Peacemaker Winter 2013 - National Shrine of Saint Rita of Cascia

DIReCToR of CasCIa CenTeR MInIsTRIes fR.JaMes PaRaDIs, o.s.a.
whErE do
wE Go
when liFE Falls
apart?
hoW Do We aCknoWleDGe The
PaIn? hoW Do We beGIn aGaIn?
GriEF, loss aNd st. rita
What are your stories of loss and
separation? The life and witness of
St. Rita has so much to say to those
facing deep pain and the task of
"relearning the world." Having lost
her husband at a young age to
broken relationships and disregard
for human life. For Rita, this was a
searing and disorienting time not
only of anguish and heartache but
a time of great searching and questioning.
How would she carry on with
the burdens of life in front of her?
THE RESTORING love OF God
i thoUGht of
these questions
recently when I
heard a rebroadcast
of an interview conducted by
Terry Gross who hosts the program,
Fresh Air on National Public Radio.
Gross spoke with another NPR
personality, Dr. Dan Gottlieb, a
psychologist who hosts a program
called Voices in the Family. Gottlieb
carries a unique perspective in
helping people cope with life's challenges
from having battled mightily
to face his own deep loss: he's a
quadriplegic. He navigates life and
work from a wheelchair. In the interview,
he described the accident
which left him paralyzed in 1979.
He was cruising along one day on a
Pennsylvania expressway, and without
any warning at all, the entire
wheel of a big truck came loose,
struck his car, and within seconds
his life was forever changed. All he
remembers from that horrific accident
is that a "big, black thing"
came hurling at him.
How do we cope with traumatic
loss—the "big things" that come
hurling at us in life? It is one thing
to suffer the pain of an expected
loss, such as the death of a loved
one or close friend at old age or
following a long illness. These are
difficult enough to endure. But then
there are the life-changing losses—
events that knock us completely
down and render us powerless.
These put us on the difficult journey
that grief specialist and author
Thomas Attig calls "relearning the
world." For example, I think of the
crisis that may come from sudden
illness, a relational cutoff or betrayal,
or the loss of one's job or status in
life. I think of parents I've prayed
with who have faced the death of a
child or who have lost a son or
daughter to suicide and who are at
pains to understand why. I think of
the shattered souls I've sat with
who lost years of joy,innocence and
trust in life following childhood sexual
abuse. These are the wounds of
soul that stay with us for a lifetime,
shaping our lives and relationships.
AND THE church community
murder in a vendetta, she knew
the depths of emptiness and
inconsolable grief. She bore her
suffering, not only as a wife robbed
of her spouse, but as a mother of
two sons who lost their father and
in bitterness and fury, wanted to
take revenge. She knew firsthand
the challenge of holding a family
together in the midst of violence,
Traumatic loss can so easily overwhelm
and paralyze all our abilities
for living in trust and safety. Still,
despite overwhelming obstacles,
Rita knew a deeper voice in life
to which she turned in faith, and
in which she knew she was held:
the restoring love of God and the
church community. It is here,
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