Parents

Parents
Your Child Could Be On Our Cover! P.71
Autism:
The Story
behind
raising an
autistic
child
Toddler
discipline
that
works
(really!)
MOTIVATE
YOUR CHILD
no nagging, no
bribing, no kidding
Easy ways to
Go Green
and save $$

The story of a mother raising an autistic child
By:Sofia Alejo
M yrna sat in the
doctor's office next to her husband,
waiting for the doctor to
come in with some type of explanation
as to what was going on
with her youngest child, Jose. She
breathed heavily while counting
every individual stitch on the maroon
chair that supported her
heavy soul. She sat there thinking
about all of the other mothers
who sat in that chair, wondering
if they felt as ill as she did at that
very moment. She wondered if all
the other mothers felt their chest
slowly tighten, being compressed
by worry and fear. Her only son,
her little baby, her newest joy--
there was something wrong with
him and she knew it. Myrna, who
also happens to be my mother,
has never been the type of person
to give up easily. My mom is
a warrior. Time and again she's
had to deal with many difficult
battles, specifically raising my
brother, but she’s made it. She’s

come out wounded, but alive.It
was in 2004 when Myrna received
the news that her two
year old son was autistic (Alejo).
Autism is a developmental disorder
that is characterized by social
interaction and communication
deficiencies, and restricted
and repetitive behavior patterns
(Ekas and Whitman 1). It is considered
by many to be the most
severe childhood behavioral disorder
with the most complex developmental
pattern (Altiere and
Von Kluge 1). Doctors, along
with internet findings, bombarded
her with devastating predicaments
of what her future as a
mother raising an autistic child
would hold. She was told that
her and her husband’s relationships
with friends and family
would suffer due to the nature of
their child’s disorder. Their social
life would be restricted in order
to cater their child’s needs. They
even told her that in some cases
parents could eventually be
stuck in a vicious cycle, as the
more severe the symptoms of a
child’s autism, the more stress is
placed on a parent (Glazzard
and Overall 3). Myrna was completely
taken aback with all of
this newly discovered information.
She tried lying to herself
saying that everything would be
okay, but she knew it wouldn’t.
Her son’s life would not be okay
and neither would hers. She felt
like her world was crumbling at
her feet. And all she could think
about out was the hell that her
baby boy would have to go
through (Alejo).

Over the course of the next
few years I saw my family hang
on by a thread. My brother’s diagnosis
did not only change his
life, but changed the lives of the
ones who loved him as well. Every
day was a challenge for my family
that we surely did not embrace.
Going out with my brother
was a dreaded nightmare accompanied
by the intense judgment
of strangers. Whether it
would be to go out to eat or
simply go grocery shopping, we
knew it would be a struggle. Extreme
meltdowns in the middle of
the aisles or loud screams and
sobs at the restaurants along with
dirty looks from others were all we
could ever expect. I could see
my dad’s genuine smile slowly
deteriorate day by day. There
were countless nights where I
heard my mom’s almost silent
sobs through her cracked bedroom
door. My mom, the one
person that always held her head
up high letting nothing stand in
her way, was slowly being consumed.
All the strength I had ever
seen in her was fading away. At
first it seemed like we had lost my
brother, like he would be stuck in
his own little world forever. But
soon I realized that it was my par-

ents who were the ones that
were no longer with me. I had lost
them, my brother and any ounce
of joy that used to fill our home.
Even if Jose was given the best
treatments by experts every single
hour of the day, it would still be difficult.
It would always be difficult
because here was a boy who
would have to depend 100% on
someone else for the rest of his life
(Alejo).
The functioning of a family
with a special needs child is subject
to the biggest change social
and somatic areas (Ślifirczyk et al.
8). Myrna’s life along with the lives
of her husband and children had
changed drastically. But once she
was thoroughly aware of everything
having to do with her son’s
condition she decided to get her
family back to normal and started
getting in action (Alejo). Positive
emotions can act as a buffer to
psychological stress and can help
individuals find positive meaning in
stressful situations (Kayfitz et al. 1).
Myrna took that into consideration
and started seeing her son’s disorder
not as a bad thing, but as
something that would strengthen
and motivate her to become a
better mother. Along with her newly
found positive attitude, Myrna
like many mothers in her position
went to go seek help from professionals.
Every person that she met
along the way was kind and bighearted.
Every single doctor,
speech therapist and teacher
helped Jose ultimately better his
life (Alejo). Not only was professional
help important in coping with Jose’s
disorder, but family support
was a key element as well.
“Support is key, especially family
support. That is number
one” (Alejo).

“Despite the hardships that may
be experienced raising a child
with autism, families survive”
(Altiere and Von Kluge 1).
And indeed my family survived.
Once again I finally saw the
strongest woman I have ever
known turn back into a warrior. “It
may seem overwhelming and
many times it will be, but you cannot
get scared. Yes it is an emotionally
bombarding diagnosis,
but you cannot let it scare
you” (Alejo). The first thing a mother
does when receiving her child’s
diagnosis is look up autism on the
internet. The videos, articles and
images that first appear are of
quite possibly the strongest most
severe cases out there. But in reality
every child with autism, every
single one, is different (Alejo).
There are many parents with autistic
children, but all of their expe-

iences raising their children are
very different from
one another (Glazzard and Overall
1). Every autistic child might
have similar characteristics but
they are all different so there are
many different methods, in which
they can learn, from a very common
method to a very specific
one. With long hours of work every
day, it is very much possible to
give an autistic child the opportunity
to move forward in their
lives (Alejo). With the support of
health professionals, family members
and most importantly a positive
attitude, raising a child with
autism and providing them a
better future is something that
can surely be attained. My family
is living proof that no disease or
disorder is strong enough to
break a family apart. A disorder
like this can pull and tug but will
never be able to destroy something
as strong as a family bond.
It has not been an easy journey
and I highly doubt that my brother
will ever be 100% cured, but
we are fighting through it. We
are fighting for a better life for
him and we are getting there.