50S.E.HINTON"I reckon it never occurred to you that your brothmight be wonying their heads off and afraid to callpolice because something like that could get youthrown in a boys' home so quick it'd make your head spAnd you were asleep in the lot? Ponyboy, what on earththe matter with you? Can't you use your head? You have:even got a coat on."I felt hot tears of anger and frustration rising. "I saididn't mean to ... " ."I didn't mean tal" Dany shouted, and I almost shoo,"I didn't thinkl I forgot! That's all I hear out of youl Can:you think of anything?""Dany ... " Sodapop began, but Dany turned on hi"You keep your trap shutl I'm sick and tired of hear in' yostick up for him."He should never yell at Soda. Nobody sho111deVIholler at my brother. I exploded. ''You don't yell at himl"shouted. Darry wheeled around and sla<strong>pp</strong>ed me so hanthat it knocked me against the door.Suddenly it was deathly quiet. We had all frozen.Nobody in my family had ever hit me. Nobody. Soda waswide-eyed. Dany looked at the palm of his hand where ithad turned red and then looked back at me. Hjs eyes werehuge. "Ponyboy ... "I turned and ran out the door and down the street as fastas I could. Dany screamed, "Pony, I didn't mean tal" but Iwas at the lot by then and pretended I couldn't hear. I was.running away. It was plain to me that Dany didn't want mearound. And I wouldn't stay ifhe did. He wasn't ever goingto hit me again."Johnny?" I called, and started when he rolled over andThe <strong>Outsiders</strong> 51'umped up almost under my feet. "Come on, Johnny,) ." .we're runnmg away..Johnny asked no questions. We ran for several blocksuntil we were out of breath. Then we walked. I was cryingby then. 1finally just sat down on the curb and cried, buryingmy face in my arms. Johnny sat down beside me, onehand on my shoulder. "Easy, Ponyboy," he said softly,"we'll be okay."1finally calmed down and wiped my eyes on my barearm. My breath was coming in quivering sobs. "Gattacigarette?"He handed me one and struck a match."Johnny, I'm scared.""Well, don't be. You're scarin' me. What ha<strong>pp</strong>ened? Inever seen you bawl like that.""I don't very often. It was Darry. He hit me. I don'tknow what ha<strong>pp</strong>ened, but 1 couldn't take him holleringat me and hitting me too. 1 don't know ... sometimes weget along okay, then all of a sudden he blows up on me orelse is naggin' at me all the time. He didn't use to be likethat ... we used to get along okay ... before Mom and.Dad died. Now he just can't stand me.""I think 1 like it better when the old man's hittin' me."Johnny sighed. "At least then 1know he knows who I am. Iwalk in that house, and nobody says anything. 1 walk out,and nobody says anything. I stay away all night, andnobody notices. At least you got Soda. 1ain't got nobody.""Shoot," 1 said, startled out of my misery, "you got thewhole gang. Dally didn't slug you tonight 'cause you're thepet. I mean, golly, Johnny, you got the whole gang.""It ain't the same as having your own folks care about
52S.E.HINTONyou," Johnny said simply. "It just ain't the same."I was beginning to relax and wonder if running awas such a great idea. I was sleepy and freezing to dand I wanted to be home in bed, safe and warm undercovers with Soda's arm across me. I decided I wouldhome and just not speak to Dany. It was my housemuch as Darry's, and ifhe wanted to pretend I wasn't alithat was just fine with me. He couldn't stop me from liviin my Ownhouse. ."Let's walk to the park and back. Then maybe I'llcooled off enough to go home.""Okay," Johnny said easily. "Okay."Things gotta get better, I figured. They couldn't glworse. I was wrong.Chapter 4THE PARK WAS ABOUTtwo blocks square, with a fountain in the middle and asmall swimming pool for the little kids. The pool wasempty now in the fall, but the fountain was going merrily.Tall elm trees made the park shadowy and dark, and itwould have been a good hangout, but we preferred ourvacant lot, and the Shepard outfit liked the alleys down bythe tracks, so the park was left to lovers and little kids.Nobody was around at two-thirty in the morning, and itWasa good place to relax and cool off. I couldn't have gottenmuch cooler without turning into a popsicle. Johnnysna<strong>pp</strong>ed up his jeans jacket and fli<strong>pp</strong>ed up the collar."Ain't you about to freeze to death, Pony?""You ain't a'woofln'," I said, rubbing my bare armsbetween drags on my cigarette. I started to say something''''-.-.