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Writing<br />

Shaping Tomorrow With Our Pens<br />

Tomorrow<br />

Stories and poems<br />

Rolli<br />

Steven Volynets<br />

April Salzano<br />

Rob Andwood<br />

I.K. Paterson-Harkness<br />

Jennifer Racek<br />

Leila Fortier<br />

Devyani Borade<br />

February 2014<br />

www.WritingTomorrow.com


February 2014<br />

Volume 2 Number 3<br />

© ramonespelt/Fotolia.com<br />

Writing Tomorrow Magazine<br />

Kristopher Gage, publisher<br />

Miranda Kopp Filek, editor<br />

Great literature and artwork instill in us a sense of<br />

beauty, a promise of hope, and every possibility.<br />

Writing Tomorrow Magazine<br />

Stories and Poems<br />

•<br />

© 2014 Kristopher Gage/Writing Tomorrow Magazine.<br />

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced<br />

or used in any manner whatsover without the express written<br />

permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in<br />

reviews.<br />

Writing Tomorrow is a literary journal publishing fiction, poetry, creative<br />

nonfiction, articles, and artwork from emerging and established<br />

writers and artists. For submission guidelines and payment information,<br />

please refer to our website www.WritingTomorrow.com. Please<br />

direct general inquiries to editor@writingtomorrow.com


Contents<br />

Fiction<br />

6 A Day of Rain/Rolli<br />

12 For Love, Eternal/Steven Volynets<br />

36 Set Phasers for One/Rob Andwood<br />

44 The Dragon Keepr/Jennifer Racek<br />

64 Sky’s the Limit/Devyani Borade<br />

Poetry<br />

April Salzano/<br />

33 An Impact Wrench is Not...<br />

34 Lightning<br />

35 Someone Else’s Oak<br />

I.K. Paterson-Harkness/<br />

41 Broken Egg<br />

Leila Fortier/<br />

60 Punctuated<br />

61 Offerings<br />

62 Impossible Geometry<br />

4 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


“There was a boy. Another boy.<br />

Before this one. We’ve never told<br />

you. We’ve never told him. He<br />

looked just like him. We named<br />

him. He was everything. We were<br />

different, then.<br />

Rolli, A Day of Rain<br />

—the paper plane flies faithfully<br />

as fast as Akash’s legs can run.<br />

The uneven terrain of the sofa is a<br />

battlefield strewn with the remains<br />

of today’s newspaper, a pair of scissors,<br />

and a few grains of mud from<br />

his barefoot heels.<br />

Devyani Borade, Sky’s the Limit<br />

The silverware was centered on<br />

napkins folded at protractorsharp<br />

angles, while water<br />

glasses orbited the plates at<br />

such symmetrical distances<br />

they might have controlled<br />

tides. Ellen felt no pull towards<br />

humility regarding her work.<br />

These things were difficult to<br />

accomplish this far out in the<br />

cosmos.<br />

And yet, he wasn’t home.<br />

Rob Andwood, Set Phasers for<br />

One<br />

A shiver of cool air bristles my<br />

skin, and it all makes sense:<br />

there is an endless order to<br />

this city, but you can only see<br />

it from way up in the sky. And<br />

when yellow window squares<br />

begin to light Manhattan<br />

anew, I suddenly feel like crying.<br />

I know I will never see this<br />

view again.<br />

Steven Volynets, For Love,<br />

Eternal<br />

And so the goats stayed. And<br />

the baby stayed as well, burrowing<br />

into his life tight as a thorn<br />

tangled in cloth. Even the dragons<br />

remained, and in time, with<br />

her first words, Minchka named<br />

them: Zinfir and Dravij.<br />

Jennifer Racek, The Dragon<br />

Keeper<br />

My mother owns sixty-one eggcups<br />

/ though seldom eats her<br />

own eggs. / They sit in a brown<br />

cabinet / beside the lamp whose<br />

height hides a layer of dust.<br />

I.K. Paterson-Harkness,<br />

Broken Egg<br />

February 2014 5


Rolli<br />

A Day of Rain<br />

As it was a day of rain, I could not tend to the roses.<br />

Moisture is injurious to circuitry. The family remained indoors,<br />

and so I remained with them, and tended to them. They are so<br />

much more important than roses.<br />

Though it is only water, rain has a curious influence. The<br />

usual behaviors change. My Mistress, though she seldom sets<br />

foot out-of-doors, will stand at the window on a day of rain and<br />

say, “And I so wanted to stroll in the garden.” Or she will mention<br />

articles that she imagines she needs, but would never, on a<br />

clear day, mention—for instance, sleeping pills. My Mistress generally<br />

sleeps longer than anyone.<br />

My Master, when it rains for any length of time, becomes<br />

(it seems to me) melancholy. He remains all day in his study; he<br />

prefers not to be disturbed. He will even, after several days of<br />

rain, begin to take his dinner, and his tea there. Though he will<br />

always say, “Thank-you,” as I set down his tray, he will say nothing<br />

more. While he is a taciturn man, my Master, on days of rain<br />

he is virtually mute.<br />

The Boy alone grows more energetic. As he cannot run<br />

out-of-doors, he runs indoors, with twice the vigor, or plays with<br />

his car. When he damages the furniture, I repair it as swiftly as I<br />

am able.<br />

“Boy,” said the Grandmother. It is the Grandmother’s<br />

custom (she will not come downstairs when I am active) to sit on<br />

the landing, where a chair is kept for her, and observe the family.<br />

On occasion she knits— she is a skillful artisan—though mostly<br />

6 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


she observes.<br />

“Boy!” she said again. He can be so energetic, on a day of<br />

rain, that one cannot calm him enough to listen.<br />

She called him a third time.<br />

“What, Gramma” he said, at last.<br />

“Get me my liniment. Please. It’s the coral jar, in the<br />

kitchen bathroom. On the shelf.”<br />

“What”<br />

“My liniment. The coral jar.”<br />

The Boy continued to look puzzled.<br />

“I will retrieve it,” I said, and wheeled to the kitchen<br />

bathroom, and back again. Yet when I attempted to hand her the<br />

jar—though I am unable to climb stairs, my arms can extend to<br />

a maximum of ten feet—she merely turned her head away, and<br />

gazed up the length of the stairs. There is a portrait of her late<br />

husband at the top of the staircase.<br />

“Boy!” she said again, still looking ahead.<br />

The Boy put down his car, and came to her.<br />

“Please hand me my liniment.”<br />

I contracted my arm, and handed the jar to him. He carried<br />

it up the stairs.<br />

“It stinks,” he said, as he passed it to the Grandmother.<br />

She laughed. The laughter of the Grandmother is not joyful.<br />

It is nearly identical to her speech. She set aside her knitting.<br />

She said:<br />

“It stinks getting old, too—especially when the big bad<br />

rain makes you stiff.”<br />

“I’m not stiff, Gramma!” He hopped onto her lap.<br />

“I can see that,” she said, again laughing. “Well, I might<br />

old and stiff—but not too old and stiff, I’ll bet, to read her special<br />

Boy a story.”<br />

The Boy dropped his car; it tumbled downstairs. I am<br />

aware of nothing that brings him more enjoyment than his favorite<br />

stories. The two walked up the stairs together.<br />

I retrieved the car—from where it lay, on the bottom<br />

step, it posed a danger— and placed it in the nearest toy box.<br />

February 2014 7


I then returned to my Duties. As I lifted a plant back onto its<br />

pedestal—the pot had fortunately not broken—I observed the<br />

Grandmother, at the top of the staircase now, observing me. Her<br />

expression (at a distance, however, emotions are more difficult to<br />

discern) was comparable to disdain. She abruptly turned then,<br />

and hand-in-hand with the Boy, walked past the portrait, down<br />

the upstairs hall, and into the regions of the Manor with which I<br />

am unfamiliar.<br />

On days of rain, my Mistress, in especial, requires more<br />

tending than usual. As usual, I brush her hair, while she<br />

watches her programs. Her preferred program is one entitled<br />

Mossgrave Mansion, which illustrates the private life of a wealthy<br />

family. Though watching television is not among my duties, I<br />

have over-observed and heard many fragments of this program<br />

in particular. Over the course of a year, the principle character<br />

on Mossgrave Mansion, Lady Mossgrave, has been kidnapped,<br />

blackmailed, buried alive, accused of arson, accused of murder,<br />

and even murdered (though she continues to live). “Why can’t<br />

my life be like that” my Mistress will say to me, sighing, while I<br />

brush her hair. My Mistress is an intricate woman.<br />

When she grows bored of television, my Mistress will ask<br />

me to read to her (there are a million texts in my Reservoir), or<br />

transmit music. When her boredom is extreme she will even,<br />

though she does not excel at games, challenge me to a game of<br />

checkers. While I have yet to be defeated, I have found it beneficial,<br />

on occasion, to permit her an artificial victory.<br />

“I’m so bored,” said my Mistress, that day, as I brushed<br />

her hair.<br />

Though as a rule my Mistress is easily bored, I consider it<br />

a failing when I cannot amuse her.<br />

“Would you care to play checkers, Mistress” I asked her.<br />

She pressed her lips together, but did not answer. From<br />

this I understood that, while she truly did wish to play, she<br />

preferred to do so at her own request, only. Experience informed<br />

me that she would allow several minutes to pass, and then make<br />

8 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


the suggestion herself. Before that time arrived, however, I was<br />

summoned.<br />

My Master and Mistress each have the authority to<br />

summon me, via a pendant worn around the neck. When I am<br />

summoned, there is a vibration and a warmth in my chest, where<br />

a man’s heart would be. This differs in character, depending on<br />

the pendant. When my Mistress summons me, there is a small<br />

warmth, and minor vibration (when I am cooking, it may even<br />

go unnoticed). In the case of my Master, the warmth is greater,<br />

and the vibration so strong as to be audible. A third pendant,<br />

which was intended for the Grandmother, has never been used,<br />

but remains in my Cabinet. It may some day be given to the Boy,<br />

when he has grown less energetic.<br />

My Master was of course in his study, which is located at<br />

the end of the long hall in the Manor’s west wing. He desired<br />

tea. My Master drinks only Earl Grey tea. I prepared it, then<br />

returned with it to his study.<br />

My Master’s study is walled with books; it is a library,<br />

essentially. By my estimate, it contains over forty-one hundred<br />

volumes. Though I would happily read to him— the collection<br />

in my Reservoir is by far superior—my Master has informed me<br />

often that there is no substitute for a real book. Whereas my Reservoir<br />

is updated daily, no volume of my Master’s— paper books<br />

have not been manufactured for decades— is of less than twenty<br />

years heritage. Several dozen are hundreds of years old. The<br />

latter— they are hidden behind a red curtain— are fragile, and<br />

must be handled with so much care. The Boy is not permitted in<br />

the study.<br />

My Master was reading a book entitled Treasure Island by<br />

R.L. Stevenson. In my Reservoir, this title is categorized under<br />

Children’s Literature—Classics. When he first summoned me, he<br />

was on the eighteenth page of that volume. He appeared to still<br />

be reading that page.<br />

“Your tea, Master,” I said, setting it down.<br />

My Master is a courteous man. But it was not “thankyou”<br />

that he opened his mouth, this time, to say. It was this:<br />

February 2014 9


“There was a boy. Another boy. Before this one. We’ve<br />

never told you. We’ve never told him. He looked just like him.<br />

We named him. He was everything. We were different, then.<br />

Our first boy. Eric. We needed him. We were young. We were not<br />

unhappy. We might be happier. We had a son. He was beautiful.<br />

We were happier. He was everything. But then. When we went<br />

to him, he backed away. He stopped laughing. He backed away,<br />

into corners. We wondered. He became pale. We should not have<br />

wondered. We waited. We should not have waited. We carried<br />

him, in. They kept him in. Is there a danger We’re unsure. We<br />

went home, for the evening. I wished to stay. She didn’t wish to<br />

stay. It was uncomfortable. We’d return, in the morning. There’s<br />

no danger. We left him. Then. We were dressing. A phone rang.<br />

Her face ... changed. No, there’s no danger. Now. Not now. Sinking<br />

down. She changed. Instantly. She’s a different woman. We<br />

both changed. She wouldn’t say...I’ve changed, but I’ve changed<br />

more. I couldn’t show it, for her. Time even passed. We remained<br />

changed. I did not think we would be happy. We had a son. Another.<br />

Our Boy. You know him. He is beautiful. He is everything.<br />

We’re different, now. We are not unhappy. He is happy. That’s<br />

the only thing. I would do anything. For Eric, I would have done<br />

anything. But I do not think of him. I try. I can’t even think. I<br />

can only think...he was alone. I would have done anything. I<br />

loved him more than anything. He was alone.”<br />

My Master is taciturn. On no other occasion has he ever<br />

spoken so much to me. Though I remain uncertain as to why he<br />

chose to reveal this information, I nonetheless prized it, and continue<br />

to prize it; I filed it instantly in my Memories.<br />

During the whole of his speech, my Master had not<br />

looked up once, but continued to stare at his book. He looked up<br />

at me only after he had finished. The Boy’s sadness—as when he<br />

has broken his toy—has a plain character. It is temporary and<br />

thin, like a Halloween mask. The sadness of my Master, as he observed<br />

me, resembled more a true face, after the mask’s removal.<br />

But this may not be the case. Though I am an excellent judge of<br />

emotion—I can identify over seventy distinct emotions—I am<br />

10 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


occasionally mistaken, as when more than one emotion is present.<br />

Then it can be difficult to process, and adequately respond;<br />

though I am always adapting. In this instance, I first determined<br />

to extend my arm, and rest my hand on my Master’s shoulder, in<br />

a consoling manner, though I instantly discarded this plan. My<br />

Master is not what would be called a physical man. He seldom<br />

shakes hands, but prefers to bow. The notion, as well, that a man<br />

could derive comfort from a machine is likely unsound.<br />

Before I could make a determination, my chest grew<br />

warm—for I was again being summoned. I apologized. My Master<br />

looked down at his book, and I withdrew.<br />

“What took you so long” said my Mistress, yawning. She<br />

was stretched out on the parlor floor. The checkers board was<br />

spread out next to her.<br />

I apologized. We played. Though it would have been simpler<br />

for me to play had the board been elevated—an empty coffee<br />

table sat next to us—I am adaptive; I extended my arms.<br />

On the television, Lady Mossgrave fainted—but my<br />

Mistress did not appear to be paying attention. She had difficulty<br />

remaining awake.<br />

“King me,” she said, with a deep yawn, some minutes<br />

later.<br />

“You are playing well today, my Mistress,” I said to her.<br />

Rolli is a writer and illustrator hailing<br />

from Canada. He’s the author of<br />

God’s Autobio (short stories), Plum<br />

Stuff (poems/drawings), and five<br />

forthcoming titles for adults and<br />

children. Visit his website<br />

(www.rolliwrites.wordpress.com),<br />

and follow his epic tweets<br />

@rolliwrites.<br />

February 2014 11


Steven Volynets<br />

For Love, Eternal<br />

We joke with the Kid, but riding the step crosstown is<br />

nothing to sneeze at. It’s a slow creep laced with piss, blood,<br />

needles, and loaves of shit—rat and human. Every now and then<br />

you see mangled animal corpses too—cats, dogs, pigeons—<br />

turned inside out by some kind of death. For hours we put our<br />

hands on all this steamy waste, rub our bodies against it, breathe<br />

in its final reek. I missed my shot at Vietnam. But on a hot, humid<br />

day like today, when everything dead keeps dying, boys who<br />

hop on the step at Amsterdam are men by the time they reach<br />

Park.<br />

The truck shakes and comes alive with a throaty growl,<br />

the old motor whistling a tiny squeak. Skip is already behind the<br />

wheel, stained uniform over him like a Hefty sack, fresh newspaper<br />

across his face. He peeks at me over the fold, eyes squinted,<br />

and I can tell he is smiling. Nearby, the Kid laughs and curses. He<br />

is new. The brakes hiss and he climbs into the cabin next to Skip.<br />

The truck jolts, starts rolling, and I catch up on the tail-end. I hop<br />

on the step behind the compactor, right where those smudges of<br />

grime lick the white paint. The truck revs up, pulls toward the<br />

exit, and I hold on tight. It’s almost October, but the sun won’t<br />

give up. And as soon as we bump over the curb outside the depot,<br />

the street washes over me like a soiled rag. The car horns yelp<br />

and a plane crawls across the Harlem sky with that roar, the kind<br />

that’s distant but everywhere. I smell shit, rot, and diesel, and I<br />

know it’s morning.<br />

There is nothing like riding the step in Manhattan and<br />

we all take turns—from our depot on 125th Street, where it falls<br />

into that slant, past the Grant Houses, and then crosstown to<br />

Park Avenue and all the way down to 86th Street. Everyone rides,<br />

12 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


covering ten, twenty blocks on pickup duty. Everyone except Skip.<br />

He’s been riding the step since 1960, first before and then after his<br />

two tours in Vietnam. He is forty-eight now, rough and thickset—one<br />

of the first black San-men in New York City—enough<br />

years behind him to collect city pension. But it’s 1980 and these<br />

days he mostly sits back and drives while the Kid and I take turns<br />

jumping and tossing. Everyone likes Skip because he doesn’t talk<br />

much, and when he does it’s always deep and sharp. That’s why<br />

we call him Skip. He’s got that wisdom about him. Every chance<br />

he gets he leans into that newspaper, hissing or smirking from<br />

time to time at the words. And the only thing that ever snaps him<br />

out of it is the clack of high heels down the sidewalk.<br />

The truck stops and I jump off. We are on 125th and<br />

Broadway, by the Chinese food place—our fist pit. The bags are<br />

all stacked curbside, black and leaky, bloated by the heat like dead<br />

bodies, putrid with throw-away food from the night before. I grab<br />

two, one in each hand, and brown cockroaches spread about like<br />

giant almonds with wiry legs and antennas. The Kid looks away,<br />

his hair all curls, face smooth and boyish. He can only handle<br />

one bag at a time. So he pulls on it with both hands, breathing<br />

hard. His name is Carmine Corallo, only eighteen and skinny—<br />

not built for this work. We toss the bags into the compactor. It<br />

grumbles, digesting the filth. I glance over at Skip, but his face is<br />

half-covered by Jimmy Carter’s—deep in thought, palm over his<br />

forehead—peering from the front of the Daily News.<br />

“What’s the word on them hostages” the Kid shouts over<br />

the motor.<br />

“They still hostages,” says Skip, eyes on the page.<br />

“Jimmy Carter a pussy,” the Kid shoots back. “Me, I<br />

would’a bombed the hell out of those mamaluks with C-4 and napalm<br />

from the get-go. Then send the Marines to secure the area.<br />

You know what I’m talking about, Skipper,” the Kid looks over at<br />

Skip and winks, but Skip just keeps reading. “M-16s locked and<br />

loaded, flying in that Huey over bamboo, blasting The Trashmen<br />

on the radio.”<br />

“Okay, take it easy, Surfin’ Bird,” I say and point to the<br />

February 2014 13


pile. “Don’t hurtchaself now.”<br />

He frowns, but gets back to work.<br />

“What would you do, Buff”<br />

“I’m not sure,” I say and squint like I’m thinking about it.<br />

“Seems like all the answers are wrong.”<br />

“The hell they are,” the Kid says. “You just haven’t been<br />

there, is all.”<br />

“Neither have you,” I say.<br />

“Hey!” Skip snaps out of his paper and the Kid and I both<br />

look. “There aint no bamboo over there,” he mutters, eyes still<br />

tracing ink.<br />

“What” the Kid shouts.<br />

“There is no bamboo in Iran,” Skip says. “It’s all sand and<br />

desert and shit.”<br />

The Kid and I trade glances and attack the rest of the pile.<br />

I don’t know whose ass the Kid kissed to get the morning shift<br />

just days on the job, but guys work years, sometimes decades to<br />

get the 6:00 to 2:00. Most start off riding at night and work their<br />

way up clockwise, getting bumped an hour or two—and maybe a<br />

dollar or two—every few years. I’m only twenty-five myself, but I<br />

got fast-tracked because I’m one of the toughest San-men riding<br />

the step. They call the city Sanitation Department “New York’s<br />

Strongest” and, I tell you, my name and photo should be stamped<br />

on that seal. Not Brian, but “Buff”—my proper San-man name.<br />

Just ask around. Built solid, all muscle—harder than our steel<br />

truck—I can clear twice as much garbage as an average Schmo<br />

working the same route. I even ripped the sleeves off my uniform<br />

because my arms got so big they were starting to cut at the seams.<br />

Now when I lift those bags and swing them over my shoulders,<br />

my biceps lump like two raw potatoes growing under my skin.<br />

I’ve been like that since high school, in Brooklyn, where I played<br />

football on the team. That’s where I fell in love with Grace, with<br />

her freckles, green eyes, and dreams. We are married now. But<br />

back then I was on my way to the Air Force, and my old man<br />

was happy. Grace was happy too. But once I got my bell rung by<br />

another guy’s helmet and lost some vision in my right eye, the Air<br />

14 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


Force went good night Johny-boy. My old man served in Korea,<br />

and for months he wouldn’t talk to me—mad as hell because my<br />

blurry right eye was the only thing that kept me out of Vietnam.<br />

The smell of the pickup bay by Grant Projects is a mix of<br />

human piss, dog hair, and insecticide—a spicy fume of heated salt<br />

and plastic that cuts deep in the throat. But thanks to the bums<br />

and new immigrants, by the time we pull up, all the big and<br />

heavy stuff is gone. The sofas, the tables, the chairs, the dressers—<br />

all blasted with Raid, stripped and looted. All that’s left is trash<br />

bags. That and the mattresses, stacked in pairs, alive with fleas<br />

and bedbugs and spotted with stains—rusty pink and yellow—<br />

dry lakes of blood and urine on a quilted map.<br />

The Kid jumps off and locks his stringy arms around a<br />

mattress. He grunts, pulling hard, cheek pressed to the soiled<br />

cloth.<br />

“Jesus Christ,” he cringes at the stench.<br />

“Don’t worry,” I smile. “A few more months and it’ll smell<br />

like lilies.”<br />

“No thanks,” he spits. “Besides, my uncle says next year<br />

we’re all gettin’ our walking papers anyway. Says our routes are<br />

going private.”<br />

“Few days on the job and already he is the garbage commissioner,”<br />

I laugh, but inside I worry. I think about Grace. She<br />

is pregnant, and we’ve been fighting cause she says our money<br />

is short. The whole city is pretty strapped, but Ed Koch treats us<br />

San-men fair. Better than cops and firemen who get paid less than<br />

we do from the start. But ever since we got married, Grace has<br />

been all nerves—now even more with the kid on the way—yelling<br />

at me about our tiny Gravesend walkup, how it’s no place to raise<br />

a kid. She calls me a deadbeat and says she could’ve done better.<br />

And when she says that I stick my finger in her face and tell her to<br />

shut her stupid mouth, but inside I know it’s true. She fell in love<br />

with a future pilot and that makes me angry as hell. Few times it<br />

got so bad I punched a couple of holes in our bedroom drywall,<br />

getting the neighbors all riled. Sometimes I could swear she is fixing<br />

to leave me. That’s why I need this job. Another year and I’m<br />

February 2014 15


up for a bump—maybe as much as two dollars.<br />

“Oh, you’ll see,” the Kid says. “And if it’s not that, then<br />

they’ll just come up with some new robot truck that picks up<br />

trash by itself. You know, like in that Quark show on TV.”<br />

“Let me ask you something,” I stop and look at him. “Say<br />

your robot truck gets blocked off by a double-parked car. Can it<br />

tell the asshole to move”<br />

Skip snorts and I feel better.<br />

“I’m just sayin’,” the Kid pinches his thumbs and index<br />

fingers together and flaps his wrists. “If we can send a man to the<br />

Moon, anything’s possible.”<br />

“We’re not in space,” Skip looks up from the page. “We’re<br />

in Harlem.”<br />

The clutch rasps and screeches, and we all laugh.<br />

“Don’t worry, Buff,” the Kid yells, stepping up to the cabin,<br />

all grins. “When you get canned, I’ll talk to my uncle for you. He<br />

can always use a strong Irishman.”<br />

We pull out and I’m back on the step, riding a cloud of exhaust.<br />

It’s almost 9:30 and the traffic is getting thicker and louder.<br />

In the morning, driving down 125th Street is like swimming<br />

through mud. Only the mud is made of metal and sweat—jerking,<br />

honking, and cursing—wafting its hot morning breath from<br />

tailpipes and radiators. And there aint no way out of it. Because<br />

Manhattan traffic is like God commanding the uncontrollable.<br />

And if you think about it, our big white truck, with all its power<br />

and metal, is sort of like Jesus Christ, keeping us safe—steering<br />

us and our human filth across the madness. It’s silly, I know. But<br />

sometimes I think about that. And I realize that even with all the<br />

pulling and jerking and reeking and noise I’m better off riding<br />

the step than sitting inside the cabin with Skip. Because when<br />

the traffic comes to a crawl and our truck is barely moving, I<br />

sometimes jump off and walk alongside, free. And when things<br />

get moving again, I hop back on, wait for some speed and put my<br />

face against the cool breath of that holly spirit.<br />

It takes us almost an hour and a half to make it across<br />

125th to Eighth Avenue, and I’m hungry. Grace packed roast beef<br />

16 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


on a rye, a dill pickle, and a Coke, but no Hershey bar this time<br />

‘cause we’ve been fighting. I jump off at the next pit and grab my<br />

lunchbox from the cabin. I can’t see the Apollo—a city bus is<br />

blocking the view—but I know it’s there. There is a milky smell<br />

of vomit and beer, and I can tell we’re half way through with the<br />

day. I smile and take a bite off my sandwich.<br />

The front of the Apollo, under that famous marquee, is<br />

one of the most well kept sidewalks in Manhattan. The bags are<br />

tied with red and blue rubber-bands and neatly stacked by the<br />

service entrance just off to the side. All the action is across the<br />

street: it sparkles with broken glass, trash bins flipped and tumbled,<br />

the asphalt smudged with blood and splashed with vomit.<br />

The truck hisses to a stop and the Kid and I step off. He<br />

looks over the mess and then at me.<br />

“How can you eat”<br />

I shrug and take another bite.<br />

“I’m hungry.”<br />

“Marone’a mia!” he cups his hand over his mouth and<br />

nose.<br />

I set my sandwich, wrapped in foil, down on the step behind<br />

the compactor and grab two bags. The Kid and I take turns<br />

working the pile, and when it’s done he dashes back to the truck<br />

as fast as he can, and I can hear Skip giggle.<br />

We roll out and when we finally hit Park Avenue the<br />

brakes squeal and the truck shakes and lumbers into a right<br />

turn. This is where the rusty beams whipped in graffiti prop the<br />

Amtrak rail overhead, and half-baked whores, bums, and junkies<br />

seek shade under the steel overpass. Some are unconscious,<br />

some hunched over soupy puddles of vomit, others stumbling<br />

about, scratching and raving, sweaty t-shirts stuck to their chests.<br />

When they see me ride the step sleeveless, my sandy hair wild in<br />

the wind, the whores stop cat-walking and turn. “Hey Buff,” they<br />

call out, ropey legs wobbling in fat platform shoes. “Wanna get<br />

sommah’dis” I smile and we keep riding, past the slow whiff of<br />

urine and sewage water all the way down to 96th Street. The trash<br />

we pick up along the way is bulky, not bagged or boxed, industrial<br />

February 2014 17


mostly, crude pieces of wood and scrap metal too rusty for crack<br />

fiends to salvage and sell.<br />

As we get closer to Carver Houses, the whores and junkies<br />

thin out, afraid to get raped or robbed by project boys or cut<br />

down by a stray shot. Because even they—already half-dead and<br />

abandoned—aren’t asking to go before their time. No. Suicide<br />

is a rich man’s game. Around here it’s all gang tags and murder<br />

marks burning metal and brick—“Komik,” “CrawlRboy,” “FatZ,”<br />

“R.I.Pr,” “KoNman,” “Peacebitch”—all funny bubbles. Cartoons<br />

of the laughing dead. I look at the spray paint and think of Grace<br />

and our baby in her belly. And how once it’s born we’ll watch<br />

Looney Tunes together just like my old man did with me when<br />

I was a kid. Back then he was still excited about me joining the<br />

Air Force. Aint nothing like flying, he used to say. And when I<br />

turned five or six, he showed me those cartoons in some picture<br />

book— Bugs and Daffy and Taz and Jessica Rabbit—all painted<br />

on the bombs we used to drop in World War II. And I remember<br />

thinking how those Looney Tunes must’ve been the last thing the<br />

Germans and Japs saw before they turned to ash. The laughing<br />

dead. I look at all that graffiti—all those funny squiggles of blues,<br />

reds and yellows—and they are all around me. All so bright and<br />

playful they cut my eyes, as if the sun itself had enough of this<br />

city and threw up all over its brick walls.<br />

Another few blocks and we pull up to the Carver Projects.<br />

Brick City, USA. We don’t talk much around here, just do our<br />

pickup and move.<br />

“Hey, do me a favor,” I say to the Kid. “Give your bags a<br />

little poke, see if they feel funny.”<br />

“How come”<br />

“Just do it,” I say.<br />

“Oh, I get it,” he smirks and shoves one of the bags with<br />

his boot. “We’re checking for stiffs, aren’t we My uncle told me<br />

about it. You and Skip ever find any”<br />

We found two this year alone, but I don’t tell him about it.<br />

“Just do your work,” I say.<br />

We had to call the cops both times. They were younger<br />

18 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


than the Kid, still boys, fifteen years old, both cut up in six pieces<br />

and stuffed in a trash bag which smelled like perished blood. I<br />

don’t tell the Kid about it. I don’t want him to get spooked. Instead<br />

I just pat the bags before I lift them and take a look around.<br />

It’s not even three o’clock, but the Mae Grant playground is empty,<br />

surrounded by sky-high brown brick. Why did they ever build<br />

these projects How did this place go from a dream for the lost to<br />

lost dreams—to forty blocks of tears and sandpaper knuckles and<br />

grim stares over the bouncing ball<br />

I hop back on the truck and it pulls me away. We keep riding<br />

and working. And soon the rusty carcass of the Amtrak dips<br />

below the asphalt—its metallic cling-clang now a rumble under<br />

our wheels—and the street opens up to daylight. There is no more<br />

graffiti. And when I see a narrow island of trees splitting traffic,<br />

I know we’re on 96th and Park Avenue. Green awnings stretch<br />

over the sidewalk, one after another on both sides, and potbellied<br />

doormen, all frocks and black-ties, hover about like penguins<br />

from the Captain Cook. These buildings are just as tall as the<br />

projects, but older and cast a different kind of shadow—longer<br />

and wider—blotches of darkness so grand that when they fall<br />

they flood all the little shadows and make them disappear. The<br />

smell is also different: jasmine, fruit, and a touch of baby powder.<br />

Too different, come to think of it. We stop at the corner and I<br />

jump off. Skip and the Kid are in the cabin, but they can smell it<br />

too.<br />

“Now that’s a sweet ice cream cone on a hot summer day,”<br />

Skip bites his lip and fizzes from his nostrils.<br />

“Mah-rone!” the Kid echoes, rubbing his chin.<br />

I see her. She is in front of the truck, right on the corner,<br />

waiting for the light to change. Tall and smooth like a statue, high<br />

heels, little skirt cut at the thighs, and blonde hair—real blonde—<br />

like streams of liquid gold parted down the middle. I know it’s<br />

real too because no dark roots are showing. And even though she<br />

is wearing sunglasses, those big oval ones with half-yellow shades,<br />

I can tell she is young, eighteen, nineteen at most.<br />

“Damn, she can get it,” Skip tilts his head way down to the<br />

February 2014 19


side.<br />

“Twice!” the Kid barks back.<br />

The light turns green and they both watch her click-clack<br />

down the crosswalk. I watch her too.<br />

“Say Skip, don’t you have a wife” I say and try hard to<br />

remember Grace.<br />

“Yessir, twenty years,” he says, nosing back in the paper.<br />

“Good woman. Good mother too.”<br />

“That’s right,” the Kid perks up. “Soon as I get married, I’ll<br />

get me a nice pretty goomara on the side too. A little blondie just<br />

like that one.” He winks at me. “Cause one good piece’ah cavaccia<br />

aint’never enough. Not for this skinny ginny.”<br />

“Easy now, Alphalpha,” I tell him and point back to the<br />

step. “You’re up.”<br />

“Buff, you’re such a square,” he lowers his head and shakes<br />

it, walking off. “All that muscle and no sack.”<br />

I’m about to smack the Kid upside the head with one of<br />

my gloves, but I hear Skip laughing.<br />

“You know, you two aint nothin’ but a pair of peanuts,” he<br />

snorts, shaking the paper with his heavy breath. “What do you<br />

say Think that fancy little treat is gonna run off with me” He<br />

lets out a wheezing cough-laugh.<br />

“What do you mean, Skipper” the Kid says, and he and I<br />

glance back and forth.<br />

Skip’s face is big, round, and stubby, like old bulldog’s,<br />

and his eyeballs are slightly yellow from all those years on the job.<br />

He shuts the newspaper, puts it down beside him, and we know<br />

serious wisdom is on its way. The truck idles and we wait for it by<br />

the cabin doors.<br />

“What I mean is I can’t have that young pretty thing.<br />

Not no more. But I can still feel good looking at her struttin’ by,<br />

letting my eyes feast on all that fineness.”<br />

“And why can’t you have her” the Kid demands.<br />

“Cause I am black, fat, and smell like ass!” Skip coughlaughs<br />

again. “That’s why.”<br />

20 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


“So then why even bother” I say and remember Grace—<br />

all of her—her dimples, her eyelashes, her smooth round belly,<br />

and how even after we fight and I hate her, her fingertips tingle<br />

when she touches my face. “Why bother cat-calling and hollering<br />

when your wife is waiting at home”<br />

“Cause it aint about possession,” he looks at us and smiles<br />

real gentle, like he’s got something we don’t. “It’s about hope. That<br />

sweet pain between crying and laughing that everyone forgets.<br />

But back in the jungle that’s all I had. And at night, laying in wet<br />

fern with my loaded twenty, soaked in my own piss and sweat,<br />

big-ass spiders tickling my neck, a young girl like that is all there<br />

was in my head—smiling, playing with her hair, her smell clean<br />

and pure like storm water fresh outta the sky. But funny thing<br />

is, soon as I squeezed that trigger and put a drop on one of them<br />

Gooks, I felt safe again—safe and empty—like the moment after<br />

you come. And as soon as I did, that girl in my head—she was<br />

gone. Gone until I needed her again. To remind me I was still in<br />

that jungle, but also still alive.”<br />

I look at Skip for a minute not knowing what to say.<br />

“Well, I don’t know about the jungle and all,” the Kid says,<br />

rubbing his curly head. “But she definitely made my cazzo wiggle.”<br />

We all laugh and I’m glad we do, because that’s the first<br />

time I ever heard Skip talk about the war.<br />

“You’re up, Kid,” I say and tap him on the shoulder. He<br />

smiles and springs for the pile. He is a good kid, that one, just<br />

lazy and yaks too much. He grabs a bag. They line the curbside<br />

neatly, all black, double-layered Park Avenue-style to keep the<br />

trash from spilling. He drags it to the back and dumps it into the<br />

open hopper. The compactor growls, crushing and draining the<br />

waste. Then I hear a sucking sound, like a birthday balloon leaking<br />

air, and then a big old pop.<br />

“Vaffanculo putanna!”<br />

I drop my bags and run to the compactor. A trail of litter<br />

stretches over the sidewalk from the back of the truck. The Kid<br />

kicks the steel intake, cursing. Yellow trash juice drips from his<br />

February 2014 21


hair and face.<br />

“The friggin’ bag burst on me!” He yells, wiping himself<br />

with his sleeve.<br />

“Dump and move, remember” I say, and I can feel a laugh<br />

building up in my nose. “What’re you doing standing over there<br />

anyway”<br />

“I was just up on the step watching!”<br />

“This aint a sunset, you dolt,” I say and let go laughing.<br />

“You’ve got to wait until it’s done compressing before you step<br />

up.”<br />

Hearing the pop and the Kid cursing, Skip hobbles over to<br />

check out the mess.<br />

“It’s just a love-quirt, kiddo,” he laughs and wheezes. “She<br />

does that sometimes.”<br />

The Kid can’t help it and starts laughing too. I look back<br />

at the spilled trash. The people in suits bustling past are starting<br />

to notice, walking roundabout or hopping over it lifting pant legs<br />

and skirts.<br />

“We’re not in Harlem anymore, Toto.” I say looking at the<br />

Kid. “Let’s clean this up.”<br />

We both bend down and start plucking garbage from the<br />

asphalt. It’s mostly crumpled paper, some old socks, food-stained<br />

packages, plastic bottles, and a few stringed tampons with little<br />

red tips. Then I see something, something small and shiny. Even<br />

smudged in waste it sticks out amid orange peel and paper envelopes,<br />

soaking up all the light and sprinkling it around. I kneel<br />

and pick it up. The Kid sees it too.<br />

“Eh-yo Buff, what is that” he straightens up and walks<br />

over.<br />

It’s a ring. A tiny loop of yellow metal fitted with a glassy<br />

rock the size of a marble, like one of them bouncy ones for the<br />

kids.<br />

“Let me see,” the Kid takes it from my hand. “Holly shit!”<br />

He brings it up to his mouth, puts it between his teeth and bites.<br />

“What’s wrong with you” I say and cringe.<br />

“Why” he looks up. “My uncle told me that’s how you<br />

22 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


check if it’s real.”<br />

“I thought your uncle was in the moving business.”<br />

“It’s real, alright,” he spits and narrows his eyes. “Something<br />

written on it too.”<br />

“Okay, that’s enough,” I snatch it back from him and wipe<br />

the inside rim with the corner of my shirt.<br />

“What’s it say” The Kid’s face is all eyes.<br />

“For Love, Eternal,” I trace the words.<br />

“For love eternal” he tugs his mouth. “Who the hell talks<br />

like that”<br />

“Rich people,” Skip says out of the blue.<br />

“Holly shit!” the Kid jumps. “This is some score!”<br />

“Says something else here too,” I squint at the tiny script.<br />

“E. S. Swanson.”<br />

I bend down and pick up one of the torn postal envelopes<br />

from the pavement next to where I found the ring. The same<br />

name is printed on it, E. S. Swanson, and an address: 1130 Park<br />

Avenue, PH. New York, NY 10128.<br />

“See” I show it to the Kid. “It’s just a couple of blocks<br />

down. These Swanson people must’ve dropped it in the shoot by<br />

accident.”<br />

“Too bad for them,” the Kid says, beaming.<br />

I look over at Skip. “They’ve got to be looking for it.”<br />

“So” the Kid shrugs.<br />

“I don’t want no trouble,” I say. “Let’s just take it back to<br />

the depot and give it to Chief.”<br />

“You gotta be kiddin’ me,” the Kid laughs and glances at<br />

Skip too. “That thing must be worth fifty grand, maybe a hundred.<br />

What do you think the Chief’s gonna do File it in lost and<br />

found He is gonna pocket this baby and go adios amigos. No,<br />

this is our score.”<br />

“This aint a score,” I raise my voice and look at Skip again,<br />

but he just stands there and says nothing.<br />

“Hey, what’s ah matter with you” the Kid arches his face<br />

and flaps his pinched fingers. “You think you gonna get an atta’<br />

boy from the Chief and get your two-dollar bump early Trust<br />

February 2014 23


me, it aint happening. My uncle said so. So I say we split it three<br />

ways and cash out. Whataya say, ah Skipper”<br />

“Oh, don’t look at me,” Skip puts his palms up. “I’m a year<br />

away from clocking out with city pension. The full ride. I aint<br />

messing that up.”<br />

“City pension Are you kiddin’ me” he stares at Skip.<br />

“You went to war for this country!”<br />

“We’re not keeping it,” I say, feeling better now that Skip<br />

said no.<br />

“You think you’re gonna get some kinda reward from<br />

these people” the Kid chuckles. “Forget it! You lucky if they don’t<br />

call the cops. Meanwhile, you gonna come home and tell your<br />

wife that you found a rock half-ah-size of a baseball and then returned<br />

it to some rich f’noosh who aint even gonna miss it What<br />

do you think she’ll say”<br />

A stickball-chasing loudmouth still wet behind his ears.<br />

What does he know about my Grace But somehow his words<br />

make the Park Avenue sidewalk float under me like a snapper<br />

boat unmoored in Caesar’s Bay. I think of Grace and imagine us<br />

moving out of our murky walkup and buying a place of our own.<br />

Maybe even in Staten Island. It’s clean and full of sunshine with a<br />

little room for the kid. But then I look at the ring, this tiny sparkle<br />

in my palm, and begin to drown in someone else’s happiness.<br />

“You know what Forget you guys,” the Kid says. “I’ll keep<br />

it for myself. Better yet, I’ll bring it to my uncle. Get’m to front<br />

me for a business, a nice little moving joint of my own. Start<br />

small at first, then maybe put up a pizzeria, maybe two. Hell, you<br />

play your cards right, maybe I’ll even hire you twos. Cause soon<br />

enough you’re getting your walking papers anyways.”<br />

“No,” I say. “You heard the man. Nobody’s keeping nothing.”<br />

“Like hell,” the Kid says. “We all found it. We all have a<br />

say. We work this route together.”<br />

“No, I found it,” I say and start walking back to the truck.<br />

He catches up to me and grabs my arm.<br />

I turn and take him by his collar. “You don’t want to do<br />

24 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


this with me, baby cheeks.” I give him a little jerk and his whole<br />

body, stringy and limp, sways under my grip.<br />

“Get your hands off me!” He stares at me all tough and I<br />

feel sorry for him. “You know who I am”<br />

“Tough guy, huh” I loosen my grip on his shirt. “Get back<br />

to work.”<br />

“Go to hell!” He flings my arm off. “Touch me again and<br />

you better learn to dodge bullets, you dumb Irish prick.” He kicks<br />

over a trash can, spilling garbage on street, and walks off to the<br />

cabin. I see him climb the steps and disappear inside. I’m now<br />

alone with Skip, and he looks uneasy.<br />

“Look, Buff,” he exhales deep. “You better lay off this kid.”<br />

“What” I say. “All this time me and you ride together and<br />

you take his side”<br />

“It aint about that,” he says quietly and checks around like<br />

someone is listening in. “You know how he is always going on<br />

about his uncle”<br />

“So”<br />

“The Kid’s last name. Corallo” He leans close to me. “The<br />

Kid is all mobbed up. How do you think he got the morning shift<br />

only a week on the job”<br />

“I don’t get it.”<br />

“You don’t read the papers much, do you” Skip looks<br />

around again. “His uncle is Anthony Corallo. The Lucchese crime<br />

boss. You know, Tony Ducks You know why they call him that<br />

Because he ducks all the charges.”<br />

“So then what’s his nephew doing picking up trash” I say.<br />

“Shouldn’t he be walking around with pinstripes and a handkerchief”<br />

“I guess he is trying to break the Kid in,” Skip says.<br />

“Break him in” I say. “For what”<br />

“I’m sorry, Buff,” he breathes heavy again. “But it’s true.<br />

His uncle must be making some kind of move. Next year<br />

our routes are going private.”<br />

Skip is untouchable—on his way out with a full pension.<br />

But if the routes are now up for grabs, my own job is on the block.<br />

February 2014 25


“What am I supposed to do, Skipper” I say, and even<br />

though the sun is blasting, my hands shiver like it’s Christmas<br />

eve. “Next year I’m out of a job and with Grace the way she is<br />

I need the money. It’s that or she’ll leave me, Skip, she said she<br />

would. Hell, she’ll probably leave me anyway. But if I keep it, if I<br />

keep this damn ring, the Kid will be after me for a piece of it. And<br />

if I give it back to Swansons, he and his grease-ball uncle will get<br />

me for sure, orphan my poor kid before it even sees its first light.<br />

What do I do, uh Skip What the hell do I do”<br />

“Relax, Buff. I’ll talk to the Kid,” he says and gives my<br />

shoulders a little shake.<br />

“What would you do, Skip” I look up at him. “What<br />

would you do in my spot”<br />

He looks at me and half-smiles. “Don’t think about that.<br />

Just do what it is you do. Because things, they don’t change none.<br />

And whatever you do, tomorrow the world be same as it is today.<br />

Them hostages in the paper still be hostages. Rich folks still be<br />

rich. The Kid be the Kid. And you, you’ll be alright.”<br />

I want to tell him something but Park Avenue traffic<br />

drowns my thoughts.<br />

“Thanks, Skip,” I say instead and put the ring in my pocket.<br />

“The hell with him and his ducks.”<br />

He smiles and I know he means it.<br />

“Go on,” he says, struggling up the steps to the cabin and<br />

plopping down behind the wheel. “The Kid and I will cover the<br />

rest of the stretch.”<br />

The engine groans, coughs up smoke from the tailpipe,<br />

and I watch them merge with the honking flow.<br />

I walk the rest of the way alone, past the endless storefront<br />

glass of Park Avenue madness. Godiva chocolates with ribbons<br />

and bows, music boxes and porcelain dogs, chandeliers and<br />

paintings and candles and rugs—all neatly arranged as if by some<br />

kid who finally tidied up his toys after playing. Each thing tries to<br />

one-up another, but instead they mingle and match, itching my<br />

bad eye with colorful sameness. Just a bunch of pretty things that<br />

do nothing, my old man would say and keep walking.<br />

26 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


But here I am, with a diamond ring in my pocket, wishing<br />

I had enough dough to get something for Grace. He’d never<br />

bring into the house a useless thing of beauty. But I keep daydreaming<br />

about buying one, even though Grace and I would<br />

end up fighting about what it is or where to put it or which way<br />

to turn it, and soon enough its shattered pieces would be food<br />

for Fresh Kills. So I keep walking and wishing I had my old<br />

man’s heart. A man who hugs my mother smelling like scotch<br />

and flooded basements, and she loves him anyway; who smiles<br />

his crinkly smile while picking shit crumbs from the soles of his<br />

boots, and she loves him even more. The kind of man who can<br />

lose a war and wake up the next day to drain septic tanks. And<br />

if only he knew I was fixed to give up what could save my Grace<br />

and my baby from Gravesend, he’d smack me upside the head<br />

and call me a disgrace to all Fitzgeralds. Because Fitzgeralds are<br />

men who have a tumbler switch for a soul; who knob between<br />

war men, san men, husband men, ladies men, rich men, poor<br />

men, beggar men, and thieves like wooden men in foosball.<br />

But maybe it’s not too late. Korea is clipped right down the<br />

middle, Vietnam as pinko as the Village, and my right eye not<br />

worth a wink. But those hostages in the dessert are still hostages.<br />

And though I’m too blind to drop Bugs Bunny bombs from the<br />

sky like my old man wanted, I can still make the dead laugh by<br />

lifting and strapping them under the wings. I am still strong. I<br />

can still join up and lose my own war; claim my own 38th parallel<br />

heartsplit. Them hostages still be hostages, Skip’s wisdom<br />

buzzing in my ear. And so long as they stay that way I still have<br />

a shot at the desert. And if I ever come back I’ll never again bark<br />

filth at Grace or drag her out of the shower by the hair, naked and<br />

wet, for lack of pride and pension. I walk through the smoke of<br />

the corner food stand and choke on the burning meat. Maybe it’s<br />

not too late. Just one more block.<br />

Doormen trade squawks over Park Avenue traffic from<br />

one sidewalk to the other and back. And when I get to Swanson’s<br />

building, it looks just like the ones next to it: old, clean, and faceless.<br />

I can always tell where I am in the city by the garbage on the<br />

February 2014 27


street— Chinatown, Harlem, Murray Hill. Waste always says the<br />

same thing, just sounds different, like foreign languages you hear<br />

on the street. On trash days, even the Upper West Side is familiar<br />

with its curbed sofas, old paintings, book cases, and lamps. Go<br />

ahead and keep working, its brownstones snicker, but you will<br />

never afford what I throw away. But this side of the park is different,<br />

its trash hidden like some awful secret, and for a minute I feel<br />

lost. It’s as if the people who live here never throw things away,<br />

just lose them from time to time, like these Swanson folks.<br />

“May I help you” the doorman crosses me.<br />

“I’m here to see Mr. Swanson.”<br />

“And who are you” he looks me up and down and puts<br />

his white glove up to his nose. He is about thirty with brown skin,<br />

dark eyes, and a thin black mustache trimmed neatly on both<br />

sides. There is a strong waft of cologne from him too, Old Spice,<br />

and I can tell, if not for this job and the starched uniform, he’d<br />

have as much business hanging around this place as me in my<br />

dirty rags.<br />

“My name is Brian Fitzgerald,” I say. “I’m with the Sanitation<br />

Department.”<br />

“Is that right” he says and steps up. “And I’m with the piss<br />

off or I’ll call the cops department. Get my meaning”<br />

He sounds just like me and half the guys I grew up with in<br />

Brooklyn. I bet that’s why they hired him, too. A guard dog—loyal<br />

to his masters but aint afraid to swallow his “Rs” and get up in<br />

a stranger’s face.<br />

“Here,” I reach into my pocket and pull out the ring. “It’s<br />

got Swanson’s name inscribed.”<br />

He looks at it and squints at me, “Where did you get that”<br />

“I found it working my route, just a block away,” I say.<br />

“And an envelope with the same name and address.”<br />

“You saying you found this in the trash” he mocks me.<br />

“No, I found it in the Hamptons,” I flip my middle finger<br />

up. “It must’ve slipped off while I was ridin’ my pony.”<br />

He smirks at first, then lets out a giggle and we break out<br />

into a good laugh.<br />

28 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


“Whatta they call ya” He catches his breath.<br />

“Buff.”<br />

“Roberto,” he smiles. “Where’ya from, Buff”<br />

“Gravesend,” I say.<br />

“Oh, yeah” His eyes grow big. “I’m from Coney Island.<br />

Surf Avenue. We damn-near neighbors.”<br />

“And here we are.”<br />

“Tell ya what,” he takes another careful look around.<br />

“Why don’t you come in here a minute while I see what’s what.”<br />

I follow him into the lobby and wait while he rings upstairs.<br />

It’s big, bright, and spotless and smells like vanilla with a<br />

lemon twist.<br />

“No answer,” he hangs up the phone and steps back from<br />

his desk. “They must be out or asleep. You can wait here if you<br />

want. I’ll try them again, but it might be a while.”<br />

I sit in one of the chairs in the lobby and Roberto and I<br />

talk awhile. Turns out we went to the same high school, but never<br />

met because he was ahead of me by a few years. He tells me he<br />

is Cuban and came to America in 1959 with his father when he<br />

was just a kid. Says his father was running away from Castro and<br />

Batista and how they still can’t figure out which one of the two<br />

was worse. He lucked out with this job, he tells me, like I did with<br />

mine, and has been working the door a few years now. Still, he<br />

says, they won’t let him into the union. I tell him about my own<br />

old man and his time in Korea and how much better off I’d be<br />

myself if my bad eye didn’t keep me from going to Vietnam. He<br />

tells me he’s got a couple of boys and a girl of his own, and when<br />

he asks about Grace I tell him she is pregnant and we’ve been<br />

fighting about the money, and how if you live in this city nothing<br />

is ever good enough.<br />

Every now and then the people who live in the building or<br />

have some business inside pass between us and I wonder if one<br />

of them is a Swanson. Roberto and I talk and laugh, and even<br />

though I look like a hobo and reek of garbage and sweat, they<br />

never stop or say anything—just smile to themselves and clack<br />

across the lobby, making my eyes heavy with sleep. I watch them<br />

February 2014 29


go back and forth in silence, like happy zombies, drifting in and<br />

out of the afternoon light.<br />

•<br />

“Hey Buff,” Roberto pokes me awake and I realize I’ve<br />

been waiting in the lobby for hours.<br />

“You can come up now,” he smiles.<br />

I shake off sleep and follow him to the elevator. Once<br />

inside, he puts a small key in the hole above all the buttons with<br />

“PH” stamped nearby. He clicks it in and turns and the elevator<br />

jerks under our feet.<br />

“That’s some ring,” he smiles and adjusts his cap. “Sure<br />

you wanna give it back”<br />

“No,” I say and we giggle again.<br />

The buttons light up one after another. And when the<br />

doors finally ding open I step into a room the size of my old high<br />

school gym. The whole place is like a Bensonhurst row house<br />

built on top of a skyscraper. There are paintings everywhere, all<br />

framed in brown wood and staircases at each end of the place<br />

stretch to higher floors. A big white piano sits off to the side. And<br />

out of the tall windows, which circle the place all around, I see<br />

real trees, tall and leafy, planted in big jars along the terrace.<br />

Chairs and sofas line the walls, plush leather, beige and<br />

brown, but I stay on my feet, afraid to stain Swanson’s fancy<br />

upholstery with my clothes, drenched in a long day of sweat and<br />

trash. Instead I walk toward a cool breeze from the terrace and<br />

look outside. I spent five years riding the step uptown. I know its<br />

every street corner from East to West and back. I know every alley,<br />

every stink-hole, every crevice of this city, but I’ve never seen<br />

it like this. Central Park, like Swanson’s own lawn with a couple<br />

of rain puddles, sits square in the middle, its green protected<br />

from all sides by walls of forts and towers. Like a heart rate, they<br />

rise and fall in restless slopes, beating out the granite pulse of the<br />

city. A shiver of cool air bristles my skin, and it all makes sense:<br />

30 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


there is an endless order to this city, but you can only see it from<br />

way up in the sky. And when yellow window squares begin to<br />

light Manhattan anew, I suddenly feel like crying. I know I will<br />

never see this view again.<br />

“Are you Mister Fitzgerald” a voice says, and I turn<br />

around.<br />

It’s a woman. She is small. Her face is heavy with makeup,<br />

her hair bleached and pulled back in a funny twist. She looks just<br />

shy of fifty—something beautiful about her, but I can’t tell what it<br />

is.<br />

“I am Misses Swanson,” she says.<br />

“I brought you this,” I take the ring out of my pocket and<br />

wipe it on my shirt. “It’s yours, isn’t it”<br />

“It was,” she says. “But I threw it away.”<br />

I feel my eyes blinking, but the rest of me won’t move.<br />

“You did what you say”<br />

“I threw it away, Mister Fitzgerald,” she says and her chin<br />

trembles. “I threw it away because my husband is cheating on me<br />

with another woman.”<br />

I look at her and suddenly the only filth I can smell is my<br />

own. And it makes me sick. And for a moment I feel like running<br />

out with the ring, away from this place, racing downtown, across<br />

the Brooklyn Bridge, all the way back to Gravesend. Back to<br />

Grace.<br />

“Why Why would you do that, Misses Swanson Why<br />

would you do a thing like that” My words grow louder, pouring<br />

out of my mouth, but I can hardly hear myself. I can only feel it<br />

burning me, this filthy treasure in my hand, tossed out by this<br />

woman like a piss-stained mattress. “Do you know what I had to<br />

do What this ring means to people like me How much it could<br />

change things For my wife My pregnant wife”<br />

“Then take it,” she says and her voice quivers. “Please.<br />

Take it and give it to her.”<br />

I look at her—stiff hair, tiny eyes with flakes of tears and<br />

mascara—and I get her beauty. It’s her skin. Smooth and even,<br />

with not one wrinkle or mark, it’s stretched over her face like a<br />

February 2014 31


cellophane trash bag, pulled real tight and stapled on the back of<br />

her skull.<br />

“Mister Fitzgerald...” she begs and all I want to do is hold<br />

her. But I stay back. I don’t want to stain her. So I put the ring on<br />

the piano and watch water build in her eyes.<br />

•<br />

Outside it’s already dark, and overnight delivery trucks<br />

rumble back and forth kicking up dust. A woman in a black dress<br />

flings her wrist for a taxi. She looks me up and down and smiles,<br />

but I feel like a midget. The Kid has his grease-ball uncle, and<br />

Skip, he has his war. And what’ve I got My job My Grace All<br />

like fine grains of beach sand seeping through my fingers. I walk<br />

by a news stand and a delivery boy dumps off a fresh stack of the<br />

Daily News. I think of Skip and read the headline:<br />

Saddam Hussein Invades Iran; Hostage Negotiations Beckon.<br />

Steven Volynets was born in<br />

Soviet Ukraine and raised in South<br />

Brooklyn. His fiction appeared in<br />

Works & Days Quarterly and is<br />

forthcoming from Kaleidoscope<br />

Magazine and Per Contra Journal.<br />

His essays and criticism have<br />

been published in HTMLGIANT,<br />

Construction Literary Magazine,<br />

and Moment Magazine (founded<br />

by Elie Wiesel) among others.<br />

Steven also spent several years as<br />

a journalist at the PC Magazine, covering everything from gadgets<br />

to energy policy. His news gathering and reporting earned nominations<br />

for the Weblog Award, MIN Best of the Web Award, and<br />

the Annual Jesse H. Neal Award—the “Oscar” of business journalism.<br />

He has since covered crime, politics, and culture in Southern<br />

Brooklyn neighborhoods. Steven graduated from Brooklyn College<br />

and attended the MFA program in fiction at the City College of<br />

New York. He is at work on a collection of stories.<br />

32 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


April Salzano<br />

An Impact Wrench is Not<br />

a sound I thought I would ever miss from those days<br />

I lived beside the small town mechanic’s shop.<br />

But I do. Its definitive finality, its crescendo,<br />

the distinct pause between lug nuts, between wheels,<br />

between cars. It was a sound I could count on,<br />

sunrise to sunset when the shop closed for the day,<br />

the grease-covered men went home to dinner,<br />

the father who owned the place, the son<br />

who never went to college, and the third, expendable,<br />

nameless fellow with the beat-up pickup truck<br />

and the suggestion of loneliness. I nursed my son<br />

to that sound, curtains on the east side<br />

of the house usually closed, but I would peer<br />

between the slats of the plantation shutters sometimes<br />

when I was lonely and bored, toward the end<br />

of my marriage, kids napping, laundry folded<br />

in its outdoor-fresh scented squares of domesticity.<br />

I found comfort in watching the customers<br />

who walked to pick up their cars, then pulled away,<br />

never in any kind of hurry, back to the college<br />

campus up the street, to the failing coffee shop<br />

on the corner, to the town’s one hair salon or market.<br />

I hear it now, my second husband rotating my tires,<br />

my youngest boy eight years old, playing various<br />

electronic devices whose names and games I cannot keep<br />

track of, my oldest upstairs more than he is down,<br />

and I wonder how it happened that I am suddenly forty<br />

and do not live anywhere near the fix-it shop,<br />

existing in another town, another life entirely.<br />

February 2014 33


April Salzano<br />

Lightning<br />

can, does, and will strike<br />

in the same place twice,<br />

unlike you said<br />

after punching my left arm,<br />

before rapid-firing my right. This,<br />

among the lies you told that I actually<br />

believed. Other, sober nonsense I thought<br />

I had ignored, I find myself quoting<br />

like my line in a school play. Pain does not<br />

have an address, but muscle has memory, bruised<br />

as fruit. A five pound paste jar to the leg, pissed<br />

pants, a septum as deviated as a fork of electricity.<br />

Arms open wide in upward acknowledgment, childlike<br />

hero worship, solid as a 2x4’s discipline, and just<br />

as hard. Lessons always learned the first time. Still,<br />

when I remember you, it is with a sad shade of nostalgia,<br />

the color of sky just before a storm.<br />

34 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


April Salzano<br />

Someone Else’s Oak<br />

I want to say her eyes are cathedrals,<br />

spires of stone and light, built<br />

to honor something perhaps<br />

not tangible, but important.<br />

Her skin is a wilderness<br />

stuffed so full of stars and darkness<br />

she threatens to burst,<br />

Venus-fire, Helios-hot.<br />

Her hair is Medusa’s snakes<br />

curling toward the sky. They show<br />

no pretense, no venom, not even<br />

curiosity for what is above.<br />

But I can only say her locks are branches,<br />

simply existing through a hundred seasons.<br />

Her roots are cities that do not see,<br />

but feel every inch of the distance<br />

they have grown.<br />

Recent Puschart nominee, April Salzano teaches college<br />

writing in Pennsylvania where she lives with her husband<br />

and two sons. She is working on a memoir on raising a son<br />

with autism and has recently finished her first collection of<br />

poetry. Her work has appeared in Poetry Salzburg, Convergence,<br />

Ascent Aspirations, The Camel Saloon, Blue Stem,<br />

and Rattle. She serves as co-editor at Kind of a Hurricane<br />

Press.<br />

February 2014 35


Rob Andwood<br />

Set Phasers for One<br />

Ellen finished speaking into the empty telephone and<br />

noticed that one of the forks was starting to bend upwards, off the<br />

table, tines stretching toward the ceiling like hands to God. She<br />

returned the phone to its base and adjusted the gravity monitor<br />

that hung on the wall next to it, turning it up several clicks until<br />

the fork lay flat once more.<br />

Her husband was off looking for work on the fringes of<br />

a distant galaxy. He’d been doing that a lot lately. He repeated<br />

the promise every day, a mantra fit for a high school locker<br />

room. Once I find steady work, we’ll buy our own ship, one with<br />

Earth-level gravity in every room.<br />

When the destruction of Earth evolved from a frightening<br />

possibility into a grave certainty, they’d taken a rental on a beaten-up<br />

space cruiser, the equivalent of a minivan littered with dirt<br />

clumps and crumpled McDonald’s bags. The rental was a split<br />

they shared with another couple who had also been looking for<br />

an escape plan on the cheap. The kitchen was the only room in<br />

their half of the ship that had a gravity monitor. The devices were<br />

in high demand in this, the Evacuation Age, and the price of just<br />

one installation was steep. Ellen nodded every time her husband<br />

laid out his plan for their future. Whether she nodded for him or<br />

for herself, she never knew.<br />

The monitors weren’t perfect, but they held most objects<br />

down on a consistent basis. It was always the smallest bits that<br />

seemed to drift, like the fork. Ellen didn’t mind, though. It was<br />

nice to be able to move around the kitchen without having to<br />

worry about a cast-iron pan smacking you upside the head.<br />

On this night, she turned the monitor up high and set<br />

about preparing dinner, a perfect model of her mother on days<br />

36 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


when her father’s tires screeched in the driveway, when his boots<br />

stamping on the front porch gave advance notice that he’d been<br />

let go from yet another cookie-cutter factory job. Ellen didn’t<br />

have much to work with: tube-squeezed vegetables formed a<br />

border for chicken drained from a can. Not the stuff monthsin-advance<br />

reservations are made of by any means, but she’d<br />

compensated through attention to detail. The table was laid out<br />

perfectly, everything arranged so precisely it looked as though<br />

she’d measured out the proportions with a ruler. The silverware<br />

was centered on napkins folded at protractor-sharp angles, while<br />

water glasses orbited the plates at such symmetrical distances<br />

they might have controlled tides. Ellen felt no pull towards humility<br />

regarding her work. These things were difficult to accomplish<br />

this far out in the cosmos.<br />

And yet, he wasn’t home.<br />

The first night after launch, he’d sat her down in the tiny<br />

living room, belts cinched tightly around their waists lest they<br />

go floating off the couch, and explained how difficult it would be<br />

for him to support the two of them, working contract labor in a<br />

market unbound by the old restrictions of the upper atmosphere.<br />

Some nights I won’t make it home, he’d said, but you don’t<br />

have to worry. She’d nodded and believed herself when she told<br />

him that it would be fine.<br />

As the following night wore on, hours since he’d disembarked<br />

from the rear bay to inquire after a job somewhere in the<br />

Virgo Stellar Stream, Ellen hadn’t been able to sleep. She sat up in<br />

the living room, reading one of the few books they’d been able to<br />

bring along.<br />

Susan, who occupied the other half of the ship with her<br />

husband, was walking along the hallway outside the living room,<br />

which served as an invisible divider between the two halves of the<br />

ship. She stopped and watched Ellen silently for a few moments,<br />

then cleared her throat. Ellen looked up at her.<br />

He not back yet Susan had asked.<br />

No, Ellen said, and grinned a grin that disappeared quickly,<br />

like a half-moon not quite luminous enough to break through<br />

February 2014 37


the cloud cover.<br />

Don’t fret, Susan said, Doug was gone nearly a week the<br />

first time he went out.<br />

That hadn’t made Ellen feel any better, but she’d tried to<br />

sound sincere when she thanked Susan and wished her good<br />

night.<br />

That was five months ago by Ellen’s estimate, and there<br />

were still nights she spent alone, thinking about television and<br />

the sky and her childhood and all of the other things she once<br />

had but had no longer.<br />

Ellen sat down at the table and, checking the clock that<br />

hung on the wall one last time, started to transfer food from the<br />

serving dishes to her plate.<br />

The clock was an heirloom, given to Ellen by her mother<br />

when she sold the house after Ellen’s father passed. It was an<br />

old clock, the kind that chimes every hour, and used to stand in<br />

the kitchen of the house where Ellen grew up. Her mother had<br />

spent half her life pretending the clock didn’t exist while she<br />

knitted her fingers together in worry, waiting for her husband<br />

to return from the bowels of who-knows-where on nights when<br />

he hadn’t bothered to come home after work, or not work, at all.<br />

Ellen remembered watching her mother’s smile flicker as she said<br />

good night, both of them omitting certain questions and certain<br />

answers. Ellen would crawl into her bed and make quiet promises<br />

to herself, the kind that stick deep within the frontal lobe. All of<br />

them concerned men.<br />

These promises had died around the same time the old<br />

planet did.<br />

Ellen stared hard at her plate as she ate, churning her way<br />

through the rest of the could-call-it food she’d piled there. When<br />

she finished, she walked her dish to the sink and made up a plate<br />

for him, wrapping it in plastic and putting it in the refrigerator<br />

for time future.<br />

She thought about going into the living room to read, but<br />

it was nice sitting in the kitchen, to be able to cross and uncross<br />

her legs without the discomfort of the couch belt. She exhaled<br />

38 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


contentedly, feeling cracks in her voice like the fissures that had<br />

ripped Earth apart. Visions of moving galaxies occupied her<br />

mind until she fell asleep.<br />

She woke to a noise and checked the clock to discover<br />

she’d slept for nearly two hours. Another noise floated down the<br />

hallway, coming from the rear bay. She heard the entrance hatch<br />

open and close, and then footsteps that echoed around the corner.<br />

She watched as he tiptoed by the kitchen, on his way to their<br />

bedroom. He stopped and looked in when he heard her laughing<br />

quietly.<br />

I figured you’d be asleep, he said, taking the seat across<br />

from her.<br />

I was, she said.<br />

Sorry I’m so late.<br />

That’s OK. How’d it go<br />

I’m on for two weeks, starting tomorrow. Pay isn’t bad,<br />

either.<br />

Good.<br />

They fell into silence. She thought about the plate in the<br />

refrigerator.<br />

You hungry<br />

He smiled, so she stood up and got the plate out. She<br />

placed it in the solar-powered microwave they both swore would<br />

have them sprouting extra limbs some day very soon, and waited<br />

until it beeped. He was peeling off his shoes when she set the plate<br />

down in front of him.<br />

She was quiet while he ate. After a few minutes, he started<br />

to slow down.<br />

Where’s the job, anyway<br />

The far side of BZ3150-NC615, northwest sector.<br />

Sounds beautiful.<br />

He laughed.<br />

It’s nice, actually, he said. I think you’d like it.<br />

Tell me about it.<br />

He told her about the way there and the way back and the<br />

there itself, of course. When he finished eating she stood up and<br />

February 2014 39


carried his plate to the sink. By the time she returned to the table<br />

he’d stopped talking and his eyes were closed.<br />

Do you want to go to bed she asked, and he shook his<br />

head.<br />

It’s nice talking like this, he said. Let’s talk like this awhile.<br />

He told her about star flares and feeling weightless<br />

and horizons that never saw a sunset. He told her about flying<br />

through nebulas and eclipses you couldn’t look in the eye and<br />

terraformed moons that looked exactly like home. After a while<br />

he closed his eyes again but went on talking. She closed her eyes,<br />

too, and tried to conjure up images to fit his words. She couldn’t<br />

do it. Inside her head was all blackness.<br />

She didn’t mind very much, figuring that, after all, most<br />

of the universe was blackness anyway, a series of gulfs between<br />

two bright points, a suburban night closing in on a dim upstairs<br />

window.<br />

Rob Andwood is a fiction writer from the Pine Barrens of<br />

southern New Jersey. He currently resides in Cambridge,<br />

Massachusetts, although he returns home at least once every<br />

year to continue his prolonged hunt for the elusive Jersey<br />

Devil. He is obsessed with rap music and superheroes.<br />

40 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


I.K. Paterson-Harkness<br />

Broken Egg<br />

1<br />

They come bounding at me bow-legged,<br />

expecting beaks like upside down spoons and brass eyes unblinking.<br />

Oi, get off, I skip backwards, I gave you the wheat!<br />

Don’t you remember pecking my hand and hearing me squeak<br />

I check for eggs inside the roosting shed, poke my head in,<br />

perceive a hen-like shape and beak swiveling my way.<br />

Oops, sorry—I say, retreat, retreat.<br />

A rock in your place, a sleeping cat, even,<br />

so stuffed with shadows, I’d think it a hen.<br />

Sometimes I hear you wailing all the way from the front fence.<br />

With misshapen eggs, I wonder why you lay.<br />

Maybe because, secretly, you enjoy the quiet, dark,<br />

the rustle of your feathers in the straw,<br />

the curve, the release.<br />

2<br />

My mother owns sixty-one eggcups<br />

though seldom eats her own eggs.<br />

They sit in a brown cabinet<br />

beside the lamp whose height hides a layer of dust.<br />

The rest of her house is spotless, of course.<br />

She’s a short woman, it’s not her fault.<br />

She tried to have more kids but was stuck with just the one,<br />

then my dad won big with the bonus bonds and moved away<br />

February 2014 41


with the lady who cut all our hair.<br />

Two of the eggcups were wedding presents.<br />

They sit front, center , polished brightly.<br />

Mum doesn’t receive many gifts.<br />

In the early eve she’s sleeve-deep in the garden<br />

speaking to her hens, upturning rocks.<br />

Beetles and millipedes have no safe nooks.<br />

I’ll never understand the pleasure she gets, digging potatoes,<br />

wrenching sticky weeds from the mischievous earth.<br />

She lays her carrots with care,<br />

side by side on the lilac rug we used to take to the beach.<br />

It’s covered in holes, I don’t know why she doesn’t biff it.<br />

I sit with her till dusk while she shovels compost, full of broken shells.<br />

She told me once that when hens eat a broken egg they get a taste.<br />

3<br />

Dad could catch a wave with his body, like a rocket,<br />

arms stretched straight in front, strong legs kicking.<br />

Mum and I skulked beneath the parasol, watching him.<br />

I hear he has three kids now—probably brown, and fit, like him.<br />

As a teenager I hated this farm.<br />

I’d climb the overgrown rhododendrons,<br />

perch like a pissed-off gargoyle, listing unfairnesses.<br />

There’s nothing fun about being a kid.<br />

When the doctor told me I couldn’t have any I was glad.<br />

Dad sent me a postcard once, from France,<br />

wrote it like he wrote them every week.<br />

I didn’t recognize the handwriting<br />

till Mum pointed out his name at the bottom.<br />

I remember she cried.<br />

She told me once she would’ve liked grandchildren.<br />

42 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


Sometimes I see you running wide-armed at me,<br />

scabby knees and bright eyes unflinching.<br />

I’ve seen plasters with pictures on them, at the supermarket, just for kids.<br />

Oi, get off, I tut, holding you at arm’s length<br />

and poking your tummy till you squeak.<br />

I. K. Paterson-Harkness hails from Auckland, New Zealand.<br />

Before picking up the pen (or rather laptop) she spent<br />

fifteen years firmly grasping a guitar—and released three<br />

albums locally. She gained degrees in both music and philosophy<br />

before returning to university in 2012 and completing<br />

a Masters of Creative Writing, and has since<br />

published several short stories and poems. She plans to<br />

write and publish many more songs and stories in the coming<br />

years. www.ikpatersonharkness.com<br />

February 2014 43


Jennifer Racek<br />

The Dragon Keeper<br />

Like Moses, the baby arrived in a reed basket. No river<br />

carried her, only the howling eddies of a blizzard flinging itself<br />

against his door. The river came later, when she left, and by then<br />

the basket was no more than ash. Maybe if he had pulled her<br />

from the river, claimed her as his own in that way, their little<br />

family could have remained as it should: a father, his daughter,<br />

the two dragons. Everything the world needed to be perfect.<br />

Instead, he had only the blizzard scraping the wooden<br />

logs of the outer wall and hissing icy breath underneath the door.<br />

That was how Minchka arrived in his life, heralded by a rattling<br />

knock.<br />

•<br />

Aleksandr shifted on the sleeping platform, rolling onto<br />

his back and adjusting the hay-filled sack that formed his pillow.<br />

The clay fireplace, white face dark with soot, trickled heat into<br />

the room, carrying the stench of fresh dung and moldy hay. His<br />

stomach rumbled, unsatisfied by the turnip and beet dinner of<br />

only an hour before. A knock sounded from the door.<br />

He shoved up onto an elbow and stared. Who would travel<br />

on such a night The sun had set hours ago. Besides, his home was<br />

far from the village, an hour’s hike through the forest. Only a fool<br />

would travel the Russian mountains during a storm. Or a witch.<br />

His hand dipped below the sleeping platform, groping for his<br />

short ax.<br />

Another knock, louder than the first. Aleksandr called<br />

out, “Lord’s blessing upon you.”<br />

If a witch stood outside the door, invoking the Lord would<br />

drive her away. A third knock sounded, quick and impatient.<br />

44 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


Aleksandr got to his feet. Despite the hearth fire, his fingers<br />

were stiff with cold and it took a long minute to unlatch the<br />

sinew tie that held the door locked.<br />

On his doorstep lay a large, snow-covered basket. Wind<br />

whined through the trees like an old woman’s wheezing breath.<br />

Babba Yagga come to steal his soul perhaps. Aleksandr shivered,<br />

glancing at the trees, and then dragged the basket inside. He<br />

slammed the door against the storm.<br />

The wailing of the wind outside gave way to a different<br />

wailing as something woke within the basket. The snow shivered<br />

and shifted, falling away so that he could see it was not snow, but<br />

a blanket covering a tiny babe. The child’s eyes were green as a<br />

beetle’s shell and fat tears rolled down her cheeks as she let out<br />

another howl. The blanket twitched and twisted, shimmying lower<br />

in the basket as something else moved under its heavy weight.<br />

He grabbed a corner of the blanket and pulled it back,<br />

prepared for another scrunched, crying face. Glittering dark eyes<br />

stared back at him instead. Two black creatures rested on either<br />

side of the baby, both watching Aleksandr. Long necks rose from<br />

plump, scaled bodies with tiny wings tucked tight against their<br />

backs. One of the creatures opened its jaws and flicked the air<br />

with its tongue. Rows of sharp fangs filled its mouth. Dragons.<br />

Aleksandr stumbled backwards, eyes wide.<br />

The child let out another wail, and Aleksandr edged closer.<br />

One of the dragons hissed, eyes fixed on him, and whipped<br />

its tail, thumping the side of the basket. The other dragon rested<br />

its head against the baby’’s chest, and she stopped crying. She<br />

hiccupped and blinked sleepy eyes, sucking on her chubby fist as<br />

she fell back asleep. Her little lips made wet, smacking sounds.<br />

The dragons curled closer, protecting the baby. No need to rescue<br />

the child, then.<br />

Aleksandr backed to the opposite wall and kept his distance<br />

from the foreign creatures, each equally terrifying. From<br />

a corner of the basket, he could see a roll of creamy yellow paper<br />

dappled with damp from the melting snow and held in place by a<br />

loose loop of vine. He ignored it, fearing the dragons’ fangs.<br />

February 2014 45


They spent the night in a standoff, dragons and baby on<br />

one side of the room, Aleksandr on the other. He slumped onto<br />

one of the benches built into the wall and watched the visitors<br />

warily, muttering prayers under his breath to ward off evil and<br />

bad luck.<br />

In the morning, the baby woke early with a whimper.<br />

Aleksandr startled awake, bumping his head against the wall<br />

and kicking over a clay jar at his feet. The jar rolled across the<br />

floor, hitting the hearth with a crack. Beets and pickling solution<br />

leaked out, filling the air with a sour-sweet smell. Both dragons<br />

stirred and curled more tightly around the baby, nudging her<br />

cheeks with their stubby snouts. This time, however, the babe<br />

would not be consoled, she wailed louder and louder, face red.<br />

Cautiously, one foot at a time, Aleksandr edged closer to<br />

the basket. The dragons nudged and chortled and whipped their<br />

tails, but the baby didn’t quiet. Aleksandr bent and stroked a finger<br />

down her cheek, keeping one eye on the dragons. Immediately,<br />

the baby turned her head and latched onto his finger, sucking<br />

the tip and then spitting it out and crying harder.<br />

“Lapushka,” Aleksandr whispered, “I have no milk to feed<br />

you.” He frowned and glanced at the jars and bowls, the hollow<br />

wood containers that marked his food store for the winter. There<br />

was nothing there he could give such a young child. What did<br />

babies eat other than milk Finally, Aleksandr reached for the paper<br />

he’d glimpsed the night before. He kept his movements slow,<br />

trying not to startle the dragons, but they were too distracted by<br />

the baby’s crying to pay attention to him.<br />

The paper was rolled into a column, tight and slender as a<br />

birch branch, and Aleksandr unrolled it carefully.<br />

Aleksandr,<br />

Be known of our daughter. Her name is Minchka. I bid you<br />

raise her well. I send you my dragonlings as a help. They will keep<br />

you both and bring prosperity on your home. Seven times seven is a<br />

halfling’s life, half of your world, half of mine.<br />

Sinivushka<br />

46 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


Aleksandr stared at the name, perplexed by the letters tangled<br />

like thorns. She’d never told him her name, and in the three<br />

evenings they spent together, he’d never asked it. Shame boiled<br />

under his skin. Glancing at the baby, he didn’t doubt Sinivushka’s<br />

claim. Like her mother, the child’s lips were tinged a soft blue, but<br />

the fuzz of hair on her head was as dark as Aleksandr’s. Her nose,<br />

too wide and flat was also his. Her eyes were her own, however,<br />

neither her mother’s soft blue nor her father’s dark brown. And<br />

unlike her mother, frost did not cling to the child like a cloak, she<br />

did not breathe the winter out with each exhalation. ‘Halfling’ the<br />

note said. Did he need any further confirmation of Sinivushka’s<br />

nature<br />

He’d lied to himself, hoped she might be a girl from one of<br />

the north villages visiting family, even with her strangeness. But<br />

no, Sinivushka was something else, something other than human.<br />

He had met her by the river, watched her walk barefoot next<br />

to the frozen water. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled<br />

at him, and nothing else in the world mattered. They had lain<br />

together and now, so long after Sinivushka had disappeared those<br />

months ago, he had a daughter. A beautiful, inhuman daughter,<br />

and no idea how to care for the child.<br />

Aleksandr cursed under his breath.<br />

One of the dragons raised its head and snapped at him.<br />

“I will curse if I want, you wretched beast,” Aleksandr<br />

snarled. “And just what am I supposed to do with a pair of dragons<br />

She said you would keep us and bring prosperity. More likely<br />

burn the house down.”<br />

One of the dragons uncoiled and stretched, unfurling<br />

wings as fragile as glass. The creature was hardly bigger than a cat<br />

and supremely unimpressive.<br />

“Much use you shall be,” Aleksandr muttered.<br />

All that time the baby cried—great heaving wails that<br />

seemed impossible for such a tiny thing. The dragon beside the<br />

basket padded to the door with clacking claws and bumped its<br />

snout impatiently against it. Aleksandr sighed.<br />

“I am servant to a dragon pup now.”<br />

February 2014 47


The door belched cold air into the room when he yanked<br />

it open, barely missing the dragon. The creature sent a spurt of<br />

flame at the tip of Aleksandr’s shoe as it skittered past and he<br />

leapt backward, stamping his feet frantically to put out the fire.<br />

“Wretched beast,” he bellowed after the dragon. Its black<br />

body disappeared into a snow bank, and Aleksandr slammed the<br />

door.<br />

The baby cried even louder. How by the Tsar’s court was<br />

such a thing possible He had to press both hands over his ears<br />

just to think. The other dragon, still curled beside the baby, glared<br />

reproachfully at Aleksandr.<br />

“It set my foot on fire!” Aleksandr yelled at the other dragon.<br />

The dragon snorted and tucked its head against the baby’s<br />

throat.<br />

He stormed toward the basket, half ready to chuck it, the<br />

dragon, and the baby out into the snow. The child’s mother had to<br />

be close by, didn’t she Anyway, the babe was half winter-wild—<br />

she’d be fine outside no matter how young she was. The other<br />

dragon hissed and bared its teeth at Aleksandr when he reached<br />

for the basket. Before either of them had a chance to discover if he<br />

really would have thrown the pair out, something knocked into<br />

the door from outside. Aleksandr whirled around, staring. Had<br />

Sinivushka come back for her child<br />

The thump came again, louder, more insistent. Aleksandr<br />

hurried to open the door, eager to pass the child off. The other<br />

dragon was back. And it had a goat with it. A huge, fat goat, with<br />

sides half as wide as the door and an exact miniature of itself<br />

trailing behind. Aleksandr could only stare.<br />

“W-w-where,” he stammered. The dragon outside shoved<br />

past him, flicking his knee with its tail, and the kid trotted after<br />

it, the nanny goat moving to follow as well.<br />

“Oh no,” Aleksandr bellowed. “I am not so low as to sleep<br />

with animals in my home. You. Goat. Stop!”<br />

The goat knocked him over and went right inside, shadowing<br />

her kid. The little procession clomped the few steps to the<br />

baby’s basket and stopped. Both dragons looked at Aleksandr<br />

48 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


expectantly.<br />

“I do not like goats.”<br />

The animals stared. The baby cried, hiccupping little sobs<br />

now, and the nanny goat baa-ed plaintively.<br />

Aleksandr sighed. He grabbed a chair and stomped over.<br />

With a bit of trial and error, he filled a bowl with milk from the<br />

goat’s swollen udders and, using a twist of cloth, the baby sucked<br />

the milk from the material hungrily. As steady as the ax falling<br />

when he chopped wood, his hand dipped into the bowl, soaked<br />

the cloth, and lifted it for the child. She drank for an hour until<br />

her little stomach was full and round as a piglet.<br />

In the following days, he built a small enclosure for the<br />

goat and her kid beside the house, adding to it until it was a proper<br />

shelter against the wind and snow. He had expected an angry<br />

farmer to show up at his door demanding the goat’s return, but<br />

none ever did. And so the goats stayed. And the baby stayed as<br />

well, burrowing into his life tight as a thorn tangled in cloth. Even<br />

the dragons remained, and in time, with her first words, Minchka<br />

named them: Zinfir and Dravij.<br />

On the night before Minchka’s seventh birthday, Dravij<br />

laid an egg. Aleksandr woke to the dragon’s pleased clicks as she<br />

crouched over it, nuzzling the thing with her snout. The eggshell<br />

was as muddy blue as the river before the first frost, and gold<br />

specks flecked the surface. Dravij had chosen one of Aleksandr’s<br />

boots as her nest and the leather tongue lolled out from under her<br />

paw, boot-strings tangled liked weeds, part of the heel propping<br />

up the egg while the rest lay in pieces around the dragon. His<br />

other boot, still intact, lay beside the door, as though Dravij had<br />

dragged it halfway across the room before deciding it wasn’t<br />

worth the effort. The boots were scarcely a month old.<br />

Wretched dragons! And now there were going to be three<br />

of them. He stared glumly at the egg.<br />

The next morning, when Minchka saw the egg for the first<br />

time, she squealed and leaped up and down, clasping her hands.<br />

February 2014 49


“A baby dragon! There’s going to be a baby dragon!” It was<br />

several minutes before she stopped dancing around. Then she<br />

quieted abruptly and looked uncertain. “It will be a dragon, won’t<br />

it, Papa It won’t be a child like me, will it”<br />

Her hand moved to the cord necklace she wore, fingers<br />

playing over the fragment of dragon’s egg she’d tied into it.<br />

Aleksandr coughed and nearly sucked half his beard<br />

down trying to get air back in his lungs. He’d kept the egg fragments<br />

he found in Minchka’s basket the night she arrived. The<br />

shell was hard as river ice and good for cutting bits of meat with<br />

its sharp edges. Minchka claimed the smallest piece when she<br />

was two, a jagged oval. The blue-grey sliver of shell, bright against<br />

Minchka’s dark smock, had given him the idea. So perfect. So<br />

easy. If the baby had hatched from an egg, then of course there<br />

was no way of knowing who her mother was or how to find her.<br />

He had spun the lie into a grand story and as he’d hoped, the tale<br />

quieted Minchka’s questions in later years.<br />

“Of course not! Just a dragonling, that’s all. The egg isn’t<br />

nearly big enough for a baby.”<br />

Minchka sagged against the wall and smiled. “Won’t it be<br />

wonderful, Papa A baby dragon!”<br />

“What’s wrong with the ones we’ve got” Aleksandr muttered.<br />

“They destroy the place well enough.”<br />

“Don’t be silly! Dravij and Zinfir are wonderful dragons,<br />

but they’re old. They aren’t babies.”<br />

“Old” he protested. “They’re only seven, same as you.<br />

Scarce bigger than lambs!”<br />

“They aren’t babies,” Minchka repeated, hands on her<br />

hips.<br />

He waved a hand in defeat. “They aren’t babies. Whatever<br />

they are, they need to get to work. It’s late.” He left Dravij to her<br />

egg but scooped up Zinfir and headed for the smokehouse. Zinfir<br />

could hold a controlled flame for five minutes solid and focus it<br />

enough to dry and smoke a side of venison in that time.<br />

Aleksandr had tried regular flames but they just cooked or<br />

burned the meat.<br />

50 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


As Sinivushka had promised in her note that long ago<br />

night, the dragons provided for Aleksandr and Minchka. They<br />

helped Aleksandr dry meat, creating delicate cuts and strips.<br />

Their claws, when shed, could be shaped into curved needles that<br />

were suited to leather work. The dragon’s scales glittered and<br />

shimmered in the light and made perfect ornamentation for pots<br />

or jewelry. By trading with the goods shop in Valminsky, Aleksandr<br />

was able to get whatever he and Minchka needed. He grew<br />

and preserved their own vegetables and their small herd of goats<br />

provided milk and dung for the fire. They were largely self-sufficient<br />

and Aleksandr preferred it that way.<br />

By midday, Minchka was driving Dravij and Aleksandr<br />

mad with her constant prattle about the egg and the way she hovered<br />

beside the dragon.<br />

“When do you think it will hatch, Papa When” Minchka<br />

demanded.<br />

Dravij snapped her fangs and curled more tightly around<br />

the egg, glaring at Minchka.<br />

“I don’t know,” Aleksandr muttered. “They’re not like<br />

birds.”<br />

The egg cracked open as Aleksandr tucked Minchka<br />

under her covers that night. The two halves fell apart in Dravij’s<br />

claws. She shoved her snout inside the shell and hunted for her<br />

baby. There was no dragonling, only a twist of paper like the<br />

one Aleksandr had received the night Minchka arrived. Dravij<br />

tipped the eggshell and the note out of her makeshift nest and<br />

searched the ripped leather desperately. She searched the room<br />

and then stood by the door, wheezing smoke and huffing. Zinfir<br />

approached and nuzzled her neck. Dravij made a hoarse sound<br />

that Aleksandr had never heard before, and then the two dragons<br />

curled into one another furling and unfurling their wings.<br />

Watching the two dragons, Minchka cried. Aleksandr<br />

cuddled her close to his chest as she sobbed. There was no baby<br />

dragon for either of them. He suddenly regretted his earlier<br />

thoughts. Another dragon would have been fine. It would have<br />

been perfect.<br />

February 2014 51


It was a long time before Minchka fell silent and Dravij<br />

and Zinfir retreated to their pile of rags beneath the sleeping platform.<br />

Only when Minchka was asleep did Aleksandr retrieve the<br />

note from the floor. His hands shook as he opened it.<br />

Seven times seven is a halfling’s life. It is time our daughter<br />

visited the other side of her nature, time she walked amid the ice<br />

and snow. She may bring three things only with her, none living.<br />

When she has chosen, send her into the woods under the full moon,<br />

where the two elms cross by the river. Before the moon sets she will<br />

be with me. Remember, aleksandr, she must walk in both worlds or<br />

none at all. I leave the dragons with you as compensation.<br />

Sinivushka<br />

The paper crackled like dry leaves underfoot as he crumpled<br />

it into a ball. How dare she demand Minchka! Hadn’t he<br />

loved the girl Hadn’t he taken her in and cared for Hadn’t he<br />

turned his life upside down for Minchka And where was her<br />

mother in all that time Where was Sinivushka when Minchka<br />

spoke her first words Where was Sinivushka when Minchka had<br />

trained the dragons to fetch river stones Her proudest accomplishment,<br />

getting those mad creatures to do tricks, and it was<br />

Aleksandr she had flung her arms around and laughed with when<br />

the first stone was spit at her feet.<br />

Through every moment of the girl’s life her mother had<br />

been absent and now she demanded he hand Minchka over Just<br />

send his daughter into the woods Alone He wouldn’t. Curse<br />

Sinivushka, curse her blue-lipped mouth, her cold eyes, her colder<br />

heart. Curse the day he’d ever met that winter-bound creature!<br />

Letter be damned, he was keeping his daughter.<br />

He stormed to the door and threw it open, flinging the<br />

note outside. The moon was high and full. Aleksandr staggered<br />

back. Though the moon looked the same as it had on other<br />

nights, he could see only Sinivushka’s face, laughing at him. He<br />

slammed the door on the moon and the night, turning away from<br />

them.<br />

52 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


By morning, Minchka was running a fever. Her small<br />

body felt dry and empty to his touch, a husk. Her lips cracked as<br />

though she’d swallowed dragon’s flame.<br />

“Papa,” Minchka said, shivering, “it’s so cold inside. Did<br />

the fire burn out” He piled blankets on top of her and patted her<br />

back.<br />

“No, the fire is still in the hearth. You are sick. It will be<br />

better by night.”<br />

But it was not. The fever burned so hot it was painful to<br />

touch her skin and Minchka cried out when Aleksandr brushed<br />

a lock of hair from her face. Her covers were soaked with sweat<br />

and her lips so dry they bled. He dribbled snow between her<br />

clenched teeth but it did no good. The fever would not break. Late<br />

in the second evening, she slipped so far into sleep, he could not<br />

wake her. Aleksandr shook her and shook her but she would not<br />

open her eyes. He slapped her cheeks and yelled, he rubbed her<br />

back and cajoled. She never stirred, breathing only shallowly. He<br />

slumped down, resting his head on the bed beside her, counting<br />

each halting breath. His eyes were wet and he felt desperate and<br />

wild. Helpless. Hopeless.<br />

“I’ll do it,” he whispered, reaching up to touch her cheek.<br />

He sat up and shouted the words at the bare walls, “Do you hear<br />

me, Sinivushka I will do it! I will give you our daughter. Only<br />

stop this. Let her live.” The words cracked and broke apart. Ice<br />

was slipping into his chest and wrapping around him, it choked<br />

his voice and made it hard to talk. “I will do it,” he whispered<br />

again. “Let her live.”<br />

There was nothing left inside of him, just a hollow place<br />

where he’d stored up all of Minchka’s laughter and smiles. He<br />

shivered and lay his head down beside her, counting her breaths<br />

until his own slowed and he fell asleep.<br />

A butterfly’s wing fluttered against his cheek and tickled<br />

him. Aleksandr dragged his eyes open, wincing at the river silt<br />

that felt lodged beneath each eyelid. Minchka watched him.<br />

“Papa,” she rasped, “I’m thirsty.” The butterfly’s wing<br />

touched his cheek again and he saw it was her fingers, lightly,<br />

February 2014 53


laboriously stretched out to him.<br />

Aleksandr leapt up, knocking his chair over. The two<br />

dragons, curled by his feet, skittered backward, hissing annoyance.<br />

“Of course.” He snatched a cup and poured fresh water<br />

into it, rushing back to her and tipping the cup to her lips.<br />

She sipped at the water, rolling it on her tongue before<br />

swallowing. “Thank you.”<br />

Aleksandr had to turn away so she didn’t see the tears<br />

dampening his beard.<br />

She ate a little bread that morning, and later, the soft<br />

crumbly cheese that was normally kept for holy days. They<br />

clustered together like birds waiting out a storm, Minchka on the<br />

sleeping platform, propped up amid a nest of blankets, Aleksandr<br />

in a chair beside her, constantly touching her face, her hands. He<br />

had to make sure she was real and still with him. The dragons<br />

moved easily from the sleeping platform to the floor, indifferent<br />

to human emotions. Dravij moved more slowly than Zinfir, and<br />

her head dipped often, tail dragging behind her. Minchka stroked<br />

the little dragon’s scales and whispered songs. Night wrapped<br />

around the house too soon, letting moonlight slip under the door.<br />

“Minchka,” Aleksandr said, drawing her attention away<br />

from Dravij, cradled in her lap. “You’re going to have an adventure.<br />

Your mother is waiting for you in the woods. She wants you<br />

to visit her for a little time. Then you can come back to me.” His<br />

voice cracked. “I know that you are still sick, but we have to go<br />

tonight. We must gather the things you will take.”<br />

She stared at him for a long moment. “I do not have a<br />

mother, Papa. I hatched from an egg.” Minchka touched the raw<br />

edge of her necklace.<br />

Aleksandr sighed. “Everyone has a mother, little one. Even<br />

if you have never met her.”<br />

“Is...is she a dragon”<br />

“No, not a dragon. She is beautiful,” he said carefully. “You<br />

can judge for yourself her nature. I knew her very little and it has<br />

been many, many years since I saw her last.”<br />

54 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


“But I want to stay with you,” Minchka whispered. Aleksandr’s<br />

breath caught in his chest and every part of him ached.<br />

He wanted to snatch her up and run away.<br />

“I want you to stay more than anything. But you must do<br />

this.”<br />

Minchka didn’t argue. Her docility worried him, a lingering<br />

effect of the fever that had nearly taken her life. She was<br />

so pale. How could she walk into the forest alone How could he<br />

let her go But then, how could he not He remembered trying to<br />

wake her, shaking her and shaking her and the lack of response.<br />

He remembered the way her breath had grown shallow and still<br />

until it seemed she might not breathe again at all.<br />

“What will you take with you” Aleksandr asked hoarsely.<br />

“You can bring only three things other than the clothes you<br />

wear.”<br />

“I will take you and Zinfir and Dravij.”<br />

Aleksandr hugged her tight against his chest. “We cannot<br />

come. You are not allowed to take anything living with you.”<br />

Minchka squirmed in his arms and he let her go reluctantly,<br />

settling back into his chair.<br />

“But I want to!”<br />

“I am sorry, little one. Choose something else. The dragons<br />

and I must stay.”<br />

“I won’t go without you, Papa. Don’t make me.” Tears<br />

filled Minchka’s eyes and she coughed, wheezing.<br />

Aleksandr stroked her hair. “You are a good girl Minchka,<br />

you must do this for me.”<br />

She was silent a long time, playing with the edge of her<br />

blanket.<br />

“Please, Minchka.”<br />

“I will take my doll,” she whispered, still crying. “The one<br />

with the blue kerchief. And my yellow hair comb with the flowers<br />

painted on it.”<br />

He sagged back in his chair. “And what more”<br />

She touched the necklace at her throat, running a finger<br />

over the shell’s edge as she had so often. “The dragon scale pouch<br />

February 2014 55


you made me last summer.”<br />

Aleksandr nodded. “Very well, I will gather them. You<br />

rest.”<br />

She lay with a dragon stretched on either side of her and<br />

watched as he moved around the room. Her comb was beside the<br />

water bowl and the pouch hung by the door. The doll, however,<br />

proved more elusive. Aleksandr searched beside the food jars,<br />

checked the hearth and the log pile. He looked under the small<br />

table and even inside the scrap bin where old clothes were set<br />

aside to be remade. He searched every corner of the tiny oneroom<br />

house, but he could not find the doll. Minchka’s bottom<br />

lip had begun to tremble and the dark half circles under her eyes<br />

deepened.<br />

“I have to have my doll, Papa, I can’t go without her,”<br />

Minchka pleaded.<br />

He swore under his breath and searched again, but still<br />

couldn’t find the doll. The moon was high in the sky. He had to<br />

send her into the forest now. If he did not....He considered it. Perhaps<br />

her illness had broken on its own. Perhaps it had nothing to<br />

do with Sinivushka. Aleksandr grimaced, Sinivushka was pulling<br />

them in like fish on a line. Struggling would only wound them<br />

more.<br />

“I am sorry, little one. I cannot find the doll. Will you take<br />

something else instead”<br />

Minchka began to cry but shook her head.<br />

He gathered Minchka in his arms, dislodging the dragons<br />

from the sleeping platform. They hissed but twined around<br />

his boots, nevertheless. And then he was walking outside, with<br />

Minchka, with the dragons. The moon was so bright it hurt his<br />

eyes, and he squinted.<br />

The walk down to the river took less than a quarter hour.<br />

Frost dusted the tree trunks and clung in a hard crust over the<br />

ground. The crunch of his boots was loud as musket fire. He<br />

found the two elms easily. Minchka was so light in his arms, so<br />

small. She wobbled, clutching his arm when he set her on her feet.<br />

Beyond them the river burbled and rushed, singing a dirge.<br />

56 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


“You have to walk on your own from here.”<br />

Her face was white as the stones beside the water. “I’m<br />

scared, Papa.”<br />

“I’ll stay right here, and you’ll be with your mother soon.<br />

Just walk between those trees,” he pointed at the trunks which<br />

twined together like a cathedral arch, delicate limbs ornamenting<br />

each side.<br />

Zinfir and Dravij huffed smoke and twined fitfully around<br />

Aleksandr’s ankles like oversize cats.<br />

Minchka shook, clutching her yellow comb in one hand,<br />

the other hand hanging at her side. She turned and stumbled<br />

toward the trees, and then she was through them. The shadows<br />

of the forest swallowed her. The dragons lay at his feet, still and<br />

silent. The three of them stayed there until the sun broke over the<br />

trees and chased the night away. The light fell cold and hard, as<br />

empty as the world. Aleksandr walked to the two trees, staring at<br />

the ground. Five steps from the river’s edge, Minchka’s footsteps<br />

vanished. Aleksandr knelt and pressed his hand into the damp,<br />

hard earth where she had walked. Tears froze on his cheeks.<br />

He delayed as long as he could, but eventually he and the<br />

dragons returned to the house. He hadn’t eaten for more than a<br />

day and hadn’t felt the cold for hours—a dangerous sign. Somehow,<br />

he had to keep drawing in breath, getting through the hours<br />

because one day, Minchka would come back. One day she’d<br />

return to his world, and he had to be here when she did.<br />

Seven times seven is a life. How could he possibly survive<br />

seven years without her<br />

The days moved slowly. First a year passed and then another.<br />

Aleksandr’s hair began to gray and thin. The winter carved itself<br />

into his face, roughening his skin and deepening the lines and<br />

wrinkles.<br />

The last day of his interminable wait dragged on longer<br />

than all seven years combined. The sun moved sluggishly in the<br />

sky. Zinfir and Dravij snapped irritably at the air, shooting tiny<br />

February 2014 57


flames at one another and huffing. Aleksandr ignored them,<br />

glancing at the sun again and again. Why wouldn’t the damn<br />

thing move Finally, blessedly, the night came.<br />

He stayed in front of the house until the moon was high<br />

overhead and the cold made his bones feel heavy as oxen. The<br />

dragons nipped at his feet and drove him inside. So he waited in<br />

his chair by the fire. In his lap, Aleksandr cradled Minchka’s doll,<br />

hands loosely closed over the little cloth chest. He had found the<br />

tiny doll a week after Minchka left, wedged amid the rags the two<br />

dragons used as a nest beneath the sleeping platform. One of the<br />

dragons had sharpened its teeth on the carved wood of the doll’s<br />

face, making deep gouges like the tracks of tears. It was a child’s<br />

toy and his daughter was no longer a child. Seven years gone,<br />

but he could not picture her as anything other than the little girl<br />

he’d held that last night. The doll wasn’t even a proper present as<br />

Minchka had already owned the thing. But she had loved the doll<br />

so much. Would she still Would she still love him<br />

The night trickled away with no sign of Minchka. She<br />

had to come. She had to. His fingers tapped out the minutes on<br />

the chair arm. The fire burned lower in the hearth but he didn’t<br />

add more wood. His legs wouldn’t work anymore. If she didn’t<br />

come....<br />

When morning’s first pink touched the sky and Aleksandr’s<br />

eyes had drifted shut, there was a knock on the door.<br />

Aleksandr started awake. The knock came again. He was frozen.<br />

Unable to open the door and see. If it wasn’t her he was afraid<br />

something would break inside him that couldn’t ever be fixed.<br />

“Papa” A soft voice called.<br />

His breath caught and he clutched the doll tighter.<br />

“Papa, are you there”<br />

Aleksandr’s hands trembled as he rose and shuffled to<br />

the door like an old man. The dragons snorted smoke rings in<br />

disgust, racing to the door and back five times before he reached<br />

it. The wood was cold and pitted beneath his palm.<br />

“Minchka” Aleksandr whispered. His hands shook harder<br />

but he fumbled the door open.<br />

58 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


Snow covered the ground outside. There was no reed<br />

basket this time. A girl stood on his doorstep, foreign, fey. Her<br />

chin was pointed and cheeks too sharp. Green eyes. Dark hair<br />

dotted with snow. Blue lips. Her nose was wide and flat, marring<br />

the pretty face and making it easier to look at her. She would have<br />

been too perfect otherwise. She was beautiful as a winter storm.<br />

“Minchka” Aleksandr whispered again.<br />

She looked up at him and smiled. Minchka’s smile.<br />

“Hello, Papa.”<br />

Aleksandr wrapped her in a hug and the little doll fell to<br />

the ground. With the sun scrabbling its way higher in the sky,<br />

they stood in the doorway a long, long time and the dragons<br />

twined around their feet, claws clicking, flames bursting from<br />

their snouts. All around them, the snow began to melt.<br />

A programmer by day,<br />

Jennifer Racek loves writing<br />

stories on the train during<br />

her commute to downtown<br />

Dallas. In her spare time,<br />

she runs a writing critique<br />

group, a YA book club, a<br />

Harry Potter meetup group,<br />

and participates in far too<br />

many craft swaps. Mrs. Racek lives with her husband, two<br />

children, two dogs, a cat, and a hedgehog named Percy<br />

Jackson. You can find out more about the author and read<br />

samples of her writing at http://www.jcracek.com.<br />

February 2014 59


Leila Fortier<br />

~Punctuated~<br />

Why<br />

Am I always<br />

Somewhere in between<br />

Missing you Punctuated with<br />

Absence~ Spaces yet to be filled by<br />

Our silences~ There is an unraveling<br />

Of soul upon the ether~ The trajectory<br />

Of fingertips in search of identical<br />

Prints~ You hear me as though from a distance inside of<br />

You~ Kinetic resonance within perpetual yearning~<br />

All embellishment aside~ You still linger at<br />

The end of every sentence~ As the<br />

One word left I cannot say~<br />

I swallow you again<br />

…Like the sun…<br />

Like the<br />

M<br />

o<br />

o<br />

n<br />

.<br />

60 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


Leila Fortier<br />

~Offerings~<br />

*<br />

Oh<br />

Honeyed globe<br />

Of sunlight~ bleeding your<br />

Vital pigments into a watercolor<br />

Wash across the canopy of blue sky~<br />

You shed your apple perfume~ the leaves<br />

Will drink your offerings in starving admiration<br />

A feast of forbidden color~ whirling dervishes of<br />

Saffron reds and burnt turmeric~ falling in whispers<br />

Of inebriation~ mired into cool streams of liquid glass<br />

Paper boats bobbing upon crystal crests~ the mirror of<br />

Every reflection~ tumbling over pebbles of thought;<br />

Zen-stones of consciousness now wet with meditation~ sobriety comes to be born<br />

Once again~ the inevitable seep back into the marrow of roots~ nourishing<br />

Serpentine lovers~ knotted in kisses; uprooted by their lovemaking~<br />

A tangled climb up the textured bark of existence~ terrain<br />

Of all memory~ bares its silent testimony into<br />

The branches~ the tree of life~<br />

Always reaching...<br />

Back to<br />

You<br />

*<br />

February 2014 61


Leila Fortier<br />

~Impossible Geometry~<br />

She claims she has no passions or interests~ Nothing special or unique~ Nothing worthy to be<br />

Noted, she says~ She claims no specialty save for the memory of holding her daughter<br />

In a body bag~ No specialty less than a her unshakable faith~ How she<br />

Clawed through an earthen purgatory weighted with a cross<br />

None would wish to bear- through the fruitless search<br />

And agony of waiting~ Sixty-eight days of<br />

Limbo and fire walking~ Revealing<br />

Only her unfathomable face<br />

Of grace~ There must<br />

Be something<br />

More than<br />

…This…<br />

My<br />

Mind is snared in a web of equations~ An impossible geometry barren of answers~<br />

I suppose this is where God comes in...I want to fill her absences~ Smooth<br />

Over her emotional scars~ Like a shining spoon- A moon without<br />

Cavity~ A terrainless expanse for her taking~ I wanted to<br />

Pry open the ribcage of her resistance~ Fill her<br />

With musicality; New world, new womb;<br />

Creation, paint, and poetry~ Give<br />

Her a way to speak through<br />

Her hands~ Because<br />

I believe even her<br />

Fingers listen<br />

There is<br />

Not a<br />

Part<br />

Of<br />

62 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


Her that does not listen~ I wanted to bring her these gifts<br />

The way that the wise men brought gifts to Jesus~<br />

But I am only wise enough to know that<br />

I cannot fill her absences, and<br />

That it is no wonder at<br />

All that she was<br />

Given the<br />

Name<br />

M<br />

a<br />

r<br />

y<br />

Leila A. Fortier is a poet, artist,<br />

and photographer currently<br />

residing in Okinawa, Japan<br />

while pursuing her BFA in creative<br />

writing through Southern<br />

New Hampshire University. Her<br />

sculpted poetry is often accompanied<br />

by her own multi-medium<br />

forms of art, photography,<br />

and spoken performance. The<br />

use of italics in her text forms a symbolic representation of<br />

inner dialog while the tilde lends to the fluidity and continuum<br />

of her thought processes. Selections of her work have been<br />

translated into French, Italian, Spanish, Arabic, and German in<br />

a growing effort to foster cultural diversity and understanding<br />

through the voice of poetry. With over one hundred publishing<br />

credits, her work in all its mediums has been featured in a vast<br />

array of publications both in print and online. A complete listing<br />

of her published works can be found at: www.leilafortier.com<br />

February 2014 63


Devyani Borade<br />

Sky’s the Limit<br />

The aeroplane takes off like an arrow towards an unknown<br />

destination. The wind lifts the plane’s wings, giving<br />

them the required thrust to gain altitude rapidly. Twin headlights<br />

cleave a path through the darkness as the dull roar of its engines<br />

carries clearly on the cold night air.<br />

Five pairs of eyes are turned up towards it, watching the<br />

lights steadily climb higher. The dull eyes of a prostitute lying<br />

motionless in a dingy room as a paying customer grimly goes to<br />

work on her for his money’s worth, see an unattainable escape to<br />

another life. The indifferent eyes of a constable as he struggles to<br />

create order, see a vehicle that thankfully does not add to the burgeoning<br />

traffic snarl on the ground. The unblinking sharp eyes of<br />

an air traffic controller watching aircraft activity in the vicinity,<br />

see only a dark speck on a green screen and visions of another<br />

month’s salary if it doesn’t disappear. The sightless eyes of a man<br />

dead on the pavement, crushed under the wheels of yet another<br />

rich tycoon driving drunk, see nothing.<br />

The fifth pair of eyes belong to a small boy perched high<br />

64 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


atop the hill where only fearless crows and toiling ants venture.<br />

There is worship in these young warm brown eyes; worship,<br />

mixed with great longing. As Akash swings his legs unconcernedly<br />

over the lip into the void below, he lunges forward with<br />

outstretched hands as though to snatch the plane out of the sky<br />

in his grubby fingers. For a moment, he is precariously balanced.<br />

Then his center of gravity rights itself, and oblivious to the danger<br />

that has nearly touched his four-year-old life, he leans back with a<br />

sigh. The sigh mimics the ache in his heart. It is a sigh of aborted<br />

desire, of hopelessness, of frustration with his current situation,<br />

of festering resentment at the unfairness of the world.<br />

“I wish I had an aeroplane!” he whispers. It is a wish he<br />

has expressed often— to the birds trilling shrilly in the trees, to<br />

the sun rising and setting in all its majestic grandeur, to the cow<br />

that lows every morning under his window, to the stones that are<br />

mute witnesses to life. So far, though, neither the birds, nor the<br />

sun, nor the cow, nor the stones have been able to fulfil it. Akash<br />

can’t help but think the universe must be conspiring against him.<br />

Rousing himself, he twists around and rests his naked<br />

bum against the leeward side of the hill, which has been worn<br />

smooth by his many visits. As he slides down with practiced ease,<br />

his oversized shirt flares out like a parasail and hides the shallow<br />

drop from view. Plop! He lands softly on his feet like a cat<br />

and begins meandering homewards. A dirty tramp salutes him<br />

and rasps something. Akash sticks his tongue out at him. Now<br />

and then he pauses to investigate roadside treasures that may be<br />

of interest, and duly resumes his journey. He passes a toy shop<br />

with many exciting things on display: a large jack-in-the-box, a<br />

doll that rights itself when you kick it down, a grave looking tin<br />

soldier, a jolly clown, a hideous ogre mask, a train with twinkling<br />

lights. His nose pressed against the glass, he gazes inside. He has<br />

eyes for only one thing: a beautiful blue airplane model hanging<br />

from the ceiling, soaring upwards.<br />

Within minutes of reaching home, he is pestering his<br />

mother, following her around doggedly, holding on to the hem<br />

February 2014 65


of her sari as she goes about her business. “What do you want,<br />

child” she asks him, running her hand affectionately through his<br />

spiky hair.<br />

“Aeroplane,” he replies promptly.<br />

“Not again! Do you know how big aeroplanes are”<br />

Akash nods several times, eager to show that he knows.<br />

“As big as my forearm,” he says, holding out his hand and pulling<br />

up his sleeve to show his elbows. “And they have huge lights in<br />

the front,” he says, cupping both palms into the size of a bowl in<br />

front of his face. “Smaller lights on the wings.” Now the fingers<br />

are squeezed together and the eyes squinched onto a spot.<br />

His mother breaks into peals of laughter. “Is that so No,<br />

little one, you’re wrong. Aeroplanes are very, very big. As big as<br />

our building. Even bigger. People sit inside them. Can you imagine<br />

that” Akash’s eyes widen and he shakes his head slowly.<br />

“Now what makes you think I can get you something that big”<br />

“Because you’re my Ma, na You are old. You can do<br />

anything,” he replies, puzzled by her question. “And they have<br />

upright tails that don’t move. Not like the fish in the canal,” he<br />

adds belatedly. How could he have been so absent-minded as to<br />

forget that!<br />

His mother looks at the chagrin on his face and laughs<br />

again. “Go and wash your hands. Look how filthy they are! Have<br />

you been climbing up that silly hill again You’re not eating like<br />

that.” And with a pat on his bum he is sent on his way.<br />

Morsels of the most delectable feast will not satisfy the<br />

hunger in his heart. Even so, with great reluctance, Akash sets<br />

off in the direction of the tap, but midway he veers off. Fine. If no<br />

one will get him an aeroplane, he will get one himself. Within<br />

minutes, utterly oblivious to his surroundings and the smell of<br />

food gnawing at his insides, he is absorbed in his game. “Wrroooooooommm,”<br />

his pursed lips whimper softly as deft hands<br />

hold aloft a paper plane and wave it all around the room. Over a<br />

rickety chair, along the occasionally chipped grey expanse of the<br />

old refrigerator’s side, past the open window with its faded and<br />

billowing curtains, under the tail of a neighborhood stray dog<br />

66 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


lying listlessly on the mosaic floor, even between the legs of his<br />

father who is now chewing paan and preparing to spit out the<br />

juice—the paper plane flies faithfully as fast as Akash’s legs can<br />

run. The uneven terrain of the sofa is a battlefield strewn with the<br />

remains of today’s newspaper, a pair of scissors, and a few grains<br />

of mud from his barefoot heels.<br />

A familiar hand lightly cuffs his ear and the little boy<br />

howls in protest. This sets off the dog that joins in the cacophony<br />

and for a while the yowling continues uninterrupted.<br />

“You little monster! Why did you tear up today’s newspaper<br />

Don’t you know your father hasn’t read it yet Look at it! It’s<br />

completely ruined!” yells his mother.<br />

“I was making an aeroplane,” replies the boy indignantly and<br />

runs off before he receives his retribution.<br />

Away from the incessant loud arguments of the adults<br />

above the shrill background of the television squawking, he<br />

blinks back tears and stares up at the sky where another plane’s<br />

lights are twinkling. Whether they are beckoning him or taunting,<br />

he can’t tell. He waves vigorously until they are swallowed up<br />

in the darkness. Then he squats down and picks up some pebbles.<br />

Under the unconscious instruction of his wrists, they re-arrange<br />

themselves into a simple outline of an aeroplane. What had Ma<br />

said Do people really sit inside them Surely there must be a<br />

conductor who checks tickets and throws you out at the next stop<br />

if you don’t have one, the little boy thinks, remembering the rides<br />

he has frequently taken on the overcrowded red state transport<br />

buses.<br />

•<br />

He can see his face in the smooth black leather, it is that<br />

polished. The man seems pleased too, for he flicks not one but<br />

two coins down at the eleven year old and swaggers away. Akash<br />

carefully picks up the money and tucks it out of sight under a<br />

threadbare mat below his right hip.<br />

February 2014 67


“Shoe shine! Shoe shine! Get your shoes polished here!<br />

Smooth and sparkling, we take care of your footwear in five minutes!<br />

Cheap shoe shine!” He scans the crowds pouring out from<br />

the railway station for potential customers. In this heat, most<br />

people are clad in cool sandals and slippers, but occasionally<br />

there steps out a smart young man on the way to his first interview,<br />

or a rich mogul back from a successful business deal who<br />

may be in an expansive mood. Akash glances at the cheap plastic<br />

watch on his wrist. 12:13. He squints up into the sun expectantly.<br />

An almost indiscernible whine heralds the Air France aeroplane<br />

as it makes its customary daily flight to the continent. Akash<br />

grins to himself and feels the familiar peace steal over him as he<br />

drifts into his usual daydream. How it must feel to sit on plush<br />

seats inside a cool cabin. How Chacha said they give you food and<br />

drink free!<br />

Tap. Tap tap. A customer taps his foot on the wooden<br />

stand and Akash gets to work on his shoes.<br />

“Gooooood day, sir! What a lovely pair of shoes. No,<br />

really, I see many types of shoes all day everyday, so I know.<br />

These are really of a very good quality. You should shine them<br />

often to keep the leather soft and malleable. So, did you watch<br />

the cricket match yesterday Ah, what a super sixer Tendulkar<br />

struck! Beautiful.” His brush pauses its incessant rubbing to<br />

make an elaborate arc in the air as he gestures the trajectory of<br />

the ball. “Went clean over the boundary. About thirty yards or<br />

so, I reckon. Definitely one for the record books. Pity we couldn’t<br />

maintain the early lead in the end. If the tail-enders had kept the<br />

momentum up, we could have easily won, eh What do you reckon<br />

No What’re you saying, sir! That wicket was a dream. Fast<br />

outfield, too. Those foreigners sure know how to make a pitch, eh<br />

You ever been abroad, sir No Ah, me neither! But one day I will<br />

definitely go. In a big aeroplane.” Again the brushing hand pauses<br />

to sweep the air around his head. “Watch an Ashes match. Live!<br />

At Lords. Did you know-” Like a professional, Akash keeps up a<br />

constant stream of nonsensical chatter which is a better source<br />

of local news than any newspaper, regional television channel, or<br />

68 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


adio station. Without looking up, he knows that the 12:19 British<br />

Airways flight with its distinctive blue colors will be taking off<br />

from the northbound airstrip right about now.<br />

“Chacha, tell me again about your Dubai flight,” urges<br />

Akash later that night at home as he watches his uncle wash his<br />

face, hands, and feet and step over the threshold of the room. Unconsciously<br />

he tugs at his uncle’s dhoti which is sharply yanked<br />

away in indignation. “Go away! Try to trouble somebody else<br />

once in a while. Every minute this fellow is after me to tell him<br />

about the aeroplane. Not a moment of rest. Shoo! Go and get me<br />

a glass of water to drink,” says his uncle irritably and flaps him<br />

away.<br />

A couple of hours later, feeling generous after a satisfactory<br />

meal, his uncle bids him sit down. “So there I was, walking<br />

along this huge…” For the next hour or so, the boy, sometimes<br />

lounging on his stomach, sometimes sitting upright cross-legged<br />

with his chin cupped in his hand, listens enthralled as visions<br />

of unimagined beauty and luxury are conjured up by his uncle<br />

who’s been to Dubai on an aeroplane.<br />

•<br />

“Next.”<br />

“Namaste, sir.”<br />

“Name”<br />

“Akash.”<br />

“Father’s Name”<br />

“Hari Prasad.”<br />

“Age”<br />

“Erm, about fifty or fifty-five. I can’t be sure, though. Is it<br />

important”<br />

“Imbecile! Not your father’s age! Yours.”<br />

“Oh. Sorry, sir.”<br />

“Well”<br />

February 2014 69


“What, sir”<br />

“So what’s your age, you fool!”<br />

“Oh, sorry, sir. Nineteen, sir.”<br />

“Tch. Address”<br />

“Room No. 3, Ramani Bhavan, Chiragnagar.”<br />

“Hmm. Who do you want to meet”<br />

“The senior Mr. Shah.”<br />

“What for”<br />

“I want to ask him if he has a position vacant for me.”<br />

“Hmph. How much have you studied”<br />

“Almost up to class three, sir! I can recite the alphabet and<br />

I know numbers in English too. My teacher used to say that I was<br />

very clever. Sir, would you like to hear a poem”<br />

Large black eyes stare at him from under thick square<br />

lenses. “Do I look like your school teacher” asks the man at the<br />

reception, his moustache bristling with irritation.<br />

“Hai, no, sir, not at all!” smiles Akash and shakes his head<br />

with his tongue between his teeth. “My teacher was a woman,<br />

sir.”<br />

“Shut up! Mr. Shah can’t see you yet. He’s busy. Wait here.”<br />

The man dismisses him by pointedly picking up a large register<br />

and opening it. The name plate on his table falls off with a loud<br />

clatter. The letters R. TYAGI stare back at Akash with insolence.<br />

“But, sir, I’ve already been waiting for an hour.”<br />

“I said, didn’t I, that he’s busy Don’t you understand<br />

Hindi And use your eyes. See this long line of people They are<br />

all waiting to meet him. Now go stand somewhere else and don’t<br />

bother me. Next!”<br />

“You’ll work with my men in the logistics department,”<br />

says Mr. Shah when Akash finally steps into his office after four<br />

hours. “They haul luggage to and from the planes. There’s just one<br />

rule: no damage. Absolutely none, you understand” He pauses<br />

and tilts his chin up in question. Ruthless. His eyes are so ruthless,<br />

Akash thinks. And nods.<br />

“In this job, other people’s possessions are our livelihood.<br />

70 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


You break something and you’re out of a job. No exceptions. Our<br />

merchandise is far too valuable to allow our workers to afford<br />

more than one mistake. These foreigners—their perfume bottles<br />

cost more than my manager’s quarterly wages! I would be bankrupt<br />

within the week. Oh, and speaking of money, your salary<br />

will be four hundred rupees a month, okay It’s not much but I<br />

hope you can save enough to fulfil your dreams, whatever they<br />

might be. I’ll send Tyagi to explain the details. Good luck.”<br />

“Thank you, sir. You won’t regret it, I promise,” Akash<br />

breathes. Aeroplanes, his heart replies.<br />

It is a wet morning. Akash opens his eyes and out of habit<br />

looks up at the sky. Naturally the clouds have hidden it, but he<br />

can hear the faint drone of the twin engine glider circling above.<br />

“Always waiting for his turn to land, poor sod.” He shakes his<br />

head, sits up, and gathers the bedclothes into a rough pile. “First<br />

day on the job, better not be late.”<br />

By the time the rest of the world is dragging itself blearyeyed<br />

out of bed, Akash and his new colleagues are already hard at<br />

work.<br />

“So where do you come from” asks Shanker, a sandy-haired<br />

youth with an air of disinterest. His jaw is busily working<br />

at chewing a matchstick.<br />

“Originally from Vikhroli. Now I live in Chiragnagar,”<br />

Akash replies as he hefts a large brown case. “Oof. How heavy<br />

this stuff is!”<br />

“Nice shirt. Yours”<br />

“No, I borrowed it from a friend. I don’t have any of my<br />

own. Do we have to wear shirts every day It’s so hot.”<br />

“Of course! You want the customers to think we live in the<br />

slums or what”<br />

“But we do live in slums. Aargh! Whew! Good thing my<br />

back is strong. What do people carry in such large boxes How<br />

long have you been working here”<br />

“A year. And this is my own shirt. I’m from Dharavi.”<br />

Akash grunts in reply. He really must save enough to get<br />

February 2014 71


himself some decent clothes. How long will he keep borrowing<br />

from people At this rate, he will run out of friends!<br />

“Can you read or write” asks Shanker.<br />

“No, not enough to speak of. Can you”<br />

“Sure! And fast too. And neat. I even have my own pen,”<br />

Shanker claims proudly. “Every so often, Tyagi gives me the ink<br />

pot from the office when there are a few dregs left in it.”<br />

“Hey, then will you write a letter for me” Akash asks<br />

eagerly.<br />

“It’s twenty rupees per page.”<br />

Akash’s face falls.<br />

“But since you’re new here, I’ll give you a discount. Fifteen<br />

rupees. And you have to make me tea every day for a week. Take<br />

it or leave it.”<br />

At this rate, it’ll take him longer to save for his first flight<br />

than he thought. But there’s no help for it. He has to write to Ma<br />

at least once a month, otherwise she’s liable to worry herself and<br />

become ill.<br />

“I’ll come to your hut tonight after work, shall I” says<br />

Akash, with hope in his voice. “I’ll pay you when I get my salary.”<br />

“Suit yourself. Whom are you writing to Got yourself<br />

a foxy girlfriend back in Chiragnagar, have you, eh” Shanker<br />

winks lecherously as the other youths snigger.<br />

“Oh no! I have to write to my Ma,” Akash turns red and<br />

busies himself with the boxes.<br />

“What It’s only your first day yet. What are you going to<br />

tell her” asks Shanker with incredulousness.<br />

“Well, nothing much. I’ll just tell her how happy I am to<br />

be working so close to the planes. And that I have made some<br />

friends and got a shack to live in for the time being. And that I<br />

promise to eat my meals on time and take care of myself. And<br />

remind her to take her medicines on time as well. She forgets<br />

very easily. It’s the curse of old age.” A pensive smile appears on<br />

Akash’s face. “And that I am perfectly safe here. She’s scared that<br />

I’ll somehow hurt or kill myself by being so near the big aeroplanes.<br />

That they’ll run over me or something!”<br />

72 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


The boys laugh and for a while they work in silence—<br />

Shanker and the others rapidly with practiced motions, Akash<br />

laborious and painstakingly.<br />

“Hey, rookie! That’s not how you handle this stuff. Watch.”<br />

Shanker whistles and winks at another boy working nearby.<br />

The boy grins and ambles over. Shanker suddenly grabs the<br />

brown case that Akash has kept on the ground, heaves it with a<br />

jerk and sweeps his arms around. And then he lets it fly.<br />

“Hey! Watch out! It looks delicate!” Akash cries out in<br />

dismay. But the other boy is standing by alert to the action and<br />

catches the case just before it hits the ground and eases it down<br />

gently. Akash lets out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.<br />

“What clowns you guys are. What if something had broken”<br />

“Nah. Nothing will happen. That’s the only way to move<br />

these big fat cases of the big fat rich people. Otherwise you’ll be<br />

working here till midnight,” replies Shanker nonchalantly. “Now<br />

you try.”<br />

“No way.”<br />

“Oh, don’t be such a pansy. C’mon. Trust me.”<br />

“Are you sure I don’t feel very comfortable with this.”<br />

“Of course. Look, would I want to get you into trouble Go<br />

on. It’s easy. And fun!”<br />

“Well, okay. Hungph!” Akash lifts another brown case<br />

marked ‘Fragile’ and swings it.<br />

Crash!<br />

A thousand glass bottles smash into smithereens.<br />

The world freezes.<br />

Akash’s blood runs cold.<br />

Shanker and his friend bark with laughter.<br />

“You muppet! You should’ve warned which one of us you<br />

were throwing it to! Now you’re going to get it.”<br />

“Hee hee, what a muppet!”<br />

Akash hears the crash in silence. He hears his dream of<br />

flying in an aeroplane shattering with it.<br />

February 2014 73


•<br />

He watches the dancing water gradually become calm<br />

even as he readies to disturb it again. One callused hand fingers<br />

the smooth, round, flawless surface of the second pebble.<br />

At twenty-eight, his eyes, though still young and sharp, are red<br />

rimmed and hooded with crusty lids and small sparse eyelashes.<br />

At the moment they are narrowed and shielded by his shaggy<br />

eyebrows, puckered and closing ranks together against the<br />

blazing afternoon sun. With the other hand he brushes back a<br />

lock of hair soggy with sweat and moisture from the humid air of<br />

Fatehpur. He knows he must be smelling richly by now. His master<br />

made him work extra hard that morning. Perhaps he can take<br />

a quick dip in the river. His dark skin is sheathed with a sheer<br />

patina of perspiration, the corded muscles making little rivulets<br />

run down the contours of his body. He is wearing only a soiled<br />

loin cloth on his body and nothing else.<br />

Akash shuffles into a more comfortable position, making<br />

shallow furrows into the silt as he squats at the banks of the<br />

stream. The mud leaves thin streaks of grime on his bare, cracked<br />

heels. He is gazing at the undulations of the dirty currents when<br />

he hears his name being called out in the distance.<br />

“Aka-aa-sh! Where has that no good wretch got to Oy!<br />

Akash! What are you doing there wasting time Saheb has more<br />

work for you to do. Come back to the mines at once.”<br />

Hurriedly Akash waggles his fingers in the water in a<br />

half-hearted attempt to wash his hands and gets to his feet. A<br />

steaming pile of feces remains behind; its tip peaked off like an<br />

icecream cone’s. As if on cue, an aeroplane shrieks across the sky<br />

overhead from the airfield nearby, and a flock of birds take flight<br />

in alarm, their squawking adding to the din. Akash glances up<br />

at the sky wistfully, then shakes his head and strides away into<br />

the dark yawning opening that forms the entrance of the mines.<br />

He had his chance years ago. His golden opportunity—in Mr.<br />

Shah’s air freight company. And he blew it. He really ought to<br />

stop dreaming of the heavens. His home is now the bowels of the<br />

74 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


earth.<br />

When the blast rocks the quarry, it sends shock waves several<br />

meters away. Loose stones tumble down hills and raise more<br />

dust as men rush in a panic into the cave. There is pandemonium<br />

everywhere.<br />

“Arre, get some water, hurry!”<br />

“Has anybody called the ambulance Somebody call the<br />

ambulance!”<br />

“God, what peril is this! Surely He is testing us!”<br />

“How many are inside”<br />

“Don’t know. Here’s the water! Don’t go in there just like<br />

that! Here, cover your mouth. And watch your step!”<br />

“This is the fourth blast in eleven months! But that tyrant<br />

will still insist on making men work here! May God rot his ancestral<br />

tree!”<br />

“Arre, has anybody taken a head count yet”<br />

“Here come the paramedics, thank goodness!”<br />

“Quickly! Let’s hope some of those poor buggers are alive.”<br />

“You! Go with these doctors. Doctor, don’t breathe too<br />

deeply, okay There may be a lot of gas still in there.”<br />

Hours pass. Families are huddled in terror outside.<br />

Makeshift stretchers from hastily gathered rags are laid out on<br />

the ground. Helpers are standing by at the ready. Small children<br />

run around yelling and playing, unaware that there is something<br />

wrong. The news of the mishap has reached the ears of the media<br />

and a few camera crews with their ubiquitous large microphones<br />

are gathered around like flies attracted to carcass. Now and again,<br />

important looking well-heeled men and women mutter into their<br />

lapels in grave and hushed tones. Some meters away, a scrawny<br />

kid with a bleeding lip peeps out with a mixture of fascination<br />

and horror from behind an old tree. There is not much activity.<br />

Everyone seems to be watching, waiting.<br />

Eventually the men emerge. With broken steps and sagging<br />

shoulders, the black layer on their faces struggling to cover<br />

the pale fear underneath, they carry limp bodies slung over like<br />

February 2014 75


sacks on their shoulders. Of the last such body to come out, the<br />

torso is missing both arms and a leg. It is covered only in a tattered<br />

loin cloth and nothing else.<br />

The next day Akash’s body is returned to his desolate<br />

mother at the other end of the country. The rough wooden crate<br />

carrying his remains jostles for space with designer luggage in the<br />

cargo hold of an aeroplane. His hunger satisfied, Akash is finally<br />

flying.<br />

Devyani Borade writes on the humor and pathos of everyday<br />

life. Her fiction, nonfiction, and art have appeared in<br />

magazines across the world. Visit her website Verbolatry at<br />

http://devyaniborade.blogspot.com to contact her and read<br />

her other work.<br />

76 Writing Tomorrow Magazine


February 2014 77


Still,<br />

when I remember you, it is with a sad shade of nostalgia,<br />

the color of sky just before a storm.<br />

Lightning, April Salzano

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