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El Nogalar Study Guide (9MB) - Goodman Theatre

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Paperless<br />

BY GISSELA GUALOTO<br />

Waited for the moment with so much anticipation—<br />

the moment to escape and run to the arms of my father.<br />

Escape from a world that I didn’t choose.<br />

The moment to run away from rotten bread crumbs and<br />

the hunger I’ve come to know so well.<br />

As if that had formed my daily routine.<br />

I wonder what Papi is doing.<br />

I bet Mami is yelling at my brother or sister, to eat the few<br />

miseries she was able to find yesterday.<br />

From my eyes, tears of anger are born ...<br />

No, I didn’t choose my race or my flag or that piece of<br />

muddy land we lived in.<br />

It was given to us by the choice of God, or fate or a sad,<br />

sad mistake.<br />

I’m afraid—very afraid. We are ALL afraid actually.<br />

But we deny to admit it.<br />

“That’s not how brave people feel,” Mami would say.<br />

In this land of the rich, seems like time is playing a trick<br />

with me.<br />

And the ticker of the clock failed to go on to the next<br />

number.<br />

I was no longer Ecuadorian.<br />

I was now “THE PAPERLESS.”<br />

My knees are scarred.<br />

The entire journey seems hopeless.<br />

But I must continue,<br />

For my Papi: Who keeps wearing out his calloused hands<br />

to keep me alive.<br />

For my Mami: Whose tears I’ve witnessed shed, as she<br />

knelt in front of Jesus Christ.<br />

For my sister: Whose bravery radiates through her light<br />

brown eyes.<br />

And for my brother: Whose unique personality can make<br />

a bloodless corpse shake with laughter.<br />

If I were to fail ...<br />

IF I WERE TO FAIL.<br />

I’d fail with certainty that I never gave up because He<br />

held my hand through it all ...<br />

Pray for me, because my freedom is also our future.<br />

I want to change the world, but THE PAPERLESS can only<br />

do so much.<br />

Gissela is a Chicago teen who shared her poetry with<br />

the Albany Park <strong>Theatre</strong> Project via their Facebook wall.<br />

What do you think of Gissela’s experience? Do you know<br />

other teens in Chicago who identify with the persona<br />

attached to being paperless?<br />

ABOVE: A small fence separates densely populated Tijuana, Mexico, right, from the United States in the Border Patrol’s San Diego Sector.<br />

Construction is underway to extend a secondary fence over the top of this hill and eventually to the Pacific Ocean. Photo courtesy of Sgt. 1st<br />

Class Gordon Hyde.<br />

23<br />

<strong>El</strong><strong>Nogalar</strong>.indd 23<br />

3/25/2011 4:05:39 PM

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