TEENAGE SEX: What Should Schools Teach Children? Published ...

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average age of first intercourse is 15.If the median age of first sexual experience was 13-14 in 1990 (now probably even lower),and if the average age of first intercourse now 15, this means a high proportion of youngpeople are sexually active below these ages. That is why sex education has to begin muchearlier. It makes no sense to inform young people after they've started having sex. By then itis too late - hence the high incidence of teen pregnancies, abortions and sexually-transmitteddiseases. Long before their first experience, young people need to be forearmed with theknowledge, skills and confidence to make wise, responsible sexual decisions - including, ofcourse, the option of not having sex.Fears that early, explicit sex education will encourage premature and irresponsible sexualexperimentation are misplaced. Research by the Alan Guttmacher Institute in the US (E FJones et al, Teenage Pregnancy in Industrialized Countries, 1986; Pregnancy, Contraceptionand Family Planning Services in Industrialised Countries, 1989) found that the lowest rates ofteenage pregnancies and abortions are found in countries with the most liberal sexualattitudes, the frankest sex lessons in schools, and the most widely available family planningservices.Sex is Good for YouSex education is mostly anti-sex. It focuses on the potential negative consequences, such asunwanted pregnancies and HIV infection. There are endless warnings about the risks andpitfalls. Moralism is rife: don't do this, don't do that. The nasty consequences of the moresensational sexual diseases get plenty of coverage. Impotence! Infertility! Insanity! Thiserotophobic bias sends out the message that sex is bad and dangerous. It fuels the sexpsychosis that makes young people fearful and anxious about a human activity that ought tobe a source of great pleasure and joy.Sex lessons should tell the truth: sex is good for us. It is natural, wholesome, fun and healthy.Good sex can have a very positive, beneficial effect on our mental and physical well-being;lifting our spirits and creating new-found energy and optimism. The exhilarating rush andrelease of a powerful orgasm can have profound psychic reverberations: creating feelings ofelation, cleansing, inner peace and sublime contentment. It is no accident that surveys ofhuman happiness have often found a high correlation between being happy and beingsexually fulfilled. The two tend to go together.Research by Dr Merryn Gott of Sheffield University ('Long Live Loving', Daily Mail, 10September 2001) found that having an enjoyable sex life boosts a person's self-esteem,confidence and sense of well-being. It also discovered that good sex helps sustain a goodrelationship; easing tensions and strengthening feelings of togetherness and commitment.Young people have a right to know that while sex is not essential for health and happiness(some mystics get by without it), most people find that regular, quality sex enhances theirlives.Overcoming Guilt and Shame
Sex is not dirty. The naked human body is not obscene. Homosexuality is not immoral. Why,then, do schools do so little to challenge the Victorian-style sexphobia that still wrecks thelives of so many people?Lots of adults feel ill-at-ease undressing and being naked in front of their partner. Some canonly have sex in the dark, in a bed, and in the conventional way. Many are so fearful of sexualpleasure that they barely make a sound when they climax. Some cannot cope with anythingother than quick, furtive liaisons. Others suffer from post-sex guilt and depression. Plenty feelanxious about same-sex desires.Sexual shame causes immense human misery: not just frustrated, unhappy sex lives, butactual psychological and physical ill-health. Phobias, neuroses, panic attacks and eatingdisorders can sometimes originate from guilt about sex. Ignoring or tolerating the internalisedpuritanism that causes sexual and emotional dysfunction is incompatible with the ethos of aresponsible education system, which is to care for the present and future welfare of children.There is, therefore, a moral obligation on schools to challenge sex-shame pathology.Youngsters should be encouraged to feel relaxed and comfortable with their bodies andsexuality. The best way to achieve this is by talking openly and frankly about any and everysexual issue that concerns them. Sexual pleasure ought to be normalised and legitimated bytreating it like any other form of pleasure: it is something to enjoy and feel good about.There is another very important reason why teachers should challenge anxieties about sex.Sexual shame helps sustain child abuse. Adults who sexually exploit youngsters often getway with it because the victims feel embarrassed or guilty about sex and are thereforereluctant to complain. This reluctance is reinforced by strait-laced cultural attitudes, whichtend to still regard sex as something sordid that should be kept hidden and private. Theseattitudes are a godsend to abusers, who depend on guilt and secrecy to carry out theirmolestation undetected.To combat the sexual shame that inhibits the exposure of abusers, sex education lessonsneed to encourage young people to have more open and positive attitudes towards sexualmatters. Teenagers who feel at ease talking about sex are more likely to disclose abuse.How to Have Good, Safe SexMost pupils leave school with little idea of how to have good sex. They sometimes can'tplease themselves, let alone their partners. The end result is bad sex and mutualdissatisfaction.Senior level sex education should include advice on how to achieve mutually-fulfilling, highquality sex - the emotional and erotic value of foreplay, the multitude of erogenous zones andhow to excite them, and the importance of deep breathing and strong, rhythmic musclecontractions to the achievement of good orgasms.
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