Edgewood’s Family Program Supervisor Dale MacIntyreand counsellor Patty Robertson.The Family at ChristmasExpectations are high ...Stress levels through the roof ...How do you get through?Ahhh the holiday run up. Stress levels are throughthe roof. Expectations are at an all-time high. Theshort leashes are out. The fear of sabatoge is on theminds of those who have seen it all before. So justhow does a family get through the holidays without nuking itall? Simple. Work your program.Dale MacIntyre heads up Edgewood’s Family Programs:Insite, Family Education, Bounce Back, Aftercare for Insitealumni, Alumni Insite and Refocus for Insite alumni. Mac-Intyre says when it comes to the Christmas season, it is reallyimportant to check expectations regularly, and be sure thelines of communication are wide open.“The truth is Christmas is usually a disaster for families inaddiction,” says MacIntyre. “People have these ridiculousexpectations. There’s a hope that the addict, whose primaryrelationship is with his or her addiction, will set aside thatrelationship for just one day. And it never happens.”That’s when the addict is “out there.” But often when he orshe cleans up and returns from treatment, “there’s this delusionfor a lot of people that as long as the addict gets better,then everything’s going to be great.” (There are those expectationsagain ...)If the recovering addict needs to make a list of things to doto make it safely through the holidays, the family memberalso needs to make his or her own list. And a lot of the itemswould be identical, says Patty Robertson, a counselor in theFamily Programs.“It’s the same. Reaching out, getting to meetings, practicinggratitude — doing our own recovery,” she says.MacIntyre and Robertson explain how families are on redalert during this time of year, waiting for mistakes that theyhave seen happen so many times before.“People are walking on egg shells. But they’re going throughtheir own stuff. Christmases past, grief, shame, resentments,”says Robertson.That’s why it’s vital that expectations and communications areat a reasonable state.“If the family members haven’t done their recovery work,they’re still going to be hyper-vigilant,” says MacIntyre. And ifthat is going on, then the addict will easily pick up on it andbe self-conscious. As for issues such as whether alcohol shouldbe around the house “the answer is always the same: just talkabout it.” Stop protecting the addict, he says.“There’s often a strategy by the family members that if theycan just manage the addict’s behavior, it will be okay,” Mac-Intyre says. “But you know, you can take the alcohol out ofthe house to protect the addict, but now you’re going to haveto burn all the liquor stores down.”So work your own program. Then you can enjoy one another’scompany at Christmas.“Knowing that the day before they’resaying,“this is going to be awful, beinglocked up in Edgewood for Christmas.”Then ... it’s happening ... and they’resaying, “This is the best Christmas ever!”— David Shaver, Aftercare counsellorEdgewood’s Aftercare Department: (l-r) Danika Bazant,David Shaver and Suzanne Moshrefzadeh.
Edgewood Spiritual Team: (l-r) Mark McKerrell andAnthony Cafik, Head Chaplain Dorcas Larson, RuthDantzer, Marion Lord and Joanne Smithwick.“It’s a good day to be working.”Edgewood’s Property Manager Craig Hamilton, with the MaintenanceStaff: (l-r) Cindy Parkin, Jordan Hansen, Rebecca Tang, Mike Whitehead,Matt Hughes and Bruce Kelman.T’is the season to gain a little weight it often seems. Edgewood’sgym staff hear the complaints about expandingwaist lines before, during and after the holidays.“They’re concerned about their pot bellies,” says a smilingAndrea Leclair, a physical fitness instructor at Edgewood since2008. “They say ‘Oh, I’ve gained weight. I’ve been eating too manysweets.’ Sometimes they tell me I’ve been having two deserts.”“I say just go with it. Do your work in the other part of the building—it will all take care of itself.”“It’s a good day to be working.Seeing the patients sitting ina circle and saying it’s the bestChristmas they’ve ever had.That means we’re doing somethingright.”— Cindy Parkin,MaintenanceGym Recreation Staff: (l-r) Valerie Jenkins, Faress Barraquis,Andrea Leclair and Supervisor Cheryl Wilson.
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