Ainia's D'ni Journal - All Things Uru

D’ni Journal—Ainia

Tuesday 01 Jan ‘08It's the beginning of a new year and one ofmy annual resolutions (for longer than I care toadmit) has been to start focusing more on myD'ni studies and then journaling about them.So this year, I'm finally getting started.Let’s see, where to begin? There is much tochronicle here and I need to order my thoughts…Since I first learned of the D’ni presencehere on Terra, I've been particularly interestedin their culture and history, what with myundergraduate background in anthropology aswell as my field work as an archeologist. So afterhearing about the cavern, I became interested in(okay, obsessed with) finding the exact location ofthe cleft, the dates of the events with Ti’ana,Atrus and the others and how that fit in withthe general history of that time in New Mexico.—1—

Living in New Mexico myself for more than 30years now, I’ve felt particularly driven to ferretout such details. It’s very much as if all of thisis regarding friends or family I’ve only recentlylost touch with and am trying to relocate. It’skind of hard to describe my sense of intimacywith the events of the D’ni and my sense ofhome with the desert lands here.Also, since the beginning, I’ve had a privatetheory that it can’t be an accident that thenames D’ni and Dineh are so similar. Thatthere must be an ancient relationship betweenthe Navajo and the D’ni. And so I’ve beenresearching the possibility that this is indeed so.* * * *I’ve always found Tomahna to be a bit of apuzzle. On the one hand, Yeesha said that thecleft is located in Tomahna (during her speech—2—

where she takes credit for New Mexico’s monsoonseason, which I find more than a bit weird). Onthe other hand, although the landscape of Yeesha’syouth clearly is the New Mexico desert, theterrain is dramatically different from the cleftarea. It resembles some of the craggycanyonlands I’ve seen in northern New Mexico.And I’ve wondered for quite some timeexactly what the name Tomahna refers to. Forthe most part, when the D’ni refer to a place,they are speaking of a world. So would Tomahnarefer to all of New Mexico? Or North America?Or Terra itself? The pod ages use different worldnames for each continent…So the cleft being in Tomahna could meananything from its existence in New Mexico to itsexistence on Terra… Doesn’t narrow thingsdown much.—3—

* * * *Like so many others who found themselvescalled mysteriously to the New Mexico desert solong ago now—by Yeesha, as it turned out—Ifound myself wandering and searching forsomething indefinable back in 2003. My friendsthought it odd, but still I kept searching, drivingand walking endlessly on the weekends, throughthe familiar and unfamiliar desert places of myhomeland.And then one day it suddenly happened. Ifelt the strange tingling moving up through myhand and arm as I touched something. Momentsearlier I hadn’t even been thinking of where Iwas, what exactly I was doing. I was just walkingin the desert, wondering if I’d ever find whateverI was looking for, trying to plan out my next—4—

destination and wondering if I’d grow old andgrey before this strange urge was satisfied.The next thing I knew, I was moving. For abrief moment, I had the impression of windblowing through my hair and then found myselfbehind a simple barbed-wire fence near a smallcaldera. I could see I was still somewhere in NewMexico, but lost all thought of further details as Inoticed a “silver bullet” trailer in the distanceand heard faint strains of music over the breeze.And so my adventure began, as it did for somany of us.* * * *After receiving my Relto book, I could accessthe cavern from the comfort of my own home. Icould travel to Ae’gura or any of the othercountless worlds, all without needing to find thecleft again. And so for a while I forgot about the—5—

mysterious than I’d like. When I asked himexactly where on the New Mexico map we were, hejust grinned and said “Oh, that’s a question forYeesha!”* * * *And so I’ve realized that the only way toanswer that old question is to start where I didall those years ago and begin wandering the NewMexico desert places all over again.The hard part is figuring out exactly where tostart. When I really think back on the first timeI landed at the cleft, I realize that no matterwhere I happened to be when I linked thereseemingly spontaneously, the cleft itself could beanywhere. So even if I return to the exactlocation where I first linked from so long ago, thechances are it will tell me little to nothing aboutthe cleft’s location…—7—

But I have to start somewhere.—8—

Saturday 05 Jan ‘08I spent time earlier today researching onlinethe possible locations of the cleft in New Mexicoand re-reading The Book of Atrus, particularlythe parts that spoke of the desert caravans.I’ve believed for several years now that thecamels described in the caravan must be asimple mis-translation. I can only assumethat the translator knew the original D’ni wordmeant “beast of burden” and then assumed thatin the Terran desert it must mean a camel. Itmust have been later after the actual cleft andcaldera were discovered here in New Mexico thatthe error was recognized. So the caravan wouldhave consisted of burros rather than camels.The reported location in Eddy county is odd,though. Certainly not a mis-translation. Yet Isee no yucca, no mesquite, no cholla at the cleft.—9—

Only the sagebrush and grasses that are moretypical of the Upper Sonoran Life Zone fartherto the north.* * * *I just re-checked the DRC website. The photoof the cleft caldera there is tantalizing, to saythe least. Frustratingly, there are no detailsposted about the photo. The landscape is very flat,which in all fairness is quite typical of southernNew Mexico. Yet again, the vegetation consistsonly of the grasses and scrub one sees up north.Certainly, there are flat areas in northern NewMexico as well.Damn, this is frustrating! All these cluesand yet I can narrow things down only a tinybit. New Mexico is a very big state and I’ll haveto do better than this before I start wandering allover the place all over again…—10—

I printed out a screenshot of the DRC photo forfuture reference.* * * *I found a few current and historic maps ofNew Mexico online (wikipedia is great!). Lookingfor a trade route that the caravan would haveused. Of course! The Camino Real. And possiblythe Jornada del Muerto, that dangerous stretch of—11—

the Camino between old Fort Selden andSocorro. Hmm, there’s also a shield volcano atthe northern end of the Jornada—that’s certainlysuggestive. Perhaps I can find a picture of it,though the term itself isn’t promising—it soundsflat whereas the cleft caldera is relatively steepand tall.Yup, a shield volcano is too flat (thanksagain, wikipedia)…* * * *Okay, the caravan route simply must be areference to the Camino Real. The Caminofollows the Rio Grande valley north, more or less.As to exactly where along the Caminoeverything is located… And this would definitelyrule out Eddy County as the location since it’snearly 200 miles to the east of the Camino. Whatwas the DRC thinking in telling everyone this?—12—

A deliberate mis-communication? I suppose itwould prevent any unwanted visitorsinundating the cavern. Only the dedicated fewadventurers and mystery-solvers would have ahope of finding the true cavern while the restwould enjoy a nice visit to Carlsbad Caverns…* * * *Whoa, I just found a great article onlineabout New Mexico volcanoes. It even has a map!(L.S. Crumpler, you’re my hero of the day!) Ican see that the entire Rio Grande valley isdotted with volcanic fields, most of them to thewest. Absolutely nothing near Carlsbad or forthat matter anywhere in Eddy county. Anothernail in that coffin. Ok, DRC, what gives here?Hmm, I suppose there’s another side to this.I would guess that like any non-profitorganization which depends upon the charity of—13—

others to survive, the DRC must exist with aconstant undercurrent of chaos and drama.After all, as visitors to the cavern, we’ve beenwitness to various bubblings and churningswithin and without the DRC. They certainlyhave their paranoid side, fearing liability for theexplorers’ safety (and occasional foolishness),Sharper’s adversarial mindset… so perhapsmisinformation is one way they try to mitigatethese fears… But if so, these things have a wayof backfiring.* * * *Boy, it’s going to take a lot of long road tripsto check all this out. I’ll have to see what kind ofphotos I can find online first. Gas prices arejust too high right now to do serious road researchuntil after I narrow things down a bit.* * * *—14—

I found a fantastic old map (circa 1895) onthe internet and printed it out. I’ve drawn onthe locations of the Camino Real, CarlsbadCaverns, Navajo Land, and all the volcanicareas. There are tons of volcanic areas near theCamino Real! I’ll have to figure out which oneshave a good view of the Camino (this was prettyclear from The Book of Atrus). And the onlyreliable way to do this most likely will involvedriving there and hiking around. Luckily most ofthem should be accessible from I-25 (I hope!)since the highway follows the Rio Grande valley(and thus the Camino Real).—15—

Annotated map of New Mexico circa 1895—16—

Friday 25 Jan ‘08I’ve been continuing my online research thismonth with nothing much to report.But I just got a call from an oldanthropology friend who wants to go on a roadtrip tomorrow to Three Rivers and asked if Imight be interested in helping with the longdrive. Talk about timing! Three Rivers was oneof the places I remember searching all thoseyears back when I was feeling the call.So of course I said yes. Gotta get to bed as itwill be a very early morning.—17—

Saturday 26 Jan ‘08Got up before dawn, packed a picnic lunch,grabbed my notebook and headed to town to meetup with Kenny. I’m having a pleasant tripwatching the winter early morning landscapeand reminiscing with Ken. We’ve done similarroad trips from time to time, sometimes upnorth to places like Chaco Canyon and Bandelier,other times going south as we are today.* * * *We just arrived and it’s a sunny wintermorning with snow here and there in themorning light. I’d forgotten how amazing all thepetroglyphs are, what a wondrous collection ofancient native rock art this place contains.Thank goodness I remembered my camera.* * * *—18—

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god… I can’tbelieve what I’m seeing here in the petroglyphs.I’m taking photos as proof because without them,I don’t think anyone would believe me…First, I find a couple of Bahro harvesting aTeledahn mushroom and some images ofShroomie.Next, I find a figure that must be Yeesha…Then I find several things that look verymuch like the Great Shaft.And then some very D’ni-like patterns,including some obvious representations ofKadish’s symbol with a Riven dagger. The D’nisymbols are absolutely everywhere here. It’salmost frightening…—19—

Two Bahro harvesting a mushroom.—20—

Two renditions of Shroomie.—21—

Although it’s debatable whether this is Yeesha, theimages of the Bahro and Shroomie seal theverdict for me.—22—

Even though the Great Shaft is round lookingdown, this glyph seems to be more symbolic thanliteral. Note the steps and then the down-arrows—23—

and winding path which leads to a series ofrooms—perhaps the Tomahn in the shaft or thecity buildings in the cavern itself.—24—

Another rendition of the path to the cavern?The City beneath within the cavern walls.—25—

Some D’ni-like abstract patterns.—26—

More abstract patterns.—27—

Kadish’s symbol with a Riven Moiety daggerbelow.—28—

Another version of Kadish’s symbol.And then I find something Kenny and I liketo call a “busy rock”—nearly the entire surface isfilled with figures. And there at the top,partially chipped away with age and almostobscured by all the other art—a star fissure. Ihold my hand near the rock surface, over theimage. Sure enough, I can feel a familiar fainttingling. But I don’t have my Relto book with—29—

me today. And besides, Kenny would absolutelyfreak.The star fissure is roughly diamond-shaped atthe very top.—30—

I know this isn’t where I linked to the cleftfrom so long ago… which would mean that theremay be many similar linking points throughoutNew Mexico. Or heck, even throughout Terra. Ihave to assume this is thanks to Yeesha…So although this is a fantastic find, thesobering truth is that I still am no closer tounderstanding exactly where the cleft is located.So I still need to start driving the Camino Realand see if I can spot the caldera from the road.I’ll go ahead and add Three Rivers to the map.At the next opportunity, I think I’ll reviewthe DRC journals in the cavern. Maybe I’ll findmore clues there.—31—

Sunday 27 January ‘08Woke up this morning with a weird feeling Ijust can’t shake from a dream I haven’t had inmany years now. I suppose this was inspired byyesterday’s field trip and my excitement withfinding the D’ni rock art…I saw her again. She just kept looking at mewith those piercing dark eyes. She looked the sameas before, with her dark hair tied back in a bundleat her neck, her wrinkled face holding a deepwisdom that made me afraid to hold her gaze.I knew she was trying to tell me something,something important. Just like in my dreams solong ago, back when I was studying anthropologyat UNM. So many long years ago…I used to be afraid to go to sleep some nights.Not that she is nightmarish. But I would alwayswake up sad and frustrated and desperate. Then—32—

as now, I would wake up sensing the dream wasimportant, that she was important. Andknowing that I couldn’t remember somethingabout it. Knowing if I couldn’t remember intime, something tragic would happen…I’d forgotten how haunting these dreams are.Not sure how the rest of my day will go; need toshake this off and keep working on my D’niresearch.I wonder what it really means, though, thatthere are so many D’ni symbols on the surface.Perhaps a strong clue that the D’ni and Dinehare linked. Or that others of the surface nativesfound their way downward to the cavern and toldtheir tales of adventure through the petroglyphs…—33—

Friday 08 Feb ‘08Thought I’d start my research tonight bychecking the online forums. Boy, I’m glad I did! Iran into something unexpected there, somereferences to the Lara Documents.Apparently, some time in the late 1800s aMexican prospector named Domasio Larastumbled upon an entrance to the cavern,figured he’d found El Dorado and took somerandom papers back to the surface to prove hisclaims. But no one believed him and so thepapers became family heirlooms that were passeddown the generations.Somehow, J.D. Barnes (an amateuranthropologist and D’ni historian) got his handson them and publicized his need for assistancewith translation and restoration a few months—34—

ago. I note, though, that no one is certain ifthese documents are genuine rather than a hoax.But here’s the really interesting part—according to Lara family tradition, thedocuments themselves were found in northernNew Mexico just south of the San Luis valley!So this is indeed a support to my theory that thecavern is not in Eddy County but in northernNew Mexico! And since this also is located muchnearer to the Navajo reservation, this alsosupports my theory that the Navajo are anoffshoot of the ancient D’ni.* * * *Did some quick research online and found themarriage record mentioned by Barnes, betweenDomasio Lara and Meliana Galindo. They weremarried November 3, 1893 in Eddy County,which may explain the roots of the misperception—35—

egarding the cavern’s location. I’m guessingthat at least during Lara’s time, the region wasfilled with stories about the cavern as he tried toget folks to believe his tale. So I’m guessing thatthe rumors followed him around as he continuedprospecting throughout New Mexico. But since hemarried in Eddy County, I’m assuming that hesettled there to raise his family, so Eddy Countywould likely have remained the hotbed of thecavern rumor mill in his time.I made a reduced photocopy of the onlinemarriage record and am taping it below just incase I need to refer to it again.—36—

—37—

Still, since the Lara Documents are a recentre-discovery, they wouldn’t have had a directeffect on the DRC. I can only surmise that partof their research regarding the cavern and itslocation had to include myths and legendsregarding such things. It’s an understandablepoint of confusion, with Lara settling in EddyCounty with his tales of a mysterious lostcavern and with Carlsbad Caverns happening tobe in the neighborhood…* * * *More online research, this time about theSan Luis valley. It’s frustratingly difficult tofind a decent map of the New Mexico portion—probably about 80-90% of the valley is located insouthern Colorado. But so far, it seems that theNew Mexico portion is the wide flat plains areanorthwest of Taos and extending northward—note—38—

the potential resemblance to the DRC photo ofthe cleft caldera. I’ll go ahead and add this to themap (but will have to use some guesswork).If Lara found the cavern entrance south ofthere, then this would place the probable locationin the general Taos area, relatively near thefinal northern destination of the Camino Real—San Juan Pueblo. Well, this is narrowing thingsdown more and the pieces are beginning to fitbetter. I feel like I’m finally getting somewhere.Hmm, there’s an interesting collection ofalien conspiracy web sites that mention the SanLuis valley, particularly in relation to cattlemutilations. From my days living in northernNew Mexico, I remember hearing stories aboutthe Taos Hum, as well as the occasionalmutilation story. The hum, conceivably, could bethe sound of the air shaft pumps when the—39—

surface winds are just right. And I remember afriend who lived in the Española valley oncetelling me about how upsetting the mutilationstories are for the ranchers, so the stories areabout something real enough, at least for thelocals.You know, it would make a weird kind ofsense, though… If the cavern really is locatedsomewhere in that region, then it extends over avast underground area. And surely there is atleast one other entrance; surely something musthave existed before the Great Shaft was built. SoLara didn’t necessarily find the Great Shaftitself, but perhaps an older, more hiddenentrance. And there’s no telling where in thecavern that entrance might have led him…And the cattle mutilation stories might berelated to the Bahro. Perhaps this means that the—40—

Bahro were accustomed to coming and goingfrom the cavern even before the Great Shaft wasbuilt. And perhaps they hunted the beasts on thesurface. So when the farmers and ranchersarrived to the San Luis valley, their livestockbecame new prey…* * * *Yet more online research. Went to theMystLore web site (don’t know why the heck Ididn’t do this first thing way back in January).Looked up the Zandi history and learned that thecavern was actually discovered by a John Loftin,and was first explored by both Loftin and EliasZandi, Jeff’s father. Elias sounds like he wasquite the character. They established the D’niRestoration Foundation (DRF) for the specificpurpose of documenting and restoring the D’nicavern. And the DRF later became the DRC…—41—

This is an interesting piece of news… whichmeans that there was never any mystery for theDRC about the cavern’s location; they neverwere hunting down its location based on oldstories or found artifacts. Hmm, myassumptions about this have been way off, itturns out.So what does this really mean about my littlemystery then? I’ll have to think about this for awhile. In the meanwhile, back to my cleft search.* * * *I just went online and used Google maps toget a satellite map of New Mexico. My, my,modern technology is wonderful. It’s much easierto see the San Luis valley this way—it’s thelarge grey and green ovoid shape in the center ofthe southern Colorado-northern New Mexicoborder, running north-south. As I’d suspected,—42—

Taos is at the very far southern end, perhapseven south of the valley proper. I was able to addballoon markers for Carlsbad Caverns (purple),Santa Ana Pueblo (pink) and Taos (red).—43—

Okay, enough speculation and internetcruising. I really need to get back to the cavernand read those journals.—44—

Saturday 09 Feb ‘08Road trips and cleft locations are out thewindow for now. I’m all afire about somethingeven more important!When I was re-reading the DRC journals onthe Tokotah rooftop earlier, some of theinformation in a couple of the journals struckme quite differently. Sam’s journal aboutRi’neref briefly mentions a group of earlyTerran D’ni disappearing shortly after the greatair shaft was completed, speculating that theyhad remained on the Terran surface—could thisbe the Dineh? And in Tricia’s journal aboutD'ni Class Systems, when reading the briefpassage about the lowest class, “The Least”, it hitme like a thunderbolt—reminding me of a longforgottenpassage I'd read years ago in collegewhen writing a paper for one of my anthropology—45—

classes. At that time, I was researching thehistory of female shamans in New Mexico at theUNM libraries. I'd found a lot of informationabout shamans gathered in the past century(1800s) as well as the early to mid 1900s, whenhistorians and even some missionaries wereinterested in learning more about the nativepeoples here and preserving their history.However, there was very little about femaleshamans.In the library special collections, I'd foundone document that had particularly puzzled me,a transcription of an elderly Navajo shamanessrecounting her life, written up in the middle orlate 1800's. At that time, I'd found myselfwondering if she was only partially lucid becauseof the oddity of some of the things she spoke of.At any rate, I remembered one phrase inparticular that had struck me back then, when—46—

she was talking about a god who was one of the"small of stature". When I'd first read this, Ithought it an odd way to refer to a short god—thetranslator had said quite clearly in hisintroduction that he'd been very careful aboutaccuracy and also had been puzzled by thisterm—but I had filed it away on my list ofinteresting but unrelated topics to my paper.Today on the Tokotah rooftop I rememberedthat old phrase and realized that perhaps she wastalking about those the D'ni and Yeesha calledThe Least—the Bahro. Not “small in stature” asin height; “small in stature” as in caste. If myhunch is right, then this shamaness must haveknown something about the Bahro! A Dinehshamaness who knows of the Bahro...I simply must look into this, and soon!—47—

Sunday 10 Feb ‘08She was back in my dreams again. This timewas different though. Although she was stilllooking at me with those piercing eyes, she wassmiling. Smiling and nodding.I woke up with a sense of hope instead of theusual frustration and sadness. Something evenbigger than I’d realized must be afoot.Okay, no more delays, I’ll take tomorrow offfrom work and head to the UNM libraries. I needto get started on this now.—48—

Monday 11 Feb ‘08Took a vacation day so I could travel toAlbuquerque and I’m spending a long day backat UNM trying to find that paper. The staff atthe Maxwell Museum are being very helpful.* * * *It took a couple of hours, but we've finallyfound it! It would have gone quicker if I couldhave remembered more about what I'd read allthose years ago; but I’m unspeakably gratefulthat we were successful. The staff were even kindenough to photocopy the entire transcription forme (which I intend to have bound up as a book).And they helped me to look for any furtherinformation about this shamaness, known asHard Flint Woman. But there’s nothing elsehere. So I’m now devouring every word of thetranscription, taking notes as I read.—49—

* * * *I was mistaken in my earlier recollectionthat this was a recounting of her life. I see thatHard Flint Woman was trying to pass on herknowledge of the sacred history and ways of theDineh. All those passages that had seemed oddin my youth should make a whole new sense forme in the context of the D'ni.* * * *First World. Hmm, it kind of reminds me ofthe Genesis creation story, with its darkness andlight. But other than that, it just sounds odd.A seed coming forth from the darkness.Perhaps another reference to creation? The firstlife forms (other than First Male and FirstFemale)? First Female giving birth?* * * *—50—

Second World. This one also reminds me ofthe Genesis creation story with its talk of a greatvoid.But Insect People? Inside the seed? This isdifferent from the Judeo-Christian creationmyth; insects weren’t the first creation there.Now wait a minute, this is getting just tooweird! The Insect People are talking to each otherinside the seed?? They’re living there forgenerations? If I didn’t know any better, I’d sayit sounds like a space ship stuck somewhere…I don’t know if it would be cool or just crazybizarre to bring aliens into this!Blue mist… If I remember my Navajocreation mythology (and yes, it’s been a fewyears), there was something about a blue cloud(or was it blue people?) in one of their earlyworlds. And come to think of it, there were a—51—

variety of insect-type people in their earlyworlds too.A short reference to the Insect People havingmade a world. Well, this sounds familiar!* * * *Third World. Okay, now we’re cooking with gas!This one sounds much more like a real place.And the Insect People sound like refugees,looking for a place to call home…A wide variety of 0ther people already there—sounds familiar from the D’ni perspective (I’mremembering all their written worlds thatalready had sentient beings living there).Another reference to making worlds. Butthat’s it? Nothing else about the Art? Surelythey did something with it!—52—

Okay, now this is interesting! The LocustPeople befriending the Tree People; and the TreePeople eventually learning the Art from them.So this would mean… that the Locust People arethe Bahro and the Tree People are the D’ni?Of course! It makes perfect sense. TreePeople as in worshipers of the Great Tree, theRonay. And now that I think about it, theBahro I’ve seen do look insect-like so I caneasily imagine them being called locusts.So this is where they first met, in ThirdWorld. And all the Insect People, apparently,already knew the Art. And the Ronay didn’t—hah!Here we go, a pretty clear reference tolinking away from Third World and wanderingfrom world to world for a long time trying tofind their way back.—53—

But what the heck does that really mean? Thisbanishment and wandering from world to worldis all within the context of Third World, not afourth world. So there must be somethingprofoundly different between some of theseworlds. Or does it mean that the transition fromthe first and second worlds was by some uniquemeans? Another puzzle.Okay, keep reading.Uh oh, trouble in paradise. A pretty clearaccount of how the Bahro fell from grace with theRonay and became The Least.Well, this all says pretty clearly that theBahro are the masters of the Art, perhaps eventhe inventors, rather than the D’ni. And itexplains the D’ni hostility and low regard forthem. Exacting revenge on the Bahro for theirmutual exile in Third World. An attempt to—54—

hide the “shameful” truth, that the D’ni learnedthe Art from “mere animals” (which the Bahroclearly are not!). And why they enslaved theBahro with the tablet. Why they feared the Bahro.And here’s another reference to a madeworld, yet it is treated as Fourth World. So whatwould the profound difference be here? If we’retalking space aliens, then maybe it means worldsin a different galaxy… If it’s something alongthese lines, then I may have to brush up on myastrophysics to figure this out better.* * * *Fourth World. No doubt about it, this isdescribing the cavern. And the task ofconstructing the Great Shaft, ordered byRi’neref.Okay, no more references to the LocustPeople, but instead talk about an individual—55—

Bahro, Locust Being. There’s that formerlymysterious phrase “small of stature”; and he’sconsidered a god. Interesting.So apparently this Bahro traveled to FourthWorld along with the D’ni refugees fromGarternay. It doesn’t really say whether theBahro in general emigrated too, but from whatwe know of the cavern today, the Bahro certainlylive there now.And the workers called the lowly ones must bethe ancient Navajo, the Dineh. Which meansthat somewhere in the latter days of Third World,they had become lower class citizens and werethus denied knowledge of the Art. So it wouldmake sense that they’d see the Bahro as a god,having the power of the D’ni Writers yet alsoable to come and go at will without the need forthe books.—56—

* * * *Fifth World. Okay, I really don’t get thedistinction between Worlds here. The Bahro hasobviously led the Dineh out of the shaft onto thesurface. No linking. No alternate galaxy. Grrr,this is frustrating!The Bahro teaching them the ways of thesurface world—so this Bahro had obviously beenon the surface already. In fact he was familiarenough with it to know it pretty intimately.And it says that he sent for other Bahro butthey did not come, so this must mean that moreBahro were living in the cavern then. But sincethey didn’t come, it might mean that LocustBeing had become something of an outcast fromhis own people, perhaps because of his friendshipwith the D’ni workers.—57—

So it seems clear that this one Bahro hadexplored the surface. But were the other Bahroalso familiar with Terra? Perhaps they’d alreadytraveled here before the D’ni immigration?Could they even have made this world themselves(rather than Ri’neref)? I’m giving myself aheadache here. Let’s move on.This god later teaches them about makingworlds, a sacred and hidden knowledge only givento a few. Still the D’ni secrecy… Hmm, theDineh didn't have a written language untilrelatively recent times; but the Bahro don't usethe Art of Writing to access their worlds... Infact, I’m not sure I know exactly how theypractice the Art—does anyone? Esher seems tohave known a great deal about them, yet he wasmore interested in them as animals. I supposeYeesha must know more about them as a—58—

culture; she says she learned from them aboutthe Art during her pilgrimage to the cavern.Hmm, now that I think more about it, Irecall that Esher linked in and out by touchingsomething on his shoulder that certainly lookedlike a Bahro symbol… (yes, he was quite thehypocrite)… and so Yeesha may have developedthe Relto book using the same Bahro principles.So the Bahro use symbols to link? Or perhapsthat’s only one method of several that they use.When I observe them linking in and out, theydon’t seem to really do anything, they just…disappear. Okay, enough circular speculation,back to reading the transcription.This is interesting. The Bahro philosophyabout the use of the Art seems to be quitedifferent from that of the traditional D'ni. TheDineh are instructed to use the Art purely as a—59—

spiritual practice, as part of a sacred ceremonythat acknowledges the limitless reach of themultiverse as well as their place within it asboth creators and the created. They do not speakof Yahvo, but instead seem to see the entirety ofthe multiverse as a living and breathing being,layers upon layers of worlds and consciousnessand creation and creator.Wait a minute! Surely not…I’ve always wondered why Katran and Yeeshahad such a different talent for writing worlds.Could it be that they learned the Art not onlyfrom the traditional D’ni ways but also from theBahro? We know that Yeesha was born duringHard Flint Woman’s time. And we know thatYeesha learned from the Bahro when she madeher pilgrimage to the cavern as an adult. Butwhat if that’s not where it started? It’s possible—60—

that anyone living at the cleft would have knownof Locust Being… or even known Locust Being…and that Ti’ana could have learned from himand passed that knowledge on… I keep picturingTi’ana following not a white rabbit but a Bahrodown the rabbit hole of the Great Shaft. If this istrue, it would certainly add a whole newdimension to what we know of Atrus and hisclan… and to the pure hatred the Veovis andGehn had for Ti’ana.Oh wow, and now that I think about it, I’vealways wondered about that Bahro cave under thetree in the cleft. I suppose Yeesha might havebuilt it sometime during her pilgrimage, longafter the cleft had been abandoned. Or it could beconnected to Locust Being—perhaps he wasactually living there back in Ti’ana’s time? Butthere is no mention of this in The Book ofAtrus… yet another puzzle.—61—

And here it talks about the god's death andburial, that there were important sacred relicsburied with him. It sounds as though Hard FlintWoman knew him and buried him, she speaks sopersonally—“I have buried him in the cliffs alongwith the sacred things of his kind." What cliffs?This is maddening—this burial has got to besomewhere here in New Mexico.Although the transcription was done atJemez Pueblo, I’m sure Hard Flint Womanspent most of her life in Navajo land. Andsurely it's still undiscovered—finding Bahroremains would be groundbreaking news indeedand not likely to remain quiet for long. I justhave to find this burial!Fortunately, the transcriber wrote a fairlylengthy introduction which gives me enoughinformation about Hard Flint Woman to begin—62—

looking for her descendants. Although I realizeit’s a long shot, I’m hoping that there is furtherhistory or oral traditions that can illuminatethis god and his burial.Okay, I think I’ll quit here. The rest of thetranscription appears to be about other worlds, sothey can wait until later. The great Bahro huntis now on in this world!* * * *I just asked the staff at the museum if theyhad any suggestions about where to start lookingfor this woman's family. They gave me thenames of several professors whose specialties arethe Navajo peoples, Native American history orgenealogy of native tribes.I have a lot of phone calls to make.—63—

Saturday 03 May ‘08It’s been a few months since I’ve written.My spare time has been overtaken with all theendless phone calls and emails and visits to thecontacts and their contacts and their contacts.A seemingly endless chain of names andpossibilities that quickly became worthless torecord here, so much of it petering out tonothing.But last week I finally had a truly promisingname and a phone number. And today I foundmyself driving out to Gallup to meet with ManyRivers, the great-great-great-greatgranddaughter (whew!) of Hard Flint Woman.Her granddaughter, Natalie, met me at theMcDonald's and drove me many miles out to hergrandmother's home and hogan. As we drove, Itold Natalie that I was so very grateful that they—64—

were willing to talk to me, a stranger, abouttheir family and history. Natalie looked at mewith a grin and said that she'd actually cautionedher grandmother about telling family matters tooutsiders and that her grandmother had beenadamant that Natalie go get me and bring me toher. I was very surprised and said so; Nataliereplied that she was just as surprised. I satquietly thinking on this.After a bumpy ride on a long and windingdirt road, we came to the top of a narrow mesawith a spectacular view. Natalie parked the oldpickup and told me that she lived with hergrandmother so it was okay to just get out and goto the house. I found myself both excited andnervous; and then as I reached the doorway, Ifound myself very peaceful and calm. I looked atNatalie and said "Your grandmother is a—65—

shamaness too, just like Hard Flint Woman,isn't she?" Natalie looked surprised and said yes.Many Rivers sat on a weathered chair in thetiny living room just inside the door. She wasdressed in traditional garb, a very elderly womanwith grey hair tied at the nape of her neck andpiercing black eyes. I found myself almost afraidto hold her gaze, shivering involuntarily at theunexpected reminder of my dreams. She spokein English with a strong Navajo accent andsmiled. “Sit.” I sat on the old overstuffed couch;Natalie sat on a simple wooden chair."You took your time coming here mydaughter.” At first I thought she must bechiding her granddaughter about the long drive;but I realized she was looking right at me, rightthrough me. She was saying this to me.—66—

I said "I only just now found you aftermany long weeks and months of searching.”"But you knew of our Many Greats longyears ago and did not look then. You have seenher many times in the shadow world, for she hastold me so herself.” Still smiling, she said "Nomatter; you are here now. But you are runningout of time.”I was startled and confused; which made metongue-tied. Fortunately, as it turned out. Mymind was racing trying to understand what she'djust said to me, speaking to me as though sheknew all about me, knew all about how I'd read ofHard Flint Woman so long ago, knew about thedreams I’d had years ago and had begun havingonce again. I finally realized that she did. Asimpossible as it might seem, she did know me—67—

and knew of my past somehow. I suppose that'swhat being a shamaness means."It is good that you are not so full of words asso many women and white folk. You know how tolisten. You know that words in the end areempty. So you will understand the ways of theancient god, where words are as nothing. Andyet, you are indeed here to receive words.” Shepaused and smiled. “Do not worry, in the endyou will understand this.”I continued to sit quietly and listen. I foundmyself listening to the silence of the room andfeeling pulled into those sharp eyes of hers."Yes, you are the one indeed. You are ready.”Many Rivers got up, went to another room ofthe house and brought back an old book. She gaveit to me gravely and said "These are the words ofmy ancestress Singing Flowers. She was the—68—

granddaughter of our Many Greats, Hard FlintWoman. She tells of her grandmother in this bookand said to her granddaughter that this book wouldbe given one day to a seeker, a white woman whowas hearing the call of Many Greats, that thisbook would guide the seeker. So eachgranddaughter has kept the book carefully andpassed on the message. And so here you finallyare. The book is yours to keep.”Many Rivers turned, walked back to the farroom and gently closed the door. I sat stunned.After a few moments I realized that ourmeeting was over, that Many Rivers would notemerge from her room until I was long gonefrom her home. I looked at Natalie. She lookedsober and almost sad. "I'll take you back to yourcar.”—69—

We both sat quietly for most of the drive back.I realized that I hadn't even thanked ManyRivers; that she hadn't given me the chance tosay anything further to her."Please tell your grandmother that there areno words to thank her for her hospitality,kindness and trust. I will honor and care for thisbook just as she has.”Natalie said "You know, I'd never reallyknown much about that book, just that it wasimportant. I never would have guessed that itwas destined to leave our family.”I got out of the pickup. "Thank-you Natalie.I'm honored to have met you and yourgrandmother. I wish you the best in your life.”Natalie nodded and backed the pickup, turnedand drove out of the parking lot. It was late andI was alone. I got into my car and began the long—70—

drive back to Albuquerque and then to home. Ispent the entire drive lost in thought and foundmyself in my driveway and then in my garagewondering how I'd gotten there. I'd only beenpartially aware of the drive itself.* * * *In spite of the long day, late hour and myexhaustion, I needed to sit up and chronicle myday. It is just too important to wait untiltomorrow and after sleeping, I might forgetsome important details. It just kills me to waituntil later to read Singing Flowers’ book, butI’m too exhausted to keep my eyes open. I’mhaving trouble reading my own writing…—71—

Sunday 04 May ‘08And so begins the next chapter of myjourney.I’ve spent all day reading the book. It’sactually a journal dictated by Singing Flowers toher granddaughter Ruth, chronicling Hard FlintWoman’s life. An incredible treasure trove ofinformation about Hard Flint Woman. Ilearned more about how Singing Flowers hadcome to marry a Jemez man; and that HardFlint Woman had gone to live with them there inearly 1862 nearly two years before the LongWalk. That she was still living there when shesuddenly demanded that her granddaughter gofind a stranger who would write down everythingthat Hard Flint Woman said to him.There are some pretty strong hints that theBahro was still alive when Hard Flint Woman—72—

went to the Jemez valley and that he died atsome point while she was still there. And itseems pretty likely that she spent the rest of herdays living there. So perhaps the death of theBahro might have spurred her to preserve herknowledge in writing. If I’m right about all that,then the Bahro is most likely buried somewherein or near the Jemez river valley andmountains. At least this narrows things down.I’ve got to get out my calendar and see aboutgetting up north to the canyonlands to hike onthe upcoming weekends and holidays. Lucky forme that I already like the great outdoors! Prettytough duty, enjoying the fresh air and scenicwonders of northern New Mexico! I hope theweather holds.I redid the Google satellite map to show JemezPueblo too (marked with an orange “A” balloon).—73—

And I’m adding a rough timeline of the probabledates of various events, hoping it will help meget my head around the history and interrelationshipsbetween everything here.• 1694 Anna/Ti’ana is born• 1712 Ti’ana finds the D’ni cavern• 1736 Gehn is born• 1745 D’ni falls• 1755 Atrus is born• 1785 Ti’ana dies• 1802 Hard Flint Woman is born• 1815 Hard Flint Woman tells Narbona tobeware the coming storm; Yeesha is born• 1818 Pistol Bullet is born• 1820 Hard Flint Woman’s husband is killed;her daughter Happy Tears is born• 1823 Spanish treaty with Navajos• 1828 Gold discovered in Ortiz Mountains• ~1830 Yeesha begins her pilgrimage—74—

• 1841 Texas attempts to seize New Mexicofrom Mexico• 1842 Hard Flint Woman’s granddaughterSinging Flowers is born• 1846 Mexican-American War begins;General Kearney enters New Mexico; NewMexico is declared a US Territory• 1849 Narbona is killed• 1851 Fort Defiance is built• 1853 Diego is captured and sold into slavery• 1855 Diego escapes and stays with HardFlint Woman; Singing Flowers sees thehidden god for the first time• 1856 Diego and Singing Flowers aremarried; horse race disaster at FortDefiance; Diego and Singing Flowers travelto Fort Defiance• 1858 Singing Flowers is pregnant andreturns with Diego to Hard Flint Woman—75—

• 1859 Morning Snow is born; SingingFlowers and Diego return to Walatowa• 1861 Civil War comes to New Mexico• 1862 Hard Flint Woman travels toWalatowa• 1863 Boston College founded (thirdfounding)• 1864 Hard Flint Woman’s nightmaresbegin; Happy Tears and Autumn Snowtravel to Walatowa; the Long Walk begins• 1865 John Phillips Esq. travels to NewMexico• 1867 Two-headed lamb is born in Walatowa;John Phillips Esq. records Hard FlintWoman’s memoirs and returns to Bostonwith the manuscript; Singing Flowers ispregnant• 1868 Hard Flint Woman dies (?)—76—

• 1876 Hard Flint Woman’s memoirsdelivered to Fr. Sargasso in Santa Fe• 1879 Railroad arrives in New Mexico• 1888 Fr. Sargasso prints copy of HardFlint Woman’s memoirs• 1893 Pistol Bullet dies• 1898 Spanish-American War• 1910 Ruth Atcittie records SingingFlowers’ memoirs• 1935 Navajo writing system developed• 1977 Ainia first reads about Hard FlintWoman• 1987 John Loftin rediscovers the D’ni• ~1990 DRF is formed by Zandi and Loftin• 1997 Dr. Watson reforms the DRF into theDRC• 2003 Explorers begin arriving in the cavernfrom the surface—77—

Saturday 10 May ‘08I went hiking in the Jemez Mountains today.The weather was perfect. But yikes, there arecountless cliff faces to search. I’m going to haveto get a really good survey map and work a gridsystem here. I found an old cabin, probably fromthe early 1900’s, and got some lovely photos ofthe great outdoors. But no Bahro. Yet…One of the many cliffs near Walatowa andJemez Springs.—78—

I really liked the tree in this one. But ho boy,there are sooooo many cliff faces around here!—79—

Saturday 24 May ‘08Didn’t have time last weekend to go hiking, sotried to make up for lost time today. Bad idea.I’m really worn out—at least I have the Mondayholiday to recuperate. And now I know better.The grid system is working nicely. At least Ihave the illusion of orderly progress! But nothingto report. Yet.Just had to go by the Valles Caldera.—80—

It’s hard to comprehend the size of that thing—ifyou squint just right, you can see a tiny boxthat is actually someone’s house!—81—

Saturday 07 Jun ‘08Had to skip last weekend as well. In spite ofthe holiday, it was crazy busy at work (I keepforgetting that these short holiday weeks work likethat). So I spent all week dragging my butt andrealized that I couldn’t afford to risk a weekendhiking without some proper rest. After all, it’srugged enough in the mountains without astupid-weary hiker stumbling and breaking herneck in the middle of nowhere and nobody withinearshot.But today I was able to cover enoughterritory to mark off another part of the grid. Nojoy. Yet.—82—

Saturday 14 Jun ‘08Another long day hiking. And another bust.Oh well, I’m trying to stay motivated andhopeful. I keep reminding myself of ManyRivers saying I’m running out of time. And Ikeep hoping that these shamanesses know whatthey’re talking about with their stories of a whitewoman keeping their legacy.Oh crap, but they actually don’t say whetherthis white woman will succeed… No pressurethere… Think positive…—83—

I stopped by Soda Dam to cheer myself up! Ikeep wondering how different it might have lookedin Hard Flint Woman’s time. I’m sure it wasused by the Jemez natives back then for itsmedicinal properties. But there was no mentionof it in Singing Flowers’ journal.—84—

A close-up of a couple of the smaller mineralwater pools—maybe they’re actually old foot-holdsin the stone?—85—

Saturday 21 Jun ‘08Okay, I’ll start right off by saying I didn’tfind the Bahro today either. I’ve decided that Ineed to start focusing on just enjoying myselfno matter what happens here. The naturalbeauty of these mountains really is hard todescribe. Spectacular. Awe-inspiring. Magical.And I keep missing all that by being so obsessedwith the Bahro and Hard Flint Woman.I’m getting lots of nice photos. Maybe I’ll sellthem as postcards. It would be a great secondcareer!—86—

A nice little waterfall I ran into earlier today.Below, a close-up shot of a little rivulet andsome new fungus near the waterfall.—87—

—88—

Saturday 28 Jun ‘08Today’s hike was a bit more crowded thanusual. It must be the beginning of theIndependence Day crowd. I’d forgotten howpopular these mountains are on the summerholidays. I’ll have to think about whether I wantto bother hiking next weekend when things aresure to be even busier out here.Other hikers are a mixed bag. On the onehand, it makes things safer if something tragicshould happen and I get injured. On the otherhand, if a minor miracle should occur and Idiscover the Bahro, I’m not sure I’d want myfellow hikers to know. Now that I think about it, Isee that Hard Flint Woman and Many Rivershave placed an enormous trust in me to protectand respect their ancient ways. Anglo holidayhikers are not exactly a good security risk.—89—

I don’t think I’ll hike next weekend after all.—90—

Saturday 12 Jul ‘08The holiday and its hikers have officially comeand gone and the annual monsoon season hasbegun. Damn, I’d been harboring a small hopethat I’d find the Bahro before the rains began. Ohwell…I spent part of the hike just trying to stayout of the floods from the heavens, trying to staydry. In the mountains, this can be a trickybusiness as it’s hazardous to hang out under thetrees during a thunderstorm. I met someoneonce who had been struck by lightning while doingjust that and he’d never been the same again…So the going went a lot slower today. Man,it’s going to take a lot longer to cover the grids atthis rate.—91—

Saturday 19 Jul ‘08One more weekend hike shot. I got rained onplenty today, but I’d brought a waterproof so Icould keep hiking in the rain. The mud wasawful, though, and slowed me down considerably. Imust have knocked off at least ten pounds ofthat wet muck per boot when I stopped for abreather. Hiking with mud-laden boots remindsme of trying to run in waist-deep water.Exhausting and slow progress to boot (har).I think I’ll head to the other side of themountain range next trip. Although it’s muchless likely that Hard Flint Woman went that farafield from Jemez Pueblo, I need somethingdifferent here.—92—

Sunday 20 Jul ‘08During a quick trip to town today, I saw thiscar and had to snap a quick picture with myiPhone camera. I wonder if Yeesha might havebeen driving…I blew up the license plate with Gimp (too bad itcame out so fuzzy).—93—

Although I don’t like to think of myself assuperstitious, I do hope that this is a good signand that I’m on the right track here!—94—

Saturday 02 Aug ‘08Had to skip hiking last week—a friendvisiting from out of town. It was good to seeHarold again, but I was sorry to miss the hike. Idebated about telling him of my little project butdecided against it. No need to worry others withthis until I know it’s not a wild goose chase!So today was the first day hiking on the otherside of the mountain. I had to be careful of thelaboratory property there—I’ve heard more thanone tale of wayward hikers being hauled off bysecurity guards. I sure hope they have theirboundaries well marked.I didn’t find the Bahro but have realized thatthis part of the mountains has great potential.Many of the cliff faces are relatively softvolcanic ash which was readily carved by theancient native peoples into cave dwellings. I—95—

could definitely see a Bahro carving himself outa nice little niche here. Or helping himself to anold abandoned cave.I’m looking forward to next weekend!—96—

An example of the countless volcanic ash cliffsin the Jemez Mountains—97—

Saturday 09 Aug ‘08In a word—Eureka! I’ve struck gold.Steady girl, you haven’t actually hiked upthere yet to look. But I just know in my bonesthat this is it.We had a typical monsoon rain late yesterdayand just after dawn today I was hiking up anarrow canyon, picking my way around themuddy spots and so going more slowly andcarefully than I liked (but remembering thoseheavy muddy boots). I was admiring the deepreds, yellows, and oranges of the layered canyonwalls, their colors even more intense from thedampness of the rain.I rounded a bend and noticed a gash high upin the cliff face colors—a patch of duller coloramid the rest. At the foot of the cliff was a pileof rubble—part of the cliff face had broken away—98—

shortly after the rain. Most likely, it had erodedgradually over the years until finally thingsgave way. I squinted at the paler patch up on thecliff face—could it really be? It looked like therewas an opening or depression in the wall…I just have to find a way up there now! I’llhave to be cautious. It’s a steep climb andthere’s no telling if there are other areas of thecliff that are ready to come tumbling down.* * * *Success! I’ve scaled the cliff face and findmyself at a narrow opening. It appears that theopening normally was hidden by an outcropping,which had fallen away in the recent rock slide.Before today, if you didn't know this cave washere, you'd never find it. Luckily I've brought aflashlight.* * * *—99—

I shone light into the opening and beganmaking my way in slowly. It was just a shortpassageway, no more than a few feet. At theend is a small carved cave, apparently a homeat one time, with a few implements, a carvedtable of sorts at the far wall... and a set of boneson a straw pallet in the corner, draped in a verybeautiful and extremely old Navajo rug. Theskull is clearly not human.I was right. I have found it.I need to make a quick inventory ofeverything in the small room. Pallet, body,blanket. Two complete simple pots, a broken oneand several shards on the floor. No otheropenings or windows. A niche in one of thebottom corners that has some ash markings.Near the carved table, other niches in the wallthat appear to have small bowls in them. And—100—

on the walls some amazing carved art andsymbols.* * * *I pulled out my camera and photographedeverything I could, hoping that the flash wouldcompensate for the dimness of the cave.What to do next? I realize that I shouldn'tactually touch anything until I can come backbetter prepared. And with my Relto book.Considering that this was a world-makingBahro, that there are sacred relics of his kindsomewhere here, I know it would be the height offoolishness to do anything further without myown linking book.But how to protect the cave and its contentsin the meanwhile? How quickly can I leave andcome back with my book? Even though I’ve hikedin more than a mile from the dirt road where I—101—

parked, this whole area is especially popular withhikers in the summertime.* * * *I just poked my head outside the passagewayand could see that the sun is passing over thefar end of the canyon. Where has the time gone?Has it really been twelve hours since I got here?In just a short while it will be getting dark. So Ineed to start the hike back to my car now if Idon’t want to get caught in the pitch black ofnight in the middle of the wilderness.If I can get an early start tomorrowmorning, get back here with everything I need bysunup, then the cave should be fine. In the dark,it is enormously unlikely that anything biggerthan a lizard or a bird will find its way insidebefore then.—102—

Approaching the Bahro’s stronghold (near thetop of the cliffs ahead).—103—

Looking up toward the steep cliff faces that makeup the Bahro’s cave area.—104—

Climbing up toward the cliffs, approaching theBahro’s cave.—105—

The view from the Bahro’s cave opening—wow!!—106—

Sunday 10 Aug ‘08I’m back at the cave. As expected, thingsremain undisturbed and undiscovered by theother humans of New Mexico. I hope that ManyRivers and Hard Flint Woman are pleased. Ihave found him as they knew I would.I need to figure out what and where thosesacred relics are. The ones Hard Flint Womanmentioned in her story.* * * *Ah, this must be them. Under the Navajoblanket, next to the body. But I have no ideawhat they are. Or if it’s safe to touch them. Ihave my Relto book handy.* * * *—107—

Whew. Nothing happened when I pickedeverything up. I’ll go ahead and keep them on thecarved table until I figure them out.I suppose the smart approach is to bemethodical. If this is Bahro technology, thenperhaps I have to draw a symbol somewhere.—108—

Monday 11 Aug ‘08Well, I’m not sure exactly how I did what Idid, but all I can say is thank goodness I broughtmy Relto book! The hard part was inventing aplausible explanation to tell Kenny while hedrove me all the way back here to retrieve mycar!* * * *Disaster! I just arrived back at the cave andsee that we’ve had not only another monsoonrain, but another rock slide. Now the cavernopening is completely covered in rubble.This has been a short day after all.—109—

Saturday 16 Aug ‘08I’ve been trying not to be depressed all week.I’d thought I’d succeeded but now most likely havefailed. I’m debating what to do next here.On the one hand, I could return and try to digout the cave entrance. But the same problemremains about keeping the Bahro and his relicssafe from unwelcome eyes. So perhaps the rockslide is fortuitous. At least it is keeping himsafe again. I haven’t failed in that respect.Another option is to write a linking book tothe cave. I can't tell if it's even possible(technically) to write a linking book to a locationon my current home world, especially since theTerran descriptive book is unavailable (and Isuppose it's debatable that it even exists). Yet Ican't sit back and just do nothing about—110—

egaining access to the Bahro's cave... so it'sworth a shot.If Yeesha can figure out how to do agewritingand age-linking miracles, I suppose therest of us can figure it out too. Though there'sno telling if I have that kind of talent or if itwill bloom in my lifetime... After all, I’venever fancied myself as a writer of worlds. Otherstudents of D’ni have tried their hands at it butI’ve always assumed it was beyond my owntalents. I guess I’m going to have to try andlearn. I simply can’t stop here.Hard Flint Woman and Many Rivers arecounting on me. But it will take time.—111—

Saturday 25 Oct ‘08I’ve been doing some studying of the Art andseveral practice runs with some plain notebooks.So earlier this month, I finally felt ready tostart writing my first real linking book. Andnow it’s time to see if it works.I’ve got my Relto book, cell phone, camera,journal, food, water, matches, cash and first aidkit. Oh yes, and a flashlight. And just in casesomething goes wrong, I emailed Kenny to watchmy cats for me.* * * *Aargh! Nothing happened. I wonder what Idid wrong… I guess it’s back to the drawing board.Oh well, I guess this keeps me humble. Ifnothing else, the D’ni were practiced with—112—

patience (I think). I suppose it’s easier whenyou have a longer lifespan, though.—113—

Saturday 22 Nov ‘08It’s been several more weeks and I’ve triedand failed miserably five whole times now. Ireally can’t justify continuing to waste ink andpaper on this when things aren’t working even alittle. I think I’m going to have to give up onthis approach and acknowledge that either I’mnot going to master this or it simply isn’tpossible to solve the problem this way.I’ve researched the forums about the latterand know that you can’t use a linking book tolink to another location within the same age.But I figured if I used the linking book from myRelto, that obstacle would be resolved.Maybe it’s because I couldn’t actually writethe linking book from inside the Bahro’s cave? Orbecause I don’t have access to the originaldescriptive book for Terra—after all, one really—114—

must exist in order for our Nexus links into thecavern to work, right? These are the bestexplanations I can come up with just now (asidefrom my lack of talent as a Writer).—115—

Wednesday 26 Nov ‘08Well, this is unexpected! When I got homefrom work today, as usual, the cats did theirwelcome-home happy dance, hoping that I’d feedthem some treats. While I was putting my stuffaway, one of them climbed up on the bookshelfand knocked over Singing Flowers’ journal.The journal made a weird klunky sound whenit hit the floor and lay oddly askew with the backpanel hanging open at a funny angle. I barkedat the cats without thinking, worried that they’dseriously damaged the most precious thing I nowown. I’ll have to look at it more carefully in afew minutes and see if I can repair it.But I wonder if this is another timely signfrom Yeesha (or Hard Flint Woman or ManyRivers). I’m remembering that GOOGGO licenseplate and how in the end, it seemed to be telling—116—

me I was on the right track in finding theBahro…* * * *Well I’ll be #!@*… Excuse me while I gobang my forehead bloody against the nearest brickwall…* * * *Okay, I’ve had a rant and feel a little better.The good news is that the cats didn’t reallydamage the journal. The bad news is that I’vefound a miniature version of one of the relics Ifound in Locust Being’s cave, hidden carefullybehind the paper lining of the journal’s backpanel. When I hold the lining just right in thelight, I can see a faint symbol drawn on thepaper, near one of the corners; the corner thathad come a bit loose when the book hit the floor.—117—

The relic is surprisingly thin yetextraordinarily strong, so it doesn’t seem to havebeen damaged in the least by the tumble thejournal took.But if I’m right about what this means, thenI’ve had the means all along to get to the Bahro’scave (kinda like Dorothy and her ruby slippers).So all that hiking and worry and frustration alllast summer was pointless.Of course, assuming I’d found this relic andhad figured it out, I likely would have linked to arubble-enclosed cave then and still not knownexactly where I was. So perhaps it wasn’t acomplete waste of time; after all, I do knowexactly where in New Mexico the Bahro is buried.Which is more than I can say regarding the cleft,which ironically enough started me on this wholeexpedition.—118—

Okay, I guess I don’t have to be quite so hardon myself for missing the relatively obvious. Soit’s really good news after all.Now for the challenge of figuring out how touse the darned thing. I still don’t really knowwhat exactly I did that day in the Bahro’s cavewhen I activated the relics there. I guess I’ll justhave to assume that I have everything I needright here and be methodical once again.—119—

Saturday 06 Dec ‘08I’ve been studying the symbols on the relic fora couple of weeks now. It’s been somewhatfrustrating but I know I just have to figure thisout. They remind me of the Noloben bahroglyphsand the petroglyph symbols found at some of theancient sites here in New Mexico…—120—

Saturday 13 Dec ‘08Okay, I think I understand the symbols drawnall around the edges of the relic. They seem to benumerical or incremental. But there arecountless possible combinations of them. In theBahro’s cave that day, I remember touchingseveral of them just before I linked out. So let’sreview all the photos I took of the Bahro’s caveand see if there are any clues about this.* * * *Ah, it’s starting to come back now. Why theheck didn’t I think of doing this sooner?? Iremember noticing all the wall symbols andwondering if they had a connection to the relicand its symbols, and so began to experiment withthat in mind.In the photos, I see that there are severalareas on the cave walls with groups of symbols.—121—

So I’ll assume for now that the groups aremeaningful, that the grouped symbols go togetherin some way.—122—

Sunday 28 Dec ‘08I’ve been using the methodical approach againwith all the symbol groups over the past monthand think I finally have narrowed things down.I’m going to try my best guess at the rightcombination in a few moments, hoping thatsomething will actually work.* * * *Thanks be to Yeesha and The Maker! I’m backin the cave! Woo hoo!!!I’ll need to head back home for now, though, soI can return better prepared and with plenty oftime to continue exploring that world I linked tofrom here back in August—nearly five monthsago now.And it also turns out that it wasn’t acomplete waste of time searching for the Bahro—123—

last summer. Without the photos, I would havespent countless years trying randomcombinations of the symbols before findingsomething that actually worked.Altogether, it’s been quite the year! Andquite fitting that I’m about to embark onanother leg of this journey at year’s end…—124—