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ADRA RESPONDS TO FLOOD cRISES page 9 - RECORD.net.au

ADRA RESPONDS TO FLOOD cRISES page 9 - RECORD.net.au

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FEATURECould this beyour church?by Steve CinzioThe family was in chaos and now the twochildren were experiencing another loss. Theirfather, James, had divorced their mother and aftersome time, Janine, his new partner, had moved inwith him and the two children.Several years of this new arrangement had taken its tollon Janine and she had decided to move out.I saw the children for several sessions and worked withthem in an effort to help them through the turmoil andanxiety of these losses. They were open and frank abouttheir feelings and experiences and I sensed an air of reliefat being able to unload their story on someone ready tolisten.They had regrets. If only they had behaved better, theytold me. If only they had done their chores without complainingthen perhaps the two mothers they loved wouldnot have abandoned them.A French proverb accurately describes the experiencesof children c<strong>au</strong>ght up in these painful episodes: “In a brokennest there are no whole eggs.” And, sadly, broken theywere, both of them wondering what the future held.Some years ago while working in government highschools, I constructed an instrument in an effort to drawfrom the student with whom I worked, feelings and impressionsabout the experiences that they were passingthrough, to give them an opportunity of sharing their innerexperiences—something that many children find difficult intheir attempts to navigate the tumults of life.The instrument consisted of sentence stems which Imade up and they were asked to complete. For instance: Iknow that my father loves me bec<strong>au</strong>se . . .The above example provided an opportunity for themto express their feelings about their father. I had severalheadings in the instrument that dealt with relationshipswith parents, siblings and friends.One section dealt with the self: “When I look in themirror I see . . .Another section had to do with their schooling. The lastpart had to do with their feelings about God. It was meantto probe and tease out the relationship they had with Godand was designed to help them examine and express theirspiritual experiences.I remember clearly the afternoon when both children—Comment? Go to record.<strong>net</strong>.<strong>au</strong>/commentone a teenager and the other about 10 years of age—completedthese assignments. After they left, I sat on thecouch at the <strong>ADRA</strong> Counselling Centre and began to readtheir responses. What I found was quite revealing and theresponses allowed me a look inside.My heart ached as I traced the pain through their completedsentences. I wondered whether the children wouldgive me permission to share their inmost thoughts withtheir father.I flicked over the <strong>page</strong>s of the youngest child to readher responses to the section that dwelt with ‘My Religion’.Here is what she wrote.The first part is the sentence stem I provided and thepart in bold lettering were her thoughts.God thinks that I am: quite a nice girl.I think that God is: the best person ever.Going to church is: fun and excellent.If I couldn’t go to church I would feel: sad and upset.God is important to me bec<strong>au</strong>se: He looks after me allthe time.I feel that God is near to me when: I am havingtroubles.I will go to heaven bec<strong>au</strong>se: I talk to God all the time.The best part of going to church is: talking to God andJesus.Sometimes I don’t like going to church bec<strong>au</strong>se: no-oneis happy when we go.There is so much more that I could mention about thisongoing experience with the children but, as I think aboutthe revelations of one child’s spiritual experience, there aresome pertinent questions that I want to ask our Adventistchurch families: did this child formulate her vibrant spiritualexperiences in your church? Are you aware of the impactthat your church is having on the lives of individual childrenattending each Sabbath? What strategies does your churchhave in place to evaluate the effect of the children’s programsyou provide?The church this child attended should be l<strong>au</strong>ded forproviding an environment where this 10-year-old girl founda warm and loving relationship with her personal God whowas supporting her in her troubled journey.Steve Cinzio is a clinical counsellor at the <strong>ADRA</strong> Counselling Centre, Qld.record.<strong>net</strong>.<strong>au</strong> • March 3, 2012 17

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