22 Feature <strong>Raffles</strong> HealthNewsUnderstanding & Copingwith <strong>Cancer</strong>After discovering the harshtruth, coping with cancer canbe physically, emotionally andmentally demanding. Many peopleexperience a great sense of disbelief anddespair when they are told that they havecancer. Therefore, caring for these peopleand helping them to come to terms withthe disease is extremely important.There are no hard and fast rules on howto deal with such situations as it variesfrom patient to patient. As a generalcourse of approach, family members andloved ones should make the patient’simmediate experience as comfortableas possible and probe for emotional andmental stressors. They should also allowthe patient to express their fears andneeds as much as possible.According to Mr Danny Ng, ClinicalPsychologist, <strong>Raffles</strong> Counselling Centre,“It is about connecting with the patientsand drawing them out to talk about theirfears and struggles. Hence, topics of deathmay even be appropriate if they want totalk about it.” <strong>Cancer</strong> is a very real andfrightening experience so be humorousand fun when appropriate and needed.However, allow for sadness and do notignore uncomfortable topics or feelings.“In addition, keeping a realistic yetpositive spirit is another booster to tidethem through this process,” Mr Ng adds.As there are risks involved in cancerstages four and above, it is good to berealistic about the pain and danger.Besides that, family and loved onesshould do their utmost to stay positive.Perhaps all parties involved shouldrecognise that death is an inevitablejourney of life. With this powerfulresolution, it allows family members andpatients to treasure preciousness of lifefor what it offers in its transient time.However, if families and loved ones findit difficult to remain positive, and thereare no strong personalities who are ableto lift the spirits of the group, it is bestthat the persons-in-grief limit their timewith the patient since fear is contagious.Patients undergoing cancer treatmentstend not to ask for help because theyare afraid to. Hence, offer suggestionsfor ways you can help. This allows thepatient to be able to accept and declinethe offers without feeling that he or sheis imposing on you. As much as youwant to be there for him or her, givethe patient some space and offer tovisit whenever he or she prefers. It isunderstandable that the patient’s conditionis likely to affect you as well, so try not tolet it get in the way and treat him or herlike how you normally do. Mr Ng furtheradvises that instead of focusing on thefearsome news of cancer itself, familiesand loved ones should take time to bringup happy and good memories such asa wedding, a newborn in the family, andetc. This will allow everyone to focus onthe positive and raise hopes so that itbecomes easier to get by.Helping patients heal and workingthrough these issues with them are anessential part. When cancer is beyondcure, psychosocial and spiritual issuestake on even greater significance. It isnot unusual that patients have desiresto end their lives due to the pain facedwhile undergoing treatment. Hence,as family members or friends, youare obligated to support them on theirbattlefields by settling their ‘unfinishedbusinesses’. Basically, you will need tospeak with them and ask if there are anyissues or tasks that they feel weighingheavily on their heart, such as goingback to their former school or sorting outfamily financial issues.
<strong>Raffles</strong> HealthNews Feature 23Ways to Help <strong>You</strong>r Loved OnesIn this section, HealthNews offers some practical tips to support your loved ones as they brave throughthis phase. Be sure to keep in mind his/her interests, hobbies and talents along with their time, energy orconcentration levels due to the treatment demands.a) Companion C - Bringing a little comfort through a bag of lovePack practical items for your loved ones as they undergo treatment. Here’s a suggestion onwhat should be in your little bag of love.b) Support <strong>Group</strong> ScheduleDrawing up a schedule to take care of the daily activities that the patient was previously doing can help torelieve him/her from worrying. Support groups bring tremendous joy. Here’s a sample schedule that youfamily can adopt.Activities Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat SunChemo appointmentjohnGroceries / pick up prescriptions Haley LouisHousehold chores Paul KellyWater the plantsTai chi class / go for a walk Lis AmberMovie nightCheck-in callJoeJohn &KaylaBring dinner Kelly PaulBaby-sit children Haley KaylaLouisHaving cancer is something which affects not just the patient but also the entire family. It is important that thepatient is not left to face this problem alone but rather as a unit with his/her family. HN