Journey - Congregation of the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate ...

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Journey
Fall 2012
Brave as a Bear
by Bernadette Snyder
The name Bernadette
means “brave as a bear.”
I remember learning that
as a child and wondering why
I couldn’t have been named
something cooler. What would
I ever need to know of bravery?
No courage required for my
routine life in suburbia. And
to top it off, no one called me
Bernadette—it was always Berny,
a name that can easily go for
either gender. Fitting, I suppose,
since my parents were expecting a
boy when they got me. God had
different plans for my life, plans
in which I would indeed live up to
my name.
I never felt the desire to be
married or have children. I fell
in love with Jesus on a retreat in
eighth grade and wanted to give
him all of me. I looked for him in
everyone—and found him—and
decided I could not pick just one
man through whom to love and
serve Christ. I thought for a while
this meant I would become a nun.
However, each religious order
has its own charism, or ministry,
and none of them seemed to click
with who I was. At eighteen, I
figured I had no option aside from
marriage. A consecrated single
life never crossed my mind, and
why should it? I knew of no one
who lived that way. And I was
too much of a people person to
imagine I’d choose to live alone.
Later that year I met a woman
who belonged to the Order of
Consecrated Virgins: women who
live in the world but dedicate the
time they would have spent with a
husband and children to ministry,
prayer, and outreach instead.
There is no rule of life, except that
which the consecrated virgin (CV)
writes for herself. She is free to
work where she wants, serve how
she wants, and all the while be
married to the big JC himself. I
finally found my vocation.
Since I was madly in love with
Jesus, I couldn’t understand when
people told me the lifestyle I was
choosing would require courage. I
was so happy and I didn’t have to
worry about
anything—my
husband
would take
care of
me. He has
courage,
anyway, so
why would
I need any?
I’m not sure
if every
young brideto-be
is that
naïve about
marriage,
though I like
to believe they
are. I look at
my parents
after fortytwo
years
of marriage
and wonder
if anyone
warned them
it would take
courage to live
every day for
someone else.
Yet, they have
weathered the
storm thus
far, giving
me hope and
faith that my
own marriage
will still be
flourishing
when my hair turns gray.
My first hint that courage was
needed came nine years later
as the date for my consecration
ceremony drew near. Consecrated
Virginity is a sacramental rite in
the Catholic Church that requires
a bishop to receive the woman’s
promises to “persevere to the end
of [her] days in the holy state of
virginity and in the service of God
and His Church.” As I work in
the central administrative offices
of my diocese, word spread
about what I was doing. I was
the first CV in my diocese; most
people had never even heard of
the vocation. The editor of the
diocesan newspaper wanted to run
a story on
my vocation,
and while
I was not
thrilled with
the prospect
of putting
myself out
there, I was
excited to
give the
sacramental
some
publicity.
I wanted
other girls to
know they
have this
vocational
option. The
local paper
caught wind
of it and
wanted to
run its own
story, as did
several other
papers in
Virginia. A
few of my
friends sent
me online
links to these
and other
articles.
There were
plenty of
comments
from readers,
many critical and condemning.
My sister told me to ignore them.
She said, “Those anonymous
people are cowards. They write
nasty comments because they
cannot be traced back to them.”
I was not a coward. My name
was out there for everyone to see,
bearing witness to my convictions.
I was the brave one.
Courage is an interesting
notion. Many people believe
courage is something reserved
for battle or for a dangerous or
devastating situation. I used to
think this way. However, I have
realized over more than the past
four years of consecrated life that
courage is more the whisper in
I have realized over more
than the past four years
of consecrated life that
courage is more the
whisper in the wind than
the mighty thunder clap.
My vocation fills me with
a peace that surpasses
all expression.
the wind than the mighty thunder
clap. My vocation fills me
with a peace that surpasses all
expression. I often say if women
could feel for even a moment the
joy in my heart because of my
marriage to Christ, I would not
be the only CV in the Richmond
Diocese. Yet there are times, as
in any marriage, when remaining
faithful takes great effort. Certain
things I have seen or experienced,
ways in which life has not played
out the way I expected or hoped:
these have challenged both my
faith in the Catholic Church and
in my husband’s love and justice.
I have felt tremendous guilt over
my struggles to accept that my
husband does not always act in the
ways I want him to. Who am I to
question God? What kind of CV
am I to question the Church? I
am a courageous one. I am taking
to heart my husband’s directive
to “ask, and the door will be
opened.” I am trusting the Church
to be as full of contradiction and
mystery as I am—me, who by
nature of my vocation symbolize
the Church.
So what’s in a name? Maybe
nothing. Bernadette was the one
name my parents could agree
on when they were surprised I
wasn’t going to be Daniel. Maybe
I would be the same if I had
been named Danielle or Jenny or
Charlotte. Maybe.
Ed. Note: The Order of Virgins
is a form of consecrated life.
Through their pledge to follow
Christ more closely, virgins are
consecrated to God, mystically
espoused to Christ and dedicated
to the service of the church when
the diocesan Bishop consecrates
them according to the approved
liturgical rite.
Code of Canon Law, Canon 604
Bernadette is a research analyst
for the Catholic Diocese of
Richmond and a graduate student
in the Pastoral Counseling
program at Loyola University
Maryland.