Issue 4 Technology

The
Cut
Eleanor Barber
Miss Baynes-Robinson
Harry Bradley
Patrick Coe
Alexandra Cole
Sonny da Silva Peters
Polly Dawson
Elena Ferretti
Mati Ferretti
Alex Foden
Miss Foster
Olivia Goldsmith
James Frost
Tom Irvine
Sophie Lawns
Miss Mardle
Euan Mckenzie
Emily Mitchell
Maria Reed
Beth Scahill
Mr Tighe
Josh Wright
Rhiannon Wyard
Rachael Vickery
Raffy Zoio

Pointless Page not pointless
0
In this article, I will show you that technology can be
absolutely pointless, but may still be useful.
Whoever wrote this magazine certainly has a cruel tendency to shamelessly lie to their audience!
The title given to nearly all of the articles in this publication are extremely misleading. Firstly, the socalled
“Pointless Page” was not pointless at all! It is so difficult to find articles that gain the interest
of those who enjoy reading more lacklustre works, such as I, so when I found the “Pointless” page, I
decided to peruse this publication immediately. I was so excited to sit down with my new magazine,
unscented cantles lit, mug of water at exactly 21 degrees in hand, ready to enjoy an evening of
complete boring bliss! But then you lot at Snippet ruined it by making the Pointless Page interesting!
I was gripped; it was awful!
Let’s move onto the article about the Oculus Rift. As an avid speaker of many, many languages, I was
rather interested in the article that featured the Latin word for eye, for it is such a fantastic dialect,
that the promise of an entire article written about the optics was my idea of heaven! Imagine my
disappointment then, when I learnt it was nothing but a stupid ‘video game’ component, obviously
written in English.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have picked up the technology issue.
However, I am giving this publication one star, because I found the article about that poor person
who shared my fear of technology very similar to my own experiences and almost, almost enjoyable.
For just £80 you can have a small bionic bird of
your own and control it from your smartphone. It
has a foam body, a carbon fibre tail and wings, and
it flies just like a real bird by flapping them really
fast. It even comes with a Turbo-Charge egg.
Apparently, real birds are attracted to it.
Hydro-tech says that these air
conditioned shoes will help to put
freshness back into your step and
are excellent for those with smelly
feet. The shoes however seem to
be no more than standard shoes
with holes in them. The company
says they have unique filter
technology and they can be
purchased from Fancy.com for
£45.
The age of the robot servant starts now.
Budgee is designed to carry your bags and
follow you at a distance of your choosing.
You can control it using your smartphone
or tablet and there’s an off switch on its
head. It’s also supposed to be able to avoid
obstacles, carry up to 50lbs and move at
four miles per hour. At £900 you can
customize its eye colour and voice tracks.
Snippet– Issue 1– Snippet– Issue 2 Snippet– Issue
3– Fear

Snippet – page 1
Editor’s Note
Snippet – page 2
Contents Page
Snippet – page 3
The Apple Watch
Snippet – page 4
The Apple Watch
Snippet – page 5
The Effect of Technology on the Media
Snippet – page 6
The Effect of Technology on the Media
Snippet – page 7
Democracy: UK-Style
Snippet – page 8
Democracy: UK-Style
Snippet – page 9
Beats and Blockbusters
Snippet – page 10
Beats and Blockbusters
Snippet – page 11
Ada Lovelace
Snippet – page 12
Ada Lovelace
Snippet – page 13
Ada Lovelace
Snippet – page 14
Ada Lovelace
Snippet – page 15
Google Easter Eggs
Snippet – page 17
Rules for Mr Hermit
Snippet – page 18
Rules for Mr Hermit
Snippet – page 19
Dingbats
Snippet – page 20
Dingbats
Snippet – page 21
Watching– a short story
Snippet – page 22
Watching– a short story
Snippet – page 23
The Word
Snippet – page 24
Would you rather?
Snippet – page 25
Bike Technology
Snippet – page 26
Bike Technology
Snippet – page 27
Bike Technology
Snippet – page 28
Bike Technology
Snippet – page 29
Life Hacks
Snippet – page 30
Dive Computers
Snippet – page 31
Perfect Playoffs?
Snippet – page 32
Perfect Playoffs?
Snippet – page 33
Ipswich vs Norwich
Snippet – page 34
Pointless Technology
Snippet – page 35
The Cut

Apple Watch
Apple’s latest creation, the
Apple Watch, gives us a chance to
experience the most enhanced
watch ever. To make the best use
of its size and location on your wrist,
Apple Watch has all-new
interactions and technologies. They
let you do familiar things more
quickly and conveniently, as well as
some things that simply weren’t
possible before. So using the Apple
Watch is a whole new experience;
one that’s more personal than ever
before.
High-quality watches have long
been defined by their ability to
keep unfailingly accurate time,
and Apple Watch is no exception. In conjunction with your iPhone, it
keeps time within 50 milliseconds of the definitive global time standard. It
even lets you customise your watch face to present time in a more
meaningful, personal context that’s relevant to your life and schedule.
Apple Watch makes all the different ways you’re used to
communicating more convenient. As it sits on your wrist, it can add a
physical dimension to alerts and notifications. For example, you’ll feel a
gentle tap with each incoming message. Apple Watch also lets you
connect with your favourite people in fun, spontaneous ways — like
sending a tap, a sketch or even your heartbeat. Apple Watch gives you
a complete picture of your all-day activity. The three rings of the Activity
app show your daily progress and help motivate you to sit less, move
more and get some exercise. It’s also an advanced sports watch, giving
you real-time stats for a variety of the most popular workouts. Over time,
Apple Watch learns your activity and fitness levels. It uses that information
recently relegated side outside the
play offs, but since Neil Adams
resigned as manger and the
relatively unknown Alex Neil was
brought in they have been the
best side in the league.
Ipswich, unfortunately have
not had the best of time in the
East Anglian Derby so far this
season. Two losses left Town fans
questioning if they really had the
quality to push on this season.
Despite the crushing defeats,
Town have come back strong each
time in a style typical of Mick
McCarthy’s hardworking side. In
both games however, Ipswich had
big chances to level the score that
strikers Daryl Murphy and
Freddie Sears would normally
have taken. Town have also had to
play the derby at times of the
season where they were in bad
form and Norwich in good form.
Had they played in the period
before Christmas, the “in form”
Town team would have really
fancied their chances against a
plummeting Norwich. Ipswich
will know, despite the poor recent
record against Norwich, that
playing at the top of their game
with the Ipswich faithful behind
them, they stand a very good
chance of a good result.
Alex Neil
(Norwich Manager)
Sadly, since this was written,
Norwich went on to win over
two legs and to move up a division
to play in the Barclay’s
Premier League. We wish them
every success next year.

Perfect
Playoffs?
Mick McCarthy
(Ipswich Manager
They are back, finally back in the
play offs. After 10 long years
away, Ipswich Town are back in
football’s most exciting games.
They are just three games away
from reaching the world’s richest
league. Standing in their way first
however, is two games against the
Championship’s best team since
Christmas; local rivals Norwich
City, who Town have not beaten
for six years.
It will be the biggest derby in
30 years. With not only the title
of pride of Anglia at stake, the
reward is even bigger: a trip to
Wembley and a chance of
football’s most lucrative prize.
It was a fantastic first half of
the season for Ipswich, which had
many Town fans dreaming of
automatic promotion but they put
their season in danger of fizzling
out with a poor second half of
the season. However, Town came
back strong in the last few games
of the season and managed to
claw themselves back into the
sixth playoff spot.
Norwich meanwhile have also
had a season of two halves; it was
an awful first half which saw the
to improve the accuracy of your measurements and suggest personalised
all-day activity goals. It even provides custom reminders to encourage you
to achieve them.
There are three different types of Apple Watch: the normal “Apple
Watch”, the “sport” Apple Watch and the “edition Apple Watch. Prices
vary from £500 to up to £15,000 for an eighteen carat gold watch! Why
would someone want to spend that much money on a watch? Referring
back to the physical dimension of the Apple Watch, of which you can tap
your watch to notify your friend that you need/want them: how are you
going to call them? Calling someone with Apple Watch will look very
awkward, even with earphones/headphones.
A very big downside about the Apple Watch is that it has to be
connected to an iPhone for it to work which means it can’t work
independently. When did the expectations for a watch become so high?
So should you buy an Apple Watch? Should you waste up to £15,000 on a
watch which you could probably get for a pound at a car boot sale?
Personally, I think the Apple Watch is an absolute waste of money for
something which is supposed to tell the time. Who is going to care if you
can get the precise time? But it’s up to you whether you think the Apple
Watch is a good spend or not. The Apple Watch could be a revolutionary
step for technology or a terrible fail.

Both media and technology have grown substantially in recent years.
New types of technology, such as radio broadcasting and the invention
of social media, have advanced the capabilities of the media. The ways
in which news is distributed has also greatly changed over the past decade.
The spurt of new technology has had a huge influence on our generation.
The last century began with newspapers, which were the main
source of news, and to think, creating newspapers wouldn’t have been
possible without the invention of the printing press, many years beforehand.
Gradually, news has evolved alongside the peak of technological advancement,
updating itself to give the widest coverage of news and the
most availability. With the invention of the radio in the last century,
news was able to be broadcasted allowing more people to listen to it.
This was particularly relevant in the Second World War, when the English
prime minister, Neville Chamberlain, announced to England that
they were at war with Germany.
The invention of television has also opened up many fronts for news
broadcasting. Now, television has almost completely eclipsed radio. Almost
all of us own a television, whether it is a high definition 40inch
flatscreen or a 3D television.
A dive computer is a piece of equipment that can tell
you different pieces of information; some of these are very
important. They can tell you things such as your depth,
your pressure group and the amount of time you have
been diving for. They are used so that a diver can safely
ascend from a dive to make sure they don’t get
Decompression Sickness (DCS) more commonly known as The
Bends.
There are two types of dive computers: the watch type and the
console type. The watch type is worn as a watch and some of these
have a watch feature so you can wear this while not diving. The
console replaces your pressure gage (the thing that tells you how
much air you have left) so this one is guaranteed to have the ability
to tell you how much air you have left.
Dive computers are very useful but they are not necessary for
diving. They are very helpful but you could just use a
dive table, which tells you how long you can spend
underwater when diving. The computer recalculates the
information whereas the dive table doesn’t.
Dive computers can vary in price. Cheap ones can
cost around £100 but some can be as expensive
as £7000. When buying a dive computer you
need to consider things like how much you will
use it and where you intend to use it. The depth
you plan to take it down to is also an important
factor to consider because of the pressure of
the water.

The news is very accessible with the addition of television; there
are a large number of news stations on television, even more if
you have a TV package like Sky. News programmes are placed at
convenient times for people who are watching TV. One prime
spot for news is after soaps, such as EastEnders or Coronation
Street. This is one of the many reasons why people watch it.
The addition of social media into our society has changed the
way news can spread information and the way people can share
ideas. Although many post what happens in their everyday lives,
lots of people post opinions or facts about things which others
can receive.
.
The internet as a whole has become a massive collection of information
in itself. It is a bustling hub for the latest news, as all of
the major news outlets have their own websites. The internet is
probably the largest source of information. 50 years ago, if you
wanted to know an answer to a question, you’d ask someone or
look it up in a book. Now, you can simply type it into Google and
the answer is there before your eyes.
The way people share information has changed extremely rapidly
over the last century, interlinking with the great advancement of
technology.

1890
The Pneumatic Tyre
Sorry, we’re
CLOSED
30th March: |Parliament was dissolved
(closed).
The MPs returned home. Some
tried to win their seat again and
some did not.
When John Boyd Dunlop wanted to improve his son’s tricycle, he decided to curve a
rubber tube, filled with air, around the wheels. This simple idea required very modern
technology from the time, such as the vulcanisation of rubber. This process was used to
make soft, natural rubber into a harder wearing tougher material. Dunlop realised that his
new tyre went faster than the old metal wheel, and it absorbed the impact of lumps and
bumps on the ground.
Bike Joke No.1
What’s the hardest part of learning to cycle?
The Pavement!
Bike Joke No.2
Why couldn't Cinderella win the bike race?
Because she had a pumpkin for a coach!
Polling station
open
Candidates battled it out in
their area, meeting local people
and handing out leaflets to try
and gain support. Competition
was huge,. However in most
seats, the same party wins every
election, so many candidates
knew they were going to lose.
On the 7th of May, Polling
Stations opened and anyone
above the age of 18 (who isn’t
in prison) were allowed to vote
Overnight the votes were
counted and the candidate with
the most votes won in each
constituency. This system is
called ‘first past the post’. Some
people believe that this is
disproportionate because
everyone’s votes that support a
losing candidate count for
nothing.
2000
Carbon nanotube technology
New biking tech has often first been tested on the race track. Both the Dunlop tyre and
the carbon nanotube technology were tested this way. The Tour de France is the most
famous cycling race in the world and the most prestigious, so when the winning bike of
2006 used carbon nanotubes in its design, this was a big event for the technology. In this
case, however, the nanotubes were used as an additive to strengthen carbon fibre
material. The future holds many more possibilities for this material.
Carbon nanotubes are really thin tubes made only out of carbon atoms. Their walls are
single-atom-thick structures, which appear to look like rolled up chicken wire. This
makes them have many interesting properties. For instance, they can conduct electricity
along one tube, but not between tubes; they are flexible and they are really strong.
Carbon Nano-tubes are probably around 10 to 20 times as strong as the best carbon
fibre materials. When included in a bike frame, the designer can choose where to have
the most strength, which means they can save weight for a faster bike. The other uses of
carbon nanotubes (see left) are even more exciting.
Already, a carbon nanotube computer has been made, so who knows what the future will
hold? Could you be taking a ride on a nanotube space elevator in years to come? Whatever
happens, there will always be some tech to add to the bike.
So, whether you like bumping down a mountain, doing tricks in the
local skate park or racing along a country lane, remember the
significance of that humble piece of technology. Remember that life
would be quite different without bikes.

1890
Women’s Rights
The eccentric
Victorian’s dream:
bicycles in every
possible design.
Nanotube uses:
Women had traditionally been consigned to stay at home during this time. They
were not expected to consider having a job at all. Bicycles, however, improved their
mobility, enabling them to widen their horizons. This kick started a new fashion craze of
bloomers (billowy trousers) which were preferable to skirts when pedalling around. In fact,
they were probably preferable to skirts in all of day-to-day life, making many tasks easier.
The very idea of wearing clothes for comfort and easier lifestyle was new at this
time. Women’s rights would never have been the same without bikes.
Conductive
plastics
New fabrics
Better
batteries
Biosensors
RADAR
invisible
objects
The general election is over now.
The word “democracy” has been thrown around like
confetti at a wedding. Democracy is not an eternal truth.
It is the right of the people to decide how their country is
run and should not be taken for granted. The system that
we use in our country enables us to call this country
democratic. However, like any other system, it has benefits
and flaws.
If the conservatives won
a majority (over 326
seats)
The queen invited them to
form a government.
Parliament can now reopen
with the government
running the country. All of
the MPs, who are not part
of the successful party, can
still have their say over
what the government does
in the House of Commons.
If no parties had won a clear majority…(three options)
Negotiations would have
taken place between the
parties to try and form a
coalition. Two or more
parties would have made a
deal that they would always
vote for each other in the
House of Commons.
One party could have
formed a minority
government. However, if
they had tried to pass a law
they could have been
forced not to by losing a
vote in the House of
Commons.
Or, if none of that worked, a repeat general election
would have been held—and the fun would be repeated all
over again!
David Cameron continues to be the Prime Minister who can appoint Ministers of
State, for example the Foreign Secretary who looks after UK Foreign Affairs. The
MPs vote on bills, deciding whether they become new laws or not.

This issue our theme is
technology. Technically all music
and films are technology!
However I’m going to talk about
the technology that has shaped
music and films. Also I’m going to
talk about some new films coming
out this month.
Beats
So in Beats I’m going to talk about
the technology that has changed
music completely. Two such
inventions are ‘computer beats’, or
synthesisers, as well as auto tune.
Auto tune is quite a controversial
invention as the software in it
disguises or corrects any off-key
vocals on the track. It is criticised as it
is seen by some artists to be cheating,
as it is not your own talent; you are
using but a machine. Lady Gaga and
even Maroon 5 use this highly
controversial software to produce
some of their catchiest songs; if you
don’t believe me listen to the words
in Maroon 5’s ‘She Will Be Loved’
rain and smile. For Lady Gaga, well
just listen to pretty much any song of
hers.
Will.i.am
Talking of musicians, some use
computer software to make their
music, none are more well-known
than will.i.am. He uses synthesisers
to create his music, which is a loud
catchy electro-pop beat. This music
has led to his string of hits, most
recently ‘It’s My Birthday’. A
producer who has worked with some
People were sick of often poorly balanced riders crashing, so a fine was established for
anyone using them on the pavement. However it didn’t take much imagination before some
pedals were attached to the wheels. It did take a large amount of courage and a long wait
for improved road surfaces though.
1858
Appearing in the 1860s the Bone Shaker
had pedals, but lacked a chain or any
gears. It must have taken someone truly
brave (or just plain stupid) to venture
out on cobbled streets on one of these
primitive wooden machines. With a
wooden frame, no tyres and primitive
breaks, they do look very similar to
modern bikes. However, the next turn
on the wheel of history made cycling a
popular venture among more people
than ever before!
1872
Penny Farthings used the principle that
larger wheels go further in one rotation,
b e c a u s e t h e y h a v e a l a r g e r
circumference. In the 1870s the front
wheels of bikes grew and grew until you
would have to be an acrobat to achieve
the feat of scaling them.
1876
Bicycle chains, gears and cogs consigned Penny Farthings to history. Over the next
couple of decades many other improvements were made, getting to the bikes that we
would recognise today. Bikes have been at the forefront of new technology for many
years. In the late 1800s, pneumatic tyres (where the tyre is filled with air) were the new
innovation to improve cycling. Now, carbon nanotubes may make bikes even lighter,
stronger and faster.
There was a craze of bike-buying in the 1890s when ‘safety’ bikes were invented. Now
most people could actually get on their bike. Riding was more stable and much easier.

1418
Many people own a bike. While fancy cars and motorcycles are often described
as the height of modern industry, bicycles are often ignored in their technological
prowess. In fact, the history of these useful machines is a long and interesting one.
For at least the last century, the ability to travel far with just human power has brought
liberty to the masses. These machines helped kick-start the Women’s Rights
Movement and changed fashion to become more practical. The future of bikes looks
bright too. Carbon fibre technology is making them lighter and stronger, however this
comes with a heavy price tag.
Who Invented the Bike?
Surprisingly for a machine with such a
simple concept, no-one really invented
the bike. Bikes evolved through time
starting in 1418 with Italian engineer,
Giovanni Fontana.
Seeing as there is no clear contender for
the very first bicycle, the first humanpowered
vehicle seems a good place to
start. Fontana’s strange creation involved
four wheels with gears turned by the
movement of a circular rope.
Unfortunately, no improvements were
made on this cumbersome design for
around 400 years, probably due to
terrible road conditions and a lack of
interest in human-powered free
movement. Weren’t they a lazy bunch!
1817
The next step in the history of cycling
was powered by running, rather than
pedalling. Can you imagine the centre of
eighteenth century London being
crossed by people sitting on these
Hobby Horses as they were colloquially
known. Pootling along an unsuspecting
pavement would have been someone,
usually a well-to-do young man, sitting
on what can only be described as two
wheels and a seat. They would then be
required to push themselves along in
some sort of treadmill-like motion. It
wasn’t long, however, until the strange
fad fell out of popularity. I wonder why?
of the biggest names right now and
helps launch the careers of other
musicians while producing a catchy
pop sound: 9/10!
Blockbusters
One of my favourite films right now
is the incredible ‘Now You See Me’.
This film is about a group of four
street magicians who are summoned
together by a set of mysterious cards,
one year later they perform their first
show together as the Four
Horsemen. During the show they
appear to rob a bank and the
audience frantically grabs the money
falling from the celling. This grabs
the attention of the FBI who send
their agent Dylan Rhodes to
apprehend the Horsemen, who are
arrested but are released due to the
lack of evidence. Their next show
involves another robbery, but Rhodes
starts to suspect that there is a Fifth
Horseman. This mystery is kept
going until the very end, which I
couldn’t see coming. Intrigue and
some spectacular magic tricks: 10/10!
Another film that is out right now is
‘The Theory of Everything’ which
stars Eddie Redmayne as Stephen
Hawking. The film tells the
sometimes sad but romantic true
story of Stephen falling in love with
Jane Wilde and how his disability
occurs. However this is a true story
and that is possibly what makes it
such an emotional film. A beautiful
yet poignant film: 8/10!

That all wars end?
Or
Everyone has a proper home?
The Antikythera mechanism is a device that ancient Greek scientists
used for predicting astronomical data. For example, they used it to predict
the whereabouts of the moon, the sun and the five planets that the
ancient Greeks knew about, or even solar and lunar eclipses.
This mechanism was recovered from the Antikythera shipwreck, off the
Greek island Antikythera. This wreck was a treasure trove of artefacts
that were mostly still intact and are now being stored in various museums.
After 2000 years under water, the Antikythera mechanism began to
disintegrate as soon as it was brought to the surface.
The Antikythera mechanism was designed and constructed by ancient
Greek scientists and is thought to be dated back to either between 150
to 100 BC or 205 BC. Professionals were amazed by how advanced the
technology was. Unfortunately, the knowledge used for this kind of device
was lost and artefacts of this complexity and workmanship didn’t
appear again until the 14 th century.
The mechanism was housed in a wooden box measuring 340 x 180 x 90
mm and was made of at least 30 bronze gears, the largest of which was
140 mm in diameter and had 223 teeth. The device was found in 82 separate
fragments; only seven of these contained gears or significant inscriptions.
Hey …. Hi
Hey …. Hi
How are you
How are you
Hey …. Hi
How are you Hey …. Hi
How are you
Never use your mobile again?
Or
Never laugh again?
Pay a lot of money for any medication you need?
Or
Never watch TV again?
Live a life of luxury with your family and friends and have everything you
ever wanted whilst the rest of the earth had nothing?
Or
Everyone except you could be cured from Diabetes?
Transport having never been invented?
Or
That obesity is not a problem?
Phones were never invented?
Or
Hospitals were never invented?
Constantly receive texts (even at night) with the sound on full volume?
Or
Never get any at all?
Have access to transport?
Or
Have access to education?
Never eat chocolate again?
Or
Never use social networking again?

Can’t sleep, ruminating
on decisions I made
In Skyrim!
When you hear the words
‘computer programmer’ your
mind probably jumps to the image
of a nerd in a Batman t-shirt,
cursing under his breath about
unbearable URLs or cantankerous
codes, when in reality, the one that
started this all was so different to
this.
Ada Lovelace, real name
Augusta Ada Byron, was the daughter of the renowned
poet Lord Byron. However, she barely knew him
because she was raised
single-handedly by her
mother, Anne Isabella
Byron, and she died
when she was nine. Born
in 1815, she lived in a
world without flight,
computers or the
internet.
Young Ada was very
inquisitive. Illness
plagued her childhood;

at one point she was paralysed by measles. Despite
this, at age twelve she became very interested in flight.
But this was no ordinary, childhood interest in flying
things, like fairies and pixies; Ada was scientific. The
detail that she put into methodically planning a
realistic way to fly showcased her mathematical and
technological skills. From looking into the anatomy of
birds to work out proportion, to investigating the best
materials to make wings, her curiosity had no limits.
Comparing this bookish, ailing child to her teenage
self makes it hard to believe they are really the same
person. A scandalous affair with her tutor that led to
an attempted elopement signalled that when Ada
would eventually graduate to adult society, she would
cause quite a stir. Her intelligence combined with her
enthusiasm for dancing resulted in many admirers.
So what exactly did she do to become the first
computer programmer?
Charles Babbage, an English mathematician, was
developing a ‘difference machine’ (a machine
designed to produce error free mathematical tables)
when he met Ada. Unfortunately, his machine wasn’t
built until after he finished developing it due to lack of
funds, so he began working on an analytical machine,
an all-purpose contraption. Both machines interested
Ada, and the two began conferring.
In 1842, Babbage gave a lecture at the University of
Turin on his analytical machine. Luigi Menabrea then
I stumbled onto a nearby table enveloped by deep red
cloth; the corner jutted sharply into my hip and I fell to my
knees. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment at my ridiculous
fall as I scrambled to push my body off the floor. My
slender fingers touched something; a glancing caress before I
clutched it tightly, bringing it towards me.
I looked with intrigue at the novel which I now held to
my chest. A large eye was depicted upon the purple cover.
The massive iris held a cold glare in a swirling variety of
blues and greys, all of which seemed sufficiently aggressive
for those who stared at the book to be startled and thus, unwilling
to purchase.
Yet I decided to purchase it, out of insatiable curiosity…?
Upon arriving home, I laid back on my bed, my entire
body feeling as heavy as a long deceased carcass. The bedroom
was dimly lit, with a singular lamp contorted to face
the white ceiling in a corner. I began to study the oddly beguiling
eye once more, running my slender fingers across it
as though trying to bring the item to life. There was a slight
change in material, a sudden smooth area deeply embedded
in the staring pupil, strange against the rough exterior of
the novel. I tried to focus in the gloom of the eerily silent
room but to no avail. The silence became deafening. I needed
to get out…
My scrambling appendages finally made their frantic
way to the icy light switch and my body slid down the dismal
wall. I shook with virulent sobs as I hunched over to examine
the book. The eye seemed to grow and stare with the
loathing as I stabbed the sliver of a silver blade directly into
my eternal pupil. Crack! A hollow noise sounded in between
the heavy beating of my irrational, impetuous heart before
the mocking tinkle of shattering glass. I wrenched something
out, the unrestrained tears burned.
A camera…

They were watching me. They’re always watching
me. I can never escape. I see them everywhere; no
escape…
The bookshop was radiant, extraordinary. Honey-wood
beams crowded the golden ceiling, emitting transience
through the open skylights. A large ladder leant idly against
a bookshelf, smiled slyly as it tripped the public up as they
meandered their casual way through the peaceful shop. Dust
obscured many of the novels which lay lonely on the shelves
with pleading eyes.
I took a deep breath and staggered forward through the
crowded shop, impatiently shoving those who came within
the radius of my sharp elbows.
Slam! A remarkably tall and sinewy gentleman shoved
into my shoulder, pushing me backwards slightly. His attire
was extremely peculiar as his form was cloaked in a coat
which seemed to drown his wiry body in darkness. His alabaster
face, from what I could see, had sharp cheekbones like
deep gashes in his hollow countenance and shadows like ink
drops spread around his eyes and flitted across his features.
His hair was dark and curled and was, in fact, the only part
of him which appeared even remotely alive. His forehead was
not visible from beneath the brim of the black pin-striped
fedora, which sat firmly jammed down on his head so as to
attempt to disguise the true identity of the wearer.
Babbage’s analytical engine
produced a memoir on the lecture called Sketch of the
Analytical Engine Invented by Charles Babbage, Esq,
which was written in French. Despite the fact that she
was very busy being married with three children, Ada
agreed to translate the lecture into English. When she
completed the translation, she also added her own
notes that made the result three times longer than the
original! These notes were published in 1843 and
became a great success.
The notes clearly explained the mechanics of the
analytical machine, as well as suggesting some
functions it could carry out. Ada said that it could be
capable of calculating Bernoulli numbers, and worked
out the data needed for this to be possible. This would
end up being the world’s first computer program.

Searching for "Festivus" places a Festivus pole in the left side
of the window, and the text showing the results displays "A
festivus miracle!" next to it.
Searching for "zerg rush"
causes a bunch of Google
"o"s to attack the result page
and eventually destroy it; the user can, however, fight back by
tapping on them. [6] After destroying the results, the "o"s then arrange
themselves into 'GG', meaning "Good Game".
Powers.
Searching for "Bletchley Park" will cause the title of the info card to
appear as if it was being deciphered by Google. This is a reference
to the fact that Bletchley Park, in Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire,
was the central site of the United Kingdom's Government Code and
Cypher School (GC&CS), which during the Second World
War regularly penetrated the secret communications of the Axis
Searching for "kerning" will increase the spacing between every
letter in the word kerning by 1 pixel whenever it shows up in the
search results page.
Searching for any actor's name followed by "bacon number"
returns the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon value.
Searching for "recursion" will result in Google asking if the user
meant "recursion."
Searching for "Conway's Game of Life" produces the Life simulation described
by Conway. It will spell "Google" if the user looks closely.
Searching for "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck
wood" using "Search by voice" produces a vocal response of another tongue twister "A
woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could
chuck wood".
Searching for "Santa Claus" or "Christmas decorations" or
"Christmas" places an animation of a snowy landscape with a
Christmas tree and a target that redirects you to Google Santa Tracker;
On Christmas Eve, a map will appear where Santa is currently located.
Searching for "Atari Breakout" and then clicking Images will start a
game of Breakout using the image results as bricks. When one wins it
searches something else randomly and plays again.
Well done if you got
any answers right!
Good luck with this
issue and look out for
the answers next issue.
Searching for "askew" or "tilt" using Google will cause the search results to be displayed at
a slight angle.

Easter egg:
A hidden feature
triggered by a specific
combination of actions
that is usually found on
DVDs and video games
or the search engine
Easter egg:
Searching for "anagram" results in the search engine asking
"Did you mean: nag a ram" ("nag a ram" is an anagram of
the word "anagram").
Searching for the film star
Jason Isaacs returns "Hello
to Jason Isaacs", a
reference to the BBC Radio
5 live film review program
with Mark Kermode and
Searching 'who are you'
using the voice recognition
search causes the
voiceover to say 'searching
for oneself may take a
lifetime. But a good place to
start is classic rock.'
Searching for "Google
Pacman" has a playable
version of the game
appear on the screen.
Searching for "What does
the fox say?" using voice
search produces various
vocal responses from the
song of the same name by
Ylvis.
Searching for "Christmas,"
"Hanukkah" or "Kwanzaa"
places a holiday landscape.
Searching for "Christmas
Star", "Christmas tree", or
"Santa" will display a
Christmas theme near the
search bar.
Searching for "flip a coin",
will show a virtual coin toss at
the top of the search results
page. Similarly, searching for
"roll a die" will create a die
rolling simulator below the
search bar.
Searching for "beam me up,
Scotty" using voice search
produces a vocal response
that says "I cannot do it,
Captain, I do not have the
power." in an impersonation
of the character Mr. Scott
from Star Trek.
Searching for "Google in 1998" results in a 1998 Google
search screen appearing in place of the current Google
search screen. Clicking on the first result will bring the user
to the Wayback Machine's version of Google from 1998.
However, clicking I'm Feeling Lucky will go to a page
A hollow, decorated
chocolate egg that is
usually given on Easter
Sunday.
Searching for "Menorah" will display a menorah beside the
search bar.
Searching for "make me a
sandwich" using Google
voice search will get one of
two responses, #1 "What?
Make it yourself" #2 "Poof
you're a sandwich!".
Searching for "hodor" shows
randomly generated "hodor"
text, including capital and
lowercase versions of the
word "hodor".
Searching for "blink HTML" or "blink tag" includes
samples of the blink element in the results
Searching for "marquee HTML" makes the result stats
emulate a marquee element and scroll horizontally.
Searching for "Do a barrel roll" or "z or r twice" will cause the search result to rotate
360 degrees when showing. This is often connected with Nintendo's Star Fox
games.

The rugged, old man approached me at the bus stop. His coat looked tired
and was covered in brown food stains. At least, I hoped they were food. The
rain hammered against his bearded face which looked like a grey squirrel had
latched onto it. I looked at him and he looked at me. Feeling awkward with the
prolonged silence, I shouted loudly, so as to be heard over the pouring rain:
“hello”, I waited. Once I was certain there was no reply heading my way I tried
again, this time with something new, “Are you okay?”
“No,” he stated and looked away. I presumed he was not familiar with
conversation; the tramp like outfit was a bit of a giveaway, so I tried not to take
the blunt attitude personally.
“Can I help you then?” I replied, not entirely sure what I would do if he
said yes. Saying “can I help you?” is not saying that you will, just asking whether
you are able to, but I knew this implied that I would.
“I don’t know, can you? I am a hermit.” Now it was my turn to stare
blankly. This wasn’t in rudeness but in awe at his honesty.
“Ok,” was all I could come up with. Then, to my great relief, he replied
again.
“I am just coming back into society and do not understand technology.
There weren’t any ipats or weefee’s and I thought that a Google was something
you wear to go swimming”.
Again I marvelled at his abruptness before answering: “This must be hard
for you,” I said, assuming that would be an appropriate answer and it was politer
than saying “What do you want me to do about it?”, or simply “you scare
me!”
Finally, an idea came to me: “I could write down some rules for you!”, I
said a little too loudly. My loudness was proven by the turning heads and funny
looks. I had only just noticed that the whole public had just witnessed my conversation
with this hermit. Then something strange happened. The hermit
smiled. He flashed me his black teeth and yellow gums. This took me
by surprise; not the decay but his change of attitude. I thought about
saying “What a lovely smile,” but was not sure if I could without it
sounding sarcastic, so I decided to just get on the bus and start writing
my rules…
1. Google is a search engine, not swimming equipment.
2. Ipads are like small, portable touch screen computers.
3. Yahoo is not just what you say when you are happy but is another
search engine (there are a lot).
4. Bing is another search engine (but not a particularly good one).
5. Facebook is a social media website, which coincidently has nothing
to do with faces and is in no way related to books.
6. Saying ‘follow me’ is not an invitation to be stalked, but a friend
request on social media. Listen to this rule carefully as ignoring it
could result in an arrest.
7. Similar to rule 6, poking is not a request for a jab in the ribs but
is a way of getting people to reply to a message on Facebook.
I hope that these rules can help you in some way. You did not tell
me your name so I will just end it like this,
Enjoy technology Mr Hermit.