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The Spectrum . Redwood City's Monthly Magazine
Get Off the Guilt Trip and
Get Out the Chocolate:
Redwood City’s Goddess of
Happiness
by Judy Buchan
contributing writer
Suicide bombers notwithstanding, there’s precious little future in being a martyr.
So rather than choose to be miserable and let life overcome you, Redwood City’s
Debbie Gisonni suggests that you choose to be happy. “Happiness is a choice that
anyone can make, anytime, anywhere,” Debbie said. Get real and connect with what
Debbie called your inner power to work through everyday issues.
Easier said than done? The Goddess of Happiness knows otherwise.
At the height of the dot-com revolution in the 1990s, Debbie found herself moving
up the corporate ladder in the world of high-tech magazine publishing as she developed
Internet Week, one of the many publications of that era. “I was a high-power
control freak,” she laughed as she thought back to that time in her life.
But when all seems to be going well is when personal tragedy can take its toll.
Unexpectedly, Debbie lost four members of her family from 1990-1994. In succession,
her mother struggled with the hope and despair of living with a brain tumor
for ten years before passing away; her father died of multiple myeloma; her aunt
died from breast cancer, and her younger sister committed suicide.
“The physical and emotional toll it took on me was deafening,” Debbie recalled.
“And I never really grieved,” she added. Tending to her family’s affairs and managing
her busy career were a recipe for distraction, so she wouldn’t give herself the time to
feel the pain of loss. Gradually she learned
to draw on her own inner strength and
recognized that while she wasn’t in control
of every aspect of her life, she still could
be happy.
By 1998, she realized that “I wanted to do
something that would actually help other
people, particularly women in business. I
knew it was time for women to regain
their power, and I knew I had a story to
tell.”
At the height of her 15-year executive
career (and wisely before the dot-com
bust), Debbie decided “it was a good time
to jump out” of the corporate world. She
started her own media and consulting
company, Real Life Lessons¨, LLC, with a
mission of “inspiring people to be happy
and prosperous through positive changes
life, work, and home.”
Vita’s Will: Real Life Lessons about Life Death & Moving On, was the first chapter in her
story, that came to print in 2000. Dealing head on with the loss of her family members,
Debbie’s book described how her strategies for coping, spirituality, humor
helped her stay sane through the dark times of her life. She included 44 “real life lessons”
as well as “nightly chats with God” to help her readers with their own struggles.
“I went through all the anger,
sadness, and guilt and came
out at the other end,” Debbie
said, noting that a “lighter,
happier version” of herself
emerged.
Debbie became The Goddess
of Happiness, tapping into
the power to be happy no
matter where life led her. That
power to be happy became
the subject of her current
book, The Goddess of Happiness:
A Down-to-Earth Guide for
Heavenly Balance and Bliss. Debbie explained that the book has 44 specific themes,
such as “Let Your Passion Flow,” “Rise Above Fear,” and “Find The Balance.” Each
chapter also includes space for personal journaling and affirmation. Affirmations are
presented for the reader to think about the chapter theme, then “take it, say it, and
feel it.”
Readers can also take the book’s quiz which encourages readers to find “where your
mindset is at this very moment,” and to recognize that happiness should be shared
with others.
To be happier, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being need to be nurtured.
Physical activities can include exercise activities and leisure pursuits such as gardening,
dance, and the like. “Stay away from things that don’t make you feel good,”
Debbie said. Spiritual well-being, she explained, is not presented in a religious context
in the book. Rather, “we need to quiet our mind and connect with our inner self.”
Emotional well-being understands that although there will be dog days in our lives,
we do have the inner power to rise above them.
That’s all well and good, but what about working women and the stress from trying
to balance career and family? “We live by the to-do list,” Debbie responded. “We forget
to play. Try to find something outside of your normal routine; find something
that’s fun for yourself.”
Guilt and self-loathing also play roles in perpetuating unhappiness. People need to
move on and “not live in the past,” Debbie said. “And it’s difficult for people to like
themselves. You can’t give love to others if you don’t like yourself first,” she added.
An important technique, she explained, is to “look in the mirror and find something
you love about yourself.”
When asked what she wanted to share with the people of Redwood City, Debbie
replied, “I really believe that the purposes of our lives here on earth are to enjoy life
and be happy. I figure I have to do one thing to bring joy - spread happiness to other
people. Besides, it’s all energy. Stay in the moment, don’t worry.”
Debbie is a contributing author to If Women Ruled the World, How to Create the World
We Want to Live In. Her “Goddess of Happiness” column appears monthly on
iVillage.com, and her articles have appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle, Simplycity,
Living in Balance, Nonprofit World, among others. She has also been a guest on numerous
radio and TV shows across the country, and has been featured in books and periodicals
including Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul, The San Jose Mercury News, The
Dallas Morning News, and Better Homes & Gardens. Check her web site, www.reallifelessons.com,
for more information.
A former Bronx, New York, resident, Debbie and her husband came to Redwood
City in the early 1990s. She loves the city, and enjoys dining at downtown restaurants.
The two most important passions in her life are her husband and dogs.
Come meet The Goddess of Happiness in Barnes & Noble in San Mateo on June 11
at 3 p.m. Debbie will be there for her book signing “and chocolate, of course!”