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■ Barely BreathinG
By Brent Swager, RRT
Late To Work
Excuse No. 641
EAST NORTH CENTRAL
New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Illinois
University of Cincinnati
College of Allied Health Sciences
Department of Analytical & Diagnostic Sciences
Position Announcement
my friend, is the last thing
you want to hear when
you’ve got a load of
Pavulon® on board.
Career Opportunities
“He eventually got
1 Middle Atlantic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p. 23
a No. 8 in me. Then
2 East North Central . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p. 23
came the dreaded
Director, Respiratory Care Program
“Your shift started 3 West North 22 Central minutes . . . . . ago,” . . . . . . . . . consequently, . . . . p. 24 I
blood gas. Since I was
Danny barked when 4 West I burst South into Central. the . . respiratory
department. “Where 5 Mountain have . . . . you . . . . . been” . . . . . . . . . . . . little . . . . p. trouble 24
out (except no one
. . . . . . . . . . . was . . . . p. having 24 a Position: One full-time, 12-month Director (Clinical Track). This is supposedly a three-year position knocked that is availa
starting July 1, 2011 and is renewable based on available funding and performance.
Qualifications: Master’s degree in Respiratory Care or related Allied Health field (doctorate is ideal
“You aren’t going to believe this,” I said, “but getting my not required). Holds current RRT credential by the NBRC with minimum thought of 5 years of related an experien
last night I awoke to a light shining in my eyes. breath.
maintains current license or is eligible for a license by the Ohio Respiratory opiate to Care go Board. along Preference
be given to applicants with a minimum of 3 years RT teaching experience including online, and evide
It was like someone throwing MIDDLE on ATLANTIC an overhead “And there, of educational leadership, program management and on-line learning with the in the muscle field. relaxer)
1,000,000-watt light bulb while forgetting that standing over me, Responsibilities: was a
wouldn’t it be a good time
the person directly under said light has just shiny new therapist • Curriculum saying, development (including semester to let conversion) a student try their hand at an ABG
• Faculty hiring and oversight (including faculty workload assignments)
gotten off a grueling
12-hour night shift and ‘Let me tube him. I’ll • Budget tube him oversight if you and fiscal management Now I know I’ve had my share of misses over
is a nanosecond away
from drooling-on-thepillow,
coma-like sleep.
• Teach online courses in Respiratory Care (3-4 cr hours/term)
want me to. I think • we Design should and tube implementation him. I’ve of policies the years, that support but I swear academic that kid excellence hit my radial nerve
got a No. 8 all ready to go. Want me to tube a dozen times before he gave up and started
• Develop courses for on-line program
“Anyway, fingers
had pried my eyes open him’
• Serve on Department, College, and poking University around committees the antecubital area. With his
wide enough to shine
• Student advising; adjudicate student issues as necessary
a laser beam back and “I thought of all the times I’d said those very perfect record of nerve damage he had the gall
• Research/scholarship activities are encouraged
forth, torturing my
pupils as I struggled to words and all the patients • Participate who must in professional have been organizations to say, (AARC) ‘He’s a really tough stick. His arteries
awaken. ‘I must be dreaming,’ I thought to laying there as helpless • Liaison as I was. with I enrollment was relieved partner (Embanet roll.’ Compass Knowledge)
myself, ‘or nightmaring. I think I’ll go splash to hear the physician Application: suggest knocking Applications me out. will be accepted “I’ll have until you the know, position my is filled. arteries Applicants do not roll; should apply
www.jobsatuc.com (search for position: #211UC0621) and attach a letter of application, offi
some water in my face.’
I felt a needle find transcripts, its way into vitae, my and arm. names It was of three I’ve references. stuck Requests them myself for further … once, information respiratory about the position m
“It was one of those dreams that was so strong an unfortunate effect be directed of the to drug Dr. Terri that Premo I was at terri.premo@uc.edu.
school. (Don’t look at me that way!)
that I was rendered helpless. When
I tried to unable to make my The lips University work, or of I’d Cincinnati have given (UC) is an affirmative “Then they action/equal hooked opportunity me up to employer. a vent, rolled Women, minori
sit up, nothing happened! I took a
disabled persons, Vietnam era and disabled veterans are encouraged to apply.
quick inventory
and realized I was cold and flat on my morphine with pancuronium bromide. alone, water bubbling in my vent tubing until
the whole crowd the lecture on why you give me into a room, and there I sat neglected and
back. In fact, I never
sleep on my back and “And then the intubation. UPGRADE Note YOUR to self: WORK I realized, ‘I’ve got LOYOLA to get to work!’ I yanked
Although front teeth appear strong enough my tube — and yes, I always deflate the bulb
GEAR THIS SEASON!
to use as a lever for the laryngoscope, looks before self or any other RESPIRATORY extubation — and made CAR
■ Off The Cuff can be deceiving. The FIND sound THE LATEST of teeth TRENDS cracking
from the inside of ADVANCE your head HEALTHCARE is almost as SHOP“That has to be the worst excuse for being
AT my THE way down the stairs PRACTITIONER to work.” III
By Dave Riddle, RRT, CPFT
Loyola University Health System, located
disturbing as hearing Scrubs the l Lab person Coats l Shoes doing l Medical this Equipment late I’ve ever heard,”
miles
Danny
west
said
of Chicago,
dryly.
is seeking a full-t
deed humming something from the Neil “How about this then” Respiratory I suggested. Care Practitioner “I woke for a pm/
evening shift opportunity (3pm – 11:30p
www.capitalhealth.org, Job ID Diamond #1548. catalog. And he’s wearing some 70s up to find myself standing Under the outside general The supervision Pearly of the Ma
cologne — Hai Karate or Brut maybe — Gates …” ager of Respiratory Care, the Respiratory
Care Practitioner will provide intensive an
which is really not what advancehealthcareshop.com
you want wafting “You used that general one last respiratory month,” care Danny services to neon
down into your gasping aveoli.
said.
pediatric, adolescent, adult, and geriatric
patients upon receiving written prescript
“I could feel him punching around my vocal “I overslept” I whimpered.
from a physician. The selected candidate
chords, trying to
Don’t
find his way
Miss
in. I would
an
have
Issue“That’s more like will it,” also Danny function said. as an “Now adult get team leader
within the structure of the department’s
yanked the thing ADVANCE out of his is hand free and to qualified done it recipients, to work." n clinical ladder.
myself, except I heard but you him must mutter, subscribe ‘Dang, in the order to
Springhill Medical Group has a position open
Requirements include current/valid State
for a respiratory therapist to perform blasted Pulmonary
Function studies in our Pittsburg, CA office 3 to
ferred), 1-2 yrs. exp. (3-5 yrs. preferred), C
light went receive out on this it. And thing.’ current And subscribers that, Brent must Swager is a practitioner IL license, in Associates St. Petersburg, degree Fla. (Bachelors
renew annually to continue getting the
4 days month. $55 per hour, non benefited position.
and CPR certification. ACLS and/or PALS
and RRT certifications are preferred.
Flexible week days - hours 8:30am to 5pm. Must have magazine. To subscribe or renew, go to
prior experience performing PFTs. Send e-mail to
www.advanceweb.com/respiratory TAKE A BREAK or call
Deeann at: delriod@springhillmed.com
APPLY ONLINE:
Pause from the stresses of your work day and have some fun. Treat yourself
(800) 355-1088.
www.LoyolaMedicine.org/jo
to our special collection of themed crossword puzzles, cartoons, humor columns,
and more. Visit http://respiratory-care-sleep-medicine.advanceweb
Click: “ Staff Positions”
.com/Web-Extras/Online-Extras/Take-a-Break.aspx. Select: “ Clin/Allied Health/Research” cat
Visit www.advanceweb.com/respiratory for a
View: “ Respiratory Care Practitioner III”
free Off the Cuff e-book.
position
26 ADVANCE for Healthcare Careers
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Scott Derby