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Sleep-out raises awareness - Indiana University Southeast

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Week of April 20, 2009 Diversions The Horizon • Page 7<br />

Comments?<br />

Send them to<br />

horizon@ius.edu<br />

Time-Wasting Web Sites<br />

HTTP://HOMEPAGES.IUS.EDU/HORIZON/TWWS.HTML<br />

• http://www.oddee.com/item_96627.aspx<br />

• http://lab.andre-michelle.com/swf/fl10/ToneMatrix.swf<br />

• http://listverse.com/<br />

• http://www.iheartchaos.com/<br />

• http://repairpal.com/<br />

• http://rightwingnews.com/mt331/2009/04/50_things_every_18yearold_shou.php<br />

• http://www.mikeadair.com/David%27sNewSnail.swf<br />

• http://sovietrussia.org/f/src/tetoris.swf<br />

• http://balldroppings.com/js/<br />

• http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/04/hot_girls_have_lightsaber_strip-fight_for_your.php<br />

By Scott Gillespie / tsgilles@ius.edu<br />

By SAMANTHA WEAVER<br />

(c) 2009 King Features Synd.,<br />

Inc.<br />

• It was humorist and commentator<br />

Andy Rooney (of<br />

“60 Minutes” fame) who<br />

made the following sage observation:<br />

“Making duplicate<br />

copies and computer print<strong>out</strong>s<br />

of things no one wanted<br />

even one of in the first place<br />

is giving America a new<br />

sense of purpose.”<br />

• The next time you find<br />

yourself picking up a complimentary<br />

toothpick on<br />

your way <strong>out</strong> of a restaurant,<br />

you might want to consider<br />

this fact: More Americans<br />

choke on toothpicks than on<br />

any other item.<br />

• At one time in Corpus<br />

Christi, Texas, city leaders<br />

saw fit to make it illegal for<br />

an individual to raise alligators<br />

in his or her home.<br />

• If you’re a man, you might<br />

be surprised to learn that in<br />

a survey that was conducted<br />

recently, more than 40 percent<br />

of women in the United<br />

States admitted that they<br />

would wear a stylish shoe<br />

even if it were uncomfortable.<br />

If you’re a woman, you<br />

might be surprised that the<br />

figure was only 40 percent.<br />

• Resources are very scarce<br />

in space, so it’s important to<br />

conserve wherever possible.<br />

The astronauts on the International<br />

Space Station might<br />

be going a bit far, however;<br />

it’s been reported that they<br />

change their underwear only<br />

every three or four days in<br />

order to cut down on laundry.<br />

• Those who study such<br />

things say that the average<br />

grocery store today carries<br />

approximately 30,000 different<br />

items — that’s more than<br />

twice as many items as those<br />

stores carried 20 years ago.<br />

• A couple of years ago,<br />

Mariah Carey — the American<br />

singer, songwriter,<br />

actress and, not incidentally,<br />

pitch woman for Gillette’s<br />

“Legs of a Goddess” ad campaign<br />

— insured her legs for<br />

$1 billion.<br />

•—•<br />

Thought for the Day: “Writing<br />

is the only profession<br />

where no one considers you<br />

ridiculous if you earn no<br />

money.” — Jules Renard<br />

Completely Made-Up<br />

Horoscopes<br />

ARIES (March 21 to April<br />

19) I believe I have seen this<br />

before. It is called a case of<br />

extreme boredom with a side<br />

of slaw.<br />

TAURUS (April 20 to<br />

May 20) Because of Saturn<br />

rising in Taurus, you will<br />

be stuck in a loop of neverending<br />

nothingness — like<br />

last Tuesday.<br />

GEMINI (May 21 to June<br />

20) I have seen the future,<br />

and it smells like ketchup.<br />

Yummy!<br />

CANCER (June 21 to July<br />

22) Sometimes it is best not<br />

to understand or even try.<br />

This is called “saving your<br />

sanity.”<br />

LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22)<br />

It’s OK to be weird if those<br />

around you are weird in the<br />

exact same way. That way,<br />

it’s not so weird, is it?<br />

VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept.<br />

22) A bunch of posters,<br />

even large ones, with the<br />

university’s “core values”<br />

and “mission statement” on<br />

them, will not necessarily<br />

assure reaccreditation. Do<br />

what other universities do:<br />

paint the halls and bribe the<br />

evaluators.<br />

LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct.<br />

22) Relax. The economy is<br />

fine. The Wal-Mart parking<br />

lot is still full. People still<br />

drive their SUVs too fast. The<br />

line around McDonald’s is<br />

still around McDonald’s. Be<br />

at peace.<br />

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to<br />

Nov. 21) When it’s late at<br />

night and you are feeling, er,<br />

“lonely,” you think of me,<br />

don’t you? I knew it.<br />

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22<br />

to Dec. 21) As an IUS student,<br />

you are not allowed to<br />

say, “Peace <strong>out</strong>, yo!” Evar.<br />

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22<br />

to Jan. 19) OK, I’m sick of<br />

having a ham sandwich<br />

every day from the IUS Food<br />

Court. Can’t you make graband-go<br />

sandwiches with<br />

some other type of meat?<br />

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to<br />

Feb. 18) Nature isn’t our<br />

mother, it’s our sister — a<br />

mean, selfish, hateful sister.<br />

PISCES (Feb. 19 to March<br />

20) You don’t see many<br />

“Baby On Board” signs<br />

anymore. You do see a lot of<br />

“Baby On Roof Rack” signs,<br />

though.<br />

Crossword<br />

Answers<br />

Recycle Me!<br />

In 2000, not a single hurricane made landfall in the United States.

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