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24A N D T H E T I M E S O F T H I S I G N O R A N C E G O D O V E R L O O K E D • A c t s 1 7 : 3 0apostolic era. I believe that it was my evangelicalroots (my family are Baptists and I was born againin the Presbyterian church) that started to open myeyes to problems with this so-called renewal. Inhindsight I wonder how could I have been so blind?I laughed at people acting like dogs and pretendingto urinate on the columns of the TACF building.I watched people pretend to be animals, bark,roar, cluck and pretend to fly as if they had wings,perpetually act as if drunk and sing silly songs. HowI thought that any of this was from the Holy Spiritof God amazes me today.It was loud, irreverent and blasphemous of theHoly God of the Bible. In my mind I reasoned thatas long as they did not teach anything in directviolation of scripture then it was what wecalled the “exotic”. This is a buzzword formanifestations that could not be justified froma biblical perspective. I was taught, from thepulpit, that we had two options. The order ofthe nursery, full of life and messy, or the orderof the graveyard, very orderly but dead! As a youngimmature pastor I wanted life with mess. I failedto remember that God wants us to become matureand grow up in Him.I became disconcerted by the prophetic wordsthat came forth, especially one by Carol Arnott inwhich she had her bride experience where she wastaken into the very presence of Jesus and said thatthe love that she experienced was even better thansex! I was shocked in my spirit and thought howcan one compare the love of God with sex? Whenwe suspected that demons were running riot in ourservices, John Arnott would teach that we shouldask, are they coming or going. If they are leavingthen that is okay! John would defend the chaosby saying that we ought not be afraid of beingdeceived, if we have asked the Holy Spirit to comeand fill us then how could Satan come and deceiveus? This would make Satan very strong and Godvery weak! He said that we needed to have morefaith in a Big God to protect us than in a Big Devil todeceive us. This sounded very convincing, but wastotally contrary to scripture for Jesus, Paul, Peterand John all warn us about the power of deceivingspirits and especially so in the last days. Again, wedid not love God enough to obey His Word and theresult was that we opened ourselves up to lyingspirits. May God have mercy upon us!Finally the penny dropped for me as I was rollingaround one night ‘drunk in the Spirit,’ as we wouldsay. I started singing and as I rolled around the floorthe Nursery Rhyme ‘Mary had a little lamb its fleecewas white as snow’ came to mind. I sang this in amocking spirit and instantly my heart told me thiswas a demon. Instantly I repented and was in totalshock. How could a demon influence me? Did I notlove God? Was I not zealous for the things of God?I knew that an unclean spirit had just manifestedthrough me and I was guilty of great sin. Afterthis experience I stayed away from TACF. I didnot go back there any more. I did not possess theconviction to denounce the whole experience, butthought that we were failing to pastor the Blessingwell enough.Even after I stopped going over to TACF, I had topastor the fruit of it. One example was when someof our people returned from a meeting there askingus if we had all received the golden sword of theLord? I asked them what they were talking about,thinking that it was some prophetic reference tothe Holy Scriptures, but they said, ‘No, its not theBible. It’s an invisible golden sword that only thereally pure can receive. If taken in an unrighteousfashion then the Lord would kill you’. But if youare holy enough to receive it then you can wieldthis sword and it will heal aids, cancer etc. andbring salvation. How one wielded this sword wasby pretending to have this invisible sword in yourhand and motioning to strike people with it whenin prayer! I thought, while even in deception at thistime, that the TACF had become lunatics! This waspurportedly first received by Carol Arnott and thenIf God has forgiven me andopened my eyes then He can do it forall those caught in deception too.given to the ones holy enough to receive it!Another thing was the gold filling in the teeth.We had people in our assembly peeping down oneanother’s throats looking for the gold fillings thatGod had placed there to show how much he lovedthem! In all my time there I only heard one messageon repentance, given by a visiting speaker, JackiePullinger from Hong Kong. It went over like a leadballoon. We were not there to repent. We werethere to party in the Lord! After one year into theblessing I spoke out at a pastors’ meeting and said,‘Guys we have shaken, rattled, rolled, laughed, criedand bought the tee-shirt. But we have no revival, nosalvation, no fruit and no increased evangelism, sowhat’s the deal?’ I was soundly rebuked. Who wasI, to expect to see fruit when the Lord was healingHis broken people? We had been legalistic longenough and God was spending this time restoringHis wounded and freeing us from legalism. I wastold not to push the Lord and the harvest wouldcome in His time.I knew this was wrong because the Lordhad commanded us to go into all the earth andmake disciples! Not, that everyone should takea sabbatical for who knows how long, while Goddoes some strange new thing! Ultimately I leftover something as controversial as the ordinationof women. Personally I believe from scripture thatwomen should not be pastors/elders in a localassembly. I could be wrong on this, and there ismuch debate in the church today, but that is myconviction and in the Vineyard churches they wereordaining all the pastors’ wives to co-pastor withthem. I am certainly for women in ministry butbelieve that the elder/pastor role in a local assemblyhas been reserved for men. We didn’t write scripturebut, we should have the grace to obey it.So there is my story. I could go on and documentmuch excess, folly, sin and latter day rain teachingthat manifested from the prophetic end of thisBlessing but others have already done that. Wesang about Joel’s army and the billion-soul revivalas if it were one of the Ten Commandments, and asalways it was just around the corner, next month,next year etc. Jesus asked, “When the son of manreturns will he find faith upon the earth?” He warnedthat His coming would be hastened “the days willbe shortened” for the sake of the elect. This is afar cry from the dominionism that is being taughtall through the vineyard-prophetic-spiritual-warfaremovement. They think they are going to take overthe whole world! While in the Vineyard I embraceda life-changing verse from Paul, the apostle, thephrase, “Do not go beyond what is written!”To finish, I just want to say sorry for the damagethat I have done, by teaching things that are notcorrect, biblically. I repent before men as I alreadyhave before God. I will not excuse my falling intodeception. I did not test things when the scripturecommands us to do so. Everyone who was therewhen this thing started knows that what I write istrue, they would just come to different conclusionsespecially if they are still promoting the ‘river!’To those in the river I would say, climb out,there are things living in the water that willbite you really badly! I love the people of TACFand the Vineyard movement, but they havemuch to answer for and may the Lord opentheir eyes sooner rather than later. I suspect thatwhen my story becomes public I will get bombardedby emails, some damning me for still believing inthe ministry of the Holy Spirit and still walking indeception and some old friends damning me forexposing dirt or being negative about the Lord’sanointed! Well, the Lord knows my heart and byHis grace He will guide me into all truth as I seekto know Christ and Him crucified!If you believe that I walk in sin and error pleasepray for me, that the Lord would forgive me andopen my eyes. I will study the Word to show my selfa workman approved! I would call on all who readthis to pray that the Lord would open the eyes of allwho have been involved in this deception, whetherleader or follower, we are loved and the Lord is aforgiving God. He says, “If we confess our sins he isfaithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify usfrom all unrighteousness”. I believe we are like thechurch in Laodicea, we think that we are rich, haveprospered and need nothing, we do not realise thatwe are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind and naked.We must take the Counsel of Jesus and buy goldrefined in the fire, white garments to clothe ourshameful nakedness and eye salve that we mightsee again. Jesus is calling us to repentance andthank the Lord that He is, for it will lead us to truerestoration with our Father! If God has forgiven meand opened my eyes then He can do it for all thosecaught in deception too. I will finish with a warningfrom Paul, who said, “If you think you are standingfirm be careful lest you fall”.About the AuthorPAUL GOWDY a native ofNorthern Ireland met his wife,a Canadian, while workingwith YWAM in Scotland. Theymoved to Canada in 1991,married and now have fivechildren. Paul was a pastor inthe Scarborough Vineyard church for four yearsand a member for six. He was never forced outof the Vineyard Movement but is now doingevangelistic work, raising his own support,and working with the Pentecostal Churches ofCanada a sister denomination with AG-USA.