Knocklyon News_June 2002.pdf - Source

TWO LITTLE WORDS
Why on earth do so many people find it so hard to
simply say "I'm sorry"? There is no better way for
healing wounds, mending broken friendships,
restoring peace, and, ironically, showing real
strength and winning respect and admiration. And
still we go on failing to appreciate the power of
apologising! Instead we speak of not wanting to
"lose face" or "back down", as if either phrase
encompassed a worthwhile value.
Why, again, are there parents and teachers,
employers and leaders, who continue to view an
apology to a child or to someone in a so-called lesser
position as an indication of weakness, when the
very opposite is the truth? Being at times wrong is
not the preserve of anyone but the experience of
everyone. To all of us, children or adults, people
soar in our esteem when we find them big enough
to say "I'm sorry".
In our differences with one another, and even
when we remain convinced that the fault lies on the
other side, there is still always some element for
which we ought to apologise, be it nothing more
than a show of slight impatience. To be first to
apologise for our failure, however small, will often
free the other person to admit their wrong; and
that is something no pointing of the finger is ever
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Q COVPJUR JRAililiCi ('
likely to elicit. (The relevance of this to recent happenings
in the sphere of international sport is
probably obvious!)
It is supremely liberating for us to know our own
fallibility. In his book, Wellsprings, Tony de Mello
writes:
I think of myself as quite a decent person, goodhearted
and respected, with minor sins and failings,
until it dawns on me that the greatest sinners
are the ones who sin in ignorance.
I see the well-intentioned damage
"love" inflicts on helpless children. . . .
I see the marks of cruelty
In fervently religious people. . . .
I see fair-minded Pharisees
Assess the evidence against Jesus,
And consider it their duty to do away with
him. . . .
It frightens me
That I may be suffering from the sickness
Of the chief priests and Pharisees:
They were so certain of themselves,
So convinced that they were right,
So closed to other viewpoints and to change. . . .
I think of persons whom I know to be like
that. . . .
And then I think of me. . . .
Suddenly it becomes easier to say "I'm sorry"!
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Sheila Prendergast
Managing Director
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www.eden.ie o