What's Your Story? Write It!

I. Opening Introduction
II. Questions
III. Quotes
What’s Your Story Write It!
JOY International • Java JOY • April 8, 2010
Presentation by Royann Bold
A. Who knows your story You may ask yourself why would anyone want
to know What if something happened to you, who would tell your story
Do you wonder about the stories of significant people in your life
B. I am here because the Memoir writing workshop I attended tied in so
well with the theme of the recent Joy Breakfast, “What’s Your Story” –if
you attended, you heard Sherry Carlson’s powerful life story.
C. We’ll cover tonight some of the main topics from the Memoir Writing
workshop presented by author & Professor Carl Koch that I attended in
2008.
D. We’ll do a short writing exercise.
E. Lastly, we’ll discuss some recommended reading materials to help
you start your writing process.
A. Here are a couple quotes from Frederick Buechner, American writer&
theologian:
• “…To lose track of our stories is to be profoundly impoverished not
only humanly but spiritually.”
• "Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is… in the last
analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace." (Now
and Then: A Memoir of Vocation)
IV. Memoir Writing Workshop
A. Benedictine Spirituality Center in Richardton, ND 2008
B. I attended because this topic was fascinating to me and I am a
wannebe author, always have been.
C. Carl Koch was a wonderful instructor and the materials you have
tonight are from his handouts. Carl Koch is Director of Ring Lake Ranch,
April 8, 2010 | JOY International | Java JOY
What’s your story Write it! - Presentation by Royann Bold
www.joyintl.org
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an ecumenical retreat center in the Wind River Mountains of Wyoming.
For many years he served as senior editor and staff writer at Saint Mary’s
Press. He has authored over 30 books and has explored his own memoir
in each one.
D. I have not written my memoirs yet, but I have started and will complete
them.
E. The session was Friday night and Saturday. We listened to Carl’s
presentation and did some writing exercises and shared with those at our
table and with the entire group.
V. Why write your story
A. Creative self-expression, like me, you may feel the need to write. It
can be a very rewarding process.
B. Identifying what influences shaped your life such as your spiritual
journey. Carl Koch offered a quote from Maya Angelou: “It’s hard to know
where we’re going unless we know where we have been”.
C. The search for your identity or as Carl put it, “we can never be whole,
until we know who we are”.
D. You may want to write to make peace with yourself, answering
questions such as why do I struggle with a certain part of your life He
said to us: “Know your story and all its brilliance, beauty, ugliness and
fear”.
VI. Autobiography vs. Memoir
A. Autobiography is the story of a life.
B. Memoir is the story or collection of stories FROM a life - in other words,
lots of journals, diaries and letters end up becoming a memoir – your
memoir can be based on key moments from your life. You can think of it
as a bunch of little stories.
C. One of Carl’s recommendations was to just get on with it and get
started. He advised us to “get rid of the English teacher or the censor, get
past your mother, start writing and go clean it up later”.
D. Remember this – if you write one story a week on a piece of paper at
the end of the year, you will have 52 stories. Carl recommended we
establish a habit to write ½ hour each day.
April 8, 2010 | JOY International | Java JOY
What’s your story Write it! - Presentation by Royann Bold
www.joyintl.org
2

E. One suggestion he gave us was to start by doing a family blog and
send it out to people to read your story. Encourage them to do the same,
which would be a wonderful document when complete.
VII. What are “MARKINGS”
A. The first page of your stapled handout talks about Markings or the key
moments of your life. This is how former UN General Secretary Dag
Hammarskjöld referred to them. Markings are moments or events that
come to mind when we spontaneously write about who we are right now.
B. Here are some examples: an important relationship in your life – how
did it start, what happened next, key conversations, all the way to the
present. Markings can be done for failures or successes, romantic
relationships, career events, family, etc.
C. When you start this process, you start by relaxing, breathing deeply
and close your eyes and let your life unfold before you like a movie. When
you recall scenes, encounters, accomplishments you can start writing by
putting “I remember” on a blank page and begin from there.
VIII. The GENOGRAM
A. On the second page of the stapled handout is the information about
how to construct your genogram. A genogram is a pictorial display of a
person's family relationships. It goes beyond a traditional family tree by
allowing the user to visualize hereditary patterns and psychological factors
that punctuate relationships.
B. In Carl Koch’s presentation he refers to Peter Gilmour’s book, “The
Wisdom of Memoir” which describes the genogram as assisting people in
establishing and interpreting their place within their intergenerational
families of origin...tracing one’s lineage can help a person understand their
identity”
C. Have any of you done a genealogy chart If you have, you can take
that as a starting point to trace your “Bloodlines” which establish your
ethnic, national, and cultural origins. Start jotting down sentences about
people in your chart.
D. Also, include the “Thoughtlines” of these people. We’ve all been
touched and formed by an ancestry of key ideas and concepts that they
have taught us. Then after you think of this, how did that idea shape my
life Write about it.
April 8, 2010 | JOY International | Java JOY
What’s your story Write it! - Presentation by Royann Bold
www.joyintl.org
3

IX. Spiritlines
A. Very important to your memoir would be to write about your own
spiritual development. Thinking about the moments when you had
meaningful spiritual experiences and how your life was different because
of them.
B. Do you have a sacred place Mine was our family’s farm, which was
very meaningful in my relationship with my Dad.
C. Also, writing about what your family member’s religious beliefs and
practices were will help identify how they influenced your life.
X. The last section of your stapled handout talks about Heartlines.
A. This is where you define the relationships in your life that have been
most formative; parents, friends, a beloved person, a mentor, an enemy.
Relationships are often the GREAT story of our life.
B. Define who the people are in your life that you care for and nurture; if
they invited you to dinner, who would be sitting around the table
C. Pick one important person and write a storyline about that relationship
from your earliest memory to the present.
XI. Let’s do a writing exercise: HANDOUT (Appendix)
A. Pick one of the 8 questions on this page (see Appendix) and let’s take
a few minutes to let you start writing. You won’t probably finish, and after
we call time, we would like you to just turn to the person near you and
share your writing.
B. As a follow-up to our presentation tonight, we would like to ask how
many of you might be interested to meet again in a setting like this to take
this writing exercise, continue to work on it and meet again to share your
writing with a group
XII. Recommended Reading Material
A. Some of the recommended reading material on memoir writing is
included in your agenda. I have brought some of them with; I have
personally read Markings by Dag Hammarskjöld, Dakota by Kathleen
Norris, and 3 Weeks with my Brother by Nicholas Sparks. I am also
reading Writing About Your Life, by William Zinsser.
April 8, 2010 | JOY International | Java JOY
What’s your story Write it! - Presentation by Royann Bold
www.joyintl.org
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XI. Closing thoughts
A. Lastly I’ll just offer to you that the thought of writing can be daunting, I
know that myself. All of these reference materials are very helpful to your
process.
B. As Carl Koch encouraged us: Writing is an exploration; a compilation
of sentences becomes paragraphs and a compilation of paragraphs
becomes a story...think of your life as a bunch of little stories...just get on
with it and get started!
April 8, 2010 | JOY International | Java JOY
What’s your story Write it! - Presentation by Royann Bold
www.joyintl.org
5

Appendix
Writing Exercise
Answer the following questions:
1. What was the happiest time in your life
2. What was the saddest time in your life
3. What is your favorite holiday
4. What is your favorite place
5. Who was the most influential person in your life
6. What is your favorite book
7. What do you consider your biggest success
8. What incident or person was the most influential in your spiritual journey
April 8, 2010 | JOY International | Java JOY
What’s your story Write it! - Presentation by Royann Bold
www.joyintl.org
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