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FEBRUARY 2012 - ISSUE 01 - Massive Magazine

FEBRUARY 2012 - ISSUE 01 - Massive Magazine

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07Matt Shand, editor of MASSIVE, traces the struggle from delinquency to operating table for thestruggling and out-of-date student associations.The Patient was draggedinto the operatingroom by three orderlies,each showingsigns of a fierce battle. Two hadscratches across their face thatwould need stitches, anotherwas missing a chunk of hair.A fourth ran behind carrying ahuge needle loaded with horsetranquiliser to calm the violentlyflailing body of The Patient.Some wondered how it hadcome to this, but in realitysurgery was inevitable. Somegluttons are simply beyondself help, especially in spoiltEXTREME MAKEOVERSTUDENT ASSOCIATION EDITIONchildren like The Patient, andeven more especially in mindswracked by multiple personalitydisorders and identity crises.The Patient was a victim ofindifference – from its parentsand everyone else. Its parentshad realised their neglect toolate to simply nudge The Patientback on to the rails. Theyfollowed the flapping lump offlesh that people had labelled“their child” at a guilty distance.The Patient’s parents werewealthy, but they were misguidedin their love for it. They weretoo busy to offer any love orguidance, and instead showeredit with money, (which it gorgedon), property, and a sense ofentitlement to buff up its selfesteem. Specialists would laterdiscover that The Patientadopted a new persona everyfew years. It would rave nonsensicallyabout a bizarre “internaliseddemocratic process”which selected its new psychebut always resulted in – despiteits biological years long forgottenby even its parents – a mindno more mature then a teenager.Each reincarnation lackedthe foresight of past experiences,always doomed to make thesame mistakes. It was as if eachreincarnation reset the system.“Not this time,” the chiefsurgeon assured the parentsas they entered the operatingroom together. “Radical changeis a simple process. Yeah, nah,we’ll fix it up good, or die trying.Let me clarify that for legal reasons.I mean to say, it will die,as a result of us trying. She’llbe right.” He flashed a winningsmile and cocked an eyebrowbefore clapping his hands.“Shall we proceed?”The struggle on the operat-

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