Beginnings

heavily, I still have the image of her standing there, drenched to the skin, hair and body soaking
wet, smiling at me, even though she was freezing cold.
I still have those books from that day. They still look like concertinas, all bevelled and ruined.
The pages barely separate and they look tired and old. I keep them wrapped up in a bright red
jumper. Her bright red jumper. They were the only things I had of hers and there was no way I
would part with them.
Ever.
After my mum left my dad, I found out she had actually been seeing someone else. It was funny
in a way, because I had met him on more than one occasion. He worked with my mum at the
nightclub - he was the head chef, so I had never thought it was weird when my mum had taken
me and Jo around to his flat to meet him.
To tell the truth, I thought he was wonderful. He always had time to chat, always took an interest
in what we were doing, and in retrospect I realised he thought the absolute world of my mum. It
was good for the soul to see her so happy. Years had been wasted with a man who had told her
nobody else would ever give her a second look, but now she was with a man who thought the sun
rose and fell because she was on the earth.
Those ten years were not easy, by any stretch of the imagination. My dad had great joy divorcing
my mum on the grounds of adultery. All his philandering meant nothing to him, and he glorified
in his statement that he would never forgive her for leaving him … 'for another man at that.' He
failed to recognise his own shortcomings - the affairs, the lies, the fact he got a girl who was a
year older than his daughter pregnant, believing it was his right to do all these things.
My brothers were on his side, following steadily in his footsteps as womanisers and drunks. All
except Alan, and as soon as he was old enough he was off to join the gang. I told you he was an
idiot didn't I
Angie had married a man who looked like Brains from Thunderbirds, although most of the time
he reminded me more of Joe 90. Four of my brothers got married and then three of them got
divorced. They were definitely like their father. Actually Aiden was remarried … and wifey
number two was getting sick and tired of his absences … and I don't mean the times he spent in
nick either. I doubt they will ever learn.
At sixteen I left school and started college to do my A levels.
And that is when I saw her again.
Ash.
My Ash. In the flesh. Bigger, taller, darker, and absolutely positively the most gorgeous creature
on the planet.