2. how the story was shared.pdf

18 August 2010
Past six in the morning – TEST positive! I was still on leave – Rich was on his way to the office
already. It was SO surreal – but so flippen exciting!! Checked the pamphlet a few times to make
sure that two lines means two lines!! Walked around in circles in the kitchen, lounge...not know
what to do with myself – was so excited and at the same time – SO surprised!! Then called Rich –
and had a brief chat and then said ‘Rich...die toets was positief’ – Rich with an instant smile, that I
could hear throught the phone, did a ‘happy-nervous-yeah-gentle-laggie’ And then said ‘ is jy
ernstig’ ‘dis cool’ En toe ‘Maak nou ‘n afspraak by Dr Zinn, dan hoor ons ook wat hy se’
It was really, really exciting... the afternoon when I saw Rich it was also special to share the news
face to face and show him the test results! Rich even said...so, bel vir Hayley en se haar !! But I
wanted to wait for the Dr Zinn visit first
19 August 2010
I was off sick this day – really had bad flu... and then realised that I couldn’t take any medication.
20 August 2010
Went to work after leave. At the printer I was faxing off some Discovery Health claims when my
colleagues started a conversation about pregnancy. Then, the one heard incorrectly and asked ‘Wat,
Jo, Meryl??’ – then Jo, with confidence, said ‘Ja! Weet djy nie? Sy is ‘n maand en ‘n aand!’ – and we
burst out laughing as Bjorn realised she wasn’t being serious.
But the irony – Jo joking about this, when in fact - it was true.
Saw Dr Zinn at 12h30. It was incredible. Very emotional too when we saw the scan – and as Dr Zinn
said ‘if it’s positive, it’s positive’...responding to my news that the the home pregnancy test was
positive. And during the scan he said ‘oh...it’s very real’...
Straight after that, Rich said to me ‘this is good news, this is very good news’ - it was SO great to
see his excitement! And then the next thing was – sharing the news with Scott & Hayley and Chris
& Lara.

Our plan was to tell them first –then the parents.
We then decided that we would make copies of the ultrasound pics and give little envelopes to share
the news – but only envelopes for Tubmans, Husteds, Myrtles, Parents and Gar.
I went back to work – so super excited –but didn’t share with anyone.
After work, we popped by the Tubman house. I gave Hayley a hug and her words to me was ‘what?
are you here to tell us you’re pregnant! ’ I laughed and said, no Hayley (!) – but we did bring you a
little invitation.
They both opened the envelope and it was smiles and excitement all round! Hayley even shed a
little tear! Sadly Scott had to run off to Cutting Edge – but later that night he sms’d to say that all
he could think about was our news
Then we called the Husteds. Wanted to go to their flat to tell them – but they were on their way to
the Airport with Andrew. We were so bummed – so we went and had Thai at Thai World and talked
about man...what now...they can’t see us!! We want to share this with them ASAP...
So, they couldn’t see us and then we talked about telling the Myrtles and the parents that night still
and our plan was to meet the Husteds the Saturday.
Called Tannie Myrtle to ask if we could come over – she said sure, but they were at Pizza World to
pick up dinner. So, Rich and I decided to go to them, via Pizza World.
When we got there, Tannie Myrtle anxiously asked ‘ wat is dit nou??!!’ – I said, niks, hoekom? Then
she said ‘want hoekom sal julle nou sommer op ‘n Vrydag aand hier omkom!’ - I then said ‘okay
tannie, ons gaan trek...’ She looked at me all puzzled and said ‘?? Wat??? Waantoe?? Hoekom??’ – I
then laughed and said ‘nee tannie – ons het net gou vir julle die uitnodigings gebring.
I then handed her and Anique each an envelope with the scan pics in. Ana opened hers first. And
looked up and said ‘yeah!’ and Tannie Myrle looked at it...paused... looked around and said.... ‘so
hoekom vertel julle vir my H-I-E-R!!!’ – ‘tussen die lelike decor en al die world cup vlae?!!!’ And then
smiled and was SO thrilled!! It was really so special to see their reaction.
Incidentally, Pizza World is also the venue where Ana and I had lunch the first time after I got
engaged, so it’s not a stylish plekkie, but a special plekkie.
Next, we all went to 4 le Roux lane to share the news with Oom Jacques. He was SO happy and ‘baie
geluk!’ came with much enthusiasm. He did later share with us ‘onthou net, ek kan nou vir julle se,
maar – baba’s is nie mooi nie...’ Quite sweet.
They then wanted us to stay, but we had to press on. Still had to tell mother and the Rabe-parents.
So, we sms’d the Rabe-parents to say ‘we are on our way back from a restaurant in the area – would
they mind if we popped over for coffee’ – we arrived, had a lekker teetjie and then Rich gave them
the envelope. It was so funny. Ma didn’t know WHAT she was looking at! She said, ‘is dit twee
torings?’ – don’t know WHERE she saw that (!) – then Pa looked at it and said ‘huh...is dit ‘n sonar?’
– and we said ‘JA!’ they looked up...paused and then Ma leaped up from her chair and hugged us

She also shared that earlier that day there was talk at her school about when who was going to be
grannies and her reply was ‘nee, wat...ek dink ek gaan nog llllaaannnkkk wag’
Next-up, same night – we checked if mom was at Gar’s flat or in Melkbos. Then we went through to
Gar’s flat. It was already almost 23h00. We gave her the envelope and she said ‘is dit JOU baba?’
and then looked up and said ‘ooh, moet net nie voor die tyd uitvind wat dit is nie!!’ – and then
straight after ‘maar ek weet dit gaan ‘n dogtertjie wees’!
Then after a few moments her shock turned into verbal diarea and she couldn’t stop talking.
Proposing names, checking the calendar when she would be here for the March holidays and also
asked ‘wanneer gaan julle die kind laat doop?!’ – so funny – I mean hello mother...that thought has
NOT YET crossed our minds
She then wanted to tell C – but we said PLEASE don’t tell ANYONE – we want to tell them
OURSELVES. It was torture for her to not talk about this. I then told her that we were going to tell
Gareth after this, so she could talk to him about it.
We also asked the Rabe-parents to please NOT share the news yet...
Then, called Gar and asked him to pass by our flat on his way home from Lana. Gave him the
envelope. He looked up and said with big happy eyes: ‘are you pregnant!’ and before I could
answer he hugged me. Was sweet.
So that was the Friday. Tubmans, Myrtles, Parents and Gar knew. We were so bummed that
Husteds didn’t know yet and was anxious to see them!
On Satruday, tried to see Husteds again, but they had mark’s rugby on. Then we went to the market
with Hayley, Ben and Jem. Scott was somewhere. We were still so excited and as we were pushing
Ben and Jem on the swings, Hayley said ‘why don’t you tell them (the kids) now?’ – I smiled and said
something like, no, they will tell (!) – but she said no, we will tell them not to tell.
Anyway – then I took Ben aside and said hey ben...do you know that ...bla-bla, re going to have a
baby. He looked up with an instant smile – and then with a sadder face, he turned around and
started drawing in the sand... Hayley said – well, that’s not the reaction that we were hoping for...
Jemma didn’t really understand, but smiled. Then Ben got all akward and quiet – and we then said
okay, let’s get breakfast rolls and eat.
Then at the table, Ben came to me and asked ‘Meryl, does this mean that you won’t love me
anymore???’ – all sad... I said ‘NO!!! Ben!!!!’ and then he said ‘Does this mean that you won’t
come and visit us anymore??’ . . . . shame, arme Ben!!
I then explained to him HOW MUCH we love him and that doesn’t matter WHAT he tries, he will
never get rid of us! He then gave me a big, big hug and then was more okay after that...how
sweet...
Anique then came and joined us at the market and after that we went to the Edwards home. Plan
was to share the news with John and Charl. Was a nice teetjie-tyd with them and the afternoon I
told John – who was delighted and later when Charl arrived, we told him too!

The evening the Husteds still couldn’t see us, so we had a chilled eve at home.
Sunday’s plan was to tell them – but they couldn’t see us. We invited them for a bite to eat before
evening church – as Chris was due to give the ‘Egg on Toast’ talk. They declined, saying they had Loo
and the aussie friends with them – but then said that all of them were going to come over before
church. We were cool with that, except that we wanted to TELL them... so we talked about it over
and over and over as to come up with the ‘best’ way to tell them.
They arrived, we all had coffee and chats and then I told Rich that we should call them to the room
and tell them there. Rich didn’t think it was a great idea and thought it would look rude. Long story
short, we were anxious to tell them and then Rich decided that we should just tell them there, in the
lounge, and give them their envelope with the scanned pic in...
Chris took the envelope, and said ‘what is this?!..’ - and then when they opened it – Lara looked up
at me, was red in the face and with a surprised look said something like ‘are you pregnant!!’ – the
next few moments they were full of smiles and said congratulations, but then their ‘excitement’ was
reserved. More shock too. The others and Loo obviously saw all of this happening and
congratulated us. On the way down to the car park, Loo told me again, congrats, which was nice.
And the rest of the time, Chris and Lara were a bit quiet... I noticed it, but didn’t think much of it at
the time.
Eventually, we learned that they were really, really, really upset by the WAY in which we had told
them. Thought we weren’t sensitive enough, thought we weren’t taking their situation into account
– trying to fall pregnant for 2 years already, etc. They started avoiding us, kept their distance and
from when we told them to October there was almost no contact. Then we drafted an email to ask
them what’s up – but they then sent us an email the Sunday and said that this was the reason. We
apologised and apologised and apologised – but doesn’t look like there’s a shift in them feeling very
hurt and disappointed. We feel beyond, beyond terrible and especially since this friendship means
so much to us. To date (Dec 2010) not much change in our relationship which is very, very, very
heart-breaking...
Back to sharing the story: At Church – I then told the first Small Group member – Dani Turner, then
after church told Leights and Kitty – was so exciting to share this with them (who at that stage was 7
months pregnant), told Cheryl, told Ingrid. At home, phoned Andrea, then Mich and C, then Luce,
then Erna, then Geraldine. Andrea was all emotional about the news
Rich then called Willie and shared the news – he was watching wall-e at the time... then called Tiaan
and told him too. Richardt also eventually spoke to Honnie and told her.
Smesed the Belgian fam then and then called Pamster. What a happy receiver of news! Pam
shouted so loudly that everyone could hear her. She asked me how my health was etc, etc then said
something like, so, now that you are better, will you start trying for a little one? Upon which I said
‘well, actually, this is what I need to tell you’ – and her joy took over and she was delighted! Said
she’d send me the ‘what to expect’ book, etc etc – was SO nice to chat to her about this! So nice!
Sent Kerry and Craig a mail too and smessed Gillian and Rianne.

Monday morning, on my way to the office, I called Karelien and told her, then called Kim Herzfeld –
was nice to hear her voice, then at the office, I called Ster – what another exciting chat! Then told Jo
at the office – wanted to tell her first – then told Itumeleng who responded ‘I knew it!’ – and I said
‘oh, so you knew before I knew!’ - Then told Marlotte and Marlena and Marlotte assured me that
this was the BEST thing that would ever happen to me. Then called Sune – she was beside herself
and said that this was the best news that she’d heard! Was also another very, very nice chat. Then
took Riana to the boardroom, showed her the pic and she couldn’t believe it! Later in the day,
called Tash – she wanted to know if I knew already, when we saw them just after our anniversary –
but I didn’t ; shared it with Nina, Amanda over the phone (she was on leave) – Debbie, Lennox,
Nolene, Felicity and Nomonde in Felice’s office and from there, the news spread.
Then sent a mail to the rest: Tredeaux, Shelley, rest of the Belgians, Sophster. All received the news
with such happiness. It was really nice to read their replies. Sent to the HT crowd and Jo&Franci
too.
We went to our Oudtshoorn trip, and there smessed the rest whilst the others went to the cango
caves. Ewald, Chad, Melissa&Gareth, Kirsten&Stephen, Dave&Tiff, etc – church people mainly.
When we told Corrie after our Oudtshoorn trip, she too was SO emotional about it and so NICE
about it and wanted to keep the little scanned pic. Was so nice to see!
Dr Gordon heard via Dr Zinn and left me the nicest voice-message about HOW happy they all are!
What a phase in our lives...Dr Gordon...Dr Dennis... so greatful that God brought me through most of
that pain...
Sharing the news was really, really exciting. But seeing the Husteds response was really, really
upsetting and still, if we could do it differently, i.e. in how we told them, then we would. Last thing
we wanted was to hurt them.
Then decided, that I would send group mails to update all as the pregnancy progresses, especially
since Mom, Pamster, Belgians, etc live so far away. Want to keep them in the loop and want them
to share in this experience.
Again, so greatful to God – because ALL of this was HIS planning – it was unexpected for us, a happy
unexpected, but definitely God’s work – and we are so thankful to Him for our little rabe-bébé!
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