40 <strong>TAXI</strong> |3 APRIL 2013 www.ltda.co.uk | @TheLTDA PUZZLER Crossword Competition! To complete our prize crossword and be in with a chance to win £50 send your completed entry to Crossword <strong>290</strong>, Taxi, Taxi House, 11 Woodfield Road, W9 2BA before April 16. First name out of the hat gets the cash. ACROSS 7 Intense fear (6) 8 Ordinary test (1, 5) 9 Blood vessel (4) 10 Suspicion (8) 11 Charm (7) 13 Once more (5) 15 Nimble (5) 16 Commentate on (7) 18 Arresting (8) 19 Untie (4) 21 Show (6) 22 Noon (6) DOWN 1 Dry or withered (4) 2 Calming drug (13) 3 Iron cooking plate (7) 4 Medieval contest (5) 5 Roundabouts (5, 2, 6) 6 Short-sleeved top (3 5) 12 The age of maturity (8) 14 Combat simulation (3, 4) 17 Portion of land (5) 20 To haul by cart (4) [ ] YOU COULD WIN £50! Overheard by Brad Ashton CROSSWORD NO. <strong>290</strong> “It was Abraham Lincoln who said you can’t fool all the people all the time, but our politicians keep trying. Lately Cameron‘s being compared to Blair and I can see the similarity. Blair was Prime Minister for 10 years and with Cameron it already seems that long. Tony Blair got us into so much trouble they now refer to him as the Prime Sinister. I’m told the Lib Dems recently held a membership drive. They drove away 200 members.” “Thanks to the current economic situation my bank balance is so low I have to kneel down to read it. I went to my bank to raise a loan, but all I raised was a laugh. Banks are being forced to cut back on executives’ bonuses. In those circles there’s certainly gloom at the top. But I hear they’ve found a devious way round the problem. Instead of bonuses, the banks are giving their staff advice on tax loopholes. The tax inspector will no doubt be saying what Dr. Watson used to say to Sherlock Holmes, ‘what brilliant deductions!’” “I saw a West End play that was all about sex. It got rave reviews ‘dirty…rotten…filthy.’ That sort of thing‘s accepted these days. The only obscenity the public objected to, was the price to get in.” “My wife calls me her better half because if she wants something, I’d better have it. I can read her like a book. It’s a pity I can’t shut her up like one. I now realise the best years of my life were before I gave her the best years of my life.” “I went past a GP’s house today. I knew it was a GP’s house because the mat outside said ‘WELCOME, BY APPOINTMENT’.” “I’ve just come back from a cruise where the passengers never stopped eating. They swallowed everything but their pride. They say travel broadens the mind. It broadens the hips even more. You have to realise that too many square meals make you round.” “On cruises I never order wine, for two reasons; either I can’t afford it or I can’t pronounce it. They have all sorts of theme cruises now. The best trips though are on the smaller ships where you can dock at the remote, less populated picturesque ports. My last trip stopped at one place that was so small, the town clock was a wristwatch. And the local bank’s only protection was a man at the door with bad breath.” SOLUTION TO CROSSWORD 288 Across: 7 Solemn, 8 Tremor, 9 Spar, 10 Yearning, 11 Old hand, 13 Voice, 15 Stunt, 17 Quietus, 20 Airspace, 21 Curb, 22 Tailor, 23 Uproar. Down: 1 Gospel, 2 Deer, 3 Undying, 4 Atlas, 5 Beanpole, 6 Cognac, 12 Honestly, 14 Humerus, 16 Tribal, 18 Unreal, 19 Macro, 21 Card. Congratulations <strong>Issue</strong> 288 winner Jane Bourne, Isleworth Just for fun Follow @TheLTDA on Twitter for news, updates and warnings Have a go at this medium level Sudoku puzzle. Fill the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.
More readers than the rest put together! 3 APRIL 2013 | <strong>TAXI</strong> 41