a co
Page 9: Dedicated to my A dva nc e d P ro b
Page 12 and 13: LAUGH, KOOKABURRA from Let’s Expl
Page 15 and 16: countryside. Hugh and I didn’t se
Page 17 and 18: friends. “It’s nothing to be pr
Page 19 and 20: called Daylesford, which looked, wh
Page 21 and 22: “Is that normal in Australia?”
Page 23 and 24: his third helping, I got used to th
Page 25 and 26: was the innocence of it. If I had c
Page 27 and 28: in on my upper thigh. Whap, whap, w
Page 30 and 31: - UNDERSTANDING OWLS from Let’s E
Page 33 and 34: ceiling, and if she wanted turkey v
Page 35 and 36: the old ones are. The store was ope
Page 37 and 38: owls, each mounted to a stump and s
Page 39 and 40: forearm, complete with little hairs
Page 41 and 42: dry and thin, like leather on an ol
Page 43 and 44: wasn’t heavy—in fact, it was su
Page 46 and 47: - TRICKED from Dress Your Family in
Page 48 and 49: not believe in television, my fathe
Page 50 and 51: intelligent and considerably more f
Page 52 and 53: always had, but the son and daughte
Page 56 and 57: doorknob, I tore off the wrappers a
Page 58 and 59: and of how alone and out of place t
Page 60: colophon This book was created by A
show all

DAVID SEDARIS

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?