STONER ALBUM REVIEWS ... - JPT Scare Band

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#STONERROCK ALBUM REVIEWS
Chrono has already done up a bunch of excellent cd reviews
CHECK EM OUT HERE and HERE at the #mp3-metal page. (cos I know fuck all about making webpages this website sucks in comparison!)
AND!! REVIEWS WILL BE POSTED IN ANY LANGUAGE SO ALL YOU CRAZY CULO SPANIARDS AND ANYONE ELSE, GET TO IT!
Let everyone know how much killer and how much filler is on each album.
Feel free to review an album that has already been reviewed, put forth your opinion, argue like a motherfucker, bitchslap one another, drill yourself with a baseball bat, whatever...there
are no rules . Thanks to Dfanto for suggesting this page!
JPT Scare Band -"Sleeping Sickness"
Reviewer: Ntzr
Mmm, this is the tenth time I hear the fuckin album in 2 days-time. Sometimes when you hear an album so many times is not a good thing,
let me explain it. There are songs you can hardly get into'em, and often you dig'em when you have heard'em for the 30th time (and not so
many after puttin’ the goddamn album into the hidden drawer of you desktop not to see how you have wasted your money in such a bad
stuff!). Well, this is not the way now. This is a real masterpiece you dig it at the first hearing. One day (maybe too often) I was fed up tryin' to
leech more and more mp3's (as ever, I know!) and you have 2 options when you’re bored to death: you can d/l the photos of that blonde
chick you'll really love to fuck (wankers!!!) o you can be a private eye and try to get some info about some "new" groups. I put new between
quotation marks because this is NOT at all a new album, even a reissue. I saw Stonerrock.com links web page, and I went through its official
website. Simple to the point (even stupid and dull webpage). I saw those guys and their fashion all together..I thought...fuckin dudes, possin'
kinda Mc5 guys with those crazy cool hairs and old gear around, maybe they think they have goin' through time tunnels to nowadays...I
thought they were Grand Funk R. impersonators too..all the pictures were dated 1970's and on...Didn't know, so I tried to d/l some songs
from Sonichangover (thanx dude for all the stuff from your cool hd!). Well...one and a half month later I heard those songs (hehehe) and
wow, they were so cool, ..but...what the fuck! one of the songs was incomplete. "Shit! I have to buy it now!" I said. And that day came some
days ago, and since then I put this fuckin cd in my stereo at volume 11 to fuck my even more fucked mind (and my neighborhood too)...
Let's go with the review, fuckers, hahahaha...
Here we have a really old stuff, that compiles 3 recording sessions in diferent locations dated between 1973-1976. We cannot find here
clean sound, beautifully produced, not overdubs...all is recorded live, uncut with the companion of drugs and chicks everywhere, I suppose
;-). Recordings history is really cool (if you can see me in the channel ask for the cd scans), but I will explain just a little that, to make it easy
to you all. They went to record some sessions to some lonely houses, all'em in Missouri, surrounded by people gunfiring, helicopters and
police sirens chasing "suspicious" guys...They had all the gear in the basement of the house (made of stone). No mixing boards, no EQ,
only the gear and 2 mics ready to get all the sound possible to the reel-to-reel machine. In other locations they had a more proper stuff to
record. They began to record in the dining room and the drummer got the rudest sticks in the world those days (Pro Mark 909 "Heavy Soul"
ones -good cool name, aren't they? hehe), and the mixer man couldn't hardly hear his own mixing with his shitty headphones,...besides
there was another "problem" to get concentrated...there were two beautiful chicks around him that made him impossible to "record" that in a
betta way...more professional one, hehehe. Cool way to record songs, isn’t it?
[A short ad...someone in the channel ask me about who the hell reviewers make reviews explaining the gear used and abused on the
recording of the album....It's me, man! (hi Shocky!) Here I go... Guitars: Fender Strat's 1954, Telecaster 1951 and 1975 Custom, 1975
Gibson ES-345 and Rickenbacker 4001 Bass (good old gear, dudes!) Drums (get the photo please, goddamn cool!). 1963 Ludwing 5-piece
drumset and Zildjian cymbals. Amps: Sunn Concert, Ampeg V-4 and Rocky Rude Custom ones (wow....what a gear!). That’s it, hehehe]
Hehe, and the music itself? What the hell is the music itself, crazy stupid reviewer? Mmmm, try to imagine this... mix in a hellish mixer some
Hendrix, Cream and Grand Funk Railroad, sum some drops of even more psychodelic sounds, and really hard hangovers about (advice for
poppy sounds: this is not an album made for queery ears that believe a 15-minute jam is a fuck or a dull thing) really awesome Jams (with
capital J), from the beginning to the end, and you can even realize the song growing when they got into it after checking the gear. The length
of the cd is really superb (you should remember that they are 2 -even 3-sessions and it can be called a double-album). 74 minutes with 7
songs, where you can find the shortest one (5:31) and it looks like punkish among the rest of them, hehe. Definetively, a classic album for
many styles lovers (Hendrix psychodelia, allucination Monster Magnet passages a-la-25..tab, Cream cool lyrics, and some doom and drone
sips (this is for you Davide Viajero, hehe) ). A coooool one, dudes. Mmm, i'm goin to hear it again, get a cool beer and getting drunk while
listening "Acid Acetate Excursion"...Someone wants to go to a excursion with me? (chicks preferent option, not julandrones (queers)
allowed). Hahaha. Have a good hearing, dudes.
Ntzr
Melvins – Hostile Ambient Takeover Reviewer: Dfanto
The Melvins = Stoner rock? They sure do. Why? Fat riffs mixed with some psychedelic noises, plus #stonerrock is the only place I've seen them being served on IRC, so yeah, for arguments sake, the Melvins are stoner rock.
What can I say? This album fucking rules. Of the people reading this, I’m guessing there are three
types:
- Those who have the album and couldn’t give a fuck about what I think;
- Those who have heard of the Melvins, but haven’t got HAT;
- Those who are wondering “Who the fuck are the Melvins”
Well, if you’re in the first group – Fuck you too! For the other two groups read on…
This Melvins album definitely falls in the rockin category of Melvins music. So if you have other
Melvins stuff, HAT is along the lines of Stoner Witch and Houdini. Be wary of albums like Honky and Colossus of Destiny, these are very much weird spacey time Melvins albums. Personally I love em, but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
Track 1 is nothing but a simple drum solo. Simple, but very effective, as “Black Stooges” kicks in after the 30 secs or so of drumming, and if turned up very loud, will rip you a new asshole with its extreme off beat riffage. However, after a few
listens this is one of the best Melvins song in existence. That’s not just my opinion, that’s a fact! “Dr Geek” gives us some country favoured Melvins, not in the sense of some of the tracks off the Crybaby, but more a rocking country acid
dropping vibe. Very cool indeed. The next track, “Little Judas Chongo”, has to be my fav songs on here. The first half has a wacky sounding distortion, that clears up (to a normal Melvins level)

which then proceeds to tear shit up. The worst part is it only lasts about 2 mins. Still, it’s 2 minutes of pure ecstasy.
Ahhh “The Fool The Meddling Idiot” is next and is the first of the weird stuff. This however is some more of the Melvins more accessible unusual stuff. Very slow and calm which slowly turns into a grinding well-rounded song. Like I said, not as
weird as, say, some of Honky, but still strange enough to scare some people off. However, the icing on the cake is the last 30 or so seconds in which all of a sudden the Melvins become an 80’s synth-pop band. Bizarre, but very cool. Which
leads onto the same drum solo as track 1; which then leads to another killer hard rocking sludgy riffage induced ecstasy entitled “The brain center at whipples”. This is another killer Melvins rock song. Track 7 is very cool too, a nice slowed
down hard rocker. Track 8 is a weird one.
About 15 minutes of weird, weird noise and experimentation. Don’t be frightened; give it a go,
because it’s not a real Melvins cd unless it has crazy shit like this at the end.
As per usual with the Melvins, the drumming gutair and bass playing are top notch. Throw on top of that some wacky lyrics and song titles, and you have a very very good album.
Overall, I think its plain too see that I love this cd.
Dfanto's Rating: I have to give HAT a 9/10. The –1 is for not enough tracks. One more killer hard sludger on top and this would be a tenner!
Dern Rutlidge - "Johnny no stars" Reviewer: Urbancoyote
No let up at all in the first two tracks: "Far from the Metal" opens up with an ominous and dark sound, with a touch of `Hells Bells` thrown in for good measure, and has a simple yet brutally catchy hook in the main riff. "Johnny No Stars" picks
up the pace a little, with a cool drum beat and great riff.
Next track in is "Lines on the table", with an intro a little reminiscent of the Stones and is real cool laid back track.
Into track 4 "Smells like Teen Pregnancy", a real godamn rockin tune, with a riff that just drills away, and real hypnotic bass line and drum beat running behind. I say hypnotic cos I played this track about 5 or 6 times before I snapped out of it
and moved on to the next track hehehe...
"CCR my survival" is next up, and definitely has a way cool CCR feel to it, at the start it sorta sounds a little bit like "Born on the bayou" by CCR (just the start bit hehe) and its in this track that I started to realise how good the vocals were on this
cd.
"When I`m rockin" kicks in, with a wind tunnel effect which gets steamrolled by a thick bludgeoning riff. Just a great rockin tune this, with some nice touches added in the background of the mix like hand claps etc which again show that these
guys have no shortage of ideas.
Track 7 is "Loaded", a song which was on a previous Dern ep. Its been re-recorded and comes up a treat, louder and to me seemed just a touch faster than the previous recorded version. Dern step on the gas in "On the Juice", pulling out a
rocking number, with some quick bursts of lead guitar work throughout and then the track busts wide open with a half time feel, heavyyy shiiit.
Next track up is a cover of "Where eagles dare", sounds good to me, cant remember ever hearing the original though, its a quick blast of a track clocking in at a touch over 2 minutes.
"Walk in the night" cools things right off, a very laid back track with sorta sets an odd sort of eerie atmosphere.
Laaast track is "Broken Girl" which has a droning heavy riff, once again very simple but sounds so good to the ear.
Urbancoyote reckons: 8 outta 10
Terra Firma: "Harms Way"
mountfestuvious reckons: "cool"
Clutch: "Clutch"
mountfestuvious' rating: "Unreal"
if Mr Festuvious is going into too much detail for you and you havent got time to read his long-winded encyclopaedia-like reviews, let him know in the chan hehehe.
GO TO THE LINKS PAGE....
GO TO THE ESSENTIAL ALBUMS PAGE...
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