Disgruntled customers of O'Donnell's Irish pub, on ... - The Sentinel

Issue 1, 23 October 2007
The Sentinel
Integrity, heart, humour
Page 3 OPINION
• Perspectives
• On the box
Back page
FANTASY FOOTBALL
FOCUS
TURMOIL
<strong>Disgruntled</strong> <strong>customers</strong> <strong>of</strong> O’Donnell’s <strong>Irish</strong> <strong>pub</strong>, on Heinekenplein, are voting
with their feet, as customer relations reach an all-time low

The glass is half empty
Customer relations at O’Donnell’s <strong>Irish</strong> <strong>pub</strong> have deteriorated to such an extent that long-term
patrons are turning their back on the establishment.
Disputes about the football matches
shown and the screens they are shown
on have long been a source <strong>of</strong> irritation
to O’Donnell’s <strong>customers</strong>, and
have led to semi-<strong>of</strong>ficial boycotts <strong>of</strong>
the <strong>pub</strong> in the past. Customer numbers
at the kitchen corner <strong>of</strong> the bar
have been dwindling gradually over the
past few years, and recent incidents
have brought the matter to a head.
Recent developments
On Tuesday, 2 October, for example, a
group <strong>of</strong> around 10 <strong>customers</strong> were
seated at their regular corner <strong>of</strong> the
bar, looking forward to watching one
<strong>of</strong> the two Champions League matches
featuring English clubs that evening.
Instead <strong>of</strong> showing the game on their
preferred screen in the front bar,
however, landlord Seamus Dougherty
consigned them to watching the smallest
screen in the <strong>pub</strong>, hidden around the
corner at the back.
His reasoning is that casual, passer-by
<strong>customers</strong>, perhaps wishing to order
meals, are put <strong>of</strong>f by football being shown
in the front bar, although there is little
evidence to back up this claim. In any
case, the matches were scheduled to
begin at 8.45pm. How many meal orders
did Mr. Dougherty expect to take before
the kitchen closed at 10.00pm? It appears
that Mr. Dougherty would rather irritate
paying <strong>customers</strong>, than risk missing out
on an order, or two.
THATCH IN DA HOUSE
AFTER
MUCH THOUGHT,
I’VE DECIDED TO SHOW A
MATCH IN THE
FRONT BAR.
EDITORIAL
Raised voices
Later that same evening, Mr. Dougherty
launched an unnecessary tirade against
regular customer, Denson Pierre. His
crime? Talking too loud. “I was talking
with some friends, none <strong>of</strong> whom had
any problem with the volume <strong>of</strong> my
speech, when Seamus stormed the length
<strong>of</strong> the bar to confront me,” Mr. Pierre relates.
“He proceeded to mimic my speech
while chastising me like a schoolboy. We
managed to stifle our indignation, for
fear <strong>of</strong> escalation, but is this really how a
landlord should treat a loyal customer <strong>of</strong>
over a decade’s standing?”
Thursday disappointments
In addition, Mr. Dougherty has long
MANSFIELD VS.
NOTTS COUNTY?
insisted that Thursday evenings be a
football-free
zone in O’Donnell’s, which
has been a continuing source <strong>of</strong> disappointment
to <strong>customers</strong> wishing to
watch English clubs in the UEFA Cup.
Recently, however, Mr. Dougherty
has taken to showing Ajax games on
Thursday evenings, until they were
eliminated from the competition. It
seems there is one rule for regular,
money-spending <strong>customers</strong>, and
another for occasional, c<strong>of</strong>fee-drinking
Ajax supporters.
What’s next?
A <strong>pub</strong> should be a place <strong>of</strong> enjoyment,
where people can gather and entertain
each other over a few drinks. Over
time, regular <strong>customers</strong> should be afforded
a few extra privileges, in appreciation
<strong>of</strong> their custom. Is being able to
watch a football match on the screen <strong>of</strong>
their choice too much to ask? Apparently,
in O’Donnell’s, it is.
The Sentinel calls upon Mr. Dougherty
to recognise and reward the loyalty his
<strong>customers</strong> have shown his establishment
over the years, by having the flexibility
to show matches on the screen <strong>of</strong> their
choice.
Damage has been done to customer
relations, but it is not too late to repair
that damage. If Mr. Dougherty values his
<strong>customers</strong> at all, he will reconsider his
position. If he does not, the glass, like the
<strong>pub</strong>, will remain half empty.
MY HAIRY
BLACK ARSE!
RIGHT,
EVERYONE OUT!

Perspectives
On life below sea level
Name: Kim Chandler
Nationality: Canadian
Pr<strong>of</strong>ession: Writer/Broadcaster/Performer
How long have you now been living in NL (Amsterdam)
and why did you choose to live here in
the first place?
I have lived in Amsterdam for seven years.
I came here pretty much on a whim, from
On the box
Improv: it may be clever, but it ain’t funny
Has anyone seen
the Comedy Central
News (CCN)
on the Comedy
Central channel?
It’s awful! Fronted
by Boom Chicago’s
Greg Shapiro,
whose name
seems to be everywhere
at the
moment, it takes
a ‘light-hearted’
American view on
the Dutch news. Shapiro’s delivery is in Ed Winchester style (condescending,
for those unfamiliar with The Fast Show), interspersed
with exaggeratedly pronounced Dutch words and phrases, over an
almost constant laugh track. The odd mini-sketch is occasionally
thrown in to illustrate an item, and they send a woman called Lauren
Flans out onto the street to ask members <strong>of</strong> the <strong>pub</strong>lic inane
questions, shout and generally be annoying.
Colophon
OPINION
London. I had met an elderly Dutch couple
while I was on holiday, in Turkey. They suggested
that the Netherlands might be a
‘good fit’ for me and that I should come
over and try it. I did, it was, I moved.
How different has the experience been, so far,
compared to what you expected?
I really had no expectations, so it was impossible
to be disappointed. On the day I
arrived I looked up and asked the city to ‘tell
me’ that day whether it liked me or not. I
had a great day, the city liked me. It has continued
to. I am still amazed that I have been
able to do so much in a country where I do
not speak the national language!
Do you think your choice <strong>of</strong> staying here has improved
your personal circumstances, compared
to what you could have been doing elsewhere?
It’s apples and oranges. I’ve accomplished
things here that amaze me; such as becoming
the Chapter Leader <strong>of</strong> the Room to
Read NL charity, hosting the English Breakfast
radio show and becoming the Arts and
Culture Editor <strong>of</strong> a national newspaper; but
who knows what other adventures I would
have had, had I gone somewhere else. I can
say that I have absolutely no regrets about
staying.
Now that you have done it and keep doing it do
you think you could easily live anywhere else? If
The Sentinel
Editor - Gary Rudland; Contributors - Denson Pierre, Colin Bentley
Design & Realisation - De Eenzame Cowboys
so where would you consider?
Though things have changed, I still am treated
like an adult who can make decisions for
herself – for the most part – in this country.
I am now a committed European, as well, so
it would be difficult for me, in many ways,
to leave Europe. Though it must be said, the
weather here makes it a bit easier to envisage
leaving the land <strong>of</strong> the ‘tall taal’. I love
living in Europe where, much more so than
in many other regions, the governments are
scared <strong>of</strong> the people rather than the people
being scared <strong>of</strong> the government. All that said,
I long for warmer climes. And frankly, its just
not as chilled here as it used to be – and
I’m a relative newcomer! The construction
noise and hassle is ridiculous, prices are rising
steadily, and the weather blows! Despite
their untimely exit from the Rugby World
Cup, New Zealand has been ‘calling me’ for
a while; but, you never know with me!
What advice, if any, do you wish to pass on to
those who are new to Amsterdam or considering
making their stay here more permanent?
I would suggest, don’t be like me – learn the
language! Get yourself a good accountant,
hang out with an equal number <strong>of</strong> cloggers
and expats, find a ‘local’, wear layers, and
leave your preconceptions and your idiocies
<strong>of</strong> bigotry at home!
I believe it is a daily programme, which inevitably means that it
is one step removed from improvisation, or ‘improv’, to give it its
showbiz name. I’ve never been to Boom Chicago, precisely because
I hate improv. If you can’t come up with decent sketches and jokes
when you have all day, and possibly weeks, to write and rehearse,
what chance do you stand <strong>of</strong> consistently coming up with anything
funny on the spur <strong>of</strong> the moment? None, in my experience.
I will admit that there is a uniqueness factor to improv: no two
performances are ever the same, or so we are led to believe. Since
very few people ever attend consecutive performances, however,
I wonder just how original the material is. I suspect that, instead
<strong>of</strong> originality, improv actually tends to produce clichés, drawing on
a set <strong>of</strong> pre-conceived and tried one-liners that can be adapted
to various situations and are known to raise a titter - which goes
against the whole concept <strong>of</strong> improvisation.
I will also concede that improv does involve a level <strong>of</strong> mental and
verbal dexterity that is far beyond most <strong>of</strong> us. It is clever, but being
clever does not always equate with being funny. Even when it does
work, improv in general, and CCN in particular, suffers from the
blight <strong>of</strong> all its practitioners: smugness.
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Sentinel SPORT
Fantasy Football
The Contenders
It has been a miserable week for English
sport. The England football team snatched
defeat from the jaws <strong>of</strong> victory in Moscow
and now have only an outside chance <strong>of</strong>
qualifying for Euro 2008. The England rugby
team remarkably made it to the World
Cup final, but were again second best to a
fine South African team. And Lewis Hamilton
missed out on the Formula 1 Championship
by a single point.
None <strong>of</strong> this will have affected Eddy, however,
whose beloved Manchester United
trounced Aston Villa 4-1 at Villa Park. Eddy
was a revelation in his rookie FFL season,
finishing second in the league and top <strong>of</strong>
the FFL Gold league, netting him a massive
€ 650 in prize money.
This season, his Nuff Said team has just
taken over the top spot, proving that last
season was no flash in the pan. Heading
into this week’s European fixtures, his
The Gold Room
Denson Pierre summarises the latest
developments in the 5% Fantasy
Football Gold (FFG) competition.
The pressures <strong>of</strong> writing in the throbbing
financial centre <strong>of</strong> the South African economy,
over the drone <strong>of</strong> a police helicopter
hovering outside in search <strong>of</strong> criminals, is
nothing compared to the sense <strong>of</strong> emergency
experienced by FFG managers over
the past weekend. This provided a reality
check for most managers, as the low scoring
highlighted many competitors’ predictably
flawed tactics, following an apparently
spectacular start.
Gijs Smeets’ scoring power has been
slightly reduced and it seems that Torres
will be key to his chances <strong>of</strong> leading us into
the New Year. At a green and healthy score
<strong>of</strong> 450 points, however, Taylor’s Hill have
actually managed to maintain strong lead.
Simon Owusu’s 389 points is a good tally
but to arrive at this point, Ashley’s Young
Ones have succumbed to a fantasy foot-
team is as follows: Cech (Chelsea - £5.5m);
Lescott (Everton - £4.0m); Riise (Liverpool
- £3.0m); Evra (Manchester United -
£3.0m); Dunne (Manchester City - £4.5m);
Rosicky (Arsenal - £4.5m); Fabregas
ball form <strong>of</strong> early onset senile dementia.
Mr Owusu has only two substitutions remaining
at this extremely early stage <strong>of</strong> the
season and can safely be ruled out <strong>of</strong> the
running for the elite prize in May 2008.
Patrick Rogers and his Durty Deeds
Done Dirt Cheap squad have endured a
slap in the face, having shown good consistency
up to this point. The only reason they
have maintained position is that the teams
immediately below them recorded equally
abysmal scores. With 329 points, however,
he is by no means Done.
Robbie Carter and his Stephen Hawkins’
Football Boots managed to power
their wheelchair up the table, despite a
poor scoring week, which says more about
the teams behind them than their own
prowess. Richie Hilton’s clinically obese
Get The Pies In Wanderers also suffered
from a shockingly low score: just 14
points over the entire weekend, bringing
his total to 308. With Gallas’ return and a
(Arsenal - £5.5m); Joe Cole (Chelsea -
£4.0m); Torres (Liverpool - £5.5m); Tevez
(Manchester United - £5.0m); Keane (Tottenham
- £5.0m).
It is a very balanced team, with no highpriced
superstars and only one player not
included in the European fixtures. Eddy
has chosen high-flying Manchester City’s
captain, David Dunne, over the more popular
and less expensive Micah Richards.
Time will tell whether City can maintain
their current form. John Arne Riise, Joe
Cole, Fernando Torres and possibly Tomas
Rosicky could occasionally fall foul <strong>of</strong> rotation
policies, but the rest <strong>of</strong> his team are
almost certain starters, provided they remain
injury free.
Eddy has so far used only two <strong>of</strong> his 12
subs for the season and his best buys include
Lescott (63 points), Fabregas (94),
Torres (72) and Keane (76).
fistful <strong>of</strong> substitutions at his disposal, however,
Richie can look forward to deploying
advanced tactics in the New Year.
Eddy Mernagh has maybe had ‘Nuff Said
to him about simple Man U mania not being
enough to repeat the glory <strong>of</strong> last season.
Perhaps new tactics are called for, as
a tally <strong>of</strong> just 11 points over the weekend
has reduced his fellow competitors’ sense
<strong>of</strong> concern, for the time being. Points total
299.
Trinidad & Tobago managed a respectable
score for the first time over the weekend,
with Denson Pierre’s tactical substitutions
providing the necessary boost. These
should keep the Tropicals competitive in
the final third <strong>of</strong> the season, even if they
are currently wallowing on 290 points.
James Churchill has not yet rallied his
Winston’s Warriors to meet the threat
<strong>of</strong> the teams above him. They sit on a score
<strong>of</strong> absolute 0 points and remain firm favourites
for the wooden spoon.