A Passover Song Tune ("These are a few of my favourite ... - Pelorous

There's No Seder Like our Seder Tune - "There's no business like show business"
There's no Seder like our Seder,
There's no Seder I know.
Everything about it is halachic
Nothing that the Torah won't allow.
Listen how we read the whole Haggadah
It's all in Hebrew
'Cause we know how.
There's no Seder like our Seder,
We tell a tale that is swell:
Moses took the people out into the heat
They baked the matzoh
While on their feet
Now isn't that a story
That just can't be beat
Let's go on with the show!
A Passover Song Tune ("These are a few of my favourite things")
Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes
Out with the hametz, no pasta, no knishes
Fish that's gefillted, horseradish that stings
These are a few of our Passover things.
Matzoh and karpas and chopped up haroses
Shank bones and Kiddish and Yiddish neuroses
Tante who kvetches and uncle who sings
These are a few of our Passover things.
Motzi and maror and trouble with Pharoahs
Famines and locusts and slaves with wheelbarrows
Matzoh balls floating and eggshell that cling
These are a few of our Passover things.
When the plagues strike
When the lice bite
When we're feeling sad
We simply remember our Passover things
And then we don't feel so bad.
Pesach is coming [to the tune of Yom Zeh L’yisroel]
Mummy mummy mummy , Pesach is coming
What shall we do for such a holiday
We'll clean our room, And throw all the chametz away
In honour of the holiday, In honour of the holiday
1
Page 1

Mah Nishtanah la Dr.
Seuss
Why is it only
on Passover night
we never know how
to do anything right
We don't eat our meals
in the regular ways,
the ways that we do
on all other days.
1.Cos on all other nights
we may eat
all kinds of wonderful
good bready treats,
like big purple pizza
that tastes like a pickle,
crumbly crackers
and pink pumpernickel,
sassafras sandwich
and tiger on rye,
fifty felafels in pita,
fresh-fried,
with peanut-butter
and tangerine sauce
spread onto each side
up-and-down, then across,
and toasted whole-wheat
bread
with liver and ducks,
and crumpets and
dumplings,
and bagels and lox,
and doughnuts with one
hole
and doughnuts with four,
and cake with six layers
and windows and doors.
Yes--
on all other nights
we eat all kinds of bread,
but tonight of all nights
we munch matzah instead.
2.And on all other nights
we devour
vegetables, green things,
and bushes and flowers,
lettuce that's leafy
and candy-striped spinach,
fresh silly celery
(Have more when you're
finished!)
cabbage that's flown
from the jungles of Glome
by a polka-dot bird
who can't find his way
home,
daisies and roses
and inside-out grass
and artichoke hearts
that are simply first class!
Sixty asparagus tips
served in glasses
with anchovy sauce
and some sticky molasses--
But on Passover night
you would never consider
eating an herb
that wasn't all bitter.
3. And on all other nights
you would probably flip
if anyone asked you
how often you dip.
On some days I only dip
one Bup-Bup egg
in a teaspoon of vinegar
mixed with nutmeg,
but sometimes we take
more than ten thousand
tails
of the Yakkity-birds
that are hunted in Wales,
and dip them in vats
full of Mumbegum juice.
Then we feed them to
Harold,
our six-legged moose.
Or we don't dip at all!
We don't ask your advice.
So why on this night
do we have to dip twice
4.And on all other nights
we can sit as we please,
on our heads, on our
elbows,
our backs or our knees,
or hang by our toes
from the tail of a Glump,
or on top of a camel
with one or two humps,
with our foot on the table,
our nose on the floor,
with one ear in the window
and one out the door,
doing somersaults
over the greasy k'nishes
or dancing a jig
without breaking the
dishes.
Yes--
on all other nights
you sit nicely when
dining--
So why on this night
must it all be reclining
Page 2 of 12

Ha Lach Ma Anya
The leader asks questions in Hebrew and the child responds:
Leader: Me-ayin bat(a) (From where have you come)
Child: Me-mitzrayim! (From Egypt)
Leader: L’an at(a) holech(et) (Where are you going)
Child: L’yrushalayim! (To Jerusalem!)
Leader: Tseda laderech yesh (Do you have provisions for the journey)
Child: Ken, al gabi! (Yes, on my back!)
At this point the child marches around the table while everyone joins in singing Halachma!
YIDDISH FOUR QUESTIONS
Tateh (or zayde), ikh vill dir fregen die vier kashes.
Der Ershte kashe ikh vill dir fregen:
Far vus is der nakht von Pesakh andisht von alle nakht von
a ganze yahr Far vus alle nakht von a ganze yahr as mir
villen, essen mir khometz, und as mir villen, essen mir
matzoh, aber der nakht von Pesakh essen mir nur matzoh
Aber kein khometz turen mir nisht essen. Hab ikh dir
gefregt ein kashe.
Der zweite kashe ikh vill dir fregen:
Far vus alle nakht von a ganze yahr as mir villen essen mir
bissere grinsen, und as mir villen essen mir zisser
grinsen Aber der nakht von Pesakh essen mir nur bissere
grinsen. Hab ikh dir gefregt zwei kashes.
Der dritte kashe ikh vill dir fregen:
Far vus alle nakht von a ganze yahr tinken mir ein mul
ekhnit eyn Aber der nakht von Pesakh tinken mir eyn zwei
mul Ein mul tsibele in zalz vasser, und der zweite mul
khrain and kharoset. Hab ikh dir gefregt drei kashes.
Der vierte kashe ikh vill dir fregen:
Far vus alle nakht von a ganze yahr as mir willen essen mir
ziztendik, und as mir willen essen mir ungeshpart Aber
der nakht von Pesakh essen mir alle ungeshpart
Yetzt hab ikh dir gefregt alle vier kashes. Heint entfir
mir ein tiretz von alle vier kashes.
Page 3 of 12

The Four Sons
Tune – “Oh, my darling Clementine”
1. Said the father to his children
At the Seder you will dine
You will eat your fill of matzo
You will drink four cups of wine
2. Now this father had no daughters
But his sons, they numbered four,
One was wise and one was wicked
One was simple and a bore.
3. And the fourth one was sweet and
winsome
He was young and he was small.
Whilst his brothers asked the questions,
He could scarcely speak at all.
4. Said the wise son to his father,
“Would you please explain the laws
All the customs of the Seder
Will you please explain their cause.”
5. And the father proudly answered
As our fathers ate in speed
At the Paschal Lamb ‘ere midnight
And from slavery they were freed.
6. So we follow their example
And ‘ere midnight must complete
All the sederand we should not
After twelve remain to eat
7. Then did sneer, the son so wicked
“What does all this mean to YOU”
And father's voice grew bitter
And his grief and anger grew.
8. If yourself you don't consider,
As a son of Yisrael,
Then for you this has no meaning
You could be a slave as well.
9. Then the simple son said simply
“What is this” and quietly
The good father told this child
“We were freed from slavery.”
10. But the youngest son was silent
For he could not ask at all.
His bright eyes were big with wonder
As his father told him all.
11. Now dear children heed this lesson
And remember evermore
What the father told his children
told his sons that numbered four.
Page 4 of 12

Those Canaan Days
Do you remember the good years in Canaan
The summers were endlessly gold
The fields were a patchwork of clover
The winters were never too cold
We'd stroll down the boulevards together
And everything round us was fine
Now the fields are dead and bare
No joie de vivre anywhere
Et maintenant we drink a bitter wine
Those Canaan days we used to know
Where have they gone, where did they go
Eh bien, raise your berets
To those Canaan days
Do you remember those wonderful parties
The splendour of Canaan's cuisine
Our extravagant, elegant soirees
The gayest the Bible has seen
It's funny but since we lost Joseph
We've gone to the other extreme
No-one comes to dinner now
Let My People Go (Go Down Moses)
When Israel was in Egypt's land,
Let my people go!
Oppressed so hard they could not stand,
Let my people go!
Go down Moses, way down in Egypt's land;
Tell old Pharaoh, "Let my people go!"
"Thus saith the Lord," bold Moses said,
"Let my people go!
If not, I'll smite your first-born dead,
Let my people go!"
Go down Moses, way down in Egypt's land;
Tell old Pharaoh, "Let my people go!"
The Lord told Moses what to do,
Let my people go!
To lead the children of Israel thro',
Let my people go!
Go down Moses, way down in Egypt's land;
We only eat them anyhow
I even find I'm missing Joseph's dreams
Those Canaan days we used to know
Where have they gone, where did they go
Eh bien, raise your berets
To those Canaan days
It's funny but since we lost Joseph
We've gone to the other extreme
Perhaps we all misjudged the lad
Perhaps he wasn't quite that bad
And how we miss his entertaining dreams
Those Canaan days we used to know
Where have they gone, where did they go
Eh bien, raise your berets
To those Canaan days
Eh bien, raise your berets
To those Canaan days
Tell old Pharaoh, "Let my people go!"
When they had reached the other shore,
Let my people go!
They sang the song of triumph o’er,
Let my people go!
Go down Moses, way down in Egypt land;
Tell old Pharaoh, "Let my people go!"
The Frog Song
One morning when pharoah awoke in his
bed
There were frogs in his bed
and frogs on his head
Frogs on his nose
and frogs on his toes
Frogs here
Frogs there
Frogs were jumping everywhere.
Page 5 of 12

SONG OF MOSES ( "She'll be coming
round the mountain”)
Now Moses mother hid him for a while
Then she built an ark and put him in the Nile
Pharoah's daughter came and saw him
Told her servants to withdraw him
Looked upon the child and gave a smile
"I really do believe my luck is in
The things one can discover on a swim!
wait till I tell my Daddy
That I found a little laddie
I'll take him home and make a prince of
him!"
Chorus: Singing Aye Aye Yippee Yippee
Aye, Singing Aye Aye Yippee Yippee
Aye,
Singing Aye Aye Yippee, Singing Aye
Aye Yippee,
Singing Aye Aye Yippee Yippee Aye
One summers day. He took a walk he’d
planned
Saw Egyptians beating Hebrews, whip in
hand
So he killed a cruel taskmaster
And to avoid disaster,
He quickly hid the body in the sand.
Oi Vey, I am filled with fears
Pharoah will be furious when he hears
Pharoah don't like martyrs
He'll have my 'guts for garters!
So he fled and stayed away for 40 years.
Chorus: Singing …
From a burning bush God said to Moses
"Hey!"
Go tell Pharoah that the Israelites wont stay
They don't like his hospitality
Or racialist mentality
On Pesach night they'll all be on their way.
To the Red Sea Pharoah chased them where he
found
That the Israelites had crossed it on dry ground
And they were not downhearted
For them the sea had parted
It was Pharoah's army following that drowned.
Chorus: Singing …
So the Israelites were saved from further flight
And marched off, till Mount Sinai came in
sight
Their slavery had ended
To the top, MOSES ascended
And the Israelites sang this song, with all their
might
He'll be coming down the mountain by and by,
He'll be holding ten commandments up on
high
And we'll not be slaves no morer
For we're gonna have the Torah
Singing Aye Aye Yippee Yippee Aye
Chorus: Singing
Page 6 of 12

Matzah Shmurah
(to the tune of “That’s Amore”)
Bohnens
It is round and it’s dull
And has no taste at all--
Matzah Shmurah!
It is guarded while stored
And it tastes like cardboard--
Matzah Shmurah!
It is watched
From the day it’s sown
Water’s not allowed
Or it’s thrown out the door-a!
It’s commanded by God
And it comes from Chabad--
Matzah Shmurah!
by the
In the most disguising way.
Oh, back in Egypt long ago,
The Jews were slaves under Pharaoh.
They sweat and toiled and labored
through the day.
So when we gather Pesach night,
We do what we think right.
Maror, we chew,
To feel what they went through.
Chorus
So after years of slavery
They saw no chance of being free.
Their suffering was the only life they knew.
But baby Moses grew up tall,
And said he'd save them all.
He did, and yet,
We swear we won't forget.
That......
Just a Tad of Charoset
(to the tune of "Just a spoon full of sugar")
Chorus:
Just a tad of charoset helps the bitter herbs go
down,
The bitter herbs go down, the bitter herbs go
down.
Just a tad of charoset helps the bitter herbs go
down,
Chorus cont….
While the maror is being passed,
We all refill our water glass,
Preparing for the taste that turns us red.
Although maror seems full of minuses,
It sure does clear our sinuses.
But what's to do
It's hard to be a Jew!!!
Chorus
Page 7 of 12

Don't sit on the Afikomen
(To the tune of Glory, Glory, Hallelu-kah)
My Dad at every Seder breaks a Matza piece in two
And hides the Afikomen half-A game for me and you
Find it, hold it ransom for the Seder isn't through
'till the Afikomen's gone.
Chorus:
Don't sit on the Afikomen.
Don't sit on the Afikomen.
Don't sit on the Afikomen.
Or the Meal will last all night
One year Daddy hid it 'neath a pillow on a chair
But just as I raced over, my Aunt Sophie sat down there
She threw herself upon it-Awful crunching filled the air
And crumbs flew all around
Chorus
There were matza crumbs all over-Oh, it was a messy sight
We swept up all the pieces though it took us half the night
So, if you want your Seder ending sooner than dawn's light,
Don't sit on the Afiko-o-men
Chorus
Page 8 of 12

Who knows one
[to the tune of Uncle Moishe]
Who knows one We know one
One is Hashem, one is Hashem, one is Hashem, in the heaven and the earth.
Who knows two We know two
Two are the books that Moshe brought,
One is Hashem, one is Hashem, one is Hashem, in the heaven and the earth
Who knows three We know three
Three are the fathers and two are the books that Moshe brought
One is Hashem. ....................
Who knows four We know four
Four are the mothers and three are the fathers, and two are the books that Moshe
brought
One is Hashem...........
Who knows five We know five
Five are the books ofTorah four are......................
Who knows six We know six
Six are the books of Mishnah, five are.........................
Who knows seven We know seven
Seven are the days of the week, six are.............................
Who knows eight We know eight
Eight are the days of brit millah, seven are..................
Who knows nine We know nine
Nine are the months before a baby's born, eight are...............
Who knows ten We know ten
Ten are the BIG commandments, nine are........................
Who knows eleven We know eleven
Eleven are the stars in Joseph's dream, ten are......................
Who knows twelve We know twelve
Twelve are the tribes of Israel, eleven are......................
Who knows thirteen We know thirteen
Thirteen are the principals of our faith, twelve are............................
Page 9 of 12

CHAD GADYOH
[to the tune of “This old man”]
A Kid just one, which by his whim,
My father bought for two Zuzim,
This song tells what became of him,
CHAD GADYOH CHAD GADYOH.
Alas a cat ate up the kid,
He ate him up, he did he did,
But then a dog ate up the cat,
Kid, cat and dog just fancy that.
Said stick to dog,
You must be beaten,
Because of cat whom you have eaten,
Then fire came and burned the stick,
To beat a dog is a sorry trick.
Fire is burned, but fire is through,
For water said - "now out with you,
Water water you too will stop,
For Ox must drink you every drop."
Alas alas, where is the Ox
His meat is in the butcher's shop,
Weep now for butcher cold and numb,
Death's angel whispered - "time to come."
HASHEM now speaks - "Angel depart,"
So sing again with joyful heart,
An only Kid an only Kid,
CHAD GADYOH CHAD GADYOH.
Page 10 of 12

Pesach Macarena
(Words by Rachel & Ed Scheinerman)
Take coconut, eggs, and lots of grease,
Cook 'em in the oven for your Pesach feast.
They won't rise 'cause they ain't got yeast.
Hey, macaroons!
Mix matzah meal with eggs for a goop
Form into balls and drop in your soup
So heavy on your spoon it will make it droop
Hey, kneidlach!
Through the woods a rabbi took a hike
Found a lake at the edge of a dike
For her favorite dish caught some carp and pike
Hey, gefilte fish!
What do you need for your seder plate
What do you eat before it's too late
What do you take to anti-constipate
Hey, stewed prunes!
What do we crave on the very last night
Sprinkled with cheese for a dinner that's light
Al dente noodles that we long to bite
Hey, macaroni!
Take Me Out to the Seder (tune: Take Me Out to the Ballgame)
Take me out to the Seder
Take me out to the crowd
Feed me some matzah and kosher wine
We'll wine and dine and we'll have a
good time
For we'll root for Moshe Rabbeinu
And our crossing through the Reed Sea
For it's one, two, ...four cups of wine
We rejoice that we are free!
Take me out to the Seder
Take me out with the crowd
Feed me some matzah and chicken
legs
I don't for the hard-boiled eggs
And its root, root, root for Elijah!
That he will soon reappear!
And let's hope, hope, hope that we'll
meet
Once again next year!
Take me out to the Seder
Take me out with the crowd
Read the Haggadah
And don't skip a word
Please hold your talking,
We want to be heard,
And let's root, root for the leader,
That he will finish his spiel!
So we can nosh, nosh, nosh and bygosh
Let's eat the meal!
Page 11 of 12

To The Promised Land
(you’ll have to ask Eli or Noah for the tune)
To the promised land,
Through the desert sand,
A cloud guided them by day,
At night fire led the way.
To the sea the Jews fled,
Chase after them Pharaoh said,
When the Jews saw Pharaoh’s men,
Save us they cried to Hashem.
Hashem split, the Red Sea,
Our people now were free,
Moshe sang, a song of praise,
To Hashem and his mighty ways.
Water Is Blood (to the tune of dayenu)
Water is blood, all did shout,
Frogs were jumping, in and out,
Bugs were crawling everywhere,
BRRRRRRRRR wild animals were a scare.
Then came Dever, by and by,
All the farm animals died,
Schin, boils and pimples too,
On the Mitzryim, not the Jews.
Ten machos, machos ten,
The mitzrim were punished again and again,
Ten machos, machos ten,
The mitzrim were punished again and again.
Page 12 of 12