April Unity - TWU 556

“That’s Life”A look into the lives of real Flight Attendantsby Stacy K. Martin, 2nd Vice PresidentAfew months ago, Allyson asked me if I wouldbegin writing a regular column for UNITY. Ialways enjoyed writing my Houston DomicileReports, and to tell you the truth, I’ve felt a little“lost” without having a set subject to write abouteach quarter. I’d been giving it a lot of thought,and one day, it hit me. Life. If there’s one thing Iknow a lot about, it’s life. Our theme this quarter is“Relationships”, and through our relationships, weencounter our most significant life experiences. I’vebeen very open with my experience of losing mywife Shanna. This has been a helpful way for me todeal with my grief. Through this experience, I havemet many others who have encountered significantlife experiences, and I am constantly amazedand inspired by so many of you.Well, suffice it to say, I’ve found my niche. I’mgoing to start authoring a regular column in UNITYthat I’m calling “That’s Life”. A little more on thatlater. But in the meantime…Sunday night, February 28th, 8:12 P.M. to be exact:It was a wonderful day. That morning, I woke upwith my son Kendon staring me in the face. “Areyou ready” he asked. I had promised we would eatpancakes this Sunday morning. He picked a convenienttime of 7:19 in the morning to remind me ofthis. Of course, we got up, and off we went…breakfast was waiting after all. The day was full of“Kendon time”. We played, rode bikes, playedagain, all day. Around six in the evening, I preparedfor the next day, washing clothes, taking a bathwith Kendon. I started to stress about leaving forwork the next morning. My mom was in town totake care of Kendon for the week. All of whichbrings me back to the time of 8:12 pm.My mother was getting Kendon’s school foldertogether. I heard him telling her what he expects toeat for lunch Monday. I was folding clothes. Allseemed normal. I thought to myself, “things are OK,Kendon is bossing us around, and I am packing forwork”. Then, at exactly 8:12 PM, I stopped what Iwas doing. It is hard to explain what I was feeling inmy body. I felt like lead, I could not move. Then thethoughts came to my mind. It was not the first timethis had happened since Shanna passed away. Mymind was shifting to a different thought. I realizedthat everything that was going on, the bath, thelunch for school, getting ready for work… all threeof us happily doing a normal routine…Just oneproblem: This is what was supposed to happen withour lives. But I expected Shanna to be the one inthe kitchen preparing Kendon for his school day. Idrifted in to a state of mind of “How could this havehappened?”. It was like a thousand flashes ofmemories of spending time with Shanna. What anunbelievable mother she was. The love she had forKendon was passing through my body. I felt sad,love, joy, anger, and then it is was over. I looked atthe clock. What felt like being frozen in time, wasonly one minute, then it was gone.For most of you, maybe all of you, what I justdescribed to you is not unique to just me. We haveall experienced and lived these same rituals ofwhat we call life.I want to tell you about how Kendon and Ihave been doing since Shanna passed away.Kendon is doing remarkably well. He is funny, veryloving – a show-off. He is now 4 ½ years old, and Ido not think a day goes by that he does not talkabout his Mommy. I did not know what Kendonwould do, think, or how he would react to not havinghis mother around. What I have witnessed isincredible. Things were very tough for him the firstcouple of months after she died, and I was worriedabout him. He consistently has talked about theday they took Mommy away. The day she went toHeaven.About two months ago, he started asking methe same question every night. ‘Tell me about themorning Mommy died’. Each day he wanted toknow the details. Each day I told him. She wokeup at 4:30 AM. We cried together, she rubbed hishead as he was sleeping next to her. She told himshe loved him, she told me she loved me, and shetold us that she did not want to leave us. I told himwhat I said to her. She was going to leave us physicallybut would never leave us spiritually. I told himI kissed her, I said good-bye, we love you, she went12