TAKE 14: THE RAPPING MAN OF LAW, MAN OF ... - KenyanList.com

TAKE 14: THE RAPPING MAN OF LAW, MAN OF GOD P. 14 >>
21 QUESTIONS
with Amina P. 4
Rock
Therapy II
RAVE P.7
Be Famous. zuqka.com
FREE WITH YOUR DAILY NATION. ISSUE NO. 200 October 12, 2012
Giving
COMEDY
a different
approach
JB and Allandoz share their views
on emerging trends in local laugh
industry
P.8
Classico is a
bore
FRANK FOOT P.13
Data
Privacy
TECHNO P.4

2
upfront »
BE FAMOUS.
daily NATION October 12, 2012
ONE PERSON
WITH A BELIEF
IS EQUAL
TO A FORCE
OF 99 WHO
HAVE ONLY
INTERESTS.”
– JOHN
STUART MILL
THE STAGE
PHILO on the hopes and dreams of
mamasitas PG.12 >>>
Ed says...
MANY A MAN WOULD like to live
a life of laughter, no pain, no debt, no
doubt. Basically, no stress, but alas!
These are existential discomforts
that we must endure. And because
— as Derrick Amunga once said
— Kenyans are really hardworking,
it is necessary to sometimes put
the business, the politics, the crime,
and the family aside and just have a
laugh.
In our Cover this week we speak
to the greenhorns of the industry, a
funny duo whose aim is to do things
a little differently. Find that story on
pages 8 and 9.
Now, many of us are still in school,
still trying to find ways to save as
much money as possible. Nadia
Darwesh, our guest writer this week,
shares tips on how best to save that
bob. All that and more on Page 14.
Yours truly has a big mushy spot
for rock in all its forms. So when
I got the invite to attend a Rock
Therapy II session, it was with single-
NEXT WEEK: We focus on some of Kenya’s best
guitarists. With OktoberFest and Rocktober Fest
just around the corner, ZuQka digs deep into
the hearts and souls of our rockers. Find out the
instruments they play, what it takes to put up a
show and, most importantly, what happens when
the curtains go down once again.
INSIDE
4
6
8
10
minded focus that I prepared for,
then attended, that session. Rather
than spoil it for you, I will let you
discover what went down at Alliance
Française last Friday. That story on
Page 6.
Lastly, our people person this week
is Erick “Ryk Mchoraji” Kivuva,
whose unique vision could see him
scaling the same heights that Sean
Jean did. Let us give that sometime
though, shall we? Ryk is an artist
whose muse strikes when least
unexpected — as is with most artists.
Despite having the opportunity to
work at what people call a “good job”,
he has taken his gift and turned it
into mulla. All dreams start small, but
as John Stuart Mill said: “One person
with a belief is equal to a force of 99
who have only interests.”
Believe away...
cnjeri@ke.nationmedia.com
Ciku’s Beefs
The great cleanse
Rave
Rock Therapy II
Cover
Funny men about
their jobs
Vibe Central
Mejja’s homecoming
12
13
14
15
The team
Philip’s Blog
Think like a man
Lifestyle
Fusebox, Dalliance
Diary &
Frankfoot
Take 14
Spending less in
College
Multimedia
Feel no pain, Sinbad,
The Expatriate,
FIFA 13
Group Editorial Director: Joseph Odindo Managing Editor: Mutuma Mathiu
Associate Editor: Wambua Sammy Features Editor: Bernard Mwinzi Standin-Editor:
Njeri Muchai Revise Editor: Mary Wasike Sub-Editor: Terry Mwenda
Photographic Editor: Joan Pereruan Group Design Editor: Kathleen Bogan
Chief Graphic Designer: Roger Mogusu Senior Graphic Designer: Marc Mwera
Contributors: Phillip Mwaniki, Dennis Okeyo, Ciku Kimani, Frank Midega, George
Madiangi, Sam Kiranga, Maureen Orwa,, Jack Zollo, Elvis Ogina, Charles Kamau,
Issa Khalid, Felix Mind
ZuQka is published every week by Nation Media Group Limited. It is distributed
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transparencies are submitted at the sender’s risk. While every care will be taken
on receipt of such material, the Nation Media Group Limited cannot accept
responsibility for accidental loss or damage. ©Nation Media Group Limited, 2012.
All rights reserved.

BE FAMOUS.
daily NATION October 12, 2012
CATCH THE
ACTION
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12
DIVA NIGHT AT CLUB LAMBADA
Disco fans at the Coast will tonight be treated to the
Diva Night at Mtwapa’s Club Lambada International.
Tomorrow brings Havoc Night at the same spot.
Every Wednesday it’s reloaded ‘Passa Passa Mature
Reggae Night’. The resident DJs will perform at
special enclosed deck from right inside the pool beneath
a suspended pool stage and Cabaret dance
shows. Sunday is family fun-day from 2pm.
ERIC WAINAINA LIVE CONCERT
Popular musician Eric Wainaina will tonight perform
at the Sheebeen Upper Hill backed by his group
— The Best Band in Africa. The show starts at 8pm.
Eric is best known for his songs like the Daima, Nchi
ya Kitu Kidogo and Twende Twende (featuring Zimbabwean
crooner Oliver Mtukudzi).
HAPPY DAYS AT KAHAMA’S
Happy Days are back again at Kahama’s Sports
Bar in Mombasa. Experience Happiness Monday to
Thursday with reduced beer prices. Also sample
the non-stop entertainment, best Karaoke shows
on Thursdays, amazing DJ’s mixing great disco
music and live bands on Wednesday, Fridays and
Sundays.
KARAOKE NIGHT AT MAKAVILLA
The Makavilla Resort Club in Murang’a town hosts
Karaoke Nite tonight. Tomorrow its Mugithi Nite
featuring popular one man guitarists Mike Kinyua
and Bundi. Disco music with DJ Packs. Lots of
Nyama Choma and African cuisine available. Special
gifts for the best dressed couple.
FRANCO SHOWS AT DREAM VILLAGE
Fans of legendary Congolese musician Franco Makiadi
in Nairobi can team up tonight and tomorrow
at the Dream Village Restaurant at Nairobi South B
for tribute shows. Music by Bilenge Musica featuring
Darzee Kalend. Meanwhile also catch up with some
of the latest Congolese music stage shows at the
same. Don’t forget Special African dishes available!
RUMBA AT NEW THRILLS CLUB
Rumba fans in Mumias will team up tonight and tomorrow
at the newly opened NewThrills Club-Ekero
featuring MC Ben Nato and DJ Rashid. Watch out
for Miss Western show on November 2 at the same
spot featuring MC Ken Makokha.
AMITIE MUSICA’S FRANCO SHOWS
Members of the Mombasa based Amitie Musica
band led by Crispn Tambwe have lined up Franco
THE BACARDI 150 YEARS’ CELEBRATION PARTY
When: Saturday October 13, 2012
Time: 7pm - 6am
Where: Club Ichonic (Ngong Racecourse)
Entrance: Invite Only
All roads lead to Club Ichonic this Saturday as
Bacardi celebrates its 150th birthday in style. Per-
special tribute shows today Friday October 12 in
Mombasa at Jambo Village and tomorrow at the
Zaituni Bar. Both shows start at 7pm.
JAMESON VIP EXPERIENCE - FORTY THIEVES
The Jameson VIP experience is happening this Saturday
October 13 at Forty Thieves South Coast from
8PM till late. Entry Sh500.
KARATINA UNIVERSITY FRESHAZ
X-clusive Sounds Entertainment presents the Karatina
University Freshaz Party this Friday October 12
starting from 8pm till dawn. On the decks Dj Messy
and Dj Neil. Don’t miss this one!!!
FLOODLIT VILLAGE BY ADRENALINMOTION
The second week of the real rugby village continues
this weekend courtesy of AdrenalinMotion at
this year’s Airtel Impala Rugby Tournament Semi
Finals at Impala Club, Saturday October 13. Enjoy
the action and the real village to the UrbaN Lounge
arena with Dj Kriss Darlin, Dj Purpl and Dj Jojez. Lots
of barbecue treats, and many games like arcade
games, go-kart racing, star jump, football, rugby
games and many more. The party continues at the
Floodlit Village until very late.
Is there any cool theatre, music, video, art,
or professional event that you would like
us to know about? Email our resident party
man Longosiwa Opongita at: dokeyo@ke.nati
onmedia.com
THE BARCADI»
forming live will be P-Unit and The Calabash Band
will rock the crowd with some amazing tunes. On
the decks will be acclaimed DJs N’Ruff, Kym, and
Adrian. Attendants will be rubbing shoulders with
celebrities across various spheres of the Kenyan
entertainment scene from actors/actresses to musicians
and socialites. Never again will you attend a
star-studded event like this one. The event will kick
off at 7pm and go down till 6am.
TIES AND STILETTOS
EVENT: TIES AND STILETTOS
(cocktail party)
VENUE: SECRETS LOUNGE
DATE: SATURDAY OCTOBER 13
TIME: 9pm to 6am
ENTRY: INVITE ONLY (BUT TRY
YOUR LUCK ANYWAY)
This is where taste and class
share a drink as you sample
the best cocktails Nairobi has
to offer courtesy of SECRETS
LOUNGE. In the house will be
Core DJs and Jayson Spinn
blazing up the turntables with
the latest video blends.
NAIROBI HAUTE COUTURE
NAIROBI HAUTE COUTURE – Arise
Fashion
When: SATURDAY OCTOBER 13
Time: 7.30pm to 10.30pm
Where: Hilton
Designers: Blackbird Jeans, Tichi
Designs, Ankara Vintage, Zeynab
Ally, A la Mode Africa, Vaishali Morjaria
Creations
Live Music by: Joseph Hellon
Dress Code: Dresses for ladies and
coats for the dudes
Tickets: Sh1,000 (advance available
at IMAX) and Sh1,500 at the gate
MR & MISS ZETECH PAGEANT
Mr & Miss Zetech Pageant
When: Friday October 12, 2012
Time: 7pm to dawn
Where: Simba Saloon, Carinivore
Performers: Wyre the Love Child, Redsan, P-Unit,
Size 8, Chris Eh Baba
MCs: Erick and Fred Omondi
DJ: Inferno Deejays
Judges: Kevin Omondi (choreographer and International
model), Suzanna Owiyo, former Miss
Kenya Susan Anyango, and Robert Burale (Nollywood
movie star)
The event will be judged by choreographer
and international model Kevin Omondi, World
renown song bird Suzanna Owiyo, former Miss
Kenya Susan Anyango, Kenya and Nollywood
movie star and actor Robert Burale, the famous
Fundi Frank, and Regina Re.
3

4
FYI
James Cameron was living
in his car when he wrote Terminator.
In case you’ve never
seen the first movie, it focuses
on Sarah Connor, a woman attacked
by a robot from the future
who has the goal of killing
her to prevent her unborn son
from defeating the machines
in the future. When Cameron
made the script, he barely
had enough money to get by.
Eventually, he sold his script to
Gale Ann Hurd for one dollar,
but earned the right to direct
the film himself. His career
took off from there.
—OMG-facts
straight shootin’
DISCOVERING THE ALLURE OF MALINDI
It’s now Day 3 and I’ve
already lost 1.1kg. They said
I would be down 3-4kg by
the end of my trip and I’m
beginning to believe them
I
have been under a lot of stress,
trying to organise a huge concert
and now that it is finally
over, I am on a retreat in an
effort to detox/distress etc.
By the time you read this, I
should be back in Nairobi having
missed last week’s deadline for this
column. Sorry, to my long-suffering
editor, but the James Ingram tour
had taken a toll on my body. My
skin actually dried out and started
to resemble something reptilian
(yes, cringe). I was wondering if I
was allergic to something. It turns
out, though, that dehydration, lack
of proper sleep, a million burdens
upon your shoulders, and a phone
that will not stop ringing can cause
some chemical reactions internally
that manifest physically.
Kabi Pratt (one of the awesome
opening acts for Ingram) recommended
Lion in The Sun in Malindi.
All I knew about it is that the likes
of super model Naomi Campbell
THE BEST OF 21 QUESTIONS
WITH ANGELA ANGWENYI AND EDWARD KWACH
Kwach: If someone were to ask you what has
changed in your life now that you are a millionaire,
what would you say?
Ruth: That I now know my real friends.
Kwach: All your friends now have a problem?
Ruth: No, no, no! There are some who now
expect me to be different... you know... or treat
them in a different way. So I just know who is
real and who is fake.
Kwach: They say you can count your friends
with one hand, is that also true with you as well?
Ruth: Just one finger.
Kwach: Just one finger, there’s just that one
girl?
Ruth: Maybe.
Kwach: What have you spent on you? We read
that you had moved house.
Ruth: I moved.
Kwach: You moved, alright. You’ve got your
own apartment now?
Ruth: Yes, it is a rental house.
Kwach: You are furnishing it yourself?
Ruth: Yes.
Kwach: What’s the most expensive thing you
bought in there?
Ruth: A fridge.
Kwach: A fridge? That two-door thing?
Ruth: Yeah.
Kwach: Let’s talk about TPF for a minute. Were
you guys watching it?
Ruth: No.
Ruth Matete — TPF5 Winner
Kwach: What are you, as the winner of
TPF5, going to do differently from the previous
winners, because, you see, a lot of
them... they came, they saw, and they went.
Ruth: ...definitely to release an album ASAP
because at the end of the day the guys who
voted for me... all they would want is to have my
album. Most of the people who voted for me, I
believe, voted for the talent that I have and they
enjoyed listening to me sing, so how
else would I pay them back if not
through an album?
Kwach: Have you spoken to
any of the previous winners
to ask them whether they
would like to mentor you?
Who are your mentors by
the way?
Ruth: Right now the only
person I listen to is my
father. I believe that, being
in the media, he knows a
few things here and there,
so I have to listen to people
who have been there,
people who I know can
help me in this industry.
Kwach: Okay, we’re
going to talk about
Daddy Cool in a little
while. But before we
get to that, who were
the contestants who
impressed you the
most?
Ruth: Linda Muthama
(TPF1) and Alpha. I was
and former Formula One champion
Fernando Alonso like to stay
here. And now I know why. They
have a detox programme specifically
designed for people like me
whose body is the worse for wear.
I thought I would try it out. Thank
God I did. Tatler (a British high
fashion magazine) voted Thalaspa
Henri Chenot as the best spa in the
world. I am on a six-day programme
that involves treatments that embrace
age-old Chinese tradition.
There is hydrotherapy, vibro massages,
a biolite diet, workouts etc.
Strictly NO booze. There are those
who stay here and are not on the
programme, so one may be tempted
to have a glass of wine with them
but the staff knows who is on the
programme and who is not, so they
will not allow you to deviate and run
amok. Being on holiday with no alcohol
is refreshingly different. This
is day two and I am already feeling
relaxed. All my worries and troubles
have been floating away, simultaneously
with the toxins in my body.
I have wondered why celebrities
check into hospital for “exhaustion”.
It is not like they are construction
workers, right? I can see a coal
miner fainting from exhaustion, but
a singer? How does that work? But
I get it now. Travelling all over the
world, dealing with jet lag, speaking
to dozens of journalists, posing for
pictures with a couple hundred fans,
CIKU’S BEEFS
ciku
muiruri
signing autographs, making appearances,
rehearsing, performing,
glad he won, and if I have to pick any from
Season 5, it would have to be Jackson.
Kwach: Would you consider working with
Jackson?
Ruth: Yes, I would.
Kwach: Whatever you learned from the
Academy, was it really practical?
Ruth: Sometimes. There was that one session
where we were told how to behave
“out there”, and it’s actually real. The
things that we actually talked about
in the Academy are happening;
everyone is following you, life automatically
changes, and you have
to flow with it. If you don’t have
the energy, you’ll fall.
Kwach: Speaking of following
you, there’s a dude who followed
you to the studio here.
Who’s he?
Ruth: His name is Dan Omollo,
why? He’s helping me drive
around because I still
don’t know how to drive.
Shame on me.
Kwach: He’s helping
you drive around, I
like that.
Ruth: I had to
also spoil myself
with a
car, come on!
(Laughter)
Kwach: So,
what car did
you buy?
BE FAMOUS. daily NATION October 12, 2012
posing for more pictures, making
more appearances and flying out to
the next gig, deal with yet another
bout of jetlag can take a toll on
anyone. Throw in shooting music
videos, recording the next album,
attending some award shows in
between, and it can pretty much
wipe out anyone. And how about
adding philanthropy to that list?
The Ingrams have pledged to help
Thika School for the Blind with the
issues on their wish list. That was
the peak of the Ingram tour for me
— giving back.
Ok, it is now Day 3 and I have already
lost 1.1kg. They said I would
be down 3-4kg by the end of my
trip and I am beginning to believe
them.
The alligator skin remains. Sigh.
Meanwhile, in a couple of days, the
man who owns this joint, auto-racing
boss, Flavio Briatore, is flying
in with some architects who are
working on his Billionaire casino.
Just my luck, a pack of Italians
just within reach and I look like an
anaconda (insert expletive here).
Next week, more on this magnificent
island that has billionaires,
hotties, and feels like it is NOT part
of Kenya.
www.facebook.com/missciku
Twitter handle: @missciku
Ruth: A Toyota Premio, new model.
Kwach: I like that. What colour is it?
Ruth: It’s white, my favourite colour.
Kwach: So, why Dan Omollo?
Ruth: Because he is a friend and I trust
him and he’s one of the people who really
rooted for me.
Kwach: Do you have a boyfriend?
Ruth: Yes, I have a boyfriend.
Kwach: …who is not Dan Omollo?
Ruth: It is not Dan Omollo.
Kwach: Kwani what’s wrong with your
boyfriend? (Laughter) Why can’t he drive
you around Nairobi.
Ruth: (Laughter). Listen, oh my goodness!
He is not around, that’s why.
Kwach: Oh, so he’s not in Kenya? It’s a
long-distance relationship?
Ruth: Yeah.
Kwach: They say what happens in Daystar
stays in Daystar. What are your thoughts
on Campus Girls for Rich Men... is that what
it is called?
Ruth: I don’t know, but we all have our
morals, things we believe in, and once you
are 18 you know what is right and what is
wrong.
Kwach: Was there a lot of pressure when
you were in campus?
Ruth: For me, no. I know what I wanted to
get from there.
Kwach: I like that.

BE FAMOUS.
daily NATION October 12, 2012
Ryk’s design house has a product range of T-shirts,
polo shirts, caps, painted canvas shoes, and sneakers.
It includes a corporate service where he designs Tshirts
and polo shirts for companies: casual office wear,
corporate gifts, and campaigns.
In the T-shirt business, it
is hard to be original. After
a year and a half in the business,
Erick “Ryk Mchoraji”
Kivuva has had to rethink his
designs to stay ahead of the
ever-growing competition. He
specialises in abstract art.
“Abstract art has no limitations.
I do not like restricting
my line of thought, my emotions,
my mind, my creativity.
Abstract art allows you to
lose your sanity and
experience an
out-of-the-box
feel,” he explains.
Under his
fashion label,
Re’ Touch Designs,
Ryk has
been painting, airbrushing,
printing,
stitching on fabric
and embroidering
outlandish designs,
flushed with colour,
the on T-shirts. In his
last two collections,
however, there is less printing and
embroidering. Instead, he focuses
on painting the fabric. As a result,
Re’ Touch Designs has taken a
dramatic turn, standing out and
becoming truly fashionable in the
already crowded contemporary
African Street Wear trade.
“I’m doing more abstract art because
that’s where Ryk is at right
now. Whenever I did what others
were doing, I didn’t get favourable
responses. But when I did what
I wanted, calls and emails came
flying in. Plus Kenyans don’t like
being bracketed within repetition.
No two outfits are alike,” he says.
His art is usually as a result of
on-the-moment
inspiration. It
is, therefore,
difficult to give
it a name or
categorise it
« people
RYK MCHORAJI: COLOUR AND POMP
I TARGET
THE NORMAL
MWANANCHI, WHO
WANTS TO LOOK
GOOD AND FEEL
GREAT
under existing styles; tribal, pop
art, or graffiti maybe? His “where
fashion meets freedom” motto is,
therefore, quite apt.
Ryk’s love for art began in primary
school. He used it on T-shirts
for individuals and social clubs. He
even got pocket money in college
through his art. After a couple of
months in formal employment,
the economics graduate, resigned
to become a full-time fashion artist.
His design house has a product
range of T-shirts, polo shirts, caps,
painted canvas shoes, and sneakers.
It includes a corporate service
where he designs T-shirts and
polo shirts for companies: casual
office wear, corporate gifts, and
campaigns.
“Re’ Touch Design is built on
the principle of not being like
everyone else. My artistic nature
is to be daring and colourful,” says
Ryk.
To wear a Ryk Mchoraji
T-shirt, you need
to be psychologically
prepared to turn heads.
That may be the reason
why local celebrities like
DJ Kaytrixx, DJ Krowbar,
and Homeboyz presenter
Jeff wear his designs.
“Everyone who wears my designs
is a celeb. I do not necessarily
target people who are often in
the limelight, I target the normal
mwananchi, people like me, people
who want to look good and feel
great,” he says.
Another reason for his success
is aggressive marketing through
social media; Facebook page Ryk
Mchoraji, twitter account @Ryk_
Mchoraji and blog rykmchoraji.bl
ogspot.com.
“Everyone buys my T-shirts,
male and female. Whenever I upload
a male design, males call in
to order and the same for female
designs and the funniest thing,
people call in to order gifts for
their loved ones. So, I’m always on
my toes,” says Ryk.
In the beginning, he tried running
a physical location on Moi Avenue
but did not last a month. He
thus decided to do consignment
deals with Cool Beans (at Bishan
Plaza, Westlands, below Redtape/
BlackDiamond) and United Shop
at Nakumatt Junction.
By Mwikali Lati
mwikalilati@gmail.com
5

6
« rave
WE ARE NOT SURE HOW THE FIRST
EDITION OF ROCK THERAPY WENT
DOWN, BUT THIS WAS ONE OF THE
BEST MOMENTS OF THE YEAR, WRITES
NJERI MUCHAI
BE FAMOUS.
daily NATION October 12, 2012
Pose like an Egyptian: Left is Punky
playin the guitar blocked by that
banana leaf you see there. Next to her
is Reema having a Usain Bolt moment
ROCK THERAPY II
It is a few minutes to 8pm, we are all
settling in nicely on the cool (temperature)
plastic chairs at Le Jardin. The stage is set;
veteran rockers are littered all over the place.
Some are helping with the sound. Others
— like me — are wondering why the hell
we stopped playing. Feeling a little envious,
happy to be here to witness Murfy’s fLaw in
their fifth year of being awesome, and, most
of all, looking forward to a good shake-yourdreadlocks
opportunity — that comes a little
later in the story.
From the peripheries of that beautiful
music-filled thought process, the voice of a
man all but heaves into our ears. The crowd
is unhappy but, luckily, he realises that and
is gently shooed off stage.
A lesson in how one man, in the name of
an MC, can ruin a Lady Gaga concert, no
matter how much Illuminati or millionaire
backing she has.
Finally, it begins.
8:14
The Murfs take to the
stage. Reema in a short
dress and a half coat
and lovely calf-high
(that what you call ’em?) boots. The opening
song is In Silence from their latest album,
Hello Light. Her screams are quite infectious
and I want to join in, but a look around tells
me that the audience has not drank enough
to tolerate my hollering. Is Jozie singing
backup? The horror! Thing is, the only one
that is not singing is Punky, but they sound
pretty good.
lawyer” Reema’s
singing now. Don’t
know which song that
8:18“Hot-shot
is. “Are you sure she’s
Kenyan?” a kindred spirit asks with so much
shock in his eyes that I inch slowly away. How
does she manage to be so flawless? At this
point, I am focusing on 9ine in his grey pants,
baggy white shirt buttoned in one place only,
and black T-shirt. Quite frankly, he is dressed
like one of those well-to-do hobos. And there
never was a hobo that played better than he
that night. Singing the song that Jozie wrote…
Main and only man of the band
9ine, while making a bad joke
about a fish and a wall... and a
dam at ROCK THERAPY ii
lot like In Silence... they are all singing now cable, adjust my belt, and tell it “Hey! You!
for her baby (and not of the infant variety ei-
PHOTOS | EMMA NZIOKA and they are so in harmony. Why exactly am Let’s take it outside,” cowboy style.
ther)
I shocked? They come to this part where they
8:23
8:48
I am impressed, her
The band jumps
sing “and I want you to scream.” Everybody
smile never falters,
straight into Evil Gen- — malfunction anyone? This is a song from — except the brothers — screamed. And oh,
true stage goddess
ius. Reema is in the their first album Makosa. Nafasi it is called. the solo was so pure, I cried a little.
this one. We all stare
crowd. I want those For the second time that night, I notice my
8:40
Now even I’m sing- in awe.
boots! Before I can tackle her and steal them, “date” staring at Joanna on the keys. I cannot
ing at the top of my
8:51
Is Kiswahili not sweeter
she is back on stage, jumping and doing that be mad. What is not to like? She is in a lovely
lungs “Over the
when it’s “rockafied”?
dance that she and 9ine, side-to-side… side- neck ornament that shines, a lovely, striped,
edge”. It’s a shame
For the first time in
to-side again, repeat.
off-the-shoulder... what? Jozie plays the vio- that we never quite see Vicky drumming
years, Punky’s white
8:21
9ine breaks into a Lionell lin??? Whoa! I can only take so much talent. because she is drumming quite fantastically. guitar is dancing, which means she is too. I
Richie song… “Hello. Is it At least pretend to suck.
“We need to get her a pedestal,” someone think she has been “ponywad” or infected,
me you’re looking for...”
8:33
Now the band is telling shouts. The brother sitting next to me could whichever’s better. They sound exactly like
the crowd goes wild. And
bad jokes. They are so barely contain himself.
vampire weekend for about 10 seconds. And
back they go into their song. Is it just me or
bad that I cover my
8:45
Rumours only push the duets are so… well, let us just say that 9ine
are all their voices in perfect harmony? I am
ears for a while. I can
him over the edge. and Reema rhyme like water and swimming
holding my breath as I try to tell who is sing- hear them anyway… damn the microphones.
“How is Reema’s pools.
ing in which voice. It is like listening to a four- “What did the fish say when it hit a wall?”
voice so perfect?
string vocal chord, if ever it existed.
9ine asks, “Dam!” Joanna tells one too, some- These guys are really perfect.” Again, I inch
8:27
8:57
Makosa, the 2008
album title track, is
I blink and there are thing about lead singers and bulbs.
away.
finally blaring from
violinists on stage. I
8:35
Thank goodness.
8:47
Reema almost trips on
the speakers… such a
see them, but I do not
Bad jokes away! Now
a guitar cable instead rich sound — I doff my cap to their sound
hear them. This drink
they perform a new
of laughing, all I want engineer. Sometime before 9pm there is a
in my hand should have kicked in by now
song which sounds a
to do is walk up to the sing-off that Vicky wins.

BE FAMOUS.
daily NATION October 12, 2012
9:14 Ungrateful You and is
Reema changes into hot
pants... and my, the tweets
that follow. They perform
it just me or does Punky always look like a
character in Egyptian hieroglyphics? Her body
faces forward, while her face looks right.
It was then that we gave up just tapping our
Jozie took to the violin very soon after this
photo was snapped. That in itself sent our
camera’s numb with shock!
9ine having a Jimi Hendrix
moment... and the crowd went
wild
feet and just started jumping up and down.
“Caution to the wind,” I told myself. I do not
remember much else but jumping up and
down so much that my feet hurt, and the show
might have ended at Le Jardin that night, but
in my rock loving mind, that party don’t ever
stop. Grammar to the wind…
cnjeri@ke.nationmedia.com
Kenya’s health insurance needs are becoming more and more sophisticated, forcing players to
come up with innovative products that suit specific needs. These products include corporate
and individual health covers and rescue plans.
The Daily Nation of Thursday, October 18, 2012 will publish a comprehensive
feature that focuses on health covers. The purpose will be to educate the public
on the different packages of medical cover, cost and also give a platform for
advertising the different health insurance covers that your company is offering.
To advertise on this feature kindly contact Antony Kamanda on:
0720 142233 or email akamanda@ke.nationmedia.com
Reema sings about her ‘evil
genius’, knowing her so well...
�7

8
cover »
BE FAMOUS.
daily NATION October 12, 2012
The founders of modern American stand-up comedy include Jack Benny, Bob
Hope, George Burns, Fred Allen, Milton Berle, and Frank Fay. They spoke directly
to the audience as themselves, in front of the curtain, known as performing
“in one”. Frank Fay gained acclaim as a “master of ceremonies” at New
York’s Palace Theatre and is credited with creating the style of 20th century
stand-up comedy.
Allandoz (left) and JB
are the star acts in NTV’s
Comedy Club.
ALL PHOTOS: JAMES PANAITO
GIVING GIVING COME
COME
Every week, we are treated to at least one comedy show
on our local television channels, and the curious thing
about this whole new laugh industry is that our new crop
of comedians is just beginning to toddle the steps. JB
and Allandoz star in NTV’s recently launched COMEDY
CLUB, and MAUREEN ORWA unveils the persons behind
the comedians
What are your real names?
JB: Nathan Kimani. “JB” stands for Junior Box. The name came from
Dad’s stage name Masanduku. Box is masanduku in Kiswahili, hence
the name Masanduku Junior or Junior Box.
Allandoz: Allan Kisali.
How old are you guys?
JB: I am 23 years old.
Allandoz: I am 24.
How did you end up in the comedy industry?
JB: Mine is a funny story. After high school (Starehe Boys’ Centre), I

BE FAMOUS.
daily NATION October 12, 2012
Stand-up comedy is the focus of four major international
festivals: the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in Edinburgh, Scotland,
Just for Laughs in Montreal, Canada, HBO’s US Comedy
Arts Festival in Aspen, and the Melbourne International
Comedy Festival in Melbourne, Australia.
DY DY A A DIFFERENT DIFFERENT APPROACH
APPROACH
THE THEME BEHIND OUR
COMEDY SHOW IS; WE
BREAK EVERYTHING
(SKETCHES) DOWN,
FROM THE EXPERIENCES
GUYS GO THROUGH
TO CURRENT AFFAIRS,
RELIGIOUS MATTERS AND
POLITICAL SATIRE. EVERY
SKETCH IS ALLOCATED
APPROXIMATELY TWO
MINUTES SO THAT ALL
TARGET AUDIENCES ARE
CATERED FOR.”
— JB
went to Russia to study civil engineering. On coming back home for my
vacation — I was a Second Year then — I attended a baby shower where
the Churchill Live crew had been invited. One of them asked my opinion
about the show (he did not know who I was) and I commended the show.
On learning who my father was, they asked me if I could crack a joke and
I did. Going back home later, I decided I wanted to do comedy, and that
is how I ditched the civil engineering course for comedy. However, I am
currently enrolled at Strathmore for a Bachelor of Commerce course.
Allandoz: While in Kahawa Secondary School, I was the cheeky guy; I
used to mimic and imitate what my teachers said — in their absence, of
course — and basically everything I seemed to say sounded funny to my
fellow students. After high school I joined Liquid Entertainment where we
did stage plays and my debut was in a Heartstrings play called Divorce
Made in Kenya.
What makes Comedy Club different from the other
local comedy shows on TV right now?
JB: The theme behind our comedy show is; we break everything
(sketches) down, from the experiences guys go through to current
affairs, religious matters and political satire. Every sketch is allocated
approximately two minutes so that all target audiences are catered for.
Allandoz: I also think the fact that we get different celebrity hosts for the
show differentiates us from the others. These celebrities exercise their
THE ROLE OF EMCEE
While a stand-up comedy show may involve only one
comedian, most shows feature a “headline” format, or a
“showcase” format. A headline format typically features an
opening act known as a host or master of ceremonies (MC)
who usually warms up the crowd, makes announcements,
and introduces the other performers.
sense of humour, which in turn acts in their favour as they are able to
relate to their fans.
But don’t you think the tribal jokes are a bit overdone?
JB: Yes, they are, but we have to admit that comedy is the best tool
to tackle tribalism. However, the audience usually has this mentality of
comedians doing something out of this world.
What are some of the highlights in your journey as a
comedian?
JB: The major highlight was when I joined Churchill Live. Churchill gave
me a platform to showcase my comic side. I have performed at the
Comedy Club Live in Uganda, I was a co-host in the programme Matatu
and currently I am in Comedy Club.
Allandoz: After Liquid Entertainment I joined Insignia Production, where
I became a supporting actor in Changing Times. I also got a role in
Mheshimiwa, where I acted as a watchman for Mheshimiwa Habbakuk. I
featured in Inspekta Mwala as a thug and later in Papa Shirandula, where I
acted as Naliaka’s boyfriend. Then along came Comedy Club.
Where do you derive your inspiration from?
JB: From day-to-day life, family, and most especially my late dad. The nine
years that I got to know him were the best, especially because of the fact
that he was that guy who made everyone laugh. I believe I am here to
finish what he started.
Allandoz: Well, I get it from watching a lot of movies and series and
also from day-to-day life happenings, especially from where I grew up
— Kangemi — where you get all sorts of characters; form drunkards to
mad men.
Who are your favourite comedians?
JB: Locally, it has to be Churchill, and internationally it is Chris Rock who
takes the crown, followed by Eddie Griffin (sometimes called Griffith) and
Steve Harvey.
Allandoz: Locally, it is Erick Omondi. I think he is real and entertaining at
the same time. Internationally, Jim Carrey does it for me.
Where do you see yourselves in five years?
JB: Married with three kids. No, wait, I’ll be 28 years then and three
kids will be a handful, let us stick to married. I hope to establish my
own production company and a children’s home. Hopefully, I will have
completed my studies then and still be in Kenya but also doing stand-up
outside the country (laughs).
Allandoz: Wow! Aah, I plan to open an academy for comedy, get married
and no kids (I am not planning for them yet), and make my name an
international brand.
Now, before you get on stage to perform is there
something you feel you have to do? Do you have a
ritual?
JB: Ritual? (laughs). I throw up; it eases the nervousness. And then I pray.
I pray every day.
Allandoz: Could be the food he ate making him throw up (laughs). What
works for me is jogging on the spot and praying; it works every time.
Have you ever been booed off the stage?
JB: No, but the blank stares I received while performing in Kisii… those
were just terrible.
Allandoz: This is my first comedy show and so far no one has booed me
off the stage.
Do you have the problem of people not taking you
seriously?
JB: All the time... well... sometimes. The toughest thing is the switch
from being a normal person to a comedian.
Allandoz: My ex-girlfriend actually dumped me three times because she
thought I was a joke. She used to tell me to get serious even when I was
pretty sure that I was serious.
Are you dating?
Allandoz: Nope, I have put it on hold for now.
JB: I am not sure if I want to disclose that, but anyway let me just say that
I am in a relationship (second anniversary in December) and that is all I will
say… for now.
Right. Let’s get to your favourites. Favourite Food?
Allandoz: Chicken and rice.
JB: I am a meat lover.
Favourite Music?
JB: Afro-fusion, neo-soul, rock, and hip hop.
Allandoz: Reggae, R’nB and lingala.
Favourite joints?
Allandoz: Red Carpet in Ngara, Changez, and Brew Bistro.
JB: Mercury, Brew Bistro, and Blancos.
9

10
GENGE RAPPER
MEJJA, WHOSE
TRIP TO NYERI WAS
NOTHING SHORT OF
A TALENT SCOUTING
EXPEDITION AND
HOMECOMING
four-one-one
MAMBA GOSPEL CENTRE GOES TO THE DOGS
The Coast night scene seems to be getting darker and sorrier by the day. Several months after opening
its doors to a new brand of revellers, Mamba Gospel Centre has been closed down. The club, which was
a strictly Christian recreational centre went down after what the owners termed “bad business”. Initially
known as Mamba International Disco, the centre was slowly gaining the interest of the Christian quarters
but the management was not happy with the slow rate of returns on investment. “Business was terribly
slow and it was too expensive to run the place,” said an official involved in the management of the enterprise.
Before it shut down, the club had hosted a poorly attended gospel concert that featured Daddy
Owen, Emmy Kosgei, Henry, and BMF. Mamba becomes the fifth club to close down in the past few months
after Tembo Disco, Club Havanna, Full Moon, and Pool Bar.
— GEORGE MADIANGI

BE FAMOUS.
daily NATION October 12, 2012
11

12
PHILIP@ZUQKA.COM SAYS:
We are
easily influenced as
human beings. Movies
especially get us
all at some point in our lives to act
in a certain way.
I remember “gangsta” films like
Menace II Society had me walking
around with a mean grill and
a gritty attitude. I was walking
around like there was a camera
in my face. I even rehearsed in
the mirror how to be “hard” like
Larenz Tate and tried that “Crip
walk” while wearing oversized
shirts that I forced my mum to buy
as she protested, saying “But this
is 19 times bigger than you?”
Now, I was more on the whole
walking and talking side and not
the gangster side of the movie.
Then I watched other films like
Straight Out of Brooklyn, Poetic
Justice, Boyz n’ the Hood, Juice and
Above the Rim and for at least a
year, all I did was the “half nod”.
It is the same as a full nod but
makes you look like you froze in
the middle of a seizure. My every
conversation had a “Know what I
am saying?” and peppered with
other “hood” words like “Cuz”,
“brah” and “blood”. I had been indoctrinated.
That phase passed.
Flash forward to current day
and the gangsta movies are long
gone. What we have are sappy
films and TV shows that every
woman with a heartbeat seems to
eat up with glee.
We have all these girls who
walk into a supermarket hoping
that they will drop something
and while rushing to pick it up,
some tall and handsome guy will
throw himself to the floor, with
little disregard for his own safety,
to catch it.
They exchange glances and
right there, right at that moment,
sparks fly, unicorns break out
from their mythological stables,
angels burst into song, heavenly
confetti showers both of you and
most importantly, time freezes.
It is just her and her dream
man, she smiles and they go their
seperate ways, only for the bugger
to show up on Ngong Road trying
to flag down the City Hoppa
she is in. Of course she has her
earphones on to try and act as a
buffer between her and some dude
who wants to chat her up.
So the man of her dreams stops
the bus, gets in, pleads with some
matatu preacher foaming at the
BE FAMOUS.
daily NATION October 12, 2012
what’s up >>>
WHAT ARE
MY LONG-
TERM
GOALS?
HELP!!!
mouth to shut up and walks right
to her. He yanks off the earphones,
and proceeds to tell her how she
has changed his life in the three
seconds they shared glances
and that he is ready to leave his
wife for her. Wait, what? I knew
that would snap you out of your
fantasy.
That aside, ask around and you
will be surprised at how many
women have watched the movie
Think Like a Man, Act Like a
Lady.
Now what we have are women
walking around testing men to see
if they are marriage material. You
have women demanding that you
open doors for them, so I do not
know what those
on City Hoppas
are supposed
to do.
Woe unto you
if you ride boda
bodas.
You have
girls who
have taken on
the role of HR
managers and
are now asking
you “what are your
... SPARKS FLY,
UNICORNS BREAK
OUT FROM THEIR
MYTHOLOGICAL
STABLES, ANGELS BURST
INTO SONG, HEAVENLY
CONFETTI FALLS, TIME
FREEZES...
long-term goals?” and “where do
you see yourself in five years?”
You joke around thinking she
is bluffing and you find yourself
in a zone, the dreaded brother
zone. You see, if you want to know
where I will be in five years, I will
need to know what you are also offering
and to be honest, in many a
man’s mind at that point, they are
not thinking long-term. Just three
hours ahead — maybe.
pmwaniki@ke.nationmedia.com
TECHNO BITE
HOW MUCH DATA DOES YOUR PHONE
SERVICE PROVIDER HAVE ON YOU?
Government said it would
monitor emails through
spy systems. What does
this mean for us, wonders
HARRIET OCHARO
A GERMAN politician, Malte
Spitz, sued telecoms giant Deutsche
Telekom, seeking to retrieve
six months worth of data that
they stored on him and their
other clients. In 2006, the EU
issued the controversial Data
Retention Directive which allows
European phone companies to
store user data for between six
months to two years — including
all the nitty gritty details such
as phone numbers, addresses,
the times emails and data were
sent, as well as users’ locations.
Since then, several countries have
either rejected or declared as
unconstitutional this legislation.
In 2010, Germany’s Federal Constitutional
Court suspended the
directive, calling it “inadmissible.”
The directive does state, however,
that the content of users’ text and
voice conversations are not to be
stored.
Spitz obtained his data in CDs
mailed to him by the company
and he put it in a website that
simplifies data into a pictorial
that is easy to interpret and
interact with (also known as an
infographic). The data showed
where he had been, how many
calls he made and received, how
many text messages he sent and
received, how long he remained
connected on the Internet. In
short, it showed his patterns of
communication, the places he
had been and who he had been
in contact with.
Under the EU directive to retain
data, governments and police
agencies could request information
from mobile phone companies
to access user data, but only
via the court system. Sure the
authorities can use this information
to track down criminals, but
what do the companies do with
the rest of the data? It is literally a
gold mine for targeted advertising.
The Communications Commission
of Kenya instructed telecommunication
companies to store
data about their subscribers for
up to six months. To add to that,
all SIM cards were ordered to be
registered, meaning more information
recorded about you. The
CCK says that this information
cannot be shared with anyone
else except the authorities to the
extent permitted by the law.
Recently, the government announced
its intention to monitor
emails through spy systems set
up in collaboration with Internet
service providers. The spying is
for security purposes. The CCK
Act gives the Information minister
the power to grant a person or
organisation access to protected
computer systems. Unfortunately,
there are no explicit legal provisions
that would enable the
government to monitor emails
for security reasons while still
guaranteeing people’s privacy.
The country does not have a Data
Protection Act and this means
that our data and privacy is subject
to abuse.
If you really want your data to
stay private in this digital age,
have no phone or access to the
Internet. It seems the cost of
interconnectivity and seamless
communication is data privacy.
savvy.kenya@gmail.com
Most people do not realize it but governments have a lot more data on you than you’d be comfortable with

BE FAMOUS.
daily NATION October 12, 2012
ART OF PEOPLE-WATCHING II
FUSEBOX
The second part in the fine art of people-watching
was briefly interrupted last week by our “political
pullout”, considering Kenya will soon be plunged into an
electoral pirouette to the ballot box.
And there is thus a “fierce urgency of now”, to sponge
from Martin Luther King Jr, for Kenyan youth to show
interest in political discourse that will shape our collective
destiny.
Back to people-watching.
Kenyans, on average, are average and from average
backgrounds.
Most are differentiated by either: rich folks, good education,
natural brains, talent, or a great dollop of luck
that sees them steadily crash a stone of hope against
vegetating into a life of grinding ennui. The rest are just
details.
You will notice Kenya’s four tribes while people watching:
Old Money: They hardly know the difference between
mitumba and matumbo. Most are often understated in
manner and dress. Nothing looks new, shiny, or overtly
grand about them. But you will notice first-class quality
in the aerated Brioni blazer and hand-made Canali
shoes. How they walk or pour Chivas into a glass has a
certain unexplainable air of entitlement about it.
Kichwa ngumu children from Old Money families are
slightly rough at the edges, but that does not pare their
confidence and pedigree.
New Money: Is of two kinds. First are big time business
“hustlers” who talk in terms of “You are not in
business if you are not doing business with the govern-
ment,” they will pompously tell a small timer, who will then be toying with the keys of his first
jalopy, which he will pointlessly keep checking “for scratch marks.”
The other coin of New Money are those who went to the right schools that saw them land into
jobs with salaries reading like Kenya Power metre numbers.
New Money have sandpapered manners and a sense of “see where I am now” attitude. They
will buy a car, not for utility, but to make a statement.
Slightly below New Money are small time “hustlers,” who are halfway to hitting the jackpot “if
that deal goes through”. Most would do with etiquette classes. They are slightly loud in mouth
and dress of mostly nicely pressed mtumba “camera” clothes.
They want the world to know that they “have come from far.”
If they are wearing shorts, you will spot ma-alama-alamaa indicating that they fell while stealing
guavas from trees when they were children.
We will not discuss Kenya’s fourth tribe, which recently marked a year since the Sinai slum
went up in flames.
zolloh.j@gmail.com
jack
zollo
FRANKFOOT >> WITH FRANK MIDEGA
WHY CLASSICO WAS A BORE
Sadly, time wasting, after diving, is a mandatory
skill in football nowadays. You will be
delighted to note that Frankfoot will not do
the same to your time. We cannot guarantee
this for future columns though, nor for past
ones. Seeking to have our names alongside
the Julian Assanges and Princess Dianas of
the footballing world (coupled with a strong
subconscious drive to try and even be remotely
relevant to your life), we, as selfless
as an overweight FIFA suit checking his bank
balance after competitively awarding Qatar
the 2012 World Cup, will take our precious
time and keyboard minutes to complain about
your time wasted on Sunday night at the
Camp Nou.
The El Classico was a travesty of football.
The conspicuous lack of eye poking and red
card flashing that we have come to relate to El
Classicos is sufficient proof that the Catalans
are killing the game, alongside their allegiance
to Spain. Either that or Tito Vanilla-something
just has a rock hard magma-hot eye-ball,
meaning Mourinho did not particularly fancy
poking his eye once more.
First it was Ronaldo, then Messi, and then
Messi again before Ronaldo finished the
goals carnival. They scored in a mirror-image
style, both chronologically and in the optical
sense. When Ronaldo scored Messi reacted,
and when Messi scored Ronaldo reacted, as
your image’s left arm would, were you to raise
your right arm before the mirror. In the 2012
calendar year alone, these two now have a 100
goals street festival; and if so then Sunday at
Camp Nou was the Mardi Gras as they scored
in almost a “what you can do I can do better”
show of flamboyance.
I am curious to know how other professional
players ever drag themselves back to the pitch
and call football their career after watching
Messi and Ronaldo. What we, the fans, do not
realise is that we are truly blessed to have in
our lifetime the world’s best player and the
world’s most dynamic player ever. If you cannot
match attribute to name, I would kindly
life & sport
WHAT WOMEN WANT
Two weeks ago, I set a sort of record since
the inception of Dalliance Diary; 100 per cent
male approval for the “What men want” piece. A
good number of women agreed with me. Most
branded me a bootlicker, then challenged me to
write about what women want.
In the same article, I wrote how countless
times women have told men what they want,
but by now we know that most men are hard
of hearing, but we shall not give up. So, while I
am still popular in the male circle, here we go.
AGAIN.
Contrary to popular belief, the average
woman is simple, but she wants attention. I
appreciate the fact that men are from Mars and
women from a-yet-to-be-named planet, hence
the different views on what simple means. But
what could be so “unsimple” about “attention”?
Here is an example of attention on our planet
— when you take your woman out, attention
means looking into her eyes while talking to
her. Refrain from looking into the eyes of the
women on the next table. Women understand
that men have roving eyes (does not necessarily
translate into having roving lower body), but
you can let your roving eye have fun when your
woman goes to the washroom, not when she is
sitting opposite you. Capisce?
Lesson numero due; “Please take care of
me.” In the animal kingdom, to which all humans
belong (regardless of their planet), males
DALLIANCE DIARY
ciku
kimani
are the alphas. Taking care of your woman does not necessarily mean having millions
in the bank, (I admit the millions often come in handy), but your average woman understands
that money does not always grow on trees. Taking care of your woman includes
standing up for her when she faces challenges, being there for her when she is down. Being
her right hand, being her brain when she is too fatigued with household duties, doing
the dishes or changing the diapers when her plate is overflowing (which is usually the
case). Taking care of her means being unashamed; refusing to be taunted by your peers,
when you have to rush home to massage the feet of your heavily pregnant woman.
Women want a man who will update them on their (men’s) whereabouts without being
labelled nags. (Do I hear a protest from the men?). Now let me explain what this means
on our planet; women, by nature, worry just about anything. When she cannot get you
on the phone, she worries. When you do not answer phone messages, she worries — not
our fault; it is just the way we are. She does not necessarily think that you are somewhere
seeking comfort in another bosom (even when you are), she just wants to know that you
are well; it is a dangerous world we are living in. When your phone’s battery dies, use
your friend’s (you do know her number off head, don’t you?)
If you do not let her know you are alright, or what time you might get home, she will
sit up all night until you are safe inside the house. Why would you want your mama to
stay up all night waiting for you when a simple phone call could have sorted it out?
A woman wants a faithful man who does not go “outside the box”, then give fickle
excuses for his philandering ways. We are delicate creatures whose pride is easily hurt.
Cheating on her is the same as telling her she is no longer good enough. Here is wishing
I had more space to re-educate our men, but that is all for now, folks.
ask you to stop reading my articles and resort
to jejune sports like fencing.
There has never been a Sunday more super
than the last one. Outside the El Classico, Marseille
went head on with PSG in Ligue 1 and
Inter sprayed balls into Milan’s back four unreservedly.
It was football’s prom night across
Europe as the Sporting Lisbon versus Porto
fixture in Portugal saw a cheeky yet sublime
back heel goal from Jackson Martinez. Zlatan
Ibrahimovic is not the person you would let
baby sit your only son but he sure can bang
goals in. Two, to be precise, which lifted PSG a
slim 2-1 win over Marseille.
Meanwhile, for an organisation that has its
name spelt in French and its CEO not a
native English speaker, you would imagine
pedantry in English would be the last thing
FIFA would engage in, right? I rarely do
rhetorical questions so hold on; I have a
point here. What everyone bar Luis Suarez
and Sergio Busquets would call diving FIFA
chooses to call simulation, presumably fresh
from downloading the latest version of the
online Thesaurus. FIFA suits (and a dress)
do not see that as a problem referees and
football leagues need to address. Suarez and
Ashley Young nod so frantically to concur that
they cannot help falling over.
Finally, in Russia football is causing political
tensions as Moscow residents wonder loudly
why their tax dollars are indirectly paying
for the herculean salaries of foreign footballers.
Their thoughts were so loud a fake bomb
was sent with Hulk’s photo on it. Zenit Saint
Petersburg’s captain had these kind words for
his employers:
“I’m not against foreign players but there
should be a balance in the team. Yes, the club
13

14
TEN TIPS TO SPENDING LESS AS A STUDENT
WE EAT TO SURVIVE, NOT
FOR LEISURE. THERE ARE
MANY WAYS TO SAVE MONEY
WRITES NADIA DARWESH
ASK CINDY
There are a few things
I have learned since
beginningmy course.
First, I am no longer
a child. I have to
be accountable to
myself for every little thing I do,
starting with how hard I work at
my studies, and also my spirituality.
Next is that time is of the essence.
When sensibility escapes
me and I am at risk of straying,
I remind myself that there are
certain things I should be doing
instead of just hanging around
— like going to the library and allocating
time to do assignments.
Finally, I have learned (so far),
that money is not infinite.
Before, when I was in high school,
I never worried much about what
to buy simply because there was
no need. Understandably, my
tastes have improved considerably
in the two years after graduation.
I am a girl, I need to maintain
an image. I need supplies for
school. I need clothes and shoes
that suit the season. It has been
a tough journey thus far, learning
how to budget my weekly allowance,
but I now have a set of rules
that I am positive can help other
“hustlers” like me.
1You do not always have to
eat extravagant meals. In
this case, “extravagant”
means food which costs
more than Sh100. Eating at
the school canteen once in a
while cannot kill. The food there
may not be the best, but we eat to
survive, not for pleasure.
2On the other hand, a
treat is good once in a
while. Saving up for it,
especially when you are
feeling really broke, will
make it more worthwhile
Dear Cindy, my best friend’s father says he
is in love with me. He has been pursuing me
for the past one year, but I have not given
in because I love my friend very much. The
problem is, I am starting to have feelings for
him and I do not know whom to choose. He
is still married to my friend’s mother but he
says he would marry me as a second wife. I
am 22 years old while he is 45. What do I do?
Achieng
Run, and run very fast. I could say you are
between a rock and a hard place, but you are
not. I will say you are between a rock and an
open space, and you should use that space
take 14
when it comes. A treat can be
anything like a delicious pastry, a
pizza, or even a full meal of a different
culture such as Ethiopian
or Chinese.
3It may seem tacky to
carry packed lunch at
university, but truth be
told it is quite cheap
and practical. A small
lunch in a hot pot, a
homemade sandwich, a bottle of
water, or even a fruit can be good
and pocket-friendly, especially on
long school days.
4Fruits can also stand
as meals on their own.
A banana, apple, or
orange eaten on the go
can provide energy for
the cost of only Sh20.
cindym254@gmail.com
to run away from your friend. First of all, he
is married, and he should be ashamed of
himself for trying to cheat on his wife with
his daughter’s best friend. Always, always,
keep away from married men. Second, you
would hurt your best friend to no end if you
gave in. Friendship is based on trust, and
if she cannot trust you to keep away from
her father, then she will feel shortchanged.
Remember, if you gave in, you would have to
live with the fact that you had an affair with
your best friend’s father. What sort of friend
does that make you? Not a good one at all.
Age is also something to consider here; you
are just starting your life. At his age, he has
done most exploring that one does in their
5For students who commute,
eating at home
beats buying food out
most of the time. If time
allows, a home meal at
either breakfast, lunch,
or even supper saves a lot of
money.
6Bulk grocery shopping
for students living on
their own or in hostels
is wise. At the beginning
of each week,
stock up on rice, flour,
greens, juice, and other supplies
you know you will require during
the week. The odds are that these
supplies will last longer than a
single week. This leaves money
for buying daily eats such as milk
and bread.
7Fast food is expensive
and unhealthy. The Sh50
or Sh70 — the average
price for a plate or rather
paper bag of chips — can
be used for healthier alternatives
such as fruits and a
drink. Fast food is best eaten just
once in a while.
8Supplies such as books,
stationery, and toiletries
should be bought at the
beginning of the term,
if possible when sales
and back-to-school promotions
targeted at high school
children are on. This way, as a
university student you can make
the best of these opportunities
to save.
youth — who can tell whether he will not stop
you from enjoying your youth? All in all, kudos
for saying no to him so far, and please, keep
saying no. All the best.
Dear Cindy, I am 22-years-old and in love
with my college mate. The problem is that
she is putting me off. I know she loves me,
but she has a hard way of showing it. Please
help me because I am losing my mind.
Question: How do you know she loves you yet
she is putting you off? Excuse my language,
but you sound a little disillusioned. Perhaps
she really does not like you the way you
BE FAMOUS. daily NATION October 12, 2012
9Start a small business
doing what you like. It
can be something as
mundane as plaiting
hair to something as
exciting as emceeing.
The returns may be dismal or
great. Either way, this means
extra mulla in your pocket, which
is always welcome.
a little a
day goes a long
way. Saving Sh10
by using different
buses or matatus
10Finally,
can accumulate
to Sh100 in a week. Keep the
saved fare money separately. It
can come in handy on a hard
day.
— aspiringjournalist.wordpress.com
want her to like you, but because you are too
focused on loving her, you start imagining that
she is playing hard to get. Please respect that
she is saying no to you and pull back, and if
she is really playing hard to get, you will soon
know because she will start showing you that
she likes you as soon as you stop pursuing her.
Not everybody you like has to like you, and
you need to realise this early enough. Do not
lose your mind, nobody is worth losing your
mind for; they either like you or they do not.
All the best.
cindym254@gmail.com

MUSIC VIDEO » CAMP MULLA
ARTIST: CAMP MULLA
SONG: FEEL NO PAIN
This is Camp Mulla’s newest video. Most
would agree that we were spoilt, what
with their hit single, Party Don’t Stop
and all. The video was great, the rhyming
was tight, so when this song came
out, I sat back and smiled to myself.
The song is about dropping stress that
comes with a relationship gone wrong.
You do not have to cry about it, just call
THE MOVIE » THE EXPATRIATE
Rating: 75 per cent
Title: The Expatriate
Category: Action Thriller
Release Date: 21 September,
2012
Length: 1 hr 40 minutes
Director: Phillip Stölzl
Main Actors: Aaron Eckhart
(Ben Logan), Liana Liberato
(Amy Logan), Olga Kurylenko
(Anna Brandt), Garrick Hagon
(Jame Halgate III)
BLOG » MURUGI NJEHIA
The blogger is the second born in a family
that was steered by her mother, a
“strong, beautiful woman by the name
Veronica N. Munyua.”
Murugi, whom you can also call Angela,
is an e-commerce and marketing executive.
The aspiring author travels a lot,
especially in Kenya. This blog is indeed
about travelling, the dos, don’ts and what
« multimedia
up your boys or girls and have a good
time at the club. Only problem is that
the beat in this song sounds a lot like
the beats I have heard in their other
songs. They all have the same pauses
and bass drops. Not to take anything
away from this song, though.
The video got a lot of heat online. Personally,
I am handing them flowers. It is
one of the best videos we have on our
scene today, and here is why:
This is yet another CIA conspiracy
movie. Aaron Eckhart is
the star in this action suspense
flick acting as Ben Logan, an
expatriate who has been set
up to do some dirty work for a
weapons dealing corporation.
He is forced to bring his teenage
daughter, Amy, into the
mess that erupts after he learns
that he has been marked for extermination.
Aaron is not known
for taking on many lead action
THE GAMER » FIFA 13
End of September means the
start of a new gaming year. Releases
having been coming fast
and furious. This week, we take
a look at a mini-god in the gaming
world, FIFA. It is perhaps EA
Sports pride and joy in terms
of their most awaited release
every fall since 1998. This year,
there will be two versions of
this game; the usual game and
the Kinect version, which I will
nots-for women — including the trendy
gadgets to carry and lifestyle while travelling
in Kenya.
Log on to muruginjehia.blogspot.com
— it was nominated and won in the
General Category of the 2012 Kenya Best
Blog Awards
A new track from CAMP MULLA, nostalgia with SINBAD,
a SAFEHOUSE look-alike with THE EXPATRIATE and
loads of football gaming fun with FIFA 13
Many people do not seem to understand
what they were trying to do with
the retro semi-coloured vibe. They are a
kick-back, ’90s influenced band, hence
the 2Pac portrait in this video. Karungari
is an amazing singer; you can see
the whole Aaliyah mantra going on with
the voice, her hair, straight down to her
dress code. Taio, Shappa, and Cous have
a nice modern flow but need to work on
a little more complexity.
THE DVD » SINBAD
Category: Adventure
Episode length: 45 minutes
Seasons: 1
Episodes: 12
Director: Brian Grant, Colin Teague,
and Andy wilson
Main Actors: Elliot Knight (Sinbad),
Dimitri Leonidas (Anwar), Marama
Corlett (Rina), Elliot Cowan (Gunnar),
Junix Inocian (Cook), Estella
Daniels (Nala)
Airs on M-Net on Tuesday at
8.30pm.
roles, but he definitely proves
that he is the man for the job in
this one.
The movie is a lot like Safehouse,
released earlier this
year. In both movies the lead
character is an expatriate, there
is a confidential CIA document
stolen which ultimately becomes
the central driving factor.
Also, there is rat working within
the CIA.
BE FAMOUS. daily NATION October 12, 2012
elaborate.
FIFA 13 was no different. EA
continues to improve on was
what already was a good foundation
laid by its predecessors.
The player engines are better,
you feel the tackles and fouls,
the shirt pulling is now a feature
(but you gotta be smart about
it or else get booked), free kicks
now have the tactial training
ground approaches based on
For those who watched KBC back
in the nineties, this series might
bring back some awesome memories.
Sinbad is the legendary tale of
a Persian sailor, bound to a life of
adventure in the Arabian Sea. The
series start off with Sinbad as a
cunning street fighter and gambler
who is full of machismo and feels
entitled to be in the limelight. His
carefree attitude is also hard to
put down. Sinbad is always putting
The action sequences are amazing
and the nail biting suspense
just as riveting. Fifteen minutes
in and one can already feel the
pressure mounting for Logan.
This, of course, sets in the action.
The father-daughter drama
is intense and chaotic. Most
of the time, Logan’s daughter
appears to be the victim of his
bad parenting, yet at the same
time, Logan depicts the image
of a good man by saving his
Excerpts:
“Lately I have been going through some
very interesting life events. Things have
been changing from this to that at times
even without my knowledge. I must say
the changes have really toiled with my
emotions. I cannot remember a time I
have been this hopeful yet this full of despair,
nor can I recall a time I have cried
The video is well edited. They are in the
club having fun. The video vixens are
stunning. The picture quality is clear
and precise. You can see the colours but
still enjoy the lack of it.
Verdict: They set the bar high for Kenyan
artistes. They have maintained their
style. You will not feel let down if you
are into retro.
— ISSA KHALID
user preference. Game modes
are more or less the same but
online play is much more efficient.
Going onto Xbox Live
or PS World and winning duels
gets you ranked top of the table
and who would not want to be
the best in the world? The Artificial
Intelligence (AI) levels are
amazing. Player runs are creative,
not haphazard diagonals
into oblivion.
himself in danger just to feel the
rush and to bask in the glory of
victory against death. Cursed by
his own grandmother to navigate
the seven seas for the rest of his
life, he jumps aboard a ship to flee
the mainland and escape the wrath
of the curse. But a fierce mystical
sea creature attacks the ship, killing
all the crew members except
Sinbad and a few odd passengers.
Sinbad and the passengers
daughter’s life over and over.
He pulls off gallant stunts that
ensure their survival when all
of Belgium is after them. The
sharp conflict between these
two characters makes for an
edgy watch.
— SAM KIRANGA
so much yet laughed as much…”
On traveling while pregnant
On to Kinect now. The user can
interact via the headset directly
with the team they are controlling
and command their players
to make runs, take a pass, a
shot; it is simply unreal how
much technology was put into
this. Perhaps why Gamespot
gave it an 8.5. You can now
make substitutions and change
formations all through voice
command and instantly play-
•Please note that after 36 weeks many
doctors and airlines restrict women from
flying.”
•Restrict your travel time to blocks of no
longer than five to six hours.
continue, the perils that lie ahead
unknown to them. The subsequent
episodes take us through the fortunes
and mishaps they encounter
on different islands.
The series is a little bit slow in the
beginning and the script comes
across as rather unoriginal. One
would expect a little more intensity
in the dialogue. Apart from this,
the episodes are based on well
structured themes. Like most other
epic tales, each episode carries a
moral —SAM KIRANGA
ers shift to new positions and
gameplay changes entirely.
In a nutshell; it is on another
level. It really is something. I
foresee a lot of households falling
apart over the affections
displayed towards this game.
— ISSA KHALID
•If you are travelling long distances
be sure to get a copy of your prenatal
records.
•If you are travelling to a foreign country,
take caution when eating fruits and vegetables,
milk, water, and meat as traveller’s
diarrhoea is common and could lead
to dehydration.
15

16 BE FAMOUS. daily NATION October 12, 2012