An extract from The Missing Innocence - Will Parfitt

IntroductionAs a young boy I would often sit alone in an empty churchand stare intently at the various symbols of Christ whichadorned its stone walls and vaulted ceilings. There wasso much of one man whose deity had impinged upon so manyareas of the ancient and modern world I could not understandwhy it had failed to capture me in a way I had wanted it to. I wascertain there was something there, but try as I did to look beyondany obstacles which prevented me from embracing his image Iwas always left with a sense that there was something missing.I was simply far too young and inexperienced in the ways of theworld and the mass of ritual belief which had surrounded hisstory to actually understand what it was. Soon these silent vigilscame to pass into the forgotten fields of my childhood memory,to be left as one of those many questions I had asked of life butwas simply too impatient to wait for an answer.It was not until many years later when the sudden death ofsomeone close reminded me of how little time we have in lifethat these youthful curiosities once more became the focus of my1

2Scott Humphreysawareness. I began to remember the young boy and his silentconversations with the statue of Christ and the unusual fear hehad of dying which had created his fascination. Although thiswas a fear I had learnt to suppress, it was something I had carriedwith me throughout my life, and so in an attempt to understandmy feelings I finally decided to turn my attention towards lookingfor answers. It was here that my perception of life and the beliefswhich I had created to make sense of my experiences began tochange. It was as if my intention to seek out and understand hadbrought with it an instant response, like it had been with me allmy life received and returned just as I had hoped simply waitingfor me to turn back in its direction. Suddenly I began to receivea flood of answers to all my childhood questions as if they hadonly just been asked.It was difficult to comprehend the rush of information at firstbecause it did not come via any words or dictation but what canonly be described as intensive balls of thought which impartedin me a deep sense of knowingness and understanding. But thecompelling urge to translate them into some form of coherentverse was so overwhelming I would find myself at all hours ofthe day and night attempting to write them down for fear that Ishould forget them. Yet the clarity and depth of information wassometimes so startling that even the mere attempt at translationseemed an almost impossible task. What became even moresurprising was that whoever was sending me this informationalso possessed an ability to manipulate and affect my wakingexperience, for there was not one part of my life it could andwould not impinge in its efforts to help convey what it was tryingto say. It was as though I had asked the questions, and now itwas determined in its efforts to help me understand the answersand in whichever way possible.

The Missing Innocence3The most wonderful thing about the whole experience was thatdespite my inability to make sense of many of its answers therewas a loving sense of patience and understanding which noamount of words can describe. If there was anything I could notcomprehend, it would either lead me in a direction to help mevalidate its reply or simply wait until I was ready to understand.This is the story of The Missing Innocence, and although it is areflection of my own personal journey in search of God, I onlyhope that through the pages which follow you will find wehave much in common. Even if its concept does not appear toalign with your own individual story as to the nature of whoyou are or why you are here, it can at least provide you with anunderstanding of where you are going.

The Picture of PerceptionThe conception of a painting is always designed to expressand reflect the creator’s intent. Although the figure maybe the focal point, it is the colours and tones around himwhich will bring to life the potential of his characteristics. Yetunlike an ordinary picture, this is only the beginning of yourjourney from which you will simply walk off and seek out yourown experience, and no matter what was intended in yourcreation you will make of the world what you will, alive andunrestricted. Even though you have been designed with specificcharacteristics, it is no surprise that when you return your creatordoes not recognise you, nor will he recognise the world he hadoriginally set you on your way. It is certain that through yourdesire to seek out and fulfil your own potential you will take tohim worlds and wonders he could not have imagined, and inyour freedom to express your own intention you will both evolveinto something more. This is the union between the creator andhis creation, only the design is so much greater than any picturewill ever show you, because in whichever way you choose toexpress the joy of existence your maker is forever enthralled.4

The Missing Innocence5The concept of these pages does not intend to alter or affect yourcourse or what you think will become of you when it is time todie, but merely to show you that beyond its expression there isnothing to fear. It is simply designed to offer you an alternativewindow of perception, because there is nothing in its wordsthat can be compared with the picture you have created fromyour journey. Not just a picture of debate or reason, but oneof reality and experience which is uniquely your own, and whocan possibly know more about your experiences than you whohas lived them? It is your framework and one you have createdand coloured from your own participation, but what you fail torealise is there is another picture. Not necessarily in a form youwill fully understand, but one which is as real and as relative asthis picture you have come to trust; except you do not have to letit go to perceive its reality.These words do not aspire to make anything less of your journeybut merely to show you there is another way, because althoughthere is only one river of truth upon which you can agree, thereare many branches along its course that will lead you to itsunderstanding.The colours that have helped shape and frame your experiencesof life are merely the tones that are known, but what you do notperceive are the colours which lie in the realm that is foreverand beyond. Who you are and how you will react when you arereturned to this reality only you will decide, but it is a thresholdyou must one day cross, because this life, this person and thisworld in which you exist are simply the waters of a much greaterocean.This unknown reality which often escapes your awareness is

6Scott Humphreysnot something you need fear, because it is indeed the very placeyou left for the purpose of your adventure. So let us prepareyour way and finally leave you at peace to enjoy this passage ofexpression without fear of how it will end. It is only hoped thatthrough its words it can become a river you will understand, forthere is so much more along its banks of expression than you hadpreviously seen.