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Kleinman, Arthur - The Tanner Lectures on Human Values

Kleinman, Arthur - The Tanner Lectures on Human Values

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[KLEINMAN] Experience and Its Moral Modes 401behind, damn you, like an old coat . . , Left behind? Left al<strong>on</strong>e!Left to die! Left to die! Ayeh . . . Ayeh . . . Ayeh!”Deep, distressing moans follow. <str<strong>on</strong>g>The</str<strong>on</strong>g> distraught voice stops mecompletely with its pain. <str<strong>on</strong>g>The</str<strong>on</strong>g> wrench of loss sounds absolute. Ican feel the ache of breathing broken by sobs reverberate in myown chest! <str<strong>on</strong>g>The</str<strong>on</strong>g> clutching sensati<strong>on</strong> makes me, an asthmatic, gaspfor air. Framed by so muted and minimal a resp<strong>on</strong>se from a thinmale voice, it keeps me still, listening in the darkness, l<strong>on</strong>g afteran upstairs window snaps shut and all sounds cease.<str<strong>on</strong>g>The</str<strong>on</strong>g> end of a marriage? <str<strong>on</strong>g>The</str<strong>on</strong>g> close of a l<strong>on</strong>g affair? <str<strong>on</strong>g>The</str<strong>on</strong>g> t<strong>on</strong>ecolor of the domestic threnody - dark, ominous, filled with bitterhurt-makes me think it will end as a court case. So much passi<strong>on</strong>ateenergy overflows that for a few menacing moments I evenworry about the risk for suicide; but there is neither direct threatnor acti<strong>on</strong>. N<strong>on</strong>etheless the thought stays in mind, as it would fora psychiatrist, faint but still present, an indistinct remainder of thedanger of words.I am a sojourner in a foreign city, staying in the apartment ofothers, who are <strong>on</strong> vacati<strong>on</strong> far away. I know no <strong>on</strong>e here. <str<strong>on</strong>g>The</str<strong>on</strong>g>reis no sensible reas<strong>on</strong> for me to be so engaged with the aftereffectsof the commoti<strong>on</strong>. <str<strong>on</strong>g>The</str<strong>on</strong>g>re are no faces, no stories I can affix to thedisembodied voices to give them pers<strong>on</strong>al shape; no history knownto me can bring the event into a c<strong>on</strong>text of significance. Yet, inside,hours afterward, I can still feel the anguished pain. Herebefore me was a riveting instance of break-up and loss; an experienceabout which I knew nothing and could do nothing, but still Iwas held by its sheer intensity, its insistent force, which caused thesounds to echo down the corridors of memory, drawing taut thefilaments of sympathy.But still, the an<strong>on</strong>ymity of the occasi<strong>on</strong> leaves an aftertaste oflingering disquiet. I am but the spectator of a transitory event.One that has for me neither a beginning nor an ending. Nothingis required of me. <str<strong>on</strong>g>The</str<strong>on</strong>g>re is freedom to listen in or not, but no resp<strong>on</strong>sibility,no obligati<strong>on</strong> to be engaged. Now this can happen to

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