Stephanie Bello Stote - The Phoenix Society for Burn Survivors, Inc.

Burn Support News
Summer 2004, Issue 2
Stefanie Bello Stote
Family Support—Key to Recovery
Stefanie Bello Stote was burned to more than 75
percent of her body on January 3, 2001, when a
transformer exploded in an electrical substation that
she and two of her colleagues from the Massachusetts
Electric Company were investigating. Stefanie had
worked for Mass Electric for 13 years and had recently
received a promotion to this new position. She was
Stefanie Bello Stote, shown here with
daughter Alex, after a session with
David Nicholas of DNI Cosmetics, an advanced
reconstructive make-up training center and
photography studio in the Boston area.
excited about the new job and saw it as her chance “to
move up.”
Stefanie remembers the explosion followed by
blinding lights and then pitch-blackness. She was
thrown against the wall and somehow managed to
crawl out of the building. As she emerged from the
building, she realized her body was on fire.
As the ambulances arrived, Stefanie recalls
thinking, “This is a bad dream,” and asking the
paramedic, “Am I going to die?” Although she felt
“petrified,” her thoughts were not for herself, but for
her 9-year-old daughter, Alexandra.
When Stefanie woke up—on what she thought was
the next day—she heard the voices of her family, but
remembered the accident and began asking about her
two colleagues, and friends, who had been in the
explosion with her. But it wasn’t the next day. In fact,
it was the middle of April, more than 3 months after
the explosion.
THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD
When Deena Bello, Stefanie’s oldest sister arrived
at the Massachusetts General Hospital burn center on
the day of the explosion, she remembers seeing the
shocked expressions on her family’s faces and her
parents in tears. Deena wanted to see her sister, but
was terribly afraid. Deena says she may have never had
the courage to enter that hospital room, but then
something happened that gave her the strength.
As Deena was debating her own courage, she saw
Stefanie’s daughter, Alexandra, emerging from the
hospital room. Alex turned to the rest of the family
and said, “I know my mommy is going to be OK.”
Alex, who has been described by her family as “loving,
The Phoenix Society, Inc. • 1835 R W Berends Dr. SW • Grand Rapids, MI 49519-4955 • 800.888.BURN • www.phoenix-society.org

intelligent, and funny,” proved to be a true source of
strength to both the family and to Stefanie during
Stef’s recovery.
At one point, doctors warned the Bello family that
Stef’s right arm might need to be amputated below the
elbow. The family was worried, but was even more
concerned about telling Alex. Upon hearing the news,
Alex replied, “It’s OK. Mommy can hug me with her
other arm.”
THE STRUGGLE TO SURVIVE
Although the doctors were able to save Stef’s arm,
the next few months proved to be extremely trying for
the entire Bello family. Stefanie endured heart failure,
kidney failure, and pneumonia, among other lifethreatening
conditions. The doctors didn’t know if
Stefanie was going to live or die, and they took each
day one at a time.
One of the hardest things for Stef’s family was the
feeling of helplessness. Deena recalls, “You wanted to
reach out and tell Stef that it is OK, don’t be afraid, we
are all here. You wanted to touch her, hold her, cry
with her—and you couldn’t.”
Diane Bello, Stef’s mom, desperately wanted her
daughter to survive, “but,” she says, “I also kept
thinking ahead. What am I going to tell her? And,
what is life going to be like for her?”
By the end of April, Stef had been taken out of the
medically induced coma and was moved from the
“tent” to a private room. Deena remembers, “I felt like
we were ‘together’ again. Touching her didn’t seem so
fragile and talking didn’t seem so distant.”
But, Deena also worried about the future. As Stef’s
older sister, Deena wondered, “How am I going to
protect her from people staring?”
But when one family member would worry, another
one would prove to be a source of strength. Deena recalls
Stef’s younger sister, Pamela, saying, “If anyone can come
out of this accident and still be beautiful, it’s Stefanie.”
Stef’s sister Jaclyn says, “I truly believe that my
family love and devotion to each other is what saved
all of us. We are always there for one another.”
Stef remembers being confused and in a lot of pain
during this time. She also clearly recalls wanting to go
home. But, she couldn’t go home, as she was still in
critical condition. She also hadn’t yet learned the
extent of the accident on her body and her life.
Although Stef was grateful to be alive, she was
saddened to learn the fate of her co-workers and
friends—Bobby had been killed in the explosion and
Mylene was also suffering from severe burns.
Stefanie was also learning the extent of her own
physical injuries. She had been burned on both sides of
her body from the top of her feet to her scalp. Stef felt
incredibly discouraged and wondered if she was ever
going to be able to leave the hospital or do anything for
herself again. But through the love and support of her
family and friends, Stefanie gradually gained confidence.
THE LOVE OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS
The Bellos are an extremely close family and are
active, well-known members of their community,
Malden, Massachusetts, about 20 minutes outside of
Boston. Stefanie, now 37, is the second youngest of
Jack and Diane Bello’s five daughters (Deena, Jaclyn,
Leanne, Stefanie, and Pamela). To keep distant family
members, friends, and community members up-to-date
on Stef’s progress, Deena created a Website on which
she posted weekly progress reports and other resources
for those who wanted to help. The site also had a
guestbook section, where visitors could post messages
to Stef and her family.
Deena, as well as other family members, believe
that “Alex is the reason why Stefanie fought so hard to
beat her odds. You truly must see the two of them
together to appreciate the relationship of mother and
daughter.”
Leanne, Stef’s sister, recalls one of the high points
in Stef’s recovery, “Alex leaned over, and she kissed
her Mom on the forehead. Stefanie smiled like I had
not seen since her accident. She gazed at Alex with
such pride, while a tear rolled down her cheek. I had
to bury my head in my arms so that Stefanie could not
see me. I just couldn’t stop the tears. It was a very
bittersweet moment. It must have been torture for her
to not be able to grab Alex and give her a huge hug.”
Leanne remembers that later that day Alex
announced, “Okay, Mom, it’s therapy time.”
“Alex looked at Stef and began saying the letters of
the alphabet,” recalls Leanne, “Alex would say a letter
and then Stefanie would mouth it back to her. It was
quite a struggle for Stef, but they did the whole alphabet.”
Another high moment came the day Stef was able
to sit up for the first time. “Pam put on a dance tune
with the words ‘I believe in miracles, you sexy thing,’”
Deena remembers. “Well, Stef was bopping her head
and mouthing the words. It was such a great moment!”
THE ROAD HOME
Five months after the accident, Stefanie was
transferred to Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital in
Boston, where she would spend the next 5 months. It
The Phoenix Society, Inc. • 1835 R W Berends Dr. SW • Grand Rapids, MI 49519-4955 • 800.888.BURN • www.phoenix-society.org

was at Spaulding where Stef would again learn to walk,
to feed herself, and to see herself for the first time.
Stefanie’s mom worried about Stef seeing herself for
the first time. Mrs. Bello says, “I didn’t know how to go
about it.” A therapist at Spaulding Rehab suggested
taking a snapshot of Stef and letting her see the photo.
So Mrs. Bello showed Stef a photo of herself, at which
point Stef asked for a mirror. Mrs. Bello recalls, “She
handled it well, but I knew she was upset.” Deena
remembers that moment and says, “Mom came out of
the room and cried.”
Low points at Spaulding were also followed by high
points. While Stefanie was still in a coma at Mass
General, Alex wrote a song for her. Alex sang this song
to her mom for the first time at Spaulding:
We have been together.
You and I together.
Holding hands, you and I.
We have been together.
You and me forever.
Going along, through life.
I’ll be here by your side.
Mommy, I’m always all right.
You’ll always be the same.
You’ll always be the same, to me.
Mommy, I love you so much.
I’ll be here with you always.
I’ll be here by your side.
Mommy, I know that it’s all right.
You’ll always be the same, to me.
The Bello family in 1996.
Stephanie is second row, far left.
The day Stef took her first steps was another
dramatic turning point in Stef’s beginning to regain
her independence. Stef says, “When I took my first
steps, we all cried. When I took my first step, my
daughter held my hand.”
LOOKING AHEAD
On October 15, 2001, after 10 long, painful
months, Stefanie finally returned home. While she
was ecstatic to be home, she knew that many
challenges still lie ahead. Stef says that the biggest
challenge today is “trying to be myself again.”
There are days when Stef gets depressed. “I cry,”
she admits, but then Alex will get home from school
and smile at me.”
Stefanie credits her strength and her recovery to
the love and support of her family and friends. “They
were there every step of the way,” she recalls. “I have
learned that family means everything.”
Stefanie is also grateful for the love and support of
her fiancé, Keith. Stef and Keith were planning to be
married prior to the accident. After the accident, Stef
was concerned that Keith may no longer want to
marry her. “But,” she says, “he was there to sit by my
bed and hold my hand until I fell asleep every night.
He would tell me, ‘Everything’s going to be okay.’”
Today Stefanie and Keith are planning their
wedding, and they are expecting a baby in August.
Stefanie says that she is really excited about the baby,
but also a little nervous because she hopes she can “do
everything for the baby.”
Stefanie knows that her life has been changed by
the accident, but she adds, “I don’t look the same, but
I feel the same. I know I have another whole life ahead
of me.”
SOURCES OF STRENGTH
When Stef’s father first saw Stefanie lying in the
hospital bed, he didn’t think there was anyway she
could survive, and he “prayed she wouldn’t suffer too
much.” Today Mr. Bello says he has “more faith in
God,” and describes Stef as “beautiful, bubbly, and so
full of life.”
Stef’s mom says, “She is an inspiration. There is
nothing she is afraid to do. She is still beautiful
Stefanie. She has sparkly eyes and an unbelievable
smile. I believe in miracles because Stefanie is one of
them.”
Jack and Diane Bello knew their five daughters
were close before Stef’s accident, but have witnessed
the incredible strength and comfort that theirs
The Phoenix Society, Inc. • 1835 R W Berends Dr. SW • Grand Rapids, MI 49519-4955 • 800.888.BURN • www.phoenix-society.org

daughters have given each other through Stef’s
recovery. The Bellos are also grateful for the superior
care Stef received from both the burn team at Mass
General and the therapists at Spaulding Rehab.
The Phoenix Society has also been a source of
support for Stef and her family. At Mass General, the
Bellos were introduced to George Pessotti, a Phoenix
Society board member. Stef’s mother recalls, “We were
so distraught, and he made us feel so comfortable.”
INSPIRING OTHERS
“I would hope that people don’t look at my sister as
a victim,” explains Deena, “but see her as an
inspiration—a beautiful woman who has taught us
through her will to live, how to learn to enjoy and
value life, to take the time to stop and acknowledge all
the good that we have and have done, to simply be
ourselves and not be what others perceive us to be, to
smile and take a deep breath and open our hearts to
life, family, and friends.”
Stefanie and her family are true role models for
other burn survivors and their families.
This story is an excerpt from The Phoenix Society’s Burn Support News, Summer Edition
2004, Issue 2. Burn Support News is a quarterly publication that contains articles on the
emotional, psychological, and social aspects of burn recovery.
The Phoenix Society, Inc. • 1835 R W Berends Dr. SW • Grand Rapids, MI 49519-4955 • 800.888.BURN • www.phoenix-society.org
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