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file:///E|/Funny%20&%20Weird%20Shit/75%20-%20Stephen%20King%20Books/Stephen%20King%20-%20Pet%20Sematary.htmnave and bower, was Cage’s coffin. Louis had picked the American Casket Company’s rosewood model—Eternal Rest, it was called. It was lined with plushy pink silk. The mortician agreed that it was really abeautiful coffin and apologized that he did not have one with a blue lining. Louis responded that he andRachel had never made such distinctions. The mortician had nodded. The mortician asked Louis if hehad thought about how he would defray the expenses ofCage’s funeral. If not, he said, he could take Louis into his office and quickly go over three of their morepopular plans— In Louis’s mind, an announcer suddenly spoke up cheerfully: Igot my kid’s coffin free, for Raleigh coupons!Feeling like a creature in a dream, he said, “I’m going to pay for everything with my MasterCard.”“Fine,” the mortician said.The coffin was no more than four feet long—a dwarf coffin. Nonetheless its price was slightly over sixhundred dollars. Louis supposed it rested on trestles, but the flowers made it difficult to see, and hehadn’t wanted to go too close. The smell of all those flowers made him want to gag.At the head of the aisle, just inside the door giving onto the foyer-lounge, was a book on a stand.Chained to the stand was a ballpoint pen. It was here that the funeral director positioned Louis, so hecould “greet his friends and relatives.”The friends and relatives were supposed to sign the book with their names and addresses. Louis hadnever had the slightest idea what the purpose of this mad custom might be, and he did not ask now. Hesupposed that when the funeral was over, he and Rachel would get to keep the book. That seemed themaddest thing of all. Somewhere he had a high school yearbook and a college yearbook and a medschool yearbook; there was also a wedding book, with MY WEDDING DAY stamped on the imitationleather in imitation gold leaf, beginning with a photo of Rachel trying on her bridal veil before themirror that morning with her mother’s help and ending with a photo of two pairs of shoes outside aclosed hotel door. There was also a baby book for Ellie— they had tired of adding to it rather quicklythough; that one— with its spaces for MY FIRST HAIRCUT (add a lock of baby’s hair) and WHOOPS!(add a picture of baby falling on her ass) —had been just too relentlessly cute.Now, added to all the others, this one. What do we call it?Louis wondered as he stood numbly beside the stand waiting forthe party to begin. MY DEATHBOOK? FUNERAL AUTOGRAPHS? THEDAY WE PLANTED GAGE? Or maybe something more dignified, likefile:///E|/Funny%20&%20Weird%20Shit/75%20-%20St...20Books/Stephen%20King%20-%20Pet%20Sematary.htm (187 of 333)7/28/2005 9:21:49 PM