Information & Support pack ACT - Living is for Everyone

3 Telling people3Should I tell people it was suicide?Some people find it difficult to tell others about the cause of death and choose not to do so. Initially this maybe easier. However, it may result in experiencing a sense of unease in your relationships with others andmay lead to a lack of support.It is helpful to be honest. Telling the story over and over again can be healing. If you avoid the truth it will takeextra energy and worry to maintain the lie and this will complicate the grief process.It is also important to be honest when telling children about the death. For a detailed discussion of talkingwith children about a suicide death see the section in this pack on Helping children with grief.What do I say when people ask me about the suicide?It can be helpful to work out ahead of time what to say to people. You may want to share more with somepeople than others. If you don’t want to discuss it at that time, let them know. You can say something like“I don’t want to go into that at the moment.” It may be better not to discuss the method in too much detail.Some people are more vulnerable and may be influenced by this.What do I say when people ask me how many people are in thefamily?This may be an awkward question for you. Your loved one will always be part of your life but it may bethat you don’t want to invite further questions. ‘Do I include the person who has died or am I denying theirexistence if I don’t include them?’ Say whatever you are comfortable with. This may depend on who isasking the question and their reasons for it. It may also depend on how you are feeling that day.Who should I notify?There are a number of people and organisations you may need to notify about the death. These includeschools, banks and clubs. Over the page is a list of some common organisations to which people regularlybelong. Some of these will be relevant, some won’t. Use this list as a starting point but you may need tohave a look through the paperwork of your family member for more specific organisations.It may be easiest to notify some of these organisations in writing. Over the page is an example of a letter youcan photocopy and use to do this.6