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continued from page 8follower because of the intense strengthmen use to lead. They use arms to steer… . Their feet move before the upperbody … . I don’t have a clue how womenput up with me. Following with a manat a class opened up a completely newperspective for me. My teacher is fondof saying, ‘If you can’t do what your areleading, how can you expect somebodyelse to follow you?’” Stephen is of theopinion that “(a) man can also developbad habits practicing with another man,”particularly if the partner is not skilledor knowledgeable. To which Russellresponded: “This sounds like a goodargument that men need to put more timeinto practicing following, not less.”Lois Donnay (Minneapolis) offeredanother perspective: “I danced with aleader last night who has become quite agood dancer… But last night he revertedto many of his bad habits – pushing meinto the cross, using his right hand like arudder, etc. – lots of ‘brute strength’. Itwas rather drastic,” so she felt compelledto comment after the first dance, to noavail. The only explanation he couldoffer was that “he had just come from aclass for leaders, where they all led eachother.” Mark concluded, “I also thinkmen should be able to dance the woman’spart – at least somewhat – so they canhave a better understanding of what itis they are attempting to lead, and whatthe woman has to do to accomplish it.Finally, if a man can’t execute a simpleback ocho on balance, how can hepossibly ever execute the more advancedfigures in a man’s part? Balance ISbalance, isn’t it?”The Tango Guy’s initial posting that“Tango is not just a series of mechanicalmoves”, elicited the following response(again, with a “grin”) from Bibi:“Contrarily, many times I found myselfdoing non-musical aerobic exercisewith male dancers.” This segued intothe introduction of the next topic withher queries: “’Can dancing tango withsomebody ever be non-consensual? Isthere such a thing as tango rape?’ I amsorry to say, unfortunately, yes! and itis a real problem.” Bibi cited not onlysituations where some women continueto endure discomfort while dancingbecause they’re “afraid of not beinginvited in the future” but also cases ofthe follower being groped or worse. “Itis very sad to see tango – which had theluck to be elevated to a higher cultural“Can dancing tango with somebodyever be non-consensual? Is theresuch a thing as tango rape? I amsorry to say, unfortunately, yes!and it is a real problem.”alter – may be treated (by some minority)as another tool for harassment,” sheopined. Peter Jouliard simply respondedthat we shouldn’t expect people tochange their basic nature just becausethey are dancing tango.Posting from Hong Kong, DonaldHsu concurred: “It is really sad butI have to agree – tango rape (or atleast harassment) is an all too commonoccurrence” and often causes beginnersto not return. He suggests teachersinstruct followers “how to deal withsuch situations (when the intention of theleader is immediately obvious from theinitial embrace).” Donald acknowledgesthat the reverse – female-to-male – abusealso is possible. He continued, “Froma more technical standpoint, a forced/ (does) a brutal lead or a self-guided/un-led embellishment (auto-ganchos orhigh-kicks off a forward ocho) count astango rape as well?”This brought out passionate opinions!!Beginning with Tanguera Alegra taking“very strong offence to the analogy ofbeing mishandled on the dance fl oor …as in any way constituting ‘rape.’ Any(wo)man who has ever been raped willprobably feel the misuse of this termtrivializes the brutality and violence ofthe rape.” Luda, however, believes thatthe term IS appropriate and the effectmay be “just as damaging. If not moreso. Ditto for mind rape. It constitutes theinvasion … of one’s privacy, or identity.”T.A. countered that “the difference is ona dance fl oor: (a) you have willinglyagreed to dance with somebody; and,(b) (you) can WALK AWAY if it becomesuncomfortable at any time.” LynneButler sustained T.A.’s objection: using“rape” in this context “Trivializesa horror … and sensationalizesexperiences that – tough as they may be– are simply nothing like rape. Wordsare not rape. Dances are not rape.Rape is rape. There are several wordsin the English language that need to beexactly and only what they are – rape isone, lynching is another … The victimsof these crimes deserve better than thisinsult.” Bibi clarified her definition of“tango-‘r’ as a sexual pursuit with anun-conscenting partner, not revenge ormaking a statement.”Clayton Beach consulted MerriamWebster (online, of course), finding thatthe term “rape” originated in the 14 thcentury with a third definition as “anoutrageous violation”. Thus, althoughthis makes it appropriate for Bibi andLuda’s usage, he suggests the seconddefinition is more specific. (Readersof Tango Noticias, should be informedthat there was a parallel dialogueabout a tanguero who allegedly hadbeen particularly bold and, thus, thediscussion of this term was receivinginput from two or more camps.) Claytonfurther suggested, “perhaps we shouldjust agree to discontinue the use ofany simile, metaphor or hyperbole …lest we … commit some sort of literarycrime.” From there the postingscarried into further tangents regardingincidents, rumors, trivialization, etc.– some of which are still mounting as wereach press time so this thread may becontinued next month.continued on page 10Tango Noticias • June 20039