Suspense Magazine November 2012

medium height, with closely cropped brownish-red hair.
He was something of a dandy, preferring Ralph Lauren
and Hilfiger items right down to his socks. He had a passion
for hats. His one great feature was his piercing blue eyes,
made even brighter, at times by contacts of a brighter blue.
Sometimes he wore a goatee, which gave him a bit of pirate
look.
In a university of up and coming young professors, you
could have turned a building on its side, and seen four or five
men that looked just like Ian, or at least similar. The difference
was that Ian had a charisma that drew women like flies, and
made men all desire to be his friend. He had a charm and
gracefulness that seemed to highlight his every move. He
seemed to have no enemies, even in what could be a cutthroat
university political arena. He got brilliant evaluations,
and within two years of his graduation, had published his
first book, about the origin of English fables and poems.
Rhonda, who dreamed of someday becoming a writer,
and who had a passion for the English culture, had never been
in love before. She was a shy, somewhat socially awkward
young woman. She’d been awed by the love and commitment
her parents had, and secretly believed that she would never
be able to duplicate it. She was also a devout Catholic,
graduated of a strict, all-girls school, and at nineteen, when
she met Ian, was a virgin, determined to remain that way
until she married.
Her sorority sisters made fun of her desire to remain
virtuous and called her “Saint Rhonda.” Ian, once they began
dating, tried seducing her, using everything that worked with
countless other women. Rhonda firmly resisted him.
Ian then tried pouting, dating other women, doing things
that he was sure would made Rhonda fear that she lost him.
Yet, she was made of stronger stuff, and Ian soon saw that
no matter his attempts to manipulate her into bed, it would
not happen without a wedding ring. He had to grudgingly
admire her faith, and her commitment to it, although he did
not in any way share it.
In Rhonda’s senior year of college, Ian asked her to marry
him. Rhonda accepted. Soon after their wedding, right after
she graduated, they found out that she was pregnant. Within
two months however, she miscarried. She grieved her loss,
and started working on a graduate degree in education.
Ian didn’t like the time that her courses took away from
him, and complained bitterly. He wanted her to be available
to travel with him, be his hostess at parties, to go to all the
university events that would further advance his career. He
had somewhat of an overbearing personality, that tended to
dominate Rhonda’s somewhat timid one, and within a few
semesters, she dropped out of graduate school. It was easier
to do what he wanted, than to deal with his anger when she
didn’t.
Three years into their marriage, she’d gotten pregnant
again. Ian was thrilled. He saw all of his peers with growing
families, and often complained bitterly about not having
children. During the pregnancy, gestational diabetes was
diagnosed. The last four months of the pregnancy, Rhonda
was confined to strict bed rest.
During this time, although Ian was unhappy about
her not being able to attend activities with him, he seemed
supportive, and most times, loving. If something seemed
missing in the way that he treated her, Rhonda didn’t often
let herself think of it. They had a wonderful house in a great
neighborhood, and they were going to have a baby. Things
would surely get better once their child was born.
Jason was born a few weeks early, weak, and sickly. At
first, he was not expected to survive. However, by prayer and
by miracle, he not only overcame his early issues, but became
a healthy and thriving young boy by the time he reached
toddler years.
The gestational diabetes turned to an ongoing problem
for Rhonda. She was put on insulin, and Ian learned along
with her to monitor her blood sugars, eat healthier, and
administer insulin.
It was just after Jason was a year old that Rhonda noted
anything unusual. At first there were hang-up calls. It was
always in the evenings when Ian was home, and Rhonda got
to the phone first. Then, she thought she smelled perfume
on his shirts when she was laundering them. She told herself
she was imagining things. Ian was perfectly happy. They were
the family he wanted: picture postcard perfect, photogenic,
happy, smiling. People envied them their life. Why would he
be dissatisfied
Then she found him with a freshman, Stacey Elliott, in
his office. She opened the door without knocking, and saw
them, clothing disheveled, in an embrace. She turned and
walked the three blocks home, her heart full of an icy feeling,
feeling as if someone had punched her in the stomach.
Before Ian had time to get home, she packed up Jason
and herself and was heading in her station wagon, to
Pennsylvania.
She and Jason stayed with her parents for nearly a year.
Her father fixed up a storage room over their garage into an
apartment for the two of them, to give them privacy. Rhonda
found a job as a secretary, and considered what to do next.
For the first few months, she ignored Ian’s phone calls, and
refused to read his letters or emails.
Finally, she agreed to meet him for a meal. Ian was deeply
repentant, or so it seemed. He told her that the relationship
had been a one-time thing, and that he would never do it
again. He told her he loved her and Jason. He begged them
to come home. His passion impressed her, and Rhonda—
thinking of her parents’ many decades of marriage—relented.
She returned home.
In the years to come, the promise not to stray was broken
so many times that Rhonda lost count. Gradually, she lost
love and respect for her husband, but she didn’t know what
62 Suspense Magazine November 2012 / Vol. 040