Third Grade Life Skills Parent Newsletter - Key School

Third Grade Life Skills Parent Newsletter
Dear Parents:
September, 2008
This week, third grade students will begin a life skills unit on solving
interpersonal problems. Our goal is to help students successfully, and more
independently, navigate the conflicts that may arise during the course of a
normal day with peers, friends and siblings.
This life skills unit builds on the collaborative and conflict resolution skills
that the students learned in second grade, and teaches a problem solving
process designed for the more matured third grade mind. An overview of this
problem solving model follows in the pages of this newsletter.
In addition to our classroom sessions, we will launch small “lunch bunch”
gatherings with students to focus on collaborative skills. All third graders will
have the opportunity to join Sally Trapp and Ellie Young for an interactive
session of instructive games and hands-on activities.
On Wednesday morning, September 24 at 8:30AM, there will be a
Parent Meeting about grade three and grade four life skills in the
Science Room (Manse Addition). This informal meeting is a good
opportunity for parents to ask questions, and is especially valuable for us to
hear from you.
We look forward to a strong partnership with you to strengthen the life
skills taught both at home and at school. Please contact us with your ideas,
questions, and concerns so that we may better assist your children on their
journey towards independence.
Yours truly,
Nancy Conroy Lynn Dombi Sue Hood
Third Grade Teacher Third Grade Teacher Third Grade Teacher
Jennifer Blanchard Sally Trapp Ellie Young
School Social Worker Learning Department Life Skills Teacher

The problem solving model we are teaching at school has four steps.
1. What is the problem?
2. What can I do?
3. What might happen if...?
4. Choose and use a solution.
(1) The first step - answering “What is the problem?” - requires
students to pay attention to feelings, facial expressions, body language,
and situational clues in order to identify what is the matter. Children
tend to phrase problems from only one point-of-view and often are
judgmental and blaming, so we practice neutral problem statements:
Blaming:
Neutral:
Jack is mean. He took the ball and won’t let
Jill play with it.
Jack and Jill want to play with the same ball,
and Jack got to it first.
To assist students with problem identification, we use the acronym
H.A.L.T. - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Halt, meaning stop, is an
appropriate reminder for students to slow down and consider what the
problem might be: “Is it hunger, anger, loneliness or tiredness?” For
example, a child bickering during the drive home from school might
really be hungry and tired (sound familiar?).
(2) The second step - answering “What can I do?” - requires
students to think about what they need to do during a problem situation.
In class, we are generating a list of ideas for students to refer to
throughout the year (copies will be sent home).
Sometimes children become stuck on one type of solution and need
assistance generating alternatives. We can help students to
brainstorm as many ideas as possible by refraining from evaluating
their suggestions, remaining neutral, and gently probing (“That’s one
idea. What is another? Can you think of a different type of option?
What else could you do?”).
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(3) The third step – “What might happen if...?” - requires students
to evaluate solutions for consequences on the basis of safety,
feelings, fairness and workability. Often children are eager to return
to their play and want to rush past this step; direct them to slow down
and think about each solution. If they are leaning towards a lessthan-appropriate
solution, encourage a back-up plan.
(4) The final step – “Choose and use a solution” - requires
students to make a choice, evaluate whether their chosen solution is
working, and change to an alternative solution if needed. The ability
to change directions requires flexibility which teachers and parents
should encourage, praise, and model.
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This problem solving approach will be taught using a variety of case
studies and role-plays. Students will practice in the safety of the
classroom, and will be supported throughout the day as they
encounter real problems on the playground and elsewhere.
We hope that you will find opportunities to solve problems out loud
with your child. Helping your child to talk through a problem
reinforces the process of slowing down and thinking through several
options. Equally important is explaining the steps you are using to
solve a problem while you are using them.
As you well know, it takes a lot of practice to become an
accomplished problem solver. Over time, and with our joint support,
students will gain the needed experience, judgment, and confidence
to manage interpersonal relationships independently.
I-Message
By way of a refresher, in second grade the students learned
an I-message as a way to provide information without blaming
others in a conflict situation.
I feel __________ when _________________.
I want ________________________________.
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2. Define the problem:
What is the problem?
H.A.L.T.
Am I hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired?
3. Brainstorm ideas:
What can I do?
Calm down (breathe slowly, count to 10).
Share with an I-message.
Take a break. Find another activity.
Seek advice. Talk to a friend or adult.
4. Evaluate options:
What might happen if…?
Is it safe? How will people feel?
Is it fair? Will it work?
5. Take action:
Choose and use a solution.
Is it working?
If not, what can I do now?
Adapted from Second Step, Committee for Children