Club Sponsors - HQ RACING VICTORIA 2012

The New Humour Section
Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Irish
Revenue stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees
the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview
them. On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tell me about your
staff," he asked Paddy. "Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay
him $340 a week, and he has a free cottage.
Then there's the housekeeper. She gets $290 a week, along with free
board and lodging. There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day,
does 90% of the work, earns about $25 a week along with a bottle of
whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife."
"That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit."
"That'll be me then," said Paddy.
I was listening to the radio this morning when the host invited callers to reveal the nicknames they had
for their wives. Best call was from the chap who called his wife Harvey Norman ...
“No interest for 24 months”
Two old guys, one 90 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning.
The 90 year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short
of breath. The 87 year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked
him what he did to have so much energy. The 90-year-old said, "Well, I
eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have
great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home the 87-year-old stops at the bakery. As he was
looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said,
"Do you have any rye bread?“ She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it.
Would you like some?“ He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves ... By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this shit but me."
Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane to take them into the
Rockies for a week hunting moose. They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return,
the Pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose. The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot
six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours”. Reluctantly, the pilot gave in
and all six were loaded. The plane took off, however, while attempting to cross some mountains, even
on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only Paddy and Mick survived the crash.
After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we are?"
Mick replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."