Sexual addiction among church leaderS - Grace Community Church

EFCAT DAYCONTENTSSuMMER 2009/Volume 83 Issue 2P u b l i s h i n g S t a f fExecutive EditorT.J. AddingtonProduction Coordinator Rae PhillipsEditorDiane J. McDougall30Creative DirectorGreg BreedingArt Director/DesignerMarketingand ProductionCover IllustrationMatt PamerJourney Group, Inc.Emmanuel Polanco2225EFCA Today (USPS 180-220) is publishedquarterly as the official leadership publicationof the Evangelical Free Church of America.Inclusion of an article or advertisement doesnot necessarily indicate endorsement by theEvangelical Free Church of America.9EFCA Today Purpose Statement: Tounify church leaders around the overall missionof the EFCA by bringing its stories and vision tolife, and to sharpen those leaders by generatingconversations over topics pertinent to faith andlife in this 21st century.Subscription price: $10 per year (U.S.);for single-copy prices, call (877) 293-5653,e-mail (today@efca.org) or write to EFCAToday, Circulation Office, 901 East 78th Street,Minneapolis, MN 55420-1360.2815526Editorial and advertising offices:418 Fourth Street NE, Charlottesville, VA 22902.Telephone: (434) 961-2500.POSTMASTER: Send address changes toEFCA Today, Circulation Office, 901 East 78thStreet, Minneapolis, MN 55420-1360.Periodicals postage paid at Minneapolis,and additional offices.Copyright EFCA Today 2009To legally use EFCA Today content in churchbulletins or on the Internet, please contact oureditorial offices: (434) 961-2500.Letters Please send comments to:EFCA Today Letters, 901 E. 78thStreet, Minneapolis, MN 55420;fax (952-853-8488) or e-mail(DianeMc@JourneyGroup.com).Letters may be edited for clarityand space.To order back issues of EFCAToday or to subscribe, please calltoll-free (877) 293-5653 or e-mail us(today@efca.org).Cover Features10 Hidden Danger Sexual addiction among church leaders12 Sexual Sin Among Us: Asking the right questions14 Startling Realities: Stats and facts on the pornography industry16 Underestimated Danger: How EFCA districts are helping pastors19 A Deeper Deceit: Pornography masks a deeper sin20 It’s Not Just About Men: Hear from a female lay leaderDEPARTMENTS4 On the Radar Significant news and trendsHelp for men’s ministry ... new books by EFCA authors ... and more6 Engage Out of the church and into the worldUrban church planting ... mixing religion and government ... and more22 Leader to Leader What leaders are saying, doing, learningChurch with a Russian accent ... book reviews: Jesus, Made in America ...supressing your anger? ... and more28 Catalyst The passion of EFCA’s young leadersRedefining Christianity for the world30 Face to Face Glimpses of our global family31 Double Take Call to action from President Bill Hamelsummer 09 | EFCA today 3

above, K at hr yn Lansing Vaughnsay s t hat her ar t ”is bor n of t hedeepes t upwellings of my soul—t he spir itual but incoherent givene xpression in a phy sical w ay.”K at hr yn attends Hope Church(EFC A) in Madison, Ala., where sheis gr ateful to P as tor Andywulf f forreaching out to t he creatives in t hecongregation.“then t he call came to col -labor ate wit h our yout h pas tor fora cr ucif ixion w all piece. As t he imageswere mounted week by week,I broke down into tear s repeatedly.It was humbling and liberating tocreate ar t solely togod’s glor y.”the passion of EFCA’s young leadersby Pastor Brian S. ChanN owa day s , m o r e c h u rc h e swant to incorporate art into their worship spaces, coveringt h e i r w h i t e w a l l s w i t h u p l i f t i n g i m a g e s . B u t m a n y f e e l t h e t e n s i o n o f b e a u t i f y i n g t h e i r c h u r c h e sw h i l e n o t d i s p l a y i n g c o r n y a r t .So, what kind of ar t should go in churches—t he kind t hat makes us feel good? this questionaf fects our church w alls but also our viewer s and ar tis ts. I believe t he Bible helps usaddress t his ques tion.Ar t in t he Bible w as not alw ay s about w ar m cott ages. god used images as visual revelationsto convict His viewer s. V isions ofgod wit h t hematic elements, like light and preciouss tones, were pregnant wit h t heological subs t ance (Psalm 10 4:1-4, Habakkuk 3:3,4).when god visually manifested Himself (Exodus 24:9-11, Isaiah 6:1-8, daniel 10:5-9,Ezekiel 1:25-28), He exhibited goodness, majesty, glor y and justice. the images renderedHis viewers prostrate and speechless, because they truthfully por trayed His word andcharacter (Exodus 33:18, 34:5,6, revelation 1:12-18). there was harmony between thevisual and the theological.god’s por tr aits teach a pr inciple for Chr is tians and t he ar ts: Seek ar t t hat aut henticallyreveals truth, not simply our preferences. Art can be a lens for a Christian worldview, revealingtr ut h about man, t he wor ld orgod. tr ut hfully incar nated ar t e xhibits integr ity, where t here ’sa har mony be tween t he ar tis t ’s int angible belief s and aes t he tic e xpressions.of cour se, making tr ut hful ar t is not only possible for Chr is tians. People ’s creative poten -tial tes tif ies to t heimago Dei wit hin t hem; and t heir ability to por tr ay a level of tr ut h tes tif iesto t he ef fect ofgod’s common gr ace on t hem. Even t hose who don’ t know god can display afingerprint of His grace. But Christian artists are powerful witnesses to a worldview redeemedt hrough Chr is t. therefore, our churches have a holy responsibility to nur ture t he creativeminds among us.So, back to my initial ques tion: Should we display ar t in our churches t hat makes us feelgood? Not alw ay s. tr ut h doesn’ t alw ay s feel good, especially for broken people s tr iving forChr is t-likeness. we need to encounter tr ut h in viscer al w ay s t hat satiate our senses in orderto s tir our t houghts and s ting our souls.Ar tis ts are visionar ies who see in w ay s t hat ot her s will not and some times do not w antto see. Because of t his, ar tis ts who are freely tr ut hful in t heir work can be annoying -ir r it ants. But t hat ’s what we need—to be ir r it ated once in awhile. If we embr ace our ar tis ts bydiscipling and nur tur ing t hem in t he gospel, t he y can por tr ay tr ut h back to us in viscer allyannoying w ay s t hat challenge our f ait h.Consider a career of livingyour faith by caring forchildren of need.Consider houseparenting!the “Catalyst” department of EFCA Today is all about engaging in conversation with the movement’syounger leaders. In this issue, we feature thoughts on art and faith. In upcoming issues we plan tofeature thoughts, resources and stories on other significant topics, including “creation-care”—whatenvironmental issues mean to believers. Submit additional ideas and join our conversation!We value diversity. Equal Opportunity EmployerLearn more atwww.mhs-pa.orgOn the RadaRsignificant news and trendsHands-On Men’s Ministryby Rev. Steve HopperLetters to the EditorIn your fall issue, you had an article on"The Disturbing Beauty of Art" [by PastorBrian S. Chan]. At the end, comments wereinvited regarding how I and my churchare nurturing artists and encouraging art.What an encouragement to me personally,and to fellow artists in the church,when our former minister of music set upa functioning art gallery in the church.After he moved on to another ministry, weartists have continued and refined howwe display art, which includes fine art,photography, pencil sketches, needlework,woodcarving, sculptures and other creativework. Any artist in the local church bodycan submit a work, which is then titled,has a Scripture reference and is approvedby the art committee. The entire displayis rotated at least four times a year. Itencourages artists to perfect their workand to create with purpose. The displayshave become a focal point after servicesfor discussion and fellowship.— Marty Penner,member of Committee for the Art Gallery,First EFC, Wichita, Kan.ARTIST PROFILEAs wit h her s tone lit hogr aphCATALYSTThe Disturbing Beauty of ArtArT SInformedby aChrIstIanWorldvIeWFulfilling Careers!»1 “Nine reasons I’m a Photographer”(essay found at www.desiringgod.org)»2 “Evangelicalism and Art”(May 2008 essay at jamescar y.blogspot.com)»3 “Important Values for Christian Artists”(essay at theologica.blogspot.com)»4 Art and the Bible,by Francis Schaeffer»5 Thriving as an Artist in the Church,by rory Noland»6 Imagine: A vision for Christians in the arts,by Steve turner“Men’s ministry may be the most difficultministry in the church,” says BrianDoyle, men’s ministry leader with IronSharpens Iron conferences.Women often fill up their events. Youthpack the bus. But trying to get men outfor an event is like pulling teeth. How canchurches build into the lives of men andequip them for meaningful service?A growing number of churches arediscovering that they don’t have to figurethis out on their own. New CommandmentMen’s Ministries (based on John 13:34,35)helps churches recruit, train and deployteams that adopt people with long-term needs in their church and community: widows,single mothers and the disabled.Teams of four to six men commit to three hours of time, usually one Saturdaymorning a month. These teams meet first for prayer and Bible study, then work onbasic fix-it chores for their pre-assigned care receiver for two hours. Afterward, theygather around and pray with him or her. Each month the team returns to the samehome, so their ministry can continue as long as needed.It is truly a “win, win” for everyone:» Recipients are blessed by practical help and the security of knowing that help iscoming back each month.» Men are blessed by serving. One man in our church stated, “This is one of themost meaningful things I have ever done in my Christian life.”» As a pastor, I am blessed as I see men using their gifts to serve those in need(Ephesians 4:11,12). I see the “new commandment” being lived out for believersand unbelievers to see.New Commandment Men’s Ministries teams have become a vital part of our church,and a growing number of other EFCA churches are also discovering the benefits. ■Steve Hopper is associate pastor of Porterville (Calif.) EFC and men’s ministry leader at EFCA West.For more resources to help you minister to your men, visit www.efcawest.org/more-mens-ministryresources.go to the web ///// Visit New Commandment Ministries (www.newcommandment.org)and watch the short video under “How you can connect.” Then, request a Sample Pakoverview plus training DVD/workbook (30-day preview, no obligation): herbreese@yahoo.comor (303) 880-8839.4 www.EFCAtoday.org

Stories, Vision, Movement» Looking for a way to highlight the breadth, depth and vision of theentire EFCA movement? Find it all—plus powerful personal stories—in the 2009 special issue of EFCA Today. Orderextra copies to share with your entire church: fellow leaders, new members, visitors. Available in English and Spanish!go to the web ///// To order copies in English, contact NextStep Resources (www.nsresources.com or 800-444-BOOK).Also, download the cool video from www.efcatoday.org. To order copies in Spanish, contact EFCA Hispanic Ministries (hispanicministries@efca.org).Recent EFCA AuthorsOrder these books fromNextStep Resources at(800) 444-BOOKor www.nsresources.com1 T.J. AddingtonEFCA senior vice president, Minneapolis, Minn.Leading From the Sandbox: Develop, empowerand release high impact ministry teams2 Alan KraftSenior pastor, Christ Community Church,Greeley, Colo.Good News for Those Trying Harder3 Larry OsborneSenior pastor, North Coast Church, Vista, Calif.10 Dumb Things Smart Christians Believe, Spiritualityfor the Rest of Us (rerelease of A Contrarian’sGuide to Knowing God) and Sticky Church(Leadership Network Innovation Series)4 Tom GarashaDirector of Pastoral Care & Coaching,EFCA WestEKG: Probing the heart of a pastor5 Donald T. WilliamsEnglish professor, Toccoa Falls College, andmember of the EFCA MinisterialThe Devil’s Dictionary of the Christian Faith12543summer 09 | EFCA today 5

CrossCultural EFC’s leadership team: (back row) Noucheng Xiong, author Matt Bostrom,Rev. T. Cher Moua; (front) Rev. Michael Rice, Larry JaehnertReflecting Our NeighborhoodPlanting churches in St. Paulby Matt BostromBAck in the mid-1980s, when I was working patrol for the St. Paul, Minn., policedepartment, there was a series of break-ins to former church buildings. As I wouldshine my light on the buildings and look in, I remember thinking: Here we are,constantly in a reactive position.The community was suffering from the effects of these crimes and others. Butthe real solution wasn’t more cops as much as more churches, because a vibrantcommunity is anchored by strong neighborhood churches—sanctuaries withinwalking distance.These thoughts about the lack of healthy neighborhood churches troubled mefor a long time.In early 2001, a small group of us were living in St. Paul but attending churchin the suburbs, and we asked ourselves, “Wouldn’t we like to have that walk-toneighborhood church again?”We were interested in starting such a church, so we connected with ethnicministry leaders in St. Paul to talk more about it. They advised us that if we wantedpeople in the neighborhood to attend, then our church needed to reflect the neighborhood—inattendance and in leadership. So it couldn’t be all-Caucasian. “Weneed to see people in leadership positions who look like us,” they said.We were all Caucasian, so we prayed and waited on the Lord for whom Hemight bring. He answered our prayers in His perfect timing. CrossCulturalEvangelical Free Church now has an African-American senior pastor, Mike Rice,and a Hmong associate pastor, Cher Moua. Our congregation is a mix of AfricanAmerican, Caucasian and Asian (primarily Hmong).We also sing and read Scripture in Spanish or Swahili, in case neighbors fromthose cultural backgrounds come in; they’ll sense our respect for their culture.For nearly 20 years the Lord was preparing me to contribute to His kingdomby participating in an urban neighborhood church. Now we’re trusting thatCrossCultural EFC is a sanctuary for our community and that He is preparing us toplant similar churches in each of the eight legislative districts of St. Paul. ■VANESSA RICEHelp feed them, clothethem and send them toschool. Give them hope,give them a future.HOPE forC NGOEQUIPlearn...better...nowMatt Bostrom is assistant chief of the St. Paul Police Department and serves as anelder at CrossCultural EFC. He also directed security for the 2008 Republican NationalConvention, in St. Paul.summer 09 | EFCA today 7

ENGAGEcourtesy Ken Bottonof choice is the chaplaincy.The chaplaincy ensures that soldiers, sailors,airmen, Marines and Coast Guardsmen all have reasonableaccess to religious support anywhere in theworld. And for the first time in recent memory, eachof the Chiefs of Chaplains represents an evangelicalChristian denomination. Additionally, the seniorchaplain of the Army National Guard, BrigadierGeneral Bryan Hult, also pastors Grace EvangelicalFree Church in Indianapolis.We need more chaplains! The Army alone islooking for 400 new chaplains for active duty, Guardand reserve. The challenge is great, but the opportunityto fill many of these billets with EFCA-endorsedchaplains is unprecedented.I praise God that despite the continuing attackson religious freedoms, our country still funds themilitary chaplaincy. If the chaplaincy is an exampleof mixing religion and government, terrific. It hasmy vote. ■1 Ira C. Lupu and Robert W. Tuttle “Instruments of Accommodation:Author Ken Botton, left, celebrates with Chaplain 1st Lieutenant Lucas Dagleish (TEDS M.Div.2006) after speaking at the graduation for the U.S. Air Force Chaplain School Basic Course.The Military Chaplaincy and the Constitution,” 110 West VirginiaLaw Review (2007), 8.Military ChaplaincyConstitutional Provision by Dr. Ken BottonDr. Ken Botton served as a Navy line officer and chaplainfor almost 23 years and subsequently worked at TrinityEvangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, Ill. He is currentlya military chaplain endorser for the Plymouth Brethren.Religion and government. Do these two subjects really mix? If you answered“no,” you would be correct—in most cases. The military chaplaincy, however, is onenotable exception.Consider that the U.S. government builds military houses of worship all over the world.Your tax dollars and mine furnish these chapels with Trinity Distance Education Coursesand books by Moody Press, as well as Muslim prayer rugs, Jewish prayer books andSt. Christopher Medals. Yes, Congress has authorized a breathtaking array of religiousgoods. But wait, there’s more.This same Congress pays for individuals who energetically preach the gospel of our LordJesus Christ and those who extol the virtues of Islam and those wearing the rich vestmentsof Eastern Orthodoxy. We call them chaplains, and they receive the same pay and allowancesas other officers of similar rank and time in grade.A basic explanation for the enduring and unique nature of military chaplaincy emergesfrom a landmark court challenge. Katcoff v. Marsh (1985) alleged that the Army ChaplainCorps violated the Establishment clause (see sidebar) and posited, instead, that a privatelyfunded civilian chaplaincy would better provide for soldiers’ free exercise of religion.The court dismissed the challenge and held that the Free Exercise clause (see sidebar)and the War Power clause—granting “significant deference to Congress in militaryaffairs” 1 —trumped establishment concerns.In essence, because the government had removed soldiers from their normal religiouscommunities for the purpose of military service, this created a government-imposedburden that necessitated a government-provided remedy. And the government’s remedyEstablishment & Free ExerciseOur country’s founders—wanting to preservereligious liberties yet avoid the sectarian violencethat had bloodied Europe—created a radical newdocument that would embrace these polarities andprotect the religious inclinations of all its citizens:the Bill of Rights.One pillar of the First Amendment becameknown as the Establishment clause. In it, citizensare protected from congressionally mandatedincursions into our private religious affairs. Asecond pillar, the Free Exercise clause, providesnecessary balance: Congress is prohibited fromplacing any restrictions on citizens expressingtheir religious convictions.No congressional favors, no congressionallimitations.8 www.EFCAtoday.org

For many elders, the effectsof growing older canGod Makes It GrowHow God can plant more than onekind of seed in your garden by Matthew ErnstI haven’t noticed vegetable gardeningheadlined in recent outreach seminars. Butsome EFCA churches and leaders are findingthat humanity’s oldest avocation is also missionallyeffective.Take Faith EFC, in Manitowoc, Wis. (population34,000). Three years ago, the churchprovided several acres of land for communitygardens. “It just seemed like a no-brainer,”says Terry Bosch, an elder at Faith. “The communitywas looking for a new garden site,and we had extra land very near a bus stop.”The gardens are heavily utilized byManitowoc’s Hmong population, because farming and the growing of crops are sointegral to Hmong culture.Faith EFC members began getting involved, taking bottled water to the gardenersworking in the fields and inviting their new friends to attend various church activities,including an outreach that included free medical clinics, clothing and haircuts.Still, Faith EFC wanted to be more strategic. In 2008, the men’s ministry beganleasing its own garden plots, to work alongside the other gardeners and continueasking God for more opportunities to build relationships.St. Paul’s Evangelical Church (EFCA) of Creve Coeur, Mo., has also discoveredgardening as a natural way to build relationships.Pastor Mark Friz and his wife, Gayle, raise organic tomato plants and sell thetomatoes to neighbors. “People would stop to buy tomatoes and just end up talking,”Mark says.When one of their unchurched tomato customers had a death in the family,Mark was the only pastor the family knew, to ask about officiating at the funeral.Mark and Gayle have also built friendships with Jewish and ethnic Russian neighborswho are regular customers.“I love our garden,” Mark says, “and it’s a good example of how any hobby canbecome an outreach tool.”Gardening can also help the church build community within. Knowing my lovefor gardening, one farm couple—who often attended a church that I pastored—tilledup a vegetable garden for my family at their farm. As we tended the garden, we got tobetter know the wife, who was experiencing a serious disease. Conversations at thegarden were natural ways to “check in,” and the couple’s participation in the churchcommunity increased—reminding me that, in another field at another time, “Paulplanted, Apollos watered, but God made it grow.” ■Matthew Ernst gardens with his wife, Kathy, and 3-year-old son, Silas, in rural Missouri,where they attend First EFC of Franklin County.sometimes be frighteningand confusing.At Elim Care,residents are offereda sanctuary,a restful oasis ofhealing andAs a faith-based ministry,we believe faith not onlyrestores hope but alsohelps in recovery:• Offering rehabilitationtherapies, skilled nursing,memory care• Fun and secure independentor assisted living• Providing care in Minnesota,Iowa and North Dakota• Your inquiries about ourministry of compassionare always welcomehelp.HELPin recoveryelim care7485 Office Ridge CircleEden Prairie, MN 55344(952) 259-4500 • www.elimcare.orgsummer 09 | EFCA today 9an affiliate of the EFCAsummer 09 | EFCA today 9

Sexual addiction among church leaders

Shame. Anger. Despair.Desperate hope that this time, please, it’ll goaway. All are real, overpowering emotions for peoplecaught in the grips of sexual addiction . . . and for those who lovethem. We can toss out facts all day about whether the crisis is worseinside or outside the church. But just ask any pastor who recently resigned overhis “problem with pornography.” Or ask his wife. Or ask the woman who knowsshe’s a sexual addict too. Ask any of them: Is it real? Does it devastate thosewho call Jesus their Savior? Sexual addiction is destroying the Americanchurch—and its leaders are not immune. How can we work to cultivate aculture of honesty and brokenness that will bring transformation?Otherwise, we’re merely enforcing a culture of peopletrying hard to get better—where you have tohide your brokenness. How canwe welcome Jesus into this very realarea of our lives—into every area of sinin our lives—so that we might experienceHis freedom? Let this issue’s stories shockyou with their honesty, drive you to prayer foryourself and every leader in your church, andopen up honest conversations about where we areand how the gospel is still a power at work in our lives.ILLUSTRATIONS BY EMMANUEL POLANCOs u m m e r 0 9 | E F C A t o d a y 1 1

SEXUAL SINAMONG USAsking the right questionsby Alan KraftLet’s face it: When it comes to the issue of sin, sexual sin is in acategory all by itself. In the Bible, we see it overpowering the incrediblestrength of Samson, the unsurpassed wisdom of Solomon and eventhe godly passion of David. In our society, we see the emotional, physical and spiritualdevastation resulting from pornography, adultery and sexual experimentation outsideof marriage.But honestly, most of us don’t need these evidences from Scripture and society toknow the unique power of sexual sin. We see it in the lives of the people we lead. Andmany of us as leaders struggle to resist its pull. Even though we know it’s harmfuland actively preach against it, our own failures haunt us. So, how can we defeat thissin in our lives and help our people experience freedom as well?I wonder if the real problem is that we are focusing on the wrong question. When theprimary question we are asking is, “How can I defeat this sin?” we end up unknowinglyfostering a spiritual growth path that breeds self-effort, secrecy and shame. People maybe trying hard to defeat this sin, but “trying hard” doesn’t seem to be working. They feellike failures yet are too afraid to admit that to anyone else.Let me suggest three alternative questions I believe are far more helpful in our desirefor genuine transformation in our own lives and the lives of those we lead. >>>1 2 w w w . E F C A t o d a y . o r g

UnderestimatedDangerHow EFCA districts are helping pastorsby Rev. Matt MitchellThe blue glow of the screen illuminated the hunched-over figure.A swift stream of images downloaded into his soul. For six to eight hours a day, this manaccessed pornographic material in his office. He was an EFCA pastor.The problem of sexual impurity is as old as the problem oflust. But with today’s explosion of technology, unfetteredaccess to pornography has greatly exacerbated the problem.Those at-risk include both men and women—includingchurch leaders—who are often unaware of the full extent ofthe danger.EFCA Today interviewed two EFCA district superintendentsto find out how grave the dangers are and to learnwhat our districts and national ministries are doing to helppastors—and, through them, other church leaders—escapethe traps of sexual impurity.According to Gil Stieglitz (Western District), part of theproblem is that godly pastors have their heads in the sand.“Many of our pastors are men of such high integrity,”he explains, “that when I talk about needed safeguards fortheir church, they are almost dumbfounded: ‘Well, if youneed that to keep yourself from pornography, you have a bigproblem.’“Therefore, they have a hard time implementing necessarysteps downstream.”Gil recommends that, as a starting place, churches installfilters and accountability software on their computers (see“Accountability Web Sites” on page 17).An even greater underestimating of the danger, bothmen agree, is occurring among younger church leaders.Because the American culture is so steeped in sensuality,many are dangerously desensitized and don’t set appropriateboundaries.Cal Swan (Central District) says, “What I define as pornography,they would say, ‘This is just a part of life.’”Gil agrees: “They are looking at Web sites that we wouldconsider a problem, and before you know it, they click onsome link, and they’re swimming in a much deeper pool.”Gil advises leading young church leaders in a discussionof what is and what isn’t sin. He often asks youth pastors,when they explain their definition of pornography: “Wouldyou like your pastor or your wife to be looking at this?”“That changes the definition.”Cal and Gil identify four major warning signs:1. Pressure Many of the fallen pastors they have workedwith had dynamic and growing ministries—growing beyondtheir abilities to keep up. With the pressure comes temptationto escape.2. Power Illicit sex is sometimes a misuse of power but alsosometimes a searching for power—even power to do ministry.Gil recalls one pastor who said, “I was so ‘out of gas,’ I waslooking for anything that would give me energy. And this gaveme a little energy.”3. PAST In cases where use of pornography reaches addictivelevels, Gil notes that there is often an unresolved issue ofmolestation or abuse.4. PASSIVITY “Many of these men don’t have a great relationshipwith their wife,” Gil explains. “Their relationshipsare plastic. If you are in a well-rounded, healthy relationshipwith your spouse, that kind of blows up the pornographicimages so they aren’t so real.”16 www.EFCAtoday.org1 6 w w w . E F C A t o d a y . o r g

“At my moment of emptinessI was given new strength and newempowerment by God relationally,spiritually and emotionally.“

A DEEPERDeceitPornography masks a greater sin. by Tim IsaacsonPornography is complex.In itself, it’s a heinous sin. At the same time, itinvolves a whole host of other deceptions, causesand sins that go much deeper than the behaviorof watching explicit material.Wayne (not his real name) has learned this in his 22-yearjourney as a husband, father and EFCA pastor who wrestledwith pornography.Wayne was a Midwest farm boy who lost his father at ayoung age. A loving and committed church filled much of thevoid. The church encouraged its young people in service, andWayne was one who heard the call. After Bible College, heheld a pastorate for a few years before getting his M.Div. andreturning to the pastorate.Wayne’s love for pastoral ministry has been consistentin his life, and he enjoyed a good reputation and a goodministry. Yet in all of this, his struggles with temptation andsin continued.Looking back, Wayne sees two important patterns. Firstwas early exposure: He was introduced to pornography by anuncle while in middle school and spent time with other boyslooking at their fathers’ magazines and movies.Second was something that fed his ongoing cycle of sinand shame: His loving, well-meaning church passed on themessage, Don’t let anyone see you do bad things.This, then, was the deeper deception: He learned behaviormanagementtechniques for sin instead of how to find, andaddress, the root issues.So even though Wayne read the right books and washonest with accountability partners about his temptationsand failures—“I didn’t announce everything in the bulletin,”he says, “but I certainly never tried to hide my struggle”—hewas never encouraged to get down to the root of what led him,again and again, into the same behavior.Wayne hadn’t yet realized that he used pornography tomedicate his insecurity. He had no confidence as a husband,a father or a man, and so he lived with a constant undercurrentof dissatisfaction with himself. Deep-down he felt likea fraud, but he felt compelled to keep up outwardappearances. And then the affirmation he received from hisperformance became a substitute for applying God’s graceto where he failed.Eventually, everything came to a crisis point. Caughtin an inappropriate, emotional relationship, Wayne finallyconfessed to his family and his church and began doingsomething much harder than managing behavior: He beganaddressing the heart issues that had led to his behavior.One day, in a quiet wood off a lonely path, he prayed indesperation, Lord, I think I know now what it means to say that Ihave nothing else but You. I might lose my family, my friends, myministry, my reputation. All I have left is You.And in one of those rare times in his life, he clearly heardthe Lord responding, Now I think you get it.“Brokenness is a severe gift from God,” Wayne says now.“We think of emptiness as weakness, but at that moment ofemptiness I was given new strength and new empowermentby God relationally, spiritually and emotionally.”Four years after that time of breaking, Wayne is no longerunder church discipline. He has returned to pastoral ministryand often helps other men struggling with sexual temptation.Those four years represent a long, hard battle. But sin’smultiple levels of deceit had already cost him many more.Wayne is now living out the reality of who Christ says he is, ina more biblical and honest relationship with his Lord and withthe people in his life. ■Tim Isaacson is pastor of Open Table Community EFC in Chamblee,Ga. He blogs at opentablecommunity.wordpress.comWe’reStillNot Freeby the wife of aformer EFCA pastorWhen my husband’s struggle with pornography came to a head, he was pastor of agrowing church. For more than a decade we followed the same pattern: me forgiving, and hetrying yet another approach to address the issue but always ending in failure. At first I talked tono one—I was both too ashamed and wanted to protect his reputation. Eventually, I talked with acounselor. And eventually, he left the ministry, becoming increasingly depressed and isolated.I hope that someday I will be able to see God’s perfect wisdom in all of this. Honestly, I’mjust worn out. ■s u m m e r 0 9 | E F C A t o d a y 1 9

It’s Not Just About Menby an anonymous female EFCA lay leaderWhenever sex addiction is mentioned in the church, it’salways addressed to “you men.” Women are “the ladies”; they’re not expected to be lookingat pornography. So if you do, you feel like a freak, which increases shame and guilt.The stereotype excuse has been that men are very visual. Well, I’m extremely visual, and I’ve been lookingat this stuff since I was 5 years old. That stereotype is shifting because of how we’re visually bombarded in ourculture. With sex addiction, the playing field is becoming level.I guarantee: Women who struggle with this are coming into our churches, and we’re not ready for them.After I got married, I faithfully attended churches and Bible studies, and I learned the Word, soaking it in.But my childhood pornography addiction came along with me.From time to time I would re-collect pornography, feel the guilt, repent, get rid of it. The pattern continuedthroughout my marriage. It wasn’t until recently that I embraced that I am a female with a sex addiction. Aswith other women, it’s not just a matter of reading romance novels. It’s a deep-seated, not-pleasant-to-talkabout,hard-core pornography addiction.We need to talk about women and sexual addiction. The longer it’s kept secret, the more the enemy feedson that. Churches need to create an environment where it’s safe to come forward with anything. ■RESOURCESDealing with the deep places of the heart cannot bedone in isolation. Consider walking through theseresources with a safe friend:EFCA resourcesOrder from NextStep Resources: (800) 444-BOOK orwww.nsresources.com» Good News for Those Trying Harder, by Alan Kraft,pastor of Christ Community Church,Greeley, Colo.The author invites us to be still and hear the twinmelodies that comprise the good news of thegospel—brokenness and faith. ($10.97)» Mission Possible: Winning the battle overtemptation, by Dr. Gil Stieglitz, superintendent of theEFCA Western DistrictIn this hard-hitting but practical book, the authoroffers real answers for men on how to develop andmaintain a pure mind. ($17.00)»“Behind Closed Doors,” sermon series by Alan Kraft,pastor of Christ Community Church, Greeley, Colo.(Download from www.stoptryingharder.com)Non-EFCA resources»www.exxit.orgHundreds of three-minute Bible studies as aresource for those struggling with pornography» “Somebody’s Daughter”62-minute DVD with testimonies from individualsabout their struggles with pornography. Includesfour music videos. ($19.99, order from 877-298-9081 or www.somebodysdaughter.org)»Women Reaching Women in Crisis: Sexualaddiction, by Marnie FerreeOne in a series of online resources for women’sministry leaders. This resource also touches onhelping women whose husbands struggle with asexual addiction. ($6.95 from LifeWay ChristianStores—visit www.lifewaystores.com and enterthis title)» XXX Church (www.xxxchurch.com)Resources for those desiring purity, including acomputer program e-mails a designated accountabilitypartner when you have visited a questionablesite or have disabled the software.» False Intimacy: Understanding the struggle ofsexual addiction, by Harry W. SchaumburgThe author goes beyond behavioral symptoms andwillpower-based solutions to provide biblical guidepostsfor the journey to restoration. ($11.20)» Bethesda Workshops(www.bethesdaworkshops.org)Provides Christian treatment for sexual addictionrecovery, with resources and intensive workshopsfor those who struggle and those who love them.» Crossroads: A step-by-step guide awayfrom addiction, by Edward T. WelchEach of us is a potential addict—whether withdrugs, alcohol, food, gambling or sex, to name afew. Eventually, every addict finds himself at acrossroads. (Study guide, $20; facilitator’s guide,$35; order from newgrowthpress.com or 877-647-2233)» Setting Captives Free(www.settingcaptivesfree.com)Ministry that includes free online Bible Study programsfor adults as well as teens—to assist youin helping others battle pornography.» Pure Life Ministries(888-PURELIFE, www.purelifeministries.org)Counseling ministry aimed at helping men getfree from sexual sin, including a residential program,phone counseling for husbands as well aswives, resources, and an annual conference.2 0 w w w . E F C A t o d a y . o r g

www.WrongPaint.comWrong paint. Right mission.The local paint store generously donated paint for your community outreach project, and now youknow why. Ministry life is filled with unexpected moments. Wondering if you have the right insurancecoverage shouldn’t be one of them. For the expertise and specialized insurance protection you need—count on Brotherhood Mutual.Make your ministry activities safer.Find free resources at www.WrongPaint.com.Insuring America’s churches and related ministries.® | www.brotherhoodmutual.com | 800.333.3735Property & Liability Insurance | Commercial Vehicle | Workers’ Compensation | Foreign Travel InsuranceCopyright 2008 Brotherhood Mutual Insurance Company. All rights reserved. Brotherhood Mutual is licensed in most states.

A NEWCONVERSATIONwith English-speaking services. Those that don’twill risk losing their younger generation, who arebeing “Americanized” much more rapidly thantheir parents.With that in mind, Cornerstone has designatedthat 30 percent of Ion’s 2009 salary shouldcome from the mission budget, allowing him tobegin training Russian-speaking leaders acrossthe country. Six training seminars are beingplanned for 2009. Leaders will be encouraged touse the CIC model if they can identify a nearbyEFCA church willing to serve as a host church.Cornerstone’s experience has shown that doing socan bring cultural enrichment, encouragement andexcitement—all for the glory of God. ■1 To learn more about the Church in a Church model, contact Dr.Alejandro Mandes (alex.mandes@efca.org). To learn about the trainingof Russian-speaking leaders or about hosting a Russian-speakingcongregation in your church, contact Ion Cheptene (314-968-9808 orion@cornerstonestaff.org).John Ritland is church chairman at Cornerstone EFC inWebster Groves, Mo. He’s interested in using the CICmodel to bring ethnic groups into the EFCA in his role asvolunteer church planter for the Central District.Forging onecongregationfrom two diversecultures isnothing new forthe EFCA.ALVIN SANDERS | Director, Samaritan WaySamaritan Way AssociatesDevelopment of young leaders and multi-ethnic leaders isa top priority of the EFCA. With this in mind, we have createdSamaritan Way Associates—a leadership-development programfor those who desire to lead with reconciliation in mind.We are pleased to announce our first Samaritan WayAssociate, Jeff Liou, who is completing his M.Div. at TrinityEvangelical Divinity School. Jeff plans to pursue a Ph.D. in thearea of race and theology and then teach at the university level.Jeff will receive mentoring from me and will utilize his expertisein the area of Asian American ministry, conducting a workshopat the EFCA Leadership Conference this June. Meet Jeff via ourinterview, below.Jeff, tell us about yourself.Jeff: I’m a second-generation Asian American, born in small-townOklahoma to parents who immigrated there from Taiwan. I metmy wife, Lisa, while we were college students, and three years agoGod brought us our beautiful, energetic, chatty daughter, Emma.What triggered your interest in Samaritan Way?Jeff: After college, I spent six years with InterVarsity ChristianFellowship, where godly mentors opened my mind to the ideas ofmulti-ethnicity and racial reconciliation. Time in inner-city Detroitopened my eyes to the need for reconciliation and holistic ministry.Since then, God has been opening my heart to His people ofevery ethnicity and to His reconciling purposes in the world. So,being a Samaritan Way Associate is an opportunity for me to keeplearning and applying what God is doing in me.What does reconciliation mean to you?Jeff: Recently, someone said, “Give me a verse” that explainswhy reconciliation is important. There’s no way to offer only one.Paul’s letters to the Colossians reveal that God, through Christ’sblood shed on the cross, reconciles all things to Himself (1:20).This means that our reconciliation to God and to one another isreally good news. But ultimately, Christians look forward to theday when “all things” are consummately reconciled to God, functioningas they were originally intended and giving glory to God.go to the web ///// To learn more about Samaritan WayAssociates and reconciliation, go to www.efca.org/samaritanway.summer 09 | EFCA today 23

LEADER TO LEADERJesus, Made in America byStephen Nichols1NTHEBOOKSHELFThe Quintessential AmericanJesus | Review by Jeff HigbieBeginning with the Puritans and weaving hisway up to 21 st century media and politics,Nichols highlights aspects of Americana thathave produced the quintessential AmericanJesus. Start with a dash of distrust in tradition,mix in a pinch of sola scriptura, add a spoonfulof pietism, bake for a few hundred years and,voila, you have the Jesus of America.Nichols seems to favor the Puritan emphasisof written word over visual representation—thus crowning theirs as America’s most biblicallyaccurate view of Jesus.Later, the Founding Fathers emphasizedJesus’ humanity at the expense of His deity.Frontier Jesus was a man’s man, but Victorianspreferred a softer savior. Liberals hung theirhat on His moral example, while Fundamentalistembraced His cross. Jesus as lover droveChristian rock’s emergence. Even moderndayconsumerism and political hopefuls havehitched a ride on the marketability of Jesus.By the author’s own admission this worktends toward critical scholarship, though pastorsand laypeople can still benefit from theepilogue’s suggestions on remaining faithful tothe biblical Jesus despite our indoctrination inthe Jesus of America.Jeff Higbie is pastor of Faith Evangelical Church(EFCA) in Underwood, N.D., and is preaching ayear-long series through the Gospel of Matthew,focusing on the biblical Jesus.Just Give Me (which?) JesusReview by Byron Harvey2 3A survey of today’s evangelical pulpit, andthe Jesus promoted there, would have bolsteredNichol’s book further. Still, it servesas a cautionary tale for us as church leaders.Are we immune to cultural forces that wouldlead us also to paint a portrait of Jesus that’ssomewhat (or significantly) removed frombiblical reality?In his epilogue Nichols proposes severalsolutions as we answer Jesus’ own question,“What think ye of Christ?” None are particularlyoriginal but all have merit, particularlyhis reminder that as the fully divine, fullyhuman God-man, “Jesus comes to us primarilyin complexity.”I’m challenged not to relax the resultingtension—to “flatten” Jesus into some flannelgraphcharacter—but rather to presentHim as He is: meek, yet bold; unpredictableat times; loving, rebuking, consoling, chastising;in short, Jesus not “made in America”but as He is revealed in Scripture.Byron Harvey is pastor of Red Oak (EFCA) inMarietta, Ga., and is preparing a sermon seriestitled “Jesus: The Big Questions” for this fall.Thoughtful ReflectionReview by Rita NystromIn Jesus, Made in America, I was confrontedwith just how vulnerable evangelicals canbe to co-opting truth in our zeal to get themessage out. Nichols claims that modernfilms about Jesus—compelling but not necessarilyaccurate—are becoming the waymany of us learn to understand Him. SoI have to ask: How much of my Christianunderstanding is based on something otherthan the Bible? Nichols’ invitation to subjectour contemporary Christian cultural experiencesto thoughtful and biblical reflectionmakes his book worth reading.Rita Nystrom is administrator in the EFCA WestDistrict office, a member of Crossroads Church(EFCA) in Turlock, Calif., and a committedbibliophile.4Toppling Popular NotionsReview by Andy PerryNichols deftly takes us on a 400-year tourthrough American history, revealing how thegeneral populous has thought of, respondedto and “used” Jesus along the way.Nichols conclusively topples the popularnotions that our nation was founded uponthe Christ of the Bible, that Veggie Tales ®presents an accurate Christology, and thatwearing “Christian” clothing (or promoting“Christian” music) makes for a churchwhere the true gospel is extended.Will the real Jesus (not the AmericanJesus) please stand up? This book carefully,graciously and biblically helps us find Himin the crowd.Andy Perry is senior pastor of Trinity Church(EFCA) in Minot, N.D., and believes that thereading of history should become a part of everyChristian’s spiritual-discipline arsenal.24 www.EFCAtoday.org

Community or Team?Experiencing transformationby Ruth Haley BartonIt is much easier to talk about community than actually experienceit at the leadership level. The truth is, most of us are not very good atmaintaining our commitment to community when we get together tolead something. We find it more natural to resort to the subtleties ofposturing and maneuvering and “working the system” when caught upin the dynamics of organizational or church life.One of the fundamental differences between a team and a spiritualcommunity is that a team gathers around a task, and when the task is overthe team disbands. Spiritual community gathers around a Person—theperson of Christ who is present to us through the Holy Spirit. We gatherfor the purpose of being transformed by the presence of Christ so that wecan discern and do the will of God both personally and together.All leadership groups experience [stress and strain] when the mission(and what it takes to carry out the mission) threatens to overwhelm ourlife together as a community in Christ.Whatever is empty or lacking at the leadership center of your churchor organization will eventually find its way out to the very edges. That’sthe bad news. The good news is that whatever is full and vibrant and trueat the leadership center of your church or organization will find its wayout to the edges as well. And it begins with you, the leader. ■Ruth Haley Barton is co-founder and president of the Transforming Center(www.TheTransformingCenter.org). A teacher, spiritual director and retreatleader, she is the author of numerous books and resources on the spiritual life.go to the web ///// Learn about Transforming Communities—a group of Christian leaders who commit themselves to eight quarterly retreatsover a two-year time frame—by visiting www.TheTransformingCenter.orgAdapted with permission from Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in thecrucible of ministry.LeadershipAdSpring.02: 4/6/09 1:33 PM Page 1multiplydisciples. leaders. all people.2009 EFCA Leadership ConferenceJune 23-25, 2009Grace Church, Minneapolis, MinnesotaRegister Now!bthetree.org

Other Voiceson RedefiningChristianityNever assume the gospelI echo the push to redefine what itmeans to be Christ-followers. What abeautiful expression of the holinessof Jesus—to be His hands and feetby serving.The only piece that I find missingfrom most of today’s emergentthinkers is the need to deliver thegospel of Jesus in tandem with theacts of compassion. I understandthat many times we must first gaina hearing, and that most of us mayeven be assuming the gospel piece,but let’s not take that part for granted.Rob McQueary is pastor of ProcessChurch (EFCA) in Duluth, Ga.Consider your categoriesBarna’s statistics often categorizepeople as “churched” (attendoften) or “unchurched” (rarely ornever attend). I think this bothreflects and shapes the way we asbelievers/churchgoers look at theworld. Our goal becomes to get the“unchurched” “churched.”But we need a third category: ”badchurched.”This would apply to peoplewho have had a legitimately negativeor disillusioning church experience, orwho attend a church that truly does notpreach, teach or live the gospel andjust have not yet been hurt enough tobe disillusioned.Lots of people are sounding thealarm about the “unchurched,” butwho is sounding the alarm about the“bad-churched”?Peter Sanderson is associate pastor atValley Bible EFC in Haddam, Conn.,and preparing to plant a church.Position yourself carefullyWhen I came to pastor on the NorthSide of Chicago, my challenge wasnot only to re-plant an older, strugglingchurch but also to redefineChristianity to our well-to-do, liberal,self-sufficient and indifferent-toreligionneighborhood.The disconnect between thechurch’s profession of faith and itsexpression of love was evident inthe less-than-favorable reputationour church has had with people onour street.While I do not wish to absolveour congregation from our own particularfailures, it seems that muchof our reputation was hinged on ourassociation, involuntary as it may be,with the conservative, fundamentalistwing of the Church. To many of ourneighbors, such cultural proximitydefined our local church as a group ofself-righteous, judgmental, intolerantreligious fanatics.If we are to be a redemptivepresence, we need not try to redeemthe conservatives nor embracethe liberals. We can be the gospelpeople, committed to both the truthof Christ’s teachings and the graceof His presence.Sergei Marchenko is senior pastor ofChristian Fellowship EFC in Chicago.Freely dispense graceOne of the reasons I am in ministrytoday is because of the negative wayI experienced the church growingup as a pastor’s son; instead ofwalking away, I want to be part ofthe solution. In my youth, my primaryunderstanding was that the churchwas a place where knowing “theright things” about God was theultimate goal—and it was our duty to“defend” God.Jesus changed my life after yearsof bitterness, and as a follower of Jesustoday, I realize that most of my Christianbrothers and sisters who comeacross as angry and unloving believethey are just being faithful. What manyhaven’t realized yet is that God candefend Himself and that their primaryrole is to abide in Him, soak in His freegrace and dispense it freely to all whocome across their path.Ben Youngkin is associate pastorof student ministries at GraceBible Church (EFCA) in ArroyoGrande, Calif.“Doc’s Place,” which was a volunteer-run, free medical clinic. Underanother sign, “Food not Bombs,” people were preparing food foranyone who was hungry.Being hungry ourselves, we hopped in line. I was served by a girlwho had obviously not showered in several days and was adorned with avariety of tattoos and piercings. She smiled and asked how I was doing. Isaid I was doing great and thanked her for the food. In the “kitchen” wasa collection of mostly young adults who seemed to draw energy fromeach other and the people they were serving. Everyone was accepted. Itwas one of the best meals I have ever shared with anyone.Friends, I witnessed two very different groups of people that week.One group was insulting, abrasive and judgmental. The other simplywanted to serve. The way I see it, only one group acted like Jesus. Ichallenge you and myself to take back Jesus’ name and represent Himaccurately—with love and compassion. Change will not happen overnight.But I am convinced that when we love like Jesus, we are slowly butsurely helping to prepare someone’s heart for God to do His work. Lovewell, brothers and sisters. Re-define Christ for the people in your livesand see what happens. ■Zach Smith works with Dry Bones, an inner-city ministry in Denver,and is a member of Bethany EFC in Littleton, Colo. Visit the Web toread the full-length version of this and other “stories from the streets”(drybonesdenver.org, under the “stories” tab).summer 09 | EFCA today 29

DOUBLE TAKEBcall to action from President Bill HamelBrothers and sisters, I cannot begin to convey the sorrow I feel over the epidemicof sexual sin among us. I know that it’s real. I know that it’s painful (mostcertainly not a “victimless crime”). I know that it’s not going to disappear easily.Yet I also know that it’s not the end of the story. No sin—let me repeatthat: no sin—is beyond the reach of God’s mercy. No sin is beyond the abilityof the body of Christ to admit and address. And no sinner is outside the limitsof our love.Yet as we’ve learned in these pages, isolation is one of our biggest enemies toliving in freedom before God and each other.Whatever we can doto help you fight yourway to freedom,we arecommitted to do.If you are struggling with pornography orany form of sexual sin, do not attempt to battleit alone. Find believers who will offer a safehaven in the storm (see “Where Do I Start?” onpage 14). And take that first brave step. You willfind that you are not alone in your humanity andin your struggles.The EFCA as a movement is committed to addressing sexual addictionamong us. Our Purity Initiative (see page 17) is a prime example. Whatever elsewe can do to help you fight your way to freedom, we are committed to do.We must never forget: The world stands before us, desperately needing to seelives of purity, peace and power.Not only for the sake of ourselves and our families—but also for the sakeof that watching world—let’s address everything that hinders and the sin thatDR. WILLIAM J. HAMELso easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out forus (Hebrews 12:1). ■summer 09 | EFCA today 31

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