0704 Summer 2003.pdf - Friends of Nigeria

Letter From Nigeria“Ime omugwo”- Baby-Care In Distant LandsBy Sam OmenyiIme omugwo is a widely practiced Ibo custom. When a womandoes not have a female child, she sees herself denied this specialprivilege. When a girl gets married, expectation is high for earlypregnancy. Towards the due date, preparation for ime omugwocommences. The woman, whose daughter is pregnant, purchasesa fowl, some yam tubers, palm oil, dried fish and a few other itemsand waits for the news of delivery. She would normally arrive beforethe daughter and new baby returned from the hospital, or soonafter their arrival.Normally, a room is prepared for the mother-in-law and thenew baby. The mother-in-law bathes the baby when due, bottlefeedsit, carries it to its mother for breastfeeding at the appropriatetime, sends it to bed, and tends to it when it cries. She is alsoresponsible for cooking. She prepares the special dishes normallythe perquisite of new mothers. These include spicy yam porridgewithout palm oil but including dry fish. The young mother isexpected to drink its extra sauce while it is hot, which they say isessential for the womb. Another dish is the “ofe nsala”. This is spicysoup or sauce containing no palm oil, for swallowing poundedyam. Some people call it ofe uda because it usually contains a spicylegume seasoning called uda.I normally do not like spicy foods, so my wife capitalized onthis each time she had a new baby, to keep me at bay. The birth ofour last child eight years ago was different. The fat and juicy chickenthighs in the ofe nsala prepared by her mother attracted my attention.I sat at the dinner table, a cup of water on hand, and went aheadto help myself. It was so delicious that I downplayed the tearsrunning down my cheeks and the liquid oozing out of my nostrils.In Canada and USA in the 70s, it was very rare to see a Nigerianfamily with the mother-in-law visiting for the purpose of ime omugwo.The high cost of daycare coupled with the open door policies ofCanadian and Americangovernments led manyfamilies these days tobring in the mothers-inlaw.Today, manyfamilies are living withthe mothers-in-lawwho had come for imeomugwo and stayed on.They still prepare thespecial dishes in thedistant lands.I visited a friendin Enugu, Nigeria,about three months ago. His wife who returned from the US inMay 2002 after their daughter’s first baby, had traveled again astheir daughter was expecting another baby. He lamented, “Whatdo I get? A bottle of wine, notwithstanding that I trained ourdaughter in the university.” He admitted however that ime omugwowas not a man’s job. He confessed that since his wife, though inher late sixties, came back from the US, her social life had changed.Each time they went to bed, she always insisted on some kissesfirst, a thing that never happened before. Her mode of dressinghad changed: she wore trousers regularly, appearing youthful andhighly attractive, thanks to his son-in-law.Many mothers nowadays want their daughters to marry menresident in Canada or USA. A friend of mine in 1998 made amarriage proposal to his girl friend and got a shock. The girl toldhim that the only condition for marriage was that he went to theUS. He was not sure whether this was the girl’s idea or that of hermother, who invariably would like an omugwo in the US.•Hansening In Africa—An ApologyIt was brought to my attention by the author that a seemingly important word was omitted from hisarticle Hansening In Africa in the last issue of the Friends of Nigeria newsletter. Apparently, the word‘job’ was left out of the last sentence in the third paragraph on page one. The expression should haveof course read ‘…, doing a bang up job.’As the author took the trouble to travel all the way to Canada to point out this error in person, theeditor feels that a public written apology is in order and will not use the language barrier, BSE or SARSas an excuse.The editor tends his humble apologies to the author, Mr. Tim Carroll and the subject of the article,his Excellency Donald J. McConnell, the U.S., ambassador to Eritrea and his good lady and hope thatthe omission did not lead to any embarrassment, inconvenience, discomfort, ridicule or misunderstandingfor any of them.Andy Philpot, EditorWINTER 2003 15 13