May - the Free Presbyterian church of Scotland

. The Free Presbyterian MaKazine.
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that, I may show her that one thing needful to know Thee-how
Thou needest to be known unto salvation.': 'For I thought, "I •
know this is the one thing needful, as the Uoly Spirit declares it
.in that way-' This is life eternal, that they might know thee, the
only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.'"
And this,. my dear friends, it has pleased the Lord to teach a
little experimentally to me, the most wretched, yea, the blindest,
having' tarried so long in so many ways and by-paths, thinking so
often that I was right. There were several benefits of the Lord
toward me, at the administering of which I was deeply humbled
in the dust. Being perished in soul under the judgment of God,
on account of original and actual sin, the Mediator was revealed
in acquittal of my conscience; the peace of God came down, and
love, joy, and peace entered .my soul. A year afterwards Jesus
was revealed and qeclared to me, with a whole twining-out and
excluding of me·-poor, foolish creature-as given from the
Father for wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption.
About three years afterwards I was led into the decree of God in
the never-begun eternity, and was taken up into it and established
with these words: "I am God, even thy God, for ever and ever;
I will be your guide even unto death "--a blessed state of my
souL But, my dear friends, as long as I (self) was out of it, God
was in it; but when that dear Being withdrew a little, I (self)
came into it. I did not look at God, but at the benefits; I
became toe man (proud) before I knew it. I praised the Lord,
but getting nearer light, I saw that my own glory was sitting on
the throne. I grew on the benefits. I was a goud, converted
man. I knew very well-being led back by His gtace to the
forgiveness of my sins-how I had been called; the way the
Mediator had been revealed to me; how I, at the end of the law,
'had put my hand to (signed) my sentence of death, and was
perished under .God's judgment, not only in consent but actually
(in experience); and so on, as I have written you a little here
before. But oh, oh, my dear friends, how I was quite struck with
it when all this turned to my guilt-that I had forsaken the Lord
and had become the man (proud) by it, and had sought and had
my foundation and life in it. What was first brought home to me
was the absence of God (my missing God); then the cause-I had
forsaken the fountain of living waters; and there I lay down
before God in my want, being myself the cause. The Holy
Spirit clears up my way from .Shittim unto Gilgal, and, behold,
. there 1. thought to be saved and to get again into the benefits;
but see, my friends, the Lord takes away (hides) the benefits, as
if I had never enjoyed them. There, there my cry went up; I
missed God; it was my own guilt; I was pained at my very
heart. I cried unto God, "I cannot get through it; heip me, I
. perish." . And there, my dear friends, God reveals again the Lord
Jesus with these -words, " Behold, it is I; behold, it is -I." I am
taken up out of my guilt andplacedbefore the Father; the Father