How to Win Friends and Influence People - Mohit K. Arora

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do judge us by our letters and misspellings make us look less professional. "I don't know whether she copied my system or not, but since that conversation, her frequency of spelling errors has been significantly reduced." The polished Prince Bernhard von Bьlow learned the sharp necessity of doing this back in 1909. Von Bьlow was then the Imperial Chancellor of Germany, and on the throne sat Wilhelm II-Wilhelm, the haughty; Wilhelm the arrogant; Wilhelm, the last of the German Kaisers, building an army and navy that he boasted could whip their weight in wildcats Then an astonishing thing happened. The Kaiser said things, incredible things, things that rocked the continent and started a series of explosions heard around the world. To make matters infinitely worse, the Kaiser made silly, egotistical, absurd announcements in public, he made them while he was a guest in England, and he gave his royal permission to have them printed in the Daily Telegraph. For example, he declared that he was the only German who felt friendly toward the English; that he was constructing a navy against the menace of Japan; that he, and he alone, had saved England from being humbled in the dust by Russia and France; that it had been his campaign plan that enabled England's Lord Roberts to defeat the Boers in South Africa; and so on and on. No other such amazing words had ever fallen from the lips of a European king in peacetime within a hundred years. The entire continent buzzed with the fury of a hornet's nest. England was incensed. German statesmen were aghast. And in the midst of all this consternation, the Kaiser became panicky and suggested to Prince von Bьlow, the Imperial Chancellor, that he take the blame. Yes, he wanted von Bьlow to announce that it was all his responsibility, that he had advised his monarch to say these incredible things. "But Your Majesty," von Bьlow protested, "it seems to me utterly impossible that anybody either in Germany or England could suppose me capable of having advised Your Majesty to say any such thing." The moment those words were out of von Bьlow's mouth, he realized he had made a grave mistake. The Kaiser blew up. "You consider me a donkey," he shouted, "capable of blunders you yourself could never have committed!"
Von Bьlow's knew that he ought to have praised before he condemned; but since that was too late, he did the next best thing. He praised after he had criticized. And it worked a miracle. "I'm far from suggesting that," he answered respectfully. "Your Majesty surpasses me in manv respects; not only of course, in naval and military knowledge but above all, in natural science. I have often listened in admiration when Your Majesty explained the barometer, or wireless telegraphy, or the Roentgen rays. I am shamefully ignorant of all branches of natural science, have no notion of chemistry or physics, and am quite incapable of explaining the simplest of natural phenomena. But," von Bьllow continued, "in compensation, I possess some historical knowledge and perhaps certain qualities useful in politics, especially in diplomacy." The Kaiser beamed. Von Bulow had praised him. Von Bьlow had exalted him and humbled himself. The Kaiser could forgive anything after that. "Haven't I always told you," he exclaimed with enthusiasm, "that we complete one another famously? We should stick together, and we will!" He shook hands with von Bьlow, not once, but several times. And later in the day he waxed so enthusiastic that he exclaimed with doubled fists, "If anyone says anything to me against Prince von Bьlow, I shall punch him in the nose." Von Bьlow saved himself in time - but, canny diplomat that he was, he nevertheless had made one error: he should have begun by talking about his own shortcomings and Wilhelm's superiority - not by intimating that the Kaiser was a half-wit in need of a guardian. If a few sentences humbling oneself and praising the other party can turn a haughty, insulted Kaiser into a staunch friend, imagine what humility and praise can do for you and me in our daily contacts. Rightfully used, they will work veritable miracles in human relations. Admitting one's own mistakes - even when one hasn't corrected them - can help convince somebody to change his behavior. This was illustrated more recently by Clarence Zerhusen of Timonium, Maryland, when he discovered his fifteen-year-old son was experimenting with cigarettes. "Naturally, I didn't want David to smoke," Mr. Zerhusen told us, "but his mother and I smoked cigarettes; we were giving him a bad example all the time. I explained to Dave how I started smoking at about his age and how the nicotine had gotten the best of me and now it was nearly impossible for me to stop. I reminded him how irritating my cough was and how he had been after me to give up cigarettes not many years before.
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How To Win Friends And Influence Pe
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• 1. Get out of a mental rut, thi
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I have, since 1912, been conducting
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I personally interviewed scores of
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with whatever adjective you wish. I
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You will probably find it difficult
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This biographical information about
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some of the most important business
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The third speaker, the head of a la
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Realizing that he had no flair for
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he forced each class member to talk
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public benefactor - an unappreciate
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American public life. Here are the
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The Battle of Gettysburg was fought
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large on the literary horizon of Am
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your shoes. I called out angrily wh
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What do you want? Not many things,
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People sometimes became invalids in
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wasting their time memorizing the c
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I once succumbed to the fad of fast
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The next time you enjoy filet migno
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Every act you have ever performed s
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I wrote down under the head "Advant
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[You desire! You desire. You unmiti
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Mr. Edward Vermylen % A. Zerega's S
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news for you fellows.' He hurried o
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precisely what that father had expe
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In a Nutshell Fundamental Technique
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emember, you have to be interested
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The same concern for the seemingly
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Showing a genuine interest in other
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me were: "Please see me again later
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characteristic of babies. What did
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I smile as I listen to them and I f
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takes from the running tide the ele
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hands, inquire after the family, an
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This policy of remembering and hono
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"A few days after returning to New
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developing new forms of plant life
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Robert responded: "No, but I really
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every day and collect stray bits of
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Remember that the people you are ta
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"Then," said Mr. Duvernoy, "after s
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I'll bet that person went out to lu
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early part of this century. Million
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"You're right," the old lady agreed
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To illustrate: When Eastman was bui
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granted and maybe was even more dem
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Nine times out of ten, an argument
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he was telling me about his childre
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When Theodore Roosevelt was in the
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important question of law. During t
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But did all this bitterness make Li
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Crowley was a salesman for a lumber
Page 109 and 110: And 2,200 years before Christ was b
Page 111 and 112: Ferdinand E. Warren, a commercial a
Page 113 and 114: Suddenly the Union infantry rose fr
Page 115 and 116: ~~~~~~~ 4 - A Drop Of Honey If your
Page 117 and 118: Business executives have learned th
Page 119 and 120: decide her investment was unwise. I
Page 121 and 122: make people change their minds more
Page 123 and 124: sake. Before leaving the bank, this
Page 125 and 126: centuries after his death, he is ho
Page 127 and 128: thoughts, feelings, ideas, I interr
Page 129 and 130: 7 - How To Get Cooperation Don't yo
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Page 133 and 134: understand them. Only wise, toleran
Page 135 and 136: "Having a good time, boys? What are
Page 137 and 138: You deserve very little credit for
Page 139 and 140: "When you get a letter like that, t
Page 141 and 142: one of the first lessons he had lea
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Page 145 and 146: 3. I told him I was interested only
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Page 149 and 150: • Principle 11 - Dramatize your i
Page 151 and 152: hundred of thousands of copies. His
Page 153 and 154: Hooker on April 26, 1863, during th
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Page 157 and 158: Simply changing one three-letter wo
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Page 163 and 164: instructor screamed: "Move that car
Page 165 and 166: "I recently decided to let our seas
Page 167 and 168: ---- [*] Jess Lair, I Ain't Much, B
Page 169 and 170: quality. The printer who had done t
Page 171 and 172: In short, if you want to improve a
Page 173 and 174: Mrs. Hopkins decided to face the "T
Page 175 and 176: "In 1970 my son David, who was then
Page 177 and 178: said that he was making up his cabi
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Page 181 and 182: (Let's get the picture clear. Imagi
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Page 185 and 186: NEW YORK CITY Mr John Doe, 617 Doe
Page 187 and 188: That is what nagging accomplished f
Page 189 and 190: with his toes pointed down, as she
Page 191 and 192: She didn't attempt to set up her in
Page 193 and 194: So, if you want to keep your home l
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Page 197 and 198: Why wait until your wife goes to th
Page 199 and 200: Oliver Wendell Holmes, the beloved
Page 201 and 202: Dr G. V. Hamilton's survey verifies
Page 203 and 204: So I sincerely feel that I have no
Page 205: 4. Do you have an intelligent grasp
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How to Win Friends and Influence People - Mohit K. Arora

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