Vol. 6, No. 1 - Psychiatric Survivor Archives of Toronto

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It hurts so bad beingalone in this house.I've always wanted tolet somebody into it,but no one ever seemedto want to come in.When they came a little bitinside the doorthey always vandalizedthe very poor furnishings inside,so that I locked the door tightand I only gave out the thingsI was not afraid of losing.There isn't much in this housebut a lot of hurt and angerand fear,and some very shabby furnishings.I think that there isn't anybody leftthat even feels there is anythingworth stealing,only those who want to exchangetheir hurt for my hurt,because, like me, their pain has becomea constant companion to them.I don't want to add my hurt to theirs.I want to feel someone's presencein my house so complete thatwhen they leave,their strength and spirit stay with me.Or if they want to staythey will put some of theirbeautiful possessionsin my houseand make it a nicer placeto live in.-CaroleStubbs
The acrid, burnt fleshI could smellAs I pursued the roadto Hell;Nor did I hear anangel choirCry - save this soulfrom Satan's fire!There is no God - myGod is dead;I feel the deadnessgrip like lead;The world's a boxwithout a view;Oh! dear sweet Jesus where are You?I feel the fear, ,yet cannot fci~l;Then I'm down flat,my mind areel;A s'ringe is filled,I don't know why;A needle's stabbedinto my thigh!There is no changeuntil I rise;The room starts spinningas I cry;I have to pee butcannot walk;I try to shout, butcannot talk!I can't move backtowards my cot;My nose fills up withtears and snot;There is no help, nosecond chance;Then - I begin to soilmy pants!There is no God - myGod is dead;I feel the deadnessgrip like lead;The world's a boxwithout a view;Oh! dear sweet Jesus where are You?* * * *If I don't pace I'llnever move;My needle seems to'veslipped it's groove;The pacing means afighting heart;And if I stop, I'llnever start!* * * *Poor Edom's stopped,his mind has fled;And now he's strapped downto his bed;His eyes are closed,his fingers clenched;I see the sweat - hisshirt is drenched!Then, Edom's up and holl'ringloud;The rogue guard yanks himfrom that cloud;The floor comes upand Edom's struck;Poor Edom's just runout of luck!That rogue guard cock I'll break his head;Before I'm done, I'llstrike him dead!You cock! you slug! you'llhear from me;And you'll be myactivity!* * * *There is no God - myGod is dead;I feel the deadnessgrip like lead;The world's a boxwithout a view;Oh! dear sweet Jesus where are You?Jerry Fromstein
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Vol. 6, No. 1 - Psychiatric Survivor Archives of Toronto

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