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processes your MSQL request, and givesyou back a response which can varywidely, such asException 5200.718: Failure to completesocketYou will k<strong>now</strong> when you get th<strong>is</strong> messageby the way you realize you’ve been sittingthere for 10 minutes with your eyesglazed over and there’s nothing on yourpaper. Or:Exception 198201.123: String TruncationErrorWhich means that unbek<strong>now</strong>nst to you(since you’re double-/solo- blind whenviewing), you tried to ask a complexquestion such as “what <strong>is</strong> the psychologicalstate of the target individual on June16, 1982, at 1:00PM?” but the inputwas so over-sized that it cannot be processed,and/or you better hope it can’tbe, because if it <strong>is</strong>, the Matrix will be requiredto give you a highly abbreviated,condensed but of course 100% totallyaccurate answer like:Gouda.And as you well k<strong>now</strong>, without the MondoSuper Psychic Demon DecryptionRing Of Darkness -- which costs morethan money, if you k<strong>now</strong> what I mean-- you will not be able to “unfurl” th<strong>is</strong> decryptedmessage. Alternatively, the Matrixmay return a message such as:Exception 1237.19 Queryparam invalidbindingwhich as everyone k<strong>now</strong>s, means thatyour tasker failed to do the proper leftanklemassage prior to meditating, and/or only meditated for 14.5 minutes insteadof the full 15 when binding yourtask# to the target in the Matrix, settingup a whole slew of cascade failures thatyou cannot possibly be held responsiblefor as a viewer.Should you have any session that failsto reveal sufficient omn<strong>is</strong>cience (whichmethod Q^Z-RV totally ensures -- atleast, as long as you have purchased allrelevant modules from an authorizedprovider -- bittorrent doesn’t count, pirates!),you can be certain that somewherealong the line it <strong>is</strong> all the tasker’sfault. Should you be unable to blamethe tasker because he holds a black belt,simply note that your task ID cons<strong>is</strong>ts ofcharacters which have surely seen eachother before at some point in the h<strong>is</strong>toryof time, and you are surely accurateabout what you perceived, but it makesperfect sense that th<strong>is</strong> was probably ametallic mold from a donut shop in ancientPompeii rather than the f<strong>is</strong>h pondfountain target of today. I mean, timehas no meaning, and someone else obviouslyalready used that number, so whatcan be expected?But of course those are only occasionalglitches, and usually the Matrix <strong>is</strong> muchmore forthcoming! Take heart! At doublethe speed of light, dating back intime to before the tasker was even conceivedof by their ancestors, the answerto your query will be beamed into yourlocal universe in your present focal-pointof time. You will k<strong>now</strong> th<strong>is</strong> has happenedbecause:a - the squirrels in your backyard will immediatelybegin d<strong>is</strong>cussing the profoundimplications of childhood Eriksonian autonomyphase interruption and how th<strong>is</strong>has clearly affected the psychology ofyour target. Your inability to understanda perfectly clear conversation as anythingmore than “squeak squ<strong>is</strong>h chirpclick” <strong>is</strong> of course your responsibility, notthe Matrix’s.b - your hand will make a small, slightlycomplex, irregular, completely indecipherablescribble on your page k<strong>now</strong>nas “scribbliograms”, an advanced technologyused by many but first exploredby Fred “The Toad”, viewer par exqu<strong>is</strong><strong>is</strong>cribblionaire,a French researcher whowrote all about th<strong>is</strong> last millennia, onthe charming but politically cranially-recursiveland of laSheba Oui. Every aspectof the question your task posed, includingsymbolic, allegorical, circumstantial,relational, conceptual, and descriptive,will be encompassed in th<strong>is</strong> scribble, aswell as the individual’s medical profile,FBI file contents and h<strong>is</strong> thoughts aboutlunch that day.If th<strong>is</strong> <strong>is</strong> not perfectly obvious when seeingthe scribble -- right there plain asday in front of you, after all, sheesh -- it<strong>is</strong> simply that you have spent an insufficientamount of time practicing thatscribbliogram in different sized littleboxes, and/or you have clearly not beenworking with the Buchanabilly Ultra AudioMatrixian Scribbliomatic Generator.(Will someone nice please share a moderncopy with me because my versiondates from 1912 and worked well on myabacus but does not work on WindowsV<strong>is</strong>ta.)Should th<strong>is</strong> not resolve your decryptionwoes, I recommend you purchase all 17DVDs for Stage 81.29B which specificallydeal with th<strong>is</strong> <strong>is</strong>sue, as presented byCorporal I.M. Ferengi, who trains billionsof viewers to be better than anythingthe government ever had, all of whichwould be predicting major world eventsmonths in advance within a +/- 10 minuterange after a week of training no less,except that unfortunately they are allbusy laboring on the supersecret CheeseOf Doom project under Mount Baldy sonot even one of them <strong>is</strong> available fordemonstrable public examples. I’m sureanybody reasonable would understand. Imean we’re talking the CHEESE of DOOMhere people. Get your priorities straight.Please bear in mind that the asynapticquantumly connected triple-redundantconsciousness loop between you andthe Matrix <strong>is</strong> subject to the slightest shiftof attention during your process. Youranswer may change literally as you get it,if you lose clarity of focus during the process.If th<strong>is</strong> should occur, I recommendthe cartoon poster of the infamous I.M.F.as well as the full CD-ROM package ofstage 166.5 (version IV of that module)which has inspired several underpaidcustomer service representatives of theCD mfg & sales company to come ontoI.M.F.’s website under 412 names eachand wax poetic about its amazing effectiveness.So it must work.Should you have any further questionsregarding the Matrix, look for my 1,274-page hardbound book “Brief ReadingsRegarding the Scribbliograms of Time,”in which I go into th<strong>is</strong> subject and makeseveral predictions for the future. Includingthe year 2021 alien-cloning of GeorgeIssue:1 eight <strong>martin<strong>is</strong></strong> 23

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